to think there should be a forum where things can be discussed without having to be AIBU about stuff?

(61 Posts)
kim147 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:00:26

So where do you post where you just want a discussion without having to be unreasonable about it?

I know there's loads of forums on here - Royalty etc but they just seem like backwaters and things get lost on there.

Chat's great - but moves quickly.

And AIBU is quite hostile.

In RL - you can have discussions about stuff without having to take a side.

AIBU to think some sort of general discussion forum would be good without the need for all those obscure forums?

Or was that tried and people didn't like it?

ZillionChocolate Sun 28-Jul-13 10:04:28

Yabu.

In RL if you barge into an established conversation and change the subject, that's rude.

FruOla Sun 28-Jul-13 10:05:30

Well, Chat is the obvious place. There's Other Subjects too www.mumsnet.com/Talk/other_subjects, but I'm not sure how many people go directly there?

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 10:07:42

I don't understand your comment Zillion.
Op didn't talk about changing the subject.

I agree but aibu is only huge because people like it. People apparently want t argue more than chat grin

I use chat to post in most of the time but everything gets shoe horned into so there is little choice really.

kim147 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:07:57

Chat's just chat. It's nice but things get lost in there and it's mainly inane stuff.

If you look at other forums on here, some get a post a week if that.

AIBU is great as people have some very good and in depth discussions on here.

But there's been times I'd like to start a discussion but it's more along the lines of "Have you seen / heard this?" or "Look at this stuff" where I haven't really got an AIBU for.

Dackyduddles Sun 28-Jul-13 10:09:36

Have you seen etc is chat surely?

kim147 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:11:04

And I am slightly annoyed about my thread being moved elsewhere as a good discussion could have developed around the research being done on it - I just hadn't formed an opinion but I thought it was interesting.

Now it's got lost in the news section.

I thought about posting it in chat but it would have vanished in there.

kim147 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:12:04

For me "Chat" is just friendy chit chat. Nothing too serious.

AIBU is where you get the good discussions.

Eyesunderarock Sun 28-Jul-13 10:15:47

'In the News' is useful.
I think it's a question of what the content is as to where to post. I get infuriated when AIBU is used to make totally inane and rhetorical points.
'AIBU to be upset at this poor little puppy dog being used as a football?'
Who is going to say yes, YABU?

kim147 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:21:44

I think we need Serious chat and inane chat grin

There is a lot of knowledge and experience on MN and I've loved some of the discussions.

But sometimes you want a discussion as opposed to a bunfight argument.

Sparklingbrook Sun 28-Jul-13 10:25:55

We need a 'Talking Bollocks' Topic for sure. I would own that topic. grin

MardyBra Sun 28-Jul-13 10:25:56

Inane chat for me then. grin

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:27:58

I think it's just the nature of the beast. There's plenty of topics, definitely don't think we need any more. It's just that AIBU and Chat are the most popular.

I personally don't search using topics though, just Active Convos and TIO so I end up bumbling in and out of all sorts!

Sparklingbrook Sun 28-Jul-13 10:28:39

That's what I do Randall. I don't go in via a topic at all.

MardyBra Sun 28-Jul-13 10:29:05
MardyBra Sun 28-Jul-13 10:32:54

Totally agree with the Actve Convos approach. Then you can hide any topics you don't want to see and get an eclectic mix of interesting threads. It works until someone does a false Aibu like "AIBU to ask you about weaning/breastfeeding/high chairs/buggies/dog training/camping?" ( all topics I have hidden).

MardyBra Sun 28-Jul-13 10:33:44

There is WWYD but it's like a bloody morgue in there.

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:35:58

I didn't know there was any other was tbh, until I saw people talking about what topics they go into! There was people saying "well, I'm interested in politics so I look in there" etc. I felt a bit bad, I've never thought about it that deeply, I just sort of wander around mindlessly and chime in when I get the urge blush

Although a Talking Bollocks section sounds right up my street grin

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:36:44

*was any other WAY.

MardyBra Sun 28-Jul-13 10:38:23

I think I could rattle off a whole of contenders for permanent residence in Talking Bollocks.

mystaplerisevil Sun 28-Jul-13 10:38:41

i used to post in other subjects quite alot, it was nice in there

aibu has just taken over mn now

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 10:38:50

God yes, a talking bollocks section!

I use active convos too. But that's how I became embroiled in the birth mother fight in Step Parenting and apparently became the spokesperson for foul mouthed people with no imagination. Or summat.

Iwantmybed Sun 28-Jul-13 10:42:39

I'd like an entitled section. I love reading about bridezillas and mumzillas and shitty friends then appear on AIBU

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:45:47

Ooh Pag, you're so lairy!

Soz to kim for being a bit arsey on your other thread btw. It's awfully angry on here at the moment, I think it may have rubbed off on me for a minute blush

Rooners Sun 28-Jul-13 10:47:29

Well Kim I don't know how long you've been around for, but in the olden days when this was all fields, it was kind of as you say - I suppose a lot of stuff got posted in chat rather than aibu.

Then along came aibu and took over the whole ethos basically and it's never gone back.

I hate aibu.

Rooners Sun 28-Jul-13 10:48:29

Pag respect. I just looked on there, got as far as post 5, realised it had 337 posts and there were a lot of deletions and scarpered before I could say anything offensive.

Rooners Sun 28-Jul-13 10:49:33

The arrival of Aibu was like the point in time where Oasis played Glastonbury.

kim147 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:54:26

A few people use AIBU to ask a question:

Such as AIBU to ask what you think about poverty?

The correct response is

YABU / YANBU to ask me what I think.

But not discuss it.

I think I should do that - or is that just being pedantic grin

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:56:12

Gwan, be pedantic, then I can shout at you for that too wink

usualsuspect Sun 28-Jul-13 11:00:38

People start threads in AIBU saying 'posting for traffic'

So it kind of proves that some posters never post anywhere else.

I use the active convos style of mnetting though.

MrsDeVere Sun 28-Jul-13 11:06:43

I do that.
I do it for the oddest things.

its just so depressing when you post in another section and no-one answers.

It makes me sad sad

^^ see

lljkk Sun 28-Jul-13 11:16:47

People abuse AIBU by bringing up everything there, they should use other fora instead. It's their own fault if they get strong reactions, the question is AIBU, after all. I am confused why WWYD never took off, it's a great idea.

So Poverty: could go under Ethical living.
Bridezillas: relationships

And everything can still go under chat!

usualsuspect Sun 28-Jul-13 11:19:19

I don't think there is an answer,posters are always going to post where they will get the most replies and the fastest advice.

Nothing worse than starting a thread and getting no replies.

mrsjay Sun 28-Jul-13 11:22:41

id be in talking bollox chat then when im feeling a bit wild id move to inane chat grin. I think subjects get moved to the appropriate places on here so they don't get lost iyswim

mrsjay Sun 28-Jul-13 11:24:13

I am confused why WWYD never took off, it's a great idea.

me too I have always thought why don't people use that instead of AIBU for some of the posts as a lot of AIBU is a WWYD

ilovesooty Sun 28-Jul-13 11:29:08

Yes, like the new thread asking about breakdown cover.

In the news is quite good for any current affairs.

I really dislike AIBU. IMO it brings out the worst in people.

MardyBra Sun 28-Jul-13 11:33:45

And there's a bloody weaning thread just come up on active.

MardyBra Sun 28-Jul-13 11:35:56

How about a "polite debate" category. That would fulfill kim's requirements.

lljkk Sun 28-Jul-13 11:57:51

UKparents (dating myself now) had a debate section which was lots like AIBU. The good thing was that all the debate went in there, people were very civilised discussing things in other topic areas. If you wanted polite discussion the last place you stuck it was in their Debate section.

Maybe an "Exploring Ideas" section? (?"Polite Discussion", "Sharing Ideas"?) So then it's implicit in the title that it's sharing & exploring, not about debate or YABUs.

magimedi Sun 28-Jul-13 11:58:07

its just so depressing when you post in another section and no-one answers.

As a relative 'newbie' I think there are too many sections. When I lurked before I joined (to get a feel of the place) I found the whole of the forum quite hard to navigate round easily.

I also think it's a shame that there isn't more rigorous moving of topics from Chat & AIBU to the more relevant places.

Lora1982 Sun 28-Jul-13 12:09:23

Yanbu. I also hate when people post stuff thats clearly not an aibu. Like 'aibu to ask your opinion on this wallpaper' or 'aibu to ask you what clothes you wear if your a fatty in the swimming pool' YES YABU. I come aibu for aibus:-D

Sparklingbrook Sun 28-Jul-13 12:23:03

So MNHQ can we have a 'Talking Bollocks' topic? <reports own post>

aldiwhore Sun 28-Jul-13 12:27:10

I've never felt the need to take a side, I don't feel pressure to do so.

A lot of the time I can see a NBU in an AIBU post even if in general I think there is some U (or NU). confused

There are a few threads where I take a firm side one way or another but that is not due to pressure from the Forum.

Out of the whole of MN, it's this forum that I feel most happy and I am a natural fence sitter, I can often see both sides, I don't much think that unreasonable things are always unreasonable, and vice versa. Because that in itself is enough evidence that actually this is a good forum for discussion (and a forum can only ever be as balanced as it's users) I have to say YABU.

AnnabelleLee Sun 28-Jul-13 13:43:44

Everywhere else, thats where! Jaysus, how many forums do you need, there are like 100 already.

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 15:39:10

I agree with magimedi.
In spite of being responsible for one new topic I think there are too any now.
There shoud be a cull.

Talking bollocks
Relationship shite
Family shite
Education shite
Chat
Everything else
Fight club
Wtf.

Bereavement
SN

Sparklingbrook Sun 28-Jul-13 15:41:07

Can we split the Education?

State school shite
Private School shite

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 15:44:02

<ponders>

Possibly. But most of those would be in fight club surely?

We should have
'goady wankers and crap trolls'
Mnhq could put most of aibu in there some days

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 15:44:48

I think we are on to something <excited>

Quetzalcoatlus Sun 28-Jul-13 15:53:59

I'd really like a WTF topic, I like that.

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 16:04:52

I like that too.
It would be bridezilla, cafe incidents, people randomly talking about your arse at bus stops - all that stuff. It would be my second fav after Talking Bollocks.

Sparklingbrook Sun 28-Jul-13 16:14:28

Yes Pagwatch this is all very exciting. I think 'Talking Bollocks' would be my top 'go to' topic followed by 'WTF'. Perfect. grin

Ooh and a Boasty Topic.

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 16:16:12

Boasty would be brill.
No need for coy 'can I have a small boast...' stuff, just 'fuck yeah. My dc is a genius.FACT!'

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 16:34:23

My brilliant ideas never excite people as much as they do me.

I am creating the TalkingBollocks chat room in my head. All alone.

I am clearly not appreciated in my own lifetime.

kim147 Sun 28-Jul-13 17:12:17

MNHQ - are you listening?

I would love a WTF forum.

There's no unreasonableness about it.

I can see so much traffic.

Serious side - far too many forums (fora?)

Just keep it simple.

magimedi Sun 28-Jul-13 17:35:38

I am clearly not appreciated in my own lifetime.

A prophet is without honour...................... etc.

Yes, I so wish the amount of topics could be cut.

magimedi Sun 28-Jul-13 17:36:19

Pag there was meant to be a grin in there!

Pagwatch Sun 28-Jul-13 17:58:56

grin

I would love a talking bollocks section. It would be my natural home.

Aibu is generally too shot putty (meant shouty by autocorrect Is on the button there) for me

WTF for days when pmt is in charge

Amazeballs.

Ooh we would need a <klaxon> section too. For PA and sporners.

kim147 Mon 29-Jul-13 21:13:57

Apparently MNHQ might be revamping the topics.

Suggestions?

mrsjay Mon 29-Jul-13 21:16:49

bollox section it just has to be grin there is far t o many sections on here that just isn't used at all

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