TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 3

(1000 Posts)
TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 17:27:50

Here you go!

Beastofburden Thu 01-Aug-13 17:31:38

AND......???????

FruOla Thu 01-Aug-13 17:31:39

Have you responded to the sister yet, Tidy?

gaggiagirl Thu 01-Aug-13 17:33:16

Delurking to give you a supportive back slap.

georgedawes Thu 01-Aug-13 17:33:21

Have you replied?

Bowlersarm Thu 01-Aug-13 17:33:32

Well.....

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 17:33:34

I haven't responded yet, but I absolutely will tonight.

It will be a measured and calm response. Need to set the record straight while remaining angelic and morally sound. grin

gaggiagirl Thu 01-Aug-13 17:33:53

Back PAT sorry.

thistlelicker Thu 01-Aug-13 17:33:59

Oh
Tidy! I missed
Your thread lol!!!

FruOla Thu 01-Aug-13 17:34:34

wink

Sister?!! Where is old thread?

AlistairSim Thu 01-Aug-13 17:36:42

Could you link to the old thread, please?

I think I may have missed something vital.

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 17:37:31

First thread.

Second thread.

^ for the background

WhiteandGreen Thu 01-Aug-13 17:37:44

YAY!

FruOla Thu 01-Aug-13 17:38:22

OK, this is Thread 2 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1811064-TidyDancers-bridezilla-thread-part-2.

The sister emailed Tidy asking what was going on. I suggest you work backwards from the end of Thread 2!

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Thu 01-Aug-13 17:39:00

<leaps in with some sage, relevant advice>

youarewinning Thu 01-Aug-13 17:44:35

How sad am I? I did an advanced search to find a third thread blush

But glad that now means my place is marked grin

prettybird Thu 01-Aug-13 17:45:18

Awaiting agog grin

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 17:47:14

Okay to answer a couple of bits from the end of the second thread:

We had had no prior discussion about decorating the venue. Like I said, I'm an amateur artist and am competent (but in no way professional!) at interior design, but she had never mention me using this to help her.

I don't honestly think this was a great big plot she'd been planning for a long time, I suspect she just thought "oh fuck, I need someone to do the venue, oh Tidy is good at...." etc. Or at least that's what I hope.

Am also happy to be involved in some weird kind of glue sniffing zombie flashmob. grin

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 17:47:53

mentioned

Areyoumadorisitme Thu 01-Aug-13 17:49:29

Sorry, just marking my place smile

thistlelicker Thu 01-Aug-13 17:52:44

When is the wedding again

Lora1982 Thu 01-Aug-13 17:56:44

Tut the reason the threads get filled is all this place marking!!


<marks place>

nannynewo Thu 01-Aug-13 17:57:20

Can someone in short tell me any updates please? I know the basic story that her friend gave her a save the date card then didn't invite her and no wants help decorating! I would read through the other two threads but there are 1000 comments on each and it would take forever! Thanks smile

Cookingmonster Thu 01-Aug-13 17:57:53

Definitely NOT placemarking. Just wondered if anyone would like some popcorn?

prettybird Thu 01-Aug-13 17:58:34

Simply put "...and she won't take no for answer" hmm

Betternc4this Thu 01-Aug-13 17:59:05

Ooh that's me staying in tonight then !!!!

sad cah that I am.

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 18:00:04

The wedding is in about three weeks.

Morgause Thu 01-Aug-13 18:00:12

That would be nice, thanks, Cookingmonster.

<certainly not place marking, just enjoying popcorn>

BalloonSlayer Thu 01-Aug-13 18:00:41

Well that's it in a nutshell nannynewo.

Except the friend doesn't seem to get why she has been rude, won't take no for an answer and has now got her sister to email Tidy to say she is "upset." grin

I don't know what your settings on MN are like but mine show the OP's posts as green. If you have that I'd suggest skimming through and just reading Tidy's posts which have the texts of the emails on them. And then join us all in breathless outrage . . . grin

nannynewo Thu 01-Aug-13 18:02:54

Thanks BalloonSlayer I will check my settings out too! Oh she sounds horrid! Looking forward to the updates, hope this doesn't make me a meany!!

SecondStarToTheRight Thu 01-Aug-13 18:06:29

Please can we have a resolution to this tomorrow - I go in holiday then for 2 weeks without Internet, and the suspense will kill me!

( not shamelessly place marking at all, no, definitely not!)

have caught up and still in shock

i think stating the facts to the sister is the way to go

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 18:11:32

Oh yeah, the sister is getting a rundown of the facts and that's it. I'm not going to say I'm upset or anything like that, I think I just need to let her know exactly what's happened.

I do wonder if she suspects bridezilla is being bridezilla-ish as she hasn't accused me of anything, she has just requested to know what is going in as her sister is upset about it. It didn't come across as having a tone about it. It makes me think that perhaps I'm not the only one who has been subjected to some unreasonableness during this wedding!

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 18:12:21

what is going on

Bloody iPad making me look bad!

scarletforya Thu 01-Aug-13 18:13:04

Tidy could you just reply to the sister asking what has Gluezilla told her?

Before you go explaining yourself to a stranger......!

ArrowofApollo Thu 01-Aug-13 18:14:10

toffee please, Cookingmonster grin

Dear Sister of Gluezilla,

Sorry to hear your sister is upset, however I am confused as to why.
I made it very clear from the outset that I was not available to decorate her wedding venue.
I had booked the day off when I received a save the date card as was under the impression I was invited to the wedding itself.
However when your sister told me I wasn't invited (totally her prerogative), I cancelled my day off for a time when I needed it.
It was only after she told me I was not invited she asked me to decorate. I am sure you appreciate that this was rather impolite especially as I would have to give up one of my days off and pay for childcare.
I wish you luck helping her find an alternative decorator. As far as I am concerned the matter is closed.
I really do hope she has a lovely day.

Regards,

TD

Dubjackeen Thu 01-Aug-13 18:15:15

I agree, OP, just a very factual email, and hopefully that will put an end to it. I cannot believe the bride's cheek, I think it is safe to say your friendship is over. You have been very dignified throughout. flowers I am guessing that the bride's sister was given a very different version of the story.

Groovee Thu 01-Aug-13 18:15:18

Nanny, friend emailed saying please let me know if you change your mind to help. Next thing Tidy knew, Gluezilla's sister had emailed wanting to know what was going on.

AncientPigeon Thu 01-Aug-13 18:15:26

Ive been following the threads and relaying it a bit to DH and even he's now coming in and asking if there's been any updates!

YouTheCat Thu 01-Aug-13 18:17:11

I am following with interest. grin

LittleBearPad Thu 01-Aug-13 18:19:20

Marking place as I can't believe this is still going on.

Picturepuncture Thu 01-Aug-13 18:20:03

I missed thread 2 but sounds interesting! Are you emailing or phoning the sister TD?

scarletforya Thu 01-Aug-13 18:20:04

I don't think you should explain yourself Tidy, turn it around and ask Gluezilla and sister to explain what is going on, or in the case of Gluezillas sister what she thinks is going on...

I wouldn't keep repeating myself and explaining over and over. I mean really, there comes a point where Gluezilla needs to explain HERself.

Also Gluezilla 'didn't think it was a big deal' about the decoration so why the hell is she now 'upset' ?

Put your foot down about this nonsense OP!

PerchedOnMyPeddleStool Thu 01-Aug-13 18:20:19

How many of you have an image of gluezilla?
In mine she has a crazed look in her eyes and flaring nostrils

Arrow's message at 18.14 is absolutely spot on. Clear, concise, no aggro or drama, no upset or indication that you're fucked off at all but very very clear as to why you won't help. Send that.

ooohh I'm getting married in about 3 weeks too. am I gluezilla?



no, no I'm fine. I haven't used any save the date cards, and not inviting many or disinviting any and the venue is decorating itself. I'm fine. as you were...

FruOla Thu 01-Aug-13 18:27:00

"^Am also happy to be involved in some weird kind of glue sniffing zombie flashmob"^

I'm tempted to join in grin

FruOla Thu 01-Aug-13 18:28:09

Oh damn, italics fail blush

TheDoctrineOfAllan Thu 01-Aug-13 18:30:09

Boing!

pigletmania Thu 01-Aug-13 18:30:32

Just remember she is no friend, real friends don't treat each other like that!

IKnewHouseworkWasDangerous Thu 01-Aug-13 18:32:55

I second that arrow has it spot on. Calm, factual and unemotive.

Rooners Thu 01-Aug-13 18:33:16

Oh here everyone is! hello smile

BalloonSlayer Thu 01-Aug-13 18:34:13

I am not sure about all the "I cancelled the day off I had booked" stuff. Of course this may be the main reason for Tidy but I get the impression the main reason for declining is: "why do you think I must like you enough to do you a massive favour when you've just made it clear you don't even like me enough to have me at your wedding?"

I still quite like the idea of the simple

'it is never a good idea to show how little someone means to you just before asking them to do a massive favour'

clam Thu 01-Aug-13 18:38:43

Let's just hope that the sister doesn't make us all wait 3 days for a response.

<settles back with wine glass full>>

i also think sister hasn't got anything to do with it.

Strokethefurrywall Thu 01-Aug-13 18:40:39

.

Strokethefurrywall Thu 01-Aug-13 18:41:27

Looking forward to your response to the sister. Gives you a great opportunity to say what you need succinctly!

RenterNomad Thu 01-Aug-13 18:44:10

Let's hope the sister is a 'zilla chiller!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 01-Aug-13 18:46:06

so now the bride adds her sister in- bet she didnt explain all what had happened

a polite concise reply like below should be enough

facts only

ArrowofApollo Thu 01-Aug-13 18:46:24

I mentioned the day off stuff to try and keep the emotion out of it, iyswim?
I assuomg tidy is employed (rather than self employed) and therefore has a fixed allocation off holidays.

CalamityJ Thu 01-Aug-13 18:47:28

Why get her sister involved? People who get other people involved in their arguments who have no reason to get involved do my nut in! Why can't she accept no means no? She's making it really difficult for Tidy to be her friend after the wedding. Even if Tidy hadn't received a STD (love that acronym!) card she is still entitled to say no, I'm not free that day, it's not convenient for me to get childcare. You don't have to do someone a favour if you don't want to! especially someone who's not a 'good enough' friend to make the shortlist!

ArrowofApollo Thu 01-Aug-13 18:48:10

But yes agree that the main reason is the lack of invite. I think TD needs to avoid any implication of sour grapes. we know it is not but the sister might conclude that.

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 18:50:02

I can't be sure that bridezilla actually knows her sister has emailed. This might be done without her knowledge.

CorrieDale Thu 01-Aug-13 18:53:36

You are going to include the bit about it not being a great plan to mightily piss someone off just before requesting a huge favour from them, aren't you? And I think that the save the date stuff is not just filler - surely it's the crux? Depending on the circumstances I might just help out a friend whose decorator had bailed on them even if I weren't invited to the do. It's the "I'm so great and my wedding's so special you need to save the date just in case you make the cut" that would have me seething!

shellbot Thu 01-Aug-13 18:53:37

Good grief just read the other threads and can't believe the cheek of some people. Definately put your side to the sister.

ApocalypseThen Thu 01-Aug-13 18:55:19

Well I'd say sisterzilla probably is sick to death of the wedding - I'd imagine someone as oblivious as gluezilla probably has situations on all sides. So I'd take that tone in reply - that you're confused about it all too. You got the STD and then no invitation, but then you're somehow decorating? Someone's got the wrong end if the stick somewhere, because as far as you're concerned, there was never any question of you going other than as a guest...

pigletmania Thu 01-Aug-13 18:56:08

Exactly balloon, she must be so self obsessed that people should want to do favours for her, even though she does not like them as much, just smacks I love myself so much. Tidy said in her first tread that she talked about te wedding a lot to people

scarletforya Thu 01-Aug-13 18:56:37

Agree with BalloonSlayer ^^

MrsKoala Thu 01-Aug-13 18:59:41

I agree Tidy, you'd have to be some kind of machiavellian master to have planned not to invite you but sent STD card to ensure your services were available. And i think if you imply that you are going to look a bit strange and narcissistic/paranoid.

Just plain facts. it needs no hyperbole.

pigletmania Thu 01-Aug-13 19:00:19

Exactly corrie bet she's one of those on Facebook who announces quite dramatically that's she's making a cull, and will you ake te cut, see you on the other side if you have, bad luck if you haven't, type things. The friends say pick me pick e in response to tat status. Tidys mum said that when they were younger brides ills was very self absorbed, nothing changes eh

pigletmania Thu 01-Aug-13 19:01:44

I did not not mention my wedding unless people asked me, towards the end I found it all just boring talking about it when asked

GoofyIsACow Thu 01-Aug-13 19:03:31

Tidy can I just say that I am very very pleased that you have started your second and third threads yourself, i have my settings so the OP's threads are green and I can easily scroll through for updates, so when someone else starts the next thads it really bugs me, so thanks for that!

In no way using this thin compliment to mark my place waiting for this crazy saga to unfold further

grin

pigletmania Thu 01-Aug-13 19:03:56

Exactly those std cards sent to the 20 not invited we're to reserve the day so they can provide service to bridezilla, not as a guest

I think ArrowofApollo has it spot on.

Maryz Thu 01-Aug-13 19:05:44

I'm not place-marking either <lies>

Maybe just email the sister and say "I'm not sure why she is upset - she asked me to do the hall, but I don't want to" and leave it at that.

prettybird Thu 01-Aug-13 19:08:33

I'm supposed to be packing to go off to Ireland tomorrow for a cycle race that ds is doing. I've also got to make chocolate chip cookies to make (the kids have come to expect them hmm).

This is distracting me!!! grin

Ezio Thu 01-Aug-13 19:09:06

Ignore the friend from now on, factual response to the sister, thats all that needs to be said.

Gluezilla is starting to sound like a child begging its mother for a new toy.

RaspberrySchnapps Thu 01-Aug-13 19:10:56

TD I reckon you're right about the sister, she is getting grief from Bridezilla about all sorts of wedding related nonsense.

I picture Gluezilla as on of the women reclining on a windowsill on the unhappy hipsters website, ultra modern minimalist all very organised home, with a DH staring mournfully off a balcony, secretly planning escape or praying for death grin

Mia4 Thu 01-Aug-13 19:11:36

It sounds like your friendship with this woman may well be truly done Tidy-question is are you sad or relieved? I'm intrigued, do you know any of the others who received STD but no invites? What were their 'roles' in the brides eyes?

SarahAndFuck Thu 01-Aug-13 19:12:17

I still like Horry's suggestion on the second thread. Perhaps taking up, I think it was Diddl's suggestion, to not say "I'm sorry" at the start.

I would still take out the bits in the strikethrough and add in the bits in italics.

Dear Sister Of The Bride

I'm sorry to hear that Gluezilla is upset. I thought we had come to an understanding.

I really don't understand myself why Gluezilla is upset, so perhaps you could explain it to me.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, but still not be invited to share her special day as Gluezilla had never discussed this with me until X date. I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help. I would have had to rearrange time off work (which I had cancelled once I knew I wasn't invited) and organise expensive childcare in order to do so.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is but maybe she will once she has children of her own. I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

And so would make the entire message read as follows:

Dear Sister Of The Bride

I really don't understand myself why Gluezilla is upset, so perhaps you could explain it to me.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as Gluezilla had never discussed this with me until X date. I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help. I would have had to rearrange time off work (which I had cancelled once I knew I wasn't invited) and organise expensive childcare in order to do so.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is. I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

Cookingmonster Thu 01-Aug-13 19:13:07

Definitely NOT placemarking. Just wondered if anyone would like some popcorn?

Cookingmonster Thu 01-Aug-13 19:16:25

DAMN! Thought I was good just lurking but accidentally reposted! I have Malteasers as well....

HepsibarCrinkletoes Thu 01-Aug-13 19:17:41

.

MrsKoala Thu 01-Aug-13 19:18:21

I think i would just answer 'i think it is rude to be asked to decorate for a party i am not invited to and therefore am not willing to do so.'

Sollers Thu 01-Aug-13 19:18:51

Yes, I like the Horry/Sarah response best. Send that.

BigW Thu 01-Aug-13 19:22:14

In no way should this post be viewed as place marking. As you were.

MrsKoala Thu 01-Aug-13 19:22:41

I would not say why it isn't possible to help - childcare/work - because thay implies that if these were not obstructing you you would be willing to do it. And she may then feel she wasn't tude and it's just convenience standing in your way. She may even offer solutions to childcare etc.

i think you need to say you wont do it because it is a plain rude expectation.

PeriodFeatures Thu 01-Aug-13 19:24:04

I really want Tidy to get back to sister and say...'um look i understand how important this is, i'll see what I can do'

string it out for about four days, get their hopes up and BOOM.. 'no sorry, it's absolutely impossible, I really have tried' grin

Gosh i'm horrible!

laeiou Thu 01-Aug-13 19:24:58

I think the response should be clear that gluezilla keeps asking, and keeps getting the same answer.

Witt Thu 01-Aug-13 19:25:45

I like the Horry response too

Thread three - this is the read that keeps on giving. TidyDancer, I think I love you!

BigW Thu 01-Aug-13 19:30:58

As far as I can make out from the sister's response, Gluezilla is upset not because she is worried that she has upset a lifelong friend, but rather that her decorations won't get done.

She's either a self obsessed meanie or...no wait...she's just a self obsessed meanie.

Ooh, I missed the sister bit, you will tell us what you reply won't you Tidy surely it can't just be you subjected to her bad manners and poor treatment!!

farrowandbawl Thu 01-Aug-13 19:38:14

Ooooh, let us know what you said won't you?

I think senua's response (on the other thread, so I will copy it here) is perfect:

Dear GlueSister

It is a shame that Gluezilla is getting herself upset over her wedding plans but it has nothing to do with me.

^She originally implied that I was to be invited to the wedding, but when the invitations went out I was not included on the list. I therefore conclude that I am not one of the 80 most important people in her life. Fair enough, that's her decision.
After demonstrating how little she values me as a friend, she then asked me to do her an enormous favour which would have been a big inconvenience to me. To compound the problem, the favour was in connection with the wedding to which I was no longer invited. So the request was both presumptuous and staggeringly insensitive.^

I declined. I never intimated that I would do it. I had to decline again because she kept asking (and therefore compounding the rudeness). It seems that she is now using you to ask, yet again.

The answer remains the same and will do, no matter how many times she asks. I would be grateful if you persuaded her that it would be a better use of her energy to ask someone else because I am not going to reconsider. She needs to change track, and fast, because the later she leaves it, the more difficult it will be to find someone.

Sorry that this is so long-winded but I feel that the family needs to hear my side of the story because GlueZilla does not seem to be taking my e-mails on board.

Regards

Tidy

weisswusrt Thu 01-Aug-13 19:40:47

You know what would clear this up for all involved?? Sending links to bridezilla and sis-zilla! Doitdoitdoitdoit!

FriskyHenderson Thu 01-Aug-13 19:44:04

Just forward Gluezilla's email to the sister with the message

"This &#8595;&#8595;&#8595;&#8595;"

FriskyHenderson Thu 01-Aug-13 19:44:36

Oh bollox - those are downwards arrows.

I don't see why Tidy has to pretend she didn't mind being uninvited. I'd go with...

Dear sister,

I'm sorry to hear sister is upset that I won't decorate her wedding venue for free. She didn't discuss this with me earlier in the planning stages - perhaps she should have. She did, however, invite me to save the date for her wedding. I did so, only to be uninvited and then asked if I would decorate the venue for the invited guests regardless. That would be a no. There's friendship, and then there's being treated like a mug.

Yours etc.

Angelico Thu 01-Aug-13 19:45:24

Definitely not marking place, nope, not me wink

Since I am name checked already I have no qualms in jumping into this thread feet first.

Sarah's edit of my letter is excellent, although for strategic/political reasons I would be more bewildered and less shirty where possible.

And I've realised you can cite either time off work or childcare issues but not both...

SarahAndFuck Thu 01-Aug-13 19:50:21

I think the idea behind it is so Tidy doesn't look like she still wants an invite Longtalljosie.

Her perfectly reasonable decision not to help could be twisted to look like sour grapes or angling for an invite if she keeps mentioning it.

I think MrsKoala is right about the the childcare comments actually, so I'm changing my stolen from Horry suggestion again to:

Dear Sister Of The Bride

I really don't understand myself why Gluezilla is upset, so perhaps you could explain it to me.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as Gluezilla had never discussed this with me until X date. I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help for a number of reasons.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is. I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

all this childcare business is beside the point and actually just diverting attention from the rudeness aspect.

tidy is good enough to help decorate the hall as gluezilla's skivvy, but not good enough to go to the wedding.

and that is NOT ASSEPTABLE.

SlimePrincess Thu 01-Aug-13 19:57:06

Best thread EVAR!

ah x-post.

MrsKoala Thu 01-Aug-13 19:59:16

Yes Sarah/Horry - Mine would be slightly altered :

Dear Sister Of The Bride

I really don't understand myself why Gluezilla is upset, so perhaps you could explain it to me.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as Gluezilla had never discussed this with me until X date. I'm afraid I am unwilling to decorate for an event for which I am not invited, so therefore have declined.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is. I simply wont help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

CeliaFate Thu 01-Aug-13 20:08:39

This is immense! The saga continues...

fluffyraggies Thu 01-Aug-13 20:11:39

I've just sat and read through thread 1, 2, and this one tidy and i think you must reply to the sister with the same dignity with which you have replied to the bride.

Make sure the reply explains about the STD card and your hurt in a calm and sensible way. I cannot believe anyone who knows the facts of the situation could fail to see your point of view.

No need for wit or vitriol.

missimperfect Thu 01-Aug-13 20:15:54

I would just go with:

Hi sister-of-the bride, I am not sure why Bridezilla is upset as I never at any point discussed decorating with her or agreed to help! She asked me a couple of times but I told her straight away I wasn't able to help. So I really don't know why she told you she was relying on me. I guess she has a lot on her plate with the wedding plans.

To be honest I did say she was a bit insensitive to ask me as she had originally sent me a save the date card and I had thought I would be invited to the wedding. When it turned out I was not invited, I thought fair enough plans change and you cant invite everyone, the save the date cards were a bit odd, but never mind. But then to be asked to give up my time and sort out childcare etc to decorate for the "real" guests didn't appeal to me at all and hence I let her know I couldn't do it.

Anyway, I am sure you can sort something else out. There's always so much to do leading up to a wedding isn't there? I hope you have a good day.

Tidy

BigW Thu 01-Aug-13 20:17:04

Dear Gluesister,

I am so sorry to hear that your sister is so upset about this. Hopefully I can fill you in on what's happened.

She invited me to save the date for her wedding back in June (?), which I did. I have to admit that I was a little surprised and quite disappointed given the length of our friendship, that a wedding invitation did not follow. As hurt as I was not to be included in her special day I resolved not to bear a grudge as I know how hard it can be on budgets when you are planning a wedding and I truly wish her well for her special day.

Imagine how I felt then when she thought it was ok to ask me to help her decorate the venue for a wedding to which I had essentially been disinvited. I understand that planning a wedding can be all consuming and I am willing to make allowances for that, but I think this request is one step too far. I'm sure you can see my point of view and I hope you will be able to explain to your sister so she is able to find someone in a better position to help than me.

I really hope the day goes well and Gluezilla is able to find the help she needs.

smile smile smile

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 20:21:22

"Dear Sister,

I'm not entirely sure myself why F is upset if I'm honest. All I can do is really explain my position and hopefully it'll make sense to you.

Your sister invited me and [DP's name] to her wedding by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm one of 20 who received the original save the date cards and whom are not invited after all. I've accepted this as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as F had never discussed this with me before less than a fortnight ago and I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help for a number of reasons. I'm not sure if you're under the impression that I had arranged to help F and then pulled out, but this isn't what happened. I truly had no idea she was going to approach me to do this until I received her email.

Your sister is normally so thoughtful, so I'm surprised she hasn't realised what an imposition it is. It's just too much I'm afraid and I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy"

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 20:22:42

That was my reply. Thanks to lots of you who helped, mainly Hoppy who I believe put together the main body of it. I have tweaked in a few places, but I am very grateful!

SarahAndFuck Thu 01-Aug-13 20:23:00

Have you sent it Tidy? I like it smile

SuperiorCat Thu 01-Aug-13 20:23:18

Wow, thread three on this and bridezilla still hasn't seen how rude she has been.

I like missimperfects reply. not place marking at all oh no

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 20:24:29

Yep, it's been sent. smile

TheDoctrineOfAllan Thu 01-Aug-13 20:27:47

Yay Tidy!

QOD Thu 01-Aug-13 20:27:50

O_o

HoikyPoiky Thu 01-Aug-13 20:29:09

Dear Sister of GlueZilla

I don't know what you have been told but at no point did I agree to help GlueZilla decorate the hall so I have no idea why she would be upset with me
I thought it was insensitive of her to ask me to do it considering that I am not invited to the wedding despite being sent a save the date card last XXXX
I have been clear about my position with her and i really don't want to discuss it any further

I hope everything is ok with you

Tidy

(Short, unemotive and to the point)

snuffykins Thu 01-Aug-13 20:29:11

That's perfect.

HoikyPoiky Thu 01-Aug-13 20:29:34

Doh. Too late.....grin

SlimePrincess Thu 01-Aug-13 20:30:49

Classy reply once again, Tidy.

Do you think they'll get the message now?

nicely done tidy

if anyone responds now though making you look insane you should revert back to the glue comment wink grin

HoikyPoiky Thu 01-Aug-13 20:31:23

Tidy

That is a great reply. You sound really sensible and level headed.

Great work grin

missimperfect Thu 01-Aug-13 20:32:08

Awaiting the next instalment then!! I wonder if the sister has been asked to sort out the decorating after poor Bridezilla was so upset and was trying her luck?
Are you really good at decorating Tidy? It's just hard to imagine why Bridezilla is still making a thing of it otherwise.

Sollers Thu 01-Aug-13 20:36:19

Well done Tidy! That was perfect.

MrsKoala Thu 01-Aug-13 20:37:17

Nice reply. I fail to see how this can be misunderstood or any offence taken, but then again i fail to see how you are even in this situation at all - so what do i know?!

FruOla Thu 01-Aug-13 20:46:46

Great. Hope that Gluezilla's sister now understands it from your POV - and gets Gluezilla to see sense!

Lalalalala
<tenterhooks>

flowersfortea Thu 01-Aug-13 20:49:15

well done Tidy, remaining very dignified in your replies to what must be an ever more irritating situation!

Excellent reply. blatant place marking

.

georgedawes Thu 01-Aug-13 20:51:27

Good reply wonder when she will get backto you?

EATmum Thu 01-Aug-13 20:53:06

Great response.

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 20:53:27

Thank you all. smile

You have put together the majority of responses for me, and I really appreciate it!

We shall see if anything comes from the bride's sister!

BigW Thu 01-Aug-13 21:01:27

Great response Tidy

knickernicker Thu 01-Aug-13 21:02:18

Bridezilla and Sisterzilla have not followed these threads,so whilst we're all full of righteous indignation we have to appreciate that they're coming at this from a different angle. I wouldn't be surprised if they both continue to be confused by the OP's reaction to the decoration request.

SlimePrincess Thu 01-Aug-13 21:08:27

I think so to. In their heads they are the centre of the universe and Gluezilla's wedding is the most important event mankind has ever born witness to. Therefore people should be falling over themselves for the honour of being a slave to Gluezilla.

Lazyjaney Thu 01-Aug-13 21:08:57

Time to bet on the next email.

I suspect sister has been given task of mediating to get the hall decorated or else they wouldnt have bothered replying to the last one, so I think there will be a re- bid, wonder what her offer will be.

Full points in the game are for getting a bridesmaid offer with dress paid for, but that would be a few emails away.

Here you are.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Thu 01-Aug-13 21:10:43

I cannot believe this is still ongoing! Ye gods and little fishes!

Well said Tidy. smile

Betternc4this Thu 01-Aug-13 21:15:02

Very good reply but saying I was looking forward to seeing the pics of a wedding of an alleged close friend who had treated me like this , would have stuck in my throat tbh. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. But a very good reply and you have definitely come out the bigger person and kept the high moral ground.

Hope there's more or whatever will l do in the evenings now hmm

How many of you have an image of gluezilla?In mine she has a crazed look in her eyes and flaring nostrils

In mine she wears the face of my ex best mate (for whom I was bridesmaid) who morphed into such a fucking nightmare that the last day I saw her was "on this my special day ".

I don't envy you OP, but I admire your restraint. Given my time again, knowing what I know now, I might have opted to just stick the heid in ex best friends face when she asked me to bridesmaid angry

I have to go lie down now, all this has triggered my rage again...

ChasedByBees Thu 01-Aug-13 21:17:06

Oh good reply. I hope that she picks up how rude her sister has been to ask someone not invited to decorate the hall for those that are.

Do you think you'll stay friends? I think on thread 2 the door was still open.

Hoppy? hmm wink grin

Great response though. Good edits from posters upthread, very calm and polite all round.

Fingers

youarewinning Thu 01-Aug-13 21:22:32

Great reply grin

Fingers?

Fuck knows what I meant to say there. Possibly something like "Fingers crossed it works."

Betternc4this Thu 01-Aug-13 21:22:45

Oh do tell Littlegrey you could provide our Bridezilla tales fix while we wait for next episode from Tiny

Not saying we've become hooked or anything you understand hmm

YoniRanger Thu 01-Aug-13 21:29:06

Shamelessly place marking.

I've never been or known a bridezilla so MN is my only peek into this strange world grin

LemonBreeland Thu 01-Aug-13 21:35:21

Wow I somehow managed to miss the second thread entirely.

I can't believe that this is still going on. shock

PurplePoppy13 Thu 01-Aug-13 21:38:02

marking my place

ratbagcatbag Thu 01-Aug-13 21:43:41

Checking in smile

ArkadyRose Thu 01-Aug-13 21:48:53

Don't mind me, just marking my place.....

ShellyBoobs Thu 01-Aug-13 21:50:19

I've never been or known a bridezilla...

I'm guessing no one thinks they were a 'zilla, Yoni.

grin

magentastardust Thu 01-Aug-13 21:51:08

Great email. Look forward to the reply!

Ahhhcrap Thu 01-Aug-13 21:52:41

Great response Tidysmile

God, no. 6 years on and I could still write a thesis of ranting grin

Some women just utterly lose the run of themselves once they are "the bride".

wizzler Thu 01-Aug-13 21:54:22

Well done Tidy, you have maintained your dignity throughout

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 22:00:18

Oh man. Horry I'm sorry! My iPad is killing me tonight. Giving me appalling grammar and renaming you!

As an apology, you win the chance to decorate my wedding venue next year. It's such an honour you see....! grin

RandomMess Thu 01-Aug-13 22:00:28

Blimey Bridezilla clearly is a leetle bit crazy!

StrangeGlue Thu 01-Aug-13 22:00:49

Three threads! Three jeffing thread and glue-bride (aka wife of slyvians) is still to utter that most important of little words

... sorry.

Wow!

Ezio Thu 01-Aug-13 22:01:01

Whenever i get married, my maid of honour, will be on strict instructions to slap me if i get precious or demanding, and she'd fucking do it too.

congresstart Thu 01-Aug-13 22:04:04

Why don't they all just get the hint and fuck off and take the wedding with them! seriously I think you need to start being less polite IMHO....this family just aren't getting it with politeness.

Catmint Thu 01-Aug-13 22:08:24

Tidy, you totally own that moral high ground! smile

uneedme Thu 01-Aug-13 22:09:07

Fantastic reply!

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 22:11:02

I am giving the sister the benefit of the doubt at the moment. I honestly don't know how much she is aware of. If she replies, I guess I'll find out. But right now I have to assume she's been lied to by bridezilla and doesn't know the full story.

I'm just waiting for MumoftheBridezilla to weigh in now, furious that Tidy isn't jumping through hoops for her princess on her special day.

FGetsMarried Thu 01-Aug-13 22:12:05

Hi TidyDancer
I have to say I am very upset that you have seen fit to share our little contre temps with so many people. I am also very upset that I am being called GlueZilla on this thread when as you know I only did glue a few times in school when everyone was doing it and lots of girls in the class did it a lot more than me.

As I said my sister and I are really confused about why you don't want to help me. I don't know what else you would be doing with your time as you don't even have to get your hair done or anything as you aren't coming to the Big Day.
Sorry about that by the way but if you can come along the day before and do up the venue I'll order you a pizza or something.

I am sorry you are being so mean spirited about this so I am going to get my mum to email you next. then there are some cousins and aunties who could harrass you on my behalf.

You cannot win, TidyDancer. I will make you do this.

Helpyourself Thu 01-Aug-13 22:16:18

Lovely reply.
Now, why is the bride called gluezilla?

RinseAndRepeat Thu 01-Aug-13 22:18:00

Perfect reply. Do let us know if sis gets back to you.

RTFT

TidyDancer Thu 01-Aug-13 22:18:48

Helpyourself - the most popular/funny suggestion on the first thread was that I ask the bride "are you on glue?". Her moniker was born out of that. grin

clam Thu 01-Aug-13 22:19:36

Helpyourself Way back on Thread One, a poster suggested a reply to the bridezilla:
Dear Bitch
Are you on glue?
Love Tidy x

This has morphed into Gluezilla grin

Hello fgets are you a sock puppet?

mycatlikestwiglets Thu 01-Aug-13 22:20:59

grin love it FGetsMarried!

If you like my page on Facebook then I'll do it, Tidy.

(disclaimer for those who haven't RTFT: not actually my page on FB)

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 01-Aug-13 22:23:43

grin Fgets. V funny.

FGetsMarried Thu 01-Aug-13 22:25:12

Why all this talk of sock puppets? We did consider them for the decorations (with felt eyes and wigs etc added, to look like me and my lovely hubby to be) but TidyDancer is the only person artistic enough to make them work and she is too selfish and lazy to help us. So we are just going to make huge posters of photos of us snogging and put them on all surfaces instead

Beastofburden Thu 01-Aug-13 22:25:41

Tidy can we all come and decorate your hall when you get married? You don't have to invite us to the wedding We will bring our own swans and laminated poetry.

onedev Thu 01-Aug-13 22:30:38

Very dignified response Tidy - no way could I have been so generous in my response had it been me! I certainly wouldn't want to see photos (except maybe on Facebook where I'd be hoping people had posted some hideous ones!) grin

ClaudiaWinklepants Thu 01-Aug-13 22:38:25

Excellent response Tidy. Wonder how long it will be til there is a reply. Hopefully the sister will be able to see reason, but then again everyone seems to go a little batshit when there is a wedding grin

IsotopeMe Thu 01-Aug-13 22:51:09

Have just read all three threads at work tonight. Great response, well done. Can't wait for the update!

Snort at horry's FB page grin

And at Fgetsmarried grin

Picturepuncture Thu 01-Aug-13 23:03:33

Great response, wonder when you will get a reply?

Areyoumadorisitme Thu 01-Aug-13 23:04:23

Well done Tidy. Hopefully the sister will actually 'get' the issue.

Caboodle Thu 01-Aug-13 23:06:45

Marking place and very much needing to know sister's response.....

HooverFairy Thu 01-Aug-13 23:08:49

Yes please Cookingmonster <gets comfy>

SanityClause Thu 01-Aug-13 23:11:30

You know, you can easily mark your place using the handy "bookmark" facility. It saves your place, and when you open the thread, it jumps straight to where you saved.

Caboodle Thu 01-Aug-13 23:12:50

Thanks Sanity

Mimishimi Thu 01-Aug-13 23:13:41

Your reply is very nice whilst conveying very clearly all the emotion felt at being asked to decorate but not to expect an invitation, and this happened to twenty other people too ;) There's no point being blunt and nasty to the sister as she may be fed up with drama herself and just wants to know what is going on.

hedgehogpickle Thu 01-Aug-13 23:23:03

Just caught up on end of thread 2 and this one......bloody hell!
Great reply Tidy - will be looking forward to any response from Gluezilla or her sister (as will DH who is currently shaking his head over this thread in disbelief smile)

Angelico Thu 01-Aug-13 23:30:53

You were extremely restrained Tidy - looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Mimishimi Thu 01-Aug-13 23:35:23

How many of you have an image of gluezilla?In mine she has a crazed look in her eyes and flaring nostrils

in my mental image of the bride to be, she doesn't look deranged at all. She has dark blonde hair, fair skin, slightly piggy looking eyes, a soft jawline, middling height and weight and even in her wedding photos looks very cool and 'efficient'. I thought the moniker came from the glue associated with decorating, not her sniffing it! Both are apt though grin

singmelullabies Thu 01-Aug-13 23:36:14

How do you bookmark, Sanity?

Does Horry's fb page remind anyone else of the creepy mouse taxidermy things from dinner for schmucks?

NadiaWadia Fri 02-Aug-13 00:25:43

Nice reply. But is Gluezilla really 'normally so thoughtful'? Or is that a dig?

Notafoodbabyanymore Fri 02-Aug-13 00:57:22

Horry that fb page made me giggle, as did the random use of "fingers".

I am quite childish.

Tidy I think your response was great and look forward to seeing if you hear anything back.

BeyonceCastle Fri 02-Aug-13 02:39:46

Now there was a time, when I used to say, that behind every glue bride there had to be a sane reason
But in these times of Zilla we know that it's no longer true
So I'm comin' out of my lurking 'cause there's something I forgot to say to you
I say, "Sister is doin' it for herself
Standin' on her own two feet ladder and decoratin' with twee bells
I say, "Sister is doin' it for herself

Now this is a song, to celebrate, the conscious saving of date just to decorate
Mothers, daughters and their daughters too
Bridezilla's asked them all cos she's high on glue
The inferior F she wants a new interior
She hurt Tidy Dancer, 19 others too

Everybody
take a look around
Can you see, can you see, can you see a Mumsnetter right next to you

We say, "Sister is doin' it for herself
Standin' on a two foot ladder and decoratin' with twee bells
We say, "Sister is doin' it for herself... wink

Hello tidy
Good reply. Can't believe Sister has sent that mail - she must be being mithered by ZilliPish to sort out the deco/or guilt you into it.
gecko deco lizards the pair of them grin

Stay strong Luke Tidy and as Zammo and Gluezilla should have done, continue to Just Say No.

realizes noone born after 1986 will have the foggiest what I'm talking about

MrsKoala Fri 02-Aug-13 03:21:23

grin

I once picked up Zammo's Ice cream which he dropped in the queue for the Cinema in Croydon. I handed it back to him and he said thanks. I know, I know 'why haven't i shared this vital info before'? you are all shrieking. But just for a while i wanted to be just like the rest of you ordinary people. I know now i'll never be truly as ordinary as you, but it was nice to be anonymous for a while. It's okay, you can still talk to me, just as a superior now. I'll always be fond of the little people.

GoodMorningMoon Fri 02-Aug-13 03:36:45

Amazing reply Tidy.

This is going to be a good read when I get back from holiday.

ah hell, no sense in packing a book

ArrowofApollo Fri 02-Aug-13 07:36:31

Great reply.
Awaiting response grin

GoodtoBetter Fri 02-Aug-13 07:39:20

great response.

FruOla Fri 02-Aug-13 07:42:41

It would be nice to think that the sister was as much in the dark about this as Tidy thinks she probably was. At least she'll look at Tidy's response with 'fresh eyes' and, hopefully, be able to talk some sense into Gluezilla.

<ARF> FGetsMarried grin

pigletmania Fri 02-Aug-13 07:50:07

Really tidy your too gracious. I would not want anything to do with bridezilla after this, let alone view her photos. She has shown that she does not value you as a friend, and does not really care about you, why would you want to know someone like that! I know yo have known her for a long time, but really even long term relationships break up! Move on

Wow Tidy you're reply was lovely, far more than glue deserved but I suppose you don't know how much the sister knows so perfectly worded for her.

grin Beyonce

ZillionChocolate Fri 02-Aug-13 08:01:41

What with this and the recent wedding cake thread, should Mumnset be publishing a book of wedding etiquette to rival Debrett's?

Good reply Tiny - clear unambiguous and (hopefully) final, and well done for asking to see the photos so we can play bingo with the decorations. I reckon a wishing tree/ well.

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Fri 02-Aug-13 08:05:05

Did you erally MrsK? And did he eat it off the floor??
Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

diddl Fri 02-Aug-13 08:12:24

Well I've only just found you-& you're 9 pages in & the reply sent!

Where was my invitation-or even STD card??!!grin

I missed thread 2, but on tenterhooks for gluesister to reply!

KoalaFace Fri 02-Aug-13 08:26:00

Thread 3?! Wow.

I liked your reply! You could show the whole series of messages to absolutely anyone and not be embarrassed. I'll bet Gluezilla wouldn't. In fact she obviously was very vague with her sister or she wouldn't have had to email you.

If I was Gluezilla an really believed I was in the right I'd have shown DS the emails and said "isn't Tidy mean?" But se didn't because she knows!

Good reply. Marking my place on the new thread. Looking forward to the next instalment in gluezilla.

RappyNash Fri 02-Aug-13 08:30:02

Ooh, here we all are.

HolidayArmadillo Fri 02-Aug-13 08:40:59

I love this thread (s).

thistlelicker Fri 02-Aug-13 08:44:11

Ok I'm on nights and just off to bed! Op-very proud of the dignified stance and glad u won't be pressured into doing that gluey lady wants! Have a nice day I'm off to sleep:-)

Three threads - I am stunned :-)

Nice reply to the sister. Can't wait to see what (if any) reply you get Tidy.

Highly entertaining none the less.

flatmum Fri 02-Aug-13 09:01:15

any reply from sister? I have read all 3 threads and am still astounded someone would ask an old friend to decorate their wedding venue ie trust them enough for that but not invite then to the wedding, even just the evening. did she invite you to the hen do?

youarewinning Fri 02-Aug-13 09:05:49

grin * Horry fb page and Fgetsmarried - genius post!

DidoTheDodo Fri 02-Aug-13 09:06:59

I'm in!
Shameless place marking. Now off to read update.

AaDB Fri 02-Aug-13 09:12:56

Any more "glue is very upset nonsense" and I'd respond with another poster's comment about how rude it is to ask for a massive favour immediately after demonstrating how little the friendship means.

TweedWasSoLastYear Fri 02-Aug-13 09:17:46

Was the STD card sent out to other friends who could also be helpful in other weddding necessities? Like friend #3 who is handy with a camera , and friend #5 who is a dab hand with the Fondant Icing, plus friend #8 who has a naice car?
All your wedding 'essentials' covered by friends and acquaintences who have a free day as they were/are exspecting a formal invite to the wedding
Surely though, the STD card can't have been for the same day/date as the actual wedding ? The venue would need decorating the day before as there isnt enough time on the day itself.

I have been to a wedding where I didn't attend the ceremony , and cooked all afternoon for the guests . I was asked and was happy to do so , and got to enjoy the party afterwards , which was way more fun than the church bit.

Maybe Slyvian figurine based sock puppets could be placed in the church and the venue , peeping round pillars and out from behind flower displays?

Cuddlydragon Fri 02-Aug-13 09:20:42

Fabulous reply but I'd find it hard to resist linking the threads tbh.

IceNoSlice Fri 02-Aug-13 09:26:52

Tidy reply, Tidy.
I'll get me coat.

FruOla Fri 02-Aug-13 09:27:19

Tweed the STD cards were for the actual wedding itself, then 20 odd of them discovered that they weren't being invited after all - so, at the time she sent the cards out, it wasn't about expecting Tidy to be available the day before as well.

The request to Tidy only came a couple of weeks back.

YoniMatopoeia Fri 02-Aug-13 09:39:47

This is compulsive reading

( not marking place, oh no, not at all)

Pigsmummy Fri 02-Aug-13 09:51:14

Send some glue as a wedding gift?

Whathaveiforgottentoday Fri 02-Aug-13 10:03:54

just marking place
going away for the weekend so will have to wait until Monday to find out what happened.
nice reply Tidy

HMG83 Fri 02-Aug-13 10:09:19

Found you all!

Nice reply Tidy. I wonder what's being discussed between sister and gluezilla now?!

SerotoninCanEatTomorrow Fri 02-Aug-13 10:12:35

On tenterhooks right now - this could be the new obsession! grin

TweedWasSoLastYear Fri 02-Aug-13 10:13:32

FruOla
Right , I get that , That was mostly Thread#1 wasnt it. Tidy was asked months ago to STD , expecting a formal invite to follow which never came

. Then Gluey wanted Tidy to book a day off work and pay for childcare ( nice double whammy of earning nothing and paying for childcare ) so she could decorate a venue for a wedding that she had effectively been uninvited to.

Now Gluey is upsetzilla and doesnt see any reason why and has got sisterzilla involved as well . in a nutshell.

mindyourownbusiness Fri 02-Aug-13 10:16:46

You're actually going away for the weekend Whathavelforgotten ???? hmm

Lightweight !!!! grin

DreamingofSummer Fri 02-Aug-13 10:18:16

Classy reply Tidy! Moral high ground held securely

FruOla Fri 02-Aug-13 10:27:03

blush Sorry, Tweed, I thought you meant did Gluezilla ask Tidy to STD, some months back, for the day before as well grin

Shamelessly marks place.

I like your reply to Gluezilla's sister.

fab reply tidy. well done. i really hope sister replies... i think it would be rather deflating if she doesnt!

anyone else hoping it reaches thread no.4? blush grin

ArkadyRose Fri 02-Aug-13 10:36:17

I don't know if anyone here follows the CaptainAwkward.com blog, but I'm thinking an African Violet would be the perfect wedding gift. grin

jamdonut Fri 02-Aug-13 10:46:09

This thread is the best ever!...waiting with bated breath!

chickenfactory Fri 02-Aug-13 11:25:15

Is gluezilla decorating her venue on the morning of her wedding? So actually 'help' decorate would probably have become 'you're doing a great job tidy, keep going, I'm just away to get ready'

Whathaveiforgottentoday Fri 02-Aug-13 11:28:17

mindyourownbusiness I know, quite reluctant to go in case I miss the reply from the sister. Do you think my DH will understand if I cancel so I can stay in and log onto Mumsnet every hour to see if there is a reply yet.

NatashaBee Fri 02-Aug-13 11:38:25

Placemarking!

FunLovinBunster Fri 02-Aug-13 12:10:41

I didn't know cuntworm tendencies could be passed genetically.
I shall inform the Lancet immediately.

Good on you Tidy.

QueenStromba Fri 02-Aug-13 12:15:58

This must be the longest non-quiche thread ever at this point.

Is anyone else going to be really disappointed if the sister turns out to be sane and makes gluezilla apologise for being so rude?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 02-Aug-13 12:23:03

'then there are some cousins and aunties who could harrass you on my behalf.' grin

Lovely response, Tidy.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 02-Aug-13 12:43:15

perfect reply tidy to sister- dignified and precise

wonder if mother of the bride will reply next or even the groom grin

Trigglesx Fri 02-Aug-13 13:24:01

No, won't be disappointed if sister turns out to be sane and makes her apologise for being rude. After all, as much entertainment as it's provided, it's still something Tidy has to deal with IRL. So it'd be nice to see things smoothed over.

mistlethrush Fri 02-Aug-13 13:29:18

I wonder whether the Sister's thinking 'I thought that's what happened' now to herself... grin

I have a feeling that glue sister will probably just realised what gluezilla has done, but wont have a hope in hell of convincing gluezilla that she is in the wrong. The only hope is that she may show gluezilla what a twat she's been later on and gluezilla may apologise

SanityClause Fri 02-Aug-13 14:01:07

For the person that asked about bookmarking -

If you are on a computer, hover over the post you want to bookmark, and a box that says "Bookmark" will appear. Click on it, and it will show "Saving" and then "Saved".

If you are on the mobile site (not the app) the "Bookmark" box is at the bottom of each post.

I'm not sure if you can bookmark on the app.

What happens is that the next time you open the thread, it jumps straight to the bookmark. However, the bookmark does seem to disappear if you move backwards in the thread (to check previous pages).

It means you don't have to find something witty to say everytime you want to mark your place!

DameFanny Fri 02-Aug-13 14:13:17

Sister sounds nicer than bride to me. Could be the start of a much nicer friendship...

Why yes, I am placemarking, how could you tell?

FruOla Fri 02-Aug-13 15:34:29

I really, really, really want the sister to be nice and sensible - and talk some sense into Gluezilla!

ginslinger Fri 02-Aug-13 15:39:21

I have spent most of this afternoon reading all the way back through the threads. It is the best investment of time I've ever made.

WaitMonkey Fri 02-Aug-13 15:39:29

not marking my place at all

Talkinpeace Fri 02-Aug-13 16:10:39

threads like this are rather like the DM website.
We know we shouldn't but we just cant help ourselves grin

ThisLittlePiggie Fri 02-Aug-13 16:14:00

Delurking to say:

Brilliant post Beyonce

You made me teasplurt grin

DoudousDoor Fri 02-Aug-13 16:14:49

Does your DH knew her future DH? Maybe he'll get ropped into forcing asking you to decorate....

Inertia Fri 02-Aug-13 16:21:01

Good email Tidy- I think you are right to explain the facts clearly, because I'd put money on Gluezilla wailing to everyone she knows that you've let her down at the last minute.

SunnyIntervals Fri 02-Aug-13 16:25:39

Very good reply!

AncientCrone Fri 02-Aug-13 17:12:43

I am hoping the sister is quicker at replying than GZ.

I also hope that GZ has the mirror thread to this somewhere where a mad army of bridezillas are helping her compose replies to Tidy smile

RaspberrySchnapps Fri 02-Aug-13 18:12:38

imagining conversation this evening between Gluesister and Gluezilla and hoping its along the lines of
"is this true, what you have done to TidyDancer? have a word with yourself, you selfish, inconsiderate nitwit"
Gluezilla "you're right, but without Tidy to help decorate the venue, my wedding will be ruined. I may as well cancel"
Gluesister bitch slaps Gluezilla upside the head. Gluezilla decides to go ahead after all, but trails up the aisle with her dress caught in the back of her knickers grin.

IrisWildthyme Fri 02-Aug-13 18:39:01

nanny it's easy enough to get the updates, just click "show all messages" then use the "find" function in your browser to find the OP's posts. catching up takes all of 4 minutes.

Ok I have caught up!

I would be so tempted to offer the help, the pull out the day before! But I'm mean like that!

nannynewo Fri 02-Aug-13 20:17:51

IrisWildthyme Thank you!!!! I will try it out now...still getting to grips with all the technical stuff on this website! And there's me been scrolling down the whole time :P

spg1983 Fri 02-Aug-13 20:42:35

Love love love this thread - Tidy you have acted with such dignity throughout.

My prediction for the outcome of the email to Sisterzilla... Sisterzilla will agree that Gluezilla is being totally out of order and kind of suspected this, hence the email to Tidy to find out the full situation...but although she agrees with Tidy's reasons, Sisterzilla will still try to convince Tidy to help out "just this once" as maybe Gluezilla has been let down by someone else and is only acting like this because she's totally stuck and only the amazing Tidy can make things better, and then Gluezilla and Sisterzilla will promise to live Tidy forevermore.

I'm probably totally wrong but just thought I'd throw that one in there!

spg1983 Fri 02-Aug-13 20:43:22

Oops - love Tidy forevermore. Typing fail! smile

MammaTJ Fri 02-Aug-13 20:54:39

Wonder what the reply will be!

TidyDancer Fri 02-Aug-13 21:19:20

Hello all!

Thank you for the nice comments, you are all very lovely!

Just checking in to say nothing from the sister yet. Will let you know as soon as anything comes (if it does)! smile

nkf Fri 02-Aug-13 21:21:47

It will be awful if she does apologise and then asks her to decorate and then invites her to the wedding.

Cookingmonster Fri 02-Aug-13 21:22:43

Damn! Doesn't Sisterzilla know that there are about 9 million people waiting for her response? Some people are just plain selfish!

Sickofthesnow Fri 02-Aug-13 21:24:38

Been lurking on all 3 threads now and have to say the initial cheek from "Gluezilla" was one thing, but to get the sister messaging now is just nuts!

FruOla Fri 02-Aug-13 21:41:19

I hope suspect the sensible sister is currently giving Gluezilla a piece of her mind.

CamperWidow Fri 02-Aug-13 21:51:34

Come on glue-sister.......reply!!!!

tigerdriverII Fri 02-Aug-13 21:58:59

Gluezilla. Just the best monicker ever!!!!

CrapBag Fri 02-Aug-13 22:00:12

Damn the no reply, does she not know there are many random strangers waiting for an update this is in no way me marking my place grin

What if it turns out that sister has had major input into organisation of Bridezilla's wedding, and it transpires that she was the one who came up with the 'save the date' cards AND for Tidy to decorate the hall? So now Bridezilla has told sister to get things sorted with Tidy?? don't really think this is the case, just coming up with a few conspiracy theories to while away the time until the next update

pigletmania Fri 02-Aug-13 22:13:01

I think it would have been easier to tell bridezilla initially from the outset tat you could not decorate as you were busy that day

AaDB Fri 02-Aug-13 22:17:57

OP was only asked to decorate two weeks ago. This was after it was confirmed there would be no wedding invitation.

AnneofGreenFables Fri 02-Aug-13 22:29:09

I agree with spg1983 sisterzilla will agree that Gluey is mad as a box of frogs but still ask Tidy to please do it just this once etc

Stand firm, no decorating will take place

Now, now, I reckon Gluezilla's sister is obviously on MN and deliberately making you all wait for your update. grin

nilbyname Fri 02-Aug-13 22:58:58

I am on holiday now, and this thread is still demanding my attention! Go tidy tidy!

HoikyPoiky Fri 02-Aug-13 23:24:26

What's with all the parties in this saga taking so long to reply to one another's texts and emails. confused. I know Tidy deliberately kept GlueZilla waiting but in my world people usually respond very quickly?

Its weird.

pigletmania Fri 02-Aug-13 23:26:59

Not everyone hoiky

Great reply Tidy but I'll bet you'll just get another long winded explanation of why you weren't invited.

Gluezilla has missed the point spectacularly, we've no reason to suspect sister has any more sense we can hope not! wink

bringthethunda Fri 02-Aug-13 23:50:37

Tidy for president!

TidyDancer Sat 03-Aug-13 00:57:25

OMG I actually love you all. grin I can't believe you're all still with me through all of this, but I am very appreciative. It's could easily have upset me but you've all made me laugh so much I haven't even been particularly sad about it beyond the initial reaction!

Tbh I quite often take a long time to reply to emails. Texts I reply to straight away, but emails take me longer. I didn't think it that unusual that gluezilla and her sister are similar but maybe I'm wrong?

And FYI, I accept nomination for president and will be campaigning for regular zombie flashmobs and sylvanians themed picnics on the White House lawn. grin

Notafoodbabyanymore Sat 03-Aug-13 01:12:49

Glad all of our silliness has helped distract you from what could have been a very hurtful time. smile

HilariousLotus Sat 03-Aug-13 07:55:13

I have to say you have had some cracking threads in the past like the takeaway one but these wedding ones make me laugh If the sister replies and thinks you should still help I vote we send man with straight jackets and a padded van round smile

mindyourownbusiness Sat 03-Aug-13 08:25:58

Definitely Whathavelforgotten and if he objects just LTB.

grin

DidoTheDodo Sat 03-Aug-13 08:49:04

May I just say I am proud to be a part of these threads and will be putting it prominently on my CV.

Come on Sisterzilla, Gluemum, Stickyaunty or any other family members who wish to get involved....

HoikyPoiky Sat 03-Aug-13 09:44:19

I guess I am forgetting. blush If you have little DCs and/or you work then you can almost literally not get a moment to yourself so I shouldn't be suprised that people don't answer texts and emails quickly. I always have my smart phone with me so tend to keep on top of things but I know not everyone can do this.

FruOla Sat 03-Aug-13 10:04:12

I like your conspiracy theory EachAndEveryHighway grin

TidyDancer Sat 03-Aug-13 10:04:39

I can only speak for myself, but generally if something is not really urgent and necessitating a reply straight away, I won't give it immediate attention. I have an iPhone and iPad, but I won't drop everything to reply to an email when I have other stuff I'm already doing. smile

Not sure about bridezilla and sister though!

QuintessentiallyOhDear Sat 03-Aug-13 10:11:15

Tidy, thank you for your predicament. wink

It was a lifesaver to log on last night to see your third installment, it was 2 am my time, and dh was still not home from mountain biking in the mountains. It took my mind of it. In fact your thread has possibly prevented me from mobilizing the police, red cross and a helicopter or two, needlessly. In fact, your thread has saved Norway gazillions in unnecessary rescue costs. Thank you.

<curtsies>

MintyChops Sat 03-Aug-13 10:23:47

No!!!!! Just found this yesterday and have spent all evening, late into the night and this morning catching up. Tidy you are a model of restraint, HOW did you resist sending "Dear Bitch, are you on glue?".

I'm betting as well that the sister will come back all reasonable and oh yes Tidy I understand but the pressure The PRESSURE of being sent to Betty Ford of the wedding has unhinged Gluey, please help just this once, etc etc.

toldmywrath Sat 03-Aug-13 11:04:53

Quint It seems that not only is Tidy keeping us all enthralled but now she is performing potential sterling economic work for the Norwegian govt.
smile

QuintessentiallyOhDear Sat 03-Aug-13 11:16:25

She is a true secret hero, undercover international economic restraint officer. grin

comingintomyown Sat 03-Aug-13 11:32:00

I have to say I almost found myself asking Is Tidy being a bit mean here such is the power of Bridezilladomn grin

Well lets see what the sister has to say about it all , she may be suffering at the hands of F as well

laeiou Sat 03-Aug-13 13:14:26

tidy-
I hope that sister replies saying she didn't know what had happened, blah blah assumed you pulled out of attending and sister was upset about a good friend not attending, apologises on behalf of gluey and leaves it at that. However, I think sister probably knows that you aren't invited and that the upset is related to you "being essential" to gluey having the princess-for-a-day wedding she has always dreamed of.

If sister asks you to reconsider decorating will you stand firm? I think your explanation to sister was fab and should be quite enough, but I suspect it won't end here.

Beastofburden Sat 03-Aug-13 13:52:42

You do realise that one day gluezilla will get married and it will all be over. We need a contingency plan,,,,

Anything yet?

MrsKoala Sat 03-Aug-13 14:26:52

Gluebaby baby shower. Gluebaby naming ceremony. I think it may become a franchise.

Altho i jest, but sadly given the increase of these threads and the recent Wedding invitations i have received, i don't think we will ever be without wedding behaviour astonishment.

TidyDancer Sat 03-Aug-13 14:40:22

Nothing yet.

Keep your fingers crossed! grin

I'm hoping gluezilla sister is giving her an earful about how she has treated Tidydancer.

onedev Sat 03-Aug-13 15:46:09

I don't think the sister will reply as she's not likely to bad mouth her sister, regardless of what she thinks & certainly not in an email, so what can she say.

Hopefully she'll have spoken to get sister though & explained just how out of order & hurtful she has been.

Bullygirl Sat 03-Aug-13 15:51:01

Am loving this one. Everyone is so funny and so supportive. Tidyyou are one classy lady. And BeyonceCastle funny and clever lyrics. And Jim I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to look at a Sylvanian Family toy without smiling to myself about a certain Gluezilla again. Hoping that sisterzilla is sane.smile

SilverOldie Sat 03-Aug-13 16:49:11

Wanders in, no reply from Gluezilla's sister, wanders out again.

Not marking my place, oh no.

qazxc Sat 03-Aug-13 17:16:47

Any word? How rude! does she not know we are all lurking waiting for a response or an email from parentzillas as to why mean tidy is upsetting their little princess.

laeiou Sat 03-Aug-13 17:28:01

I think gluey and sister are thinking about how to respond in a way that gets Tidy to do the decorating.

Gluey favours a "how dare you refuse, you're lucky to be involved" approach.
Sister will seem apologetic but will lay on the emotional blackmail.
Both want Tidy to decorate.

shellbot Sat 03-Aug-13 17:30:17

I think sister will come back and try to guilt trip you into doing the decorating. After all it's bride's big day and you don't want it to be spoiled do you etc etc.

Here's hoping that you stand firm if she does.

Sister77 Sat 03-Aug-13 18:14:24

Place marking! Or making place settings for gluezilla!

TidyDancer Sat 03-Aug-13 18:21:40

No nothing yet.

I really couldn't tell from the sister whether she was genuinely asking what was going on, or if it was more of knowing the story but not believing how selfish I was blah blah blah.

DevastatedD0G Sat 03-Aug-13 18:23:01

<<Shamelessly marks place>>

Wanders out

It's a weird one. You really can't tell from the email whether she's fishing with bias or without.

It's going to be very awkward for her if she decides she believes you, because that means acknowledging her sister is being a dick though...

I hope you get an understanding reply.

TidyDancer Sat 03-Aug-13 18:27:44

Yeah that's the trouble TeWi. I have no idea what kind of reply I could get regardless of how she feels. I suspect that if she understands how badly her sister has behaved, she won't reply. Which is annoying, obviously!

We shall see!

laeiou Sat 03-Aug-13 18:35:38

Maybe they're looking into other options for the decorating before they decide how to reply.

I hope you get an apology.

FruOla Sat 03-Aug-13 18:36:52

Despite the fact that this has been a most bizarre and unpleasant episode for Tidy (which hasn't finished yet anyway), I'm beginning to think that the poor, but hopefully, sensible sister is actually stuck in a far worse place than Tidy is now.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sat 03-Aug-13 18:42:12

Also shamelessly marking place...

PeriodFeatures Sat 03-Aug-13 18:50:09

Please can you email her and say actually you will do it...then perhaps pull out in a few days?

What you could do in this time is suggest some really outlandish and bad taste decoration styles. Turn up with some objects you are going to use for decorations and leave them in gluezillas house? We could all perhaps help you with those ideas?

It would really help me. This is the most entertaining time off work i've had in a really long time grin

sorry i'm evil

FunLovinBunster Sat 03-Aug-13 19:05:06

I too think you should cave in and decorate.
By staging a dirty protest all over the wedding venue.

MintyChops Sat 03-Aug-13 19:11:37

Bunster, what about a mumsnet flash-mob dirty protest?

BurningAsh Sat 03-Aug-13 19:17:39

Saw Sylvanian's whilst shopping yesterday and started imagining them in a wedding venue

PeriodFeatures Sat 03-Aug-13 19:20:06

What about a mumsnet flashmob sylvanians protest smile

TidyDancer Sat 03-Aug-13 19:22:25

Can we get adult sized sylvanians costumes?

Happy to bribe DP to join in. grin

FunLovinBunster Sat 03-Aug-13 19:22:44

A MN flashmob dirty protest, with Sylvanians stuck in our shit, please Madame TidyDancer.
I'm in.
Who else??

SlimePrincess Sat 03-Aug-13 19:28:51

I think we can. We might need to look on websites catering to furries and otherkins and wossnames. But I'm sure we could get them grin

SlimePrincess Sat 03-Aug-13 19:31:05

I'm in FunlovinBunster! I think we should be gangsta sylvanians though.

TidyDancer Sat 03-Aug-13 19:32:13

See, in my head we wouldn't just randomly show up on the day, we'd do it in shifts. In the days leading up to the wedding, adult sized Sylvanians would start appearing in odd places the bride would be in. Pulling up next to her in traffic, sitting in the waiting room at the hospital she works out of, illuminated by a street light outside her house at night, etc. grin

Talkinpeace Sat 03-Aug-13 19:34:54

Oh god, I must have drunk too much
a MN flashmob seem so UTTERLY beguiling
we've got 2 weeks to get the tune and choreography sorted
but "put a ring on it" and "stronger" spring to mind

Snapespeare Sat 03-Aug-13 19:37:05

'And FYI, I accept nomination for president and will be campaigning for regular zombie flashmobs and sylvanians themed picnics on the White House lawn'

On the basis of this <delurks> I would quite like to get married in 2016, I think your zombie flashmobs and sylvanian families would be absolutely appropriate for the tone of my day and would the like you to STD (which I always read as 'sexually transmitted disease') for the whole of 2016 (well maybe just July and November)

You are a star OP.

normaleggy Sat 03-Aug-13 19:40:24

I would never be so crass as to post a comment just to mark my place.

Never.

Cerisier Sat 03-Aug-13 19:40:25

Another one hoping for a response from the sister. You never know it could even be an apology...

If she's a relative of Gluezilla, I doubt it.

RenterNomad Sat 03-Aug-13 20:30:45

You never know: the sister might be driven to madness by Gluezilla, too, such that their shared blood will melt into water and allow her to join in with the Sylvanian madness, too...

MintyChops Sat 03-Aug-13 20:40:52

I'm in but will need to get some Sylvanian thingies and FILTH them

(worries about self)
(pours more wine)
(feels better)

magimedi Sat 03-Aug-13 20:44:33

I am up for being a Sylvanian & might even go so far as to NC to a bit of Silvania!

(But I am taken with wine atm. )

FriskyHenderson Sat 03-Aug-13 20:54:48

I fear it's a fine line between Sylvanian bunny outfits and the Donnie Darko rabbit nightmares grin

SlimePrincess Sat 03-Aug-13 21:23:25

O yeah! Was that bunny called Frank? Or is that just my imagination?

Geographically, I'm out of the Sylvanian plan. sad

SanityClause Sat 03-Aug-13 21:49:30
TidyDancer Sat 03-Aug-13 21:58:24

Close enough Sanity. I want the crocodile!

Nadalsballs Sat 03-Aug-13 21:59:25

Shamelessly marking my place with baited breath! Go tidy!

IceNoSlice Sat 03-Aug-13 22:06:14

.

Quidgetmidget Sat 03-Aug-13 22:14:11

.

PerchedOnMyPeddleStool Sat 03-Aug-13 22:15:21

Giant sylvanians.
I'm scared...

Also laughing my head off at the idea grin

Baggsy me to be Mrs Weasel smile
I like your plan, it has whimsy and bonkersness in equal measure.

fuckwittery Sat 03-Aug-13 22:35:03

Marking place for sister reply, just read all three threads!

pointythings Sat 03-Aug-13 22:57:41

Just caught up on these threads, and am gutted the lobster costume won't fit me as I'm too tall. sad

Tidy you should not only be President, you should also be God(dess).

ChunkyChicken Sat 03-Aug-13 23:03:57

Feel like I should defend myself whilst I de-lurk/mark my spot...

I did use STD cards BUT appropriately.

I did have someone not invited decorate the venue BUT she volunteered. And I sent a proper thank you note etc.

I did go on Confetti & Hitched or whatever sites BUT hopefully retained my sense of perspective & gaffawed at many of the bizarre ideas. Like spending £90 on a tiara to wear in my hair for 1 day when one from Claires or Accesorize worked as well... And NEVER went on the forums.

Oh and one of my friends who had been asked to do a reading dropped out on morning of the wedding sad

Anyway...

<gets comfy awaiting further developments>

WherewasHonahLee Sat 03-Aug-13 23:28:11

I'm worried there will be no further response from either GlueSniffer or her sis, and then where will that leave us?

I've lurked long enough. Well done Tidy. smile

FunLovinBunster Sun 04-Aug-13 00:04:13

STD cards
Who the fuck does this?
(Apart from my DB and his now Chavzilla wife.
Not only did they do STD cards.
Their invites had the wishing well poem/demand for cash.
They got married in a hotel that closely resembled Crossroads Motel.
And don't get me started on Chavzilla's bridesmaid dress hysterics involving my DD...)
Hate weddings. Should have arranged MN sylvanian dirty protest flashmob for theirs too...
In fact MN should outlaw STD cards. Punishment for breaking this rule is MN dirty protest Sylvanian flashmob...

Ezio Sun 04-Aug-13 00:20:35

Im so glad my sister wasnt a Bridezilla, she was getting bored of her own wedding before it even happened.

bringthethunda Sun 04-Aug-13 00:38:29

Just back from my first night out without baby (after 8 months) and not sure if it's the drink but the updates re sylvanian families have me pissing myself laughing. I see it as a Swedish kind of film noir, shot in black and white, and the smell of superglue and rage pumped into the audience for the whole experience

WhiteandGreen Sun 04-Aug-13 01:23:16

And we're accusing these people on Confetti of being maniacs confused

Notafoodbabyanymore Sun 04-Aug-13 04:22:44

Tidy, your idea is hilarious. I've just been giggling away to myself imagining her going about her daily business surrounded by life-sized sylvanians, wondering wtf is going on.

Thumbwitch Sun 04-Aug-13 04:46:28

Found you! Wondered what was happening...

SlightlyItchyBraStrap Sun 04-Aug-13 06:29:55

So glad I finally figured out how to highlight the ops posts! Makes it a lot easier keeping up with LOTR trilogy sized threads like this.

FiftyShadesofGreyMatter Sun 04-Aug-13 07:44:32

Delurking to wait with bated breath for a reply, come on sisterzilla!

Nothing to do with place marking, as if I would!

ArrowofApollo Sun 04-Aug-13 07:49:16

I used STD cards but it was because most people were travelling at least 2 hours to get to the wedding venue (in the city near where DH and I lived) and we wanted to make sure that our closest friends and relatives could definitely make it - we actually changed the date by a week to accommodate my Uncle and Aunt because it was important for me to have him there. And I had to arrange accommodation for everyone as I managed to negotiate a big discount rate at a nearby premier inn.
it was important to me to take as ,much stress out of going for my guests as possible as if they were having a good time so were we.
I did ask for Argos vouchers though but there was no poem grin and everyone got individual thank you letters no matter what they gave. I was actually astonished at how generous people were. only 2 people didn't give vouchers, they both brought a lovely gift which we grateful for. Tbh I don't get offended by wish lists or asks for cash and vouchers, frankly it makes it easier for me and I only spend what I can afford.
I think it is telling that 10 years on I still have friends and family tell me how ,much they enjoyed our wedding smile

CamperWidow Sun 04-Aug-13 08:55:00

Shamelessly marking place. Come on....reply damn you!!!

I used STD cards but it was 6 years ago and we got married on a Friday which was virtually unheard of then.

helenthemadex Sun 04-Aug-13 09:55:52

I cant believe she is keeping us waiting, so inconsiderate

TidyDancer Sun 04-Aug-13 10:52:25

Afraid to say still nothing wrt a reply. sad

The suspense is a killer!

LisaMed Sun 04-Aug-13 10:57:21

Gluezilla's sister may be too embarrassed to ever reply.

FruOla Sun 04-Aug-13 11:00:46

I fear you might be right Lisa. Or maybe she's trying to persuade Gluezilla to apologise to Tidy?

if I were gluesister I'd at least try to cover with a 'I must have gotten the wrong end of the stick, sorry to bother you tidy' email.

clam Sun 04-Aug-13 11:15:16

I wouldn't be expecting a reply to be honest. She asked what was going on; you told her. End of story.

MintyChops Sun 04-Aug-13 11:24:32

If Gluezilla's sister doesn't reply then it's clear that rudeness and twattery run in the family.....

Mimishimi Sun 04-Aug-13 11:25:22

I wouldn't be expecting a reply to be honest. She asked what was going on; you told her. End of story.

Sadly I agree with this. Sigh...they'll hire someone to decorate ... but they might try to hit up the other STD non-invitees for freebies nonetheless. Might be worth getting the word out..

RenterNomad Sun 04-Aug-13 12:57:08

" If Gluezilla's sister doesn't reply then it's clear that rudeness and twattery run in the family....."

Not sure about this! The sister, if she agrees with Tidy, is in an awkward position, and it might be least-said-soonest-mended for her to just shut up or, at best, tell Gluezilla off privately but not humiliate her publicly on MN.

MintyChops Sun 04-Aug-13 13:46:33

Well the sister has involved herself in what she knew was a situation which had upset Gluesilla. I think Tidy's email to her deserves some sort of response if only to say something like "Oh, sorry, sounds like something you and Glue need to sort out". To ignore it would be twatty and rude IMO.

Beastofburden Sun 04-Aug-13 15:21:11

Hehe yes we can have a franchise mrsK. Gluezilla honeymoon is the place to start. Will join in the sylvanian stalking, not dirty protest tho, too much like home life.

I think glue siblings are trying to see if they can find someone else to decorate, before deciding how much they need to grovel to tidy.

Neighbourhoodwatchbitch Sun 04-Aug-13 16:01:09

I'm so desperate for the sister to reply...!

This better than eastenders!!!!

Notafoodbabyanymore Sun 04-Aug-13 16:04:39

I really hope this works...

Think this is the guy we need

Notafoodbabyanymore Sun 04-Aug-13 16:05:32

Yay!!! Did my first linky thing on my phone!

mindyourownbusiness Sun 04-Aug-13 16:31:33

Notafoodbabyanymore please do not start another post with the word 'Yay!!!!'

I have just leapt out of another thread thinking 'Oh yes, this is it, ere we go then, Sisterzilla has replied'

Only to find it's you jumping up and down about a linky on your phone.

<skulks back out of thread>

mindyourownbusiness Sun 04-Aug-13 16:32:40

grin - sorry forgot to insert one of these to indicate non arsey post.

Notafoodbabyanymore Sun 04-Aug-13 16:53:30

Haha... sorry, mindyourownbusiness . Can I call you Mindy for short? Small things amuse small minds and it's late at night here. Didn't mean to raise false hopes.

<hangs head in shame>

mindyourownbusiness Sun 04-Aug-13 17:07:11

I'll let you off seeing as it's you!! Yes 'Mindy' will do fine l been called worse on here grin

Notafoodbabyanymore Sun 04-Aug-13 17:26:41

grin

IceNoSlice Sun 04-Aug-13 20:21:01

Careful, someone called someone a 'Mindy' the other day when they meant 'Wendy'. You don't want people to think you're a Wendy!

RenterNomad Sun 04-Aug-13 20:49:04

Minty, that would indeed be a good response by the sister. Very tactful! Not sure we can know she's that smooth-tongued, though, which us a great pity. Don't suppose you're up for a spot of sock-puppeting? grin

NamelessMcNally Sun 04-Aug-13 21:40:02

My poor weans are running feral - found this thread today and kind of inhaled the whole thing whilst ignoring them. Oops.

Tidy - could you send an email to gluesister along the lines of "Well, do you really intend to make no comment". Cant face this being the end.

Off to confetti.

poorbuthappy Sun 04-Aug-13 21:51:15

Bollocks no reply yet?
Although I doubt the sis will reply...cos if i was her, i would be bollocking my gluezilla of a sister to next week and back for being so damn rude.

Ah well at least I've marked my place.

2rebecca Sun 04-Aug-13 22:12:49

She might not reply.

gutzgutz Sun 04-Aug-13 22:47:04

.

ScrambledSmegs Sun 04-Aug-13 23:23:38

I doubt she will reply. If she's taken this long to respond then I think Tidy's instincts are correct - there won't be a response as she knows her sister has been overcome by the wedding crazies.

MintyChops Mon 05-Aug-13 00:00:03

Sister won't reply........or will she?

(Wishes knew ins and outs of sock puppetry as might make the waiting fun...... Casts glance at Renter)

thistlelicker Mon 05-Aug-13 01:56:16

Still waiting for sister reply?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 05-Aug-13 02:26:16

I don't think she'll reply, or if she does it'll be "thanks for your response" and that's all. Because either she thinks Tidy is being unreasonable, in which case she and Gluezilla are just going to Rise Above and wash their hands of her, good riddance innit - or she thinks her sister is being unreasonable, in which case she's got to go talk to Gluezilla, get their friends involved, have a good bitch with her Mum, and since Tidy has already washed her hands of it all, doesn't need to reply.

Can someone remind me of the glue and sylvanian links please?

FruOla Mon 05-Aug-13 07:31:40

Edwina, someone on Thread 1 suggested that the Bridezilla was "on glue", hence the change of name to Gluezilla - or Glue.

Sylvanian - someone else on Thread 1 suggested that Tidy agrees to decorate the venue, but fills it with Sylvanian Family figures.

grin

Thankyou.

I kind of guessed the glue one.

oops I may have accidentally bookmarked this thread by stealth

Absolutely not marking my place at all, oh no, not me. But fuck me you know some nutters grin

Tilly333 Mon 05-Aug-13 12:19:09

jeez, just been away for the weekend and we have a 3rd thread! bloody fantastic!

SugarMiceInTheRain Mon 05-Aug-13 12:43:00

My guess is that gluesister is too mortified about gluezilla's rudeness/ cheek/ cluelessness to reply - as someone upthread suggested, least said, soonest mended. She probably agrees with Tidy but feels she ought to support her sister.

SarahAndFuck Mon 05-Aug-13 13:39:48

Gluesister should make the effort to reply to all of us Tidy, even if it's just something like "Thanks for getting back to me, I appreciate your reply" and she still wouldn't have to act on anything one way or the other.

She wouldn't have to talk to her sister or take one side or the other. Just acknowledge that she has received Tidy's reply.

It's only polite when you consider that she asked Tidy for her side, to then thank her for taking the time to send it when she really didn't have to.

No matter what Gluesister thinks of it now she has it, she should at least acknowledge she's received it.

SunnyIntervals Mon 05-Aug-13 14:06:50

Come on sulky sister! smile

mindyourownbusiness Mon 05-Aug-13 14:08:13

It must run in the family Sarah using people then just casting them aside (or in Gluezillas case casting them aside then try to use them grin )

DuelingFanjo Mon 05-Aug-13 14:12:27

I have been following your threads and thought I had lost you! Hope you hear something back soon!

DameDeepRedBetty Mon 05-Aug-13 14:48:16

Knew I'd miss a corker while on holiday... it's so nice to be home!

MintyChops Mon 05-Aug-13 15:00:31

Yes yes, the rudeness is clearly genetic. Would it be wrong to encourage Tidy to email again to provoke a reply? Something like "Dear RudeGlueSister, just wondering if you received my earlier email as wanted you to know what a crazy rude loon your sister is have all the facts. Perhaps you could let me know when you have a moment. Regards, Tidy PS hard to see you through the mist from up here on my moral highground but can you tell how many fingers I am holding up?"

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 05-Aug-13 15:24:34

WHERE IS THE SISTER?!??!

mindyourownbusiness Mon 05-Aug-13 15:48:57

Just gave my laptop a coffee spray @ Mintychops 'Dear RudeGlueSister' letter.

The invoice is in the post Minty grin

mindyourownbusiness Mon 05-Aug-13 15:51:34

..and for some reason I could hear your post being read out in Victoria Woods voice hmm. Think it was the 'Yes , yes ' that did it.

MintyChops Mon 05-Aug-13 16:34:39

Sorry mindyourown, if ONLY she would reply we could stop stirring speculating!!

RenterNomad Mon 05-Aug-13 17:06:05

Minty, you know what would make sockpuppeting even more fun is a sockpuppet flashmob! We could replicate the thought-environment inside GlueSister's head, trialling ways to bring it up with Gluezilla, GS's potential responses, revised ways to tell GZ she's being an arse, ways to excuse GZ at the wedding so guests don't bitch about her, ways to bitch with the guests without being caught by GZ, mumzilla, dadzilla or groomzilla....

The MN Hive Mind is made for that sort of thought-experiment!

Mumoftwoyoungkids Mon 05-Aug-13 17:45:17

Does anyone else think Tidy should email the sister (forwarding the original reply) along the lines of

"Hi, Just wanted to check you got my email. Something is up with my computer as several I sent that day never got through."

TidyDancer Mon 05-Aug-13 18:50:06

Hello! I'm here but unfortunately the reply we are looking forward to is not with me!

Hoping for something good soon! smile

MintyChops Mon 05-Aug-13 18:50:56

Yes Renter, this is MADE for the MN Hive Mind...... Perhaps GZ's sister has been taken hostage by GZ or... OH!!!!!! Imagine if it wasn't the sister who had emailed but GZ herself, trying to see what Tidy would say/ whether she would bitch about her. Perhaps that explains the silence, she is disappointed that Tidy is sticking to the facts.

qazxc Mon 05-Aug-13 18:55:31

Maybe Tidy should write back saying that she has reconsidered doing the decorations and start reeming off the decoration/performances discussed on this thread (in a isn't it amazing! tone). gluezilla baiting

Oh whoops, I seem to have stumbled into this thread by accident.

marks place

wink

I'm starting to think no reply as well. Oh well!

I hope the thread(s) cheered you up in your hour of mad gluezillafriend need, tidy.

FruOla Mon 05-Aug-13 19:02:31

She's not going to reply, is she Tidy?

Too embarrassed, I expect. Although I bet she'd love to tell you how gluey her sister is.

At least someone in that family has got her head glued screwed on OK.

RenterNomad Mon 05-Aug-13 19:06:52

Soooo... what about the other non-invited local person ?!

I have read and not commented on any of these threads yet.

I want to know what Gluezilla's sister says! can't believe she hasn't emailed back. I don't drop everything to reply to emails - but this one is about her sister's wedding day!

petuniapickletits Mon 05-Aug-13 19:19:13

gluesister needs to hurry up!

pigletmania Mon 05-Aug-13 19:26:04

Nevermind I personally woul not e mail back, it would only provoke things. Just consider this friendship over

DeeLighted Mon 05-Aug-13 19:51:52

Come on, reply woman!!!

Lazyjaney Mon 05-Aug-13 20:14:34

I think they will try all week to get some others who haven't been as forthright in saying F-Off, not get anyone, and come back next weekend with a grudging apology and a desperate plea. Only 6 days to wait grin

MrsEdinburgh Mon 05-Aug-13 20:15:53

Perhaps Gluezilla's sis hasn't replied yet as she is 'stuck' for words........sorry couldn't resist that.

But honestly this Gluezilla sounds like she's seen so much wedding stuff & it's made her deranged!

KeatsiePie Mon 05-Aug-13 20:26:34

Away for a week and a half and can't believe this is still going!! It's like a welcome-home present.

Tidy your email to the sister was so classy and nice.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 05-Aug-13 23:05:51

Back from holiday and this is still going!

Can't believe she just hasn't replied at all, although it speaks of embarrassment more than anything which in some ways is a good thing!

Tidy you have been so restrained, well done you.

BelleJolie Tue 06-Aug-13 11:06:27

Amazed the sister hasn't replied yet! Unfortunately, I don't think she ever will. She obviously has nothing to say.

TidyDancer Tue 06-Aug-13 17:44:35

Bingo. Finally something, though I think you're all going to be disappointed, as there wasn't much to it!

"Hi [my name],

Thanks for getting back to me, I'm really sorry to hear you feel like that. As I'm sure you understand it's difficult for me because F is upset. She's still hoping you reconsider as she's stuck but I do understand if you can't.

S x"

JessicaBeatriceFletcher Tue 06-Aug-13 17:47:02

She can hope you reconsider until Hell freezes over.

Well, at least it can rest now, there's nothing there that warrants a reply.

Damn, will miss this thread

TheDoctrineOfAllan Tue 06-Aug-13 17:47:51

No apology?!?

Talkinpeace Tue 06-Aug-13 17:47:57

as she's stuck
ROTFLMAOPMPL - serves her right.
You could of course sent her a professionally quoted price for doing the work grin

StrawberryMojito Tue 06-Aug-13 17:50:48

That's a very loyal and sisterly way of saying that she agrees with you but hopes that you will concede as her moaning sister is doing her head in.

Ezio Tue 06-Aug-13 17:51:05

even dont reply or tell her its too short notice for you.

georgedawes Tue 06-Aug-13 17:51:21

I thought they'd still try and get you to do it. Definitely ignore, but I bet that they will be in contact again as the wedding gets nearer.

Nadalsballs Tue 06-Aug-13 17:51:54

She's stuck!??! And that's the reason to reconsider?! Did she not read that email back to herself. It's good that you're shot of them if you ask me.

Reconsider? Why? When Gluezilla has been so rude!

On reflection, I thnk the sis is trying very hard not to give you any hint that she is finding her sister to be a bridezilla. She's making it clear that her sis is stuck and that she is upset, but can "understand if you can't".

Sisterly loyalty but really I would bet she's finding sister is going mental at present.

Beastofburden Tue 06-Aug-13 17:53:01

Hi S,

F can't expect me to decorate a hall for a party she didn't invite me to. It's a shame she's upset but I am afraid I can't reconsider.

NadiaWadia Tue 06-Aug-13 17:53:25

'No I won't be reconsidering as your sister's request is both inappropriate and rude under the circumstances. I thought I had explained this in my previous e-mail. I am sure she will be able to find suitable help elsewhere if she starts looking now'

Ezio Tue 06-Aug-13 17:55:02

Infact, i just wouldnt reply its giving them more chances to give you the sob story in hope you fall for it.

RinseAndRepeat Tue 06-Aug-13 17:55:41

Lol at neither of them addressing the sheer brazen mentalness of the request.

Love how it's being turned around so that it's your fault.

So she's upset is she? Oh dear, maybe she'll treat her friends a bit better next time.

TidyDancer Tue 06-Aug-13 17:55:54

Yes, Strawberry, that's sort of how I read it. I think she wanted to (but couldn't) tell me that she gets it!

Laughing at the idea that she is hoping you will reconsider! Given the length of time they have taken to reply to your email, I suggest she looks for other options pretty damn fast!
Possibly send an email, with a list of wedding venue decorators in the area complete with price lists being a helpful so and so grin

RinseAndRepeat Tue 06-Aug-13 17:56:10

Don't bother replying btw.

Thepowerof3 Tue 06-Aug-13 17:56:14

I would leave it for now.

Yes she upset, but it's all her own doing, you have done nothing wrong.

But I would expect further e mails/texts from her, her sister and her mum. Ignore them all.

I do think that Gluesister understands where you are coming from.

I would politely refuse, something vague like

"I'm sorry but its not possible for me to do this now"

You don't want to get drawn into discussions about why you can't do it. Only you need to know if its not possible because you don't want to do it or not possible because of practical / logistical issues.

p.s.If you do decide to help shall I start looking for Sylvanian family toys on ebay wink

Ezio Tue 06-Aug-13 18:01:33

Send her a link that Power post in an email and thats it.

They might get the message then.

No way! shock

diddl Tue 06-Aug-13 18:04:35

"I don't know why she's upset-I told her asap so that there is plenty of time for other arrangements.

Perhaps she should be looking into this rather than keep bugging me when I have already told her it is not possible for me to be a mug decorate."

That's if you decide to reply, of course.

thistlelicker Tue 06-Aug-13 18:06:05

Oh my days. If a reply was warranted if reply thanking her for her understanding shame her sister could not and you would like now to draw time in this, the wedding decoration and friendship with the self obsessed sister! And ask them formally now not to correspond wit you in anyway ad remind them that
Should you hear any gossip about
This after wedding you will correct these people with the correct information

diddl Tue 06-Aug-13 18:06:05

Or-"why don't you do it, then?"

pigletmania Tue 06-Aug-13 18:06:13

Gosh bridezilla has some nerve, after the way she has treated you, not even a phone call or apology and she still hopes you decorate her venue. Well that friendship is over, put it in te past and move on now, she is nota good friend

GingerBlondecat Tue 06-Aug-13 18:06:35

Ohh,I think she understands, but, at the same time she doesn't want to get attacked by Sniff Da Glue.

Perhaps GlueZilla was peeping over her shoulder, as she wrote the reply to you

RenterNomad Tue 06-Aug-13 18:07:31

"Thanks for your reply, and for understanding.
"Yours,
"Tidy"

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 18:08:20

HA! She wants you to consider because SHE is stuck. Not she sees where you are coming from and is upset because she may have upset you/ruined the friendship. No, she has no one to do it for her so is upset for herself. I can imagine in her head (and to all around) she is going over and over it and just can't see why you wont do it for her. She will never get it. After the wedding she still wont get it.

Don't answer. Just leave it at that. You have explained your position.

Even if you did reconsider she would still think you unreasonable to have stressed her out this much and would probably ditch you after the wedding.

Sister sounds like she's trying to get it sorted for her and being diplomatic.

AnneofGreenFables Tue 06-Aug-13 18:10:41

I would leave it too (despite the fact we'll be slightly bereft without this thread... No? Just me then smile)

The only thing that would make me respond is how can she say she's 'stuck'? You never offered and have said 'no' all along. Why is she pretending she's been relying on you? Unless she is actually so monumentally deluded that she has just presumed you'd give in!!

<wanders off incredulous>

pigletmania Tue 06-Aug-13 18:11:35

She just wants to use you and doesn't see you as a friend. She sounds mad

I would put it to bed with chaz one liner. Although given how you've handled the other emails maybe something like:

Dear gluesister,
Thank you for your understanding.
I am sorry but it is just not possible for me to do this.
Please pass on my best wishes to F, but you may wish to impress upon her the need to look elsewhere for help.
Tidy

TheDoctrineOfAllan Tue 06-Aug-13 18:18:33

I'm glad you understand. Tell F I won't be reconsidering so she should seek professional quotes or help from some of the guests.

Beastofburden Tue 06-Aug-13 18:18:41

It's funny, I am not sure I get why other posters suggest saying its not possible. It's is possible, perhaps, but Tidy isn't going to do it because of the insult of not being invited. Even now I am not quite convinced that gluezilla understands this, though her sister might (can't tell). Isn't that the most important thing for gluezilla to grasp- that she screwed this whole thing up herself by taking tidy for granted and treating her so badly?

FruOla Tue 06-Aug-13 18:21:16

Crikey shock

"That's a very loyal and sisterly way of saying that she agrees with you but hopes that you will concede as her moaning sister is doing her head in." (I totally agree)

My choice would be to not reply.

Enough is finally enough.

StanleyLambchop Tue 06-Aug-13 18:22:20

I agree with Tidy. This is a definite nod to say she knows her sister is utterly bonkers, but loyalty prevents her from actually saying so. I would just back away now and leave them to it!

IrisWildthyme Tue 06-Aug-13 18:22:46

Yes I agree - the sister is clearly (but coded) saying "I completely understand you feeling that way, and don't blame you for it, but I can't say so as I have to deal with my DS moaning, have to at least pretend to be on her side, and have to be able to say that I asked you to reconsider" -

I don't think I would reply at all tbh, but if you do feel you want to reply then something like "Thanks for the reply. There is honestly zero chance of reconsidering so best to encourage GZ to look into professionals who can help if she doesn't have any close friends who she can ask."

beast
I don't think there is any value in trying to hammer home the point to Gluezilla. At least with a vague, its not possible answer, it doesn't give Gluezilla the option of saying Tidy is being petty &sulking and so ruining her day.

Gluezilla doesn't care about how upset Tidy is or how unreasonable she had been right now she is caught up in the red pink mist of wedding preparations.

BalloonSlayer Tue 06-Aug-13 18:22:59

Dear Sister

Thanks for your reply.

I am afraid I won't be re-considering.

I'll confess I am getting weary of hearing how "upset" Gluezilla is, when she has been very rude yet has not acknowledged this at all, let alone apologised.

However none of this is your fault, so I will not get you involved. You have been very kind in attempting to resolve matters, but I think this has gone far enough now.

With all the very best for the big day

Tidy

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 18:23:03

Agree beast, i have said all along i wouldn't be answering with 'not possible' 'other plans' 'childcare' 'inconvenient'. I would be saying i am 'unwilling' and leave it at that. No ambiguity, no if things were different. 'I am not doing it for no other reason than i don't want to - so shove that up your arse!' <maybe not that last bit grin

GlueSister definitely agrees with you and sounds like a MNer to me but is avoiding slagging Gluezilla off completely. GlueSister does not expect Tidy to help but has told Gluezilla she will try just one last time.

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Tue 06-Aug-13 18:26:36

If you reply, keep it short/ neutral.

Dear S,

Thank you for your reply, once again, I wish F all the best for her wedding.

Kind regards

Tidy

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 06-Aug-13 18:27:00

I'm with Nadia and beast, with a few small amendments:

'Dear Loon's Sister
'Loon can't expect me to decorate a hall for a party she didn't invite me to. I explained this in my previous email.

Now fuck off
Best wishes for the wedding
Tidy'

FixItUpChappie Tue 06-Aug-13 18:27:20

I think don't respond at all...you've been clear already. Leave it at that IMO.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 06-Aug-13 18:28:06

Oh, x-posted with Balloon and I LIKE that one!

elQuintoConyo Tue 06-Aug-13 18:28:37

Good lord, I bet there's no glue left in the British Isles! BARKING!

georgetteheyerfan Tue 06-Aug-13 18:29:14

I agree that it may not be clear to them that you 'don't want' to decorate rather than 'can't ' - which might be why she's still trying to push you. Maybe she thinks it's just a matter of you re-arranging your day?

MadBusLady Tue 06-Aug-13 18:35:12

I like Balloon's too, but maybe this is the moment to step out of the madness and just make damn sure everybody who's going knows your version of events.

<goes back to lurking>

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Tue 06-Aug-13 18:37:31

Thank you for your reply, and for understanding why I do not wish to help out. Once again, all the best for the wedding.

Good Luck, Uber Ego!!!

Tidy

diddl Tue 06-Aug-13 18:39:01

But I thought that OP couldn't decorate now anyway due to work/childcare-having unsaved the day when not invited!

MadBusLady Tue 06-Aug-13 18:41:37

Such frivolous details about other people's lives are unlikely to mean anything to Gluezilla at this point. I tend to agree only an "I don't want to decorate your poxy glue-ridden venue you barking thoughtless narcissist" will put a complete end to the communication, but then she's not going to be fair in the ensuing fight either so why give yourself the hassle?

<blatantly does not go back to lurking at all>

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 18:42:10

It depends what you want out of this Tidy. Balloons response is good if you want some resolution. Be aware with this response it looks like you want 'the bride' to aplogise and then you may consider it. She may genuinely, or not, apologise and expect you to do it. So would you then consider it? You wold have emails going back and forth negotiating a compromise of apology for decoration services or somesuch other madness. She may get confused as to why you wanted her to say sorry but still didn't want to help her. In short it could get messy. For entertainment purposes that would be great for us, but not so good for you.

If this is not a resolution you want i wouldn't respond at all. You have made your position clear enough.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 06-Aug-13 18:44:23

Koala, you're not wrong. How about Balloons response with an added 'I reiterate I cannot and will not reconsider.'?

Katisha Tue 06-Aug-13 18:45:38

F is "very upset "? This is just guilt tripping. I bet every other of the GlueFest has been planned within an inch of its life. Why on earth did she decide to leave the decorating of the venue to an ad hoc arrangement/assumption that someone would do it as a favour ?

Unfortunately she will offload her sloppiness about this onto you and make it your fault. I might yet feel inclined to reply with BalloonSlayers suggestion.

Rooners Tue 06-Aug-13 18:47:36

No don't reply. that is an outstanding resolution in itself, and I think to respond further (other than a 'thanks, see you' sort of reply) would be seen as you needing it to continue.

And it really doesn't need to!

Well done - you handled it brilliantly.

Rooners Tue 06-Aug-13 18:48:24

Also - they KNOW you aren't going to reconsider. They can't force you to, or take you to court over it - so further clarification is not necessary.

TidyDancer Tue 06-Aug-13 18:52:28

I'm thinking not relying might be best. Or if I did reply, something extremely bare and plain.

I don't want either of them to think there's any hope of me doing it ultimately!

Thanks again for all the support on this! smile flowers

Rooners Tue 06-Aug-13 18:53:10

We've loved every minute Tidy - it's us wot should be thanking you, rightfully grin

<delurks> I think no response is best. This way, the deluded ones who think you may actually change your mind and do this, are left wondering whether or not you will. When they don't hear from you, how long will it be before one of them GZ, or her sis, actually decide to re-open this and ask you again! Probably not the sis because she does seem to get what's been going on.

GZ has not apologised for hurting your feelings by not inviting you after her demand that you save that date. I mean what the fuck were you supposed to be saving the date for? Neither has she apologised for being so crass and rude as to ask you to do her decorations for the wedding she doesn't think you a close enough friend to invite to!

It will be interesting if she is so thick, and so insensitive and so bloody self centred that she actually request this again. Because she'll need to know whether or not you are agreeing to do this. If she doesn't get a move on her wedding will be undecorated.

No response stops you from having to be involved any further, and it remains to be seen whether GZ is finally able to take 'no' for an answer. (I suspect she's not, and that you'll hear from her with another plea)

After her behaviour, she at least needs to stew for a bit wondering who is going to be blowing up her balloons or whatever...

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 18:55:33

If i had to reply (not that i would), it would be along the lines below.

Dear Sister

Thanks for your reply.

It appears F is upset more because she has no one to decorate for her than because she has behaved rudely and upset me.

I am unsure why she was ever 'relying' on me to do this favour as it had never been agreed or even discussed between us.

I will not be reconsidering.

Tidy

MintyChops Tue 06-Aug-13 18:57:46

Thank you for the best (3) threads ever!!! I'd be inclined to go with Renter's reply and shut them up..... Would love if you sent Balloon's though I can see that might just prolong things which in real life wouldn't be great.

OR

if you want it finished and don't want to hear from them again, a simple reply email back to the sis saying: 'Thanks. Let's say no more about it.'

Dear gluesister
I really won't be helping gluezilla with this. It's a shame that she is upset but she has brought this on herself with her rudeness and presumption. I am not interested in her wedding logistics but wish her all the best in her married life.
Best,
Tidy.

Maryz Tue 06-Aug-13 19:03:38

I'd be inclined to reply.

Just to say "can you shine any light on why F thought I would do the decoration, because I'm really confused"

I'd love to know what on earth she was thinking.

The ONLY way gluezilla was going to have a chance of tidy considering decorating was if the contents of the first email were...

Hi, really sorry that we were unable to invite you to our wedding after all.

We are looking for someone to help decorate the venue. As you are so artistic blah blah blah we wondered if you would consider helping. In reward for this we would like to invite you and your DH to the evening reception.

Still a bit crass but sets a warmer tone than "youre the only one that isn't invited and I assime you'll spend all day doing it.

This story ended with the first email from gluezillas point of view. From MNs pov it has been a wonderful trilogy.

FruOla Tue 06-Aug-13 19:09:52

Or, if you are tempted to reply :

Dear <Gluesister>,

Thank you for your diplomatic response. Let me make myself perfectly clear on this subject - I will not be decorating Glue's venue.

Tidy

KeatsiePie Tue 06-Aug-13 19:10:06

AHA! So F is stuck, is she? That explains why F's sister sent you the first email that seemed to be just innocently wondering what had happened: F asked her sister to write to you and get a feel for how offended you are and then magically talk you into it somehow, b/c F is panicking about the decorating.

Therefore:

Dear F's Sister,

Thank you for your reply, you're very kind. It's unfortunate that F is stuck. Something always goes wrong with the planning of a wedding and I know it can be stressful. But again quite honestly I'm neither willing nor able to help with the decorating. Perhaps it would be best handled by a professional vendor. I wish her a very happy day.

Kind regards,
TD.

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 19:10:32

Marz i think the can may explode and there would be worms everywhere if that question was asked grin

You could say my favourite line i said to MIL once 'she is the architect of her own misery' smile

Anniegetyourgun Tue 06-Aug-13 19:10:46

Gluesis seems to have picked her words very carefully. Note she says "she is still hoping you will reconsider", not "I am" or "we are". Looks like all the diplomatic genes went to one side of the family.

Agree that no reply is probably best, but if you want to remove all doubt:

"Thank you for your reply. No, not a chance of my reconsidering, I'm afraid. Hope it all goes well for you though."

MintyChops Tue 06-Aug-13 19:14:58

Oh do send a reply featuring the words "architect of her own misery"!!!!

totally and selfishly loses sight of the fact that this might cause ructions

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 19:15:03

Marz? Maryz of course - apologies (i'm sure you are nothing like the rap-metaller) smile

Don't reply.

Leave it, there's nothing more to be said.

ParsingFancy Tue 06-Aug-13 19:18:10

Agree, don't reply.

But if you are tempted, please no thanks for GlueSister's "understanding" or "kindness"!

You've done nothing that needs either!

KeatsiePie Tue 06-Aug-13 19:18:42

I was thinking about how I was beginning to feel sorry for the bridezilla on the last thread. I do actually still feel sorry for her b/c I think she is in the throes of absolute panic and it must be miserable to be her right now. But she's still handling this so badly that it's become ridiculous -- MrsKoala's "architect of her own misery" is exactly right. Which is why I admire Tidy's civil and kind responses.

TweedWasSoLastYear Tue 06-Aug-13 19:18:46

Stuck herself together with glue has she?

Either Ignore and Carry on Carrying on or

Reply " I will not be reconsidering , have a wonderful day . TD"

Why cant GSis do it?

If a job needs doing , Do as much as you can to get someone else to do it, even if it involves more effort than actually doing it yourself.

onedev Tue 06-Aug-13 19:29:49

Another vote for don't reply - I'm still absolutely astounded with the nerve & sister loyalty or not, she shouldn't have mentioned her sisters upset at all. Your feelings are truly the only ones that count here.

elQuintoConyo Tue 06-Aug-13 19:31:12

Or you could be very adult about this and come out smelling of roses by e-mailing:
Dear Gluesister,
Please tell you sister UP YOUR BUM!
Regards,
Tidy
xoxo

BalloonSlayer Tue 06-Aug-13 19:32:07

Oh, I thought my "I think this has gone far enough line" was supposed to imply Tidy didn't want any more communication. confused

If an apology did suddenly miraculously appear after it I'd suggest the all-time-favourite "too little too late" as a reply.

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 19:34:58

I agree Balloon, but i think the earlier mention of an apology would give the terminally deluded and desperate wishful thinker a chink of hope which you wouldn't want to encourage in any way!

BelleJolie Tue 06-Aug-13 19:36:19

I would reply but keep it very simple:

Dear Gluesista

I'm really sorry I'm not able to help. Hope things get sorted.

Tidy.

Lambzig Tue 06-Aug-13 19:39:18

Gosh, this is the thread (x3) that keeps on giving.

I agree that that was a response that gave her sister loyalty while demonstrating that clearly she agrees with you. It's a really nice response actually and I think I would feel better if I had received that.

I wouldn't reply, I would just leave it there.

prettybird Tue 06-Aug-13 19:43:11

There's nothing to reconsider. Tidy was never asked to decorate the venue. The fact that Gluezilla assumed that she would is her funeral wedding problem. hmm

I liked mrskoala's reply. <waves to gluezilla's sister if you're reading this>

SarahAndFuck Tue 06-Aug-13 19:50:05

I'm glad Gluesister had the good manners to reply.

But I wouldn't engage any further if I were you.

She understands exactly where you are coming from, she knows you're not going to reconsider and I don't think she blames you one little bit, but she had to mention it to you so she can tell Gluezilla she did.

I'd leave it now. Everything has been said, several times, there's no real point in repeating yourself again. They are just going to have to accept you've said your last word on the subject and make other arrangements. If you reply again Bridezilla is going to feel she can still convince you because you are still responding.

SarahAndFuck Tue 06-Aug-13 19:51:20

I like the sound of Gluesister by the way.

She sounds sensible smile

RenterNomad Tue 06-Aug-13 19:56:08

If you don't like "understanding", ParsingFancy, what about referring to "the acknowledgement"?

FriskyHenderson Tue 06-Aug-13 20:00:10

MaryZ gives the perfect reply to keep stringing out this thread grin

ParsingFancy Tue 06-Aug-13 20:04:40

Oh yes! "Acknowledgement" could cover acknowledging GlueZilla's behaviour.

But still better not to reply at all.

blimey!

id either go with no reply or baloons reply

i have agreed with every single post baloon has posted on all 3 threads... thats never happend before said in a non creepy way obvs! grin

bugger! missed the second l both times confused

roslet Tue 06-Aug-13 20:17:59

I want Tidy to reply cause I don't want the thread to end! But it probably is kinder to leave it there. Gluezilla's only reason for being upset must be because part of her has at last realised that she has been massively rude and presumptuous. Easier to feign hurt rather than admit Olympic medal standard bridezillaness!

zipzap Tue 06-Aug-13 20:36:38

Anybody else childish like me think it was funny that gluesis said that gluezilla was stuck? gringrin

Or wonder if she is a mnetter and used it to show she understood? also a conspiracy theorist

I agree that not replying is the best way to go. However if I was tempted, I'd say something along the lines of:
I really hope that gluezilla understands that I am not able to help decorate the venue for her wedding - she really will have problems in finding someone to help her decorate this time if she doesn't start looking for somebody very soon. May I suggest that as soon as she has somebody on mind, she asks them straight away and not leave it in the hope they telepathically pick up on her hopes.
Should gluezilla need somebody to help her decorate the venue for subsequent weddings, please do remind your sis if she would like to use my services, she needs to get in touch well in advance. I'm sure could provide a very reasonable quote given that we were once friends.
I hope that you all enjoy the day.

- ok obviously I wouldn't send this but it's fun to think about sending! grin

nauticant Tue 06-Aug-13 20:39:45

As ever, SarahAndFuck (with her kick-ass name), is right.

The sister's reply is good, it requires no cleverness to read the clear subtext, and doesn't require a reply.

grin zipzap
Loving the not so subtle 'subsequent weddings'

SanityClause Tue 06-Aug-13 20:51:55

Has anyone else pointed out that Gluezilla is stuck!

grin

Beastofburden Tue 06-Aug-13 21:03:15

Diddl, on saving days, the wedding and the hall decorating would not be on the same day. (Though if gluezilla gets really really stuck, they might smile ) So un saving the wedding day doesn't mean she wouldn't be free on the hall decorating day.

qazxc Tue 06-Aug-13 21:08:55

oh dear there is now disabusing gluezilla from the notion that op will change her mind is there?

nilbyname Tue 06-Aug-13 21:24:35

Good golly! the sister is obviously thinking the bride I'd nuts, and you are fine. What a pickly the old glue sniffing has gotten her into this time. Dear oh dear oh dear....

zipzap Tue 06-Aug-13 21:30:13

Eagle I thought it was a nice suitably bitchy touch myself grin

SanityClaus I beat you to it - just - by a couple of posts! But was also very surprised that no one else had picked up on it!

knickernicker Tue 06-Aug-13 21:36:11

There is nothing in the sister's reply that suggests she might see the OP's point of view. (wishful thinking on readers' part).She could for all we know entirely agree with the bride, particularly as she continues to request the OP's help. No more contact would be the best way forward I think.

SanityClause Tue 06-Aug-13 21:38:39

Oh, zipzap, I knew I couldn't be the only one who noticed. I did skim through to see if anyone had mentioned it, but I was so ludicrously excited by my extraordinary wit, that I missed your post. wink

Mimishimi Tue 06-Aug-13 21:40:36

Ah well then. No reply is needed now. You can be sure from the way GZ has treated you thus far,that not only would she not pay you for your efforts, she probably wouldn't front up the money or reimburse your costs. I think the sister agrees with you but doesn't want to seem disloyal to her sister. Well done for not caving in.

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 21:48:00

I agree with Knickernicker, i don't see anything in the reply from the sister which indicates she understands. For all we know she totally agrees with her sister and is just replying in the most vague way to get Tidy to agree. I think her language has been chosen very carefully to not give anything away. I don't think there is any reading between the lines at all.

I am in the 'no reply' camp but, if you had to, could I suggest a small adjustment to TheDoctrine's reply?

Dear Gluesister,

I'm glad you understand. Tell F I won't be reconsidering so and she should seek professional quotes or help from some of the guests. grin

Regards,

Tidy

TheDoctrineOfAllan Tue 06-Aug-13 22:33:43

grin

Patosshades Tue 06-Aug-13 22:38:05

The only course of action left is to block their email addresses and step away slowly from the whole thing.

clam Tue 06-Aug-13 22:39:31

Probably best to leave it be now.
Although, if you are tempted to reply, I'd do a mix of balloon's and koala's

Notafoodbabyanymore Tue 06-Aug-13 22:50:41

Dear Sister-of-bride,

Can't believe your sister is more worried about a few decorations than about being seriously rude and upsetting an old friend. Astonishing.

I never offered nor agreed to decorate and won't be changing my mind.

Perhaps your sister needs to learn that it's not a good idea to show someone how little their friendship means immediately before asking for a massive favour.

A professional decorating service seems like your best bet at this late stage.

Good luck.

Tidy.

HaveTeaWillSurvive Tue 06-Aug-13 22:52:08

Tbh I think I'd have to reply but in an ambiguous way along the lines of:

Ok doke x

Just for kicks grin

BiscuitDunker Tue 06-Aug-13 22:52:46

<Delurks>

I'd reply

"Dear GlueSister

I'm glad you understand but just to clear up the matter,I will not be decoating the venue and I will not be reconsidering this decision either. The answer was no when GZ asked the first time and has remained a "no" on subsequent requests for my help.

Bearing that in mind could you please enlighten me as to why GZ is "upset" and "stuck" and more to the point WHY she was "relying" on me to decorate in the first place when we had NEVER discussed this up until she emailed me to ask for help a couple of weeks ago and I had certainly never agreed to help her when she did ask.

I would now suggest that you strongly advise GZ (if you haven't already) to seek professional help or ask some of her wedding guests for assisstance with decorating before it gets any closer to her big day.

I wish GZ well on her wedding day and hope she can find the help she requires from another source.

Regards
Tidy"

FWIW I have really enjoyed reading these 3 threads,the nerve,cheek and pure brass neck of some people never fails to amaze me! Thanks Tidy! smile

Notafoodbabyanymore Tue 06-Aug-13 22:53:58

Having said that, I think probably no reply is best now. I agree that there's nothing in sistet's reply to suggest that she really gets it, though I'd hope that she does.

This whole situaton is bonkers!

Yonionekanobe Tue 06-Aug-13 23:07:02

Is also just let it lie now. After all this time she is not going to admit her mistake and you could not have been clearer.

I'm baffled as to why there has been such long lags in their emails though if she is so in need of your help - I reckon the sister may have been trying to diffuse the situation before replying.

I reckon GZ and GS have been juggling similar e-mails from all twenty uninvited STDs - that's a lot of correspondence!!

Tuppenceinred Tue 06-Aug-13 23:21:06

You know that the best possible thing to do is nothing don't you? Look at the effect that has had on some complete strangers who kept rushing in looking for this thread checking for replies. Say nothing and let GZ and her sis stew.

Tuppenceinred Tue 06-Aug-13 23:22:40

Oh, and if you do reply, just don't mention the word "sorry" anywhere and definitely don't say "I'm sorry but". Or I will be quite miffed. grin

2rebecca Tue 06-Aug-13 23:27:17

Mrs Koala's reply is good, but there's also something to be said for disengaging.
You are obviously unlikely to continue to be friends with this amazingly self centred woman. I can't believe she is stuck, what about all the other people she is much closer to and who she values more highly that got invites? Surely they can help and should be the people she is turning to first for help ?
The sister doesn't sound much better than gluezilla.

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 23:30:07

Agree with tuppence, and if you say 'not able' rather than 'not willing' i will find out where you live and sign you up to all the wedding related advertising guff i can find...i'm sure confetti has a directory of madness. I bet they have ice sculptures and balloon arches and engraved favours and all types of shizzle. You have been warned.

Monty27 Tue 06-Aug-13 23:30:44

Dear Bridezilla's dsis

Tough shit, as I said before I'm seeing a friend that day

angry

MrsKoala Tue 06-Aug-13 23:33:40

No 2rebecca they obvs cannot help for 2 reasons, 1) is she wants to do the grand unveil to gasps of horror delight, and 2) they will all be spending 2 days getting ready; hair apps, spray tans, botox, eyebrows shaved off and tattooed back on in a surprised and awed expression in preparation for the wedding. Natch!

deleted203 Tue 06-Aug-13 23:43:28

No reply is probably best.

But if you have to - then now is the time to respond with the cryptic

Glad you understand. Maybe next time.

grin

dontlaugh Tue 06-Aug-13 23:49:06

Your sister to be is quite twisted,
Bewildered, confused and hamfisted, to think that all was most true,
Maybe perhaps cos of the glue,
Perhaps she'd be happy to learn,
Most of mumsnet thinks she should burn,
But carry on surely,
The bride will certainly do, surely,
And you can rest on your laurels, demurely.

trixymalixy Wed 07-Aug-13 00:03:13

Dear Lord, it is rude enough to ask someone for a favour then try to guilt trip them into saying yes after they have said no several times, never mind having sent them a STD card and then not invite them to the wedding.

Are you sure the STD card didn't say wedding venue decorating lackey rather than wedding guest on it?!?!?

Lazyjaney Wed 07-Aug-13 00:26:22

Gluesis seems to have picked her words very carefully. Note she says "she is still hoping you will reconsider", not "I am" or "we are". Looks like all the diplomatic genes went to one side of the family

All these emails have been very cleverly worded, from both Gluezilla and Gluesis, it's almost as if they are designed as communiques by a committee (perhaps explains the delays?). Even the latest is a sort of apology (maybe) but also bids a strong guilt trip.

The dignified, wise and mature thing to do would be to do nothing, but must say I'd be tempted to give her nose a tweak with something on the lines of:

Dear...

Sorry F. is upset, maybe she can see if some of those who are going to the wedding can help her out?

Good luck.

Cheap I know, but I would feel so much better grin

dontlaugh Wed 07-Aug-13 00:33:50

Your communique,it's true, was quite sweet,
But to fix this is still a huge feat,
Give in to the glue,
Take your seat at the pew,
And be glad that it's her and not you.

Lorialet Wed 07-Aug-13 00:36:15

Don't reply ~ just leave them hanging. That'll really piss them off smile

float62 Wed 07-Aug-13 00:36:16

Of course she's "stuck"...she's Gluezilla...! And float to bed.

dontlaugh Wed 07-Aug-13 00:50:30

Gluezilla you say, what a twit,
She wanted it all, went batshit,
The net, it went loopers indeed,
Seen more sense from a pombear who peed,
Mumsnet gathered all near and so far,
To gawp at such things, so bizarre,
It will sadly blow over,
Like the cliffs down in Dover,
And we will all regret the hangover.

Thumbwitch Wed 07-Aug-13 00:54:30

<snigger> at Gluezilla being stuck.

I would be tempted to reply along the lines of:

Dear Gluesis
I don't know why she's stuck for someone to decorate her venue. I've refused to do this 3* times now, she should have started looking for someone else to do it after the first time. I suggest she gets on with that rather than harassing me, when I've said that I won't be doing it, or her venue will be undecorated on the day.
Yours, Tidy.

*Pretty sure it's 3 by now, isn't it?

FruOla Wed 07-Aug-13 07:01:24

I agree with the couple of PPs who said, upthread, that the probable reason for the delay with Gluesister's reply is because they - or rather Glue - were desperately asking around some of the other dis-inviteds.

Actually, and I've mentioned this a couple of times previously, I wonder whether Glue has been pestering Tidy's local dis-invited friend? Tidy, have you told her about this yet?

diddl Wed 07-Aug-13 07:20:27

"un saving the wedding day doesn't mean she wouldn't be free on the hall decorating day."

True-could be that OP was never free on the decorating day!!grin

chenin Wed 07-Aug-13 07:33:59

Hmmm... the right thing to do would be to not reply.

However.... after the event, and GZ is hashing over her wedding day with anyone that will listen, I would be worried that my name will be dragged through the mud and somehow anything that goes wrong on that day will all come back to me letting down GZ on her wonderful day by backing out at the last minute. We all know this isn't true, but this is what people do, don't they...a scapegoat...

So, I would be tempted to spell it out so that the sister knows... the fact you never ever agreed in the first place, that GZ made a HUGE assumption, and you feel used and hurt.