To refuse to hand over my freecycle offers to this girl?

(177 Posts)
GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 16:54:34

We have recently moved and I put a load of stuff on freecycle.

I was emailed by a woman who asked for 3 things, and I told her to pick one as I wanted to share them out. She says, OK, she will have the home gym.

She turns up in a very nice car - I assumed she would be a bit poorer to be scouring the giveaways on Freecycle.

She comes in to get the home gym and spots the dining set out in the hallway ready to be re-homed. She asks if its a G-plan, and when I say yes she asks for that too. She hadn't asked for it originally, but I didn't put the name in the Freecycle ad.

Then she says she can give me 20 for it, and I say no, then she says 40 and I say no, so she asks how much do I want for it and her husband can bring the van to pick it up tonight. Im thinking she is likely going to sell it on and tell her that I wanted to help someone in need and she cant have the table or the home gym, she gets a bit stroppy, but leaves.

Then I get an email from the Freecycle group, saying this member is really disappointed and would I reconsider. Im not going to, but just wondered WWYD? Was I totally out of order?

And is this how freecycle is?? A load of freeloaders trying to make some extra cash? Ive offered before, but only stuff that would otherwise be scrapped, this is the only time Ive offered anything with a resale value.

Also had an email from her, saying she will withdraw her complaint if I let her husband collect tonight. Im not really worried that she has my address.

JamNan Mon 29-Jul-13 16:58:11

Cheeky mare. Tell her it's gone. G-Plan is v collectible and depending on what style will go for well over a 100.

McNewPants2013 Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:24

If you want to warm feeling of helping someone out then donate it to a charity.

You put in on free cycle so IMO its first come first served.

The car could have been the one that is hired by an insurance company after an accident, it could have been her parents or a friends. Do you really judge people by what car they have got.

xylem8 Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:29

Freecycle is about keeping things out of landfill not about playing Lady Bountiful to the poor.

GetStuffezd Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:34

Do NOT let her have the stuff! Greedy woman! It's your bloody property and she's acting like she has a genuine claim to it. Awful behaviour.

RussianBlu Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:53

I think she is being very very cheeky! Send an email complaint in about her. What an absolute joke she is. Some people are very greedy when it comes to things like this though.

aturtlenamedmack Mon 29-Jul-13 16:59:58

Yes, that is exactly how free cycle is I'm afraid.
If you want to help someone I'd donate it to the charity shop or one of the projects that gives out free or almost free furniture to those who have nothing to furnish their home with, then at least you know it's going to a good cause.
Sorry you had a bad experience when trying to do such a nice thing!

chocolatespiders Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:12

I would sell on ebay and if you don't want the money donate it to food bank or charity of your choice or donate to second hand furniture warehouse and they can benefit from it.

Nerfmother Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:14

Totally weird in your part although clearly not judging by other posters. Do some volunteering to make yourself feel better, rather than decide who is worthy of your cast offs. Give it all to a charity shop.

EntWife Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:39

that is my experience of freecycle. a bunch of grasping chancers for the most part.

we regularly get posts to the group page desperately seeking iPads and flat screen tvs. once someone even asked for a yacht! shock

Cabrinha Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:43

She sounds pushy, but I think YABU. I'd be pretty cross if I turned up for the home gym and you refused to give it to me!
Did you put in the add "only for people on their uppers"?!
Tbh, I think if you have things with a resale value but want to help those in need, you should either give to a rejoining charity, or sell them yourself and give the proceeds to charity.
Apart from the practicality of assessing someone's financial situation, I find this idea that you get to decide who is the "deserving poor" a bit distasteful.

This why I don't put my stuff on freecycle any more. Grabby people who feel entitled.
I'd email the freecycle group back and say she was trying to lay claim to stuff she wasn't there to collect then started offering money, they aren't allowed to pay for stuff, she might get thrown off.

Paintyourbox Mon 29-Jul-13 17:03:49

Surely you can put in a complaint about her?!

I am sure in the terms and conditions that Freecycle state no money is to change hands so she shouldn't be making cash offers for things. Additionally they also say you aren't obligated to give goods to the first person who responds!

And fwiw you would prob get a decent price on Gumtree or eBay for the GPlan.

I've given up a bit with Freecycle after finding things I had given away appearing for sale on gumtree a few days later. I wanted to help people who were struggling to afford things rather than lining other people's pockets.

specialsubject Mon 29-Jul-13 17:03:55

unbelievable that the Freecycle mods are telling you that this person is disappointed. You kept your deal and that's it.

are they expecting you to give her the entire contents of your house?

tell them no.

cavell Mon 29-Jul-13 17:04:40

No doubt you will get lots of posters telling you that Freecycle is about reducing landfill and you shouldn't expect gratitude or only want to give to "needy" people.

In my experience, there are a number of freecyclers around who are out to make money and I, personally, don't like that. It seems exploitative and not in the "spirit" of things. I would rather my things went to someone who would actually make use of them.

I would probably have done pretty much what you have done, FWIW.

I'd have sold it to her to be honest - everyone's a winner then given that you were prepared to give it away for nothing. Actually I'd have sold it myself on Ebay but if you don't have the time that's up to you.

But you're making a common misconception about freecycle. Its not to be lady bountiful and help the poor and needy. Its to stop stuff filling up landfill. If you want to be sure it will go to people in need you'd be better off contacting your local womens refuge or homeless shelter.

Having said all this its your stuff and if you don't want to give it to her for whatever reason then don't. But you need to get yourself into the headspace of not giving a shit why people want it if you offer on freecycle or you will just end up fucked off as in all honesty there are many more chancers looking to make money than there are people in need.

CeliaFate Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:17

Freecycle, as I understand it, is about giving your stuff away to the first person who can come and take it.
If you want it out of the way, you should have given it to her.
If you wanted it to go to someone more in need, then you should ring the Council or donate it to a refuge or similar.
Even charity shops are frequented by well off people, she could have bought it from a charity shop. Would that be better? She offered you the money for it.
I think she was cheeky and entitled, but yabu not to have let her take it off your hands.

CecilyP Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:17

YANBU. Until you give them away the things are yours, so you can do what you like with them which includes being able pick and choose who you give them to.

Pootles2010 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:37

So you didn't let her have the home gym that she came out for? Thats unreasonable tbh.

Cross posted with everyone!

Manchesterhistorygirl Mon 29-Jul-13 17:09:34

But the OP didn't keep to her deal. The person came to collect the home gym and the OP refused to hand it over because the car was too posh!

Just because someone had a nice car you know bugger all about their situation. It could have been a company pool car for all you know. I find it extremely distasteful that the OP was playing lady bountiful. Freecycle is to stop stuff going to landfill, not to separate the deserving poor from everyone else. We recently were the recipients if a sofa and chair to dress our conservatory because our house is for sale. I guess that makes me a grabby freeloader!

kim147 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:10:21

I used Freecycle to get some stuff for the house which I could not afford.
A massive "old fashioned" TV - weighs a tonne.
A bed for DS
Bedside table

It kept stuff out of the tip. I've also put stuff on there that I didn't need - I hope it's gone to a good cause. I got some interesting emails from people and I hope they were genuine.

GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 17:10:28

Ha! Yes, I suppose I did think it was only for the deserving poor! The people who have collected my other stuff have been so pleased, I wanted to help someone.. bit lady bountiful of me I agree. But this was a 2 car family... we only have 1 car!

Charity shops don't collect all this, and we have loads, dishwasher, fridge-freezer (new house has inbuilt) plus tons of garden equipment which isn't suitable for this place.

We were given the table, (wouldn't have paid for it) so wanted it to be given away again, and I just cant get the hang of ebay at all. Don't use it to sell.

I did reply to freecycle saying she offered cash, which is against the rules. Havent heard back

YANBU some people royally take the piss on Freecycle, I've stopped using it I got fed up with grabby responses from people with no manners, I would post and off and just get an email saying 'when can I collect?' No Please, Thanks etc.

Also had one lady asking for a double buggy as she was pregnant and already had a little baby, she asked for a Phil and Teds, I offered her a double pushchair but another cheaper brand and got a snotty reply saying that she wouldn't put her kids in anything other than Phil and Teds and was I an idiot offering her shit when she has specified a certain brand. angry

From then on all baby and kids stuff I don't need anymore I give to a local children and family charity or to the paediatric ward at the hospital. Anything else goes to a charity shop.

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 29-Jul-13 17:15:45

Oh seriously OP? Come on. Seriously? What if she turned up in a battered old Reliant Robin dressed like a tramp and smoking a roll up? Would she then be considered eligible for your stuff? Even if she was going straight home to put it on Ebay? Freecycle is NOT a charity service - it's NOT only for poor people (and who are you to decide who is poor and who isn't?) - it IS to keep stuff out of landfill and that is all. It's just not the same as the charity shop volunteer who keeps donated stuff and then sells it on - that would be worthy of contempt but with Freecycle it's just nothing to do with anyone what happens to your stuff once it's taken.

FeckOffCup Mon 29-Jul-13 17:21:13

YANBU not to have given her the table as that was very cheeky of her to ask for it when you had already said you wanted to share things out. YABVU not to have given her the home gym, as others have said it's not really about giving to the needy, who really needs a home gym anyway when you can walk/jog for free or get a home exercise DVD for peanuts in a charity shop? You should have kept to your side of the bargain with the gym whether you thought she needed it or not, I would have been mightily pissed off at wasting the petrol to get there if I was her.

GhostsInSnow Mon 29-Jul-13 17:27:01

I gave up on Freecycle. There are only so many emails of "IL AV IT" and "PIK UP IN ALF OUR WERE R U?" you can take.

I left my group in disgust at a local man who claimed to be a retired hobbyist collecting certain items and repairing them. Then I found his hobby also included flogging his spoils from FC on eBay. Mods did bugger all about it so I'm afraid I flounced. It was rather a good flounce though because I outed him to the entire group as I left. Don't suppose he gets given much anymore ;)

These days anything I have goes down to the local charity shop, they have a furniture section as well and are happy to take that kind of thing.

GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 17:28:07

Yes, I bet she was pissed about the home gym. Still I guess in her game you win some you lose some. I KNOW a lot of people think of Freecycle as a way to help people who don't have much, and it makes me a bit sad that the real poor people miss out.

Does make me think that food banks probably get abused in the same way

GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 17:31:29

Charlie - funny you should say that - I have just got an email from a guy asking for the knitting machine because his wife is disabled and needs a hobby where she can sit down.

He had also emailed me asking for the elliptical trainer for his wife!

WilsonFrickett Mon 29-Jul-13 17:32:13

Erm, no, you need a referral for a food bank, at least you do in my city.

Freecycle is offering you a service - someone will come and pick up stuff you don't want, rather than you tipping it or paying for a council pick up. You don't really get to specify who is poor enough for your services.

Perhaps she can afford her car because she has a business upcycling stuff she gets on freecycle and gum tree? Good on her... one man's trash is another man's treasure in more ways than one...

TarkaTheOtter Mon 29-Jul-13 17:32:31

I'm guessing if you are really hard up a home gym (and the requisite transport to get it home) may not be top of your list of priorities.

Floggingmolly Mon 29-Jul-13 17:33:46

The nerve of her; not only being cheeky when she called but going back to Freecycle to complain you wouldn't give her all your stuff!
Why on earth did they follow it up for her by asking you to reconsider? confused

Maybe he has more than one wife grin

MrsKeithRichards Mon 29-Jul-13 17:35:09

Yabu. You don't have to be a real poor person to use freecycle

oldgrandmama Mon 29-Jul-13 17:35:32

People do use Freecycle to make money - I know one woman who has a business selling second-hand books, CDs and DVDs she gets through Freecycle and another who gets clothes and then sells them on EBay - I found out because my daughter recognised a nice 'vintage' item that I'd given a Freecycler on sale on the site!!!! I suppose some might feel OK about that but I don't - and the woman who wanted your G-Plan (VERY resaleable, with the craze for 'retro' stuff) obviously was some sort of dealer. These days, I take much of unwanted stuff to the local charity shop for them to sell, but obviously you don't want to lug along furniture and gym equipment! There are a few charities that will pick stuff up from you. Call me unreasonable, but I'd rather a charity got some good out of my stuff than someone who uses Freecycle as free stock.

As for being supposed to give stuff to Freecyclers on first come, first serve - that's not correct. YOU can decide to whom you give it. I still use Freecycle now and then and have actually made some great friends through it. I can now recognise some of the 'traders' - they're the ones who apply for absolutely ANYTHING you advertise!

GhostsInSnow Mon 29-Jul-13 17:36:04

goodtouch thats hilarious!

We had one many years ago which was a huge list of things this man needed because he was very disabled. The list included the most random things like car creepers.

Seems to be standard sympathy card, either they are disabled or their child is Special Needs.

BackforGood Mon 29-Jul-13 17:36:24

I give and receive a lot on Freegle (as it became in our area). It's nothing to do with being 'poor' it's to do with letting someone else have use for something you no longer need.
When you give stuff away, it saves you taking it to the tip, and saves you being sad that something perfectly serviceable is getting thrown away. The car you drive, or if you have more than one car in your family is just not relevant - you would actually need a big car to transport a home gym, I'd have thought. Who knows, she may have borrowed it? But even if not, why does it bother you? You don't need it, it's a convenient way of it being removed from your house.
There are lots of ways to feel 'bountiful' as others have said, but that's not what Freegle is about.
Nothing wrong with her asking about the other furniture either - you might have been grateful to get a bit of money for something without having to advertise or put it on e-bay. All you have to do is say "No thanks, it's not for sale". End of.
I too would complain about a poster offering me something then withdrawing it once I got to their house - it's not how it works.

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 29-Jul-13 17:37:07

OP - can you just explain to me where on the Freecycle site it is described as a site for 'the poor'.

Also - what tests can/will you apply to determine who is poor and who isn't?

Optimist1 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:37:30

Of course there will be some people who get things from FreeCycle and sell them on because that's the only way they can augment their wages. I don't have a problem with that.

RalphtheTimid Mon 29-Jul-13 17:37:37

British Heart Foundation collect from you.
www.bhf.org.uk/test/van-collection.aspx

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 29-Jul-13 17:39:03

By the way - I give a great deal away on our Freecycle - I cleared my garage and a lot of the house this way. I do not reply to rude or grabby requests - they are actually very easily ignored/deleted - but any reasonable answer gets considered and I normally give to the first polite answer I get. It's really not up to me to grade or judge applicants.

JacqueslePeacock Mon 29-Jul-13 17:39:40

Plenty of charity shops do collect. Try the British Heart Foundation furniture shops, Red Cross, or a local branch of the Salvation Army. Where I am, all of these will come with a van and take the lot to sell in their shops.

PumpkinPie2013 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:40:15

I don't think YABU to not give the dining set if you hadn't offered it but I do think YABU to not give the home gym as agreed.

I've only done freecycle a couple of times but both times the items went to people who would benefit
e.g. I gave a guitar suitable for learning/beginners to someone for her little boy who really wanted to learn but they were unable to afford to buy him one. It was near Christmas and they were going to wrap it for him as one of his presents.

I don't agree with people taking things to re-sell though but I'm happy to give to anyone who wants the item for themselves although of course it's hard to know what their intentions are.

Generally for smaller items and clothes I give to charity shops or hospitals/homeless shelters.

cakebar Mon 29-Jul-13 17:40:33

I would have given her the gym. You had agreed that, but not the table.

I admit I have been surprised at how well off seeming some of the people have been who have collected stuff. I was quite surprised at the very posh car that collected my second hand car seat, at least they were obviously going to use it for themselves, albeit in a second car. I would rather have given it to someone who was struggling. They were nice and polite though and collected when they said they would.

My 'wish I had given it to someone else' moment wasn't about wealth. It was stuff that people took that I was sure they were going to horde in one of those houses that gets on the tv. Better in landfill than to someone doing that. I have made a note of who they are as I think they have collected stuff off me before so I don't pick them again.

BalloonSlayer Mon 29-Jul-13 17:41:17

grin

I put two pushchairs on freecycle, one hardly used one and a well-used-but-in-good-nick 3-wheeler which I realise is now quite out of fashion. I had loads of requests for the hardly used one, including one from someone who was desperate for something to carry their baby round in . . . needless to say the desperate bloke did not bother to ask for the 3 wheeler. So I let him carry on carting his baby round in a Tesco bag, or whatever, and gave my nearly new pushchair to a nice young mum who didn't have a sob story at all.

microserf Mon 29-Jul-13 17:41:47

Grabby and very cheeky with it! We stopped freecycling for this very reason. Initially I was fine with it, once even gave away a working tv to a very delighted chap who took it home the bus. Then it seemed to degenerate into chancers trying their luck and they got very aggressive. We gave away an old play station and the messages from disappointed posters were very aggressive.

Now all our cast offs regardless go to the charity shop. I got sick of all the grasping.

Ponders Mon 29-Jul-13 17:41:51

agree the woman was being very greedy & should have been happy just to take what she'd been offered. Offering money is completely out of order & I hope your mods will sack her for that hmm

we are very lucky to have a big YMCA shop here which takes furniture and electricals. upholstery has to have the fire label on it. there will be restrictions on electricals too I imagine though I don't know what.

they are happy to collect & are very good at it - we donated a metal-action sofabed which weighs a ton. When we brought it home we struggled to get it in even with the door off - they just tilted & twizzled & out it went!

they do the Gift Aid thing like Oxfam

BHF have furniture/electricals shops too. Our nearest one is about 15 miles away but they will collect from here. worth a google in your area?

StuntGirl Mon 29-Jul-13 17:44:11

Do you have a clipboard with a checklist to make sure the respondents are appropriately poor when they arrive? Do they get bonus points if they have rust on the car? Ooh, or bonus points for no car at all as they are so poor and have to bring their children (in rags and no shoe,s obv.) to help carry it home?

You're being silly. It's a recycling scheme. There is no financial threshold.

nkf Mon 29-Jul-13 17:45:59

Mencap collects furniture. I don't know about whether this was unreasonable, but you and she clashed. Other people would have taken the £20 or £40 or haggled upwards.

ChinaCupsandSaucers Mon 29-Jul-13 17:48:54

agree the woman was being very greedy & should have been happy just to take what she'd been offered. Offering money is completely out of order & I hope your mods will sack her for that

There's nothing to say you can't offer money for something that hasn't been listed on Freecycle though - which is what happened here.
The OP hadn't decided what to do with the table - so no harm in someone asking, if theres obviously a clear-out going on.
I saved loads on eBay listings that way when I cleared my house - i offered stuff I wanted to give away on Freecycle but had another pile of stuff I was going to sell - and several freecycle collectors bought bits off me when they saw them and asked if I was getting rid.

I 'obtain' loads of bits and bobs for my business through Freecycle - so although I'm not selling them on, I'm profiting from them.

EeTraceyluv Mon 29-Jul-13 17:49:03

I agree with the op - whatever the site was set up for, it should be about helping people. I also get e mails along the lines of 'alrite I'll hav it' and such like. On the other hand I posted asking if anyone had a totally obscure car item for dh's broken car and had three replies from people saying they had one!

NatashaBee Mon 29-Jul-13 17:49:20

So what models of car do you consider acceptable for Freecycle collectors to drive? I'd make sure you list them on your offer post next time smile

In all seriousness, though, it is annoying when dealers grab anything and everything on there to sell on and you get a pile of replies saying 'i'll have it pls call me on xxxxxx'. Personally I don't care who takes the item, and am just happy to have the item out of my house, so I usually give to the first person who asks vaguely politely and tells me when they can collect. If they want to sell

silverten Mon 29-Jul-13 17:50:21

I think if you were that picky about who got the goodies then you should have made it clear how people were supposed to meet your requirements. Perhaps you could have specified acceptable car makes or clothing brands or something.

Freecycle is basically about matching up people who don't want their stuff with the people who do, so that it stays out if landfill.

The whole issue of selling stuff on is a bit of a red herring. If the stuff is that good then why isn't the original owner doing the flogging? That's right- it's a complete pain in the arse. So what if that bloke was making money selling things he'd fixed? The people who'd given him the stuff couldn't be bothered to do it. Why shouldn't he have got some return for his time and effort?

At least with freecycle you can generally get someone to pick your stuff up from your house- which is less hassle than dumping it if you organise it right. Yes, there are rude and flaky people on it but these are everywhere...

SirChenjin Mon 29-Jul-13 17:51:01

I used to be on Freecycle but gave up because there were so many people asking for specific things (the 'king sized bed with chocolate leather headboard' was my favourite!) - I didn't ever think of it as anything other than a way to keep things out of landfill.

I would suggest donating stuff to charity if you want to make sure the 'right' people benefit (BHF will come and uplift stuff, and then send you a lovely email to let you know how much the item went for and how much giftaid they were able to claim), or sell it on Gumtree (my new favourite place) and donate the money you make to charity.

liquidstate Mon 29-Jul-13 17:51:23

I freecycle regularly and the I always thought the rules are that you offer to whoever you want. If you want to wait and see who emails then put FOP in the title (Fair offer policy I think) this shows that you wont give to the first person who replies. I always like to give to people who need the items for their own use rather than those that collect and sell on ebay (after covering with Annie Sloan paint so they can charge a packet for it).

I think the lady behaved very badly offering you money and then complaining.

eccentrica Mon 29-Jul-13 17:52:16

yanbu. I've given lots away on freeycle, and received some things too. while it's a great idea, the rudeness of people can get depressing after a while. it's nOt about whether people are rich or poor, it's whether you are giving to someone who really can make good use of it, or someone who wants to make money out of you.

GoofyIsACow Mon 29-Jul-13 17:52:30

Freecycle is horrific, i de-reg'ed after my last ordeal, giving things away is infinitely harder than selling it, people are rude, to be honest in your position, if I had just wanted it out of my sight I would have let her take them i would have seethed inside though but if you weren't that bothered about it going immediately you could have sold them on.

Ponders Mon 29-Jul-13 17:52:59

There's nothing to say you can't offer money for something that hasn't been listed on Freecycle though - which is what happened here

OP said she had listed it, but not as G-Plan. Woman didn't ask for it when it was anonymous - only when she saw it was worth something...

Get over yourself. You put your stuff on Freecycle to get rid of it, that's the point of it.
If you wanted to help someone out , give your stuff to charity.
The aim of Freecycle is to stop stuff going to landfill, not to give you a smug feeling of self satisfaction.

RoxyFox211 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:53:21

Your trying to do a good thing and she's taking the pee. Your property, do what you want with it. If you've already said no she should take that for an answer shock. Sounds like she's not used to not getting own way.

Treagues Mon 29-Jul-13 17:55:13

I wouldn't even think twice about this. Thinking about it positively, she has given you the heads up that you can make some money from what you thought was junk.
Yes Freecycle is full of shitheads with a sense of entitlement. The clever ones play nice so you don't care as much grin

AncientCrone Mon 29-Jul-13 17:55:50

Does it really matter if people sell things? I just FC stuff to get it the hell out of my house. If something is broken and would otherwise be binned, wtf shouldn't someone fix and sell it?

I have never sold anything off FC btw.

The messages here are ridiculous, comments about people not looking poor enough, comments about the cars they drive.
If you're using Freecycle to make yourself feel better about giving stuff away to the unwashed masses then you've missed the point of the community.

starfishmummy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:01:56

Cheeky of her to only ask for the table etc when she saw it was probably worth something. I think I would have told her it was already taken even if it wasn't.
However you had told her she could have the other item so you were unreasonable not letting her have that.

Twirlyhot Mon 29-Jul-13 18:02:35

If you want to give stuff away www.emmaus.org.uk/ is a good choice.

maja00 Mon 29-Jul-13 18:04:23

If you didn't want to give her the table, fair enough - but it was unreasonable of you to decide she didn't deserve the home gym.

Freecycle is a way of getting rid of stuff you don't want. It's not supposed to be about enjoying the power of who is poor enough to deserve your old crap!

HesterShaw Mon 29-Jul-13 18:05:12

Thought the point of Freecycle was to recycle items which would otherwise be scrapped. It's not a charity.

HoneyStepMummy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:06:07

It's your stuff so it's your choice what to do with it. But- if all you wanted to do was get rid of it without filling up a landfill then does it really matter who takes it?
The naice way to deal with this would have been so say "I'm so sorry, I already promised it to someone else who's picking it up later. So sorry".
I would also recommend selling any futures items, even for a small profit, if you are going to be upset over dealing with people like this.

I came on to say the same as Ralph, British Heart Foundtion will come and collect.

We gave them some seriously random stuff (knitting machine etc) and they sent us a letter back saying it had raised over £200 from the items we had donated.

Warm and fuzzy feeling complete. smile

TarkaTheOtter Mon 29-Jul-13 18:10:40

Not sure car is a great measure of financial situation anyway. We are a two car household (live very rurally). DH has a brand new, expensive company car. I have a very old hatchback. Guess which car we use to visit the estate agent/collect things from gumtree etc. DH would park his car round the corner when we were getting quotes done on the house.

Madlizzy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:11:00

I'm a co-owner of a freegle group and agree that the aim is to keep stuff out of landfill. it's not about who is poor and needy, although we can be a great help then. our group does not allow constant wanted posts, and if we think that someone may be taking the pee a bit, they go back onto moderation. we dont mind people selling on, as long as they are open and honest about it so the gifter can make their own decision. we discourage first come, first serve, asking people to give it a bit of time so more members can see the post. we also encourage members to report problems with others do we can try and sort things. no money should change hands.

lljkk Mon 29-Jul-13 18:11:34

yanbu to deny her because she was pushy and that's good enough reason to say no.
But otherwise agree Freecycle is about getting rid of stuff quick & avoiding landfill. Not a charity.

I've had such nice grateful receipients for most my Freegle stuff. The only problem is no shows (assume these are carbooters who want everything delivered to them. hmm ).

Madlizzy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:12:37

oh, and not handing over what you had promised would have warranted a complaint.

MissStrawberry Mon 29-Jul-13 18:13:29

She is a bully and black mailing you.

Balaboosta Mon 29-Jul-13 18:14:19

So you still have the home gym sitting in your place and have to spend more time and effort getting rid of it? Yeah, you really played that

AmberLeaf Mon 29-Jul-13 18:14:51

Yabu and missing the point of freecycle. Also ridiculously judgy.

How would anyone pick up a home gym without a car anyway.

Balaboosta Mon 29-Jul-13 18:15:23

....right!
(blimming phone)

gordyslovesheep Mon 29-Jul-13 18:15:43

YANBU about her demanding the table - but you are being unreasonable about the gym - Freecycle is basically a way of giving away shit you don't want and cnba taking to the tip - it's first come first served and not reserved for 'the deserving poor' (have you come through a time hole from 1845?)

I drive a brand new car - I am not rolling in cash - it is not paid for by me

nokidshere Mon 29-Jul-13 18:18:04

Pointless! If you want to clear put house free cycle it and give the stuff to anyone who is willing to take it away.

If you wAnt to help the needy then put a big more effort into it and call o e of the charities who collect and redistribute furniture etc to the people who need it.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 29-Jul-13 18:18:59

YABU, just for judging her on her car.

Freecycle is not really, or not only, for the 'deserving poor'; it's just a way of passing on things that you no longer find useful to people who might.

I'm puzzled by people saying 'she was cheeky; that furniture's worth much more'; the OP was giving it away!

However, end of the day Freecycle is free and she broke the rules. I'm surprised someone from the site asked you to reconsider rather than slapping her on the wrist – perhaps she didn't tell them she'd offered money?

raisah Mon 29-Jul-13 18:20:48

Contact shelter or Help the aged (they have a furniture shop & collect so it will go to those definitely in need. I have used help the aged before & they were fine to collect with their own van.

GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 18:28:43

Ive removed the lot now. Like you say, no point if Im going to get fussy about who takes it.
Ill either call British Heart Foundation in the morning, or maybe put cards in the supermarket or something.

Didn't hear back from Freecycle, but Ive had emails from the lady alternating between whining (the kids are really disappointed, if youd bothered to ask we are having a really hard time atm.) and vaguely threatening (my husbands not happy about this, he wants to pick it up as promised)

Anyway, Ive learnt my lesson I think

Groovee Mon 29-Jul-13 18:30:20

YABU by not giving her something you had said she could have just because she had a nice car. A mum at school often has to borrow her mum's car which is a brand new posh one. Doesn't mean she is rolling in it.

YANBU about the table. But you really should have given her what you had said she could have.

intheshed Mon 29-Jul-13 18:30:48

I have previously given furniture to homeless charities, they often collect.

Unfortunately freecycle is more about providing a service to get rid of unwanted stuff rather than anything charitable. You can't really complain about someone selling the stuff if you just couldn't be bothered to sell it yourself.

EeTraceyluv Mon 29-Jul-13 18:41:11

The attitude of the woman trying to pay for it though - doesn't anyone think that was outrageous??

Twirlyhot Mon 29-Jul-13 18:43:31

It was at least honest! I'd imagine most of those showing interest would have been listing it as soon as they got it home.

GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 18:51:44

"doesn't anyone think that was outrageous??"

I do of course! I do think a lot of them were at it.. some of the emails Ive got are along the lines of begging letters. They really DO all seem to have a disabled family member...

Dumpylump Mon 29-Jul-13 19:00:07

There are at least two charities where I live who would gladly collect stuff like that and take it away for you...alternatively, at our local recycling centre there is a container specifically for things that can be used again, like tables, and electrical items.
I live in the Highlands so can't help thinking that if we have things like that up here, they must be pretty standard everywhere else too!

ParsingFancy Mon 29-Jul-13 19:07:00

Hah, you wouldn't cope on my local Freecycle, OP. We have slebs and everything.

It really is just for rehoming stuff you don't need.

AidanTheRevengeNinja Mon 29-Jul-13 19:12:03

YANBU. It's your stuff, you can do what you like with it. There is no law that says you have to give it to the first person who asks for it.

I freecycled a bunch of quite nice stuff when we moved house. I gave each item to the first person to send a polite reply - I ignored all the "I want this when can I collect"-ers; didn't care about sob stories. This worked fine, and quite a number of people sent me thank-you emails or texts afterwards.

Use your gut instinct. I am quite careful about who I let have my home address these days.

ParsingFancy Mon 29-Jul-13 19:12:18

BTW, if people are taking stuff to charity shops, did you know you can fill in a form so they will get Gift Aid on your donations. That eg is Oxfam, but I think others do it as well.

Only for those who pay income tax, of course.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 19:13:20

Just wanted to chip in to say that a 'nice car' isn't always an indication of income.
Dh drives a brand new company car, but we're totally skint-arse. The car aint ours.

I regularly scour Freecycle and Gumtree for bargains, and yes we would show up in a swish(ish) car to collect...and you might think we were 'at it'. But we're not.

Yep, this is how freecycle works. People getting free things and selling them on eBay. At least that's how anyone I know uses it. Cheeky really.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm Mon 29-Jul-13 19:18:09

Freecycle, in my experience = computer literate, 4X4 driving MC freeloaders. Tried it once, never again. Some very entitled people out there. Yep also seen the " anyone got a decent car, must be newish,with MOT they want rid of " knobbers.

WeAreEternal Mon 29-Jul-13 19:22:00

In your situation I would have done the same thing.

Yes you probably were slightly unreasonable for not giving her the gym as arranged, but it is yours and you can give it to whomever you please, or not in this case.

I give away quite a bit of stuff of freecycle, I am in no way playing 'lady bountiful', but while I do no longer want the items I choose to give them away rather than sell them because I would like to do something nice for someone else, in this case provide in item to someone who can no afford to go out and buy the things.

I have encountered many chancers and some extremely rude people, the worst is when people act as if they are doing you a favour by taking you item.

A couple of years ago a close friend of mine lost her baby suddenly when he was only 9 days old, she was in pieces and was hospitalised for several weeks after his death, she didnt feel that she could go home to a house full of baby things so asked me to get rid of everything other than a couple of precious items.
I packed up everything and brought it to my house.
After talking with my friend she asked me to give it all away to people on freecycle, because she hoped other people who maybe couldn't afford these items new would be able to enjoy them.

There was quite a lot of stuff, and I had hundreds of messages, quite a few saying things such as 'It will be easier for you just to have to deal with one person and one collection so I will take everything off your hands'
And quite a few just said, 'I want this, this and this, when can I come and collect them'

Eventually I did manage to give it all away to good homes, but it did take a long time to sift through the emails.

Wbdn28 Mon 29-Jul-13 19:22:54

You're at liberty to give the stuff to anyone you choose. You're right to ignore the ones who make you feel uncomfortable. Your things - your choice.

GhostsInSnow Mon 29-Jul-13 19:23:55

goofy your comment of "giving things away is infinitely harder than selling it" made me smile.

I tried to give away an exercise bike on FC. I had a week of semi literate emails, endless disabilities and three no shows.
In the end I put it on eBay, £5 Buy It Now, to be collected with cash. It sold within 15 minutes of going on the site and I split the fiver with my kids.

Wbdn28 Mon 29-Jul-13 19:24:23

Gift aid for stuff given to charity shops is a good idea in theory. But our local charity shop virtually chases people around the shop to make them fill in the gift aid form! I wish they wouldn't do that as I'm sure I can't be the only one who's found it puts me off taking stuff there.

EugenesAxe Mon 29-Jul-13 19:25:09

I don't really have an opinion on your actions either way... but I did want to put in a word for a great Christian charity that helps the homeless (and collecting furniture is part of that):

Emmaus - they have branches around the country and will hopefully have one near you.

MummytoMog Mon 29-Jul-13 19:27:09

I gave up on Freecycle - everyone was just so damn rude. Stick stuff on eBay with a 99p start price, then it goes.

MiaowTheCat Mon 29-Jul-13 20:06:48

I do put stuff on freecycle - but I really don't like it going to the ebay crew or the bullshit merchants who just want everything. I'm not contractually obliged to give it to the first person who asks - so I don't.

I don't give to anyone who instant-replies with "I'll have the item" and doesn't specify what the item is... rules out a lot of the ebay brigade. I've been on our groups long enough to know who the bulk of the resident piss takers ("I need a TV desperately - must be 42 inch plasma" or, and this one's true "I need an iPad, I can't buy one as that's the money I have saved up to have my cat put to sleep but if I have to I will") and I just avoid them.

Not the "oh do they need to turn up in rags" that it's being distorted to be by the usual suspects here - but just that I don't like serial pisstakers who are wrecking something that used to be a good little system (and our freegle's blooming jammed with wanteds these days). I also state very clearly on postings that I'm not ringing mobile phone numbers, and I'm not buying into sob stories - and that I'll be checking my email at roughly X time so don't send me 97 emails at 10 minute intervals to see if I'm giving you the item yet (have had that one as well).

TheRealFellatio Mon 29-Jul-13 20:13:14

This is the trouble with Freecycle. To be honest, unless you are getting rid of very basic toot that someone hard up is desperate for, almost everything else will get sold on. Especially the G Plan stuff. Some of them are very good at giving you a spiel that leads you to believe they are hard up, and then they come around with an estate car fully equipped with packing blankets etc, and they know exactly how to load everything in two seconds flat - because they do it every day. Most things that get taken on Freecycle will be on Ebay or at a boot fair before the week's out.

If you really care about who it goes to then sell it yourself and donate the money to Shelter or something. If not, just accept that it's an easy way of getting stuff out of your house and be a bit more pragmatic about it.

Wbdn28 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:19:31

Wanted - Laptop

See that one regularly! hmm

maja00 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:25:45

Er... what's wrong with wanting a laptop confused They're pretty vital these days!

maja00 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:28:18

Why does anyone care if it gets sold on though? You can't be bothered to sell it on yourself, and want it out of your house - easier to freecycle it than take it to the dump or organise rubbish collection.

I just give things to whoever answers politely and can pick up soonest. Do not give a fuck what happens to my junk once it's not on my property anymore!

AnnabelleLee Mon 29-Jul-13 20:28:35

The amount of people who think that Freecycle is some kind of charity with the main purpose of making them feel good about their largesse....ffs, its to save you the bother of going to the dump!
give your shit to whoever you like. But get some perspective!

LeGavrOrf Mon 29-Jul-13 20:33:40

I really, really recommend Emmaus. They are a great charity, the collect furniture etc and then workshops (where they re condition stuff) and shops ate staffed by the former homeless, ex offenders etc. They so a lot of great work.

maddening Mon 29-Jul-13 20:50:49

See if any women's shelters need anything - when they help women and their dc find a new home they often have nothing and may be moving in to unfurnished accommodation.

Paintyourbox Mon 29-Jul-13 21:02:10

There was a great one on our local freecycle today. Wanted: Flat.

The mind boggles!

ljny Mon 29-Jul-13 21:05:27

Thank you, Op. YANNNBU.

So much of my house was furnished from freecycle. When I can, I try to 'give it forward'.

Like WeAreEternal said, it's not playing Lady Boutiful to simply want to do something nice for someone.

What gets to me about the chancers and ebayers is their lies. I'm happy to give to them last, if no one needs what I've decluttered this week - but these creeps make up sob stories - and they're more experienced at it than the people who really need stuff.

Yes, freecycle is about saving landfill - but it should also be about trust. And these idiots have destroyed that. You can't choose who you pass stuff to any more thanks to these twats.

AnnabelleLee Mon 29-Jul-13 21:07:11

Oh please. hmm

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 29-Jul-13 21:11:27

It does make me larf - the one thing nobody's allowed to do on MN is 'judge' and yet - what have we here? Wholesale judging approved by 'the usual suspects' confused. Make your minds up ffs grin

freerangechickens Mon 29-Jul-13 21:16:50

The entitled, grabby people, and the fact that it was always the same few people who came to collect my stuff and then resold it was the very reason I gave up on Freecycle years ago.

LynetteScavo Mon 29-Jul-13 21:18:45

I've only every Freecycled things I want taken away now, quickly and easily....easier than lugging to the tip or ebaying.

I think Freecycle was invented to help you pass on things you really don't want, and to keep usable items out of landfill, not to make you feel good about helping another human being in need. Although I've had some lovely emails thanking me for things I've given. Always from women, who've sent their DH to collect....maybe it was just some dodgy guy who was going to sell at the car boot all along...grin

YANBU to refuse to give your property to anyone that you want to. Do some of you realise that a cashier in a supermarket has the right to refuse a sale to anyone, without any reason at all? and they don't even own the products and they are being paid for it. The OP wants to help people out who are less well off than she is, but it is still entirely up to her who, if anyone, she gives her things to. Regardless of what car the lady arrived in, she was rude and pushy.

mynameismskane Mon 29-Jul-13 21:20:52

You would make a fortune selling g plan!

AnnabelleLee Mon 29-Jul-13 21:21:36

That cashier will get fired pretty fast though. And how is that relevant?

justmyview Mon 29-Jul-13 21:22:05

YABU for not giving her the home gym as promised

YANBU to refuse to sell something else that hadn't even been offered yet

Lovecat Mon 29-Jul-13 21:22:45

I used Freecycle 8 years ago to get rid of my maternity clothes and DD's baby stuff - met some really lovely people (including one fab couple who sent me some lovely photos of their DD in the bouncy chair I gave away). I too got fed up with the avalanche of arsey subliterate emails demanding stuff and haven't looked at the site for years now. It became very apparent that people wanted stuff just to sell on and I decided I could do that myself!

Re. the offering money thing - one time when I was lowcarbing I went and collected some Atkins bars that someone was offloading - the woman spent 10 minutes hedging around telling me how expensive the bars were before she gave them to me - I realised afterwards she was probably after me offering her some cash for them and I was too thick to cop on... confused

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Mon 29-Jul-13 21:45:01

I see hilarious requests on my local Freecycle: not 'just' for laptops but for laptops in great condition with loads of software; good condition 3 piece suites in specific colours; white goods of all kinds; particular makes of prams!

I primarily use it for convenience, because for stuff I don't want and can't easily make money out of myself, I can get someone to come to my door and take it away. But for quite a bit of stuff now I take it to charity shops or put it through Amazon trade-in.

YANBU. I would have done exactly what you did - not because of the car she drove, but because she wanted the dining set ONLY when she found out it was a good brand AND because she tried to pay for it. I would answer your email from the freecycle administrators pointing out that she broke the rules and that was why you refused to give her anything.

Tryharder Mon 29-Jul-13 22:18:52

I think you were slightly wrong not to give her the home gym given that you had already offered it to her. But her attitude was unbelievable. Why did you not just tell her that the dinner service was not on offer and ended the conversation.

Agree with others that freecycle is not just for poor people. I have quite a nice looking car which I bought myself and I have had loads of stuff from freecycle. I don't sell it on. It's stuff that I use myself or give away to friends and family, usually clothes or toys or bits and bats for the house.

Ironically, a relative of mine who is on benefits and 'poor' would rather die than dress her kids in anything second hand or give them second hand toys.......

chipmonkey Mon 29-Jul-13 22:31:14

YABU. Freecycle is to stop things going to landfill and to stop me some people from hoarding.
I am a middle-class professional if I must be streamed hmm I started a small business from home. One of my suppliers will only take orders by fax and I have to fax him around once a month. I really didn't want to buy a fax machine but was planning to. Then when on freecycle trying to give my own stuff away, I saw that a man was offering a fax machine. So I replied and he gave it to me. He did not ask to see my bank account.

When I have given stuff away, it has been to a mix of people, a lot are young mums who are very sensibly IMO getting sterilisers and slings from me which they will use for a few months and then pass on to someone else.

I actually don't care if they ebay it either. I don't want it, am not bothered enough to ebay it, and if they are savvy enough and possibly broke enough to do it, fair play to them. Once it's theirs, it's not mine any more to be bothered about.

chipmonkey Mon 29-Jul-13 22:34:04

Oh and YWVU not to give her the gym when you said you would. No wonder she complained. The dining set was up to you, of course but a promise is a promise.

Sunnysummer Mon 29-Jul-13 23:06:35

YANBU. Yes, freecycle isn't a charity but it does feel frustrating when you get lots of responses and then you find that it's going to a chancer, when there might have been another responder who genuinely needed it. It's not about playing Lady
Bountiful, it's about fairness - and knowing from experience what it's like to be in such a hard place that getting a free matching dinner set would have been a highlight of the match.

When we freecycled a load of stuff we tried to vary who we offered things to, as there are definitely some oddballs who want everything, whether a set of free weights, an old VCR, or a box of feathers and pipe cleaners! We thought that they were more likely hoarders than cheeky, so tried to stick with the responders who wrote friendlier emails and explained why they wanted it.

Alternatively, it can be worth contacting local shelters or food banks to see if there is anywhere that you can leave things to go directly to those in need.

Sunnysummer Mon 29-Jul-13 23:12:25

Ooh, jus saw that you didn't end up giving her the home gym.. That does sound a bit U.

Spreading the freecycle love = v reasonable, withholding due to nice car = not v fair.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou Mon 29-Jul-13 23:22:07

I've never used freecycle but I thought is was so people could get rid of their stuff and get stuff they wanted for free. I had no idea about the sharing out or giving to the deserving poor or charging people for stuff you've said you are giving away. I can't get worked up about people upselling. I've given sackfulls of Boden kids clothes to charity shops which may well have been bought by people welling on ebay. Good luck to them.

AnnabelleLee Mon 29-Jul-13 23:27:08

It is. It's just that some people want to give out the shit they want shot of only to people who appear suitably needy so they can get a little do-gooding glow.

EarthtoMajorTom Mon 29-Jul-13 23:28:00

Blerghhhhh.
The other side of an attitude like the OP's is what happens when you put stuff on Freecycle: you get a pile of sob story replies making out that if you don't give to them, they'll be repossessed, starving and suicidal by the end of the week. Yuck. I delete those emails first.

AnnabelleLee Mon 29-Jul-13 23:30:23

its a chicken and egg, they feed off each other.

ChippingInHopHopHop Tue 30-Jul-13 00:02:55

It's not to get a 'do-gooding glow' - it's a genuine desire to help people who are struggling a bit. Some of us understand what it's like to have been there and genuinely want to help a bit when we can.

AnnabelleLee Tue 30-Jul-13 00:15:08

Thats the same thing, you're making it about YOU, and how about how much people may or may not need your old stuff that you can't be bothered to or isn't good enough to sell. And that means you are making value judgements on the people who respond, as to how needy they are.
Seriously, if you want to help people who are struggling, find a charity. The aim of freecycle is to keep rubbish out of landfill, thats it.

BackforGood Tue 30-Jul-13 00:16:41

I do wonder about what sites some of you must be on. I've been using Freecycle / Freegle for years, and can honestly say I've never had any of these problems you are talking about. I don't think I've ever had a sob story - certainly can't remember one, but if I did, I'd take it with a big pinch of salt. Tbh, I don't really mind who has it, as it's something I need out of my house as is no longer needed by me.

Yes, it's possible the odd thing has been sold on - how would I know ?confused but even if I did know, well, fair play to them for using a bit of initiative to earn a few quid. I had the option to sell the stuff but couldn't be bothered, so if someone else can, well fair enough.
99% of the time though I've had extremely grateful people take stuff that I no longer want, off my hands - win win as far as I can see.

MidniteScribbler Tue 30-Jul-13 01:58:14

I gave up on it a few years ago after my father died. I had lots of his stuff to sort out and give away, so I was offering a load of all sorts of stuff on freecycle, often 10-20 posts at a time. I tried to be fair and offer them to a variety of different people, but I got so many abusive emails because people wanted everything I posted. Then there are the ones who don't show up on time, or the endless "I'll have it" emails, or asking me to call them. I always asked in my original posting that people tell me when they would be able to pick up as that was generally what I based my decision on, and if they didn't include that, then they got nothing, but they'd keep sending emails asking if they could have it. I don't care if they were selling it on, but I don't appreciate abuse when I've offered them something and they think they are entitled to more.

nkf Tue 30-Jul-13 10:46:23

Whatever the purpose if freecycle, there us at heart some sort of transaction. And transactions can feel pleasant or they can feel uncomfortable. This collector misjudged the situation. That's all.

aldiwhore Tue 30-Jul-13 10:55:35

I used freecycle items for my crafting.

I'm quite open about it, I'm not terribly poor, or worthy.

I have given up on the site because it's full of people looking to make a quick buck and others who seem to thrive off judging who is worthy enough.

I get my free stuff from the local tip now.

I think if more people approached Freecycle with the attitude that you want to get rid of something that you don't want ending up in landfill and nothing more, it's healthier all round.

YABU.

chipmonkey Tue 30-Jul-13 11:26:15

nkf the collector did not misjudge the situation. Whatever sort of a person she is, she replied to an email, was promised a home gym, turned up to collect it and was told she couldn't have it. No mix up, no mistake, the OP just didn't like the look of her!

It was the OP who misjudged the purpose of freecycle. It's not a charity.

jacks365 Tue 30-Jul-13 11:30:27

Chipmonkey the collector did misjudge she turned up to get a home gym then put pressure on the op to also hand over a table and it was that attitude that lost her the gym.

DreamingofSummer Tue 30-Jul-13 11:33:00

I'm with the OP. As soon as the woman turned up and started offering cash she'd outed herself as a trader. At that point the OP was right to show her the door.

Freecycle's aim is "Freecycle groups match people who have things they want to get rid of with people who can use them"

not to provide traders with free stock

GoodTouchBadTouch Tue 30-Jul-13 11:39:38

I think I did the right think by myself. She had a wasted journey, job hazard, write it off as expenses. No different than going to do a quote for a job you don't get.

Like you say Dreaming she outed herself as a trader which is not the point of freecycle.

I would've let her have the gym regardless of her car though. I saw the car pull up, let her in anyway to get the gym. Only changed my mind when she started trying to do a deal like a chubby del boy

HatieKokpins Tue 30-Jul-13 11:40:32

Fuck, I hate the phrase "deserving poor", it's extremely judgemental.

Also, freecycle isn't a fucking charity!

GoodTouchBadTouch Tue 30-Jul-13 11:50:09

OK, I wrongly assumed the charitable aspect.

Still - "Freecycle groups match people who have things they want to get rid of with people who can use them"

This bird clearly wasn't going to use the table

FasterStronger Tue 30-Jul-13 11:54:22

if someone is giving you something for free, it is probably best not to piss them off.

MumnGran Tue 30-Jul-13 12:00:15

Oh OP ...it so sad these days that free sites have attracted a lot of the wrong sort .
Everything has a resale value these days, and I suspect your 'visitor' was one such.......i.e. grab freebies wherever you can and then sell on at car boot or on ebay!
Very very far from the concept. sad

differentnameforthis Tue 30-Jul-13 12:36:54

I assumed she would be a bit poorer to be scouring the giveaways on Freecycle

hmm it isn't just for poor people, op! The whole point of freecycle is to keep stuff out of landfil!

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 30-Jul-13 12:41:07

You were wrong to assume that Freecycle is only for poorer people. It doesn't work like that and you do sound very judgmental there. However...

The minute she started eyeing up my G-Plan and offering cash, I would have shunted her out of the door. She is probably a trader and I am one myself so can spot them a mile off! (Although I buy my stock, not hawk Freecycle) The home gym is yours and it is up to you what to do with it. She has no "right" to it so she can swivel. She's shot herself in the foot by being such a cheeky mare. Tell the FC mods that she was offering cash for goods you advertised.

GoodTouchBadTouch Tue 30-Jul-13 12:41:38

OK, but I assumed you wouldn't bother doing that UNLESS you were poor.. surely most people would rather have brand new delivered to your door?

You think that people look at the offers purely from an environmental POV, hoping they can save the planet?

differentnameforthis Tue 30-Jul-13 12:42:49

So you didn't let her have anything!?

Freecycle isn't there for you to feel better about helping the poor & needy, op. I think you were wrong to refuse to let her what she originally came for!

But this was a 2 car family... we only have 1 car! What the hell has how many cars she has got to do with it? How do you know her dh's isn't a company car, or hers even? We have 2 cars, dh's is a company car that we don't even have to pay to fill up...YABmassivelyU.

Viviennemary Tue 30-Jul-13 12:42:56

I don't give anything to freecycle for this reason. If you give things to a charity shop then at least the charity is benefitting from the sale even if the person gets in cheap. I don't want my stuff to go to entitled selfish greedy people for free. They are nothing but takers.

GoodTouchBadTouch Tue 30-Jul-13 12:43:48

Well, Marmalade, maybe you SHOULD hawk Freecycle, just to keep the stuff from the landfill?

But yes, I do take your point. Not just for poor people

GoodTouchBadTouch Tue 30-Jul-13 12:45:51

Nope, didn't let her have anything. She has stopped emailing now.

Ive found homes for a few bits from the "wanted" ads. At least I know they are wanted.

differentnameforthis Tue 30-Jul-13 12:47:24

I am not poor op, but I would rather recycle something than pay $$ for brand new, especially if there is good life left in it. I recently picked up a chest of drawers for dd which is in great condition. I gave a first stage car seat away to a church group who needed it for a family in need.

I gave away all my baby stuff to a young (homeless) mothers charity, because I wanted that to go to a specific target group, perhaps you should have done the same of you wanted a specific group of people to benefit.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 30-Jul-13 12:48:17

I cba doing it tbh.

There is rarely anything of interest on my local boards (was on there for ages waiting for someone to chuck out old tiles that I wanted for decorating my garden) and I prefer to get my stock from charity shops/car boots because my profits mean that I can afford to. I wouldn't feel right taking goods for free to sell on. Just me though, I know plenty who would.

AnnabelleLee Tue 30-Jul-13 13:34:23

I don't see why you shouldn't. If you are putting something on freecycle, it has no value to you. If it did, you would sell it or use it yourself.
So you get rid of it for free to someone who sees value in it. What does it matter if they want to sell it? You couldn't be arsed to, but you don't want someone else to? I'd call it childish but that would be unfair to children....

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 30-Jul-13 13:35:24

Who are you addressing, Annabelle?

anchovies Tue 30-Jul-13 13:46:23

I don't care if people sell the stuff I freecycle, or if they are poor or loaded. I do however require some manners! I'd have told her to get screwed same as I automatically delete anyone who emails me with "I will collect it tonight."

ParsingFancy Tue 30-Jul-13 14:09:01

"You think that people look at the offers purely from an environmental POV"

I do.

I don't think it will save the planet, but it will save a rise in my council tax bills given my area's due to run out of landfill space in the next 10 years.

anklebitersmum Tue 30-Jul-13 14:47:19

I've done both ends of freecycle.

Gave away a 'good condition cream, leather 3 piece suite' and couldn't believe the cheek of some people's e-mails to be honest..can I have a picture? Is it old fashioned? Will you deliver it too? etc etc. I mean, it's FREE do you want it or not?

I gave it to the nice lady who asked politely and didn't care what it looked like. We even followed her home with the sofa as it wouldn't all fit in her friends van.

I've also had some lovely items from nice people who were just upgrading their kit. My spare freezer for example.

I think I'd have given her the gym but she'd have whistled for the table. Fancy having the bare-faced to cheek complain when she tried to hawk stuff from your home shock

It's a shame some people spoil things because they have no manners. Ironically they're free too wink

MyDarlingClementine Tue 30-Jul-13 15:16:26

it works all kinds of ways on FC and I have been using it for years, furnished my house with it and got lots of lovely stuff, and given back lovely stuff too. only once have i had odd woman come to get stuff.

I have had friends get stuff that was literally fit for the tip, and been used by people as a rubbish collection service, i have gone a long way to get stuff only to find wildly optimistic description was given...its all part and parcel.

some stuff i want to get rid of and cant be bothered to go to charity shop, some stuff is more speical and i take more time on the answers for it.

dont be so sanctimonous.

2rebecca Tue 30-Jul-13 15:18:16

I've given stuff away on freecycle, generally low value bulky stuff. I have never considered it to be like giving to a charity or the needy, after all I look at freecycle and I'm fairly well off, it's just a good place to look for and get rid of bulky stuff that would be too expensive to post.
I don't think she was unreasonable to offer you money for the table, if I wanted rid of stuff then if one person wants 2 or 3 things it's less hassle for me than having other folk come to look at it.
It sounds as though you should ask charity shops to pick up your stuff if you don't like the first come first served principle of freecycle.
It's supposed to save stuff going into landfill sites, not be a wealth redistribution service.

MyDarlingClementine Tue 30-Jul-13 15:19:41

Ankle biter, for such a large item i am amazed you expect people to go and pay to hire vans etc without some idea whats its like!

most people give pics for large items!

i got a baby grand piano and i was invited to go and see it first before i spent 100 on taking it away and making sure i had space!

I also got a stunning chinese chest, again a photo was supplied, i won it - and when i got there they were still talking to me - as though if i didnt want it seeing it in the flesh, no probs at all...

I would never expect people to come and take away a large suite without seeing it!

AncientCrone Tue 30-Jul-13 15:22:47

Why is selling automatically bad? Perhaps that's how someone's getting food on the table, or are we assuming it's all going on second holidays and flashy jewellery?

And why shouldn't someone ask for a photo of something like a three piece suite?

2rebecca Tue 30-Jul-13 15:30:04

I got rid of some large granite stones via freecycle and I put in photos of those so people wouldn't have a wasted journey, I'd definitely put in photos of a suite if I was getting rid of it. It sounds as though the OP should have donated stuff to these people www.frn.org.uk/ if she wanted to give her stuff to poorer people only. If I had decent furniture to get rid of and no relatives wanting it I'd give to somewhere like that. I only use freecycle for low value stuff.

ssd Tue 30-Jul-13 15:33:24

don't blame you in the least op, I'd have done the same

MikeOxard Tue 30-Jul-13 15:34:45

Haven't you got a local Emmaus? I'm with you about freecycle. Good theory taken advantage of by chancers a lot of the time, which just makes you feel bad about the people who missed out.

Armadale Tue 30-Jul-13 15:38:32

I haven't read the whole thread, just the first couple of pages so I might have missed the plot a bit, but wanted to say:

Lots of people seem to think it is strictly first come/first served with freecycle to avoid landfill.

But I'm in a freecycle group and in the rules it asks you specifically NOT to do first come first serve

It is seen as unfair on people who don't have instant access to the internet, eg might only access it at the library every couple of days becuase they can't afford it at home.. so my local freecycle (I'm in south london ) seems to have the idea that it is NOT just avoiding landfill but helping people who need the stuff.

Up until this year ago we gave away a lot of stuff on freecycle. Everyone who came to collect seemed pleased to have the items and we were pleased they were being appreciated. I am not sure I would have wanted to give stuff away for free to people who were just going to sell it on.

A lot of people do use it with the idea of helping others, we always have, and I don't think this is a 'lady bountiful' issue at all....and freecycles rules itself seem to support the idea.

My DH lost his job in Jan and our washing machine broke in March so since then I have been looking on freecycle for one BUT they always go to people who can reply quickly as they can afford smart phones with internet access, which I can't, and it means the people most in need don't get a look in. I think it is better if people use the freecycle rules and actually make a judgement when they have all the replies rather than doing first come, first served.

Cravey Tue 30-Jul-13 15:40:24

G plan is worth a fortune if its in good condition. She knows this. And wants to sell it on. Tell her to put a complaint in. You offered her something, she chose what she wanted and that's that.

2rebecca Tue 30-Jul-13 15:43:25

With me it isn't that first come first served as I don't have a smart phone so when I have offered stuff I've usually come home to find several replies. Once I'd decided to get rid of stuff I didn't want to hang around for ages though so it usually went to someone who could pick it up fairly soon at a convenient time. I was surprised that a couple of times I said someone could come and collect something and they never got back to me, I wondered if some people had a system of sending an automatic reply to anything offered.

PomBearArmy Tue 30-Jul-13 15:53:13

I once freecycled a tumbledryer and had so many offers (with sobstories attached) I was overwhelmed. I chose the first one, and recognised the couple when they turned up, they are big car-booters in our town. I went along on Sunday and sure enough, the tumble dryer was there with a £50 sticker on it!

But to be honest I could have sold it myself, I just wanted it gone. That's the only time to freecycle really. If you care about who is going to be taking your stuff away, ebay it instead.

Stinkyminkymoo Tue 30-Jul-13 15:57:06

YABU about the home gym, I don't understand why you didn't just give it to her?

YNBU about the other thing, that's not what she came for & you said no she should have left it.

All a bit weird I think.

anklebitersmum Tue 30-Jul-13 16:07:42

MyDarlingClementine I've never seen photos on local freecycle. Maybe it's more common now than five yrs ago? I expected someone local to collect it-potentially in a couple of lifts with an estate car or small van perhaps. It didn't occur to me that someone would be looking to spend money hiring a van to be honest or feel obliged to take it if they didn't like it on sight.

Still, the lady with manners got it. She won it out of the hat with the other half dozen that used them when replying. I'm guessing that's as fair as any other method. grin

alreadytaken Tue 30-Jul-13 16:17:45

armadale - post a wanted on your freecycle. If you have a history of having donated there may be someone who will offer.

Op I have collected and delivered an item from freecycle for someone without a car, to refuse for the car alone would be unreasonable. I would probably have let her take the gym, I wouldn't have let her have the furniture. I don't think it was unreasonable to send her away if you thought she was a dealer but you had made a contract and in theory I think she could sue you for petrol costs.

Freecycle does seem to have moved on from junk you'd like removed. We've had furniture people have asked for "because they are broke and setting up home" that was not collected because it wasn't in perfect condition.

silverten Tue 30-Jul-13 17:59:30

OK, but I assumed you wouldn't bother doing that UNLESS you were poor.. surely most people would rather have brand new delivered to your door?

Actually, no, OP. Believe it or not some of us prefer old stuff to the crappy new shit the shops are often crammed with. Depends on what it is, obviously, but there is so much tat about now that simply isn't worth buying. And for some things, I'm not quite sure whether I'd use it enough to justify buying a new one, so trying out a second hand one saves me cash. If it doesn't work for me, I pass it on again. This is one of the reasons I'm not 'poor'- I don't waste money on every little whim that gets marketed at me..

Armadale Tue 30-Jul-13 18:04:07

thanks, already taken, I will do so.

orangepudding Tue 30-Jul-13 18:38:37

I gave away a childs bike on Freecycle, it was a bit tatty(as I had described in the advert) but perfectly usable.
The woman who collected it didn't look very impressed or even say thanks. I have seen her since as her grandchild attends my childrens school and she just looks straight past me. It really put me off.

kali110 Tue 30-Jul-13 18:50:42

I think you were bu to not give her the home gym, but not the table, she sounds like a right cheeky cow!then to go tell on you? You should have let her have the gym as it was agreed. I cant believe the site contacted you to say she was disappointed! I hope you will be contacting them to say you received threats from her

youmaynotlikethis Sat 10-Aug-13 22:40:15

When I put something on free cycle it's because I don't want it so don't care where it goes

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