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to think that an 'estimated' due date in 2013 is not good enough

(82 Posts)
Thyeternalsummer Fri 26-Jul-13 11:40:02

Getting exceedingly p'd off with the whole EDD thing. 38 + 6 today and baby theoretically due next Saturday. But of course could have been born at any point in preceding two weeks, or two weeks after.

Which is a bit crap really. They probably predicted baby's due date with as much accuracy 500 years ago.

Surely there must be some statistical analysis taking into account baby's size, previous pregnancies, mothers weight/height, genetic indicators etc which would let you predict with greater accuracy than 'some point within x four weeks'.

Bet if it was men that got pregnant, your due date would be calculable down to the hour and you'd receive daily count down text reminders! wink

As you can tell, I'm a bit fed up!

eurozammo Fri 26-Jul-13 11:41:23

I think you just need to cool off a bit. wink

Ice cream time?

ImNotBloody14 Fri 26-Jul-13 11:42:10

Yeah but then you'd have idiots sueing hospitals when their dcs werent born before emmerdale on tuesday grin

If you want to know exactly- book a caesarian.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 26-Jul-13 11:45:11

The unreliability of it is to prepare you for the fact that you can't predict what the baby is going to do once it is here. grin

If you need that level of control you need to try and chill out just a little wink

Gobbolinothewitchscat Italy Fri 26-Jul-13 11:46:04

I can understand exactly how you feel. But I don't think it's lack if research - the Royal Vollege of Obs freely admit that they are not 100% sure what triggers labour spontaneously. They know about the obvious hormones etc but a lot of research is currently being done as it would assist with inductions etc

Growth scans are notoriously inaccurate so they do t really help

I don't think the hot weather helps and it must be really unpleasant. I had DS in November but I was quite relaxed about when he came. I did hypnobirthing and one of the principles if that was the baby would come when ready. That helped me a long...a bit!

Chattymummyhere England Fri 26-Jul-13 11:48:27

It would be great...

Your baby is due on X day...

They need a good test for it, they got my dates very wrong since I had a 3week early baby born 5days past due date.

whyno Fri 26-Jul-13 11:48:45

Feeling for you. It's a miserable time of year to be heavily pregnant, isn't it?

I am constantly shocked by how little is known about pregnancy despite it going on forever.

maja00 Fri 26-Jul-13 11:48:47

You are right to an extent.

The length of pregnancy as generally calculated (266 days from conception) was decided on a couple of hundred years ago and is slightly random. Actually spontaneous, uncomplicated births in first pregnancies tend to happen 274 days from conception, and 269 in subsequent pregnancies.

However, I don't think there is a way to take into account the individual interactions between mother and foetus in an individual pregnancy that set off labour, or how long labour will last.

SirBoobAlot Fri 26-Jul-13 11:48:52

They come out when they're ready.

<hands ice cream and runs away>

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 26-Jul-13 11:49:33

There are so many unquantifiable factors affecting when a baby is born that is why it is estimated. I work in the veterinary field and even with bulls who will have thousands of offspring in their lives with all kinds of complex data kept we can still only get an estimated due date. What we do know is that 'bull factor' is one of the biggest affections of due date, but not how much by.

cory Fri 26-Jul-13 11:50:25

<looks frantically around for the emoticon for cooling drinks and wet wipes for the OP's brow>

Thyeternalsummer Fri 26-Jul-13 11:58:52

I do need to chill out! grin I'm just sooo fed up of being pregnant.

What I'm really struggling with is the lack of a 'definite' date I can say, it will all be over by x point. I'm a runner and one of the things that really helps me get through difficult sessions is the knowledge that there's only a certain number of miles, minutes left and after I pass a certain landmark etc, then I can stop. Similarly I really struggle in exercise classes where I have no idea how long I need to sustain an effort.

My midwife has got really narky with me trying to pin down the absolute LAST day I could be pregnant i.e clarifying the earliest point for induction and how soon that could be scheduled with the hospital etc.

motherinferior Fri 26-Jul-13 12:02:47

Sorry, love, I know it's vile being pregnant but really babies do vary. Seriously they do. As do mothers, circumstances and different pregnancies.

alistron1 Fri 26-Jul-13 12:05:10

Labour is initiated by a hormonal surge from the baby. That's impossible to predict accurately.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 26-Jul-13 12:05:50

Well you do know it will definitely be over by 44 weeks! grin No-one stays pregnant that ling so i think you'd be safe planning to have a drink that day wink

My midwife has got really narky with me trying to pin down the absolute LAST day I could be pregnant i.e clarifying the earliest point for induction and how soon that could be scheduled with the hospital etc.

Well even an induction date wouldn't be a due date, my induction took 5 days start to finish with DS finally being hauled out 16 days late <evil grin>

cory Fri 26-Jul-13 12:08:51

Ah you poor thing. But it will pass, this baby will come out, and you will have lovely, lovely summer birthday parties and treat days out to look forward to in the years to come.

Afraid you will have to let go of the whole control thing though now that you are going to be a mother. There is no such thing as pinning down the exact day when your lo will be ready to be potty trained/come out of the terrible two's/be mature enough to put the loo seat down (if of the male sex) or grow out of the pink princess stage (if female). Well not unless you set a really generous date. Chances are they will be potty trained by 9. And will not have 2yo tantrums during their university interviews.

But then we can do that for your pregnancy as well. OP, I absolutely promise you that your baby will be born by the 9th of November. There, did that help?

P.S. As for the loo seat- no, that really is out of human control. It's one of these things that Providence uses to make us remember our insignificance on this planet. Valley of tears and all that. wink

ChimeForChange Fri 26-Jul-13 12:10:17

YABU

<hands OP another ice cream>

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 26-Jul-13 12:10:37

I feel for you I really do as a huge planner myself. My beautiful, but very awkward DD taught me that babies and children make you loosen up In this area. Originally due to being breech she was going to be born on 22nd December, she turn 48 hours before this so that was cancelled. Her EDD was 7th Jan, on 31st Dec I had check up with GP I had I thought BH GP said no proper contractions - hmmm that all stopped after 12 hours. 7th came and went nothing. I eventually had induction on 19th started to labour at 9pm, saw consultant early on 20th congratulations today will be your baby's birthday. She was eventually dragged out at 10.12am on the 21stJan. Life with her has been pretty much like that for the last 9.5years you can make plans, but sure as hell she will toss in a curved ball and they will go to pot.
If I could go back there again I would sit on the sofa feet up on cushion watching as much crap TV as possible, because I think I've been on the treadmill for the last 9.5 years.

chesticles Fri 26-Jul-13 12:14:04

I can sympathise, I also like to count down to things, but I made the BIG mistake of counting down to estimated due date with DD1 and ended up pretty much crying and going slowly insane for the 2 weeks that she was overdue. I'd held ti together for 40 weeks and the need to carry on with it all for what seemed like an infinite time was just too much
With my 2nd pregnancy I was so determined to not get into such a state I concentrated on 40 +14 as I figured out there was no way I could go any longer than that. I didn't factor in that 2nd pregnancy was twins so they turned up at 35+6. But that was so much better than being overdue.
Focus on 40+14 is my best advice. You will definitely still not be pregnant by the end of August!

Lonecatwithkitten - a friend of mine (farmer's wife) explained the bull factor to me. She also reckoned it could be similar in humans.

She had three dc all who arrived 5 days early. He 4th dc was 2 weeks late. How I hmm to myself grin

maja00 Fri 26-Jul-13 12:19:28

44 weeks will definitely be the latest you are pregnant!

They will probably want to induce at 42 weeks, but if they are busy/have no beds/it's a weekend they might put it off a few days, and then the actual induction/labour might take a few days. I know a couple of people who had their babies at 43 weeks.

You cannot rationalise this. it's just too odd. I have a friend who has three dcs like me. 1 four weeks early, 1 two weeks early and 1 on due date. i have three too. 1 two weeks late and the other 2 one week late each. So I have been pregnant for TEN weeks longer than she has to produce the same number of dcs. HOW IS THAT FAIR? grin

SoupDragon Fri 26-Jul-13 12:25:29

You will definitely have had the baby by Sept 1st.

HTH!

<<proffers chocolate>>

Treagues Fri 26-Jul-13 12:26:55

YABU: researchers have tried to work it all out but it's simply too complex and there are too many outside factors when you consider the influences that work on the pregnancy over approx 40 weeks.

HoneyDragon Fri 26-Jul-13 12:27:01

My babies both came out on the first day of my maternity leave.

<<smug organised birther>>

grin

ICBINEG Fri 26-Jul-13 12:32:31

You would think there would be a blood test though...so you could do a prick test and get a much more accurate estimate...

It would be like the hCG in the early stages...you have to plot your own levels but then it is a very accurate date/health of baby indicator.

Thyeternalsummer Fri 26-Jul-13 12:35:47

Really hope the 'bull factor' isn't going to apply in this case. Partner's ex wife was 10 days overdue giving birth to their daughter. He might be in serious danger if I go overdue, and can pin it on him! grin

Lol at 'prick test', we know that's working fine.

All anyone can say is relax, summer, it will happen!

My boy was breech. If they couldn't work that out until 40+10 appointment then getting an exact date is a long way off!

ohnosnow Fri 26-Jul-13 16:36:52

At least you will have your baby in the year you were told. I was due to have ds in Dec 2010 he arrived 13 days late and the next year 2011.

Good luck now it won't be long.

icklemssunshine1 Fri 26-Jul-13 16:42:30

See the positive - you're pregnant & having a baby. I lost mine in February, I would live to be "fed up of being pregnant".

You can usually predict that you will go into labour at the most inconvenient time possible.
e.g.
(me) on the bus on way home from shopping in Central London (carrying the shopping bags from the bus stop was fun - DH was in work driving so I couldn't call him to help)

(SIL) in the middle of Xmas dinner

I suggest you find something you really want to do perhaps book a ticket for the cinema or a play that you really really want to see as that will guarantee labour starts.

ickle
I am very sorry for your loss.

I think this is meant to be a fairly lighthearted thread and may not be the best place to deal with the pain you might be feeling. Please be kind to yourself.

ChestyNut Fri 26-Jul-13 16:52:02

ickle thanks

Thyeternalsummer Fri 26-Jul-13 17:46:47

I'm sorry for your loss ickle.

I hope that you'll get the chance too to get to the stage of being fed up with being pregnant. No matter how wanted a baby is, everyone feels that way at some point. Unless they're a saint whose body was specifically designed for childbirth....and even then, I'd bet they'd be a tiny bit fed up too.

ZingWidge Fri 26-Jul-13 18:03:47

sorry OP but you can only tell the exact date of birth AFTER the baby is born.

anything else is an educated guess. and it will always be. bar being able to see into the future.

aamia Fri 26-Jul-13 18:14:54

Focus on 42wks. By then you will either have had the baby, be in labour, or be being induced.

Kiriwawa Fri 26-Jul-13 18:18:10

Being fed up of being pregnant is nature's way of making you not dread labour smile

ZingWidge Fri 26-Jul-13 18:25:55

oh and 500 years ago it woud have been "you'll have a baby by Harvest" grin

lillibet1 Fri 26-Jul-13 20:56:28

hormones talking ice cream chocolate cake relax by a window

littlepeas Fri 26-Jul-13 21:02:40

I actually think it is better not to know. I had dcs 2 and 3 by planned section and, although it was from excitement rather than nerves, I did not sleep a wink the night before, either time. Not brilliant to lose your last night's decent sleep for a while!

Pigsmummy Fri 26-Jul-13 21:13:28

Focus on edd + 14 and try to calm down, your baby won't come if you are stressed. Have a think about everything that you want to do before baby arrives, then do these things and reeeeeelax. You can also ask to be induced. Getting yourself worked up is not good for either your baby, scrub some floors, go for a nice meal, try flight socks for swollen ankles.

Fillyjonk75 Fri 26-Jul-13 21:19:22

What's the bull factor?

I think everyone has a slightly different gestation period as well. DDs both took 41 weeks to cook. Be thankful it is no longer 30C+ as it was in 2005 when I had DD1 in July.

Maybe they should just give up on EDD and give a due month. Far less frustrating wink

ShadowMeltingInTheSun Fri 26-Jul-13 21:26:17

Sadly it's just not possible for anyone to tell you exactly when the baby will arrive - there's too many variables in there.

DS turned up 6 weeks early - my waters broke at 33 weeks, and I went into spontaneous labour at 34 weeks. I had a debrief with the consultant when DS was a few weeks old, and she basically said that they had no idea at all why he was early. Not a clue.

There's just too much that they don't know about what makes labour start in the first place for anyone to give a precise date of birth in advance.

Phineyj Fri 26-Jul-13 21:32:37

I can see why it is difficult to predict given all the variability in humans but it's so annoying that then everything gets based on this very vague date (actually in my case I was given three!) and then there is this rush to induce which surely in some cases must mean they are trying to get the baby out rather too early.

My DH is good with statistics and analysed all my various scans and measurements (I had a lot due to complicated case history) and his estimate was more accurate than any of the medics!

YANBU, it is very frustrating. But possibly better than being a farmer when all the cows and sheep pop at once grin.

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 26-Jul-13 22:21:24

Filly 'bull factor' explained up thread in cows it is single biggest thing that affects length of pregnancy.

idiot55 Fri 26-Jul-13 22:22:55

Sounds like you may be about to pop!

Chill out. Of course no one can tell!

Lweji Portugal Sat 27-Jul-13 01:37:50

Bet if it was men that got pregnant, your due date would be calculable down to the hour and you'd receive daily count down text reminders!

By your reasoning there wouldn't be any ED. smile

I think the unreliability of the due date is to prepare you for being a parent.
So, you like predictability? grin

WandaDoff Sat 27-Jul-13 01:41:44

They got it right 2 out of 3 times with me.

WandaDoff Sat 27-Jul-13 01:52:50

BUT.......

DS1 was born on a sweltering night in July,

DD was born on an horribly hot night in August,

So I have suffered with the heat, & I know how exhausting & downright grim it feels.

I suggest a tepid bath, or a paddling pool & pretty much refusing to move from there until it is time, & as many ice creams/lollies/ice pops as you can handle.

Bogeyface Netherlands Sat 27-Jul-13 02:05:39

I completely understand your frustration! I went overdue with all but one of my 6 and had 4 inductions.

The reason it is an EDD is because, regardless of what our bodies are doing, the baby gets the casting vote, sorry!

Bogeyface Netherlands Sat 27-Jul-13 02:07:52

I read a very interesting article that said that the reason that most women (80%) go overdue is becaue EDD's are calculated wrongly. It said that 41 weeks is actually the average and so anything from 38 to 42 shoud be considered normal and that induction for post dates shouldnt be considered until week 43, and then only after monitoring the baby.

SoupDragon Sat 27-Jul-13 07:24:08

Don't our bodies hold off giving birth (to a certain extent) until it is "safe" to do so? A left over remnant from our days as apes. An EDD would never be exact.

HollyBerryBush Sat 27-Jul-13 07:35:52

Something I was reading (many moons ago) is that different races have different average pregnancy lengths - 40 weeks is just an average. The melting pot that is the world, it would be impossible to predict an exact date because everyone has a racial mix and it might be that gene that comes to the fore.

A baby will come when it wants to.

MrsBungle Sat 27-Jul-13 07:48:25

After being convinced I'd be 'early' with dc1 (as my mum had my brother and I, 2 weeks early) I was pissed off to be 8 days late.

With dc2 I told myself that my due date was actually 2 weeks later than it was so next time I was early! 4 days late

Once baby is here you will have forgotten all about this stage!

Thyeternalsummer Sat 27-Jul-13 08:09:37

Think the problem is that I've done everything that needs doing already so I'm living in the set of the baby play without the lead character. There's nothing more I can do now...if I bought any more clothes for example he'd be fully kitted out until he was 18 wink

I'm so sceptical now when my partner talks about 'when the baby's here' ....feels like I'm humouring an elderly aunt talking to me about 'when the Queen comes to tea'.

I did a load of cooking and filled the freezer with meals to help in the first couple of weeks.

Otherwise RELAX you won't be doing much of that when the baby turns up.

ZingWidge Sat 27-Jul-13 18:56:06

I think there should be Best Before End date.
if baby's not born by then, mum would be induced or would have ELSC on BEE day.

no-one would ever again have to feel like a failure for being late as baby could only ever be early or on time.

problem sorted, job done

< bangs gavel >

LilPeasMama Sat 27-Jul-13 21:36:23

That's it eternal I know exactly what you mean!
I reckon you should get a boxset on DVD and put you're feet up, oh how I wished I would have not seen Prison Break or 24 now, Gavin and Stacey maybe? What about Luther, I cannot recommend this enough, great programme!

revealall Sat 27-Jul-13 21:49:53

Mine was 10 days out according to doctors dates.
I had only had sex once the entire year and was exactly on the average (266 days) when I worked it out.

ArgyMargy Argentina Sat 27-Jul-13 21:52:42

YAB totally U. You are a woman, not a machine. Silly moo.

meditrina Sat 27-Jul-13 21:55:07

There sort of is a BBE date - 42weeks. Perhaps there should be more focus on the 2 week "window" rather than trying to tie it down to a day? Especially as stress hormones tend to delay onset.

Um no babies come when they are ready there is no exact science

maddening Sat 27-Jul-13 23:33:14

Any films you haven't watched? Tv series that you fancied but never got round to watching? Books to read? May as well sit back and eat cake, enjoy nice cups of tea (not luke warm ones) and enjoy the calm before the storm smile

TheDetective Sat 27-Jul-13 23:48:30

There isn't a BBE date, as the placenta doesn't suddenly expire at 42 weeks grin.

OP, with DS2 I didn't want to be induced. I went 20 days past EDD in the end. First DS was also 13 days past EDD too.

With DS2 I got a positive pregnancy test on day 20 of my cycle. Due to him being so overdue, I actually knew I was pregnant for 10 months and 1 day! grin

It did feel like the longest pregnancy ever, but I didn't get fed up. Just enjoy it for what it is - as boring and crap as that may seem.

He's mega a mega stubborn baby by the way. I think he just started as he wanted to go on!

Your baby will be here by 16 days after the EDD most likely. Aim for that. smile

Bogeyface Netherlands Sat 27-Jul-13 23:57:07

The problem with people saying "Enjoy the calm before the storm" is that its like telling a child that its nearly Xmas but not telling them the date it will happen. Everyday they run down hoping for presents and every day you say "nope, not today, maybe it will be tomorrow". We want the big day, and every twinge makes us think "Is it today?".

If we had a definite EDD then we could focus on that. People saying "Oh I really enjoyed my PG, I read all the books I hadnt had time for" is really fecking annoying!

maddening Sun 28-Jul-13 09:14:46

The detective - there is a natural expiration "date" though - placentas start to deteriorate between 40-42 weeks - obviously this varies from one person to another so some such as yourself may last longer.

Bogey - yes I know you can't help the anticipation but sometimes as an adult you can just sit back and try and relax a bit and remind yourself to enjoy it as well - it's also the kind of thing some wish they had done more of instead of getting stressed. Especially as short of induction or cesarean there's not much you can do. In addition being stressed isn't conducive to labour starting.

outragedofsuburbia Sun 28-Jul-13 09:32:09

I think in the modern western world we are too used to having control and being able effect our environment. In birth we can't and it really seems to concern some women and their partners and makes them anxious. The only way we can gain control is c-section and even that can have unpredictable outcomes and unforeseen future consequences. Induction is a very unpredictable process although people send to be under the misapprehension it's a case 1+1 = baby.

You really would be better off trying to let go of these feelings of control because when your lively baby decides to arrive all organisation and control will go out of the window!

outragedofsuburbia Sun 28-Jul-13 09:33:50

I meant lovely baby although will be lively too I am sure.

DidoTheDodo Sun 28-Jul-13 09:34:10

You're lucky to be pregnant.
Just chill and wait as women have always had to do.

oh lighten up dido

SoupDragon Sun 28-Jul-13 09:45:11

That's helpful hmm

mrsspagbol Sun 28-Jul-13 09:56:29

As someone sat here at 40 plus 7 i feel OP is VVV reasonable.

Should I ever be expecting again, I feel they should not bother with giving me an EDD - it reall doesn't suit my my
controlling personality type.

diddl Germany Sun 28-Jul-13 10:14:36

When I went into labour & phoned my ILs to come over & look after PFB, they got into a right tiz.

Mil asked me what she should do with the casserole she had put in the oven & handed me over to FIL.

He asked me what time I would be having the baby so that they knew how long they would be staying.confusedgrin

Husband had to prise my fingers off the door frame as I wailed that I wanted a home birth...

I kind of get the ones who are saying "you are lucky to be pg" though - but anyone who doesn't want to click on this thread would have enough from the OP to know what it's about.

When I was about 16-18 weeks pg with DC2 (my DD) I had a car accident. (Also had an early MC before DD)
So the last 3 months of pg (ligaments stretching/getting bigger/no painkillers except paracematol/ 24 hour pain) were grim.

Every day once I was past the magic 36 weeks I said to bump "Whenever you like, today would be good"
but never out loud.

So yes, I do sympathise with being heavily pg in July.
But I've seen things from both sides too. sad

DidoTheDodo Sun 28-Jul-13 14:49:05

Not light because DD lost 27+4 baby very recently.
That good enough reason to hope that women who are pg would be glad and stop moaning about the weather, producing early etc?

From my perspective, it does feel a bit unreasonable.

SoupDragon Sun 28-Jul-13 14:53:13

I'm sorry to hear that Dido sad How dreadful.

Nevertheless, if people weren't allowed a light hearted whinge about something simply because there is someone worse off/wanting to be in their position, we wouldn't be allowed to complain about anything.

If a thread upsets you, it is best to simply hide it.

zatyaballerina Sun 28-Jul-13 14:56:37

yanbu, it's always torturous by the time you get to the last couple of weeks, it's so uncomfortable you just want the baby out, it must be ten times worse in this weather. On the bright side you will absolutely have your baby with you in three weeks at the latestsmile Look at it that way.

DidoTheDodo Sun 28-Jul-13 14:56:56

All made worse by the Royal baby and baby-related everything being very prominent at present.

Off to hide. Thread and self.

MerylStrop Sun 28-Jul-13 15:01:10

Realising that birth, like pretty much all parenting, is something that you cannot be in control of is a very, very good thing indeed.

OP what needs to be done is that you need to take yourself off and go to the cinema in the day, go swimming with other humungous ladies, eat a long leisurely lunch in a fancy cafe, and savour the alone-ness.

Dido, ickle - big love.

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