To be fed up of this tirade.

(119 Posts)
babybearsmummy Mon 29-Jul-13 14:17:44

A lot of you may remember my post last week R.E. the wedding cake. I didn't do it due to dp and dd being so ill. Friday came along and my dd had had a HUGE fever during the night- the ear infection she'd been diagnosed with on the wednesday had got the better of her and she was very floppy and sad and wouldn't stop crying unless she was being held my my dp and I. So we whizzed her down the doctors as soon as they opened on friday and got her checked over again and she was given stronger anti-biotics and has been dosed up with antibiotics and calpol over the weekend and is feeling a lot better now.

But as my dd was so ill, I decided not to go to my friend's wedding (dp had to pop into work a few times over the day, even though they'd given him the day off compassionate leave) So there was no way I could, let alone wanted, to leave her.

I got a text at 10am from my friend saying that, due to my lack of "compassion" in "a time of crisis" that I was no longer welcome to the wedding. So I replied that dd was not well and couldn't come anyway (no reply for the rest of the day).

But as of Saturday, I've had non stop calls to my mobile and landline, texts, emails, facebook messages from her and her mum saying how selfish I was for not properly apologising or attending the wedding to make amends. I've turned off the phone, my mobile, shut down the computer and everything, but the messages keep racking up. I just want to cry. It's like they're sat talking to each other and every time they think of something nasty to say, they have to call/ message me again. AIBU to just want to cry and want my "friend" to find something more interesting to do on her honeymoon than shout at me!! I knew this would come back to bite me on the bum.

ugh. She sounds horrible, can you block as much as possible?

and how could you have attended the wedding to make amends? You were uninvited!

phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Jul-13 14:21:42

you are better off without friends like that, truly you are. how utterly selfish of her. the original cake request was out of order in the circs, and with your child so ill your priorities were in the right place.

they can go to hell

oh and one text back "this is harassment and I am saving as evidence for the police - please do not contact me again"

thebody Mon 29-Jul-13 14:21:57

so you didn't make the wedding cake or you didn't attend the wedding?

not doing the first seems a terrible let down but not attending if your child is ill seems sensible.

hope your dd is feeling better.

phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Jul-13 14:22:42

then block/ignore/unfriend

thebody Mon 29-Jul-13 14:22:52

didn't see your original post so sorry if all been said before.

DidoTheDodo Mon 29-Jul-13 14:23:16

(I followed your previous cake thread)
She is mad as a spoon and completely unreasonable to be behaving like this. I am aghast.
She's just got married and all she can think of to do is message you vitriol??
Not a friend at all, in any sense of the word.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Mon 29-Jul-13 14:23:40

Oh you poor thing. I hope your daughter is feeling better. I'm with you on wondering why she doesn't have better things to do straight after her wedding.

Did the "you are no longer welcome to my wedding" text come on the day of the wedding?

DidoTheDodo Mon 29-Jul-13 14:24:36

Oh and I hope your DD is feelig a bit better today.

cjel Mon 29-Jul-13 14:24:48

YANBU to want to cry, I would as well. I think you are better off without them I would also echo suggesting you will collect messages to report harassment. then if they continue reprt it. Don't suffer them in silence.

LessMissAbs Mon 29-Jul-13 14:25:11

You would think she would be more interested in the fact she's just got married! Is she not going away on honeymoon?

mignonette Mon 29-Jul-13 14:25:11

They are not friends. Bridezilla stuff stops after the wedding. And roping in Mothers/various hideous relatives to harrass you is off the scale vile.

Dump her. and give her an 'official warning' re contacting you again.

You are perfectly reasonable in your actions.

thebody, the OP was asked to make the cake at the very last min after the bride had been "let down" by the original cake makers. The OP never said she could/would

CunningAtBothEnds Mon 29-Jul-13 14:25:16

(Body just to catch you up the OP hadnt let the bride down, the brides original cake maker did, and the OP couldnt bail her out due to time constraints and illness)

OP what a bunch of horrid people! Childish! YANBU

GoodMorningMoon Mon 29-Jul-13 14:25:22

I am gobsmacked on your behalf!

What a miserable fucking twat she is! To torment you and to do on her honeymoon. Just goes to show you what type of person she is. I hope this bites her in the arse.

I'd block her on Facebook/email, and screen all phone calls. You just can't engage in these conversations with such insane, irrational people.

flowers

thebody Mon 29-Jul-13 14:27:10

right well then she's a vile cow op and follow the advice above.

however if she's so bored on her honeymoon I wouldn't rate the happiness of her married state.

DidoTheDodo Mon 29-Jul-13 14:27:15

I bet her new husband is pleased as buggery to be spending his honeymoon with a miserable, obsessed, madwoman.
#Igiveittwoyearsmax

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 14:28:31

What a cow!!!
Since when does a fucking cake matter this much....a fucking cake??!!

Oooh I am steaming on your behalf, and right at this moment think she is asking for a bloody nose. angry

I may come back once I have something sensible to say.

What a nasty , vicious pair of loons they both are! angry

She's actually on her honeymoon and continuing to harass you, what a tit!

Do keep a log of all contact from them, did she have form for being slightly loopy before she had the cake drama?

DipMeInChocolate Mon 29-Jul-13 14:29:21

What a bitch. You did the right thing re the cake - which was HER fucking problem in the first place for dicking you about. Going to a wedding with a poorly child is a far more selfish act.
thanks you should not be attacked by them for this.

CookieLady Mon 29-Jul-13 14:30:45

Ignore, ignore, ignore. It's frustrating them no end that you've not responded to their vitriol. I would second the above suggestion of warning them that this is harassment and if they won't desist they leave you with no choice but to contact the police.

Hope your little one is feeling better.

Bogeyface Mon 29-Jul-13 14:31:05

I totally agree with emailing AND texting AND FBing one message to both of them.

"I do not wish to have any further contact with you. I consider the messages you have sent so far to be harassment, if I receive any further messages then I will be contacting the police." then delete and block.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 29-Jul-13 14:33:08

Wow, your "friend" is an absolute maniac! It would be one thing if you had arranged to make the cake to start with and had to back out at short notice, but seeing as that wasn't even the case, she has NO right to give you a hard time now. What an immense bitch! How can people treat others like this?

I second previous suggestions to warn her clearly that her behaviour constitutes harassment and you are keeping the messages, etc. as evidence to give to the police. Then do actually ring 101 to ask for their advice.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 29-Jul-13 14:33:17

Well she's put another nail in the coffin.

And as thebody says, she must be having some kind of crap honeymoon to be obsessing about this.

I don't know about this, but at what point does it become harrassment?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 29-Jul-13 14:33:46

X posts re: harrassment

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 14:36:18

Agree with bogeyface.

They are absolutely out of order. You have little choice but to cut them off completely. How very dare they??!!

angelos02 Mon 29-Jul-13 14:36:43

She sounds horrific.

I'd at least enjoy the knowledge she is having a shit honeymoon! Nothing better to do than text!

YoniMitchell Mon 29-Jul-13 14:37:14

I followed your original thread OP and feel so bad for you that she's behaving like this. She was unfair in the first place, but to carry on like this is beyond the realms of pre-wedding panic and tantrums.

She (and her mum) needs to get a life and get over it. Tell her to stop harassing you and block her number/FB page etc.

You deserve better friends. Hope your DD is feeling better.

ladymariner Mon 29-Jul-13 14:38:52

She sounds absolutely deranged, did she have form for being like this before the wedding? How awful for you, no wonder you're upset.
I agree that you should keep all the messages etc and send her one tet telling her you are cutting all contact and she is not to get n touch again. Then get on happily with your life, safe in the knowledge that her dh is at this moment wondering if it's too late for an annulment!! Xx

cozietoesie Mon 29-Jul-13 14:39:13

Complete fruitcakes. I think I gave the marriage a year on reading the original thread. I now give it two months.

I would actually contact 101 for advice.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 14:39:44

Send bogey's message, and link her to this thread. Let her see exactly what people think of her behaviour over a fucking cake, that you weren't deemed good enough to make in the first place, but were expected to pull out all the stops for when it suited her...even though you were unable to.

Absolutely abysmal!

I am still picking my jaw up off the floor at her fucking audacity!!!

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 14:41:40

I have never suggested linking to a thread on here before btw, but I think she deserves it.

babybearsmummy Mon 29-Jul-13 14:41:51

Thanks everyone, yes dd is feeling a lot better. Can I just take a mo before I forget to say a HUGE thank you to the lovely MNers who offered to help out by making the cake, I did pass your offers on, but they fell on deaf ears I think as I didn't receive a response not that she deserved the help in the first place IMO

Getting down to some blocking now smile And thank you for the support x

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 14:42:19

To clarify - send the message with a link to this thread, then block the pair of them.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 29-Jul-13 14:42:31

You're kidding?!?! shock

She has no life; she should be on her honeymoon or otherwise enjoying being 'just married' but instead all she can do is harangue you. Feel sorry for her, OP, and DON'T feel bad for a second about yourself.

You'll be better off without her. Block her number/email address/unfriend her etc etc.

Pawprint Mon 29-Jul-13 14:42:50

She is behaving appallingly, as is her mother. She gave you practically no notice re. the cake. Your daughter was ill (hope she's better btw) and you had to decline the invitation.

Re. the cake - her problem. If push came to shove, she could have bought some plain iced cakes from M&S and decorated the with a ribbon, plastic wedding couple etc. No one gives a hoot about stupid wedding cakes anyway.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 14:44:00

I agree pawprint.

LemonBreeland Mon 29-Jul-13 14:44:18

I can't believe she is still blaming you for this. You did nothing wrong.

Agree with a message re. harassment and block away. What a pair of bitches.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Mon 29-Jul-13 14:44:28

Send Bogey's message before you block them, just to make them aware of the gravity of the situation and that you won't put up with it, reporting them if they continue.

babybearsmummy Mon 29-Jul-13 14:45:36

The worst thing is, I do feel that in some respects she does deserve a good rant because the lead up to her day was a bit stressful. But I do hope that when she has children, she realises that sometimes things can't just be dropped for a deadline. I'm just confused as to how her mum who has 3 kids, can't remember back to the days of when hers were 1 year old and how you can't be tied to people or make solid plans because things can and do go wrong

DidoTheDodo Mon 29-Jul-13 14:46:52

Babybearsmummy, you sound really nice and I am absolutely certain that the loss of your friendship is a FAR larger loss to her than to you.

I don't often want to go round and point and laugh on behalf of a MNer, but I do in this case.

MrsOakenshield Mon 29-Jul-13 14:50:26

good heavens! Isn't she meant to be shagging her new husband's brains out at this moment? Rather than giving you an earful?

What an utter loon.

Hope your DD gets better soon, sounds horrid.

Xiaoxiong Mon 29-Jul-13 14:50:34

In fact Pawprint if push came to shove she could have gone with her original wedding cake maker who offered to have one of their other cake makers make her cake!! It was just that one of their employees (of many) was off sick, wasn't it? And they offered her anyone else of theirs who could do it, and she went all bridezilla on them and refused?

I'm glad your DD is feeling better OP, so scary when they're small and ill and you feel so helpless.

SarahAndFuck Mon 29-Jul-13 14:51:12

Is she the one who asked you to make a cake, then dropped you because he fiancé's family always use the same cake company for their occasions, then was let down and expected you to magic one out of thin air with a week's notice?

Is that right? Apologies if I have the wrong thread in mind.

And now your child is ill, she's revoked your invite because you couldn't make the cake and now she and her mother are harassing you because you didn't go to the wedding she told you you were no longer welcome at?

Barking, the pair of them. Send Bogey's message and then delete and block. But keep copies and take screen shots first.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 14:53:43

Frankly, if that's how her mother sees fit to conduct herself, there is little mystery as to why her hideously entitled Bridezilla daughter is of the same ilk.

What a pair of losers!

EeTraceyluv Mon 29-Jul-13 14:56:49

Horrible to be targeted like this though sad I would do what all the wise people on here have said and threaten advise her that her actions constitute a potentially illegal act.

StuntGirl Mon 29-Jul-13 15:01:32

Astounded at the sheer audacity of some people.

Message her re: harassment, block them, and remind yourself you have a fab life and family whereas she and her family are clearly loons with nothing better to do.

DuelingFanjo Mon 29-Jul-13 15:01:58

I would actually be tempted to send one last letter/message explaining that though a request might be made for help it's rude and unfair to expect a person to automatically be able to provide that help. That you were unable to attend because of illness in the family and that even with that reason you were uninvited by text by the bride. That you passed on contacts which may have been able to help her but heard nothing back. That you now wish the harassment to stop.

then block them.

LeGavrOrf Mon 29-Jul-13 15:02:05

She is a disgrace, and so is her mother.

You sounded very gracious on the last thread, she sounded like a demanding hussy with her colour schemes, different flowers requirements.

It's a motherfucking cake

How horrible to get messages and text etc. I think just delete them unread and if this caper carries on I would call the police 101 line. Horrible for you.

PedantMarina Mon 29-Jul-13 15:06:23

I'd change the advice to this only:

Do NOT Delete and block. Do try to get messages shunted into a special folder that you don't have to look at. But you have evidence of harrassment, and you do not want to delete this, esp if you get more after you've told them to please stop.

All the best, OP.

SendMum Mon 29-Jul-13 15:09:34

I completely agree the OP has been treated appallingly but I wouldn't have thought a row over a wedding cake constitutes a call to the police as some have suggested?! Just ignore and it will die down, we can't all be threatening to ring the police every time we have a barney.

Or you coukd ask whether, as you'd not been able to attend, your traditional slic of cake is in the post.

No. That would be evil. But tbat is tradition when people cant attend is it not?

youarewinning Mon 29-Jul-13 15:10:49

OP is not threatening police after a barny.

She is being advised to go to the police over harassment.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 15:14:33

sendmum - do you imagine that harrassment only ever occurs over matters of grave importance?
Of course it doesn't. I should think quite a lot of harrassment occurs on the back of trivial shite that matters not a jot.

The OP is being harangued, and THAT is what is of note, not what the whole episode started over.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 15:18:35

Oh and it's not a row either, as that would require opposition.
There is no opposition...just a plain old attack, which while it might be over a sodding cake, is not a case of tit for tat, and is causing considerable upset for the recipient of said attack.

PedantMarina Mon 29-Jul-13 15:23:33

Does anybody have a link to the previous fred?

As to "police or not", main thing I was advocating is not getting rid of the evidence. It's up to OP to do things or not later on. But don't shoot yourself in the foot by deleting messages now.

rainbowfeet Mon 29-Jul-13 15:23:34

Your so called friend aka Bridezilla sounds like a horrible selfish person. I did read your original thread & she was asking way too much of you at such short notice. If the abuse continues tell them if they don't stop you will be reporting them to the police for malicious communication or harassment whatever they call the charge now.

SendMum Mon 29-Jul-13 15:25:49

Keep your hair on. I just think its not something that warrants involving police unless someone is really being threatened in some way and feels under threat. While I sympathise with the OP and the way she's been treated someone has to say it is not (yet) a police matter and we need to keep a bit of perspective!

Link her to this and your previous thread, with the accompanying text...
Read these. Then fuck off.

pictish Mon 29-Jul-13 15:29:33

Good idea terra.

That's what I'd do tbh.

Read these. May your next shit be a hedgehog.
Now fuck off.

WafflyVersatile Mon 29-Jul-13 15:31:02

Feeling a bit ranty in the stressful run up where things are going wrong is one thing.

Being petty and vengeful afterwards is quite another.

I'd send her one message using bullet points to summarise what happened then release the drawbridge.

PedantMarina Mon 29-Jul-13 15:33:08

pictish I think I love you - going to totally use that hedgehog line sometime soon.

SarahAndFuck Mon 29-Jul-13 15:33:21

It's harassment that has left the OP feeling tearful and unable to turn on her phone or computer.

It's not a couple of messages, she says they are building up.

And it's two people at least who are sending them.

If the OP can't access her phone or computer without feeling like this then I think the message above warning them that if they do not stop sending her abusive messages then she will call the police is a good idea.

babybearsmummy Mon 29-Jul-13 15:45:51

Yep, exactly that SarahAndFuck, maybe I could write a novel??!!

Snort at may your next shit be a hedgehog grin

They are unhinged. I'd store the messages and tell then if they contact you again you'll report for harassment as others have advised. There is no point wasting your time to explain any of your reasoning as they won't get it.

Groovee Mon 29-Jul-13 16:12:34

So she asked you to make a cake then told you, that she had someone else. When they let her down, she expects you to make it. You choose not to. Your dd becomes ill and you put her first. But because you wouldn't make the cake at short notice, she uninvites you and then hounds you for not coming.

She is a complete loon and you have nothing to be sorry for.

Good grief, just when you think the Bridezilla stories can't get any worse, they do. What a hideous woman!

I have nothing worthwhile to add OP, just wanted to sympathise - you can't do much about madness like your ex-friend, you just have to wait for her to blow herself out and move on to the next victim.

If this loopy woman is sending messages with her mother has she even gone on honeymoon or are she and her mother sat round their cauldrons at home winding each other up to higher and higher levels of stupidity and nastiness. If her DH has any sense he will either have gone on honeymoon alone or gone back to work.

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 29-Jul-13 16:19:33
Twirlyhot Mon 29-Jul-13 16:24:49

I like 'mad as a spoon.' And she is.

Floggingmolly Mon 29-Jul-13 16:28:06

She's on her honeymoon and still obsessed with making you feel like shit? shock. Poor cow, really. Imagine being that full of vitriol for no reason whatsoever; what a start to married life...
I'll give it six months
You can see why the company binned her off, can't you? Now you do the same.

Absy Mon 29-Jul-13 16:33:57

Having read the previous thread and now this, I can conclude that:







I want cake.

foslady Mon 29-Jul-13 16:36:50

I thought the initial behaviour by Bridezilla was bad, but this and MOBzilla's is gobsmacking, especially on top of your dd being ill.

Lord help her husband if this is what she does to someone she called her friend

A pity you didn't bake the cake after all...

and "liberate" a few dozen packets of laxatives in the mix. grin

ScrambledSmegs Mon 29-Jul-13 16:47:36

Well at least you know where Bridezilla gets it from <wry smile>

Do call 101 if this continues. Make sure you keep all correspondence, however much you want to continue.

Can't believe she's harassing you on her honeymoon. Although... did the wedding actually go ahead? Any chance her poor H2B scarpered?

I wouldn't blame him.

ScrambledSmegs Mon 29-Jul-13 16:48:17

Continue = delete.

Weirdest autocorrect ever.

ArtexMonkey Mon 29-Jul-13 16:50:55

"Yep, exactly that SarahAndFuck, maybe I could write a novel??!!"

Good idea op.

The worst thing is, I do feel that in some respects she does deserve a good rant because the lead up to her day was a bit stressful. Yes wedding are stressful, but that does not mean you can abuse another person.

If she had stopped throwing a strop every time she couldn't get her own way then it build up would have been less stressful.

If you think about it, she asked you to make her cake. But then choose to go else where. Then at the last minute had a tantrum because the person who was going to make her cake was ill and instead of allowing the cake makers to continue she demanded asked you.

You explained as it was very last minute and your family commitments you couldn't do it. But offered her an alternative which you would be able to do. Again she had a tantrum because she couldn't get her way.

Why does she deserve to rant at you for any of this. Had she kept you on as her cake maker none of this would have happened.

GhostsInSnow Mon 29-Jul-13 17:50:30

Look at it this way, you've found out that this woman is poison and an utter loon. It's win win for you.

I suspect had you made the cake it wouldn't have met her standards anyway.
flowers

Euphemia Mon 29-Jul-13 17:51:06

Unbelievable. shock

I agree no blocking/deleting: file, record, report!

I can't believe anyone could get so crazy over cake! shock
I'm sorry you're going through this and hope your DD gets better soon. flowers

Xales Mon 29-Jul-13 18:01:52

What a selfish cow.

You spent time and effort trying to source the stuff you needed but couldn't due to short notice. You gave her alternative people who would try.

She uninvited to you her wedding and has now gone off on one at you after the wedding.

She needs a life.

God knows what else she is going to fill it with apart from bitching at you.

Shame as she has lost a good mate who did all she could to try and help at the last moment even if she wasn't able.

ThreadWatcher Mon 29-Jul-13 18:02:02

Bridezilla alert

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 29-Jul-13 18:15:28

Yes, good point about keeping the mad messages as evidence ...

Keep all communication but cut off. I am starving and want some nice wedding cake now though! Hope your dd is feeling better now.

BMW6 Mon 29-Jul-13 19:54:44

Well, your "friend" has shown her true colours, and her Mother proves the adage that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!

What terrible, terrible people. You are well rid of such a person in your life. I agree with other posters to keep all emails etc and ring 101 for advice re harrassment if this diatribe continues.

Even at my advanced years, people never cease to amaze me shockangry

raisah Mon 29-Jul-13 20:27:07

Why do women become like this when they get married?! I got married and I didn't behave like an emotionally deranged, unsympathetic lunatic who thought the world resolved around her. Block your friend and I hope your dd gets better soon.

Whocansay Mon 29-Jul-13 20:30:45

She is an utter loon and you have nothing to apologise for!

I can only echo what's already been said. Keep copies of all of this deranged correspondence and block them where you can. If they persist, I would go to the police. They sound utterly demented.

Hope you're OK, OP.

you poor thing sad

i must agree with the texting about the police and harassment idea. they sound thoroughly unbalanced and incredibly selfish.

Good gracious. The bride has missed the point on so many counts.

Hope DD is feeling better now.

I don't think you should respond at all.

Another vote for calling the police on the non emergency number about this campaign of harrassment.

I do not believe the OP has done anything to apologise for, the "friend" is a lunatic.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Mon 29-Jul-13 21:25:29

Tell her to get to fuck. Silly cow.

2rebecca Mon 29-Jul-13 21:25:56

She and her mother sound nasty, and should have better things to do after a wedding than harrass you.
She definitely sounds like someone your life will be better off without.
Her new husband must feel he's married into a family of cake obsessed nutters.
Why do you get all the blame for the cake, what about all her other guests who also didn't bake her a cake at the last minute because they have other committments? Why are you getting the full blame for the cake thing? It makes no sense.

LittleBearPad Mon 29-Jul-13 21:34:38

She's a horror. Tell her and her charming mother to leave you alone or you will flag the harassment to the police. The threat to do so should be enough.

Glad your DD is on the mend, hope she's full of beans again soon. Maybe you could make her a cake to celebrate her recovery wink.

ChasedByBees Mon 29-Jul-13 21:40:55

I would be pleased that you didn't make the cake. I imagine she would have been just as disgraceful regardless, you were in a lose-lose situation as far as this friendship is concerned.

clam Mon 29-Jul-13 21:47:01

I think I'd send a very clear and brusque letter, along the lines of those offered by fabulously creative posters in the tidydancer thread (where her nutty former friend sent her a 'save-the-date' card, but never followed it up with an actual invitation, but did nonetheless ask her to decorate the venue for her preferred guests).

Remind her of the course of events in a calm and collected manner, so she can't accuse you of sour grapes.

farrowandbawl Mon 29-Jul-13 21:50:45

I would keep the texts and messages and report.

I understand how you are feeling about this. I've been through similiar (although it was her husband not her mother who she roped in) and it's shit. You need to report this and I do suggest, ignoring her as much as you can. Try not to read her texts but put them in a folder ready for it all to be printed off.

You've dont NOTHING wrong. She's been out of order since the day she gave you less than a weeks notice to make a stupid cake.

ProphetOfDoom Mon 29-Jul-13 22:02:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

affenberg Mon 29-Jul-13 22:02:30

I feel very sorry for your ex-friend really. She has behaved appallingly, but how sad must she be to be dwelling on the cake issue. She has just got married and instead of enjoying the moment all she can do is lash out at you.

Tragic really.

ProphetOfDoom Mon 29-Jul-13 22:04:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProphetOfDoom Mon 29-Jul-13 22:05:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlemisswise Mon 29-Jul-13 22:10:11

She sounds unhinged to me.

Keep the messages as evidence, but be grateful that as soon as this blows over you will never have to have anything to do with the silly bitch again.

Keep your chin up.smile

chipmonkey Mon 29-Jul-13 22:10:27

OP, your dd is one, yes? Well, really think of this as preparation. In another year your dd will be two and then the practice you will have had with Bridezilla's toddler-stylee tantrums will stand to you.
Have some wine and cake!

deleted203 Mon 29-Jul-13 22:11:22

Absolutely appalling! Bogeyface said it up thread -

"I do not wish to have any further contact with you. I consider the messages you have sent so far to be harassment, if I receive any further messages then I will be contacting the police." then delete and block.

Nobody has the right to send you a constant stream of abuse like this!

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Mon 29-Jul-13 22:13:49

Poor you. This is horrid.

I do hope your DD gets better.

Good advice up thread. Advice them that you are sorry they feel this way but their behaviour is upsetting you, this is harassment and they must stop.

Keep evidence.

Bullies are usually cowards.

runawaysimba Mon 29-Jul-13 22:31:27

I wonder if she's had a rant to new husband, who's stuck up for OP? Said something a normal person would say, like, well, it was very short notice, and that's what's sparked the honeymoon abuse?

SunshineBossaNova Mon 29-Jul-13 22:34:07

What an absolute cow. Hope you and your DD are well OP.

SisterMonicaJoan Mon 29-Jul-13 22:36:49

Oh OP, this latest update is just awful. You were so lovely to her even to consider making the cake at such short notice when you had so much on.

She's obviously looking for someone to blame and you drew the short straw.

Agree with other posters, she much be having one hell of a shit honeymoon if she's spouting such vitrol and holding onto so much hate.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Mon 29-Jul-13 22:56:15

Definitely use Bogeyface's message, otherwise who knows how long it'll take for them to stop? They are working each other up over this. but as others have said, set their messages to go into a folder rather than block so you have them for evidence.

EBearhug Tue 30-Jul-13 00:03:32

I wonder if she doesn't believe your dd was ill, and thinks you made it up as an excuse? That doesn't excuse her and her mother harassing you, but it at least explains the lack of sympathy about what you were having to deal with. You'll still have to deal with the harassment if they haven't run out of energy yet.

I can't imagine spending that much time on someone whom I felt had really let me down and shown no compassion (because that's how she says she's feeling, whether she's right to or not.) People can be most odd.

WafflyVersatile Tue 30-Jul-13 00:11:57

I expect she doesn't believe that bit. it's a bit convenient.

but she didn't have time, she tried to make helpful suggestions. she was under no obligation anyway. It's not like she pulled out of doing it.

I wonder if bridezilla is also sending abusive messages to other cake baker and anyone else who pissed her off about the wedding. That must be very tiring.

MammaTJ Tue 30-Jul-13 00:28:35

Thankyou for updating, if only to show what a bridezilla she is. And xontinues to be!! So glad you didn't do it!!

Hissy Tue 30-Jul-13 07:12:37

Wow! Just wow!

Absolutely whatt bogey said!

Don't put up with this shit! Don't soft shoe it, crack this nut with a wrecking ball.

Show those psychotic bullies that you won't have this.

In fact don't enter into any further dialogue, just send the message, plaster it on their FB pages and then go straight to the police.

I bloody hate bullies.

ZillionChocolate Tue 30-Jul-13 07:26:48

I agree you should send Bogeyface's message. Hang on to the messages you've had in case you need to go to the police. If you have a smartphone, maybe take screenshots and email them to yourself to back them up.

MrsKoala Tue 30-Jul-13 07:30:39

Holy Fuck. Is it the heat or are Bridezillas having some kind of competition, sponsored by confetti.co to act as thoroughly deranged and unpleasant as possible this year? Where are all these fuckwits coming from and where are they finding men so desperate to marry them?

OP i would keep every message and forward them to all your mutual friends in case the harassment gets worse. I am so cross on your behalf.

Thumbwitch Tue 30-Jul-13 08:09:27

Wow. Am just stunned at not only her behaviour, but also her mother's! I did wonder if your refusal (completely reasonable!) to do the cake would result in a hissy fit re you going to the wedding; and am sorry that my suspicion was fulfilled.

But this ongoing behaviour is outrageous! Who the ACTUAL fuck do they think they are??!!

The BZ - tanty, toys-out-of-the-pram response.
MOBZ - does she not talk to her own daughter, to know that you were uninvited in the rudest way imaginable?
And in the end, your family were sick and always come first. Did the pair of selfish, self-absorbed beatches expect you to walk out on an ill partner and baby, just for their benefit? Disgusting.

You're well rid of her; but I agree with sending the harassment message and then blocking. DO NOT Delete however, just in case - you need to have the previous messages on record for proof of harassment.

CruCru Tue 30-Jul-13 18:03:34

Oh good lord. Here's someone (your ex friend) who doesn't know what it is to bake a wedding cake. She does sound rather unpleasant. Did you send her the email?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface Tue 30-Jul-13 19:29:36

SOrry I should say that when I said "delete and block" I meant unfriend and block, I use the word delete to mean the same thing! YYY to keeping the messages as evidence.

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