Went ghetto at Disney. A naice middle class girl...

(197 Posts)
PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 07:18:50

like me. The shame. Spent just one (just one!) day at Disney on holidays in Florida recently - and still wasn't able to keep my "hold my earrings, kids" rage under wraps sad Last excitement of the day was a (actually v cool) live stunt show. Kids hyper, all excited, chatting to other kids around them on the bleachers we were sitting on. My DS (8) nattering to kid slightly in front of him, then v politely asked his mum if he'd swap with him (as in her son) as he couldn't really see the whole thing. She turned around, hmm'd haw'd, and v pointedly told him - without knowing my DH was listening - that yes, "I will move, but only because it's better for my son, and for you. Just so you know." And - and I swear I'm not usually this ragey but it's a long humid fucking day - and I did a full hand on hip, dramatic "UP KIDS, sit over here" glare, she gives me a "huh?!" (Imagine hand/hip firmness, perhaps a finger point yikes) "Well, it's MUCH better for them at this end isn't it?!! and we all KNOW you know all about that." DH thinks I was AIBU...

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 07:26:14

I don't know if you were unreasonable but it sounds like a dreadful idea to go to Disney in the first place. Whatever were you thinking? I'm sure you were right, in the end.

iwantavuvezela Sun 28-Jul-13 07:27:33

I'm not sure iIknow what happened ... What's ghetto in this, what's middle class, did your son move?

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit Sun 28-Jul-13 07:34:05

Did you necksnake? <has absolutely no idea what's going on>

currentbuns Sun 28-Jul-13 07:35:02

What is this incoherent babble?

aladdinsane Sun 28-Jul-13 07:36:13

For a 'naice middle class girl' you seem to have difficulties explaining events in a coherent manner

YoniMitchell Sun 28-Jul-13 07:36:21


50ShadesOfGreggs Sun 28-Jul-13 07:37:56

Huh? What actually happened? I don't get it.

NarkyNamechanger Sun 28-Jul-13 07:38:21

Have you had too much sun?

Yonihadtoask Sun 28-Jul-13 07:39:16

Was the other 'mutha' being sniffy with you because your DH was T-Rexing and she was Jealous rhat her DH cannot?

Euphemia Sun 28-Jul-13 07:39:42

I'm going to Disney in October and I'm a bit scared now. I don't think I'm hard enough. confused

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 07:40:53

Euphemia you could go for a practice run at Chessington.

I thought I had just got out of bed too early and hadn't woken up enough to understand the OP! Glad I'm not the only one grin

Vatta Sun 28-Jul-13 07:42:18

So.... Your son asked a stranger to move seats, so that he would have a better view of the show? And the stranger agreed, but you found her wording rude, so said something rude to her in return?

Did I get that right?

Cravingdairy Sun 28-Jul-13 07:42:22

Your son asked a stranger if he could have her son's seat because it was better and she agreed?

I can see why you would be furious confused

Onetwothreeoops Sun 28-Jul-13 07:42:22

Are you normally completely non confrontational in a reserved British way? Did you channel Jerry Springer guests?

In that heat and witnessing rudeness to my children I probably would have done the same grin

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 07:43:52

Did you write it wrong - it's my understanding you asked if the mum and her boy could swop places so the boy could see - but you wrote he instead of she at one point.

I don't understand a word of the OP. sad

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 07:46:40

I am tired sorry. Before I hear it, it's not a stealth boast unless turning up at Disney is de facto stealth confused. Basically: I was bitchy and made a noisy fuss (with full US talk show hand-on-hip no less) whilst also making kids stand up so they could sit somewhere else. DH says it was unnecessary, I say if you don't stand up for your kids they think people can speak to them like that. BTW: I am huge on good manners, and kids/people being respectful of each other... urgh.

MalcolmTuckersMum Sun 28-Jul-13 07:50:16

Jeeze. You MUST be tired.

[what's going on here] confused

TwasBrillig Sun 28-Jul-13 07:51:13

I'm still not sure why you had rage or what the other woman did wrong?

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 07:52:36

Yes, I can see it's rambling shite up there^ Sorry people!! OK, my DS asked the mum and her son to swap over as she's obviously much taller. He asked her v nicely and she was not v nice back. He is 8. The red mist (tm) descended on my part. I will drink a lot of water right now

Euphemia Sun 28-Jul-13 07:53:59

I thought it was just me. Woke up too early and none of the threads I've read have made sense. confused

Rosa Sun 28-Jul-13 07:56:36

Got it ..have another Pinot for attempting Disney in the summer holidays ..Hope you all saw it in the end..

Branleuse Sun 28-Jul-13 07:56:51

I still have no idea.

why were you having to stick up for your kids??

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 08:00:49

Branleuse It's ok. I didn't make such sense in the first part, and as me ol dad always said "when you're in a hole stop digging" smile

Jinty64 Sun 28-Jul-13 08:04:38

Have you been drinking?

TwasBrillig Sun 28-Jul-13 08:10:35

How was her agreeing to move not being nice? No reason she should and yet she still did. Very odd.

RobinSparkles Sun 28-Jul-13 08:10:43

S'ok, OP. Disney does give you "The Rage". It's the heat and the crowds and the never ending queues.

FannyMcNally Sun 28-Jul-13 08:11:48

So she thinks about your son's request and realises her son might possibly have a better view if she swaps seats with him, tells your son that she's moving because both of them will benefit (because why should she move if her son will have a poorer view) . All good so far. At that point a 'thank you' from you would have been the correct response. Not sure why you saw red.

Reality Sun 28-Jul-13 08:11:54

I have no idea what's going on.

NutcrackerFairy Sun 28-Jul-13 08:13:25

Sorry, I think actually your son sounds a bit precocious...

Does he normally ask complete strangers to do things for him rather than telling you he can't see and asking you to do something about it? Why should this woman move away from her own child and swap seats with yours? Sounds like she got the hump with him... is it possible that he wasn't being polite but rather a bit forward and demanding?

Tbh both you and your son sound a bit entitled to me....

And your OP makes very little sense.

Sheshelob Sun 28-Jul-13 08:15:15

"Ghetto"? confused

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman Sun 28-Jul-13 08:18:40

So what happened to your earrings?

<baffled by the whole thing>

Vivacia Sun 28-Jul-13 08:20:20

I'm starting to understand the seating thing (thanks to Fanny and Nutcracker). But, what's the "Ghetto" reference?

aladdinsane Sun 28-Jul-13 08:22:18

I agree with your DH - a big fuss about nothing
your child asks a stranger to move so he can see the show - so he was pretty rude
She agrees and you dont like her tone so you go off on one
Big fuss about nothing really. She may always talk like that and she did agree to move for your son

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 08:22:58

Nutcracker got it wrong. The boy didn't ask the mum to swap seats with him. He asked the boy and the mum to swap seats.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Sun 28-Jul-13 08:24:49

Couldn't you have swapped seats with your DS and done it that way?

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 08:25:39

God Pinot why do I not have any problem understanding any of it, except that you missed out an S here. v politely asked his mum if he'd swap with him

on the other hand it's possible I understand not all of it but none of it at all

Growlithe Sun 28-Jul-13 08:27:26

So the mum and the boy were going to swap seats with all of the OPs family? confused

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 08:27:54

Could your son have swapped with one of his own parents??

I'd have thought what a cheeky little sod tbh.

And not done it.

I expect she felt guilted into it because a child asked her.

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 08:32:20

OK, sorry to explain again - my DS asked her if the mum and her son would swap places with each other. They were sitting in front of the designated seating row, for say, wheelchair patons etc, which wasn't occupied. So my son asked her if she and her son would swap over with each other - he didn't want her seat fyi - so he would sit behind her son and not her, and get a better view. He and her son had been chatting for a while, having a laugh and I guess he thought that was ok. I would normally expect him to ask us if that was ok first. I get that it might seem he was being rude, or entitled. He's actually a dote, just so very excited by this show and he - honestly- politely asked if she wouldn't mind swapping round with her son, same seats, same row, so he could see all the action. He said thank you when she did swap, and I know I was the one who over reacted. It wasn't my finest moment. It wasn't hers either. (Hope this makes way more sense than the Pinot soaked first post!?!)

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 08:36:17

She from swapped with her own son. If I haven't managed to explain that coherently yet, I have to hand back my BA in English, Pinot or no sad

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 08:36:37

I don't think that there was anything wrong with her reaction.

She moved, but told him she thought he was rude.

Perhaps she shouldn't have moved at all?

Oh hang on, she needed have moved because you strangely huffed off!

NewAtThisMalarky Sun 28-Jul-13 08:40:54

I'm not sure it's obvious that she was much taller than her son. My son is taller than me.

Aside from that, I think your DH is right.

coco87 Sun 28-Jul-13 08:41:51

Why can't you just write it normally. You sound like you are drunk.

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 08:42:30

Hands crumbled my BA

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 08:43:59

Just Irish coco87

Growlithe Sun 28-Jul-13 08:45:05

Hope you don't mind a little bit of advice. You've spent a lot of money to get to Florida. I can see Disney isn't everyone's cup of tea, but your son seems to be really excited and enjoying himself, even chatting with the children round him. The shows there are really cool, the fireworks are amazing.

I'd try and keep a lid on your own feelings about the place and try to enjoy it for the sake of your DCs if I were you, or there was no point in going there to start of with.

fakebook Sun 28-Jul-13 08:46:38

But she still swapped... confused. Did you want her to do it ceremoniously with a garland of flowers and a hula dance for your son as she swapped seats and then kiss his feet at the end?

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 08:48:53

She was rude , i don't like people being rude to my children either. There's plenty of ways - like eg good idea, but how about you swap with your mum? or - sure why don't you two boys actually sit together? pr 'hey don't you have a good view, I'm sure we can fix that" etc etc etc etc etc on and on. There are plenty of ways of not making a child feel stupid, small and mean.

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 08:51:09

Oh Pinot, you make me larf!

I don't get it, I can't lie, I'm absolutely sure she deserved it though. Whatever it is.

Hope you had a nice holiday anyway, and I'll be sure to remember not to mess with you in the future girlfriend wink

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 08:51:48

Totally growlithe and as I said it wasn't my finest hour. I know that, I surprised myself, actually. I had my gob smacked, and I normally suck it up. Guess the "happiest place on earth" bring out the worst in me?!

meditrina Sun 28-Jul-13 08:54:47

But the mother is presumably an adult and one prepared to fit in with seating wishes of a stranger even when settled and a show about to start.

So the girl has to be the DC that OP's DS was talking to, for there doesn't seem to be mention of another child, male or female.

As the DC seems to have been nice to DS, I really don't see what the problem with the girl is.

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 08:56:22

ok now I'm confused. What girl?

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 08:58:51

Randall, who knew? Not my DH that's for sure shock Anyway, upon mature reflection, I do not want to teach my DCs (for sure the arsey DD6yr) that is the way to go.

sincitylover Sun 28-Jul-13 08:59:40

I get it! Original post was written in a humorous style (bit try too hard for my liking).

Many mc people I know look down on Disney and over intellectualise the Disney phenomenon rather than just accept it at face value (just as you would a pop song).

But then find themselves at Disney to please their kids but have to then excuse it away by saying they've gone all ghetto! OrJenny from the block!

I have learned that you can be a deep thinker whilst still embracing popular culture/tat and bling! No point coming over worthy about these things!

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 09:00:00

my judgement is, she was rude, you shouldn't have exploded, we are all better people in hindsight

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 09:00:36

No idea? Although you sound supportive meditrina so hop on board

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 09:02:35

tbh i thought you meant going to disney was going ghetto, not that your public display of pique was going ghetto

but I don't think you should use ghetto like that, there's something wrong with it

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 09:03:19

crumbled yes. I nearly over thank it there

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 09:05:41

I'm loving that you're 'entitled' grin

I think you're fierce.

Reality Sun 28-Jul-13 09:08:40

This isn't Pinot, by the way.

Just someone with a Pinot based name.

NarkyNamechanger Sun 28-Jul-13 09:10:05

Why didn't you and your DS just swp seats?

Putting your hand on your hip and telling your own children to move is ghetto?

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 09:11:03

Lol Randall If only I needed an a. lie detector or b. some sort of DNA...

TheRealFellatio Sun 28-Jul-13 09:11:46

I know it's not my Pinot as the writing style and the personality coming through is totally different but I bet plenty of people are confused and thing this is the other Pinot.

Well actually I think they are confused by this thread for all sorts of reasons. grin

TheRealFellatio Sun 28-Jul-13 09:12:07

think, not thing

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 09:13:32

I did think it was other Pinot tbh but it makes no odds. You still sound fierce!

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 09:14:49

Yes Reality' Amazingly there are others who like wine?!?

Pigsmummy Sun 28-Jul-13 09:18:30


bamboostalks Sun 28-Jul-13 09:18:56

But why didn't you swap with your ds so he was sitting behind her ds thereby avoiding all problems?

TheCuntingPigeon Sun 28-Jul-13 09:19:07


curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 09:20:34

Frankly, you lost any credibility you might have had with "went ghetto". What a ghastly turn of phrase!

<Interesting to see people bending themselves into all sorts of shapes to be on the OP's side because they've mistaken her for somebody else.......grin>

Growlithe Sun 28-Jul-13 09:24:14

Fairly clear for all to see that you like the wine, OP wink

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 09:29:24

Don't think anyone's doing that curlew, the whole thread is rambling nonsense so there really isn't a side to be on as far as I can see. I think it's funny, I like rambley threads that don't make sense.

(Loving the word 'ghastly' btw, makes you sound like someone from Malory Towers grin )

lougle Sun 28-Jul-13 09:30:08

I am so glad that was clarified, because it didn't sound like pinot at all confused

OP why couldn't you swap with your ds so that he had a better view?

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 09:32:26

Ghastly is as ghastly does wine

Pinupgirl Sun 28-Jul-13 09:34:10

Im not one to get all Po usually but I agree your use of the word Ghetto in this context is really off. Your ds was the one who was rude btw.

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 09:35:26

Oh I'm not sure you need any more wine!

Pinupgirl Sun 28-Jul-13 09:35:56

Im not one to get all Po usually but I agree your use of the word Ghetto in this context is really off. Your ds was the one who was rude btw.

Yup I'm with Curlew here

GoshAnneGorilla Sun 28-Jul-13 09:37:21

"Went ghetto" is a vile, nasty turn of phrase.

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 09:37:46

lougle not even going to tell you how relieved I am to hear that you're relieved

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 09:38:29

Why on earth was the child rude? If all he said was something like "I can't see very well, would you mind swapping seats with your son?" Unless that would have put the other woman's son behind somebody tall as well, I suppose!

<replace "ghastly" with racist, classist and offensive" if you prefer>

Sparklysilversequins Sun 28-Jul-13 09:39:45

I don't think ds WAS rude. He was chatting to the child and Mum, had connected with them so to speak, he couldn't see so asked if they'd swap so he could. How is that rude? I don't get it confused. It would have been a bit cheeky to ask complete strangers I suppose........if a child requested this of me I would say "no problem, in fact do you want me to swap with you so you can sit with my ds seeing as you're getting on so well you can watch together".

Oh and Disney is bloody brilliant but then we never have to queue as both my dc have SN. I can imagine it would be much more fraught if we did.

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 09:43:36

Me too, sparkly. However, I might well say something like "yes, that's a good idea- it will mean both you and my ds can see better" a bit pointedly if I thought the other child was only thinking about himself and hadn't considered whether my child would be losing out...

Wuldric Sun 28-Jul-13 09:46:02

Hand/hip firmness
A finger point yikes

I read the clarifications and I am still utterly confused. But I hope you enjoy the remainder of your holiday, if you are still there.

RoxyFox211 Sun 28-Jul-13 09:46:56

yabu. She was guna move, who cares if she did it because it was better for her or better for your son? she still did it hmm.

I think im missing something, this is really bizarre....

Ok, have read the whole thing & still haven't got a fucking clue... confused

xylem8 Sun 28-Jul-13 09:51:21

I think it is rude and precocious for a child to ask an adult he doesn't know to change seats so he can see better.

Latara Sun 28-Jul-13 09:54:14

What is wrong with going to Disneyworld? Not for me admittedly but it's ideal for children.

Sparklysilversequins Sun 28-Jul-13 09:54:37

So he should just sit there at Disney, NOT seeing? Why? Because he's only 8?

PinotInAPinch Sun 28-Jul-13 09:55:16

Clearly my use of the word 'ghetto' has some people pissed off. So tell me why - in this case it was slanguage/reportage - why it doesn't have a place in real life? I understand where these linguistic turn of phrases come from. If you want to argue your point over a single use of phrase in this posting's title, please do. I welcome all objections. I also hold onto my right to bring all language, at all times, to the discussion, whether it's here or in public.

I can't make up my mind whether or not your ds was being over confident or not in asking her before checking with you first.

It all sounds bloody hard work though.

Dud you command an audience as you went nuclear??

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 09:58:45

It's not very nice to generalise that people from "ghettos" are angry, shouty and generally a bit common. Same as using 'chav' really.

I took it that you were taking the piss out of yourself, albeit in a slightly wine-soaked way.

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 10:00:43

IMO OPs son was rude because he asked 2 other people to swap, rather than asking someone to swap with him.

EatYourCrusts Sun 28-Jul-13 10:01:37

Once I understood what was going on, I saw that your son was not rude, the woman was rude, and you were right to wave your finger sternly at her.

crikeybill Sun 28-Jul-13 10:03:04

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Groovee Sun 28-Jul-13 10:03:53

I may have been a screaming banshee at a very rude american family who tried to skive the queue at spaceship earth in Epcot. I told the mother manners cost nothing and if she didn't start using please, she'd get nowhere in life and nor would her very rude teenage daughter. blush I still cringe! It was 3 weeks ago now!

thornrose Sun 28-Jul-13 10:05:06

"Well, it's MUCH better for them at this end isn't it?!! and we all KNOW you know all about that."

Who said this? This is the part I'm most confused about, what does it mean?

FannyMcNally Sun 28-Jul-13 10:05:08

Sparkly, he was there with his parents so they can swap around or he can sit on their laps. Isn't that the norm? Or do others ask tall people in front to move if they can't see? Maybe I don't get out much.

SolomanDaisy Sun 28-Jul-13 10:06:21

I find it very irritating when people deliberately pick names that are close to someone else's, even when their tone makes it clear they're a different poster. It's a bit rude. Not particularly 'ghetto' though.

Dackyduddles Sun 28-Jul-13 10:06:46

You're a bit "wannabe" aren't you? Ghetto??! Über showy parenting etc?!

Your just annoyed the day was about the dc aren't you when your usually the star.... Wait! Nope you got back the spotlight with huffy behaviour.

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:07:33

Groovee that's priceless!

Latara Sun 28-Jul-13 10:09:28

If the lady said she would move because ''it's better for my son and for you (meaning OP's son)'' then what was the actual problem to get angry about??

DuttyWine Sun 28-Jul-13 10:09:41

What's "ghetto" about what you did? Seriously. confused

Sparklysilversequins Sun 28-Jul-13 10:10:04

I think he's 8 and striking up a friendship with the people sat in front and at age 8 probably didn't think he WAS being rude, just seeing a solution.

For those of you getting po about ghetto, what do you think of this?

Sparklysilversequins Sun 28-Jul-13 10:11:03

However I agree you weren't "ghetto" OP, probably just red faced, stressed sweaty and shouty, especially in this weather!

Wuldric Sun 28-Jul-13 10:12:08

I also hold onto my right to bring all language, at all times, to the discussion, whether it's here or in public

It's not the use of the word 'ghetto' it's just that your writing style is very confusing indeed. Why don't you try to read your posts back to yourself and see if your 8 YO would understand them without a lot of clarification? It's a good test for clarity. Try a little more punctuation and a few more paragraphs.

Groovee Sun 28-Jul-13 10:12:17

I can't stop cringing that I behaved like that in the happiest place on earth. blush But trying to queue jump doesn't work with me. I split up an brazilian tour group who were pushing in to the fastpass line too.

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:14:48

Blimey Groovee you are clearly not one to be messed with grin

FannyMcNally Sun 28-Jul-13 10:15:15

oh god thornrose don't start on that yet. We haven't completely sorted out the first bit grin

Now I have Elvis fucking Presley in my head at ten in the morning.

In the gateau
In the gateau...

Surely the Jewish have first dibs on offence-taking at the word ghetto? It's really not necessary.

Irish OP, I am well impressed by your command of emoticons despite your obvious sozzlement!

bunchoffives Sun 28-Jul-13 10:17:29

I think your DS was rude too. He asked other people to move while he sat unmoving and not inconvenienced at all? I'd have told him to hold his tongue.

However, Disney is the work of the devil and so all behaviour there is understandable. You have my sympathy OP.

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 10:18:05

Yeah, right. Incredibly "po" to object to racist, classist offensive language.

MsVestibule Sun 28-Jul-13 10:18:06

I'm not pissed off that you've used the word 'ghetto', I just genuinely don't understand why it's used in this context confused.

The Jews in Krakow in World War Ii were rounded up and forced to live (and were often murdered) in a ghetto. I've also heard it used in the context where ethnic minorities live together in less than salubrious circumstances. Where does Disneyworld fit into this, even in a jokey way?

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 28-Jul-13 10:18:34

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Groovee Sun 28-Jul-13 10:24:06

I normally say nothing lol. But I delayed my period with that pill so I didn't have it on holiday and my PMT seemed worse than usual and I seemed to get it at the point where AF should have arrived.

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 28-Jul-13 10:25:16

Oops. blush

Sparklysilversequins Sun 28-Jul-13 10:28:18

Why is it racist curlew? Are you assuming that ONLY black people live in ghettos?

MidniteScribbler Sun 28-Jul-13 10:28:50

This is why you should never drink and disney.

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:29:29

That was quick, what on earth did you say knid? shock

Chihuahuahua Sun 28-Jul-13 10:30:35

No idea what you are on about, but I feel sorry for your kids going all the way to Florida and only getting one day at Disney.


TheVermiciousKnid Sun 28-Jul-13 10:30:50

Umm. I suppose I may have possibly been suggesting that the OP was maybe, possibly not entirely genuine. Or something like that.

thebody Sun 28-Jul-13 10:31:23

you wouldn't get that shit in Bournmouth.

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 10:32:31

I don't know this Pinot or that Pinot, but it's still not hard to understand, I am confused by people who find it such a struggle

FannyMcNally Sun 28-Jul-13 10:32:32

knid, was that the homework remark? I didn't think sarcasm broke talk guidelines.

SolomanDaisy Sun 28-Jul-13 10:33:09

What do you think a ghetto is sparkly?

Sparklysilversequins Sun 28-Jul-13 10:36:56

What do YOU think one is soloman? smile

ll31 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:36:59

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Cravey Sun 28-Jul-13 10:39:01

I don't think you went ghetto op. I have a cousin who lives in what is loosely termed as a ghetto area. I have to say she is slightly better mannered than you. And her children aren't so rude as to ask strangers to move because they can't see.

TheRealFellatio Sun 28-Jul-13 10:39:10

I wondered how long it would take for this thread to go this way as soon as I read the OP......

There are so many things in that OP that were just asking for a pasting, it was only a matter of time. I think it's a classic example of brazen rookie over-confidence. grin

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:39:27

shock for shame!

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 10:42:29

That was for Knid btw, I'm shocked at your behaviour, shocked I tell you.

I just read the OP as booze-addled nonsense. It's awfully angry on here atm sad

SolomanDaisy Sun 28-Jul-13 10:43:40

An ethnic enclave sparkly. Hence using it as a negative referent tends to have racist undertones.

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 10:43:41

" And her children aren't so rude as to ask strangers to move because they can't see."

I still don't really see why this is so rude. Unless the swap would have put the woman's ds behind somebody tall.

Would it have been rude if the OP had politely asked the same question?

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 28-Jul-13 10:44:05

I know, I know. sad I'm shocked at my own shocking behaviour. Booze-addled nonsense (or words to that effect) was one of my suggestions. Ah well. I'd better get on with some work anyway...

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 10:45:25

"Why is it racist curlew? Are you assuming that ONLY black people live in ghettos?"

No. That's why I said racist, classist and offensive. Covering all bases.

NutcrackerFairy Sun 28-Jul-13 10:46:22

I do think 8 year old son who is "actually a dote" sounds like he is quite used to getting his own way... hence his request for an unknown adult to swap seats so he could see better. I don't think many 8 year olds, in a foreign country, would be quite so forward and self assured...

I would imagine most 8 years who couldn't see would complain to their parents and expect parents to sort it out - whether that be via parents swapping seats with them, putting the child on their lap or the parents asking a strange adult sat in front whether they would mind moving...

Actually I would be embarrassed if a child of mine asked an adult to move. I would tell him off and apologise to the other adult as he is being a bit cheeky and presumptuous imo. However if the other adult agreed to move I would be very grateful.

So you should have gone "ghetto" at your son not at the narked woman sat in front.

BTW I agree with all the posters who have said that "ghetto" isn't a very nice term. Just because you live in the Bronx and wear hooped earrings it doesn't mean that you are shouty, fighty and aggressive hmm

Cravey Sun 28-Jul-13 10:48:01

You do realise don't you op that you are coming across as slightly racist. Implying that people who do live in a ghetto are bad tempered and rude. You need to take this thread down.

Sparklysilversequins Sun 28-Jul-13 10:49:18

There's plenty of predominantly white ghettos both now and historically, just google.

Also poor whites tend to live in rural disadvantaged areas rather than inner city areas so you don't hear quite so much about them.

Now in a timely manner I am off to Legoland with my dc, let's hope it all goes smoothly. Rest assured a pep talk on manners will be the ONLY topic of convo in the car on the journey wink.

Incidentally, this thread is highlighting some astounding ignorance of what the word ghetto means.

Lest we forget.

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 10:52:18

He was rude because he asked others to move but didn't move himself.

Perhaps he gets his manners from his mum.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 28-Jul-13 10:54:48

do naice middle class people go to Disney hmm well I am surprised

it's called losing your temper I have seen a rise in the number of incidents this last week and have done so myself more than once

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 10:56:07

"There's plenty of predominantly white ghettos both now and historically, just google."

<sigh> yes, that's why I said racist and classist. But don't let the facts get in your way.......

Groovee Sun 28-Jul-13 10:57:30

do naice middle class people go to Disney no just Working Class wink

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 10:57:38

"He was rude because he asked others to move but didn't move himself."

Did he have anywhere to move to? He was only asking the two people in front if they minded swapping seats!

ShellyBoobs Sun 28-Jul-13 10:58:38

Well after struggling to comprehend the whole debacle, I'm still not sure entirely what was going on with OP's dc asking other boy's mum to move, instead of moving himself.


On a side note, I'm also rather concerned for the state of our education system if an English graduate thinks that "I over thank it" makes any sense whatsoever.


The op went on a trip to Disney with her children. At one stage show her son struck up a conversation with a child sat in front of him but one seat diagonal. The other child's mother was directly in front of the OPs ds.

After chatting to the other boy for some time he asked the boys mother (politely) if she would be willing to swap seats with her son as he couldn't see over her head. No other spectators were in front of the mother or her child so no change in view for them. The other mother made a big deal about pointedly telling OPs ds that she would, but not because he couldn't see but rather as it meant her son would have a better view. She made it clear if there had been no benefit for her son she would have stayed put. She was unnecessarily rude so the OP called both boys to sit at the far side of her family further in the direction that the other mother had referred to as 'better' and made a bit of an arse of herself doing it.

I'm not sure what's so difficult to understand, the OPs a bit jumbled but not that bad. Seems like a few posters just have their knickers in a twist as they thought this was a opportunity to rub up against a popular MNer and feel conned. There are tens of thousands of MN usernames, statistically its not possible for every one of them to be completely dissimilar to every other. How would a new user possibly know that pinot is part of the name of a popular MNer who doesn't even use that name much anymore and why should they care?

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 11:03:46

I over thank it was funny. I over-thinked it would have been funnier, or even I over-thunk.

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 11:05:50

"Seems like a few posters just have their knickers in a twist as they thought this was a opportunity to rub up against a popular MNer and feel conned"

This. Particularly as they had to work so hard to make it OK for said popular MNer to have used offensive language. Which would in most cases have precipitated a ton of bricks on to the OP's head!

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 11:10:24

"Did he have anywhere to move to? He was only asking the two people in front if they minded swapping seats!"

He could have asked his parents, or even asked the woman if she would change places with him.

There was obviously somewhere to move to as OP made everyone move!

I think it's really rude to ask people to move around for your benefit, but not be one of the movers.

Maybe just me.

FannyMcNally Sun 28-Jul-13 11:17:00

Agree diddle but then maybe it's a middle class thing. I wouldn't know grin

IsaacCox Sun 28-Jul-13 11:18:45

I've absolutely no idea what's going on confused I just want to know which show it was?

RandallPinkFloyd Sun 28-Jul-13 11:27:40

Dear lord there's an over abundance of patronising smug on here at the moment. It's everywhere. Is it the new thing?

MarcelineTheVampireQueen Sun 28-Jul-13 11:40:18

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

NoelHeadbands Sun 28-Jul-13 11:42:26

Everything SummerRain said.

Although I wouldn't like my 8yo asking other people to swap around, I have to say

curlew Sun 28-Jul-13 11:46:26

"He could have asked his parents, or even asked the woman if she would change places with him."

Why would it be all right to walk the woman to change place with him, which would has involved her climbing over the seat, but not OK to ask her to swap with her own son who was sitting next to her? <baffled>

FreudiansSlipper Sun 28-Jul-13 11:48:10

I hope some are not suggesting it can be cliquey on here shock

ban them mnhq for breaking the ultimate mn sin

marleebrodie Sun 28-Jul-13 11:49:42

Don't know about unreasonable but you are illiterate.

Wuldric Sun 28-Jul-13 11:53:22

An English graduate did this?

I don't believe it. Say it ain't so.

lougle Sun 28-Jul-13 11:57:34

"I also hold onto my right to bring all language, at all times, to the discussion, whether it's here or in public."

Ahhh so you're one of those posters who decides that your right to language is more important than the feelings of whole groups of people for whom the word is offensive?

It's amazing how the right to use offensive words is so important to some people.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 28-Jul-13 12:05:12

Arf @ Wuldric

OnTheNingNangNong Sun 28-Jul-13 12:47:06

I'm glad I went to Disney in 1993, it was naice then wink

Crumbledwalnuts Sun 28-Jul-13 12:57:42

Yes summerrain has hit the nail on the head.

whois Sun 28-Jul-13 13:02:28

Funny thread. OP totally over reacted!

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 28-Jul-13 13:24:49

I think you must have been tired/dehydrated/over-excited

Yes - DS probably shouldn't have asked them to swap. But, as you say, he thought there was a bit if a connection there and it was the sensible thing to do. He's also still relatively young in that he's old enough to feel confident enough to speak up but not perhaps old enough to realise that the request could look bossy to the adult

However, you're reaction was totally bonkers and will have spoiled/ disrupted the show far more for your son/family than anything the mother said to him

I'm quite surprised that, with your very heightened sense of "right" and "wrong" re placement that you didn't think that you all shuffling off in a huff would be rather disruptive for those sitting around you

Nancy66 Sun 28-Jul-13 13:26:40

This whole thread is like reading something in Norwegian. I haven't got a fucking clue what anyone is talking about.

NayFindus Sun 28-Jul-13 13:39:54

So you're a snob and too up yourself to rub along with other people because you got a BA in English and not something difficult or useful like law or medicine and you wanted to tell everyone on Mumsnet this?

Job done.

Salmotrutta Sun 28-Jul-13 14:20:22

So a woman agreed to swap seats when asked to by your son.

She made it clear she was doing it for the convenience of her own son - probably to imply that your son was a bit forward for asking and that she didnt have to - but good on her.

You took exception to someone implying that they weren't obliged to move for your convenience.

You then made a fool of yourself.

I think I've got that right... hmm

Salmotrutta Sun 28-Jul-13 14:21:47

That should have said - "but good on her for agreeing and doing it"

Salmotrutta Sun 28-Jul-13 14:26:09

I'm puzzled by the "Hold my earrings, kids" bit though. confused

SixPackWellies Sun 28-Jul-13 14:27:56



<walks off scratching head>

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 28-Jul-13 14:28:29

salmo - I think it was a joke. OP saying that ghetto dwellers would take their big dangly earrings off before a fight.

Solari Sun 28-Jul-13 14:31:43

I think the "Hold my earrings, kids" is referencing the behaviour of certain women who would take their earrings out in a confrontation so they didn't get ripped out (in an anticipated physical fight).

Pretty much just a guess, but I've seen it done before (earrings taken out as an act of intimidation, or as actual precaution).

SixPackWellies Sun 28-Jul-13 14:34:48

<wanders back in>

<wanders out>

Secretswitch Sun 28-Jul-13 14:41:51

YABU. I have been in the US for over 20 years. The use of "ghetto" implies someone is from a lower socio-economic bracket. It is an offensive and racist term. Ghetto's in the US have historically been the home to African Americans. Usually huge clusters of flats, generally assumed to be crime and drug ridden.

Salmotrutta Sun 28-Jul-13 14:49:22

A bit like "Hold my jacket" then?

Only much funnier because its about people from the ghetto hmm

AmIthatHot Sun 28-Jul-13 15:06:37

Yes, the holding of the earrings puzzled me too

I was actually getting the gist of this, although I think YABU but then someone threw "popular poster" into the mix

What popular poster? I doesn't sound like anyone I know hmm

Vivacia Sun 28-Jul-13 15:11:26

I'm guessing there's another poster with "pinot" in their name? This poster is judged by some to be both admired but also a target to be taken down a peg or two. However, the OP isn't the poster in question.

Serious question, how did your son and husband feel after you'd behaved like this?

AmIthatHot Sun 28-Jul-13 15:30:35

Thanks Vivacia . Playground games on MN grin

Someone once had a go at me for calling out her "friend" on some garbage she was spouting. Told me that I shouldn't dare criticise this poster as she had posted for ages and knew an incredible amount about the subject (She didn't actually)

I can barely remember my own name, let alone others'

Vivacia Sun 28-Jul-13 16:10:10

I'm pretty much the same AmIthatHot ! I'm always surprised when somebody "recognises" me, as I don't think I'm that prolific or interesting a poster.

bellablot Sun 28-Jul-13 20:51:04


AudrinaAdare Sun 28-Jul-13 22:53:11

It was a joke! Not an AIBU, granted, and might have made a good thread in chat if OP had asked about travelling and instantly (and sometimes inappropriately) responding to surroundings when immersed.

I am from the S.E but DD after spending three days with the ILs who live near Birmingham was asking for, "stike and kidnay poi" and we all laughed.

And "ghetto" has a very different and modern meaning these days in the same way that the word, "gay" has compared how that was used in the period between the two world wars. Language is ever-evolving.

If "ghetto" is a word which is derogatory about people from socio-economically deprived backgrounds then why are so many millionaire rappers using it? Magazines which I can no longer afford promote stupidly-priced clothing and accessories using the tag "Ghetto-Fabulous".

Poor OP. Sometimes it takes a while to get the hang of forums and on MN in particular, which board to post on and how to phrase things. I don't believe for a second that her post was malicious in intent, she was just trying to make us laugh.

Secretswitch Sun 28-Jul-13 23:56:05

Adriana, I invite you to stand outside my house and call the first person you see "ghetto". I can't wait for you to explain your language evolution to them. I am sure they will be very edified and leave grateful for your helpful explanation.

Mimishimi Mon 29-Jul-13 00:27:15

I have no idea what that post meant. You don't sound like a 'naice middle class girl' in that post, you sound drunk.

AudrinaAdare Mon 29-Jul-13 00:39:27

What? But that would be unacceptable and rude in anyone's book, surely?

I live in a very socio-economically deprived area of the South East and wouldn't dream of standing on the doorstep and calling out any sort of epithet! I wouldn't do that if I lived in Knightsbridge although I might be tempted if I saw Dave, George or Boris on the street to use choice language - I can't lie...

And I wouldn't bloody dare to stand in my doorway of my former house full stop to be honest. No-go police estate, violent crime huge, street smelt of weed, windows regularly broken, DC mugged for ice-cream money, shots, blue-lights and sirens every fucking night and most days, I could go on.

The fact is, the OP maybe doesn't know about this and was trying to have a bit of a joke. I know it's no joke living like this more than most, but could we not cut her some slack, or are we all just jealous of the holiday?

Secretswitch Mon 29-Jul-13 00:46:19

Yes, it is all about holiday jealousy. Not sure if you have ever been in South Florida in July but I have. It is like the seventh circle of hell. Toss a bit of the Happiest Place on Earth and it is enough to give anyone the rage. Perhaps you are right, we should give the op a miss for her ignorant use of word.

AudrinaAdare Mon 29-Jul-13 00:49:03

Oh - I missed out my favourite, Mr Iain Duncan Smith, man of the people. I would totally unleash a tirade at him from my doorstep, manners be damned. It would probably end with me "disappearing" though.

AudrinaAdare Mon 29-Jul-13 00:55:25

I wouldn't know about Florida. Generous ILs tried to send us to Disneyland Paris for three days but with DS' S.N we couldn't accept. Is it the same as here but even hotter? God forbid.

I don't do well in the heat and can see myself ending up doing the head-snakey thing at judgey people rather than coldly telling them to submit their autism cures to The Lancet and DD (now thirteen) who watches too much American television telling the woman she nothin' but a ten dollar ho with a two-bit haircut or something equally horrifying shock

Secretswitch Mon 29-Jul-13 01:19:40

I have lived in the US for over 20 years. Two of the twenty were spent in Stuart, Florida. Two long long years. I am also a heat hater. The best thing about Florida was the birth of my dd. (she considers herself to be Southern, even though her mother holds a British passport! )
Florida in the summer is like walking around wearing a heavy wet wool jumper...
My son has autism, we did not even attempt Disney at that time. He is very crowd and sound sensitive.
I also apologise for being so stroppy. I'm always defencive about racism and disabilism..

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Mon 29-Jul-13 01:28:01

Yeah, there is a poster called Pinot who has been here a long time and used to be quite prolific.
From what I gather a lot of people liked her. A lot.

She's on a break from MN at the moment.

I wonder why hmm ?

AudrinaAdare Mon 29-Jul-13 01:33:40

No need, I'm the same wrt to disablism and racism I hope. Congrats on your Southern DD, not a bad identity to have at all!

My best friend on-line lives in Palm Beach and describes Orlando as "a zoo". Her DS3 has ADHD. It is really difficult for them even though I know that Disney try to make things accessible.

We are spending the six weeks holiday in England in the house as usual because the beaches, the parks, the swimming pools, even the bloody supermarkets are too much for DS and now we have to deal with schools fining us for taking him for a three-day holiday in mid-September when he can actually feel safe enough to play on the beach for half an hour.

Good luck to you and yours for the summer smile

EvilTwins Mon 29-Jul-13 02:15:34

I'm in Florida right now. I'm middl class and vair naice. Don't see the issue with Disney. DH, the DTDs and I are having a super time.

Why would you go to Florida and only do one day at Disney (and Hollywood Studios at that - I presume OP is talking about the Indiana Jones stunt show) when the cheapest available ticket is a 2 day pass?

I am mildly offended at the suggestion that naice people don't go to Disney when in Florida.

TheRealFellatio Mon 29-Jul-13 19:31:41

Me too Evil - I love Disney and I am not ashamed to say it. I wouldn't go every year or get silly/obessive about it, but we have had a couple fo the most magical and fabulous holiday there and we will never regret them, or apologise/justify to anyone for enjoying them. So ner.

(and I say that as someone who is pretty discerning and cynical about many things.)

TheRealFellatio Mon 29-Jul-13 19:33:20

Sorry, that really was the most terribly garbled post. confused

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