to expect my sister to put herself out for ONE night?

(415 Posts)
HDEE Sun 28-Jul-13 19:09:36

Typing on phone so excuse any errors

I am so angry with my sister. I am currently in a hospital 1.5 hours from home. I have been here for three weeks now as my waters broke early at 21/22 weeks and this was the nearest hospital with a suitable NICU cot.

Baby was born on Friday. He is incredibly sick. His first two nights I was called to NICU in the night as they didn't expect him to survive. Last night he suffered major bleeds to both sides of his brain. We have been told he is critical and any worsening of the bleed (very likely) will mean discussing withdrawing intensive care.

I asked my sister if she could please stay overnight at my house (she has been there through the day looking after my three year old twins and six year old) but decided shed rather go home.

This means that should I need to get my husband here, the plan now is that I phone him, he gets our children out of bed and ready to go, loads them into the car, regardless of time, then drives the 50 minutes to her house, unloads them where they have nowhere to sleep, then drives the hour journey to me.

This is fucking ridiculous. Apparently she was saying 'but I have no clean clothes to wear'. Well boo fucking hoo. I'm waiting for my two day old baby to take a turn for the worse and die at any time, and she doesn't want to be a little uncomfortable?

I am never, ever speaking to her again. Especially if my husband can't get here and I have to do all this alone.

FTR she doesn't drive. My dad lives 5 minutes from her so this morning when I needed my husband here it took him 2.5 hours from my phone call to arrival by the time they got to him, and he got here.

I suspect a large part of it is that her partner is making a fuss being left with their three children. But he doesn't work, and I need her help more sad

HarderToKidnap Sun 28-Jul-13 19:12:02

Yep, the chips are down and she needs to be there for you. Tell her straight. If she still wants to go home then she can, but at least you know you've said it. I'm so sorry, btw.

Coconutty Sun 28-Jul-13 19:13:17

Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry that you are going through this, of course she should stay or take your other DCs to hers fir the night. Is there anyone else you can get to stay with your DCs so your DH can come to the hospital to be with you?

You need better help, but it sounds like she's been looking after your children for 3 weeks? At some point people want to stop helping.

I'm so sorry about your baby sad

Fakebook Sun 28-Jul-13 19:13:38

Yanbu. sad. I'm sorry you're going through this.

so sorry you are going through this. is there anyone else who could sit with your dc's or could your dh and dc's stay closer to the hospital.

Thurlow Sun 28-Jul-13 19:14:48

I'm so sorry. Your sister is being unbelievable. Do you think she understands how time critical things are? Is there anyone else who can stay in the house, a neighbour or someone?

BabyILoveYou Sun 28-Jul-13 19:15:06

YANBU, she has let you down so badly. Can she arrange for a taxi to pick up her clothes and drop them off?

Thinking of you and your wee one x

MrsMoffat Sun 28-Jul-13 19:15:48

HDEE. Firstly congratulations on the birth of your son. I'm so sorry he's so poorly, sending you strength and flowers
When I had ds2 he was very sick too. My mother wouldn't put herself out at all to care for ds1 or for me who was also very sick. I know how much it hurts. I really feel for you.

Hegsy Sun 28-Jul-13 19:16:47

Yanbu I'm so sorry you're going through this hugs xxx

HDEE Sun 28-Jul-13 19:16:49

She hasn't had them for three weeks. She has had them one morning a week at her house so my husband could visit me. She had them Friday when I gave birth, and today at my house, with my dad's help.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 28-Jul-13 19:17:00

How awful for you. I'm so sorry.

Would it be possible for your dad to step in? Or a neighbour? I don't know all of my neighbours that well but would do anything I could to help them in a heartbeat in a similar situation

thebody Sun 28-Jul-13 19:17:36

so very very sorry op. could your parents help out by staying or have you friends?

Antidote Sun 28-Jul-13 19:17:38

Your sister is being shit. You deserve better. Maybe her husband is putting on lots of pressure, but still!

Is there anyone else who could come and help? Your Dad? Could he go to your house & babysit if DH needs to come in?

So sorry to hear about your baby. I hope your night is OK.

Oh I thought you'd be in 3 weeks confused

Has your dh been off looking after them then?

Poor poor you, it's understandable you're so angry.

BUT she'll be missing her kids. And your older kids might be happier seeing their cousins.

I'm praying for your little one.

Could your father possibly camp out on your sofa? I am so sorry that you're in this situation, prayers for you and your little boy thanks

It doesn't matter how long she has been helping Fairycake she is family, this is as bad as a situation gets and family should be there if physically possible. Clothes and discomfort should be at the very bottom of her list!!

Yanbu sad you shouldnt even have to ask. I'm so sorry your baby is so sick sad xx

X post, I also interpreted OP wrongly as her sister had been with her kids for three weeks.

Whothefuckfarted Sun 28-Jul-13 19:20:48

She sounds like a narcissist. You're very early baby is at touch and go and 'she doesn't have any clean clothes'.

Christ, I don't know what to say...

I'll come watch them for you if you live in North Yorkshire.

HDEE Sun 28-Jul-13 19:21:11

She has already left. My husband wanted to get home to help put the twins to bed and get some sleep himself.

I have a whole house full of clothes, plus a washing machine and tumble drier, she's just making excuses.

I rang and asked her and told her he probably wouldn't survive much more than a day or two now and she agreed, but apparently has changed her mind between then and my husband getting home.

I just can't believe that she'd do that. I'd be there for a total stranger in this situation, and she went home anyway.

What about family rooms at the hospital? Can your dh and kids not be with you?

MisForMumNotMaid Sun 28-Jul-13 19:24:30

Congratulations on your son. I will keep everything crossed for you.

It does seam very unreasonable. But you have been through a hell of a few weeks and keeping things in proportion when you're bubbling with emmotion can be very hard. Hopefully the following weeks will be calmer for you.

I'm not sure its the best time to fall out with those close to you.

Are their any other options a local friend who could sit with the DC until your dad? Could pick them up and take them to your sis house?

Sometimes you just need to ask people for favours - lots of people geninely don't mind, especially at times like this. Is there anyone else?

HDEE Sun 28-Jul-13 19:24:59

Yes, I've been here three weeks. Seen no one except my husband for one hour each Saturday morning.

Just typing it out and I feel better. My family are extraordinarily odd.

queenofthepirates Sun 28-Jul-13 19:25:17

YANBU but you have a whole load on your plate at the moment so no rash decisions.

All of Mumsnet will be thinking of you. xxx

{{{{{Hugs}}}}} is there anyone? Friend, neighbour who can help? If any of my friends were in this situation a would want to help them (I wish I could help you) can DH put a few people on stand by?

LemonBreeland Sun 28-Jul-13 19:25:20

So sorry for what you are going through OP. Your sister is awful. I agree thst in the circumstances it is the kind of thing I would do for a stranger.

My thoughts are with you.

kitsmummy Sun 28-Jul-13 19:26:46

I'm so sorry for you and fwiw, I agree that what your sister has done is absolutely unforgivable. Sending positive vibes to your son, I hope he pulls through x

mynameisslimshady Sun 28-Jul-13 19:27:02

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son thanks

I am so sorry that he is so ill, I have been in a similar position and its fucking shit, to say the least. You have my every sympathy and I wish you and your little boy much strength and love.

Is it possible that your sister feels she can't cope explaining why your dh had to go in the night to the children? Clearly its nothing compared to what you and your husband are going through, but it might go some way to explaining her being so selfish.

Gwagon Sun 28-Jul-13 19:27:46

So very, very sorry for your situation.

Have never posted before, but had to to say how your sister's behaviour is so unbelievably unreasonable. What a bitch to behave this way at a time like this.

I hope your baby pulls through and you can go home soon together

Whereabouts are you, OP?

kitsmummy Sun 28-Jul-13 19:28:42

Do you have any friends locally who could stay at your house tonight?

DaleyBump Sun 28-Jul-13 19:28:45

So, so sorry you're going through this. If you're up Glasgow way, I'm more than happy to help you out.

Beautifulbabyboy Sun 28-Jul-13 19:29:11

HDEE - just wanted to send you lots of love. Really hope your baby manages to pull the through. Xx

Your sister is being very selfish and that's sad too. 🌺

filee777 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:29:23

Oh what a sad situation sad

I would have husband drop the kids off with her and get to you sharpish, don't concentrate on her behaviour it is not worth your headspace right now.

NatashaBee Sun 28-Jul-13 19:29:23

So very sorry for what you're going through hmm i guess it is a bit ask for her to sleep over and look after the kids, but if my sister (or anyone else I knew) was in your situation I'd do whatever they asked, without complaining. Hopefully she'll take a deep breath and realise she was being unreasonable.

thebody Sun 28-Jul-13 19:30:00

op have you sils? friends? hugs hugs.

deleted203 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:30:24

Really, really sorry for what you are going through.

Your sister is appalling. Like you, I'd be there for a total stranger at this point. This is a crisis. Clean clothes are not - and she could manage.

Do you have friends nearby that could perhaps come round and stay for the night once DCs are in bed so that DH could come and be with you? Could your dad not stay over?

Keeping everything crossed for you and your lovely new baby.

Pinupgirl Sun 28-Jul-13 19:31:49

Get your dh back to the hospital-bring the other kids with him if you have too. I lost my first dc at 24 weeks. Although we were told he was very ill we didn't realise how badly and my dh went home-by the time he got back we had only had an hour with him before he diedsad

Don't concern yourself with your sister at the moment-you can deal with that later. At the moment concentrate on your precious dc-you need your dh with you right now.

thistlelicker Sun 28-Jul-13 19:32:00

Aww sending hugs!!! And a hand!

Coconutty Sun 28-Jul-13 19:32:49

Where about are you?

Cherriesarelovely Sun 28-Jul-13 19:34:24

So sorry you are in this situation and so very sorry to hear your son is so poorly. What a terrible time for you. Of course yanbu, it is unthinkable that anyone would behave in this way. I so hope some of your family members can come up with a plan to support you. Thinking of you Op xxx

quoteunquote Sun 28-Jul-13 19:34:51

Sorry you are going through this,

People sometimes are really odd when it comes to supporting people in NICU, they don't get it, sorry.

I hope someone steps up to the mark soon so your husband can come and share this time with you.

hermioneweasley Sun 28-Jul-13 19:35:20

I am so sorry about your new baby and everything your family is gong through, and so sorry that your sister is being so crap.

Ruprekt Sun 28-Jul-13 19:36:56

Where are you HDEE?

I will come and see you if you are local. And I will bring chocolates.

Thinking of you all. Xx

Hissy Sun 28-Jul-13 19:37:22

I don't know what to say about your sister, it's almost beyond belief.

I've suffered cruelty at the hands of my sister, but omg, nothing like this! Shocking!

My thoughts and hopes are with you and your family.

Hissy Sun 28-Jul-13 19:38:09

If you're anywhere near me, i'll come and sit with you for a bit!

mayoandchips Sun 28-Jul-13 19:38:40

flowers I'm so sorry to hear about your baby, no advice to give, I'm sure others will be of more help, just wanted to tell you that my prayers are with you xxx

Low. That's all I can say about her. I truly hope your little one pulls through and wish you luck and strength xx

Groovee Sun 28-Jul-13 19:41:16

flowers thinking off you. Are there any friends locally who could help out instead?

Do you have any contact details for parents in your 6yr old's class? I am fairly confident that under similar circumstances most other parents in my dd's school would help if they possibly could.

pantsjustpants Sun 28-Jul-13 19:41:49

I'm so sorry your baby is so poorly, praying he pulls through.

YANBU,but your sister is. Where are you and where is your home? I'm in north Hampshire and would help.

PaddyP00 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:41:58

Op I have no words of advice for you, but agree with others that your sister is being hideously unfair right now.

Massive hugs from me

Iwasagnome Sun 28-Jul-13 19:43:07

I could come and look after kids and I`m sure others could too.
Please say where you are
Good luck and very sorry about all this

monkeynuts123 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:43:29

She's a bitch. My sister dumped me in it when I really needed her and I have nothing more to do with her, I can't bring myself to even look at her. Forget your sister for now, just get yourselves through this time and deal with her when you have energy. Praying for your precious baby. x

Cuddlydragon Sun 28-Jul-13 19:43:48

I am speechless. What a horrible cow. Congratulations on your son. I'll keep everything crossed he recovers. Bless you.

JimminyBillyBob Sun 28-Jul-13 19:44:08

Would also be happy to watch your children to help, am crb'd. Let us know - so sorry you're all going through this thanks

Plomino Sun 28-Jul-13 19:46:12

So hoping that your little lad improves . I hope one day your sister looks back on this and is mortified . Am in West Norfolk if that's any help ?

dontwannasaywho Sun 28-Jul-13 19:47:59

flowers Congratulations on the birth of your Son. That is awful the way your Sis has been going on, someone else mentioned narcissist, I would agree theres a good possibility of that.

Hope and prayers for your little one x

ChristineDaae Sun 28-Jul-13 19:49:03

No advice on your sister I find her actions shocking.

Just wanted to wish you and your little family the best of luck. I will be keeping everything crossed for your Ds

Lovetea Sun 28-Jul-13 19:50:41

So sorry your going through this OP! Congratulations on the birth of your son. flower

I am happy to come and sit with you for a bit or help out with your other DC, I am home ATM for summer hols.

RoxyFox211 Sun 28-Jul-13 19:52:57

Of course Yanbu. What a horrible, tragic thing to happen. So sorry for you and your baby.

bumbleymummy Sun 28-Jul-13 19:56:49

So sorry to hear that your little boy is so sick. I hope he pulls through. I also think thst your sister is being horrible. You should not even have to be thinking about things like this right now. Have you asked about fanily rooms in the hospital? Is there any way your Dad could stay at your house? Thinking of you all x

RappyNash Sun 28-Jul-13 19:59:26

Sending you strength x

olidusUrsus Sun 28-Jul-13 20:08:50

Congratulations on the birth of your son, I'm so sorry to hear that he is so sick.

I would try and make other childcare arrangements. Is there no other person who can help? Is it your sister or nothing? I agree it's totally not practical for your kids to be shipped around and your DH to have to trek further than necessary to you.

I do not think your sister is unreasonable, though. She has been helping you, she just can't or won't stay overnight. And yeah that sucks but now you have to find a solution. Good luck with finding an alternative.

lunar1 Sun 28-Jul-13 20:10:06

Congratulations on your beautiful baby. I am so sorry you are going through this, I can't imagine how difficult it all is, especially on your own.

Your sister sounds like my family. Is there anything I could do to help, anything you need. If you live anywhere close, I'm in north west, even if you just needed a home cooked meal. I woul look after your children but im guessing you wouldn't want to hand them over to an Internet stranger.

Thinking of you and your baby.

OHforDUCKScake Sun 28-Jul-13 20:10:30

What an awful situation for you to be in, I hope and pray you're baby gets well.

Honestly if I were you I would find it incredibly hard to talk to her again too.

If your Dad lives 5 minutes from her can he help you out? Or have I read that wrong. X

Solari Sun 28-Jul-13 20:12:20

I'm so, so sorry for the stress and emotions you must be going through. Thinking of you. flowers

Your husband should be with you and your son. Can you get a nanny cover? It's not ideal but you need to be together now.

BridgetBidet Sun 28-Jul-13 20:15:35

I don't think you need to even give this headspace at the moment OP, concentrate on your little boy, he is the important one here. I do hope he is okay OP, I will be saying a prayer for him tonight.

GibberTheMonkey Sun 28-Jul-13 20:16:19

I'm so sorry you're going through this
I've kind of been where you are and know how you feel except I had a full back up team behind me. I cannot comprehend what your sister is thinking of.
Please let us know where you are so the might of mn can spring into action

ProjectGainsborough Sun 28-Jul-13 20:16:36

I'm so sorry, you sound like you are being massively strong. As angry as you must be, I would focus your energy on finding a solution so you have some support with you. I might be tinting this with my own world view, but I tend to fume (over much pettier things than this) rather than processing what I need to.

Never sent hugs before, but sending them now xxx

BridgetBidet Sun 28-Jul-13 20:16:38

Is there anyone else who can help? A friend or colleague you trust? I am sure that they would help out.

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 20:20:43

What a horrible situation.

I do think that your sister should stay for you.

But I also feel for her if she has three of her own to think of & a partner who is not much use.

Would your Dad not stay over?

I assume you've tried friends/neighbours?

It's the sort of situation I would help a virtual stranger in.

ventilatormum Sun 28-Jul-13 20:20:52

where are you, op? I think lots of us would step in to help and xx to your baby

ageofgrandillusion Sun 28-Jul-13 20:20:56

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Can your dad take over and have your kids? Your DH really needs to be with you. My twins were in SCBU for 6 weeks and it was a lonely awful experience.

I hope your little one pulls through. Sending hugs.

Jesus aageofgrandillusion - where's your compassion?

Coconutty Sun 28-Jul-13 20:22:52

age what a horrible, nasty post.

MissStrawberry Sun 28-Jul-13 20:23:06

Congratulations on becoming a mummy.

HDEE, if you feel able to tell us where you are maybe a poster could help? I know I would if I am near (ex nanny).

I am so sorry your baby has come early and you are going through this huge worry.

Sparklyboots Sun 28-Jul-13 20:23:11

Congratulations on the birth of your son. Sorry to hear that he is so very sick xxx It's a shame your sister has let you down so badly at this time; don't waste any more of your energy on this.

I am in London and would be pleased to help. Let me know by PM if we could organise a MN sister surrogate for the time being xxx

What an awful situation for you. Congratulations on the birth if your son and I hope he pulls through. YANBU. You are in the worst situation and she can't be bothered to help. I am angry on your behalf.

Chiggers Sun 28-Jul-13 20:24:08

So sorry you're going through this OP sad, but congratulations on your wee man smile. I can't believe your sister is doing things begrudgingly when you're going through all this. Please come back and update us on how you're getting on, and how you DS is.

mynameisslimshady Sun 28-Jul-13 20:24:55

Ffs age the op is clearly focusing on her little boy, she is allowed 10 minutes to vent her anger isn't she. Does it make you feel important when you are being snidey and nasty to someone going through such an awful time?

MissStrawberry Sun 28-Jul-13 20:25:14

Reported your disgusting post ageofwhateverillsions.

Someone certainly is under a misillusion that anyone cares about their opinion.

saintmerryweather Sun 28-Jul-13 20:25:51

spending one day with the kids then handing.them back when its imperative that the ops dh gets to her and their sick baby...thats not 'doing what she can'

Thurlow Sun 28-Jul-13 20:26:08

FFS, age. Have you ever been alone in a hospital with a baby in NICU or SCBU? You are allowed to connect with the outside world. Hope you feel great about yourself.

JambalayaCodfishPie Sun 28-Jul-13 20:27:39

Age?! Hope that cunt of a post made you feel better.

SirBoobAlot Sun 28-Jul-13 20:28:30

Congratulations on your baby, OP.

YANBU to be upset at all.

Where are you? I'm sure there are plenty of MNers who would want to help.

Sparklyboots Sun 28-Jul-13 20:29:08

The whole point of this thread is that the OP's sister has not done what she could; she only did what she felt able to do given the state of her clothing age, which is hardly stretching the bounds of the relationship. Even if you did think it the absolute limit to stay at someone's house overnight in the current circumstances, there are more gentle ways of saying so. Perhaps if you aren't feeling able to be kind to the OP in her current situation you should just not say anything at all.

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 20:29:42

I have to say though, if OP has a dad in the picture, I don't see why it should all fall to her sister who has her own family.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 28-Jul-13 20:30:13

So sorry OP, hope your little boy does pull through flowers

Your sister is a stone cold heartless bitch.

age are you for real? What is the matter with you? Are you OP's sister?

BridgetBidet Sun 28-Jul-13 20:30:24

Diddl me too. I think if it's your sister you can buy a new pair of pants from the poundshop and put up with dirty clothes for a day or borrow the OPs. I have to say if that was me I would have got there myself even if it meant a Wonga loan and a taxi.

Gruffalump Sun 28-Jul-13 20:30:35

One morning a week is hardly a big ask!!

CaptainUndercrackers Sun 28-Jul-13 20:31:32

So sorry you and your family are going through this and praying for your little boy. Your sister certainly sounds like she could be more supportive in what is clearly a crisis situation.

Reported ages unpleasant post - there's plenty of sniping to be done elsewhere on MN, this is not the place for it.

IrisWildthyme Sun 28-Jul-13 20:31:32

I'm so sorry to hear this. Wishing you and your small boy all the strength you need to get through this awful time.

I'm sure that if you are willing to divulge your location you will get a deluge of willing volunteers to help. I certainly will if you are anywhere near me, as many others above have also said. If you aren't comfortable trusting a MNer you don't know, can provide an emergency nanny at virtually no notice when you really need it. Could your DH register on the site just in case it's needed?

YANBU about your sister. It's really awful you couldn't rely on her when she needed you. Could her kids & DH come to stay at your house so that your DH can come and camp in the hospital with you?

Gruffalump Sun 28-Jul-13 20:32:11

Age- what a nasty bitch you sound.

BridgetBidet Sun 28-Jul-13 20:32:50

Yes, if you happen to be in Jessops Hospital OP let me know. I am nearby and could help even if it was just to drop in papers, do a bit of washing for you or bring you some edible food!

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Sun 28-Jul-13 20:34:08

Oh love, hope you are holding it together, hope your baby is stable and doing as well as possible. Xxxxx

MoominsYonisAreScary Sun 28-Jul-13 20:34:44

Yes let us know where you are, maybe someone will be able to help

MrsDeVere Sun 28-Jul-13 20:34:55

She has no excuse.
She should be there for you.
You have a desperately sick baby and you need her help.

You have every right to be angry. I am so sorry you are having to cope with this.

Try to put your anger at your sister aside for now. Write her off until you have more energy to spare. You need all your reserves.

I know what it feels like to be let down by family. It hurts.

Nanny0gg Sun 28-Jul-13 20:37:09

Because, diddl, her dad may not be able to cope. My DH would struggle on his own (elderly)

FGS people, if you can't just send support and good thoughts to the OP, then please don't bother.

HDEE, hoping so much that you have good news for your baby.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Sun 28-Jul-13 20:38:11

Yes, deal with your sister later. Focus on either a) getting someone else to sit at your house so your DH can come to the hospital, or second best b) getting someone else to keep you company at the hospital. If you post a location (you could always ask MNHQ to delete that post later) you might get someone nearby.

MrsDeVere Sun 28-Jul-13 20:38:29

I am not surprised at age's post. Given her posting history she seems incapable of saying anything nice.

so -delete-- me

busymum1 Sun 28-Jul-13 20:38:48

congratulations on your new baby fingers crossed he gets stronger nicu is a scary place and very lonely. I hope you manage to sort something and if you do post what area hopefully somebody will be able to help you.

Turniptwirl Sun 28-Jul-13 20:39:40

Thinking of you and your son OP

It's lovely to see all the offerings of support on here. Anyone with a heart would do anything they could to help someone in your situation yanbu to expect your sister to borrow a pair of pants for a day!

olidusUrsus Sun 28-Jul-13 20:41:07

OP have you tried the Bliss Message Boards? Offers support for parents dealing with premature babies, both pre- during- and post NICU stay.

Footface Sun 28-Jul-13 20:42:01

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BendyBusBuggy Sun 28-Jul-13 20:42:14

I am so sorry OP. Thinking of you and DS.

OrangeJuiceSandwich Sun 28-Jul-13 20:42:33

This thread has really got to me. I can't imagine not wanting to help someone in these circumstances, anyone.

I'm praying for your lovely little baby.

Footface Sun 28-Jul-13 20:43:01

Op I'm really sorry this is happening. Your sister is a shit.

Where abouts are you ?

BarnYardCow Sun 28-Jul-13 20:43:47

It should be an unspoken rule that siblings help each other out at times like these, her husband should just be told that he has got his children until she is not needed by you to help with yours. Sorry to hear that your baby has arrived so early, sending positive thoughts your way. Xx

mrspaddy Sun 28-Jul-13 20:45:37

What a dreadful position to be in.. congratulations on your little baby.. I will say a prayer for you xxx

PS.. your sister has a lot to learn.. I would be more that angry at this.

Dorris83 Sun 28-Jul-13 20:46:54

HDEE I'm so sorry that you and your new DS are in this awful situation. I'm thinking of you and wishing health for your lovely DS.
Take care HDEE

Cuddlydragon Sun 28-Jul-13 20:47:10

age that post was horrible. Truly, how can you look at yourself after that.

dontwannasaywho Sun 28-Jul-13 20:49:01

[ageofgrandillusion] that is so horrible, what a mean thing to say to someone on here at a time like this

Age I really hope that like I did the other day that you have misjudged and mis understood the tone of the op, and posted before thinking. I did this and was at least decent enough to own up to my very foolish mistake and apologise. If not then do ftfothfsof, you know what to do when you get there!

Op, I hope not have taken some of these ladies up on their offer of pm's and support. If you're able please tell us where you are, help is out there (or in here).

OnTheNingNangNong Sun 28-Jul-13 20:51:31

Sending thoughts to you, some good advice here, I hope you can find something that will help you out. I also agree that your sisters response isn't important now, so try to concentrate on finding some help with your DC.

Age, you're coming across as a total twat.

BoffinMum Sun 28-Jul-13 20:51:42

If you are in Addenbrookes I am near if you need TLC xx

Turniptwirl Sun 28-Jul-13 20:52:36

Ages's horrible post has thankfully been deleted

Fwiw I haven't spoken to my sister for years and we don't get on at all but I would still help her in this situation if I could on any way.

Don't give her a thought for now, concentrate on dh and DC.

age I hope to god you never experience the hell the op is going through. Trolls like you are scum and hopefully mnhq will ban you to stop you posting your bile on here.

AnotherStitchInTime Sun 28-Jul-13 20:55:05

Congratulations on the birth of your son.

So sorry to hear that he is unwell. Sending my prayers and thoughts to you and your family and this difficult time.

YANBU, your sister should be supporting you, I can't believe that she is being so selfish.

When my SIL was with my niece in SCBU I looked after my dd and her other 3 kids whenever she needed it, over nights and days. I slept on the floor on sofa cushions with my then 1 year old so that she could be with her baby.

CSIJanner Sun 28-Jul-13 20:55:06

Age - what a fucking horrible thing to say.

OP - sending strength and no, YANBU. I would do that in a heartbeat for any of my siblings. In fact, if your children are anywhere near me, we'll look after them for you. I've been in NICU - and it's shit flowers

josiejay Sun 28-Jul-13 20:58:44

So so sorry you're going through this and that your sister is making things even harder by being so unbelievably selfish whrn you need her the most. You and your DH shouldn't be having to think about anything but your darling boy right now. I will be thinking of you and your family.

Betternc4this Sun 28-Jul-13 21:04:13

I agree the OP is in an awful situation and I really hope that your baby gets stronger and pulls through.
But I cant help but think that your sister would not have gone home to her house had your DH not gone home. As you say she appeared to change her mind on your DH arriving home.
Most hospitals are geared up for these situations these days, so that dads can stay to support mum and baby. I cant imagine they wouldnt have facilitated your DH to have a shower etc and to sleep there.
Maybe your sister felt that she was staying at your house so that your DH could be with you and then when she found out he was coming home for some home comforts/facilities that she might as well do the same.
As I say I am very sorry for your situation but I just think you are being a little hard on your sister. She has looked after your DCs as soon as events unfolded and then whilst you gave birth without question presumably and now has said that as soon as required your DCs can be brought to her house at any time of day and night.

foreverondiet Sun 28-Jul-13 21:05:14

Yanbu - probably need to find a friend to help and make it clear that you aren't interested in continuing your relationship with her. In these circumstances I'd pull out all stops for anyone, family or not....

whatshallwedo Sun 28-Jul-13 21:06:16

Yanbu I can't believe your sister is being like this when you need her help and support.

Congratulations on the birth pf your ds, I have my fingers crossed for you all.

If you are in the Norfolk and Norwich please pm and I will happily visit you smile

HaveTeaWillSurvive Sun 28-Jul-13 21:08:19

This has actually made me cry, I cannot believe your sister (and her DP) is such a cruel heartless bitch. I don't care even if she had been looking after your kids for 3 weeks, that what family do. Jeez, i'd give a casual acquaintance more support, if you're around Edinburgh PM if there's anything I can do. In the meantime do you know anyone local who can allow your husband to get to you and your son?

Big hugs, hand holding and I'll be thinking if you tonight x

Angelfootprints Sun 28-Jul-13 21:11:33

My stomach actually turned for you reading your post HDEE. What on earth is wrong with your sister? The stress and emotions you must be going through are horrendous. Its the least she could do, is to wash her clothes/ borrow yours.

She could just make your life that tiniest bit easier right now. Take some strain away for you.

Make you feel like people care.Like your not alone.

I'm not sure what else to say, its just shocking.

BridgetBidet Sun 28-Jul-13 21:11:40

Better. So the fact that her husband went home and had a shower and changed clothes means that her sister shouldn't help her out when her baby is seriously ill. Really.

Sorry in this situation every stop must be pulled out. Wonga loans, kids in a taxi, pants from a pound shop, wearing borrowed clothes. You just do it.

Angelfootprints Sun 28-Jul-13 21:12:53

If you want to say your rough location such as county (even if through PM), if I'm near to you I will help too.

DevastatedD0G Sun 28-Jul-13 21:16:29

I'm so sorry your ds is so poorly, and that your sister is being a total shit. If you're anywhere near me doubtful (Cornwall) I'd be more than happy to help out.

countrymummy13 Sun 28-Jul-13 21:17:35


I had my baby boy at 27+5 last year after my waters broke early. Although we were very lucky with a healthy baby and a local NICU, I know a little of what you're going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

You are of course being completely reasonable in your expectations of your sister. You are in a truly horrific situation and the last thing you need is worrying about your older children being carted around in the middle of the night.

But try not to worry about them too much, this time will pass and when you've got the time and energy again they'll get over all the upheaval.

Try to avoid any major blowouts now. You've got bigger things to worry about. But, when she needs help I wouldn't bother putting yourself out too much.

Good luck HDEE. I hope things look up soon.

peachypips Sun 28-Jul-13 21:19:26

Waiting to find out where you are too xx

breakingup Sun 28-Jul-13 21:27:19


ChubbyKitty Sun 28-Jul-13 21:28:53

Same. If your Newark area then I'm in walking distance. Your sister is being awful. No clean pants hmm

Can't she cope with a slightly smelly fanjo for a few hours..? Or go commando? Or stick a panty liner in? I mean I will assume you have a bathroom at your house so I don't think it's much of a stretch to wash at your house?

I'm so sorry about your little boy and I hope he pulls through thanksbrew

ProtegeMoi Sun 28-Jul-13 21:32:10

So sorry your in this situation and praying for your little boy.

If your anywhere near Cheshire let me know and I will help out all I can, wether that's bringing you bits and pieces, company or someone to help with the older children (I'm a qualified teaching assistant and have police check, first aid etc. that you can see).

MammaTJ Sun 28-Jul-13 21:34:07

I am sure there will be an MNer nearby willing to help you.

Tell us where you are.

So sorry you are going through this without your sisters full support.

Betternc4this Sun 28-Jul-13 21:35:38

No er I definitely didn't say that Bridget. I was just pointing out the sisters possible pov as I just think maybe she is getting a bit of an unfair press when really all she has done is exactly as the OPs DH has done - i.e. chosen to go home to her own familiar home surroundings and to see her own DCS rather than suffer a little discomfort using someone elses facilities /being away from your own home.

breakingup Sun 28-Jul-13 21:39:05

better when there is a tiny baby in a critical condition there are no points of view and certainly no excuses for making the parents any more stressed than they already are. Ops sister should of stayed regardless of smelly armpits!

Praying for your baby boy xxx

MoominsYonisAreScary Sun 28-Jul-13 21:43:42

When ds4 was born at 20 weeks my sister looked after ds2 for a week, even though she had to juggle work etc mil and sil had ds3 and my mum had ds1. Families should help at times like these.

I'm in Nottingham ver close to the city hospital if there is anything I can do

If you or ypur home is in north londond then I'm more then happy to help in anyway you need...I'm an ofsted registered nanny

Am thinking of you and your sweet boy xxxxx

UnexpectedStepmum Sun 28-Jul-13 21:45:33

HDEE also thinking of you and wishing your beautiful little boy the best. I am in east London if that's any help and will happily babysit, visit you or help in any way I can. I have one useless sister too, I have friends who mean far more to me than she does. I hope you have other people to support you in RL, you certainly do here.

Coconutty Sun 28-Jul-13 21:50:50

Hoping for good news for you HDEE. Lots of us wanting to help if we can, let us know where you are if you can and one of us will be nearby. PM one of us if you prefer.

Trazzletoes Sun 28-Jul-13 21:53:14

Massive hugs HDEE. I've PMed you in case you're at the LGI in Leeds. If you are, im downstairs and available for anything you could need.

BridgetBidet Sun 28-Jul-13 21:54:04

Better FRO. When your nephew is in a critical condition you move heaven and earth to help your sister. You don't baulk at 'suffering a little discomfort using someone else's facilities'.

If this was my sister I would wear dirty knickers, wear borrowed clothes, not wash, not brush my teeth, not brush my hair or even stand in the middle of Bristol with a sign saying 'BridgetBidet is a dirty mare who smells of knickers and take it up the bum' if it would help my sister.

Betternc4this Sun 28-Jul-13 21:54:38

I just don't agree the sister should be made the scapegoat in this very sad situation. She didn't as far as we know phone the DH and demand he leave the hospital and his distressed DW and sick baby so she could go home. She was actually facilitating DH staying by their side until he chose to come home and have a shower and see his other DCs. So she did the same but still agreed to have the DCs brought to her at any time should need be.

CocacolaMum Sun 28-Jul-13 21:58:30

In cambs and happy to help if you are near x

I am so sorry that you are going through this, its a horrible feeling not to be able to rely on family xx

Mogz Sun 28-Jul-13 22:01:29

I'm near Huntingdon if there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to let us take a weight off your mind at this time. Wishing you and the little one all the love and luck.

MoominsYonisAreScary Sun 28-Jul-13 22:02:28

She sounds fucking awful, If she had agreed to stay the ops dh could have gone back to the hospital after having a shower etc. It must be awful to be on your own under these circumstances

olidusUrsus Sun 28-Jul-13 22:12:37

Agree Betternc. It's very sad that poor OP's baby is sick, of course it is. But it isn't the sisters fault. She is perfectly entitled to say sorry, I can't help right now. And though lots of people would go to the ends of the earth for their siblings, unfortunately not all siblings have that relationship.

Luckily lots of MN'ers with available time and resources are stepping up. Hopefully OP will spot someone in her area.

Bliss will be good for support too OP, you may have already been handed some of their leaflets on NICU. If not, ask for some or look online. They are very helpful and it's sometimes comforting to have the information there.

MrsDeVere Sun 28-Jul-13 22:15:55

The OP has the right to be hurt and angry at her sister for her lack of compassion at this difficult time.

Sometimes you have to put yourself out for others. Even if it is difficult.

MoominsYonisAreScary Sun 28-Jul-13 22:18:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProtegeMoi Sun 28-Jul-13 22:19:50

I know this is AIBU but can we please not argue about wether or not the sister / op is BU. the OP is going through an awful time right now and needs support, that's all that matters and everything else can wait.

olidusUrsus Sun 28-Jul-13 22:20:46

The OP has the right to be hurt and angry at her sister for her lack of compassion at this difficult time.

Of course she does, but it doesn't look like the sister is willing to look after the children for the night, so OP or her DH need to find an alternative so that they can both be with each other and the baby.

LifeIsSoDifferent Sun 28-Jul-13 22:24:38

I'm so sorry your going through this OP my thoughts are with you and your little boy! You hear of miracles and I really hope your little man gets one!!

Where abouts are you? There are alot of people on MN who will help

Your not so Dsis is terrible. I can't believe you would even need to ask her to watch them she should jus automatically do it!

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking Sun 28-Jul-13 22:28:08

I'm in Lincolnshire Op if there is anything at all I can do to help.

Also want to add in I can/will help in anyway needed.

I'm in east london

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mildred37 Sun 28-Jul-13 22:33:57

I'm in North Cambs, can be more specific on PM if needed. Please please please contact me if I can help in any way - be it clean clothes/food for you or anything for your DS/DC. Thinking of you and your family, your sister is shit. If I were in her shoes there would be no getting rid of me.

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 22:34:00

I assume the husband has no family nearby who can help.

I'd be gutted if my sister behaved like this.

Sadly, I could see it happening if it meant him looking after his own child alone.

I hope OP sorts something out so that her husband can be with her.

I would offer help myself, but am not in UK.

Samu2 Sun 28-Jul-13 22:34:03

I will be thinking of you and your baby.

I am in Norwich, very near that hospital if that happens to be where you are.

So much love going out to you flowers

BridgetBidet Sun 28-Jul-13 22:39:32

Fucking hell. There are some callous bastards about. I would walk over hot coals if my brother was in this situation and I thought it would help. I would drag my husband out of work (and he would leave willingly) to drive me there if I was needed.

I would go to the foreign country my husband is from at the drop of a hat and at great personal expense if this happened to my sister in law.

Paying for a taxi is not that fucking big an ask when your nephew is critically ill.

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Sun 28-Jul-13 22:42:28

YANBU op, I'm so sorry you're in this situation, it's heartbreaking. Congratulations on the birth of your son. Your sister seems to have no compassion sad . I hope your DH can get there in time should he need to. Thinking of you and your baby.

ageofgrandillusion Sun 28-Jul-13 22:42:38

Can i make a suggestion that MNHQ remove this thread? I made an honest post to an AIBU thread and was removed. We dont know the full facts, the relationship between the sisters etc etc, there may be more to this than meets the eye.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tiredmumno1 Sun 28-Jul-13 22:43:49

HDEE I am so sorry sad thinking of you and your family at this time xx

Deal with your sister when you feel up to it.

I hope you can take someone up on their offer here. Sending strength to you all, especially DS x

Tiredmumno1 Sun 28-Jul-13 22:44:29

Wtf? Age how is it your call to ask for a thread to be deleted?

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 28-Jul-13 22:45:01

When ones idea of being honest is everybody else's idea of extreme unpleasantness one might want to have a think about how appropriate the statement was age

Plomino Sun 28-Jul-13 22:45:25

Actually I suggest it remains . The OP is in obvious need of help from someone , and if one of us can help , then deleting it will just remove another possible option for her .

Sometime , honesty is not required . Sometime , just compassion is .

mynameisslimshady Sun 28-Jul-13 22:45:26

No you didn't age , you can dress it up as an honest opinion if you like, the rest of us saw it as the nasty dig it was.

Tiredmumno1 Sun 28-Jul-13 22:45:41

Oh and obviously your comment was not appropriate age, otherwise it wouldn't have been deleted

saintmerryweather Sun 28-Jul-13 22:49:01

you cant ask for the thread to be removed because you got deleted and didnt like it. if you suspect the op is not genuine then report the thread instead of coming on here being suspicious

i hope you are able to.take a mn up on their offer op, praying for your little boy x

charlottehere Sun 28-Jul-13 22:50:21

Feel sick for you. sad she is bu totally. Congratulations thinking positive thoughtsxx I'm in Essex, hearts border so andde brooks totally doable. Pm me.x

HenriettaPye Sun 28-Jul-13 22:51:05

If you r in Northern Ireland I will help- just drop me a PM.

Saying a prayer for your beautiful son x

charlottehere Sun 28-Jul-13 22:52:04

Positive thoughts fr tiny baby boy.

Joanne279 Sun 28-Jul-13 22:52:11

Huge hugs op. I wish you baby the best.

Your sister is being selfish under the circumstances. My god, in those circumstances, I'd help someone I severely disliked, let alone family.

I'm assuming you have a washing machine she could use? Or borrow something of yours.

Again hun, huge huge hugs x

TalkativeJim Sun 28-Jul-13 22:52:19

Oh OP, fingers crossed for your little boy. I will be thinking about you.

From what you've said about hospitals etc. I doubt that you are based near me, but if you are - I would be available to help you.

charlottehere Sun 28-Jul-13 22:52:26

Positive thoughts fr tiny baby boy.

5madthings Sun 28-Jul-13 22:53:38

Oh hdee sending love and strength to you and your little boy, does he have a name?

Yanbu to be furious, ffs this is OE of those times when you put yourself out and do what needs to be done, if any of my friends or family was in your situation I would do anything needed to help.

I am also very near the n&n in Norwich, literally ten mins drove so if that so where you are then pm, happy to have extra kids etc.

Much love and strength

PistachioTruffle Sun 28-Jul-13 22:56:35

Thinking of you and your little boy, HDEE flowers

DreamingOfTheMaldives Sun 28-Jul-13 22:57:32

I'm in Manchester HDEE if I can be of any help to you.

Sending positive thoughts for your little boy

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Footface Sun 28-Jul-13 23:00:29

age I reported your post, not for the comment about the sister having done as much as she can, but for the 2nd line whic was a disgusting, rude, cruel and disgraceful comment which told the op to get off of mn and look after her baby.

Don't try and back track now

morethanpotatoprints Sun 28-Jul-13 23:03:59

YANBU you poor love.
My prayers go out to you, and of course your little one.

I hope you find somebody else to mind your dc because your dh would want to be with you.

Is there a neighbour or a friend who can help.
My friend had help from school when she went through similar, the TA's had her girls overnight. The nursery can be good too out of hours for emergencies sometimes. It is certainly worth bearing in mind.

Angelfootprints Sun 28-Jul-13 23:09:47

I don't know what you said age, but guess what this thread isn't about you.

The audacity of you though, wanting someone else's thread deleted because you made your self look horrid.

riskit4abiskit Sun 28-Jul-13 23:12:32

Congratulations on the birth of your son. Cant imagine what you must be going through, am thinking of you. I am in greater manc and crb cleared too I would gladly help with babysitting.

SamHamwidge Sun 28-Jul-13 23:12:58

I am sat here heartbroken and am praying for your lovely little baby boy. PROM is so cruel . If there is anything I can do please pm me- in east Kent. X

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aspiemum2 Sun 28-Jul-13 23:21:31

Yanbu, your husband should be with you and your baby and any family you have should rally round to facilitate that. It is what any normal human being would do and anything else is completely unthinkable to me.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through and desperately hoping that your beautiful baby defies the odds

sad oh im so sorry x

she's being a shit! she should be there for you

I'm in NW Kent op. CRB checked and happy to help if you're close by.

I truly hope your son pulls through. You are both in my prayers.

So sorry, hope your son pulls through.

Do you have a grown up daughter, could she help?

Apologies if I have the wrong poster.

BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy Sun 28-Jul-13 23:30:57

Congratulations on your son,I'm in south Ireland if that's any help to you.

RubyrooUK Sun 28-Jul-13 23:32:13

Congratulations on your baby boy and I'm sorry he is so sick. Will be thinking of you both. X

SloughCow Sun 28-Jul-13 23:36:48

YANBU in my opinion BUT very ungrateful

i was the sister left looking after my niece and nephew when my sister had her son who was kept in hospital for 2 weeks.
essentially, i was running 2 households, hers and mine. i have 3 kids myself, and it is enormous pressure, that tbh i cant even type into sentences.
when she came home, she felt he wasn't better, and took him back for a further 11 days- i told her i need to be in my own house, i just found it easier to be there, and my niece and nephew came to stay with me.
she still takes him to hospital, and i bring the kids home, look after them for when shes back.

its not easy on you, i know how it feels, i really do, waiting for the worst, but dont cut her off, shes only capable of so much

thefuturesnotourstosee Sun 28-Jul-13 23:37:47

OP we are in birmingham. I'm fully crb checked. Please PM me if we can help even if its only to bring you some clean knickers and some decent food

I'm so sorry you're going through this


schobe Sun 28-Jul-13 23:42:32

Ungrateful? For one morning a week but then refusing one, possibly crucial night for a lack of clean clothes?

I think you did so much more for your sister SloughCow than the op's sister. I don't think ungrateful is appropriate here, or particularly kind under the circs.

muminthecity Sun 28-Jul-13 23:42:53

I'm so sorry OP, what an awful time for you. Your sister is completely and utterly unreasonable. Most people would be falling over themselves to help you, related or not, she should be doing more. If I were in your situation I would fully expect my sister to go out of her way and do anything in her power to help, and I have no doubt that she would. I hope your darling baby boy pulls through, sending you lots of love thanks

Tiredmumno1 Sun 28-Jul-13 23:44:00

But her sister hasn't offered to have the kids at hers slough, she just left and let them deal with such an awful situation.

The OPs DH should be with her, and most of all their son.

Praying for you all x

muminthecity Sun 28-Jul-13 23:44:02

Oh and I am in South London, I'm a teaching assistant with CRB etc. I'd be happy to help in any way possible.

ChimeForChange Sun 28-Jul-13 23:44:57

North West London if you need any help around here.

Thinking of you and your new baby boy x x

SloughCow Mon 29-Jul-13 00:08:58

schobe you're right for calling me on that 'ungrateful' was completley the wrong word to have used, especially as i hadn't read the post properly, i thought the sister had the kids already for 3 weeks, as opposed to 1 night but when you've been through something so simillar, less than a couple of months ago, its hard to get across what you mean clearly

i'm sure ops sister isn't stupid, and knows her lack of assistance will have consequences, and if the dad is a short drive away, he should help to, rather than expect all the responsibility to fall on her

MCos Mon 29-Jul-13 00:18:20

OP, no words to add. Only God Bless, and good luck.

Mimishimi Mon 29-Jul-13 00:20:14

YANBU. Could your kids go and stay with her or your dad if she prefers to be at home, so that both you and your DH can spend time with your little boy? So sorry that he has health problems sad [hug]

ThatVikRinA22 Mon 29-Jul-13 00:29:07

has the OP been back at all? i hope she didnt see that post from age and feel unable to come back.
what the fuck is wrong with some people?

HDEE there are loads of people who are willing to help you out - come back if you can.
wishing you lots of luck with your baby boy. x

Zazzles007 Mon 29-Jul-13 01:08:12

OP I am sorry that on top of your complications, that your sister is being so self-absorbed. I can imagine my sister behaving just like your unfortunately, so I totally sympathise.

Best of luck and hope things turn out for the best.

FasterStronger Mon 29-Jul-13 07:41:45

it is a very sad situation. unfortunately I don't think it is at all unusual that you cannot rely on your siblings.

melmo26 Mon 29-Jul-13 08:25:41

Hope your little man pulled through. Sometimes miracles do happen.

Just found this thread, how dreadful of your sister OP. I would drop EVERYTHING for my Dsis.

I am thinking of you and hoping your little baby gets stronger thanks


fuckwittery Mon 29-Jul-13 08:33:45

age I'll think you'll find with most posts on MN, we don't know all the back story, and not knowing the full story is not a reason to delete a thread. deleting posts for personal attacks is however in the talk guidelines (suggesting OP should get off MN was disgusting)
So, you would have the whole thread deleted, with countless offers of support. I would suggest YOU get off the thread pronto.

OP, I am in North Herts would have your children (have 2 of my own who would vouch for me I think) or come and sit you with this afternoon if you are in Stevenage or Cambridge hospitals. Prayers being said for your baby x

Branleuse Mon 29-Jul-13 08:40:41

im in north essex and am happy to help if needed x

GingerBlondecat Mon 29-Jul-13 08:43:25

The (((((((((((((((softest, warmest of Hugs)))))))))))))) OP

Coconutty Mon 29-Jul-13 09:32:20

How's he doing this morning, HDEE? Xxx

mootime Mon 29-Jul-13 09:48:16

YANBU. Congratulations on the birth of your son. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's terrible to say but sometime family members just really don't get it at times like this. There were member of my DH's family who behaved so terribly while my son was in NICU and in the weeks after we lost him that I still struggle to see them.
I hope that your son makes a turn for the better, and you manage to get your husband to be with you.

MissStrawberry Mon 29-Jul-13 10:22:37

I would just ignore age. Pointless posts from someone with no compassion.

OP sending you thoughts and hopes that your baby boy is improving.

thebody Mon 29-Jul-13 10:30:49

how are you today op, thinking about you all.hugs xx

Hope you were able to get some support organised, thinking of you thanks

ICBINEG Mon 29-Jul-13 10:50:58

Thinking of you thanks - Offer of hand holding if you are in NE...

Madmum24 Mon 29-Jul-13 10:51:08

Your sis is being BVU OP but leave it with her for now, channel all your energy on your precious son and don't give up hope. My friend gave birth in the car at 23 weeks and her daughter was very poorly for months, frequent bleeds etc and were told to remove life support (which they refused). She is now a very loud, happy, healthy 8 year old. I pray that your son will be the same xxx

Tiredmumno1 Mon 29-Jul-13 11:09:59

Thinking of you all this morning HDEE


Edendance Mon 29-Jul-13 11:20:50

Could you possibly pay to get an emergancey nanny in? There are agencies who specialise in hiring out nannies to people just like you who need sudden Leo in emergancy scenarios.

But yes, it does sound like your sister is being a big job... :-(

coldwater1 Mon 29-Jul-13 11:25:42

Hi OP.

If you live in London i can offer any help over the next two days (days off work) and can fit it around my own family (9 kids!). Not a problem. I know what it is like to have a very sick newborn in hospital, my first baby was very ill, not prem but terminally ill and died at 4 months. Really, i will not mind at all. x

ben5 Mon 29-Jul-13 11:28:01

Is there a MacDonald house near by that could help? We stayed in one when ds2 was poorly

LeGavrOrf Mon 29-Jul-13 11:30:33

Oh how awful.

I really hope your baby is getting better and that your husband has been able to be there with you.

What a terrible time for you all. Your sister should have done all she could to help. Most right minding people would drop everything to help someone in such a heartremding situation.

Chiggers Mon 29-Jul-13 11:32:32

OP, I hope you don't feel that you can't come back here and post because of Age's reply. It has been reported and deleted and we're all here for support if you need to talk smile

Chiggers Mon 29-Jul-13 11:36:47

<<waves at Vicar>> How are you doing these days Vicar?

The OP hasn't been back recently, which is understandable considering the circumstances, but I hope everything's OK.

McPie Mon 29-Jul-13 11:39:06

I too am within the Edinburgh area and would help you out if I could and I don't even know you so how your sister can do this to you is beyond me. I really do hope both of you are ok and am so sad you are having to go through this tough time alone because your family wont pull together and support you like they should xxx

Am thinipking of you and hoping today will bring an improvement thanks If you don't want to post here (because of comments like age ) then it's understandable sad but we are a,l here to support you if you need to talk.

CunningAtBothEnds Mon 29-Jul-13 14:13:15

Your sister is being awful. But try hard not to let it bother you at this time. Praying for you all xx

CunningAtBothEnds Mon 29-Jul-13 14:19:56

Oh and ageofgrandillusion... You have no place here, in the mumsnet COMMUNITY, you have No idea what it means. It is support for people when they are alone, whether physically or emotionally, when they are in need, i genuinely value this community. With callous vile comments YOU dont. How bloody dare you.

SimplyRedHead Mon 29-Jul-13 14:32:14

Dear OP

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I have also had a prem baby in NICU and know how heart wrenching it is. Have you contacted Bliss? They may be able to offer your practical and emotional support. They really are brilliant and have local support groups

They will know what is available to you locally.

I am in SE London and CRB checked. I am happy to do anything I can to help.

I have everything crossed for you x

Itwasallfornothing Mon 29-Jul-13 15:03:41

Wow, I'm shocked that some people could even think about injecting poison into a post about something so heartbreaking. I would expect an adult to be able to restrain from slagging off someone who is going through the worst situation imaginable and put their own, rather ridiculous opinions aside and just see the situation for what it is. A need to talk and to know that she isn't alone in wanting her sibling to help her out at a very crucial time in her life. That's a completely normal reaction. It's so good to see so many people offering their help to a stranger, it's restored my faith inhumanity. OP, I don't think I can help as I don't live in the UK but you and your family are in my thoughts.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 29-Jul-13 15:05:07

OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this and your family are being so useless. I'm in Buckinghamshire and more than happy to help out in whatever way I can if you're nearby. I was CRB checked though it's expired now.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 29-Jul-13 15:14:37

I'm so sorry, OP.

I'd do this for a stranger too and I don't understand why your sister is behaving as she is.

as for 'never speaking to her again', well, maybe that will continue to be how you feel, but I agree with the 'no rash decisions' advice above.

dubstarr73 Mon 29-Jul-13 15:16:31
Lilicat1013 Mon 29-Jul-13 15:25:49

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LookMaw Mon 29-Jul-13 15:29:22

Just read this thread and am so sorry OP.

Am from Sussex, a HCP and fully CRB checked. If there's anything at all I can do for your family ( even if it's just to take the kids to the park for the afternoon) please please please don't hesitate to PM me.

thefuturesnotourstosee Mon 29-Jul-13 15:33:24

OP I've been thinking of you and your family and hoping and praying that your little DS pulls through.

Please don't be put off by one attack the vast majority of the community on here only want to help

LaurenSquealer Mon 29-Jul-13 15:57:22

Thinking of you HDEE, hoping for good news x

Ezio Mon 29-Jul-13 16:24:53

OP im so sorry you couldnt rely on who should be there, you and your son are in my thoughts,

Im in Essex, i've been crb checked before, and i'd bring my DD she loves playing with kids no matter who they are.

Ruprekt Mon 29-Jul-13 20:58:15


HaveTeaWillSurvive Mon 29-Jul-13 21:43:43

Been thinking of you all day, hope you're holding on in there. <hugs>

Xihha Mon 29-Jul-13 21:54:51

HDEE, hope you re ok and that ds pulls through. I know the messages are probably of very little comfort to you right now but there are loads of people thinking of you and hoping for the best. Like so many others on here, I'm happy to do anything i can to help, I'm in Kent and have been CRB checked too. x

CheshirePanda Mon 29-Jul-13 22:10:34

I wanted to add my best wishes to the many already sent. I am thinking of you and your little baby and hoping things are improving. You are completely justified in being hurt, angry and nauseated by your sister's behaviour. Warmest wishes xx

Wereonourway Mon 29-Jul-13 22:25:48

Another one offering help op, I'm in the north east, I have 2 weeks off work and can do anything you need. Washing/ironing/helping with kids, bring supplies to hospital, anything you need at all.

Thinking of you and your beautiful boy and hoping he pulls through.


OhWouldYouJust Mon 29-Jul-13 22:35:42


an other offer of help, I'm in the west midlands and can offer any help or support if there is anything I can do please pm me.

Praying for you and your beautiful boy. xxxx

HeffalumpTheFlump Mon 29-Jul-13 22:46:14

Another one sending all the best wishes in the world your way op. I haven't read the whole thread, so don't know what was said that was deleted, but please ignore any cruel words, some people are just sick in the head. I'm sure every person in their right mind is thinking of you, praying for you and hoping with all their hearts that your little man pulls through. You couldn't be any further from unreasonable, I just wish you were getting more support from your loved ones.

Stay strong, congratulations on the birth of your little boy. flowers

LittleBearPad Mon 29-Jul-13 22:57:38

Thinking of and praying for you and your lovely litte boy. Congratulations on your son. X

dollyindub Mon 29-Jul-13 23:48:13

Thinking of you, your family and your precious boy xx

thebody Tue 30-Jul-13 00:02:44

very concerned op. xxxx

Congratulations on the birth of your son, OP. I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. Do you want to tell us about him at all? His name, or how gorgeous he is? Please don't feel that you have to if you don't want to though.

YANBU at all to be angry with your sister. You badly need her, she should be there for you.

On the off chance that you are anywhere near Dublin, I would be happy to help you in any way I can. You and your son will be in my thoughts. Best of luck.

Angloamerican Tue 30-Jul-13 03:13:51

I have been thinking of you since you posted, and I am praying for you and your son.

I don't have the words for how despicable I find your sister's behaviour to be. I hope you have other people who can be a support to you. God bless.

HDEE Tue 30-Jul-13 03:42:20

I'm sorry I disappeared, Internet access is patchy at best at the hospital, and overnight seems to disappear completely.

We have sorted overnights now. A neighbour is going come in at night in an emergency and sit with the children until my dad and sister arrive. My fury and upset has passed, I still don't understand her, but really don't have the energy to waste dwelling on it now.

Unfortunately, a repeat head scan yesterday shows the bleeding has spread. It is now grade IV on both sides of the brain, with bleeding affecting the actual brain matter.

The first dr was very negative. She told us brain damage would be extensive, he will need life-long care, possibly have epilepsy, never learn to sit, or walk or talk...

The second dr agreed that it is a grade IV, serious bleed, but made it sound like we may have hope if we just keep an eye on the scans over the coming days.

We thought that once such extensive bleeds had been diagnosed, it would be our choice as to whether intensive care continues, but that isn't the case. While he is stable, which he is at the moment, his care won't change. Only if his condition worsens, will the drs discuss not increasing his support.

I am home for the night. My two older children (10 & 12) have been away camping so didnt even know their brother had born until yesterday. I wanted to come home and be the one to tell them that George probably will die. The older ones will be coming to meet their brother today. I want him to be real to them, not just a baby in some pictures. I want baby to know that everyone loves him, and we've all talked about him for weeks, and he's as much a part of our family as any of our children.

It's so hard because he looks amazing. His tummy was less swollen, his arms and legs weren't swollen yesterday, his oxygen needs had decreased. His little arms and legs wave all over, and he grasps hold of the ventilator tubing. He had his fingers by his mouth yesterday and was making sucking movements. My heart keeps telling me that if he is still doing all those baby things, how can he be so badly broken? I don't want him to suffer, or have a life of pain. I don't want this to drag on for weeks or months or years and he dies anyway.

Thank you everyone for your kind messages of support. As of morning I will be back at the hospital and will be there with baby til the end, whenever he chooses that may be. I wish you could all see him. He is so beautiful and has put up such a brave fight.

DaleyBump Tue 30-Jul-13 03:46:34

Oh HDEE. My heart absolutely goes out to you and your little boy. I have no words, only that hopefully his scans improve and he pulls though. He sounds like a wee fighter. Huge unmn hugs and flowers, you'll be in my thoughts. Xx

HDEE Thinking of you and your family. and praying for the best. ((hugs))

EatYourCrusts Tue 30-Jul-13 04:02:43

Thinking of you and your family.

garlicagain Tue 30-Jul-13 04:11:09

My thoughts and good wishes, too. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Oh, HDEE, you and your little George will be in my thoughts. He sounds like a gorgeous, brave little boy. This must be so very difficult for you. I don't know what else to say, except that we will always be here for you, on MN.

You say that you want him to be real to your other children. He will always, always be real to them. And to you. Your baby George will know that you all love him dearly.

When you are ready to post on here, there will be so much support waiting for you.

GingerBlondecat Tue 30-Jul-13 05:10:15

I want to offer you hope, friends child had similar, and apart from some language delays, he's come good. And the speach is teachable and correctable.

More ((((((((((((((((Soft Hugs))))))))))))))) <3

VegasIsBest Tue 30-Jul-13 05:25:05

Thinking of you, George and your family. Hope things go as well as possible for you all.

Plomino Tue 30-Jul-13 05:25:19

Oh HDEE . Sending ALL of my positive wishes to you and your lovely family right now . I cannot begin to imagine how very very tired you must be .

shadows says it all . Whatever you need , whenever you need it , we're here .

PistachioTruffle Tue 30-Jul-13 05:36:39

Thinking of you all HDEEl flowers

highlandbird Tue 30-Jul-13 05:47:32

I can't begin to imagine what you are going through but my thoughts are with you and your family, and of course, with George, stay strong little man.

LittleEsme Tue 30-Jul-13 05:48:18

I'm praying for George, HDEE.
Sending you all strength.

Thinking of you, your family and little George thanks

prissyenglisharriviste Tue 30-Jul-13 06:04:41

Congratulations on the birth of your son, HDEE.

Dd2 wasn't expected to survive, and later we were told she wouldn't walk or talk.

She is a strapping 9yo now. She still has cerebral palsy, but skis, swims, is determined to compete in the Paralympics, and has an iq of 142 (higher than her paediatrician lol). She intends to be a lawyer (with publishing fiction on the side ;-) - she sent her first manuscript to the publishers last month.)

No one knows what the years have in store for you and your son, but I wish you the very best of luck xx (and come and join us on the cp threads as he gets stronger xx)

Don't fret about your sister, honestly. I had toddlers at home, and went home myself quite early - combining childcare, SCBU, and a dh working ft is a nightmare. We lived in Glasgow with all of our family in the south of England. You'll probably find out that your dh told her to go home as he could cope, or it was all a huge misunderstanding. No point in dwelling on it anyway.

Sending you and your wee man health and strength.

Gullygirl Tue 30-Jul-13 06:09:30

HDEE, I just wanted to say that you and little George have been in my thoughts.
Sending you all my very best wishes.

Thinking of you HDEE

I just wondered if might be a good idea? We're members as we have no family nearby - they can find you CRB-checked babysitters (mostly nursery nurses, childminders and nurses) with very little notice. I know you've got your neighbour now but I imagine you won't want to call on her the way you'd call on family (sorry about your sister not stepping up sad)

SlouchingPanda Tue 30-Jul-13 06:27:17

Congratulations on the birth of your son, and sorry to hear about the difficulties with your sister.

Forgive me if this has already been mentioned as I haven't read all 11 pages, but one of the ladies from our 'Due in July' thread gave birth to a very premature baby boy just over 100 days ago. Her story is here. I thought it might help to read about someone going through similar, but feel free to ignore me if it wouldn't.

Thinking of you and your son.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 30-Jul-13 06:34:22

Just read this, so sorry about your darling baby being so sick, you and DH have been through hell, but little George, he sounds like a fighter, sending you all love and prayers.

As for your sister! It's all been said but how very hurtful, I can't understand people sometimes.

skinoncustard Tue 30-Jul-13 06:53:53

Keep fighting wee man . Love to your family. Xxx

melmo26 Tue 30-Jul-13 07:13:14

HDEE little George sounds like a big fighter. He made it through the night even though the docs said he wouldn't. He may keep fighting. His brother's and sisters will love him already, and more so now that he is poorly.
Our dd4 was in nicu sedated with swelling on the brain caused by a stroke. She fought her battle and pulled through. She is now 4 months, a bit slow in development but getting there.her sisters are so sweet with her.
Stay strong and positive. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

diddl Tue 30-Jul-13 07:28:28

Thinking of you all.

MoominsYonisAreScary Tue 30-Jul-13 07:33:44

He sounds lovely, thinking of you and your family x

thepixiefrog Tue 30-Jul-13 07:35:14

Much love to you and your

danielswifetobe Tue 30-Jul-13 07:56:48

Sending love to you and your family xxx

MammaTJ Tue 30-Jul-13 08:03:48

What a brave little fighter George is.

MrsDeVere Tue 30-Jul-13 08:08:19

George x

Cherriesarelovely Tue 30-Jul-13 08:13:14

Your little George sounds like a beautiful boy x I'm thinking of you and your family x

Cuddlydragon Tue 30-Jul-13 08:15:20

George sounds like a fighter. I wish you and your children all the love and strength to cope with this awful time. I'll keep George in my prayers, as others have said it doesn't sound hopeless and I know your little one will fight hard to come through this. X

tholeon Tue 30-Jul-13 08:39:55

Dear little boy. Am in surrey and crb checked if any use. X

If you're by any chance in the JR I can come along to be with you and George if you want, or bring you any bits you need.

wishing you and your whole family the very best of luck x

ajandjjmum Tue 30-Jul-13 08:46:42

Thinking of you OP, baby George and the rest of your family.

Good luck and you, your family and George are in my thoughts. He sounds like a completely adorable fighter.

Your last post brought tears to my eyes.
George sounds like an incredible and beautiful boy.
Sending best wishes and hope thanks

MissStrawberry Tue 30-Jul-13 09:01:39

Your latest post was just so moving. I can feel the love you have for George coming through your words. I think you are right to keep the hope going. Sometimes doctors are wrong and George hasn't read the book about what he is meant to be doing after being born so prematurely.

Will be thinking of you all.

Caboodle Tue 30-Jul-13 09:06:19

HDEE, hearing how strong and brave your lovely little boy is made me smile. Thinking of you and sending my love.

CunningAtBothEnds Tue 30-Jul-13 09:08:27

Praying for gorgeous George, i believe in miracles x

SamHamwidge Tue 30-Jul-13 09:08:54

Thinking of you and George and hoping and praying he pulls through. X x

CatelynStark Tue 30-Jul-13 09:11:57

I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. Sending positive vibes to you and your family xxx

bumbleymummy Tue 30-Jul-13 09:12:03

Thinking of you all. Xo

SlightlyItchyBraStrap Tue 30-Jul-13 09:14:21

Am down under so can offer no practical help, but am thinking of you and your family. I hope that baby George pulls through.

5madthings Tue 30-Jul-13 09:18:53

hdee thankyou for sharing and telling us about little George,he certainly sounds like he a fighting personality already! sending you all much love and strength.

mynameisslimshady Tue 30-Jul-13 09:19:55

Sending love and strength to little George and his amazing family xx

proudmum74 Tue 30-Jul-13 09:23:08

HDEE this is such a moving thread that I didn't want to just read & run. I was in a similar position when DD was born due to complications at birth, she needed to be in SCBU & for the first week there was a real risk that she wouldn't survive. Whilst the rest of the family dropped everything to rush to the hospital to meet DD, my twin phoned to say it wasn't convenient for her & she'd come to see her in 2 weeks. This was despite the fact that i'd told her DD was not expected to survive the night.

Thankfully, like George, DD is a fighter & pulled through against the odds, but if I'm honest I still haven't completely forgiven my sister 3 years later, we still speak, but our relationship will never be the same again.

Sending you lots of love & hugs to get through the next few weeks.

VulvaVoom Tue 30-Jul-13 09:32:12

Come on George, we're all rooting for you.

HDEE, you and your family and little George will be in my thoughts.

I'm not religious but I still pray to whoever in these situations that things will work out. I really hope they do xx

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 30-Jul-13 09:37:05

I don't know what to say.

I'll just send you and George and your whole family love and hope.


UnexpectedStepmum Tue 30-Jul-13 09:47:02

HDEE I haven't stopped thinking about you and your little one, thank you for letting us know how he is. I am praying for him and you too, if there is any help any of us can give you do let us know. Keep being positive.

JassyRadlett Tue 30-Jul-13 09:50:38

HDEE, I've been thinking of you and your family since you posted. Sending you strength and hope.

peachactiviaminge Tue 30-Jul-13 10:00:09

HDEE I hope this message finds you all well I expect little George is indeed beautiful. Never give up hope you're in my thoughts and my prayers. xx

Thinking of you and beautiful George. xx

thebody Tue 30-Jul-13 10:06:29

thoughts with you all xxxxxx

My thoughts are with you x

hurricanewyn Tue 30-Jul-13 10:23:16

HDEE - congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby George.

My thoughts are with all of you & I'm praying for a positive outcome for George.

cottoncandy Tue 30-Jul-13 10:24:04

Congratulations on the birth of your son!
Thinking of you all, especially little baby George.

DreamingOfTheMaldives Tue 30-Jul-13 10:27:41

George sounds adorable. Sending love and hope to him and to all of you x

OrangeJuiceSandwich Tue 30-Jul-13 10:30:24

Ds2 is 13 days old and reading your update, HDEE, has just made me cry and hold him so tight.

I really will pray that little George will pull through, I cannot imagine what you are going through. I know exactly what you mean about wanting him to be real to people. DH's Grandmother is very poorly and I'm desperate for her to meet DS2 as I want him to have existed in her world, if only for a short time.

Everything is crossed for your boy.

Coconutty Tue 30-Jul-13 10:41:08

Oh HDEE, you sound like you are being so strong. Sending lots of love to George and to you all. xxx

peachypips Tue 30-Jul-13 11:55:50

Love to all of you. In Devon if any use xx

trincomalee Tue 30-Jul-13 12:01:07

Best wishes to you and your family, HDEE, especially baby George. xx flowers

TalkativeJim Tue 30-Jul-13 12:08:08

He sounds amazing, OP. Sending you very best wishes and vibes for George to pull through. Please let us know how he does, I will be thinking of you all x

Belchica Tue 30-Jul-13 12:16:54

OP, thinking of you and your gorgeous little George x

Rollermum Tue 30-Jul-13 12:18:12

Thinking of you and your family today and all the very best wishes to baby George x

Tiredmumno1 Tue 30-Jul-13 12:22:06

Been thinking of you all, sending strength and praying for your beautiful little boy George xxx

starfishmummy Tue 30-Jul-13 12:36:31

HDEE thinking of you all.

I am another Mum with a child who was expected to die, but these children do find the strength to overcome the most dreadful things. (mine is now 15)

muminthecity Tue 30-Jul-13 12:40:41

I'm thinking of you too HDEE, and of course your wonderful little George. Sending you both love and strength thanks

dubstarr73 Tue 30-Jul-13 12:55:09

Oh HDEE what a beautiful post sending hugs and kisses to little George who sounds amazing.Hope and pray things do turn around for you.

Charleymouse Tue 30-Jul-13 12:57:42

Congratulations on the birth of baby George. Hoping and praying for you all. Much love

rubberrings Tue 30-Jul-13 13:29:03

Thinking of you all and in particular George,what a lovely boy he sounds!
Whatever happens he knows he is loved,cared for and safe with his family.
And you know that there are a multitude of people willing him on and sending him and your family positive thoughts

Thank you so much for updating us.
Although you made me cry at work.
I have no words as I simply cannot begin to understand what you are going through.
But sending love and hugs and lots of prayers to you, George and your lovely family.

Sparklyboots Tue 30-Jul-13 14:07:06

Good luck to your beautiful boy HDEE. XXX

HHH3 Tue 30-Jul-13 14:17:44

Thinking of you all thanks

haggisandneeps Tue 30-Jul-13 14:36:01

Congratulations on the birth of baby George. Thinking of you all xx

DuchessFanny Tue 30-Jul-13 15:16:37

Oh your latest post made me cry and smile ! Love his name, love that he's a little fighter and so pleased you have some more support !
If you're up to it please continue to keep us posted, I think there's many of us here who have taken your baby boy to heart !

Chiggers Tue 30-Jul-13 15:18:59

Hi HDEE. It sounds like your wee man is a fighter smile, but he's in good hands and there's nothing much you can do except be at his side and talk to him. There's a lot to be said about the encouragement preemie babies get from their mothers voice. Keep talking to him, he needs to hear that you're there with him smile. You also need to look after yourself too. Your son is in good hands and they can alert you if his condition takes a dive.

Fedupnagging Tue 30-Jul-13 15:33:31

Sorry you and your family are going through this HDEE.


Praying for beautiful little George and for strength for you and your family to face whatever comes. XXX

Praying for beautiful little George and for strength for you and your family to face whatever comes. XXX

Pozzled Tue 30-Jul-13 15:55:33

Thinking of you, your DH and family, and of course little George. He sounds like an amazing little fighter. You must be very proud of him.

SirBoobAlot Tue 30-Jul-13 19:20:57

Thinking of you all. xx

enormouse Tue 30-Jul-13 19:45:56

All my love to you and your family and little George x

WeAreSix Tue 30-Jul-13 19:48:05

Willing baby George to keep fighting and sending love to all his family.


deleted203 Tue 30-Jul-13 20:47:54

Thinking of you and your family. Much, much love to baby George.

chinam Tue 30-Jul-13 20:57:17

Praying four your sweet little boy xx

Moxiegirl Tue 30-Jul-13 21:01:24

Thinking of your family and your lovely little George x

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Tue 30-Jul-13 21:06:20


mittensthekitten Tue 30-Jul-13 21:06:37

Thinking of you and your sweet baby boy. xxxx

clippityclop Tue 30-Jul-13 21:12:42

Thoughts and prayers with you here tonight too.x

MrsMcGregor Tue 30-Jul-13 21:15:29

Thinking of you and your precious little boy.

Thinking of Baby George xxxx

JumpingJetFlash Tue 30-Jul-13 21:36:58

Didn't want to read and run - thinking of your gorgeous George and you all x

Lackedpunchesforever Tue 30-Jul-13 21:44:21

Congratulations on the birth of little George. He sounds amazing smile

scratchandsniff Tue 30-Jul-13 21:46:17

Have just read your thread - thinking of you, your family and of course of little George. X

AudrinaAdare Tue 30-Jul-13 21:49:45

Congratulations to you and welcome to baby George! All our love, thoughts and prayers are with you x

dawnpreview Tue 30-Jul-13 21:53:30

Thinking of you and your family, and sending positive thoughts to baby George x

BreeWannabe Tue 30-Jul-13 21:57:13

Thinking of and praying for you and your family xxx

ReindeerBollocks Tue 30-Jul-13 22:00:35

Congratulations on the birth of George. May he continue to fight.

Hope your older DC enjoyed meeting their baby brother.

Sending lots of positive thoughts for you all x

McNewPants2013 Tue 30-Jul-13 22:03:55

Thinking of you.

Thinking of you and your family.

Keep strong x

Manchesterhistorygirl Tue 30-Jul-13 23:16:40

Thinking of you and all of your family and sending my special love to baby George. Xx

LeGavrOrf Tue 30-Jul-13 23:24:31

Thinking of you and your family and little baby George.

I hope a miracle happens for you all. Dear god you are so brave.

josiejay Tue 30-Jul-13 23:30:31

Thinking of you and hoping for you xx

RubyrooUK Wed 31-Jul-13 08:24:51

Thinking of you and baby George. X

TangfasticMrFoxalastic Wed 31-Jul-13 08:54:15

Thinking of you and your brave little fighter x

Hippymama Wed 31-Jul-13 09:33:55

George sounds like a little fighter. Thinking of you and your family and hoping for your miracle xxx

Coconutty Wed 31-Jul-13 09:36:29

How is George this morning, HDEE? Xx

FannyMcNally Wed 31-Jul-13 09:41:16

Thinking of you all this morning x

Caboodle Wed 31-Jul-13 19:44:20

Sending all my love to you and baby George today x

IrisWildthyme Wed 31-Jul-13 21:12:52

Wishing you and George all the strength you need to get through whatever lies ahead.

Babygirlpw Wed 31-Jul-13 21:19:34

Thinking of you all and sending positive thoughts and strength. Baby George sounds amazing.x

lunar1 Wed 31-Jul-13 21:46:57

Thinking of you

Thinking of you, you family and wee George today. XX

notanyanymore Thu 01-Aug-13 01:49:09

HDEE I'm not usually one for prayer but have been praying every night for George, you and the rest of your family.

TravellingLemon Thu 01-Aug-13 05:56:03

Thinking of you and your family. Lots of love to little George.

peachactiviaminge Thu 01-Aug-13 06:57:32

Still thinking of you all and praying that little George stays strong. Love hope and strength to you all. xx

Caboodle Thu 01-Aug-13 08:01:00

Hoping today brings the best news for you and baby George. Sending lots of love x

bumbleymummy Thu 01-Aug-13 08:05:34

Thinking of you and baby George. X

Isabeller Thu 01-Aug-13 08:13:14

Thinking of you & yours xx

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 01-Aug-13 09:53:52

In my thoughts x

10storeylovesong Thu 01-Aug-13 09:57:58

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son.

I've recently spent 9 weeks in NICU with my little boy, and know what an incredibly daunting place they are. Sometimes I would dream about machines beeping, and spent half my time watching the numbers on the monitors, waiting for the next dsat or brady, my heart sinking every time. Its so hard, just wanting to hold your baby and tell them everything will be ok and not being able to. At the risk of sounding a bitch, I used to hate it every time someone told me a tale about someone they knew who was prem and is now the biggest / strongest / cleverest in their class.,, as that wasn't my little boy.

These little baby's are incredibly resilient though, and often do things the doctors tell us they won't be able to. George has already proven he's a fighter.

The ward can be an incredibly lonely place, especially if your baby is the smallest and sickest. I used to take my phone and go to another room to express just so I could text / mumsnet. Please don't ever feel guilty for that. Feel free to pm me if you ever need to chat, have any questions or just want a rant.

Thinking of and praying for you all.

Tiredmumno1 Fri 02-Aug-13 02:17:01

Just letting you know, I'm still thinking of all of you x

bragmatic Fri 02-Aug-13 02:30:09

I'm so sorry. I wish the best for your little one.

LostLion Fri 02-Aug-13 02:39:22

your such a strong lady OP....wishing you and your beautiful boy all the best

IneedAyoniNickname Fri 02-Aug-13 03:03:43

Another person adding congratulations, love, hugs, prayers and good wishes.

Am near the rbh if you need any real life support flowers

MrsKoala Fri 02-Aug-13 05:03:55

I am thinking of you all. He sounds like a beautiful little boy.

212VIP Fri 02-Aug-13 07:40:37

How's things HDEE?
Haven't heard from you since Tuesday. Hope you're busy looking after that little man of yours. Lots of love xxxx

Caboodle Fri 02-Aug-13 09:52:50

Thinking of you all today x

evelynj Fri 02-Aug-13 10:00:17

Congratulations & thank you for your honesty- that was a really moving post. Thinking of you & your family today & trusting you find strength to get through day by day x

Coconutty Fri 02-Aug-13 10:23:44

Sending lots of love you you today xx

my2centsis Sat 03-Aug-13 07:58:03

How are you all op? Thinking of you

peachactiviaminge Sat 03-Aug-13 10:21:58

Still here and still thinking of you and your beautiful boy HDEE x

Coconutty Tue 06-Aug-13 09:22:24

How's baby George getting on HDEE?

NatashaBee Thu 08-Aug-13 02:14:20

Hope all is going OK, OP.

moreyear Thu 08-Aug-13 03:29:12

You and your beautiful baby George are so very much in my thoughts HDEE.

busymum1 Thu 08-Aug-13 07:35:14

How are things going HDEE? Hope you and your family are well.

dubstarr73 Thu 08-Aug-13 10:02:16

Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.Hope things are getting better flowers

melika Thu 08-Aug-13 10:13:22


facedontfit Thu 08-Aug-13 10:32:35

flowers Thinking of your family.

WooWooSister Thu 08-Aug-13 11:28:24

Sending you lots of love and strength thanks xx

How are you OP? been thinking about you and your family all week.

212VIP Sun 11-Aug-13 22:10:52

How's things OP?

UnexpectedStepmum Sun 11-Aug-13 22:42:57

Also still thinking of you and wishing you and George the best.

nannynewo Sun 11-Aug-13 23:06:43

sending lots of love. I hope everything is okay. Been thinking about you a lot. flowers

helenthemadex Sun 11-Aug-13 23:40:17

thinking of you and George

megsmouse Mon 12-Aug-13 00:02:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KeatsiePie Mon 12-Aug-13 02:28:24

HDEE I am so, so sorry. I read your last update with tears in my eyes. I'll be praying for your baby and for all of you.

Your sister's behavior was beyond the pale, but I hope you can forget it for now. I hope you're okay.

EricNorthmansFangbanger Mon 12-Aug-13 03:10:58

thanks I am so sorry to hear that George is so poorly. I hope that he is OK and still fighting. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.

jumpingpillows Mon 12-Aug-13 06:07:44


TroublesomeEx Mon 12-Aug-13 07:02:34

I have missed this thread until now. sad

Congratulations on the birth of little George flowers flowers

I'll be thinking of you and your family and sending love and hope to you all.


peachactiviaminge Mon 12-Aug-13 07:07:23

Was just thinking of you both last night hope you are all well xxx

katydid02 Mon 12-Aug-13 07:11:30

Keeping you all in my thoughts. I hope you are doing as well as you can in the circumstances.

Thinking of you and your family, HDEE.

I am hoping that minimal amount of damage is present.

My partner was born at 24 weeks in the 80s. Although he didn't have any brain bleeds he weighed 1lb and was on a ventilator on and off for the first 3 months of his life.

I am pleased to say that he is a 5''10', muscular (with a bit of extra weight, but nothing extra ordinary), blind but otherwise absolutely fine. Things that are amazing can happen. No matter what though he'll always be your son and he'll be amazing in his own right and you'll love him unconditionally.

I hope your sister learns to be less self absorbed in the future.

ProjectGainsborough Mon 12-Aug-13 18:51:06

Thinking of you all and send love and strength xxx

nowwhere Mon 12-Aug-13 21:04:17

Prayers to you all

londone17 Mon 12-Aug-13 21:22:13

Good luck lovely.

TattyDevine Mon 12-Aug-13 21:37:48

Ah this breaks me it does. Thoughts etc...xx

Turniptwirl Mon 12-Aug-13 22:56:44

Hope you and little George and family are doing well x

Fairdene Mon 12-Aug-13 23:04:10

Very sympathetic indeed to your situation probably especially as I've been in it myself, but I just can't see that your sister deserves some of the names she's been called on this thread - she has done a good deal to help. Some sisters would do nothing at all; credit where it's due.

RipRC Mon 12-Aug-13 23:26:03

Fairdei I opened this thread expecting to read it and tell the op she was been very unreasonable, less than half way through the post my opinion completely changed.
I personally can not imagine doing everything I possibly could to make my sisters life a little easier if she were in similar circumstances, she wouldn't even have to ask.
How did you reach the opinion that she already did a lot, she minded one day

Any way best wishes to you and your family op wishing you all the best.

Thinking of your family. flowers

I am going to go and light a candle, and say a wee prayer for George right now.

my2centsis Thu 22-Aug-13 09:04:09

I hope one day you will update the thread op as we are all thinking of you, would be nice if you could let us no

212VIP Sun 08-Sep-13 10:32:21


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