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to be fed up of balls in my garden from next door?

(234 Posts)
nomoreballs Wed 31-Jul-13 19:41:49

Nearly everyday at least one ball gets thrown over the fence. The record was 5 in one day! I used to pick them up each time and throw them back but I am getting annoyed by it. If the kids are in the garden when I throw them back they never say thanks.

I had plans to get a greenhouse before they moved in but it's not worth even considering.

A few days ago I gave up throwing them back. I counted 4 balls in my garden this morning (plus one more that my dog was chewing on.)

Neither the kids or the parents have said anything yet. AIBU?

Avondale Wed 31-Jul-13 19:44:59

Think you are being a bit miserable tbh. Tho my Granny used to pop each and every ball that came into her garden. She never got Xmas cards off the neighbours.

xylem8 Wed 31-Jul-13 19:50:57

Is it really a hardship to throw back a few balls whaen you are out there? Think of it as an arm/shoulder workout

primallass Wed 31-Jul-13 19:51:32

Yes YABU, but I would say that because DS love practising overhead kicks and puts them over the garden wall every day. But he is outside running around.

OryxCrake Wed 31-Jul-13 19:56:15

We used to have this a lot and while I was nice to the kids involved and always returned the balls, it actually did ruin several summers for us as they booted a ball against the fence for hours and kicked several over every day.

Part of the problem (apart from the incessant thudding) was that the place where the balls came over was right by where we sit out (tiny garden, surrounded by other gardens as it's on a corner plot) and we had a lot of near misses with drinks, food etc!

We did have a (gentle) word about perhaps kicking the ball the other way but they said their mum told them not to kick it towards their house. Their dad sometimes used to join in, too, and he was worse than the kids for kicking the ball over. (We have a lovely park over the road...)

I didn't want to spoil their fun but I was bloody glad when they moved, tbh.

usualsuspect Wed 31-Jul-13 19:59:27

Just chuck them back over.

Jeez the things people moan about on here.

WeleaseWodger Wed 31-Jul-13 20:00:17

Having flying objects hit you every time you may want to use your garden? Dangerous and I would have word with the parents. They can pay to install a safety net over top of the fence if they're so keen.

And don't return balls. Chuck them in the bin and let them know they can rummage for them.

I'm constantly reminding DS not to kick the ball against neighbour's fence, and to keep it low so they don't have to throw it back. It's simple manners really.

However it is part and parcel of living next door to a family in the summer. YWU not to throw them back when you had the chance to, is it really that much bother? Have you asked them to be more careful?

Get the greenhouse. Then go round and tell them that you have a greenhouse, and ask if they could please keep the balls from coming over, in case they damage it. If they're reasonable (and sensible) people they'll respect that, and their wallets should they accidentally break a pane and be responsible for replacing it.

usualsuspect Wed 31-Jul-13 20:04:28

Seriously,Chuck them in the bin?

You miserable sod.

MrsKeithRichards Wed 31-Jul-13 20:04:59

Just stop until they ask.

ClaraOswald Wed 31-Jul-13 20:06:02

I had that one day.

The kid sent his friend over for the 5th time, and I said that I would return the ball when I was ready as 5 times in one afternoon was too much.

I threw it back two days later and strangely enough, no balls have come in for the past 8 weeks.

GoodMorningMoon Wed 31-Jul-13 20:06:24

I'd be annoyed that they didn't say thank you.

Munchmallow Wed 31-Jul-13 20:06:29

I'm quite tolerant when it comes to children lobbing footballs over my fence and usually just throw them back.

But I had to complain when a gym ball landed in my garden. It could have knocked me out!

Tweasels Wed 31-Jul-13 20:08:28

Life is tough OP. What more can I say.

Live and let live - I tell them off if they batter the ball on the fence as I don't fancy the cost of replacing it and I'm sure their parents don't either, but I am happy to return the stray balls or allow them access to collect.

Most times the parents get them to play with soft balls so they don't do damage and I know that those are harder to control in terms of them shooting over the fence as they are a lot lighter.

HolidayArmadillo Wed 31-Jul-13 20:10:16

What pisses me off. And I mean really fucks me off, is when I'm on night shift and the balls come over the fence and as we have high fences they can't just jump over and get them back they come and ring the doorbell. Repeatedly. Until I get up. I asked them politely not to do it again the first time, the second time I was less polite. The third time, honestly? I told him he couldn't have his effing ball back. Felt a bit guilty but I was absolutely livid.

BlissfullyIgnorant Wed 31-Jul-13 20:10:32

We took a dislike when one blocked a drainpipe and caused damage from rainwater ingress. Now we have a dog, we can't get enough - he loves it! It's doggy manna from pet heaven grin

usualsuspect Wed 31-Jul-13 20:12:08

I used to tell my neighbours kids to come and get them back themselves.

They climbed over or came in the gate if it wasn't locked.

nomoreballs Wed 31-Jul-13 20:12:40

Just let the dog out and found a child's baseball cap and shoe!

I don't think I would mind so much if they said thanks. I once spent ages trying to find a small toy that the girl chucked over. She was crying but once I handed it to her she grabbed it and walked away.

MrsHoarder Wed 31-Jul-13 20:14:53

You have it easy: next doors pre school bits throw everything over the fence. So balls and Frisbee but also garden canes and stones. I have a baby who likes exploring the garden but we have to come in when they go out.

Lovely parents, but a but ineffective at discipline.

MrsHoarder Wed 31-Jul-13 20:15:50

Pre school boys

Ham69 Wed 31-Jul-13 20:16:06

Phew, I though that the OP was my neighbour! I do apologise and thank her on the rare occasions I see her (garden that backs onto us), but the fact is my 6 year old is passionate about football and it's the summer holidays. Apart from nagging him incessantly and taking him to the park as often as possible, it's a healthy hobby and he's just enjoying himself and not meaning to offend anyone. He'll soon grow out of it. Luckily, both my neighbours either side are brilliant and say he can hop over the fence and retrieve the balls whenever they're not around. Unlike a few miserable sods on here. He'd be devestated if they all got destroyed. YABU.

mimitwo Wed 31-Jul-13 20:19:47

Unless they were bowling balls then this really would not worry or bother me at all.

IWillGetThere Wed 31-Jul-13 20:20:20

Once maybe twice a day you have to throw a ball over? YABU. I wouldn't think twice about that.

larry5 Wed 31-Jul-13 20:21:45

Ham69 he might not grow out of it. The boy next door is 18 and we still get footballs over from him most days. If we don't return the ball fast enough he jumps over the wall.

MrsHoarder Wed 31-Jul-13 20:27:11

Mimi what about stones the size of an adult fist that leave a dent in the grass?

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Wed 31-Jul-13 20:33:22

I'd save them up for a while and chick them back all at once

tabulahrasa Wed 31-Jul-13 20:34:45

We live backing on to a park, so we get balls fairly often (though funnily much less since we got a big dog) the man next door quickly runs out and grabs any that go in his garden and runs in his house with them before the kids playing have to time to look over the fence or come round to the door, they never get them back.

I'm not suggesting that as an option - but it's really quite entertaining to watch if you happen to be out there, I mean it's a bit of a shame for the kids, but watching my neighbour rushing out all furtively is funny.

I'd make them come and ask for them rather than being helpful though if you're not even getting a thanks for it.

NeatFreak Wed 31-Jul-13 20:36:02

We used to have a neighbour whose son was obsessed with football and for several months we were returning his ball 4 or 5 times a day. In the end I said I was happy to return it twice a day but after that he'd have to wait until the following day. I got really tired of the doorbell going all day and had a young baby and this seemed to do the trick ( plus he had about Ten balls so waiting until exit day wasn't a hardship!)

nannynewo Wed 31-Jul-13 20:36:09

Yes, YABU. My brothers and I used to spend hours and hours playing with balls in the garden and they ALWAYS used to end up in next doors garden! As did theirs in ours when they would play in their garden. We used to be very polite by either knocking on the door or waiting until they were in the garden until they then said we could simply climb over the wall and collect the balls ourselves. But then again we were very close to our neighbours. In fact, the whole street was pretty laid back. We can't have been that bad, they still live next to my parents now!

nomoreballs Wed 31-Jul-13 20:37:03

I wouldn't destroy them although I can't help my dog chewing one. She has only ever chewed one and that one was quite small. All the rest are large disney/spiderman/footballs.

I do worry that one will land in fresh dog poop one day!

Lj8893 Wed 31-Jul-13 20:40:34

I had the same problem in my old house. Probably about 5 balls (and various other items) a day. We would throw them back and the children would exclaim how it was magic that they came back, the parents would also exclaim how magical it was. Never a Thankyou.

Didn't really bother us too much until one day I was putting my washing out and a plastic cricket bat was thrown over and it smacked me on the head, bounced onto my shoulder and then onto my bump. (Thankfully not hard but my head hurt!) I said ow really loudly and chucked it back over to have one of the parents ask me to be careful as it nearly hit them!!!

So yanbu. It is a pain in the ass quite frankly, I wouldn't put them in the bin but just save them up till they ask for them back and then have a quiet polite word!

LackingEnergy Wed 31-Jul-13 20:50:15

Pfft I stopped throwing them back after doing it 5 X a day for 14 days straight.

The ones the dogs don't get hold of go into a box and are chucked back over at the end of the week if the parents not the children come to collect them.

MooseyMoo Wed 31-Jul-13 20:50:49

I used to throw footballs back over fence for next door but they never said thank you or came round to get it back. They have at least 10 leather footballs and I really started to get irritated with them when they nearly hit my 2 yo DD and didn't apologise (they must have heard her crying and asking where the ball came from).

coppertop Wed 31-Jul-13 20:50:54

It depends on how intrusive it is.

I used to be quite happy to just throw the ball back over. That was until the ball came flying back over just a few minutes later. The record here was 7 times in 10 minutes, and all from the garden next-door.

Then there was the ball that came over and hit my 6mth-old on the head.

There was one occasion when a ball came over and I thought that it was the usual culprits so threw it back over their fence. A while later the neighbour from the other side came round and asked for their ball. I explained what had happened and they went round to get it back - only for our neighbour to deny they'd ever had it. hmm

LackingEnergy Wed 31-Jul-13 20:53:12

* that should be or earlier if the parents collect them

sheridand Wed 31-Jul-13 21:06:03

Doesn't bother me. The kids can come into my front garden and get it if they are playing "kerbie", and if either side sends one over, if I can get it before the labrador pops it, i'll chuck it back. I'm grateful to have families either side, tbh. They don't mind my two making kid noises, or me sometimes being shouty, and the kids pop back and forth from the gardens all the time. We can do the school run for each other if a kid is crook, we have a cuppa. The balls over the fence ( and sometimes playmobil, rather memorably, once, a hosepipeful of water, which resulted in a full scale water WAR!!!) are part and parcel of enjoying life. Far rather kids next door than a neighbour who might complain anytime my kids did anything childlike!

On the other hand, the numpties with their mopeds REALLY annoy me!

cozietoesie Wed 31-Jul-13 21:18:59

A few years back, I was walking down a local street and two lads were playing footie in the street. One hit a ball which arced into the air, came towards me and missed by inches.

I stalked towards them, their faces now sullen thinking that The Wummin was going to tell them off, and said (in local dialect) 'For God's sake - learn some ball control. Keep the ball low and going where you want it!' and walked off to a stunned silence.

I'd recommend that approach - and it's not a pure tactic. If you have balls soaring over your fence all the time, they're not trying to improve their ball handling skill.


mistlethrush Wed 31-Jul-13 21:32:07

I can lend you my dog for a day or two... she'd pop anything that came over the fence very happily grin

holidaybug Wed 31-Jul-13 21:33:34

It's hardly a big issue is it.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 31-Jul-13 21:36:46

YABU and you will be known by all the kids in the neighbourhood as the witch who doesn't give balls back. Do you have a cat?
Just give them back, its hardly inconveniencing you.

mirry2 Wed 31-Jul-13 21:42:38

We have balls coming ito our garden from the gardens on the left, right and end of our garden. I used to worry about which garden I should throw the ball back into but now I just throw it into any of them. None of mmy neighbours has ever thanked me or even mentioned it. I sometimes find them deep in my flowerbeds. They could have been there ages.

Greyhorses Wed 31-Jul-13 21:45:47

I have trouble with my neighbours children constantly doing this. I wouldn't care normally and am happy to throw the odd one back but they repeatedly ring the doorbell until I get up and throw it back despite the fact they know I work night shifts! The cheeky buggers even spy through my front window if I dare not to answer on the first ring (god forbid i dare take a bath or eat dinner and don't jump at the speed of light) and I've even caught them trying to jump my fence (with three german shepherds loose in the garden, where are the parents when this is happening!!! My dogs are softies but I bet I would get the blame if some child gets knocked over as they do fly around with excitement!!)

Now I let the dogs play with them and then throw them back once deflated and covered in dog slime! YANBU!!

ovenchips Wed 31-Jul-13 21:47:56

4 balls in one day.

This complaint must qualify for some sort of prize.

Well done OP for managing to keep yourself at a steady level of pissed offedness and aggravation for absolutely no real reason at all.

ChippingInHopHopHop Wed 31-Jul-13 21:52:37

Now I let the dogs play with them and then throw them back once deflated and covered in dog slime! YANBU!!

That's no way to let your dog treat a child shock


flatmum Wed 31-Jul-13 21:54:08

what a miserable bunch of old miseries you are! just chuck em back over next time you're out there what's the big deal?

in astounded at this. round here they're are always kids balls in gardens. noone complains, noone rings doorbells, people just chuck them back next time they're in the garden.

nomoreballs Wed 31-Jul-13 21:55:40

*4 balls in one day.

This complaint must qualify for some sort of prize.*

Perhaps my prize is 4 balls! Yay I've won!

ovenchips Wed 31-Jul-13 22:00:40

No more balls grin

CrabbyBigBottom Wed 31-Jul-13 22:05:00

Wow I'm such a crabby bitch (the clue is in the name) because this is not in any way acceptable to me. Why is it ok for me to have balls and shit landing in my garden, snapping plants, flowers and vegetables that I've nurtured and that give me pleasure? Why is it ok for their carelessness to ruin my garden?

There are boys on both sides of us. A couple of years ago they kicked a ball over and it snapped the only flower of a beautiful iris on which I'd been watching the bud form for a week. I told them that they could have it back once, but if they kicked a ball in the garden again then they wouldn't be getting it back. There have been a couple of things in the garden since, funnily enough a ball and a frisbee in the last couple of weeks. I've left them there a week or so and then chucked them back when I was in a good mood. Noone came and asked for them. grin

If they want to play footie they should go to the park or aim away from the fences. It isn't rocket science. Why does the fact that they're children mean that they can spoil other people's private spaces? I know that sometimes shit happens and balls go over fences, but as a general rule: if you can't keep a ball in your own space, find a bigger public space to play in.

Tiredmumno1 Wed 31-Jul-13 22:07:08

You can actually get in trouble for theft if you keep or destroy.

Just let your neighbours know that you will do a scout round in the middle of the day, and again at the end to throw anything back that has been thrown. That way you are not doing it numerous times, and they don't need to be bother you as they'll know the rules.

It's the holidays they just want to have fun smile

hatchypom Wed 31-Jul-13 22:08:07

We had golf balls flying into our garden regularly, my dd was nearly hit by one. We called the police and the local officer leaflet dropped and knocked on neighbours doors.

Tiredmumno1 Wed 31-Jul-13 22:09:29

shock Golf balls

TheSmallClanger Wed 31-Jul-13 22:25:34

Our next-door neighbours are good friends of ours. Generally, if balls or other toys flew over the fence, the guilty party was allowed to nip in and get them if the gate was open. We didn't have the dogs at that point.
DD and her friend once invented a volleyball-type game using the fence as a net.

However, no-one kicked balls against the fence or repeatedly booted them into the garden, which I probably would have found a bit annoying, especially if they hit me or our pets.

BOF Wed 31-Jul-13 22:30:26

I don't mind throwing the balls back over in my own time- what I can't stand is the ringing of the doorbell.

BrianTheMole Wed 31-Jul-13 22:38:27

I wouldn't be happy with it, especially if they hit my greenhouse. The odd ball occasionally, fine, but 4 or 5 times a day is ridiculous. YANBU op.

MrsDonaldDraper Wed 31-Jul-13 22:43:53

We have this, though 4 before 11am is the current record. I used to throw them back, but I now have a 12 week old baby and one of the balls narrowly missed her.

We have nicely asked twice If they could be more careful, but the other day we got another 4 in an afternoon.

So, to those saying its not a problem, what can I do to ensure I can use my garden and not worry about balls hitting my baby? (I'm genuinely interested). Also, other than that my neighbours are great and I don't want to fall out with them..

katatonic Wed 31-Jul-13 22:45:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Be grateful it's just balls. Two of my children have managed to throw their shoes into next door's garden within the last week.

Dorris83 Wed 31-Jul-13 23:13:26

I think the main issue here is the lack of 'thank you' when OP has returned the balls. I find that shocking and it would make me disinclined to return the balls.
YANBU OP for that reason.

opilo Wed 31-Jul-13 23:21:52

Wouldn't it just be easier to give them permission to come into your garden to collect balls themselves.

minsmum Wed 31-Jul-13 23:34:30

I stopped throwing balls back when I heard next doors kids shout to my Dd hey bitch get my ball. I do a trawl once a week now and throw anything back then

CrabbyBigBottom Wed 31-Jul-13 23:45:31

shock minsmum there'd only be one place their fucking balls would be going, and it wouldn't be back over the fence! angry

nomoreballs Wed 31-Jul-13 23:46:07

Opilo - No way. They already tease my dog when hanging over the fence, I don't plan on letting have free reign of my garden.

I think I will just wait for one of them to be in the garden at 10:30pm playing the recorder (like on sunday night) I will then throw all the balls over at once.

babybythesea Thu 01-Aug-13 00:06:41

Just read the whole thread to see if anyone else had a mind in the gutter.

Nope, looks like it was just me.

My first thought was "The bloke from next door should put some clothes on or take his balls back home....!!!!!"

Tiredmumno1 Thu 01-Aug-13 00:18:49

Heehee baby naughty naughty grin

moodymai Thu 01-Aug-13 05:11:49

Wait until the parents are out enjoying their garden and then throw them back. See how they like it.

libertine73 Thu 01-Aug-13 05:24:00

my neighbour could have written this, except for the not saying thanks bit. my boy is also football mad, and we buy him the light balls so they don't bang on fence loudly, or do any damage to property or dd. as a result though they do gp higher, or neighbours Chuck them back when they're out there and don't seem to mind, but we tolerate their dogs incessant yapping so....

MidniteScribbler Thu 01-Aug-13 06:26:37

My dogs are convinced that any balls that arrive in my backyard are a special gift from the doggy god to say they've been good.

MiaowTheCat Thu 01-Aug-13 08:14:15

It's amazing how the lack of footballing accuracy varies here- our garden gets very few, but they hassle next door constantly to chuck them back over. The fact we have two large noisy dogs may be purely coincidence but it proves they can keep it in the garden, they just can't be bothered to.

If one comes over I'll throw it back but I'm not going to drop everything to rush outside and rescue it from the dog if he happens to be out.

Sparklingbrook Thu 01-Aug-13 08:24:33

My DS kicked a ball in our garden and his shoe flew off over next door's fence. I made him write a note as they were on holiday. Soggy shoe was returned.

Then when he was about 3 DS2 dunked his pants in the paddling pool then threw them over the neighbour's fence. I sent him round to apologise and I was being stern and neighbour was trying not to laugh.

He also threw all the plastic recycling one by one over the other neighbour's fence, while they were away. hmm

All balls banned in our garden after DH kicked one over the fence and smashed the roof of the neighbour's greenhouse.

grin at the soggy pants. Mine haven't managed that yet.

In previous places we've lived in, with little gardens and easy access, I just asked the neighbours to feel free to fetch their ball themselves, unless we were in the garden, and then we would return it when ready.

Now we live next to a nursery and get a ball over the fence. every few days or so, and throw them back
Every few days. If we got 5 balls over the fence a day, I imagine it would be quite a collection to come back to after a long holiday!

We did have new neighbours on the other side who came and asked for their ball back and I explained that we wouldn't remember which ball was from where and his could end up in the nursery, but he would always be able to ask them for his ball back if that did happen. I've not noticed any more from that direction since.[ grin]

Sparklingbrook Thu 01-Aug-13 08:55:41

I felt sorry for the neighbours who were on their patio as the pants splatted over Three. They didn't know they were wet from the paddling pool.....

Cakebaker35 Thu 01-Aug-13 09:12:34

I sympathise OP but it's a tricky one to deal with if you want to stay friendly with neighbours isn't it. We used to have this all the time, tbh I just used to accept it when it was 4 or 5 balls, would generally just chuck them back at the end of th day, muttering under my breath. But then we started to get more and more, the most being 13 balls - I mean who even owns that many balls?! - so that evening I put them all in bin bags and then took them round and just said 'thought I'd return all your balls'. The Mum was mortified, went bright red and muttered 'oops, errrr, sorry'. I've never had a ball in the garden since.

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 01-Aug-13 09:14:02

We had a lovely neighbour who returned ours. We kept her sweet with bottles of wine occasionally.

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 01-Aug-13 09:15:20

Agree op is a moaner. 5 balls must take it our of you.

Either say to kids "Saturday morning is ball retrieval day"
Or throw them back.

You must have seen there were kids there when you looked at the house

freddiefrog Thu 01-Aug-13 09:19:49

I quite often have balls in the garden from next door. I usually lob them all back over in one go at the end of the day.

My youngest daughter managed to lob her space hopper over the fence one day so I have no room to moan about their balls grin

mrsidriselba Thu 01-Aug-13 09:19:49

My neighbour has a small basketball practice area built right up to the fence. The balls come over constantly and I've spent the last four years throwing them back. Now I don't because as long as the balls are in my garden, I don't have to listen to the thud thud of the ball being bounced on the concrete floor. All. Year. Round.

I've had plants broken and crushed. I've suggested them putting up a net to go round the practice court, a 10 by 10 net would do it, but no dice.So I wait until they come round and ask for the balls. The fence is too high to scale, and I'd go light if my garden was entered without permission.

I should say their back yard is large, and the hoop could be put elsewhere.

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 01-Aug-13 09:25:19

Can't you put up a trellis on your side?

My mothers neighbours rammed a trampoline against her fence on an area already raised from mums garden. Jumpers can see into her bedroom. Nothing wrong with that, they said

usualsuspect Thu 01-Aug-13 09:25:26

Everywhere I've lived there's been a non returner of balls.My kids used to wait until they had gone out and then climb over and get them.

BoohPear Thu 01-Aug-13 09:29:31

The word 'balls' has lost all meaning! grin

mrsidriselba Thu 01-Aug-13 09:39:02

LadyMilfordHaven, I'm guessing you meant me. The neighbours put up a trellis, but the regulation height for a basketball hoop is way higher than the local council will allow for a fence, so the balls still come over, hence the suggestion they put up a net, which is eminently do-able and legal. But seemingly beyond them to manage.

In addition, the land falls steeply on my side, so a high fence from their side would be the Berlin wall from mine.

MrsHoarder Thu 01-Aug-13 09:50:41

LadyMilfordHaven: "You must have seen there were kids there when you looked at the house"

Did you not read the same OP I did? She said when they moved in, ie she was there first.

And I happily threw balls back until stones started coming over. Parents need to teach their children that if they are dependent on the goodwill of others they shouldn't piss those others off by throwing large stones where the baby crawls.

weisswusrt Thu 01-Aug-13 09:58:40

I used to roll the balls into my dogs most recent shit....then when the brats came round demanding their stuff back I'd take them to it and say 'oh dear, looks like it landed in fluffys poo, better be more careful in future'.

Sparklingbrook Thu 01-Aug-13 10:00:16

Very adult weiss.

Tbh,I couldn't be bothered returning five balls a day and I have children. They can come and get them back themselves. The longer its iny garden, the l

Crinkle77 Thu 01-Aug-13 10:08:40

maybe if you stop throwing them back they will have to come and knock on your door to get it. After they have done this a few times they might get fed up and be more careful.

weisswusrt Thu 01-Aug-13 10:15:30

Just because I'm an adult does not mean I have to become some sort of martyred saint 'keeping the peace' at the cost of my sanity. As it happens those kids were nasty little things, who frankly....deserved it.

Sparklingbrook Thu 01-Aug-13 10:16:42

Deserved a ball covered in dog poo? sad Good lord.

DidoTheDodo Thu 01-Aug-13 10:19:17

I once had a "discussion" with a lad of about 10 years old who had repeatedly kicked a ball over my fence and then tried to scale the fence to retrieve it. (This is what really annoys me - the fence will soon get broken - it wasn't meant to support the weight of a largish child).

After he had shouted at me and called me all sorts of names (because I asked him to walk round to collect his ball) I eventually threw it back. sadly I am a very bad ball-thrower and in landed in large and thorny bush.

Oh dear. What a shame.

Strangely, the ball has not made a reappearance over the fence since.

mumblechum1 Thu 01-Aug-13 10:26:06

This drives dh mad as often the balls (last week there was a spacehopper as well hmm generally land right in the flower borders which he's tended all year round, either having bought a lot of very expensive plants, or bringing them up from seed, only to be destroyed by balls.

The borders on that side are almost 15 feet deep, so take a lot of work.
He used to throw the balls back but has stopped now.

I did chuck the space hopper back the other day and called to the mum that I was throwing it over "is it ok for me to throw it back from here, or will it land in an expensive plant?" Yes I was a bit Passive Aggresive grin

jamdonut Thu 01-Aug-13 10:40:47

You are definitely not being unreasonable OP!!

I have lived in my (owned) house for 10 years. The house next door is Council -owned.
2 years ago our neighbours moved and a family with 3 boys ranging from (then)12 to 2 moved in. Since then we have had countless balls over the fence. They older boy plays football as if he was in Wembley stadium in the garden with his friends, or they play an irritating game where they kick the ball over the trampoline netting and someone on the netting punches it out. We watch the ball getting higher and closer to our our fence until...OOPS!! it goes over! hmm

And it's not just balls, every day I pick up countless ,toys, nerf gun "bullets", lumps of concrete,half-eaten sandwiches,sweets,make-up brushes,trainers, pegs,that are not ours....the list is endless. Sometimes, if I'm feeling benevolent they get thrown back. They can't climb over our fence,thank goodness, because there are too many bushes and plants to do it safely.Not that I would allow it.
One day our greenhouse will be get broken. As it is we have to put up with plants being destroyed.

My children were taught to have respect for neighbours. If a ball went over ,it was a very rare occasion,and they either waited for someone to put it back over the fence or assumed it was lost. That made them careful.

We have a dog now, and the balls coming over has diminished slightly, but not the smaller things. Our dog (Lhasa Apso) eats everything, so we have to be extra vigilant.

jamdonut Thu 01-Aug-13 10:43:13

grin grin grin at "is it ok for me to throw it back from here, or will it land in an expensive plant?"

I'm going to use that one! (only because I know they definitely don't...if they did it would probably be ripped up and thrown over our fence anyway!!) wink

Groovee Thu 01-Aug-13 10:45:41

The rule in my house is "kick it over, go and knock next door. If it goes over our garage then we can retrieve it fine.

Last week dh kicked the ball, it went over the side fence and we've asked the 3 neighbours there if we could search their front gardens. We have no idea where it has gone and they're gossiping about the missing ball. grin Another neighbour hauled her grandson out to check he hadn't pinched it and hidden it blush.

But if the neighbour isn't in we have to wait on it coming back. We have once had an issue where a ball which wasn't ours kept being flung over the fence to our garden. When I spoke to the neighbour she said that she'd found it in her garden, so flung it over. Meanwhile I flung it over the back fence and a cycle continued as a dog walker kept throwing it back. It went in the bin eventually.

Kassett Thu 01-Aug-13 10:51:14

I think it should land (or otherwise) in your dog's poo before you chuck it back. That'll teach them.

BrianTheMole Thu 01-Aug-13 10:54:30

If peoples kids can't manage to keep the ball in their own gardens then maybe ball games should be saved for the park only. Amazingly our neighbours kids never kick their ball into our garden, they must be very clever.

Kassett Thu 01-Aug-13 11:13:00

I agree Brian. Our old neighbours not only allowed their cat to come and shit in our garden but also the football to be kicked over many times. I was really upset as it damaged flowers I had growing and totally destroyed a beuatiful sunflower that I was so proud of growing.

kungfupannda Thu 01-Aug-13 11:33:11

I'd be irritated by this. My PiL have children/teenagers on both sides of them and there are balls constantly coming over at the moment. They're both nice families and the parents keep asking the kids not to kick balls over the fence but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. They've had plants knocked over, a bit of fence broken, small grandkids smacked in the face by flying footballs.

And they always want the ball back NOWNOWITHASTOBERIGHTNOW, which generally involves my FiL, who is home the most, and can't walk very fast, getting up, opening the patio doors and going out to throw them back. Only to be expected to repeat another five times in the next fifteen minutes.

They've now started ignoring the constant requests - the balls get returned the next time someone is out in the garden. FiL keeps one of the curtains pulled slightly across the patio doors, so the kids can't see him if they look over the fence.

I was once cooking dinner round there. Everyone else was doing something elsewhere in the house and I was in the middle of cooking, and next-door's teenage son was hanging over the fence, trying to get me to go and get his ball. The kitchen window was open so I said "I'm doing something right now, you'll need to wait." He quite clearly heard me, but he just stayed there, waving his arms at me, as though I hadn't noticed him, and saying "Excuuuuuse me" over and over again and pointing to the ball.

I did eventually snap at him "I said WAIT. Your ball does not take priority over our dinner." His mother came out and had a go at him and sent him round to apologise. Funny, he seems to have managed to keep the ball in his own garden since then. The other side aren't doing so well, though.

xylem8 Thu 01-Aug-13 11:38:29

why not just allow them to let themselves in to get it

EllesAngel Thu 01-Aug-13 11:42:41

It seems from some of the replies on this thread that if kids kick balls into your garden and you have a nice garden and your flowers/shrubs get damaged that's just tough. If you have a baby/young child who gets hit by a ball being kicked into your garden that's also just tough.

After all kids must be able to play without showing any consideration to their neighbours and parents mustn't be expected to take their dc to the park to play football if said dc cannot play ball in their own gardens without constantly kicking the ball over the fence hmm

We very rarely get balls over our garden, plus the garden needs sorting out atm, so it doesn't bother me when they do come over but it would if I had a nice garden and balls were coming over every day and damaging it.

BrianTheMole Thu 01-Aug-13 11:46:49

why not just allow them to let themselves in to get it

I wouldn't want next doors kids traipsing through my garden up to five times a day. I would never let my kids do that to our neighbours, so rude. Why can't they just keep their toys and balls in their own garden, its really not difficult.

DanceParty Thu 01-Aug-13 11:49:14

Oh I love that weiss ! I'm with you OP - it can get very tiring after a while.

BrianTheMole Thu 01-Aug-13 11:50:52

Summed up nicely there EllesAngel. Entitlement seems to be the general attitude here. Nice. hmm

jamdonut Thu 01-Aug-13 11:51:52

Would you want people traipsing through your garden all the time? Our house is terraced, and between me and my other neighbour we keep the access passage to our gardens locked,to stop burglaries etc.
I have no back gate.

We're not talking about the odd ball here and there,I could cope with that! I'm not an unreasonable person. It is people not keeping their own children in check that I object to, when I do my best to be a nuisance to others.

tabulahrasa Thu 01-Aug-13 12:03:35

You can't have children wandering in and out of your garden if you have a dog.

DreamingofSummer Thu 01-Aug-13 12:05:00

Is today national miserable git day?

EllesAngel Thu 01-Aug-13 12:15:51

No, today is national stop the entitlement day.

jamdonut Thu 01-Aug-13 13:06:38

oops not to be a nuisance to others!

LackingEnergy Thu 01-Aug-13 13:20:04

Why would I want other peoples children in and out of my garden all the time?

Have you seen the threads on here about children and dogs or children and any animal to be honest?

I can't expect a child to remember to shut the gate properly and put the bolt back on. So dogs and chickens could escape
I can't expect them to know how to behave around dogs, especially ones loose in a garden
I can't expect them to have basic manners
I can't expect them to not interfere with the horses or the chickens
I can't expect them to not damage things
I can't expect them not to play with or accidentally break ds's toys

It is far easier to collect the various items in a box in the shed and give them back once a week. If the children come knocking then I ask for their parents to collect the item. That way the parent is just as inconvenienced as me and has some sort of understanding of just how often it happens smile

LackingEnergy Thu 01-Aug-13 13:21:01

Lets not forget that you can't have an unsupervised child near a pond, especially if that's where the ball landed

jamdonut Thu 01-Aug-13 13:35:36

I don't want children to not play in their gardens...just be taught that they have to play within the limits of the size of their garden. If you have a huge garden, detached house, then it is not unreasonable to expect your children to play ball games,carefully.
If ,like me, you have a smallish garden,with houses on top of each other (so to speak) then it is unreasonable to allow your children to be playing football in such a way that there is every chance of the ball going over the fence at any minute.
It is also unreasonable to allow your children to be throwing things over the fence on purpose,like trainers or anything not designed to be thrown.

usualsuspect Thu 01-Aug-13 13:42:50

Lol at the council house reference.

weisswusrt Thu 01-Aug-13 16:05:53

I also think that letting kids mindlessly kick a ball about for hours on end is pretty lazy parenting. But, I'm old fashioned, and think childhood is for exploring, inventing, learning and using their imaginations.

neriberi Thu 01-Aug-13 16:41:30

I'm reading this thread while sinking lower and lower into my seat in total shame blush my DS is forever losing balls over the fence but then he's only 2.5 and hasn't managed to master his "ball skills" yet, but then neither has his Dad or his Grandad.

We usually wait for the ball to come back on its own accord but then we're lucky because our neighbours are lovely grin and have boys of their own (who play football) plus they're the sort of people who would tell us if something was a real nuisance.

This would all be easily resolved if you could earn some more money and buy a detatched house with plenty of land - Have you considered that?

mumblechum1 Thu 01-Aug-13 16:53:50

After seeing next door's kid trampling over and totally wrecking a huge swathe of irises, peonies and early roses the other week to get their ball back themselves, I would definitely not invite them to get it themselves again!

I like the idea of telling the kid to get the parent round to collect it.

heidipi Thu 01-Aug-13 17:11:09

It might sound miserable to be fed up with this but it can be a right pain.

We always said the boys next door could just come and get their ball without knocking (small garden, came over every few mins) and it became a game to keep kicking it over, coming to get it back and doing a lap of the garden at the same time. Then we had to move the latch on the gate higher so DD1 couldn't get out and the kids next door couldn't reach it either, so they invented a new game of kicking it over repeatedly when I was in the garden for me to get - a bit tiresome when I was pregnant and it was over again before i even had time to sit down (think 10 times in 5 mins) and now DD2 is here I've asked them to be careful when we're in the garden so she doesn't get booted in the face with a football. that's all, very simple but their mum has got the massive hump about it, as though I've punctured all their balls in front of their little faces or something.

Every time I go near the garden I hear something dramatic like "no, I've told you darling you can't play football. the neighbours don't like it."

FFS seriously, it might sound trivial but maybe parents could just think about the annoyance level and try to limit it.

mumblechum1 Thu 01-Aug-13 17:22:34

Pah. We have a detached house with half an acre, but the boundary has to end somewhere!

VodkaJelly Thu 01-Aug-13 18:07:29

If anybody is bothered by constant footballs in their garden I will lend you my dog. Whenever I have moved or had new neighbours I have told them that if a ball/frisbee/trainer/toy lands in the garden my dog WILL chew it.

He is like greased lightning and will get the object before I can and wont give it back till it is in bits and covered in slobber. He loves footballs the best and his mission in life is to pop and kill a football in 5 seconds flat.

In the last 7 years I have only had 1 frisbee and I got to it before the dog and returned it.

aldiwhore Thu 01-Aug-13 18:11:24

Throw every ball into the other neighbour's garden.

mirry2 Thu 01-Aug-13 18:13:13

'If the children come knocking then I ask for their parents to collect the item. That way the parent is just as inconvenienced as me and has some sort of understanding of just how often it happens'

Lackingenergy - that's a great idea grin

GrimmaTheNome Thu 01-Aug-13 18:15:56

I think YABU, a bit, to resent kids kicking balls over (so long as its accidental), but the neighbours are also BU if they don't say thanks.

I've got two football-mad boys next door - we get lots of balls over. But they are so polite - if I throw the balls back when they're there, I'll always hear a 'thank you!'; when they first arrived they'd come and knock at the door to ask if they could get their ball, really nicely - till I said they could just come and get them (but to watch where they walked in case of unpicked-up dog poo). Neither the balls or the boys do any damage (the part of the garden they come into is 'nice' btw). If they were cricket-mad I might think differently but kid's footballs really aren't that hard.

The mother was very apologetic about the balls and their 'noise' (bear in mind I have a DD with friends... and a barky dog!) - took a while to get her to relax!

Come Christmas, the boys appear bearing a box of nice biccies or chocolates to thank us. smile Honestly, I don't mind the balls but its a nice gesture - everyone's happy!

mirry2 Thu 01-Aug-13 18:18:20

Grimma I think that I would be happier if my neighbours were as goood as yours

CoTananat Thu 01-Aug-13 18:40:45

My neighbour's kids do this and it is annoying. I was okay with it for the first five or six years but now they come round over and over. They knock on at the front and come through the house, probably three or four times a day on a dry day, and if I don't answer they just hammer on and yell. I do think they need space to play so I sucked it up while they were little.

The reason it annoys me is I have repeatedly offered to get a key cut for the back entry for my neighbour so the kids can get their own ball but my neighbour refuses to accept this. They're not bad kids but, well, one of them must be 14 now! When will it end? I have politely told the eldest it's pretty annoying to be continually interrupted (work from home). I don't feel like I'm a terrible misery for doing this. We all need to balance our needs in a city.

My neighbour is mostly a good sort, but I will admit I am happy to be moving away from the constant balls. Hurray moving!

whois Thu 01-Aug-13 20:44:18

It is far easier to collect the various items in a box in the shed and give them back once a week. If the children come knocking then I ask for their parents to collect the item. That way the parent is just as inconvenienced as me and has some sort of understanding of just how often it happens

This is a good plan!

Surely the accepted status quo is if a ball goes over then it's gone? And you might be very lucky to have it given back at some point but you sure as hell can't go and bother the neighbours! Or maybe my parents had me enter trained than these neighbours.

shellbot Thu 01-Aug-13 21:14:51

I think jamdonut is spot on with her 'within the limits' comment. My next door neighbour's boys kick a football about but it doesn't come over into my garden very often, however they've got a baseball bat which the garden isn't really big enough for so the ball more often than not comes over into my garden.

I throw the balls back when I'm out and see them but was very miffed one day when I was in the bath and they came to my door hammering on it, ringing the bell continually for ages because they'd knocked 3 balls over and didn't have any left. The other day one came over and hit my conservatory with a right bang. I jumped out of my skin!

GrimmaTheNome Thu 01-Aug-13 21:37:57

>Grimma I think that I would be happier if my neighbours were as goood as yours

For sure! So... everyone whose kids are doing the ball-kicking, take note!

RockOnRuby Fri 02-Aug-13 08:17:17

Jesus christ, people moan that kids these days are always on the computers/ipads, etc.

Now they're moaning that kids are out having fun in their garden. Throw them back for god's sake. They're kids

MyDarlingClementine Fri 02-Aug-13 08:36:43

Hillarious, poor poor OP.

We had this too with our old night mare neighbours. I was becoming a slave to the brat boys football obsession, not only have to listen to the very loud thud thud thud thud all day and night as he hit his ball agaisnt his wall we had the loud mums " stop it L, stop it" over and over again whilst he carried on, then you would here her say in a fond way " ooh you are cheeky". And let him carry on.

I would get everyone to sit down for dinner in the garden, ages luring DD down, everyone settled then the ball would come over, narrowly miss us, land in a flower bed and if he heard us there a cheeky shout over and over and over again until my DD left HER MEAL to throw it back.

Then the ball ent over my garden to the other garden, they were asking ME to go and ask the other neighbour to get it back.

After months of this, I put my foot down. Any time it went to the other nighbour I said they must ask them to get it back, we must not go un invited into other peopls gardens. That was called trespassing and it was agasint the law.

I would leave the ball for days before throwing it back. They would see my DD and speak to her like a slave to get their ball back.

I just do not parent like my old neighbour. If I had asked my DD to stop playing against the wall and she carried on I would simply take the ball off her. If she kept on harrasing our neighbours and interefing in their lives by several times a day throwing a ball over, I would not let her play in the garden.

I follow through on my threats. The odd ball in the garden , no problem but several times a day is disgusting and I cannot belive anyone would think its ok to do this to a neighbour?

BTW everyone loathed her DC, they were horrid brats, liked her but evryone had to stop inviting her round because the DC were out of control.

RockOnRuby Fri 02-Aug-13 08:40:09

I despair of this country sometimes.

Its a fuckin ball. Throw it back and get on with your boring lives

Sparklingbrook Fri 02-Aug-13 08:41:15

Well said Rock. Life's too short for ball wars.

usualsuspect Fri 02-Aug-13 08:42:46

I'm with you Rocky.

usualsuspect Fri 02-Aug-13 08:43:45

Sorry,Rock not Rocky grin

MyDarlingClementine Fri 02-Aug-13 08:43:48

Thats the point! Our lives were starting to revolve around this boys ball!

Its vile that people think this is OK, maybe we are talking different levels of balls going over>? I am talking several times a day every day?

Is that really OK?

MyDarlingClementine Fri 02-Aug-13 08:44:15

It could be said life is too short to be dealing with some other fuckers ball!

Sparklingbrook Fri 02-Aug-13 08:46:04

It's hardly dealing with it though is it? It doesn't take hours out of your day. confused if you are in the garden and see a ball-chuck it back?

usualsuspect Fri 02-Aug-13 08:48:50

How people can make such a drama about chucking a few balls back over is beyond me.

MyDarlingClementine Fri 02-Aug-13 08:51:01

yes it was actually, when we wernet lisitning to the thudding, it meant he had kicked it over, then we would hear the moaning to the mum, then the mum, so in the beginging i woudl STOP whatever I was doing to go and look for hte ball, to throw it back., then mins later it was over again, so i would stop what i was doing to go and throw it back, then it would happen again and i wouldnt be able at that moment to throw it back so then we would have the whining and in the begining i would feel guilty. After months of this, I got tough. enough is enough. You could hear him in our living room, we are living cheek by jowl here, -- not in large detached houses--

Sparklingbrook Fri 02-Aug-13 08:51:36

There is one in my garden as we speak usual. shock I will try and fit chucking it back into my busy day, but I don't know if I will have chance TBH.

MyDarlingClementine Fri 02-Aug-13 08:53:34

Maybe walk in our shoes usual and try it.

Also added to the fact there is no way I would allo my DC to intrude onto our neighbours in this manner.

we rarely have ball games, and our ball has on occasion like twice gone into neighbours garden, or the dogs ball in the begining when we didntg throw it well.

i wrote the ball off, and if it ever came back int was a bonus, i wouldnt knock for them, shout, harras them till i got it back, that was on one occasion let alone several times a day.

its not how i would treat others so its not how i accept others treart me either. and i wouldnt let my DC do it to others either.

GrimmaTheNome Fri 02-Aug-13 09:03:55

Its about consideration really - I don't mind my neighbour's kids and their footballs at all because they're considerate about it, were apologetic and didn't take for granted that either I'd be ball-boy or they could come and get it. So in turn I'm considerate to them - eg letting them know that when we're on holiday and DH has bolted the side gate they can ask a parent to come in and get the balls (having found 8 last time we got home - my reaction was 'poor kids' not annoyance).

But the onus is on the people with the kids to be considerate in the first place. I can see why some of you get annoyed.

Rhino71 Fri 02-Aug-13 09:06:33

The first time it happened to us, the boys knocked and asked if I could throw the ball back, after that I told them to just go in the garden and get it themselves.. issue solved.
It’s a ball…. If you are in the garden throw it back. Thousands of threads on here about kids being on XBOX and Nintendo and not getting enough exercise now they are being told off for playing outside.

Sparklingbrook Fri 02-Aug-13 09:17:09

The parents of the ball throwers should ensure they have more than one ball.

jamdonut Fri 02-Aug-13 09:44:00

Obviously, RockonRuby, it does not happen to you continuously.

I have said that I am not unreasonable and if it was just the odd ball,now and then, I wouldn't say anything about it. It is the fact that it is all the time, and they don't alter their is always hard high and fast,so that it it is inevitable that it will be over the fence any second. And also the things that are thrown over on purpose: trainers,toys,sweets,sandwiches.....

And the damage to the plants in the garden (My husband's pride and joy)

Why should I shrug and go "oh well,they just kids". As previously stated, I haven't allowed my kids to do that. They get just as indignant about it.

And as for having more than one door do and they all end up in my garden eventually,within the space of a few minutes, usually.hmm

nomoreballs Fri 02-Aug-13 10:19:07

Having just seen the youngest boy leaning over the fence and trying to spit in my fishpond I think I will keep their remaining balls for a bit longer.

I chucked back two footballs and a new tennis ball last night. Another football is stuck in my hedge and I can't reach it.

When I threw over the footballs, the girl was in the garden and starting shrieking that the ball might have hit her. hmm But it's fine if it hits me? Again no thankyou.

weisswusrt Fri 02-Aug-13 13:06:40

When people like rock get all pissy about other people not putting up with rude children, I just know they are the parents of these types of brat. Why else be so indignant when people express an irritation to dealing with them??

Sparklingbrook Fri 02-Aug-13 13:09:27

Having read nomore's last post if I were her i would be having words with the parents re the spitting if nothing else.

MrsDonaldDraper Fri 02-Aug-13 13:10:51

Rocky/Sparkling - last year I would have agreed with you, I just chucked the balls back, but now I have a newborn baby and the balls have narrowly missed her several times. What do I do? I've asked them to be careful when they're in their garden and I'm mine, but a ball still narrowly missed her.

How come they get to use their garden but I don't get to use mine?

Sparklingbrook Fri 02-Aug-13 13:12:51

I think I have done that thing of envisaging what it's like for me when I have children of 11 and 14 Donald. Not sure what would be best in your scenario.
Have you told the parents?

Anthracite Fri 02-Aug-13 13:17:50

I think you are being a bit miserable, OP.

Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

At least these kids are outside and getting exercise.

I think that if you are bothered not to throw the ball back, and wait for them to knock on your door and politely ask for it back.

MrsDonaldDraper Fri 02-Aug-13 13:26:12

I know, Sparkling, that is the only thing that in the not too distant future we will annoy them somehow!

We did tell the parents and I know they had a word with the children. I suspect though that the children aren't telling the parents when the balls come over (they've taken your advice and have loads! grin)

We currently have 5 in the garden. When they come back from holiday we'll probably take them round to the parents. I did like the suggestion from one poster about talking about the lack of ball handling skills - the boy is footballer and does a lot of training, so mentioning that might appeal to his competitive side..

LackingEnergy Fri 02-Aug-13 13:43:53

Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

No, any game that could inconvenience neighbours or break something was a park or field game only. This may have been due to our parents (pre children) having their greenhouse broken several times by children playing with balls etc in their gardens

Sparklingbrook Fri 02-Aug-13 13:47:39

If I had a newborn I would probably keep the balls a bit longer TBH Donald.

Osmiornica Fri 02-Aug-13 13:51:32

Every now and then is fine but several times a day over a short period of time is a pain and i'd find it very annoying.

We used to get golf balls over into our very small garden. I had no idea where they were coming from - they just used to land from a height in our garden. Once one landed just a foot away from my 3 month old which gave me a real fright and I stopped using the garden after that. I did should out to whoever it was to stop but they continued for some months - I'm guessing they moved or something as they didn't return the next summer - or maybe they ran out of balls as I'd just put them in the bin

It's not about being miserable just expecting a certain amount of respect from you neighbours.

Osmiornica Fri 02-Aug-13 13:52:14

erm, that should be shout not 'should out'

BrianTheMole Fri 02-Aug-13 17:54:26

Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

No never. Probably because our parents took us to the park to do that, rather than turf us out into the garden with a ball to keep annoying the neighbours with. My parents had this weird idea that it would be rude to keep kicking footballs into next doors garden and damage their plants etc. Not sure why, they're only boring plants after all.

ChestyNut Fri 02-Aug-13 18:32:32

chestydog has eaten a grand total of 3 balls today.
He thinks its christmas grin

I've repeatedly told the DC that if ball comes over he'll eat it, doesn't seem to have improved their ball skills.

Hopefully parents will get sick of replacing balls and take them to the park.

WhirlyByrd Fri 02-Aug-13 18:46:03

My parents had a rule that if a ball went over once you could knock for it. If it went over again, you were being a PITA to the neighbours and had to come in.

mumblechum1 Fri 02-Aug-13 19:38:19

How people can make such a drama about chucking a few balls back over is beyond me.

It's not the throwing of the balls that's the problem. It's the damage to the plants, some of which cost £50 plus to replace when they have a bloody space hopper land on them, plus the inconvenience of having to source the right plant at the right time etc etc .

If the garden was just a square of lawn I wouldn't give a monkeys, but it's not, it's 10 to 15 feet deep herbaceous borders which dh spends all winter planning.

VenusSurprising Fri 02-Aug-13 19:45:45

Don't give them back.
You have a right to sit in your own garden without the risk of being hit by flying missiles.

Let them go to the park for ball games.

And get a glasshouse, and charge them for breaking glass, if they do.

libertine73 Fri 02-Aug-13 20:00:22


BrianTheMole Fri 02-Aug-13 17:54:26
Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

No never. Probably because our parents took us to the park to do that, rather than turf us out into the garden with a ball to keep annoying the neighbours with. My parents had this weird idea that it would be rude to keep kicking footballs into next doors garden and damage their plants etc. Not sure why, they're only boring plants after all.

^^This, totally.

My parents went apeshit with DB and I the one time our ball went over the fence. They were so upset that we had not shown any consideration for our neighbours.

And we had a very tiny garden, so if we could manage to play with our ball within the limits of our own garden, then so can all these other inconsiderate kids.

It is possible to do this without spoiling the fun.

Rhino71 Sat 03-Aug-13 06:02:26

Parents do take their kids to the park to play, but sometimes kids will want to play in the garden, you can't spend 24 hours in a park or field. It's a ball throw the bloody thing back and let them carry on playing. Golf balls is a completely different matter and I would be having a word with the parents.

TheFallenNinja Sat 03-Aug-13 06:37:55

I have a deal with the lads next door each time a ball comes over they can come and get it without having to knock, but, each time they owe me £1000.

So far they owe me £4.3 million, I can't wait for them to start earning.

jamdonut Sun 04-Aug-13 20:38:07

Anthracite Fri 02-Aug-13 13:17:50
I think you are being a bit miserable, OP.

Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

At least these kids are outside and getting exercise.

I think that if you are bothered not to throw the ball back, and wait for them to knock on your door and politely ask for it back.

I'm not the OP but answering anyway:
Yes of course I did.Rarely. But I did not expect to necessarily get it back.That is how I was brought up

Not saying they shouldn't be in their gardens getting excercise:just want them to take more care/have respect for neighbours.

How many times is it reasonable to have someone knock on your door in the space of one day to ask for their ball back? Would you really not get fed up with it?

FourGates Sun 04-Aug-13 20:59:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SelectAUserName Sun 04-Aug-13 21:07:58

Those who think the OP and others are miserable minnies moaning about something that is "hardly an inconvenience" are welcome to come and spend a few sunny hours in my parents' garden.

My parents are in their 60s, have lived in their house for 40 years, so are excused from "not noticing there were children there when they viewed the house", are now retired and their garden is their pride and joy. They regularly have balls coming over the seven foot fence from all three sides - as in, anything up to 10-12 times a day in total, every sunny weekend/holiday day, which means 10-12 rings on the doorbell, increasing in length if they don't sprint to the door, or shouts of "can we have the ball back?" (never a "please" or a "thank you" unless one of my parents prompts them) over the fence.

They have had panes of glass broken in their greenhouse - miraculously all three neighbours denied all knowledge of those particular balls; they have had drinks knocked off their garden table without an apology; have had fragile and delicate plants that my dad nurtured from seed squashed and broken; ditto. One of the neighbours is slightly less irritating and has started to get the message, in as much as they have written "sorry I have landed in your garden, please can you return me?" on a couple of the bigger balls, but the other two remain ignorant and entitled.

So yes, it IS an inconvenience. My parents just want to enjoy their garden quietly in their twilight years without the incessant thud-thud-thudding of balls against fences, dodging accident or injury and being expected to act as retrievers the second a ball flies into their garden. They don't want to stop children playing out in the fresh air, they would just like a little consideration.

weisswusrt Mon 05-Aug-13 09:16:27

If fourgates let's her dog shit in my garden, I'm rubbing hers and her dogs nose in it.

HappyMummyOfOne Mon 05-Aug-13 11:24:27

Just pop them back over the fence, dont see what the problem is. They dont appear to be breaking panes of glass etc so not doing any harm.

We have a keen footballer next door and his very often come over. I throw them back over if outside but if not he knows to just pop round and retrieve himself. Its fairly relaxed here though with most of the neighbours. Our drive is steep and great for skateboarding etc so theres sometimes a child playing although most are grow up and teens now.

cantspel Mon 05-Aug-13 12:17:54

There is no need for footballs coming over the fence. It is just inconsiderate and shows lack of respect for your neighbors property. Just because you dont care if a ball lands on your plants or bangs against your fence doesn't mean your neighbors dont care either.

I am a keen gardener and one stray ball could ruin months of hard work or completely destroy an expensive plant. Why should i not have a problem with this?

Children dont have to give up ball games and go and sit infront of a screen instead. You can buy swing ball for tennis type games and something very similar for football. The ball is in a net on elastic fixed to a stake in the ground. The children can kick it to their hearts content and it is never going to leave their garden.

Tiredmumno1 Mon 05-Aug-13 14:26:19

Weiss I think you'll find fourgates was angry about what you do.

Which she has every reason to be obviously, hence her example.

It's dangerous, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Andro Mon 05-Aug-13 14:51:39

I get fed up when the balls smash through my greenhouse...I was livid when one such incident landed DS in A&E for glass removal and stitches (the culprit's mother couldn't understand why I was so furious either). It's not as if my greenhouse is small, hidden away or was there before my neighbors were.

Eyesunderarock Mon 05-Aug-13 14:59:19

I think a lot of parents would change their minds if they were liable for the damage done by footballs.
if your garden isn't suitable for football, then there are hundreds of alternatives to play that don't involve mass destruction of other people's plants, greenhouses and bashing their children with random missiles.
You really don't have the right to inflict that level of PITAness on other people, however much joy the child gets from it.

notallytuts Mon 05-Aug-13 15:13:25

tbh, if you dont want dogshit on your football you should probably keep it under control in your own, shit-free garden!

SoftKittyWarmKitty Mon 05-Aug-13 15:21:02

This is going to be a discussion on The Wright Stuff tomorrow grin.

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 15:23:52

<waves to lazy-arsed TWS researchers>

weisswusrt Mon 05-Aug-13 16:06:46

Exactly notally, and nobody forced the brats to then pick up the ball and rub the shit in their eyes. Sorry folks, but zero shame felt here.

Rhino71 Mon 05-Aug-13 16:37:25

Weisswusrt.. Fuck off

weisswusrt Mon 05-Aug-13 16:38:24

Um, no.

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 16:39:31

Well what a lovely thread. Eww at all these gardens covered in dog poo. sad

libertine73 Mon 05-Aug-13 16:42:34

Yes, this is going well isn't it?!

<<<<<discovers longlost affection for own neighbours>>>>>

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 16:43:44

Another bonkers day on MN. grin

LackingEnergy Mon 05-Aug-13 16:46:25

There are areas of the garden that shock horror dog owners let their dogs poo in shock That poo may only be picked up once a day/every few days. So there is a risk of balls landing in poo, I would never deliberately smear poo on a ball but I won't wipe it off if the ball lands in a pile.

If your childs potential contact with dog poo bothers you then you'll keep ball games to your garden or in a park/field if your child can't keep balls in their garden smile

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 16:48:34

Every few days?

LackingEnergy Mon 05-Aug-13 16:54:52

We have 3 large dogs and an area of garden specifically for them to poo in. Ds never goes in this area and the poo is picked up every day, but if you only have one dog or one or two small ones then you really don't need to pick it up every day if you don't have kids

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 16:59:52

I vaguely remember it from childhood. My Mother wandering up the garden with dog poo on the end of a shovel to the dog toilet at the bottom of the garden that my Dad built and dog ignored. Sometimes the dog ate it. sad

I think that might be why I am not a dog owner now. grin

Ham69 Mon 05-Aug-13 17:32:01

Weiss, you sound lovely.
"Lazy parenting letting a child kick a ball about in the garden." Are you serious?
I spend hours at parks, libraries, etc., with my DC. But sometimes, all my 6 year old DS wants to do is kick a ball about in the garden. I love the way you say you're old fashioned. Of course, children didn't kick a ball about in the good old days! Get over yourself.

weisswusrt Mon 05-Aug-13 17:53:37

Nice editing of my post, ham.....quote properly if you want to get bitchy.

babybythesea Mon 05-Aug-13 18:05:51

I've changed my views since my grandparents got new neighbours.
I used to be of the 'it's just kids, throw it back and what's the harm?' school of thought.
But I've changed my mind.

My grandparents are in their 90s (91 and 97 to be precise) and are still more than capable of living in their own home. My granddad (the 97 year old) still loves to garden although he has a gardener now to help with the heavier stuff.
They have new neighbours. With that has come balls over fence and demands to return them. They're in their 90s and don't want to be hopping up and down to return the balls, or to answer the door several times a day when the child wants her ball back. Neither do they want the plants they've spent 50 years tending battered. They can't let the child in to get her own ball - they've got a little dog who a) can't see and is spooked easily b) doesn't like children and c) might get out if she forgets to close the gate.
And they especially don't appreciate her jumping up and down on her trampoline, pushed right up against their fence, watching them in their garden and asking them if they could get her ball now.
They've spoken to her mother. She can't see the problem with her daughter using her trampoline as a way to see into their garden and has said to just ignore her if they don't want to give her ball back. Which is easier said than done if they are sitting outside having a cup of tea and she's leaping up and down calling out at them.

Salmotrutta Mon 05-Aug-13 18:11:13

Anyone who deliberately covered a child's ball in dog crap would be lower down the evolutionary chain than a flatworm.

And if anyone had done anything like that to me or mine they'd have been very, very sorry.

I don't really swear on here much so I won't call you what I'd like to weisswurt. I'll just think it instead. I will, however, point out that you must be a really nasty piece of work to do that.

I would eventually get fed up of returning footballs etc. especially if they caused damage but I'd speak to the parent and let them know if damage had been caused.

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 18:14:12

I presumed everyone took their dogs to our local junior football pitches for a crap anyway-not in their back gardens. Someone has to go round with the 'poo shovel' prior to kick off. Because believe it or not, children don't want to handle a ball covered in dog poo.

LackingEnergy Mon 05-Aug-13 18:29:10

I presumed everyone took their dogs to our local junior football pitches for a crap anyway-not in their back gardens. Someone has to go round with the 'poo shovel' prior to kick off

Eww sad

I don't like picking up my own dogs poop at the best of times, I'd hate having to pick up other peoples dog poop too

weisswusrt Mon 05-Aug-13 18:30:00

News flash salmo, not everyone in life is a pushover willing to toss balls back never-endingly. You think calling me nasty hurts?? Not one bit, I own my mean streak, and work it like a pro!

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 18:32:35

It's bizarre Lacking the pitches are all marked out with white paint. it would be horrible but not as bad if it was on the bits not marked out, but always in the goalmouth. sad

Football coaches shouldn't have to do that. sad

Sorry for dog poo tangent.

Salmotrutta Mon 05-Aug-13 18:33:19

I'm not willing to never ending lay throw balls back multiple times a day.

But I wouldn't be vindictive either.

You carry on working that mean streak like a pro though... hmm

Until someone meaner comes along.

HoikyPoiky Mon 05-Aug-13 18:33:26

My neighbours kids kicked thins over the fence most days. I didnt mind but I didn't race out to throw them straight back either. I threw them back when it suited me. If they were polite I would have made more of an effort.

Salmotrutta Mon 05-Aug-13 18:34:36

never-endingly! <sigh>

weisswusrt Mon 05-Aug-13 18:48:49

Salmo, your nose would be getting rubbed in shit along with four gates if you think you could make me 'very sorry'.

Salmotrutta Mon 05-Aug-13 18:56:06

Oh, OK, you win weiss.

You have run rings round me with your dazzling repartee.


Salmotrutta Mon 05-Aug-13 18:57:14

I'm not going to further de-rail the thread- sorry OP.

Sparklingbrook Mon 05-Aug-13 18:59:24

I think the train of the thread was derailed at the first mention of dog poo TBH Salmo. It has now careered off the track completely. grin

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Mon 05-Aug-13 19:06:54


Are you for real? Do people like you really exist?

OP I have balls in my garden all day long - I simply pass them back, it's very simple, sometimes if I'm feeling energetic I kick them back, we actually share our balls too, my DS is playing with next doors just now.

ghostspirit Mon 05-Aug-13 19:10:55

summer holidays gosh balls and children playing must be causing a madness. yes adults do want to enjoy their garden but so do children. wonder if them moaning about balls going over fences ever done the same when they were a child.

babybythesea Mon 05-Aug-13 19:13:52

It's been about 90 years since my granddad was a child who may have kicked balls over the garden fence. I suspect he got a wallop for it if he did! He's earned the right not to have to have a child shouting at him from her trampoline to get her ball back several times a day.

Eyesunderarock Mon 05-Aug-13 19:19:41

Yes, we played in the garden as children and sometimes in the street.
Being army brats, order and discipline was maintained because if the children were very challenging, or anti-social, your dad was called in for a word with his CO, and if he didn't deal with it then he was held responsible.
My dad did a month of weekend guard duties because of The Thing My Brother Did when he was 9.
When I was a bratling in Yorkshire, I was in a mining town and all the miners had fabulous gardens and allotments and the like. Break and smash their pride and joy, and they'd have skelpt your bum.
But that was the 60s for you, a village raising a child and all that.

ghostspirit Mon 05-Aug-13 19:21:55

i don't think children should get a wallop for their ball going over the fence :/ although the child jumping on the trampoline and shouting for her ball back is also not ok. But it child's mind she just wants her ball back. i doubt that a child would think oh i think i will annoy the elderly people next door.

in general terms works both ways child can't play in their garden because next door/adults are having tea in their garden. and the adults cant have their quite time because the child wants to play

Nanny0gg Mon 05-Aug-13 19:23:36

So let me get this straight - because some of you don't mind being pestered for balls to be returned, don't care about valuable plants being damaged/destroyed, haven't got an expensive greenhouse/conservatory and are happy for balls to hit pets/DC/yourselves, the posters that do object are BU.


Eyesunderarock Mon 05-Aug-13 19:25:22

Correct Nanny Ogg. grin

Nanny0gg Mon 05-Aug-13 20:37:05

Just so's we're clear Eyesunderarock, Just so's we're clear grin

Eyesunderarock Mon 05-Aug-13 21:24:13

I wanted your NN you know, she's my favourite character by far from DW. I was given Nanny Ogg's Cookbook a few years back and it has cheered me through many a gloomy winter. grin

Nanny0gg Tue 06-Aug-13 00:05:21

Sorry I got there first! grin

My favourite character is Sam Vimes, but I didn't think it suited. So I went for my next favourites and as I am a Nanny (rather than a Granny) I went with this name.

FourGates Tue 06-Aug-13 08:59:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewNameForNewTerm Tue 06-Aug-13 09:08:35

I eventually chuck back any that come my way. But if I don't notice then and my dog gets them too bad if he destroys them. What I do get annoyed at is the neighbour who expected me to replace the expensive ball that came over and my dog punctured. If it is in his garden how can he not think it is one of his balls. I don't feel I am liable for the damage to something that comes over a 6'+ fence on to my property. Is that unreasonable?

Eyesunderarock Tue 06-Aug-13 09:11:47

No, I reckon that a few consumed balls with help them improve and refine their skills to avoid constant replacement.

LackingEnergy Tue 06-Aug-13 09:13:01

Not unreasonable at all New bloody cheeky of the neighbours though

It's not ok for you or anything you throw to come on my property. I have plants, a dog and a greenhouse.

If it damages any of those I will be claiming the cost of the damage from your parents.

I don't let my children play with balls in the garden, that's what the park is for - in our garden they can play other games.

Infringing on other people is NOT ok.

Sparklingbrook Tue 06-Aug-13 10:45:59

Morning. This is about to be discussed on The Wright Stuff. What a surprise.

Sparklingbrook Tue 06-Aug-13 10:51:12

Yay! nomoreballs OP got shown on screen and she got a mention.

EllesAngel Tue 06-Aug-13 11:03:43

While I wouldn't deliberately smear dog poo over a ball I wouldn't be cleaning it off before handing it back either.

I find it interesting that those who thing the OP and those who agree with her are 'meanies' seem to be ignoring the damage to gardens, the inconvenience to elderly people and the danger to babies/very young children wink

EllesAngel Tue 06-Aug-13 11:06:21

That was supposed to be a hmm not a wink, that's what happens when you get distracted.

Tiredmumno1 Tue 06-Aug-13 11:57:31

Your famous nomoreballs wink grin

LackingEnergy Tue 06-Aug-13 14:23:24

The Wright Stuff was a bit shite. A quick 1-2 mins for each person to say what they would do which was return the ball. Yep they would stop what they were doing and return the ball however many times a day the fools, they'll never get anything done . They either had no garden, never experienced the problem or have children who cause the problem.

Will stick to what I've been doing thanks, 6 balls came over today. They will be returned on sunday. The one that hit ds may have met a untimely fate but it entertained the dogs and entertained dogs make ds happy

LackingEnergy Tue 06-Aug-13 14:24:24

was shock at the guy who said he lifted his dc over the neighours fence to get their ball back

nomoreballs Tue 06-Aug-13 14:45:50

Woo Hoo! I missed it this morning so am watching it online now.

I collected all 7 balls last night and chucked them back. 2 have returned this morning and I may chuck them back later if I go to the end of the garden. It did annoy me that one hit the rabbit run and scared her as she is a new rescue and still nervous.

I would never damage or rub the balls in dog poop but I won't run out to throw them back for children who won't even say thanks.

Rhino71 Tue 06-Aug-13 15:38:46

224 posts have been summed up perfectly by one from nonoreballs. If you are in the garden then throw it back. If you are not then don't rush out to do so. Simple.

Sparklingbrook Tue 06-Aug-13 16:02:32

And Matthew Wright researchers are cheeky buggers Rhino. grin

nomoreballs Tue 06-Aug-13 16:48:40

I'm famous! Let me bask in my ball-hating glory!

HoikyPoiky Tue 06-Aug-13 17:41:09

...but will you be able to tell anyone in real life grin

At least you namechanged

Millais Wed 21-Aug-13 11:48:28

A few weeks ago we looked out and saw a small child in our garden. He was about 3 years old and just sitting crying by the fence. We went out and tried to find out name and where he'd come from- we have a high fence and locked gates but he wasn't speaking. The door bell rang and a frantic man was standing there asking if we had found his son. Apparently the older brothers had lowered him over the back fence to get a ball and then the plan had failed as the fence is higher on our side as the lane at the back is banked. We didn't recognise them as they were just visiting people behind us. grin
We did throw the ball back too.

Misspixietrix Wed 21-Aug-13 13:23:52

YABU. I do the same as FlatMum when I go to the put the rubbish out in the Evening I throw them back over. Or if they have asked me once I tell them to help themselves any time. The Neighbours do the same if mine accidently throw one over ~

PresidentServalan Wed 21-Aug-13 13:41:58

We had small children next door, one of which was football mad but he managed not to do that. Just explain that if any more come over the fence you will burst them/throw them in the bin. The children shouldn't be coming to your door or going into your garden if you don't want them to, you have a right to enjoy your property without that happening.

PresidentServalan Wed 21-Aug-13 13:50:08

Weiss - love the rolling it in dog shit idea! grin also the OP saying that neighbours allowed their cat to shit in their garden - unlike children, cats can't be taught not to do it!

SE13Mummy Wed 21-Aug-13 14:48:53

Our DCs have avoided playing with balls in the garden so as to avoid any wayward balls landed in the garden of poo that was the other side of our fence.

12 years after moving in, we have new neighbours who are keen gardeners and have transformed the poo garden into a beautifully green lawn. However, the beautiful garden now gets used. All day, and most of the night too, by loud, expletive-using older teenagers/young adults. Most of the time they are playing pool but they also play football too.

As a result we've had a few leather footballs land in our garden - balls that have been returned when we've spotted them. More worrying than the leather footballs is the pool ball that came flying into our garden (over a 6ft fence). We had been inside at the time to avoid the foul language and skunk so neither of our young DCs were at risk of being injured, thankfully. One of the guys came round and asked for the pool ball back which DH fetched...I'd have had more to say about their playing skill/lack of angry.

LayMizzRarb Wed 21-Aug-13 14:49:53

Cats can be taught not to shit in your garden. Wait until they have dug up your newly planted bulbs, and squatting above the hole. Then point the hose at them.
They soon learn, after 3 or 4 soakings!

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