To be shocked that my friend lets her 7 and 8 year old boys play...

(82 Posts)
jenniferalisonphillipasue Mon 29-Jul-13 23:06:37

Call of Duty on the xbox?
I am not one for games consoles etc but I am certainly not the console police. However I was really shocked that when I took my son to play at my friends house this morning her eldest son said he wanted to play CoD. I thought maybe he meant some kind of role play but there by the TV was COD2 (rated15). I was really shocked by this.
I really don't want my ds exposed to this kind of stuff. How do I go about saying this??

TheFallenNinja Mon 29-Jul-13 23:09:26

COD 2 will be the hot topic in the playground right now I suspect

Fakebook Mon 29-Jul-13 23:11:01

Don't take your son there? It's none of your business.

PurpleGirly Mon 29-Jul-13 23:16:22

I'm with you OP can't believe the games some of my DS's friends play (9).

phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Jul-13 23:24:35

my DS is 8 and i worry about play dates now- all he plays at home is kids games from FRIV and cbeebies etc

I am sure some of his peers have been exposed to what is IMO inappropriate films and games - especially those who have games mad dads or teen age brothers

luckily I am friends with his best friends mum and know she has her head screwed on right and similar views to mine.

cephalicdream Mon 29-Jul-13 23:27:23

Itsillegal to buy them underage so why is it legal to play them underage

gobbledegook1 Tue 30-Jul-13 00:36:54

Anyone playing Call of Duty underage is a child protection issue that Social Services would act upon as abuse.

RussianBlu Tue 30-Jul-13 00:59:28

Social Services would get involved??

Dizzydummy Tue 30-Jul-13 00:59:41

I don't think ANYONE should be playing these bloody stupid voilent playstations games, let alone some impressionable 7 or 8 year olds. Bad parenting IMO

AnnabelleLee Tue 30-Jul-13 01:01:01

Oh christ, some people talk shit on here. no, ss would not see this as abuse, and would not act on it. Cop yourself on!

StuntGirl Tue 30-Jul-13 01:25:41

Sigh. This again.

There's absolutely cock all wrong with the game in and of itself (well, aside from the fact that it's shite), an adults are free to choose whatever games they like to play. I have read books with far more horrific content than any game I've ever played.

The key word is adults; it's 18 rated for a reason although with many things in life other parents will parent differently to you. You make your own choices.

If you're so concerned perhaps play dates at your house are the way forward.

gobbledegook1 Tue 30-Jul-13 01:34:20

AnnabelleLee I had a meeting at my son's school a few weeks ago with his teacher, she raised concerns about his dad allowing him to play games she didn't deem entirely appropriate for someone generally of his age let alone of his understanding (he's autistic), concerns I've been raising for years but have previously been ignored. My Ex's response's included how they weren't as bad as some of the games his friends were allowed to play such as Call of Duty, the teacher stated that she would hope his friends were not playing such games and that if they were he should consider reporting them as the school had been informed by a social worker that they are to report any cases where they know or suspect a child within the school to be playing this game as it is considered a serious child protection issue due to its highly graphic content.

tittytittyhanghang Tue 30-Jul-13 01:38:15

Pahahahahaha. SS. Interested because an under age child was playing CoD. Mn makes me laugh sometimes, it really does.

Op imo it depends on the child. Some children realise this pile of shite game is exactly that, a game. Other children (according to mn posters) will be scarred for life, and grow up to be socially inept adults intent on murder.

RussianBlu Tue 30-Jul-13 01:39:04

Oh phew, I don't have to hide behind the couch every time the door knocks/phone rings in case social services are going to take the children away.

We have that game at home. My children are less than 15/18 whatever the rating is. They rarely play it. When they do it doesn't seem to have any effect on them. I tell them to play it with the volume down, that's all as I think there is swearing in it.

I know I will have a thousand people on my back telling me how terrible I am, but anyway.

RussianBlu Tue 30-Jul-13 01:41:04

I do draw the line at Grand Theft Auto though. That is a big no way jose.

Kiwiinkits Tue 30-Jul-13 02:00:49

Don't you want to protect their childhood Russian? Is it that hard to do? Why not just say no? I suppose you let them watch horror films and things too. Well, good for you. Parent of the year.

Kiwiinkits Tue 30-Jul-13 02:04:38

SS wouldn't get involved with the mother mentioned on here the other day who was swearing and verbally abusing her kids in public, calling them stupid little c*nts and so on. Doesn't mean she's a great mum. It's obvious she's a crap mum. Same goes for letting your kids play or watch things beyond their years. Whether SS will get involved is not the acid test for deciding whether an action constitutes good parenting or not.

RussianBlu Tue 30-Jul-13 02:06:05

No, they don't watch horror films 'and things'. As you know very little about me, please don't make assumptions on my parenting skills, thank you!

Kiwiinkits Tue 30-Jul-13 02:09:47

Just a minute, I just have to go and turn the volume down on the porn that's on the telly. Just in case there's swearing in it. Be back soon.

ddubsgirl Tue 30-Jul-13 02:09:50

We had letter home from school about this an that any child overheard talking about playing these games would have names passed on to ss sad

RussianBlu Tue 30-Jul-13 02:16:51

Ok Kiwiinkits, you enjoy yourself!

Don't you just love a smarty pants.

cantspel Tue 30-Jul-13 02:19:28

COD 2 was released in 2005 and nothing like the later Black ops Cod games. I t is a WW2 army game. The graphics are shit by todays standard and it is not at all life like.

RussianBlu Tue 30-Jul-13 02:28:10

Its a very boring game, you walk around for ages shooting at the sky, the ground, anything really, occasionally you come across another solider. It rarely gets used. But I'm a bad parent who isn't protecting her children. I also don't turn the news off for war related things.

cantspel Tue 30-Jul-13 02:28:52

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469287/

For those of you who dont know the game watch the clips on the above site. It is like a a 1950's war film

cantspel Tue 30-Jul-13 02:29:20
everlong Tue 30-Jul-13 02:33:40

My 21 year old has. Awful game.

Not for young children, no way. Don't understand why people allow their dc play it. Mental.

justanuthermanicmumsday Tue 30-Jul-13 02:35:48

Everyone has their own limits. So one parent may see it as perfectly normal whereas you will say no its unsuitable.

I think its unsuitable a family member has it and other trashy games like that. I've told him while he's living with us he's not to put on any games or movies in front of my children since he doesn't see the big deal.

He wouldn't like most of us he's desensitised to the violence, gore, abuse, and sexual filth in movies, tv, games and music. many children aren't and they often question things if innocently exposed to them. I.e music why is that song about stealing someone else's girlfriend mum, that doesn't sound good. No it doesn't its shite, but some retail outlets play any junk to fit in with the pop culture and make us listen to their garbage whilst we are trying to shop.

This lady is your friend I'm sure you shold be ble to tell her anything without causing offence. Just say I'd rather the children didnt play games that are not for their age.Isn't it better that they are active instead of sitting in front of a screen? play dates with games and movies most modern kids do that stuff at home ditch it ration it. We need our kds to have active minds and bodies.

cantspel Tue 30-Jul-13 02:39:10

I think some of you are thinking of COD Black ops 2 as i dont see any 21 year olds having any interest in COD 2 as
1. It is a very old game
2. It is shit especially when you compare the graphics to the later games of this genre
3. there has been 8 cod games released since this one.

cantspel Tue 30-Jul-13 02:43:57

There is no sex in cod2 and the swearing is very minor. The odd bastard quite a few bloody's and damms.
It is a very early cod game and no where near the black ops ones.

tittytittyhanghang Tue 30-Jul-13 02:45:41

This lady is your friend I'm sure you shold be ble to tell her anything without causing offence. - Have you read any of the threads on mn?

justanuthermanicmumsday Tue 30-Jul-13 02:48:22

I'm a bit blonde you'll have to spell it out lol

well i know if it were my friend she would understand. If she did get upset it would only be a day or two then it would be a ok between us.

tittytittyhanghang Tue 30-Jul-13 02:54:42

Haha perhaps but in that day or two of being upset she would be on mn, asking us if she WBU to be offended at your perceived criticism of her parenting :D

2boys3girls Tue 30-Jul-13 03:45:31

I have a 12 and 9 year old who have played the odd adult game however every game my dh owns has no sex or nudity whatsoever. His game console is in the living room so every game is checked and rechecked before buying. I have no problem with the violence, my dds are fully aware that it's all fake and they honestly don't care either way

Kiwiinkits Tue 30-Jul-13 04:18:06

At 12, maybe. A mature 12.
But 7? Too young.

ratbagcatbag Tue 30-Jul-13 04:31:21

DSS has played these since about 11, online though initially with everyone he doesn't know muted. The campaign is normally more graphic than the team shoot em up. I find all the deaths cartoon staged. He's now 15 next week, hell be having the new one when it comes out. Each to their own.

There are rules, such as only adding people you know etc.

We do not allow saints row or grand theft auto in this house though (or at least not yet)

littlewhitebag Tue 30-Jul-13 06:31:07

SS would certainly not become involved just on the basis of a child playing COD. I am a SW and I have plenty more serious stuff to fill up my working day.

However, if I was involved with a family who allowed this I would point out its unsuitability. I met one boy who was neglected by his mother and played games like this. The fantasy world spilled over into real life for him which was very sad to see. I think more secure children would realize it was not real.

littleblackno Tue 30-Jul-13 07:33:50

Teachers may very well pass on names to ss. SS would then move on to their other more serious cases of abuse and neglect. I don't think it's right for young kids to play games rated 15/18, but to say it "serious abuse" is a bit ott and if you compared it to the average child protection case load wouldn't come anywhere near the radar.

I always wonder why people are so blind to video game ratings. It's not a complex thing to understand.

But then people have still got this stupid idea that all games are for children.

JenaiMorris Tue 30-Jul-13 07:46:11

Some children (and adults) are susceptible to this kind of thing, some aren't.

The biggest issue for a secure child with a healthy ability to separate fantasy from real life is that gaming can be a massive sucker up of time (like Mumsnet tbh)- which will be why the poor child little describes could possibly do with less of it and why, being neglected, his over use of games is understandable.

COD 2 is, as others have pointed out, like an old war film or those old Commando comic books. It's not Black Ops or GTA.

Meglet Tue 30-Jul-13 07:53:41

And there's me still stopping the DC's watching CITV.

I would not be impressed with a primary age child playing an 18 cert game, although having been a teenager I can appreciate that older kids do have these games i was crap at GTA. But at 7 and 8, no.

Vakant Tue 30-Jul-13 08:09:27

I am shocked that people let their young children play games intended for an adult audience, why not just say no? They will not be damaged or deprived by being told no will they?

MiaowTheCat Tue 30-Jul-13 08:34:19

Oh good god the ridiculous shit on here people insist SS would be parachuting in to investigate... didn't someone once want to call them for a baby out in winter without a hat on?!

Samu2 Tue 30-Jul-13 08:39:59

My ex has let our children play this game. I can't say I was impressed with that decision but I am not overly concerned either.

I am pretty sure they aren't going to turn into serial killers because of it.

I don't want it in my house but their dad has other ideas and sadly, I can't control what happens there and I decided them playing the odd game of that is not a hill I am willing to die on.

"They will not be damaged or deprived by being told no will they?"

Poor little darlings will feel left out of course, deeply damaging.. hmm

thebody Tue 30-Jul-13 08:44:47

I actually do belive I am in a parallel universe!

teachers calling ss because a child talks about a game in the playground?? fuck off.. SS are a tad busy you know.

personally I find Eastenders and Hollyoaks etc far more worrying as it looks much more like real life where these games obviously don't.

we usually allowed games no older than 3 years older so out 15 saw 18, our 12 saw 15.

but we vetted them first to see the reason for the rating.

jamdonut Tue 30-Jul-13 08:45:31

In my experience young children play these games because their Dad bought it and plays it. You should hear what some children have been doing or watching at the weekend, when we do circle time on a Monday morning.hmm

gazzalw Tue 30-Jul-13 08:50:43

Think we should count ourselves lucky our 12 year old DS only ever playes Minecraft...perhaps we have got off lightly???

fuzzpig Tue 30-Jul-13 08:51:36

YANBU, our previous neighbour was playing COD, GTA etc at that age and although he was welcome in our house, DD (3 years younger) wasn't allowed round there unaccompanied as when she did go round there, she just sat watching him play 15/18 rated games. None of my business if his parents let him play them but I wouldn't want my DCs to.

noblegiraffe Tue 30-Jul-13 08:53:40

God, why can't kids just play Mario. It's not like there aren't plenty of fun alternatives out there.

meditrina Tue 30-Jul-13 09:02:31

I don't let my DC watch films rated way older than their actual age, ditto games. The rating here is about twice the actual age of the DC - not a near miss by any standards.

No, I don't like realistic first-person shooter games for children (even older generation ones - and their graphics aren't shite other than in comparison to more modern).

I do think parents need to play the game themselves before considering if their teen should be allowed to play. It's a bit like watching porn, if you find yourself revolted by the objectivisation of the 'people' and the entitlement to kill that is part of the first-person shooter role, you might not want DC exposed at any age. And you might want to talk to your DC about the violence represents, so you know what they think of the context.

(It's the similar approach to all adult content a teen might encounter, and education/dialogue is always appropriate).

Joanne279 Tue 30-Jul-13 09:08:00

My dp plays this (yawn)

But there is NO WAY id let my kids of 8 play it. It's violent, you kill people, you get more points for head shots and when your ammo runs out you get to knife people! Delightful!

Why can't kids be kids? Why do we have to expose them to this level if violence at such an early age? From thd few comments I read, it doesn't matter if thd graphics are crsp or if its set in 1950, its rated 15 for a reason!!!

noble Quite, There are some amazing games out there nowadays. And not just kiddy ones either. Why is shit like CoD the go to game??

fuzzpig Tue 30-Jul-13 09:21:25

Indeed, noble. Why the hurry to get to realistic violent games when there's so many more choices confused

dangly131 Tue 30-Jul-13 09:23:27

Some of the kids at my school play COD...not sure which one but given that they all now know what 'tea bagging' is from the game then I would deem it unsuitable for children. One of the TAs was shocked to learn what it was from a 9 year old...enough said!

ANormalOne Tue 30-Jul-13 09:25:07

I'm laughing at the idea of SS being involved because an underage child plays CoD, what a load of nonsense.

That must mean my DD will soon be removed from my care since I play/watch much more violent stuff than that whilst bouncing her in bouncer.

SS being involved, what a load of bollocks, they would file the complaint in the bin.

Have no idea about the game, but i think a lot of people have views on some of these games without even seeing them.

Bunnygotwhacked Tue 30-Jul-13 11:35:49

I'm not sure about social services thing as it seems to have been a "big story" politically and in the media I think there would be a bit more attention paid to reports of it not necessarily them swooping in to save your children but i expect if it's mentioned at school the school will file that information somewhere.
On this issue of games themselves please realise that the age ratings don't have anything to do with the difficulty of the game. It doesn't mean they are brighter just because they can play an 18.
For those who don't play the games themselves there is common sense media website with lots of reviews from adults and children along with that persons recommended age rating to give you a clearer idea of whats in the games.
www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews/call-of-duty-modern-warfare-2
By the way my dc's do play games they are not deemed old enough to play but nothing that i haven't checked out first usually by playing grin

PEGI explains the ratings pretty well too.

Bunnygotwhacked Tue 30-Jul-13 11:45:52

thats a link to the wrong game sorry but the websites good for all games

FadedSapphire Tue 30-Jul-13 12:42:11

There's me being concerned my 4 year old getting unhealthy attitude towards green pigs in angry birds! 'I'm going to die the pigs!!'.
Honestly- I am rethinking him playing it...

Beastofburden Tue 30-Jul-13 13:30:44

Ds1 is 21 now and in his time has played all these games. As an adult he has a healthy sense of irony when faced with violent films etc and now plays games where you build space rockets etc (when he plays at all), while his extremely gentle father slaughters orcs on lord of the rings.

That said, I would not have allowed him to start that young. Secondary school at the very least, and actually I think he was about 14 before most of these games were available.

Back2Two Tue 30-Jul-13 13:31:59

Not sure why people are so keen to believe that SS would completely shrug off any reports such as these. Obviously the context is important.

Child protection guidelines will probably include reference to children being frequently allowed access to or being allowed to watch anything of an explicit adult content.

No, they're not going to leap in the car and bash down the door....but I hope/believe that they would actually treat any concerned reports as valid and not just bin them.

It's all about context and the rest of that child's life.

Personally,I hate the fact that 6 year old boys coming to my house don't know how to entertain themselves because we don't have a games console.

I played GTA when I was younger. I am still yet to nick a car and kill women.

My brother 13 has played COD etc since 11. He plays online with other friends. He can tell the difference between what is real and what isn't.

I played Playboy Mansion on the PlayStation 1. I loved it and I think that was a 15 or 18. Cant remember.

Faded My 3 year old shouts Fly birds, die pigs [grim] He also plays the ant squashing game.

FadedSapphire Tue 30-Jul-13 13:49:48

Not had the pleasure of the ant squashing game... will not seek it out!

tittytittyhanghang Tue 30-Jul-13 13:59:29

Back2Two do you really find 6 year olds who play consoles unable to entertain themselves? I dont think thats a general problem and maybe just the boys you have coming to your house.

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes Tue 30-Jul-13 14:03:28

Professor Susan Greenfield researched the effects of screen technologies on children and as a result there is no way I would let my 11 year old and 7 year old play COD. That's despite their claims that 'all their friends have played it' hmm Well, yes, they probably have, but I can think of a lot more interesting things for my dc to do than sit in front of a screen and kill people.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Tue 30-Jul-13 14:07:55

Both my ds's (7 and 8yo) have friends at school who have played CoD. Ds1 went to a friend's house one evening and came home telling me they'd been playing it. I was furious. I have no opinion on other parents letting their kids play (ok I do have an opinion but I keep it to myself) but it is for ME to decide if MY sons are allowed to play it. Which they aren't. Same goes for Grand Theft Auto (vile game). They can stick to Skylanders for the foreseeable future!

daytoday Tue 30-Jul-13 14:40:14

It's basic good manners to check with another parent first.

I won't let my 12 year old play that game.

Beastofburden Tue 30-Jul-13 14:47:34

Boys that age are of course all too ready to be violent. In my own 1960s childhood I remember being revolted by a friends brother who literally tore the wings off butterflies and his mother just laughed it off. I find that unsettling too. And there is that horrible "joke" that all 8 year olds love:

" it's only when you look at them through a strong magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often ants spontaneously burst into flames".

All kinds of violence unsettle me, probably far too much. Not sure if screen violence, which is more extreme on the face of it but at least not real, is worse or not. Not a big fan of Prof Greenfields research personally.

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes Tue 30-Jul-13 15:07:28

I am not a scientist, never mind a Professor of Neuroscience at Oxford University so I don't feel as though I'm in a position to 'rate' her research.

On the basis she may have a point and that 'gaming' is an antisocial, obesity-causing waste of fucking time I don't let my underage dc play computer games. We all have to make our decisions based on what we as parents think is best for our dc I suppose.

xylem8 Tue 30-Jul-13 15:44:15

meh!

Buddhagirl Tue 30-Jul-13 15:57:17

Ss! That is hilarious, i think they are a bit too busy dealing with abuse to bother with children playing computer games.
If the child knows what is real and what is not i don't see the problem. Yanbu to be annoyed.

Back2Two Tue 30-Jul-13 16:08:47

Yes, you're right of course titty
It is obviously "just the boys that I have coming to my house". I am special like that.

If they don't play it, they don't miss it yet. If they do play it...they ask where the console is and/or what they're going to watch. They are also much more likely to say "I'm bored"

holidaywoe Tue 30-Jul-13 16:23:01

My 10 and 8 year old both play the COD games as do their friends I see no problem with them, I do wonder how many parents who hold up their hands in horror have actually played the games. They are just shoot em ups and no different to games I played as a kid or to playing army and soldiers in the woods with toy guns.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Tue 30-Jul-13 16:25:40

DS1 was never allowed games that friends had. So when they came to visit they would bring the banned game. Was I prepared to humiliate him before a friend? Yes and no. Allowed him to play the game but commented upon it as lacking in humanitarianism - really kills the buzz. Also like playing John Lennon 'give peace a chance' at high volume or singing the lyrics - especially if the mic is on.

iclaudius Tue 30-Jul-13 16:26:42

No thanks not for my children
It's supposed to be childhood and its not what I want my children's childhood to be about

Tooearlyintheday Tue 30-Jul-13 16:30:54

If Social Services already have concerns then they would see allowing very young children to play these games as symptomatic of not being a protective responsible parent. Doubt they would accept a referral just for the game itself.

phantomnamechanger Tue 30-Jul-13 17:12:09

I do think schools should be aware of and record/report concerns regarding gaming - as a one off concern, it may not indicate a problem - but in some cases , it may go hand in hand with the dc being always tired/dirty/hungry/inappropriate language or sexual innuendo being used etc - or numerous other indicators of neglect /abuse.

And I do think other parents should check with you that you are ok with what dc play or watch at their house. heck, I even checked that a 10 yo was allowed to watch the 12 rated Harry Potters.

AnnabelleLee Tue 30-Jul-13 18:31:21

anyone who lets young children play these games is a moron.

xylem8 Tue 30-Jul-13 18:51:59

'I always wonder why people are so blind to video game ratings'

... because they have minds of their own, and can form their own judgment as to whether a game is suitable for their offspring or not, rather than having to follow ratings like a mindless sheep.

JenaiMorris Tue 30-Jul-13 18:57:07

To be fair, there are people who seem to think the ratings relate to difficulty. Which is confused

But yes, I prefer to use ratings and other information to make my own decisions. It also works the other way - there's plenty of stuff (games, films, TV whatever) that is either unrated or rated as suitable for a particular age that I'd rather ds avoided.

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