Woman on bus told me to move seats because she was allergic to my cats. Who was BU?

(135 Posts)
EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 17:38:19

Just in from the vets and rushing to get dinner sorted so shall make this quick-ish.

My kittens had a check up today at the vets. I don't drive, so me and dd took the bus with them in their pet carrier.

A woman was blocking the aisle with her legs out and shopping trolley so i asked if she could please move to let us by. She made a face as she looked at my pet carrier but finally moved and let us sit in the two seats behind her.

Then she starts coughing. After a minute of it, she turned round and informed me she's highly allergic of cats and they cause her breathing difficulties. I apologised and said I'd put them on the floor by my feet instead of on my lap, but she said that would't make any difference. She suggested i find somewhere else to sit.

The bus was unusually busy. There were only two seats left, but they weren't together. One had a dripping wet carrier bag on it (looked like a tub of spilled curry sauce inside) and the other was at the back of the bus between a group of loud (seemed very drunk to me) people playing music and talking about not so nice things...

I told her that dd won't sit on my lap and I needed two seats together so would be staying put.

Next time the bus stopped, she got up to speak to the driver! She didn't even try being quiet. I was mortified. She said that she was struggling to breathe because of my manky cats and that they shouldn't be allowed on public transport. And that her shopping is covered in fur now.

The driver asked her repeatedly to sit down, there's nothing he could do. Then he asked me how much further i was going. I told him still a fair bit, as the vets is in a different town. After another few minutes of arguing, the driver firmly told her to sit down or she'd need to get off.

Everyone was laughing at this point. The people up the back were calling crude things down to me thinking they were hilarious. ("I don't mind your pussy being on board etc etc") blush

Anyway, she sat back down and we set off again. She sat there swearing under her breath and coughing. Three stops later, she got up again and demanded a refund as she had to get off now or else she'd get seriously ill.

I'm not undermining allergies in any way, but what was i supposed to do? The driver said he doesn't do refunds as he doesn't handle the money and she'd have to write to head office. Ten minutes of arguing later, she got off.

I was 20 minutes late for my appointment because of her! Luckily i had a double appointment booked, but it meant the vet had to rush and do two cats in the space of one.

So, dare i ask? Who was BU? Please say it wasn't me. I feel rotten about it already. But i don't know what i could have done differently.

Whogivesashit Tue 30-Jul-13 17:46:24

YANBU. At all. The woman was a stupid cow. I would have told her to fuck off! Don't let it bother you, she's not worth a second thought.

OwlinaTree Tue 30-Jul-13 17:47:09

Well if there were 2 spare seats further away couldn't she have moved if she was bothered? Or did she have someone with her too?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 30-Jul-13 17:47:23

She was. If it were so bad she would have or should have moved. But I don't get how her shopping was covered in fur if she was two seats away?

saintmerryweather Tue 30-Jul-13 17:48:25

she could have moved if it was bothering her that much

orangeandemons Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:31

She. Was a cow. I am speaking as one who is severely very severely allergic to cats. It isn't the hair,it's the dander. A cat got knocked down on our road, and I picked it up. I held it for 30 seconds and was wheezing and itching.

I would have just moved in her place, or depending on how long the journey was, just stuck it out.

Sparklingbrook Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:35

She should have moved,

Can we see a pic of the kittens?

fluffyraggies Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:35

Her allergy, her problem. In this situation. IMO.

Why should you get off a bus because of someone else's allergy? confused

Trills Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:36

You were both using the bus legitimately, within the rules.

She wanted you to move. She didn't want to move herself.

You didn't want anyone to move.

Therefore moving is her issue, not yours.

trixymalixy Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:46

My DS has multiple allergies including to cats. She WBU not you.

curlew Tue 30-Jul-13 17:51:14

She out herself in the wrong by the way she handled it. But if she had been behaving like a sensible human being, then I think it was up to you to move- you were the one who brought the thing she was allergic to onto the bus- it's up to you to make sure nobody's inconvenienced by your cats.

But she behaved like a loon, so deserves no sympathy.

sameoldIggi Tue 30-Jul-13 17:52:08

Was she unable to move/elderly etc? You mention legs sticking out/shopping trolley. Checking there are not good reasons why you, rather than she, needed to be the one to move!

ClaraOswald Tue 30-Jul-13 17:53:08

YANBU. If there were seats further away and she was on her own, she should have moved herself.

Amibambini Tue 30-Jul-13 17:53:20

To be honest, it sounds like she was being a bit of a drama queen. Her shopping is covered in fur? Oh really? Some people aren't happy unless they are causing a scene.

I'm quite allergic to cats, and if I am near enough to one to cause a problem, I'd move, as my priority would be to not get sick. I wouldn't waste time arguing with the said cat person.

My verdict - she a cray-cray lay-day.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 17:53:47

I am with the others. She should have moved.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 17:54:26

And I am impressed someone struggling to breathe had so much energy to argue!

Trills Tue 30-Jul-13 17:54:30

Iggi

Checking there are not good reasons why you, rather than she, needed to be the one to move!

In the OP it says that she got up to talk to the driver more than once so presumably could have sat down somewhere else while she was doing it, if there were seats.

kali110 Tue 30-Jul-13 17:54:40

She yanbu!she sounds like a rude stuck up woman. If she didnt like it she should have moved. I have to take my rabbit and hedgehog on the bus because i dont drive.theyre put in the carrier and are no trouble. Tbh she sounded arrogant before you got on the bus. If she doesnt like public transfer she should get a taxi

5madthings Tue 30-Jul-13 17:56:09

she should have moved.

i am allergic to cats and i would just have moved if it was making me wheezy/itchy.

I don't like cats (not allergic) so would normally be more sympathetic to the person who asked you to move, but actually it sounds like she was BveryU. i don't see why she couldn't have moved herself and sat on a single empty seat, which was obviously not an option for a mother with a young child. Neither do I understand why her shopping would have been covered in cat hair. (laughing at pussy remark though blush --probably wouldn't be if it aimed at me--)

Nancy66 Tue 30-Jul-13 17:57:30

She sounds a bit unhinged.

I'm allergic to cat fur but I usually have to have some contact with either fur or saliva for it to kick off.

Sounds like she was hamming it up a bit.

On another note I hate people on public transport who won't move/uncross their legs when you're trying to get by.

loopydoo Tue 30-Jul-13 17:57:40

I wonder whether she would have asked a blind person to move with a guide dog if she had a dog allergy?

Tbh, I didn't realise people were allowed to take pets on buses but I think she was plain rude and lacking in interpersonal skills (she should go on a course grin) and she should have moved.

kali110 Tue 30-Jul-13 17:58:41

Plus how exactly did her shopping get covered in fur?bit hard if they stayed in the carrier!public transport is for everyone. Smoke sets my asthma off. Was on bus yesterday and someone who clearly smoked a lot sat in front of me. They smelt so strong of smoke it set me off. Did i tell him to move?did i heck!i sat elsewhere and didnt make a scene to embarrass the poor bloke.

Treagues Tue 30-Jul-13 17:59:09

Neither of you was BU. (Is that option even allowed on MN? grin )

You are allowed to have cats on the bus, it was busy, and you couldn't move.

She is highly allergic to cats, probably quite distressed about that, felt she shouldn't have to have an allergic reaction on the bus, and tried to sort it.

Just a bit of an unfortunate situation really.

catsmother Tue 30-Jul-13 17:59:11

She should have moved - sounds like there was no good reason she couldn't do so. As for fur all over her shopping that's ridiculous - unless you have Persian kittens and had them out on your lap brushing them and blowing the fur in her direction .....

figrus Tue 30-Jul-13 17:59:53

You weren't being unreasonable by staying on the bus. But you were being unmannerly by not moving when she was distressed by your kittens. Poor woman.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:02:07

Swbu. Her allergy, her problem to deal with. It wasn't down to you to move, but her. Imo.

She was BU but I admit, when at the start of an allergic reaction, I'm not exactly in the most reasonable frame of mind and don't see the easy ways out. So I get very, very angry at, for example, the DC doing this/that when really, I should just get out of the situation!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Tue 30-Jul-13 18:03:18

Clearly a stealth boast about having kittens..!

wink

You weren't being unreasonable, she sounds like the kind of person who'd complain about anything and possibly was pissed of by being asked to move so you could get pass.

catsmother Tue 30-Jul-13 18:03:21

But Figrus - the OP had a small child with her too and there were no other two seats next to each other .....

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 18:04:41

Thanks everyone for the replies. I'm just concerned she's gone off home and is having some sort of coughing fit. I also feel bad she had to get off the bus early, lengthening her walk home.

She was sitting in a special seat for elderly/disabled persons so i didn't like to suggest she moved to one of the 'unsavoury' spare seats in case i offended her.

I don't know what i could have done differently though. Dd can't sit alone so i definitely needed two seats together. And the ones i was sitting on were the last ones available.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 18:05:20

Where did you want the op to move too figrus?

The other woman could easily have moved if it was causing her that much distress

Whothefuckfarted Tue 30-Jul-13 18:06:11

Please please please tell me you told HER to move to the spare seats???

YANBU. What a tit she sounds.

Pictures of the kittens or it didn't happen!
grin

figrus Tue 30-Jul-13 18:07:29

I would have stood at the bus at the back with dd and kittens on floor.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 18:09:20

why should she stand when she doesn't need to? the op was doing nothing wrong. It was the other woman who had the problem, and she was alone so no reason she couldn't move.

You would also wonder why nobody else on the bus offered to swap seats just to keep the peace!

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:10:02

Was it a proper cough, or a person who doesn't like smoking walking past a smoker 'cough'.

expatinscotland Tue 30-Jul-13 18:10:35

YANBU. She was. Ridiculous, too.

deepfriedsage Tue 30-Jul-13 18:13:57

I don't understand how she got fur on her shopping. If you can take pets on the bus she was out of order.

Roshbegosh Tue 30-Jul-13 18:15:21

Princess DD won't sit on your lap? Precious. If the woman has allergies to animals then it was a problem for her and you could have tried to be more sympathetic rather than selfishly upset her given she had paid her fare. Dont know how she made you late, hope there wasn't somewhere she had to be. You, DD and animals could have got off instead.

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 18:16:29

I shall try to upload a wee picture in a minute. smile They're 5 months so quite big-ish.

No, i didn't ask her to move. One seat was covered in curry sauce and the other was sandwiched between the 'pussy' comment-makers. Also, she was sitting in an elderly/disabled person's seat so i didn't want to offend her by suggesting she sit elsewhere.

The back of the bus had people sitting there, Figrus. It's a row of chairs. And i really didn't want to put my dd any closer to them because they were being so noisy and bad mouthed and she was already distressed by them despite being half a bus away.

I definitely would've moved if there was somewhere else to go to, but there wasn't. My only other choice would have been to get off the bus,

ClaraOswald Tue 30-Jul-13 18:18:00

Given that this woman got up on more than one occasion to argue with the driver, I would be doubtful she had as severe an allergy as she was making out.

ALSO, given that she quite obviously lied to the driver, she was out to cause a scene and have it all her own way. Instead the bus driver stayed firm and she ended up looking like a spoilt brat.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:20:11

Roghbegosh - nah.

expatinscotland Tue 30-Jul-13 18:23:23

I wouldn't have moved at all. Her allergy, her problem.

Dackyduddles Tue 30-Jul-13 18:23:58

If she was allergic as far as I'm concerned the mere fact you were on the bus was enough ie moving seats makes no difference.

She was bu and should take care of her own health first up to and including getting off said bus if required, plainly that's actually what she wanted.

Wonder if it were peanuts would she have stopped you eating chocolate? I think her reaction OTT but and this is a big BUT if genuine then it's down to her to act accordingly. Not you as the person who doesn't know her.

alreadytaken Tue 30-Jul-13 18:24:07

drip feeding information. You forced a woman who was having breathing difficulties to get off a bus after she'd paid her fare because you didn't want to sit next to some people who were being noisy. Is there some reason your child couldn't stand next to your seat/ sit on your lap with the pet carrier at your feet? Why does your dd being distressed by people come before a possibly elderly or disabled womans right to finish her journey?

She should have moved if she could but I'm wondering why she didn't - perhaps she could't manage to move her shopping while struggling to breathe.

Dackyduddles Tue 30-Jul-13 18:24:33

Sorry wanted you to do ie get off the bus

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 18:26:41

her breathing wasn't that bad if she was able to get up and talk to the bus driver for what seems like quite a length of time!

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 18:27:37

Roshbegosh - my dd had paid for her ticket, too. So was equally as entitled to her very own seat. And no, she really couldn't have sat on my lap.

And i didn't know when the next bus would be arriving so didn't get off. I didn't want to miss my appointment (although i was 20 minutes late anyway even staying on the bus).

If there was any other available seats together, of course i would have moved.

AnnabelleLee Tue 30-Jul-13 18:28:25

How did she make you 20 mins late? there is no way she could have delayed the bus for that long.
YWBBU.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:28:47

Or maybe she's just an attention seeker alreadytaken, getting up and down out of her seat to involving the bus driver and making a scene, rather than just taking responsibility for herself and sitting elsewhere, like a person with an actual severe allergy would. wink

Ywnbu OP - I'd bet my last tenner she is a crank who likes a show.

Branleuse Tue 30-Jul-13 18:29:40

she sounds like a fruitcake. unlucky

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:30:42

cough cough cough cough cough cough

I'm allergic to the letter A - you'll all have to go and post elsewhere. Now.

Roshbegosh Tue 30-Jul-13 18:31:45

A passenger who has to sit in the elderly / disabled section who starts to have difficulty breathing. Yes OP fuck her.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:32:52

And who got up and down to speak to the driver.....

expatinscotland Tue 30-Jul-13 18:33:47

Obviously able to breathe enough to get up and rant again and again.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:34:27

Put it this way - if I had a severe allergy to cats, and someone got on the bus with a pet carrier containing two, and sat right behind me....I'd remove myself. I wouldn't dream of making my problem someone else's like that.

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 18:34:59

Roshbegosh, i do really feel for her as i appreciate how debilitating allergies can be. But the only thing i could have done was get off the bus and wait for the next. Since i wasn't sure when the next one would be arriving, i stayed.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 18:39:13

Rosh -

We don't know she was sat in the disabled seats.

We do know she was well and mobile enough to move around the bus to complain to the driver!

ProudAS Tue 30-Jul-13 18:41:03

YANBU this woman sounds rude, aggressive and just out to cause a scene.

I don't like the "your allergy your problem" mentality though. Someone with an allergy had as much right as anyone else to enjoy and complete their journey. I wonder whether MNers would have taken that attitude if the OP was eating a bag of peanuts and another passenger had a nut allergy.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:43:19

Yes I would. Sorry.

If I had an allergy, when it came to public places, like a bus, I would see it as my responsibility to remove myself, if someone happened along innocently toting the thing I was allergic to...whther that be two cats in a basket or a snickers bar.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 18:43:52

Proud as - my sister has a nut allergy and in that situation she would have got off the bus.

The only public transport where she asks for nuts not to be eaten (and has a doctors note to support this) is airplanes because its not that easy to move away then

ENormaSnob Tue 30-Jul-13 18:44:08

Yanbu

Its not like you shoved your pussy in her face.

5madthings Tue 30-Jul-13 18:46:06

Fgs she obviously wasn't having breathing difficulties or she wouldn't have been able to get up and keep complaining to true bus driver.

I have allergies, they are a pita, I keep my home allergy free but when I am out in public it is my responsibility to move myself away from an allergen. I can't expect the general public to stop walking their dogs, talking their pets to the vet etc, I have to take responsibility for myself and I do, I move!

maddening Tue 30-Jul-13 18:47:57

Yanbu - but also how old is dd? Sorry if I missed it.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:48:30

And just imagine all the cat owners that get on and off buses, sitting near this woman with cat hair on their clothes, that don't produce a major coughing fit and performance to the driver....

She was a crank.

thebody Tue 30-Jul-13 18:49:01

silly drama queen. I luvs kittens.

sorry know I shouldn't but the comments from the lads about your Pussey made me laugh.

Didactylos Tue 30-Jul-13 18:49:03

if she can argue, shes got a patent airway....
see, its a good thing
tfic grin

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 18:55:44

I'm actually quite worried now about her. At the time, the cough seemed a bit forced. But it could very well have been genuine. It started pouring with rain on the way home which can't have helped. I hope she has a husband or someone that lives with her.

Maddening, dd is 5yo. smile She has ASD and there's not a 'cat in hell's chance' she would have sat on my knee unless she actually wanted to (which she didn't). Also, she's a bloody heavy lump and i would have struggled to cope with my knees being squished for 30 mins.

And not to mention i didn't want to sit in curry sauce or beside the loud, drunk people. Nor would i have expected anyone to sit here. Which is why the situation's difficult. I couldn't move and nether could the woman.

kali110 Tue 30-Jul-13 18:57:46

Dont have sympathy purely because of how she reacted. Maybe if this woman had been so rude and humiliated her op may have moved. If she had such a bad allergy then how was she able to parade up and down the bus?then argue with op and the driver, clearly wasnt struggling with her allergy then. Hope i never sit by the lady im always covered in cat hair!i maybe a crazy cat lady when im old and senile.

Hulababy Tue 30-Jul-13 19:00:52

YANBU

She was obviously able to move enough to get up and rant several times.

LynetteScavo Tue 30-Jul-13 19:00:59

Sounds like the bus journey from hell.

Sound like you were the only reasonable person on the bus.

IrisWildthyme Tue 30-Jul-13 19:01:21

YANBU and she was being a crank. Other previous posters have made all the sensible and reasonable points why so I won't reiterate, just add my voice in your favour. If she had the voice enough to argue, she wasn't actually in any danger.

everlong Tue 30-Jul-13 19:01:58

She sounds a nutcase. If she was really unable to breathe she have moved herself away from you.

belatedmaybe Tue 30-Jul-13 19:05:48

If the bus was full/fullish then sitting in the easy access seats does not mean she needed to use them. Personally I would choose them rather than sitting nearer a group of yobs. The fact that she was citing hair on shopping despite being feet not inches away makes it pretty clear she was professionally offended nothing more.

valiumredhead Tue 30-Jul-13 19:18:10

Going against the grain here by saying I don't think any animals should be on buses or trains except for guide dogs.

Feminine Tue 30-Jul-13 19:33:09

But valium op doesn't drive.

ClaraOswald Tue 30-Jul-13 19:46:30

So how would you get your pets to a vet in a neighbouring town when you don't have a car for whatever reason?

You have the money to be spending out on double taxi fare?

valiumredhead Tue 30-Jul-13 19:51:18

Yes, it doesn't change my opinion. I've been on buses where cats have shat in their carriers, obviously very poorly. And once had to get off the bus as an Alsatian puked at the back of the bus and every time the bus braked it rolled down the aisle. Everyone had to get off including driver.

Bogeyface Tue 30-Jul-13 19:51:28

I have a severe allergy to cats and dogs and I am fine as long as I dont touch them or anything they have sat on or touched. Stupid cow.

everlong Tue 30-Jul-13 19:54:53

I've been on buses and trains where humans have shat and vommed everywhere too.

valiumredhead Tue 30-Jul-13 19:55:57

Yeah me too ever longgrin

valiumredhead Tue 30-Jul-13 19:57:07

I just can't cope with animal errr...waste! It's ok,I know I'm in the minority.

tabulahrasa Tue 30-Jul-13 20:13:27

I wouldn't take cats on a bus - it freaks them out enough getting a taxi or a lift to the vets.

SpockSmashesScissors Tue 30-Jul-13 20:16:38

Very interesting, as pointed out, this would have had very different responses had op been eating a bag of peanuts behind somebody allergic.

Just because the lady got up to speak to the driver doesn't mean a serious allergic response/asthma attack wasn't starting and she could possibly have ended up in hospital later. Also if she could already feel problems starting it wouldn't be that easy for her to get off and walk instead.

Very difficult for both of you, the driver could perhaps have asked two people further back to swap seats rather than arguing with her for twenty minutes. Feel sorry for both of you, not sure why this makes her a stupid cow though.

OTTMummA Tue 30-Jul-13 20:19:32

I don't mind animals on buses so long as they are on a leash/in a carrier.
I once had to sit next to a Yorkie dog (yes on it's own seat) who was shaking and pissing all over the seat.

YANBU op, she was probably in that space because of the shopping trolly.
If she had a real allergy she wouldn't have harped on about her shopping having hair on it.
I don't get why some people think the elderly should be catered to just because of their age,, some old people are right twats you don't suddenly turn into a naice old dear when you hit 65. hmm

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 20:19:34

Spocks - most people have said they would respond exactly the same whatever the allergen was.

DS has severe asthma that is triggered by cigarette smoke. If someone is smoking in an area it is perfectly legal to do so then I move DS I wouldn't expect them to move because of him.

Bodicea Tue 30-Jul-13 20:30:20

I have a cat allergy. You have to touch the cat for it to affect you that quickly. She was talking bollocks!

orangeandemons Tue 30-Jul-13 20:40:13

I don't have to touch them at all! Just being near them sets me off!

valiumredhead Tue 30-Jul-13 20:41:08

You don't have to touch a cat for an allergy to come on quickly. You might.

5madthings Tue 30-Jul-13 20:48:12

I don't have to touch a cat/dog/rabbit/guinea pig etc to set off my allergies just being around them or even being around a person who has a pet and has handled that pet recently, can set off my allergies.

But its my issus to deal with, I keep my home allergy free, I cannot expect the public to not take their let's out or to change clothes after handling their pets so that I am not affected if I happen to sit near them on a bus. I carry anthistemines and inhalers to take if I need to and I move!

TabithaStephens Tue 30-Jul-13 20:49:17

I was on a bus once and a bloke got on with a box of puppies. The driver charged him 50p for each pup! I couldn't believe it.

TheSmallClanger Tue 30-Jul-13 20:53:04

She was being a pain and the driver agreed with you. She should have moved.

When I used to use public transport regularly, it really cheered me up to see dogs, cats and even ferrets out and about. I've seen more humans fouling seats and stinking the place out than animals.

WestieMamma Tue 30-Jul-13 21:11:40

When I was little I went on the bus with my uncle and a cardboard box containing 6 kittens. He was relocating them to the farm where he worked. The kittens escaped and pandemonium ensued grin

alreadytaken Tue 30-Jul-13 22:59:51

the OP lost my sympathy when she objected to being late for her appointment. She could have sat or stood with the pet carrier further down the bus, instead she was happy to make someone ill. When she forced them to leave the bus she didn't even offer to pay their fare. But no - she has paid for her seat and her daughter's and that matters more than forcing someone who is having an allergic reaction off the bus. Would she happily have continued to sit there if an ambulance had had to be called? She doesn't know how ill she made this woman, how long it took her to recover or how long the woman's trip home was delayed. But that is nothing compared to nearly missing her vet appointment.

As this woman was in seats for the elderly/disabled they were probably at the front of the bus so getting up to speak to a driver is not much effort.

ClaraOswald Tue 30-Jul-13 23:46:10

alreadytaken- can you please explain why anyone would be likely to believe that this particular person had the allergies she claimed to have when she told the driver that her shopping now had cat hair all over it.

The cats were locked in the cat carrier the entire journey and had no access to the shopping. So how the hell could cat hair be over her shopping?

If she is outright lying about that, I see no reason to believe that she had any allergies at all and was causing the fuss just because she doesn't like cats.

Which is a whole different ballgame to having an allergy.

kali110 Wed 31-Jul-13 00:10:16

They really cant have been that bad if she repeatedly argued with the bus driver. I also wanted to know how her shopping got fur all over it?
Its public transport op is entitled to take her pets, they werent causing trouble. I wouldnt be able to afford a taxi to the bets and back with my pets. I take mine on the bus because i cant drive either.i really wish there was an alternative as theyre scared.

SelectAUserName Wed 31-Jul-13 03:24:16

Did she use an inhaler, OP? I would expect someone with an allergy to something as common as cats, which apparently affects her breathing, to carry and use an inhaler if she had encountered her allergen to that extent. I'm mildly allergic to strange animals - short-haired ones I have to touch for it to trigger, but long-haired ones would probably start me wheezing just from proximity - and so I never go anywhere without my inhaler and use it at the first sign of tight-chested-ness.

So if she wasn't prepared to move despite being capable of getting up and down to the driver and if she had neglected to take the precautions of carrying an inhaler, then she WABU.

Chandras Wed 31-Jul-13 04:39:09

We have allergies to cats in the family, my sister gets in a rash if she sits next to someone who has hold a cat in yhe same day (it is quite funny really. She starts itching and getting urticaria before asking who was near a cat). I have a friend who had an asthma attack at our house, we didn't have a cat but the previous owner of the house did.

And finally, DS has asthma, a bad cough is the prelude to a to be connected to a nebuliser in A&E or get admitted in the children's ward. Having said that, it is my responsibility to avoid Ds getting near to cats.

I think she was unreasonable but I wouldn't say she was a cow, she may have been panicking about an incoming asthma attack, and in that I can't blame her. As un impressive as they may be, asthma attacks could be quite scary (for the sufferer mostly, the rest of gge people could be totally unaware)

alreadytaken Fri 02-Aug-13 12:17:44

since I wasn't present I dont know where their hair did or didnt go and who was exaggerating. The attitude on the thread has been affected by comments about blocking the bus - just as possible that there was room to go past and the story has been exaggerated. However on the OPs own admission someone was coughing and forced to get off a bus - when it sounds like a country area where the next bus could be hours away. But the OP is only concerned that they were late for their appointment. Makes it VU in my book.

PomBearArmy Fri 02-Aug-13 16:02:39

If there were two other available seats she should have moved. Instead she chose to be an awkward arse twitcher.

That line about getting fur all over her shopping proves how U she was. My cat moults insanely, but I'd be impressed if she could cover a three bus seat radius while in a carrier.

Just forget about her.

alreadytaken Sat 03-Aug-13 08:11:59

let me present the opposing view on this - a woman is sitting on a bus when someone gets on with a cat carrier. She must have had trouble getting the cats in because there is fur all over it. Although there is plenty of room to get past my shopping trolley - which I admit is in the aisle - she asks me to move it so she can get past and rests her cat carrier on it so the fur goes on my shopping. She then sits down behind me. I ask her to move because I'm allergic to cats and I'm already beginning to have problems. She refuses and I cant move to the other vacant seats because I have poor heath and need to sit in the seats near the door. When I start to have breathing problems I complain to the driver but he wont make her move further away. It takes me 10 minutes to talk to him because I have to fight to get the words out as I'm having breathing problems. Eventually I have to get off the bus and wait an hour for the next one or call someone to pick me up. My breathing doesnt return to normal until I get home or I had to call an ambulance and was taken to a&e.

Was the cat allergic woman wrong not to move - yes but she was in seats that suggest she may have been in poor health. Does that justify the OP being a shit - no. The bus stopped several times, maybe more people got off and they could both have moved later. OP was still VU to assume the woman was lying about her allergy and refuse to move and if this wasn't in AIBU the OP would have been told that.

Sirzy Sat 03-Aug-13 08:18:41

So her health was poor enough she couldn't take a couple of steps to another seat but not poor enough she couldn't walk to the driver and have complain to him? Out of curiosity what sort of health problem would cause that to be the case?

You know what, I've just read through this thread again, and thought, why did the driver not remove the group of loud, aggressive and abusive people from the back of the bus. Would that not be the sensible thing to do? They are preventing other people from sitting down near them and making other passengers uncomfortable. confused

alreadytaken Sat 03-Aug-13 08:31:47

Sirzy the sort that makes it difficult for you going up steps, the vacant seat was at the back of the bus.

Sirzy Sat 03-Aug-13 08:33:54

What steps? sounds like you are making assumptions to me! Who mentioned there being any steps on the bus? Buses here have no steps other than the ones to get on!

alreadytaken Sat 03-Aug-13 08:45:20

fortunately I dont usually travel on buses, the last one I went on had steps to the back. I dont know why she didnt move but the OP wasnt prepared to move to that seat was she, why should she expect someone else to do so? I come back to someone else being a shit doesnt justify the OP being one too.

Sirzy Sat 03-Aug-13 08:49:24

Why should the OP have moved? She was allowed to be on the bus, she was sat in the only place on the bus that seats were suitable for her and her child. She was doing nothing wrong!

ClaraOswald Sat 03-Aug-13 11:14:02

Just going to point out that at no time does the OP state that she placed her carrier anywhere near the shopping. She had the carrier on her lap when the.obnoxious person let her pass and could sit down.

YouTheCat Sat 03-Aug-13 11:39:03

If the woman had an allergy that bad that just being on the same busy would set her off, surely she should take some responsibility for herself and take medication?

She sounds like a loony.

Already, have you read the OP's comments at all? The OP needed 2 seats together for her and her dd who is too young/has ASD to sit on her own. Much simpler for the silly woman to move.

alreadytaken Sun 04-Aug-13 08:08:47

sure I read the post - just didnt automatically assume either that it was the entire story or that it was all true.

As to why she should move - why not? There was no mention of ASD in the initial post. Her cats were causing someone such severe health problems that they had to leave the bus. The OP caused the problem by taking the cats on the bus and hence should try to mitigate the damage. She didnt. The other person should have moved but the OP was also behaving badly and her only concern was that she was late for her appointment.

Sirzy Sun 04-Aug-13 08:10:48

But the OP was allowed to take the cats on the bus. Plenty of things are allergens to people are we going to ban them all from public transport? The OP did nothing wrong, it was the other woman with the problem not her

Emilythornesbff Sun 04-Aug-13 08:14:40

Sorry alreadytaken nice try but OP WNBU. Even with your eloquent reverse aibu. The "allergic" woman was being difficult.
That is all.
grin

alreadytaken Sun 04-Aug-13 08:31:44

The presence of the cats was making someone ill. The OPs actions were therefore causing pain to another person. She could have avoided that but chose not to. That is sadistic. However I have better things to do than continue a debate with those who think such behaviour is reasonable.

Emilythornesbff Sun 04-Aug-13 08:40:24

No it's not sadistic. You are overreacting and your comment sounds a little ridiculous tbh. Sorry if that sounds rude.
The OP did nothing wrong by bringing her cats on to the bus.
The allergic woman could have moved. It was not reasonable for the OP to move in the given situation.
Accepting the OP's OP (which I do on aibu unless it has glaring holes) the allergic woman was being difficult. IMHO.

sameoldIggi Sun 04-Aug-13 09:28:43

Our busdrivers wouldn't allow a shopping trolley (or buggy, suitcase etc) to block the aisle at all. Tis a health n safety issue.

BurnThisDiscoDown Sun 04-Aug-13 10:34:33

I have asthma and strong perfume can set off an attack. When I was catching the train to work and back I would quite frequently end up near someone wearing strong perfume. I would use my inhaler then move if that didn't work. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking the perfume wearer to move, apart from being precious on my part, why does my right not to move trump theirs? We've both paid for tickets, but my health issue is my responsibility.

Op, ywnbu, if she was able to march up and down the bus complaining she was able to move seats.

DizzyZebra Sun 04-Aug-13 11:03:11

YANBU.
I had a woman complain about my dog once. She tried to claim she was allergic to it, Which was highly unlikely due to the breed.

Bus driver basically told her to do one and everyone had a good laugh at her being a dick.

mrsruffallo Sun 04-Aug-13 11:08:14

YABU
I have a severe cat allergy and it probably would have made me cough. I sense that you weren't as reasonable as you appear in your OP either. Just a feeling.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 04-Aug-13 11:19:25

YABU

when cats are nervous they shed a lot of fur

I would have moved her allergy sounds quite bad yes she was stroppy but those who have cat allergies can avoid them most of the time she couldn't in this instance so it would have been fair for you to be more considerate

DizzyZebra Sun 04-Aug-13 11:24:12

It's called public transport for a reason though, and ost companies allow animals on board, provided they are properly restrained and under control.

I am allergic to certain body sprays but i couldn't ask someone wearing one of them to get off the bus.

It's one of the risks you take by using public services. OP was not doing anything wrong by having her pet there.

YouTheCat Sun 04-Aug-13 11:24:12

But surely if you have an allergy that bad (and the fact is you may well end up sitting next to a crazy cat lady who is covered in cat hair on public transport) you'd take some antihistamines as a precaution?

FS, the OP had nowhere to move to with her child and pet carrier as she needed to sit with her kid because she is young and is on the spectrum. Much easier for the deranged moaner to move imo.

Itsaburrdiee Sun 04-Aug-13 11:27:38

I'm very allergic to cats but it's my problem and I wouldn't inconvenience others because of it. I don't think cats in a carrier a few seats away would bother me to be honest and if they did I would move.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 04-Aug-13 11:28:58

if someone is coughing their allergy is bad

your cats are the cause you do the nice thing and move

should she have moved to the back of the bus because cute likkle puddy cats have got on hmm

When I have taken my cat to the vet his fur does escape all over the car from his cat box, they shed fur when they are nervous

snotfunny Sun 04-Aug-13 11:33:46

YANBU. This would not have been an issue at all if she had handled it entirely differently. What would have happened if she had turned to you and calmly said: 'I'm very sorry. I know the bus is really busy, but I am beginning to have an allergic reaction to your cats. There's no where else Zi can sit because of...(insert reason here). Is there any way your cats could be moved further away from me, please?'

I suspect that in this case, the OP and possibly the other passengers would have found a solution. I know that had I heard such an exchange I would have offered to swap seats.

The over dramatic complaining and telling tales to the driver and exaggerating the extent of fur coverage would have marked her out as a loon and the other passengers would automatically be less inclined to help out.

You couldn't move even if you had wanted to, OP, without the co-operation of other passengers. It was an unfortunate situation, but I don't think it was your fault, OP.

PresidentServalan Sun 04-Aug-13 14:39:48

YADNBU!! I have allergies and would move if I was near something which could set them off. Plus you had kittens - that trumps everything grin

YouTheCat Sun 04-Aug-13 15:14:20

So, FS, where should the OP's autistic dd sit when her mum has moved to the one other available seat at the back of the bus with the drunks?

Allergy sufferers are responsible for their own medication and managing their condition, even if that means moving away from a trigger.

Plus the woman who was complaining wasn't too breathless to rant at the driver for 20 minutes.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 04-Aug-13 15:33:09

was the woman aware of her daughters asd I doubt it and if other passangers were they could have given a seat up (I am sure not all were travelling in pairs)

I am astounded so many are saying her allergy her problem. If I got on a bus eating peanuts/with a cat and someone reacted because of an allergy by coughing I would not be saying well your problem not mine you should move. it is not hard you know it is called being considarate

and how often do you get on a bus with cats on, should people drug themselves up just in case no of course not

YouTheCat Sun 04-Aug-13 15:36:34

If her allergy was that bad (and I seriously doubt it from how she was able to carry on ranting), then just someone with cat fur on their clothing could set it off and in that case, if it was me with the allergy, I'd make sure I had medication or would move. That is also being considerate.

Sirzy Sun 04-Aug-13 15:38:36

But people should carry medication with them.

DS is severely asthmatic with lots of triggers but I wouldn't expect other people to stop doing things which are perfectly legal becuse of it. It is up to me to medicate and keep him safe if that means moving then so be it.

My sister went to the theatre once and started a reaction because of someone eating peanuts - she asked to be moved somewhere else rather than expecting the other person (who was probably oblivious!) to move.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 04-Aug-13 15:50:15

regardless of medication who knows maybe she left it at home if I got on the bus and sat next to/behind a passangers that reacted to whatever becaue of my getting on the bus and they informed me I would move

Theatre is a little different a lot of money is beng spent, misding part of the performance also as you said they may have been oblivious to it

so paying passangers have to be considerate to cats that they may have an allergy to being on the bus. The only time I would say you have to be considerate towards an animal and it would be right thing to do should it cause you discomfort is for a guide dog

Sirzy Sun 04-Aug-13 15:56:38

But the op has nowhere to move too because she needed 2 seats. Other woman was alone so could move and could have stopped the problem she just wanted to cause a scene.

treaclesoda Sun 04-Aug-13 16:54:09

I'm no cat lover but even I think that the other woman sounds like she was a bit overly dramatic and unreasonable. Having said that, afaik I don't think you're allowed to take animals on buses in my area (except guide dogs) and I think its a very sensible rule, and it means that things like this just can't happen.

MadeOfStarDust Sun 04-Aug-13 16:57:15

I think the other woman was over the top in her reactions - but to be honest she did have a bit of a point....

If I am sitting comfortably on a bus for god knows how long and someone gets on with something I am allergic to and sits down right next to me, I am going to be a bit peed off if I have to gather my stuff and move..

MrsDeVere Sun 04-Aug-13 17:03:33

I don't think she was allergic.
Just a hunch.
Coughing?

hmmmm

If someone told me they were highly allergic and asked me to move, I would. I wouldn't want someone suffering a horrible reaction because of my actions.

But if they came and sat next to me and then moaned I would be a bit surprised if they asked me to move.

Slightly OT but I had an official visitor a few weeks ago. I always ask if people are ok with dogs because mine are yappy but friendly. They would frighten someone who is nervous of dogs.

This visitor said she was very allergic to dogs so could I put them somewhere. I said yes but what about the hair etc (they get on the sofas etc). She said that was fine, it wouldn't affect her.
Really? Could this be true? Surely my dogs hair and saliva would be all over everything and if you were highly allergic you would react?

I wondered if she was scared but didn't want to say.

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