...to be delighted that I have never witnessed my parents shagging?

(213 Posts)
Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 14:14:27

During one of those meandering conversations with a friend the other day, the topic of parents' public displays of affection came up. She was shocked when I said that all I could remember between them was the odd hand hold and peck on the cheek, and seemed to view witnessing her own mum and dad having sex, through a slightly opened door when she was around 11, as some kind of rite of passage. Like, I was bound to be a bit screwed up about sex because this hadn't happened to sheltered me confused Oh, the very idea of it though! And surely it's not THAT common to have seen parents DTD?

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 14:15:27

Don't know why on earth I said 'shagging' by the way, I never would usually.

TallyGrenshall Mon 29-Jul-13 14:16:49

I saw it once <shudder>

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 14:19:10

Poor you!

Absy Mon 29-Jul-13 14:19:20

I heard it once.

There are things you can't un-hear


I have never seen or heard a thing. smile

DidoTheDodo Mon 29-Jul-13 14:28:19

ARGH! I never heard, saw or imagined a thing.


SummerHoliDidi Mon 29-Jul-13 14:28:54

I never saw or heard a thing in my own house. I did hear my friend's parents shagging when at a sleepover once, when I was a teenager. I definitely wanted to un-hear that, but couldn't.

thebody Mon 29-Jul-13 14:29:09

ewwww, since my older ones are back from uni we have to be very very quiet!!!!

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 14:29:12

Thank you Sparkling! I was beginning to feel as though my siblings and I had been immaculately conceived.

mrsjay Mon 29-Jul-13 14:30:11

I used to hear it A LOT ,<shudder> tbh that is why im so uptight about the dds hearing things blush

DelayedActionMouseMaker Mon 29-Jul-13 14:30:28

I've heard it and once got up in the night for some water and stumbled on an oral scene I would like to brain bleach from my memory...luckily they were too engrossed to notice, because having to acknowledge it would have been mortifying to my 13year old self! but I think there was more risk as my parents separated and had other partners. (And therefore tended to be shagging like rabbits more than ordinary long-married couples)
For the record I have no hang ups about sex.

Amrapaali Mon 29-Jul-13 14:30:37

Oral sex. In the kitchen.

Is all I am saying...

mrsjay Mon 29-Jul-13 14:31:17

I remember meeting my mother in town to go to the dentist i was 14 and she had a love bite shock I mean seriously jeezus a lovebite

Amrapaali Mon 29-Jul-13 14:31:22

Ooh snap, MouseMaker

makingdoo Mon 29-Jul-13 14:31:36

I heard it on a regular basis - I was always a very light sleeper. I think it actually had a negative impact on my relationship with my mother.

>shudders at memory <

DaddyPigsMistress Mon 29-Jul-13 14:31:37

My parents has sex twice. Once to make my sister and again to nake me. There was no need for sex after that.

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 14:32:26

Oral sex in the kitchen. My goodness.

Amra. Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! blush shock

thebody Mon 29-Jul-13 14:33:49


Come to think of it I have never heard or seen anyone having sex. <sheltered life>

thebody Mon 29-Jul-13 14:34:25

bugger... ^^😄😄

Bogeyface Mon 29-Jul-13 14:34:49

When I was about 18 I went out of the evening and when I got back I stuck my head around their bedroom door to say I was back.

This was standard, Dsis and I both did it as mum would fall asleep stay awake reading in bed until we got back. Except that this particular time I opened the door and saw 2 face, lit up from the light of the hall, one above the other.

The worst thing? I said "Oh my God I am SOOOO sorry!" so they knew that I knew exactly what they were up to grin

I thought it was quite nice tbh, obviously not to see it but to know that after many years together they still enjoyed a physical relationship smile

MoominsYonisAreScary Mon 29-Jul-13 14:36:50

I heard them once, it doesn't seem to have done any permanent damage. My dad slept naked though and I did go into the bedroom a couple of times after having nightmares and saw more than I wanted too

LemonBreeland Mon 29-Jul-13 14:37:12

Surely if you did see it, you are more likely to he put off sex.

I used to hear mine at it, just typing that makes me shudder.

It's why I'm so wary of our own shagging if I think the ds's might still be awake.

With it being so hot lately the fans that have been whirring away have acted as a sound barrier, can't hear a bloody thing with those buggers on!

So let the DC see you having sex-to encourage them not to Lemon? grin

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 14:38:18

Me neither Sparkling. Not sure whether to be pleased or sorry, really.

Have heard it, was sat in the kitchen with DB eating toast (as was our tradition after getting home from the pub) and could hear mum and dad upstairs. DB hadn't heard them, so I pointed it out to him. Hell if I was going to be the only sibling traumatised grin

Though after mum died I was helping dad sort her wardrobe out and saw a bit of black lace, my mum had a very pastel/mumsy style, so I pointed it out in a kind of "ooh dark horse hey?" tone, so dad kindly pointed out it was crotchless knickers. Thanks dad..

I have never been offered drugs either. sad

Lottapianos Mon 29-Jul-13 14:39:22

Dear lord, you poor people! I have never seen or heard anything like that THANK THE HEAVENS <shudder>

My poor best mate once had to endure listening to her parents going for it in the next room while they were on holiday in a mobile home i.e. tissue paper-thin walls. She said she could even hear them kissing. She was 18 at the time. She went to bed before they did and her dad said to her 'hope you sleep really well tonight'. So they had planned some hot lovin' for later - ewwww! A part of her has never quite forgiven them smile

HintofBream Mon 29-Jul-13 14:40:03

We settled our 5 and 6 year old sons to watch a little circus on the French camp site where we were staying and snatched a few passionate moments in the tent while they were occupied. Unfortunately the 5 year old suddenly reappeared in search of some item or other. We fondly thought he had seen nothing.

Some time after our return hime, and having viewed some TV wild life programmes, we heard him announcing that "I've seen three things mating now, foxes, jelly fish and Mummy and Daddy. The foxes were the best, but Mummy and Daddy were better than the jellyfish".

Such a relief that we beat the jellyfish.

phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Jul-13 14:40:50

my parents had another baby when I was 17 - obviously they found him under a bush in the garden, they didn't actually DTD, right? I mean they were in their mid THIRTIES FFS

(am now mid 40s myself and laugh at my silly teenage self)

Hint you shagged in the circus tent wink.

Go you!

Thumbwitch Mon 29-Jul-13 14:42:12

OF course YANBU - who would WANT to witness their parents shagging? shock

I saw my brother having sex with his girlfriend once - or rather, I saw his bum going up and down - that was traumatic enough, thanks. My parents - noooooo. <<shudder>>

StuntGirl Mon 29-Jul-13 14:42:59

I used to hear my mum and step dad. I just turned my walkman up louder! I thought it was gross, as all 13 year olds would I imagine, but I'm not scarred from it or anything.

My friend walked in on his dad going down on his mum once. I like to remind him of this story often grin

MrsMongoose Mon 29-Jul-13 14:43:27

Heard quite regularly. Though they heard me too smile

Surprisingly nobody was ever bothered by this. Was all very normal in our house.

phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Jul-13 14:43:30

snorting at Hint!! grin

PeriodMath Mon 29-Jul-13 14:45:49

Oh god, I saw it once. An image that can never be erased. I was about 20 I think. Lights on, not under the duvet, butt naked - I will take it to the grave.

We NEVER mentioned it.

NoComet Mon 29-Jul-13 14:46:17

l used to heat my parents quite often. I found it reasuring that they still felt that way about each other.

I never found it in the least embarrassing. In fact as an older teen I used to tease DDad and ask if they'd had fun. He'd just grin and DM would try to look suitably embarrassed.

DDad is very matter of fact about such things. I can't remember ever not knowing the facts of life, because my toddler whys had been given a straight anseer.

FobblyWoof Mon 29-Jul-13 14:47:37

I saw them once. Couldn't sleep got up to have a drink and you could see in their room when you were at the top of the stairs. Thankfully you can't see fully into their room but still <shudders>

A few years later (I must have been about 17/18 when it happened so thankfully not young) and I mentioned it to my mum. I think she was teasing me/asking to keep the noise down when DTD with dp blush and I agreed though I asked her to close the bedroom door closed when she and dad DTD and mentioned my experience. Her response? "well, we always have the door open, it would be obvious what we were doing if we shut it." confused Oh yes, because knowing they were up to something was clearly worse than seeing it hmm She does have form for saying phenomenally stupid things though.

Pawprint Mon 29-Jul-13 14:49:10

Ha ha - love this thread. When I was about ten, I went into my parents' bedroom for a throat sweet as I was unwell. They were both naked on the bed and jumped for the covers very quickly! Ewww - I did remind my mum of this once (we have a fairly relaxed relationship) but she didn't remember.

The worst noisy shagger I have known was a flatmate who enjoyed very noisy sex with her boyfriend every sunday morning. In the end, one of us had to have a word with her because it was so loud. Lots of grunting and moaning. Ick.

valiumredhead Mon 29-Jul-13 14:49:18

Murder-I snorted so loudly reading your post that ds asked me what I was reading! Err nothing dear...grin

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 14:49:36

How could one not be embarrassed?? Or maybe I'm just very immature.

PipkinsPal Mon 29-Jul-13 14:50:01

I never saw just heard their bed squeaking faster and faster and then suddenly stop. My friend and I used to swop notes about hearing our parents "at it". My friend once found her Dad's mucky mags which we would look at whilst they went to Tesco on a Saturday morning shock. We were 13.

mignonette Mon 29-Jul-13 14:50:55

My sister once saw my Fathers semen floating in the toilet pan where he had failed to flush it away after a 1 on 1 session in the bathroom. She is in her twentieth year of therapy as I write wink

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 14:51:57

shock mignonette

NoComet Mon 29-Jul-13 14:54:27

Im also certain my parents have heard DH and me, although not as clearly due to the layout of the rooms.

Not much point in pretending as DM *knew DH and I had shared a bed from our very first date. (Actually we had no condoms and didnt have sex until our second).

*My DM is no fool and asked if my sleeping bag needed washing, knowing I wouldn't lie as it was pita to dry.

Thinking back she did this deliberately, she didn't was sleeping bags everytime. Quietly very devious, my DM.

BinarySolo Mon 29-Jul-13 14:55:16

I've walked in on my parents a couple of times an heard them. I'm not scarred by it but don't really wish to dwell on it either!

My dad also sleeps naked so I've often seen more of him than I wanted. He used to wear a dressing gown before bed and it was quite short. Can still remember my brother and I cringing as he knelt down to programme the video displaying his meat and 2 veg in the process. Urgh, I envy people with pajama wearing fathers.

valium grin That'd take some explaining..

I have never heard or seen anything, but an ExBf of mine had an horrific story that he told. His DM had an affair and moved the OM in and his dad came home to find he was no longer living there shock. He would hear DM and OM at it all the time, day and night as their bedroom was the converted lounge. One morning aged 12 he went into their room and as he left he stepped on a used condom that had been flung on the floor. Not enough brain bleach or actual bleach in the world for that one.

LemonBreeland Mon 29-Jul-13 15:01:14

I have not done that sparkling grin . It is an interesting idea!

mignonette Mon 29-Jul-13 15:01:56

You all wait until you hear your children....grin.. Now that's a rite of passage. DH and I sitting smiling awkwardly whilst grown up DD larged it downstairs in the converted cellar one night with BF...

I saw my grandparents <boaks a bit>

I reckon I must have been about 8 and had slept over. When I woke in the morning I went into their bedroom same as I would have if I'd been at home with my parents. What I saw was an image I've never been able to erase grin

Worst part was they saw me and I got shouted at for going in. I never told my parents and whenever I had to sleep over there again I always felt uncomfortable and never entered their bedroom without knocking again.

Never seen or heard my parents thankfully. Mum once told me she'd heard me and had to start up a loud conversation with my Dad so that he didn't hear blush

filee777 Mon 29-Jul-13 15:02:39

My parents used to have sex
Regularly with absolutely no consideration for the fact there were other people in the house, let alone their own children.

They used to wake me up 3 or 4 times a week and I would rarely get back to sleep until the early hours.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Mon 29-Jul-13 15:03:13

XP, as a little boy, woke up from a nightmare and went into his parents' room to find his dad in women's underwear. The image is now burnt onto my brain too!

Pascha Mon 29-Jul-13 15:05:45

I'm pretty sure my parents haven't had sex since November 1979. Certainly in my living memory there hasn't been so much as a peck on the cheek and holding hands was strictly for errant toddlers.

cocolepew Mon 29-Jul-13 15:09:43

Oh good no, I'd die shock when I was 15/16 if I ever heard my parents bed squeakingI used to put my fingers in my ears. They were probably only turning over but you can't be too careful.

I was visiting my ex SIL once and was looking through photos and saw a photo of my brother naked, close up on the cock obviously. I tried hiding it from my mum but she insisted on looking. I had to leave the room blush.

Another time was I was about 11 I opened the toilet door and my dad was in there. He didn't even notice me but I could have seen my dads willy.

thebody Mon 29-Jul-13 15:10:04

me and dsis were hatched I think.

MrsHoarder Mon 29-Jul-13 15:10:49

I've heard them several times, glimpsed through their open bedroom door once and worst of all was the time the three of us shared a hotel room and I woke up due to them making too much noise in the adjacent bed. I was 16 so definitely knew what they were up to.

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 15:12:04

If I ever see my dad's willy I will die

I also have no idea whether DF or DM slept with anyone else prior to each other.....

mignonette Mon 29-Jul-13 15:14:00

I'm surprised my siblings and I haven't developed into raging sexual perverts actually. Father used to come into our room stark naked and spank us if we were naughty or talked/played when we should have been sleeping. He'd get out of bed and slipper us, willy waving merrily with the exertion!

mignonette, I don't know what to say to that. Double punishment.

Wellwobbly Mon 29-Jul-13 15:14:45

Ho ho ho ho!

It was called by Freud 'the Primal Scene' and is classed as a trauma!!!!

This was a regular occurance in our house:

<small child wanders in> - 'what are you doing, Daddy?'

'I'm just giving Mummy a cuddle'.

[Do you think we got away with it?]

mignonette Mon 29-Jul-13 15:14:47

My parents definitely slept with other people during their marriage!

miffybun73 Mon 29-Jul-13 15:15:33

I never heard or saw a thing thank goodness.

mignonette Mon 29-Jul-13 15:15:58

We do laugh about it now Sparkling but none of us ever laid a finger on our own children in anger....

I can imagine mignonette. sad

valiumredhead Mon 29-Jul-13 15:19:01

Just realised we must be quite an 'open' family if there are posters worried about seeing their dad's willies!

There was naked wandering about and in and out the bathroom when Mum and Dad were in the bath.

Dumpylump Mon 29-Jul-13 15:21:21

I have never seen (thank feck), but have heard.....just as pp have described - bed squeaking rhythmically, gradually speeding up, then stopping. Wait few minutes, sound of en-suite loo flushing. I thought it was quite funny but have never mentioned it to either of them.
It was a very very long time ago grin

mignonette Mon 29-Jul-13 15:22:29

I'm pretty private around my children re my body and obviously my DH being a step parent needed to adopt boundaries maybe differing from that of their Father. Once they got to around five, I shut the bathroom door and didn't encourage them to watch me dress etc.

I'm open about what we talk about but just naturally private about other stuff.

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 15:24:48

I'm the sort of person who can do a full body cringe at the mention of sex, and during 'phone sex' with my boyfriend I have to routinely break off to scream with hopefully silent laughter into my pillow. THANKS MUM AND DAD YOU FRIGID WEIRDOS grin

Neitheronethingortheother Mon 29-Jul-13 15:25:11

lol some of these are so funny.

Much to my embarrassment sd caught me and dh shagging in the kitchen when she was about 12. It took a while for us to realise but everytime her dad asked her to do something she would tell him to "shag off" and make thrusting movements with her hips and start laughing. She is 19 now and still slags us.

Dh finally put a lock on our bedroom door yesterday as there have been to many close calls with the younger ones.

SummerHoliDidi Mon 29-Jul-13 15:25:29

My parents sleep naked, so there were many, many times that I saw more naked flesh than I wanted to. Even as an adult I have seen more of my naked parents than I would ever wish to, all in emergencies when I have been called in to help with medical things in the middle of the night, helping a naked dad get a naked mum back into bed is NOT something I ever thought I would need to do.

cocolepew Mon 29-Jul-13 15:25:40

MIL sat SIL down to tell her some facts. One of them was to have a shower immediately after sex. Everytime she heard the shower going at night she cringed.

DHs dad came in when DH and then girlfriend were doing the deed to tell them to keep the noise down! I'm not sure why he just couldn't have shouted hmm.

nokidshere Mon 29-Jul-13 15:28:02

We have sex most days, I sincerely hope that my teenage sons can't hear us!!! Neither have ever walked in on us though so that's one less thing to worry about!!!!

I never saw or heard anyone having sex when I was growing up, so it can be done lol

Weegiemum Mon 29-Jul-13 15:30:57

Not parents but my next-door-neighbour in uni halls of residence was a girl who was very much into, shall we say, physical punishment. Lots of <slap slap slap> <oh yes, harder, harder>.


phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Jul-13 15:33:04

what is wrong with people who bonk when their teenage kids are asleep in the same room. I just could not do that - just bleurgh!

I am paranoid, now that 2 of ours are old enough to know exactly what we are doing should they walk in on us, we have lots of pauses to listen and make sure we are not about to be disturbed.

sleepovers with nanny are great - no chance of anyone walking in on us no matter where we are - whoo-hoo!

Livvylongpants Mon 29-Jul-13 15:35:29

thank god I never heard a thing from my parents!!

However DM walked in on me and DH in the living room when we first got together... she thought it was hilarious, and went and woke my dad up... who also thought it was hilarious and phoned his mate (female) to tell her all about it... ooo the shame

ANormalOne Mon 29-Jul-13 15:35:50

I used to hear it a lot, I walked in on my DM giving a BJ to her ex-dp and I had a massive go at her once for DTD with her new fella when I was next door having contractions.

My DM has a better sex life than me and I wish I didn't know that. sad envy

petuniapickletits Mon 29-Jul-13 15:36:36


Ive walked in on my parents once as a kid. . <<shudder>>

I hope dd never hears or sees us.. im still traumatised lol

Chippednailvarnish Mon 29-Jul-13 15:45:36

Thread hijack - what age is it not okay to be naked in front of the kids?

ZipItShrimpy Mon 29-Jul-13 15:45:49

Thankfully I have never seen or heard my parents at it. I think I would die.

I remember going into my mum's wardrobe when i was a teenager once though and finding condoms which made me feel a bit sick!

My mum walked in on me giving my then boyfriend (now DH) a blowjob on the rug in front of the fire when i was about 18. CRINGE! blush

ZipItShrimpy Mon 29-Jul-13 15:47:21

Chipped My Ds is now 7 and I've not been naked in front of him for a while now as he is a bit too interested!

MysteriousHamster Mon 29-Jul-13 15:47:54

Used to hear it a lot. I hated hated hated it and used to sleep with headphones/walkman on.

I think that's why even now, 20 years later, I can't sleep without earplugs!

ComposHat Mon 29-Jul-13 15:51:41

I'm amaze d tbat people get so uptight about this. I've been aware that my parents have a sexual relationship as long as I've been aware of sex. I used to hear the odd moan andd grpan as a teenager. ..never bothered me. Are people really that fteaked out be the idea of their parents having a sex life?

presumably a lot of people on this thread have children and haven't forsworn sex until their children leave home.?

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 15:53:55

Scotsman/Edinburgh Evening News - Tuesday 26 October:

Part of an article:

Now, thanks to a new website which has been set up by a Scottish language teacher, those of us not privy to such break-time conversations can now log on and listen in to have a good old guffaw at genuine gaffes which have happened in our schools.

Classic clangers featured on allscottishteachers.co.uk include a pupil who was studying French and thought that "moi aussi" meant "I’m an Australian" as well as the first year pupil who wrote that Dracula had opened his coat and "reviled himself".

And top marks for the teacher who contained her mirth at primary two "news time" in one of the Capital’s schools when a boy announced that he had come downstairs for a drink of water late at night and reported that he saw "mum and dad sunbathing in front of the living room fire".

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 15:57:01

Sorry, only the last paragraph is relevant. But I couldn't not include the Dracula bit.

maja00 Mon 29-Jul-13 15:59:07

I've never seen my parents shagging, but have heard once I think, and still see them naked regularly!

DP and I are very affectionate around 3 year old DS, and he has definitely walked in on us but don't think he suspected anything hmm

Chopsypie Mon 29-Jul-13 16:07:40

I have a few memories of walking into their room unannounced as a small
Child and looking back as an adult they were shagging. But they are very open about nudity (I still chat to my mum if she's in the bath) and are very openly affectionate. It's quite common to go into the kitchen and catch them necking on like teenagers! They've been married for 30 years and its lovely to see they've still got it! As my dad was very find of telling a teenage me when I was embarrassed by them kissing etc - it's not just for you young uns you know!

DaleyBump Mon 29-Jul-13 16:08:32

Yup, caught my DM and DF in the act a few times. They've caught me and my DP too. We just laugh about it, we're all pretty open smile although, my grandparents aren't anywhere near as open as we are, and my wee grandad walked in on my DM giving her then boyfriend a blowjob. My mum thought it was her sister, who would just have ignored it and walked away so she kept going until my grandad plopped himself down on the couch and opened his newspaper. She was absolutely mortified! grin

HintofBream Mon 29-Jul-13 16:10:48

YouStayClassy, no the circus was tentless, it just involved something like a juggling dog and a few summersaulters , typical campsite entertainment. The real action was taking place within our own canvas bower. Sorry to disappoint. grin

Boosterseat Mon 29-Jul-13 16:13:02

I used to hear DM and DSD all the bloody time.

I used to bang on the wall and tell them to shut up

Inconsiderate twats.

Samu2 Mon 29-Jul-13 16:20:59

Mine didn't have sex after my little sister was born so I never heard them. I heard my mum with my step dad though once and felt very sick.

I know one of my teens has heard me once. Hope he isn't traumatised for life!

DfanjoUnchained Mon 29-Jul-13 16:21:00

I've seen my dads willy loads of times, is that not normal? confused

We used to bathe together when I was little and he and my stepmum would walk around in the morning naked getting ready for work etc. they stopped when I was around 6/7/8 I think.

I think I have a healthy attitude to the naked body now and don't feel embarrassed of being naked either infront of DP

Mine are 14 and 11 and I don't appear naked in front of them any more.

Seen mum and dad naked more times than I could count. You just get used to it. Do remember one of my friends came back to mine after the pub one night, only for dad to be wandering around the living room in his pants. He of course wasn't in the slightest bit bothered. My friend was so embarrassed, and I was just relieved he had the pants on for a change!

Could be worse, my cousins once had to listen to my nan explaining to them that the last time she'd had sex with our grandfather they'd struggled to find the right hole shock

"what age is it not okay to be naked in front of the kids?"

According to my dad, when the child is 29 it's still ok. hmm

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 16:33:57

I don't want to label anyones behaviour as 'not normal', all I know is that is not normal for me to see my Dad's willy! (Don't think I shall ever have cause to write that sentence again.)

Haha, there's not much normal about my family. grin

But it's always been like this, and it's never been a big deal (apart from if we have guests obviously).

grin at 'better than jellyfish'

Bogeyface Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:36

I really dont get the whole embarrassment thing. Whats embarrassing about happening to see your parents expressing their love for each other? OK so you would rather NOT see it, but FFS there are far worse things to walk in on. Having parents who still love and desire each other is a wonderful thing, and being embarrassed about it is incredibly childish.

cuteboots Mon 29-Jul-13 17:18:00

I heard my mum and dad once! Me and my brother were out playing and came back a bit to early if you get my drift! Ewwww so not a good thing to hear. Im not sure if its done any permanent damage but we laughed so much I can remember almost weeing myself .

KnitFastDieWarm Mon 29-Jul-13 17:18:47

My old flat mate was the king of inappropriate sexual walk-ins. I asked him once how he came out to his mum an he replied, 'well, her walking in on me giving my boyfriend a bj was a pretty clear indicator...'

He has walked in on and/or overheard me and dh more times than I can count - alarmingly, he is also going I be our best man in a few weeks time, so I'm wondering just what will come out in the speeches!

I was once interrupted while DTD alfresco in the Brecon Beacons by a troop of Boy Scouts - that was off putting

My dad has walked in on both me and my (adult) brother. He seems to have a knack for timing it. Similarly, my FIL seems to have always timed his nude dashes to the loo at night for when teenage dh was bringing home friends from the pub for a late one...

Still18atheart Mon 29-Jul-13 17:30:34


I've never seen my parents hold hands, and only once or twice a year they peck each other on the cheek.

My room is opposite end of the house with lounge kitchen, lots of steps in the way so never heard them dtd

Also I was conceived via IVF so...

Bogeyface Mon 29-Jul-13 17:32:08

My dad has walked in on both me and my (adult) brother

Totally misread that!

SUMMERFRUIT Mon 29-Jul-13 17:57:43

I heard my mum and dad a lot <cringe> even recently...their bed used to squeak a lot and then stop..then I could hear my dad going to the bathroom to have a quick wash <boak>....I also remember the time I couldn't sleep because I was too exited about a school trip the day after..saw my mum running naked in the corridor, I asked her what are you doing naked ??? Nothing, I'm just doing some special pictures with Dad. W.T.F...she could have told me that she was just hot ????

mrsjay Mon 29-Jul-13 18:01:04

Having parents who still love and desire each other is a wonderful thing, and being embarrassed about it is incredibly childish.

well i was a child when i first heard it it was really cringey to hear sex noises at 12/ 13 especially parents sex noises, and I was probably younger when i first heard it and had no clue what it was

DiseasesOfTheSheep Mon 29-Jul-13 18:02:14

Me too Bogeyface!

I don't believe my parents have DTD in years - they hate each other and have done since I was a kid. Never seen either naked, nor would I want to.

DM openly expresses disgust at the thought of sex (and even kissing - can't imagine she has much positive to say of a blow job!). No wonder I'm screwed up!

PipkinsPal Mon 29-Jul-13 18:04:51

I've never seen my parents kissing or holding hands but I remember my DM telling me when she and my DF were first married he would chase her around the bedroom. She said she used to pray she had a period so he would leave her alone. TMI Mother shock

mrsjay Mon 29-Jul-13 18:05:25

FWIW me and dh will hold hands kiss and cuddle in front of the dds and we are v old grin just I dont want anybody hearing us DTD

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Mon 29-Jul-13 18:07:06

I haven't, thank god seen mine - I'm sure my dad touched her a few weeks ago though hmm

My friend seen her parents and my other friends mum and dad had very sexy pics in their top drawers in their bedroom, we looked, another one had a vibrator, mine had nothing!!

My dad almost walked in on me though. Thankfully I heard him on the stairs and jumped up and had a long jumper on or something.

I also heard my elder brother and his girlfriend and pointed out the noise to my parents.

I dread to think of anything in this house, the walls are so thin.

valiumredhead Mon 29-Jul-13 18:09:04

Touched her?confused grin

farrowandbawl Mon 29-Jul-13 18:13:00

I've seen it.

Thanks for reminding me. confused

storynanny Mon 29-Jul-13 18:13:41

I remember reading once that the worst thing a child can here is mum saying " your father still has a few tricks up his sleeve in the bedroom department"
I'm 56 and thanks to this thread have just realised that might be why my parents had a lock on their bedroom door. Never made the connection before as I can't imagine my mother ever relaxing enough to have some fun of any sort!

storynanny Mon 29-Jul-13 18:13:59

Hear not here

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Mon 29-Jul-13 18:14:58

I didn't couldn't look tbh

She was reaching in the cupboard and Dad walked past and did something and she giggled like a teenager though.. she is 68!

We are not a very 'touchy feely family'. grin

TheCunnyFunt Mon 29-Jul-13 18:17:27

I never saw or heard a thing.

I have, however (on numerous occasions) heard MIL bollocking FIL for wanking in bed.

MIL has caught DP and I at it around 3-4 times, she appears to be incapable of knocking on a bedroom door and waiting, she knocks once and walks straight in. You'd think after the first time she'd learn but no. Sadly not.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Mon 29-Jul-13 18:20:52

Oh mine had a lock on their door too, I thought it was for Xmas time. confused

I'm fairly sure mine don't do it anymore tbh.

please just leave me to believe this

TheCunnyFunt Mon 29-Jul-13 18:21:00

Back story, I lived with DP and his family for 10 months, hence all the times MIL caught us.

valiumredhead Mon 29-Jul-13 18:21:07

Diary-grin did you bleach your eyes?grin

MrsKeithRichards Mon 29-Jul-13 18:21:59

Once. Awful moment never to be spoken about again.

KristinaM Mon 29-Jul-13 18:23:07

This is why we have a lock on our bedroom door.i don't want to have to pay for therapy for my kids . They even make " yuck" noises when we kiss.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Mon 29-Jul-13 18:24:45

I'm surprised no-ones mentioned my that thread about being caught in the 'garden office' by DD. I they were mortified but after reading advice from the wise people of MN realised that there are worse things to see (only just)

It's like that modern family episode - hearing the lock slide could make it worse......

valiumredhead Mon 29-Jul-13 18:28:20

I remember that threadgrin

dirtyface Mon 29-Jul-13 18:30:19


i never heard or saw my parents at it


but once was sleeping over my best friends when i was about 16 and heard her dad shagging his GF. sounded like a pair of warthogs. disgusting

valiumredhead Mon 29-Jul-13 18:31:51


Soontobemama Mon 29-Jul-13 18:41:40

I used to hear my mum and stepdad ALL the time as she was a screamer.

They used to send me to my room to play so that they could watch the snooker together. It always ended with them shagging loudly. I can't believe they didn't have a bit more consideration for the fact that we lived in a tiny terraced house and of course I could hear everything. I once got bored waiting for them to finish and opened our front door. I will never forget the face of the woman who walked past and heard it all.

possum18 Mon 29-Jul-13 18:44:48

I'm pleased to say this has never happened to me!!

EdvardMonsterMunch Mon 29-Jul-13 19:17:48

DH and I once came across my DP's DTD on a beach abroad.....there is not enough brain bleach in the world to remove that image.

DS1 caught us in the act last year, was with his girlfriend....twas like history repeating itself !!! (vomit)

MIL caught us in the act many years ago and closed the door but continued to speak to DH!! (no shame)

Beeyump Mon 29-Jul-13 19:31:39

Continued talk to your DH? Hahaa oh dear!
Oh,and yes,I probably am 'incredibly childish'.

ComposHat Mon 29-Jul-13 19:32:27

They used to send me to my room to play so that they could watch the snooker together

Bent over the table for a hard pink in the bottom pocket?

MrsKeithRichards Mon 29-Jul-13 19:49:05


I never caught my parents at it as my bedroom was down the hall, but my dad in particular used to sleep naked.

Have been caught by DSS once, he was only about 4 though. DH told him we were playing hide and seek - so DSS pipes up 'can I play?!'

We are fairly open and it wouldn't bother me now, but I think most people as teens would be mortified to think that their parents still 'did it'. My DH not included as he used to tell them in the morning! shock fucking weirdo

I've never heard/seen my parents but did find their sex manual when I was about 12.
Heard mil and sfil frequently and loudly when was first with dh and he still lived at home, made dh move his bed in the end as we were wall to wall blush
When dh was 15 he took his mom a morning cup of tea and discovered her in bed with a one night stand who was only 4 years older than him sad

SuperiorCat Mon 29-Jul-13 20:12:52

shock Inthebeginning

My poor cousin went to school with his now step-Mum

sazzle82 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:18:35

I caught my DPs at it one Sunday morning when I was about 7. I had decided to make them breakfast in bed an just quietly left the tray on the side in their room and snuck back out. They didn't see me, but obviously knew I'd walked in when they saw their breakfast afterwards.

I have had to listen to my Dsis when we were teenagers. Also once heard my friend's parents when stating at their house after a party.

In hindsight, considering some people have never walked in/heard anything, I feel I have had to endure more than my fair share

RoxyFox211 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:20:56

You're lucky! I never physically saw sex, but heard it. Also, emptying the bins was always one of my chores and one time when i was about 11 i was emptying their bedroom bin into the main bin bag and had to peel a used condom off that was stuck to the bottom. confused. I was too embarrassed to leave it or mention it.

I didn't have parents who liked each other enough to shag. I'm pretty sure that fucked me up more than hearing them at it would have done.

I saw my mum with one of her numerous boyfriends when I was around 4 - they'd left me to play in the living room and I got bored.

My friends have all heard my mum at it with someone or other when we were teens, she used to pick up younger men - half of whom I knew from school blushangrysad

Ds when he first got sturdy on his feet once came into our room and jamp on dfiance's back - piley on mummy that's called in the bedroom now grin

Sparklymommy Mon 29-Jul-13 21:31:31

Why is this avproblem? Pretty sure I must have heard or seen something in the past but can't say it's stuck in my mind.

My mother walked in on me and my ex once. She was mortified as we weren't together at the time. And I know DSD has heard me and hubby at it as he makes comments!

dubdurbs Mon 29-Jul-13 23:29:52

Never walked in on them, thank God, but I'm well used to hearing my parents shagging. Mum would be vocal enough(cringe) so lots of 'oh fuck, oh God, oh God, Jesus, fuck, oh God, oh, oh, oh!!' quite loud too, so I've learned over the years to tune it out or pull the duvet over my head. The last time I heard her moaning like that was a few years ago, early in the morning, so I duly pulled the duvet up and waited it out, only to realise an hour later that she was still going and Dad had said he was leaving early to go to a meeting. Turns out she fell out of bed and landed on top of a box she had at the side of the bed and broken a rib! :D

LegoRelatedInjury Tue 30-Jul-13 07:47:20

dubdurbs I know I shouldn't laugh but that made me grin!

Hope your mum was ok.

Absy Tue 30-Jul-13 11:28:37

There was one MNer who's DM and DSF are NOT to be disturbed for three hours on a Sunday afternoon or something, purely for shagging purposes (and the poor MNer asked "why three hours?" and the DM responded that it takes a while for her to get going).

I had friends at uni who's upstairs neighbour was quite "vocal" (so much so she woke them up repeatedly), so I suggested going around one time, knocking on the door loudly and ask whether or not she was being attacked.

ThePowerof3 Tue 30-Jul-13 11:33:15

Heard my DM and stepdad at he time all the bloody time

SirBoobAlot Tue 30-Jul-13 12:01:04

I overheard my GRANDDAD have sex with his girlfriend on our sofa when I was young.


freddiefrog Tue 30-Jul-13 12:05:06

I've never seen them, but I did come in one night when I was about 18 and hear the bed springs creaking like mad. I had to slam the front door to announce my arrival. All went quiet after that.

No one has ever caught me at it

superman Hamp? You're Glaswegian aren't you.

We've been caught several times. The time that sticks in my memory was when dd2 then aged 7 walked in and asked what we were doing. Dp told her we were using the bed as a trampoline to which she retorted "Most people jump on their feet, not like this" and proceded to do the "actions". Later that day on a crowded bus she said "You better stop using the bed as a trampoline or you might get a baby in your tummy".

Another time I turned to see ds then aged 10 pull a vibrating cock ring out of his pocket. I quickly snatched it from him saying "Where did you get that?" he asked what it was and quick thinking I used it to tie my hair in a ponytail and told him it was a vibrating hairband used for relieving migraines.

Jamp not hamp.

Beeyump Tue 30-Jul-13 15:44:19

Well, my eyes have been opened shock

Also, I would rather like a vibrating hairband which relieved migraines. Patent!

MinnieBar Tue 30-Jul-13 18:11:50

Never actually witnessed anything, but I distinctly remember the look on my mum's face when I told my parents that I could hear my dad snoring grin

My parents have always had an 'open door' policy WRT bedrooms so it's surprising really that I never did see anything, but this did mean walking in on my mum having a poo once, which was an experience I think both of us could have done without (I was 13ish I think).

ExH's parents were into photography, and we did once find a contact sheet of photos which looked very much like pics of ex-MIL trying to fit one of her breasts into a glass confused hmm

LegoRelatedInjury Tue 30-Jul-13 18:18:45

MinnieBar That sounds like an interesting photo shoot!

ComtesseDeFrouFrou Tue 30-Jul-13 18:19:33

I've never seen my parents having sex but I did overhear them guffawing with neighbours about my dad having he snip at a BBQ once.

On the other hand, the nail in the coffin that was my belief in Father Christmas came when I woke up one Christmas Eve to see "Father Christmas" standing by my bedroom door wearing just a t shirt, clutching his manhood and swearing as he tried to put the presents into my stocking...

MrsKoala Tue 30-Jul-13 18:37:58

I never saw or heard my parents shagging as such. But once when i was about 14 i was meant to be going to a party and the people i was going with stood me up so i returned home. I opened the front door and heard much exclaiming of 'turn it off, turn it off' and mum came rushing out of the front room. Saying angrily, 'what are you doing home' I said the party was a no show and she said 'well go somewhere else' i said i couldn't, i didn't have anywhere to go at 9pm on a sat night confused . Dad was shouting from the front room about what a fucking pain i was and how i ruin everything etc. In the years to come after that i found a lot of dads porn just laying around and mum told me on more than one occasion that dad 'insisted' they watch porn together, it wasn't her cup of tea but he made her life hell if she didn't.

Now when i go to visit i take my own laptop as i am sick of being confronted with 'young asian shaves fanny' titles when i open theirs.

Fucking grim.

They also used to make me 'take the towels down to the pool and sit on the sunbeds to reserve them' when we went on holiday (from the ages of about 6) so they could shag. This entailed a 20 min walk from our villa and crossing 2 major roads in Spain and sitting completely alone for hours. nice.

DaleyBump Tue 30-Jul-13 18:41:01

Clutching his manhood?! shock

DaleyBump Tue 30-Jul-13 18:42:22

That's awful MrsKoala sad

valiumredhead Tue 30-Jul-13 19:03:32

Oh God that is really really grim, you poor thingsad

MrsKoala Tue 30-Jul-13 19:20:29

Yes, since dad has retired and he bullied mum into getting a laptop from work (which her work still own and have remote access to) he seems to have reverted to a teenage boy and spends his day watching porn and making mix tapes confused .

All his mates also seem to be obsessed with this too. Not sure if it's because they had no access when younger, but they are greedy kids in a sweet shop. Pathetic really

MrsKoala Tue 30-Jul-13 19:32:16

i do have a friend who found their parents 'home movie' just laying about in the family video collection! shock

Bogeyface Tue 30-Jul-13 19:45:32

MrsKoala what will you dads reaction be if your mum loses her job because of his disgusting "hobby"?

I am more shocked at your dad being so vile to you because you spoilt his bullying of your mum than anything else. I feel very sorry for her sad

MrsKoala Tue 30-Jul-13 19:57:32

She wont lose her job as she is a director, but if the IT guys can see it, i doubt she isn't being laughed at a bit.

My dad IS a bully. He thinks he's lovely tho hmm and everyone just eventually comes round to his way. He would be horrified to be described as a bully. In fact he would probably scream at me, shout, make lots of threats until i admitted he wasn't grin

dirtyface Tue 30-Jul-13 21:31:00

thats awful mrskoala sad

all of it.

MrsKeithRichards Tue 30-Jul-13 21:39:27

A family friend added me on Facebook, ages with my dad. He obviously read and viewed a lot of odd poo porn as every so often 'raymond likes hairy armpit wank' would appear on my feed.

He was obviously watching these things and pressing the like Burton without realising that it was linked to his Facebook.

MrsKoala Tue 30-Jul-13 21:42:00

Oh sorry everyone - i didn't mean it to bring the thread down. it didn't seem so bad in my head blush

Anyway back to the OP - most people i know have at least heard some nocturnal gruntings, so i think it's quite normal. smile

RaspberrySnowCone Tue 30-Jul-13 21:46:01

I walked in on my parents once, it was comical, I was about 10, had thrown up so walked in clutching my tummy doing my best 'I'm so sick' voice. Mum was on top but I made my dad jump so much he threw mum off the bed :D

bongobaby Tue 30-Jul-13 21:52:16

Wish I never saw my parents and their women friend having a Threesome in the daytime when I was 8 years old, scarred for life.. Gross....

apostropheuse Tue 30-Jul-13 21:53:23

Oh no I've never seen or heard anything whatsoever. I never even saw them hold hands or kiss never mind anything else!

LegoRelatedInjury Tue 30-Jul-13 22:16:16

I think you win Bongo! Wowsers. That really would scar you for life. shock

bongobaby Tue 30-Jul-13 22:23:53

I must sound unhinged but its all coming back to me now, That was my mum and step dad up to that with friend. My father put me in my sisters cot whilst him and his girlfriend carried on shagging in the same room as us... OP be very very glad of what you have never seen..

FreudiansSlipper Tue 30-Jul-13 22:24:27

heard my mother and her boyfriend not nice

heard my friends parents this was after they had an argument (they were always arguing) and could hear him saying this is what you want isn't it she was moaning yeeeesssss

my poor friend found a home made video of her mum and dad i wish she had never told me i can not look at them the same way

Bogeyface Tue 30-Jul-13 22:31:03

Fucking hell Bongo, that is awful.

A threesome in the daytime with a little girl in the house and then you being in the same room, with your baby sister, while your dad was shagging?

SS would be involved now if a little child had to deal with that. I know this thread was light hearted but that is awful for you sad

MrsKeithRichards Tue 30-Jul-13 22:36:12

Does anyone remember that thread where a woman admitted carrying on shagging her partner when her dd wandered into the room and watched tv. In the living room, with a cover over them on the sofa spooning.

dancingwithmyselfandthecat Tue 30-Jul-13 22:40:23

Mrskeith, I remember that. I thought it was horrible.

Bogeyface Tue 30-Jul-13 22:41:59

How can anyone still feel horny with a child in the room?! I pause but can carry on through a nocturnal loo trip, but with a child in the room, not a chance! I couldnt do it when the babies where snorting in their sleep never mind with a wide awake 8 year old in the room!

MrsKeithRichards Tue 30-Jul-13 22:42:30

I don't know how genuine it was as it was on netmums too. Yuk.

dancingwithmyselfandthecat Tue 30-Jul-13 22:43:18

On a lighter note, I remember a friend being deeply traumatised by her mother announcing at the breakfast table that her father was doing a generous and couragous thing in getting a vasectomy so that they could continue to express their love with no fear of further children!

I walked in on my parents one morning immediately after. I was eight and used to watch tv in their bed on Saturday mornings. My mum pulled all the sheets off very quickly and said that daddy had just had an "accident"....

ByTheSea Tue 30-Jul-13 22:44:52

I walked in on my dad and himself when I was 14 or 15. I apologised quickly and backed right out the door. He later told me he was sorry I saw that and i told him it wasn't a problem.

An old boyfriend and I when we were late teens were discovered by his father, who completely freaked out and shouted the house down. I cringe thinking about it.

I think oldest DS mighg have heard us when he was about 11. Ugh.

Bogeyface Tue 30-Jul-13 22:46:08

I remember a friend being deeply traumatised by her mother announcing at the breakfast table that her father was doing a generous and couragous thing in getting a vasectomy so that they could continue to express their love with no fear of further children!

Nice way to make your kids feel good about themselves grin

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 30-Jul-13 22:46:55

I haven't because my mother has been single since leaving my dad when I was 6 and hasn't had sex (in the house) since that date - she told me later that they barely had sex after my DSis was conceived (when I was 2) so they probably actually didn't even if I wasn't aware.

I'm really paranoid about DS hearing us when he is older as I am quite loud apparently blush Not bothered about when he is little and wouldn't know what was going on, although haven't done it in the same room since he went into his own room as a baby.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Tue 30-Jul-13 22:50:46

I never have (but then I slept right at the other end of the house).

I did however wake up during my freshers week when my room-mate brought a boy back. What makes it worse is we slept in a bunk bed (it was emergency extra accommodation) so not only could I hear her, but I was woken up by the bed shaking. I never said anything, but asked to be put on the waiting list for a single room the next day!

AudrinaAdare Tue 30-Jul-13 22:51:58

These are terrible!

My parents were E.A / toxic and all kinds of wrong but the most I ever heard was my Mum coyly asking my Dad if he would be her "valentine" and him complaining that her feet were cold.

Beeyump Tue 30-Jul-13 22:55:28

I don't know what would be more of a mood killer really - having parents or children within earshot of you having sex. The thought of the days when large families slept in one room makes my mind hurt.

itsonlyapapermoon Wed 31-Jul-13 01:17:11

Our dd6 is what we call a creeper-she's so quiet and just creeps up behind you and scares the shit out of you! When she was 3 or 4 DH and I were dtd when all of a sudden DH lets out a weird shriek. I thought he'd got a cramp in his leg or something but I turned around to see DD just standing next to the bed staring at us with wide open eyes. I thought she was just sleepwalking and put her back to bed, but the next morning she asked, "Daddy, why were you standing on Mummy?" LOL! We still use that phrase sometimes:P I don't think she was particularly traumatised :P

Goooooooooooooooooooooood Wed 31-Jul-13 01:33:20

Never heard or saw my parents but did hear my Dad with various other women a few times. shock It didnt bother me but I do like to tease him that due to his prattish, selfish, jack the lad ways he has noone to keep him, err, company now that he is older.

My Mum, understandably, refuses to share a room with him.

Never stumbled upon my parents DTD, but I do remember overhearing the following, shrieked from older brother's room by his libidinous girlfriend:

Ow! ow, ow, Ow, OW! OWWW!!! Pull out! Pull out!

I have never asked precisely what they were doing.

mother of nations you're close - angus grin I forget it's not a 'real' word to most people!

Tee2072 Wed 31-Jul-13 06:45:15

Not me, but my brother heard my mom and step dad.

First I knew was when I came home from school to find my mom in the spare room and my step dad in their bedroom (shared wall) with her going 'can you hear me now'? They were trying to decide whether to soundproof.

How about you just abstain when someone is sleeping in that room?!?!

nooka Wed 31-Jul-13 07:17:40

I never heard my parents having sex, but my mother did announce about ten years ago that they were now 'chaste'. given that she'd previously told me that she didn't enjoy sex (lie back and think of England style) but masturbated every night before going to sleep I felt rather sorry for my poor father. I think it probably would have helped me grow up with a healthier attitude toward sex if they had been more positive role models and shown at least a little bit of physical attraction between them.

Our children have walked in a few times, and we've had to make up some silly stories but we are much more careful now they are teenagers - in fact dh is reluctant to have sex with them in the house now.

TheRealFellatio Wed 31-Jul-13 07:20:23

I saw it once. The trouble was, my dad was married to someone else at the time and had a small child with her. That messed with my head, let me tell you.

Oh and I told my stepmother, which went down swimmingly as you can imagine. I was nine.

makemineabacardi Wed 31-Jul-13 07:35:37

I saw my parents doing doggy in the garage once. I 'forgot' about it for years. I caught them at it a few times (saturday afternoon in the bathroom!) but that was the worst.

They also had a massive poster of my Dad naked on a beach that was stored in my bedroom wardrobe once. Never forget the day I found it.

My parents were narcs though.

MrsHoarder Wed 31-Jul-13 07:57:03

I thought "mother of nations you're close -Angus" was something that had been overheard grin

Haha!! mrs hoarder grin

cocolepew Wed 31-Jul-13 08:39:53

DHs ex gf lived in a two bedroom house with her parents and brother. The parents didn't allow the brother and sister to sleep in the same froom so she slept in the parents room, even in her twenties. Her parents just carried on with having a normal sex life while she lay on the single bed next to them hmm.

Beeyump Wed 31-Jul-13 09:06:55

cocolepew That sounds insane.

Might try 'Mother of nations you're close Angus!!' the next time I'm getting into it...

superman I'm forever shouting at the dd's "It's jumped not jamp".

Hippymama Wed 31-Jul-13 09:18:30

Some if these are shocking (and sad) sad

I don't remember walking in on my parents, but did hear squeaky bedsprings a few times.

Worst time was staying at a friend's house when I was about 12. I hadn't really stayed away from home overnight before. As girls do, we stayed awake quite late giggling and chatting until suddenly we heard a strange shrieking sound. My friend's house backed onto a field and I said "what's that? Do you think it's foxes?", but my friend told me no, it was her parents! It was such a strange sound that I really didn't think it was a person! Apparently they did it all the time, especially when friends came to stay! Next morning I couldn't look her mam in the eye at breakfast time, especially as she was the local lollipop lady! Subsequent conversations with other friends revealed I was not the only person to have heard the nocturnal going on at my friend's house sad

Another friend returned home from sixth form unexpectedly early to find her parents going for it on the living room floor surrounded by sex toys. I think she was pretty scarred by that image! Lol

LegoRelatedInjury Wed 31-Jul-13 09:24:52

I also want to adopt 'Mother of Nations, you're close Angus!' As my orgasm cry.

That'll put the shitters right up DH!

Slightly disconcerting that you'll be shouting my name at the crucial moment.

Beeyump Wed 31-Jul-13 12:04:34


CatsAndTheirPizza Wed 31-Jul-13 12:12:44

I've never walked in on my parents, though this thread has reminded me that they did lock their bedroom door to 'watch television'. I like to think they were watching television and that the loo trips afterwards were because they had a pot of tea in there too.

It's also, unfortunately, reminded me of the day we went to DH's parents and I saw a prescription for vaginal dryness cream (or some such - I have brain bleached the details now) on the notice board when I was admiring postcards shock. Them still being active is a visual image I could do without to be honest. I'm not entirely sure how they would, due to the shape of my MIL. I tried to discuss it with DH but had to stop when he got to the dry retching stage!

valiumredhead Wed 31-Jul-13 12:26:59

Just to make you feel better you can be quite un comfy with vaginal dryness without needing it for sexwink

CatsAndTheirPizza Wed 31-Jul-13 12:41:59

Oh thank you so much valiumredhead - I shall be forever in your debt grin

OrangeLily Wed 31-Jul-13 13:13:35

I haven't seen my parents but I have heard both sets and I've also heard DH's Grandparents when we were staying. They suggested we all have a lie-in which I thought might mean about 9am. They didn't surface until 11am smile. Good for them though! DH was only my DB of about 18 months at that point and was a bit mortified.

LegoRelatedInjury Wed 31-Jul-13 13:45:43

Take it as a compliment Mother. You'll not heard it shouted often anyway! wink

Knowing about it is one thing but hearing it would be quite another.

littlepinkpear Thu 01-Aug-13 19:12:25

Once came home late to a lot of screaming and wailing from upstairs. Slammed the front door, nothing stopped.

Slammed it again, still at it. Slammed it again, still at it.

Went and made a cuppa, heard them both finish and got up and slammed the door again.

Lives with me to do this day, but my mother was having such a great time....

anniferer Fri 02-Aug-13 09:34:58

I heard my mother "at it" loads of times with her numerous boyfriends. I think it was more traumatising when I was younger and being bullied because my parents were divorced.
DD walked in on DH and I having a quickie one evening when she was about 3. We were both still mostly clothed (thank goodness for long skirts). She thought we were playing wrestling and asked "Is mummy the champion now?" .

picklepen Fri 02-Aug-13 09:36:07

I'm in the innocent category, though thinking about it... Never heard my DPs DTD but DID occasionally hear my my DM telling my DF angrily loudly to get off/oh, not now/not again!

I did find a condom in the washing machine once- had been caught up with the clothes from my DPs floor. DF waaay more embarrassed than I was!

And my DF was an amateur photographer... I thought some of the photos of DM were risqué but apparently he had more. None of us ever saw them- DM just informed us that DF had got rid of that album before he died. Thanks, Mum.

I'm with the posters that say seeing/hearing your parents are still at it is reassuring that they still like each other. Also hope to still be at it when I'm old too.

I couldn't stop laughing when I unwittingly walked in on my parents doing 69. I was 23 at the time. My mum was pretty n

Whoops! My mum was pretty non chalant about it. Fairy enough!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now