to feel like I have failed because I want to give up on baby led weaning?

(161 Posts)
honeytea Fri 26-Jul-13 10:33:13

Ds is 7 months old and he is doing reaply well with his eating. We waited till 6 months before we offered him food and we have been following blw. He has been eating the same food as us and actually managing to chew strips of chicken and trying lots of vegetables, he hardly ever gaggs and he seems to really enjoy food.

The only problem we have is the mess, I am not the greatest cleaner I have been spending 15-20 minutes aftereeach meal cleaning the highchair, floor, walls, baby, me. Ds can crawl and has just started pulling himself up and cruising around the furniture so I can't just leave him sat on the floor with a toy whilst I clean up anymore.

We are staying at my mums and last night we got back from a day out really late. I bought a pouch of baby food and gave it to ds on a spoon, he ate it with no problem andthe clean up took about 20 seconds.

I feel like I am letting ds down if we give up on blw as he is doing so well, but I don't want to waste quality time with him cleaning up avoidable mess. I like the idea of ds having control of what and how much he eats, I really want to help him develop a healthy relationship with food as its something I have struggled with.

YouTheCat Fri 26-Jul-13 10:35:55

Do it your way. When you have time go for it with the BLW thing and when things are a rush, use a spoon.

He's still going to learn. I'd be very surprised if he gets to 7 and still can't manage to hit his mouth with food.

SwishSwoshSwoosh Fri 26-Jul-13 10:37:10

Why don't you just do a bit of both methods? I wouldn't bother with pouches, just give a bit of what you're eating, either finger food or mushed up.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 26-Jul-13 10:37:30

You are not letting him down, you are giving him meals. Either way is fine. Could you not just give him less messy stuff to eat himself and spoon feed the rest? It is not all or nothing, people have always given bits of finger food.

Also eating outside is good for dealing with mess, if that is possible for you.

I did BLW with dd and my SIL and BIL looked on with total horror at the mess grin. It is not for everyone. BUT they do get less messy.

ThePowerof3 Fri 26-Jul-13 10:39:08

I do a bit of both, I know some people think the two methods should be mutually exclusive ( I'm not sure why) whatever works for you and DS

Madlizzy Fri 26-Jul-13 10:39:21

Let that guilt go, it's unnecessary! You're not starving the poor child, you're feeing him and you'll always hand him the odd thing to eat anyway. Mine loved cream cheese finger sandwiches at that age. grin

QueenMaeve Fri 26-Jul-13 10:42:42

Don't sweat it op. As long as your baby gets fed does it really matter what way it happens? All 5 of my dc are great eaters, not at all fussy. You don't lead to baby led wean to get your children to be good eaters. For some meals I might have let them feed themselves, but most of the time I would not have had the time to faff about waiting for a baby to feed itself. You definitely have not let your baby down or harmed him in any way at all!

MildDrPepperAddiction Fri 26-Jul-13 10:43:15

With DS I spoonfed him and then gradually introduced finger foods. With DD I did both at the same time.

Why don't you try combining the two? Spoon feed breakfast, finger food lunch etc.

Do what feel right for you. As long as he gets good healthy food he will be fine. smile

YouTheCat Fri 26-Jul-13 10:45:27

I think it should be Mother Led Weaning instead anyway.

Offler Fri 26-Jul-13 10:45:42

I do both! When we have the time we get messy, if its a rush or out and about then he gets the spoon.

Mind you, as he's now 1, he wants to use the spoon too wink

mrsravelstein Fri 26-Jul-13 10:48:11

i did a bit of both with all 3 of my kids. ds1 is 12, so nobody did "BLW" then, they just gave their babies a mixture of ready made food and home cooked food and finger foods and non finger foods. it was way easier before you had to label it and make a decision one way or the other. just do it however it suits you, it'll turn out fine.

TrickyBiscuits Fri 26-Jul-13 10:48:57

I would wager that most people, in reality, do a bit of both smile

Personally, I tended to make one proper meal a day based on finger foods and the other meals / snacks as purées or yoghurts etc, perhaps with something to hold as well, so a slice of bread or carrot or whatever.

No way would I have had time to do a full on food smushing meal 3 times a day!

Morloth Fri 26-Jul-13 10:50:16

It doesn't matter you know.

It just doesn't matter.

I have always had a pet around for cleaning up baby food mess.

Most effective.

Ham69 Fri 26-Jul-13 10:50:34

Sounds like you're doing a great job OP, don't beat yourself up. When I gave my DD the pouches, I'd give them to her to suck rather than use a spoon (though at 7 months could get messy!). That may be worth practicing?

You're doing fine, he is eating and happy, please don't worry.
We went with a mix of BLW and spoon feeding, depending on the situation. If you haven't already, get yourself either a cheap shower curtain or plastic table cloth. I think I got a white shower curtain from Asda for under £2! I put it under the high chair and it made cleaning a lot easier, just shook it out and hosed it off in the garden! it's summer, so you can probably strip him off for the really messy meals. I used to wet a cloth and leave it on the really mucky bits to make it easier to wipe off later. Enjoy it, and get loads of pictures!

honeytea Fri 26-Jul-13 10:53:27

Thanks for all the advice smile doing a mixture is a great idea, dinner is the easiest messy meal as my dp is home so one if us cleans the mess and the other baths ds.

The other issue is that we go out everyday ( ds is an angle when we are out but he hates sitting at home) so often for lunch we are in a cafe or a friends living room or a baby group. I live in a country where they don't do blw so I find it quite stressful feeding ds in public.

neunundneunzigluftballons Fri 26-Jul-13 10:53:56

I found it really hard to beat myself up about baby led weaning. I gave tonnes of finger food vegetables, fruit, pasta etc but in the early days I spoon fed porridge and spaghetti bolengse until he got the hang of it. I had done something similar with his older sister but with a lot more spoon feeds. What I did not do was all there strategies that my mothers generation had to encourage the child to eat when if clearly was not bothered any more distraction and aeroplane etc and that worked for us.

I meant leave the cloth on the high chair, not the child!blush

YouTheCat Fri 26-Jul-13 10:56:09

If you're out and about, go for the least messy option.

If you want to keep doing BLW, then make it easier on yourself. Easy to clean high chair (ikea Antilop- can go straight into the dishwasher), shower curtain under the high chair which can be put straight into the washing machine at the end of the day (I just pick off the big bits during the day), strip baby down to nappy, wear an apron - although I mostly stand clear til they have finished most of their eating. I also find a muslin and a bowl of water cleans the baby better than endless baby wipes - it has a bigger surface area so can hit more mush faster!

That said, if it's not for you and is getting you down, then switch to a mixed method which is cleaner for you. It's your life after all!

traintracks Fri 26-Jul-13 10:58:36

Nothing wrong with doing both, I did only BLW with my daughter , then had a very hungry son whose appetite outstripped his ability to feed himself so he had a bit of both. In the end they'll all learn to eat! Don't beat yourself up.

meganorks Fri 26-Jul-13 10:58:48

Your not failing, just realizing that there are other things that are important - like quality time with baby not cleaning. Maybe try a mix of spoon fed and baby led. Sure that is what most people do anyway. Sometimes baby feeding themselves is good so you can do otherstuff or eat yourself. Sometimes getting some food in quickly and relatively pain free will work better. Just don't stress yourself over it. Your doing a good job!

WinnieFosterTether Fri 26-Jul-13 11:00:44

shower curtain under the high chair
yy definitely this - it makes it so much easier to tidy up afterwards.
If blw is making you stressed when you're out then just use another method. If you're stressed then your dc might pick up on that so just go for what works for you both,and try to enjoy it smile . I loved watching ds try lots of different foods and textures.

Tailtwister Fri 26-Jul-13 11:02:07

I did purely BLW with my first and a mixture with my second. I felt exactly the same as you about the mess (in fact I think I posted about it at the time!).

Do not feel you have failed at all. Just having the chance to have finger foods along side being spoon fed will likely give the same advantages. I think my second was better fed in a way, because he ended up having whatever we were having and not specially made food just for him.

cory Fri 26-Jul-13 11:02:24

I think most mothers do a bit of both- and always have done. Footage from remote tribes show mothers putting food into their children's mouths and children exploring food with their own hands. I seemed to have seen the same in nature films about primates. A mixture decided by the mother.

Sparklingbrook Fri 26-Jul-13 11:03:09

I used to take the high chair onto the patio in this weather so the mess was all outside.

That was nearly 14 years ago and I still remember all the mess. i didn't know it was BLW then it was just 'if you are going to refuse being spoon fed I am just going to bung it all on your highchair tray' weaning.

MoominsYonisAreScary Fri 26-Jul-13 11:03:50

Do both, it's really not important! Although ds3 is 2.4 and probably makes more mess than 6 month old ds4! Babies really doesn't care how they are fed. Do what's easy for you, maybe finger foods that arnt too messy and spoon feed the rest

magimedi Fri 26-Jul-13 11:04:48

Newspaper under high chair is great - you can just chuck it when the meal is over.

And you are not a failure. When your DS is older he won't remember any of this. Nor will you! grin

WinnieFosterTether Fri 26-Jul-13 11:04:50

oops, posted too soon, and your dc will be enjoying tasting food no matter what method you use.

hmsvictoria Fri 26-Jul-13 11:05:05

I tried BLW with DS, but it just wasn't his thing, nor mine TBH. He just got frustrated and very hungry with it, so he was spoonfed too. He is an excellent eater now (age 7), not fussy, stops when he's had enough, etc.

Honestly, it's not a big deal. Don't feel bad.

coraltoes Fri 26-Jul-13 11:08:12

my DD was pretty much spoon fed but had finger food from time to time. She fed herself with a spoon from little over 12m and is a very neat eater, not fussy, but will use her hands when the going gets tough (now 2.4). As long as he is exposed to a variety of flavours, textures, and enjoys his food please do not sweat it.

It sounds like you are doing a great job, and you really need to remove the stress from it. If that is the mess, you spoon feed the messy bits and let him munch on veg sticks, bread, fruit, chicken pieces etc (just maybe not the mash!)

Madmum24 Fri 26-Jul-13 11:14:01

Thank God mine were born before the BLW brigade were around! It was just considered eating in those days.....

OP do you really feel that your child is going to lose out if it is spoonfed a few meals? What is wrong with a spoon (genuine question!) Actually I saw a friend dipping her finger into her babies food and feeding her that way (apparently a spoon is a very big change for a baby to comprehend, she said).

OP mine were all spoon fed and no issues have followed, you seem to be doing a great job.

I find it quite ironic that most ecomentalists are very pro BLW but for me I just couldn't justify the food waste. Jus sayin'.

Dahlen Fri 26-Jul-13 11:16:41

I got a dog. wink

SoupDragon Fri 26-Jul-13 11:17:07

You are allowed to do both. The whole "baby led" bit of BLW is a bit of a red herring IMO. Provided your baby is happy with what you're doing and thriving that is all that really matters. Spoon feeding does not equate to force feeding.

scarletforya Fri 26-Jul-13 11:35:47

Baby Lead Weaning. Yeah. Mammy Lead Cleaning more like!

Flobbadobs Fri 26-Jul-13 11:43:03

BLW is just another way to describing what parents have been doing with their children for generations anyway. DS is 12 and I never once heard the phrase when he switched to solids, nor with DD1 and she's 7.
With DD2 it's the new buzz phrase and seems to be designed to bring out anxieties of whether you're doing it right, whether you're going to affect their eating patterns for the rest of their lives. For a whole week I actually followed the advice from a book passed onto me and got myself in a right tizz despite having successfully weaned 2 very good eaters!
I recycled the book and got on with it after my MIL took me out to lunch and gave me a very gentle earbashing...

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 26-Jul-13 11:50:31

who cares how the food gets in, as long as it gets in!?
I don't think I could handle the mess,but whatever works I reckon. I never get this " baby led" stuff anyway. I mean, would you encourage " teenager led driving"?
Sometimes its ok to teach em stuff!

tabulahrasa Fri 26-Jul-13 12:02:24

Mine are teenagers...I'd never heard of baby led weaning when mine were small.

I gave them various textures of things on spoons and finger food - sometimes even at the same meal. They sometimes had different food to me, sometimes it was the same but cut up and given to them to eat with their hands or sometimes mashed up a bit and on a spoon...it was basically a case of getting food in them in a way that worked for us both, not force feeding them when they were not hungry or not liking something and trying to give them a nice variety of foods.

I still don't think there was anything wrong with the way I did it and we've never had any food issues other than that stage they go through as children of being wary of vegetables that they soon grow out of.

sweetsummerlove Fri 26-Jul-13 12:02:33

disposable mats. lie one under the chair, after..fold it up..throw it out. Wipe hands. Wipe face. Wipe chair. Job done.

MiaowTheCat Fri 26-Jul-13 12:04:31

If your baby's happy and getting fed - assume that's the baby "leading"... fuck sticking rigidly to some bloody trademarked child rearing fad, and double triple quadruple fuck feeling guilty that you're not following some manual blindly that some one didn't write for the purposes of making babykind happier... they wrote it to make money.

Cakebaker35 Fri 26-Jul-13 13:06:36

You haven't failed, you've just seen the light smile As nearly everyone has said, most people do a mixture of the two, absolutely nothing wrong with it and in fact I think it's just the common sense approach. Frankly who wants to spend ages cleaning after every meal? Relax and enjoy all the extra time you'll be gaining by not having to clean up.

Ozziegirly Fri 26-Jul-13 13:24:54

BLW was just a term someone came up with to sell a book - it's not a rule, just another way of doing things.

We do spoon and finger foods. Spoon in porridge, mashed up helpings of our food and then he has crackers, toast, raisens, bits of pear and banana etc as well. As long as you're not forcing the spoon in when they don't want it, I can't see the problem really, DS makes it perfectly clear when he's full up.

Dahlen grin

I did both too. Dd was spoon-fed, and then always had a selection of stuff to play with herself. Sometimes I just spoon-fed, until she wanted to do it all herself - now that got messy! The reason for doing both for me was that her hunger outweighed her dexteritysmile Ds1 was spoon-fed puree, and neither of them have food issues.

Fairylea Fri 26-Jul-13 13:29:39

It really doesn't matter. Whatever way you do it you won't be waving them off to university or whatever with a suitcase full of ellas pouches smile

Pilgit Fri 26-Jul-13 13:30:18

news paper under the high chair - then you can fold it all up and just throw it away. Can you re-position him so he can't hit any walls?

Beastofburden Fri 26-Jul-13 14:35:21

meh, never heard of it, mine are too old. Does it mean letting them have a go?

Summer is here. Let him eat his lunch naked on the lawn and leave the debris for the birds. Indoor meals yuo control a bit more.

The great Libby Purves book (how not to be a prefect mother) used to say feed them naked, in the bath.

or, as someone said, get a dog.

Beastofburden Fri 26-Jul-13 14:36:32

to dog lovers only a joke, dog is for life not for lunchtime, dont get a dog unless you will love it and look after it right, I do agree with that smile

i don't see why you have to give up on BLW just because you don't like mess!

here's what we do - wherever DD sits, we place a big messy mat underneath (those big sheets of plastic you get from wilko's, or a shower curtain, or any plastic sheeting is fine)
when she's finished eating, it gets folded up and thrown in the bath.
then the shower gets sprayed onto it (when we can be bothered) and left on the side to dry.

if it's the food mess, then just give her stuff that doesn't have a sauce. (or, if it does, then change her clothes when she's finished - again throw it all in the bath)

Fakebook Fri 26-Jul-13 14:41:13

You don't have to let him get messy everytime. I never understand this BLW bullshit. You ARE ALLOWED to do different things aswell you know? Some days let him have a go himself, and some days feed him yourself. I did whatever came naturally with both my children and dd was self feeding at 20m and DS feeds himself at 18m.

MrsOakenshield Fri 26-Jul-13 14:47:58

I hated doing BLW as, at 6/7 months, I was still all over the place and eating shite so I still had to make something half decent for DD to eat and it all seemed like such hard work. Abandoned it and went on to a mixture of purees and mashed up stuff and Ella's pouches when we were out - we were both so much happier. At age 1, she firmly removed the spoon from my hand and started feeding herself.

I really wish I hadn't ever bothered with BLW as I found it so stressful. I bloody hate that book as well, the implication that if you spoon feed your child x, y and z bad things with proceed to happen. Bollocks. It's a fucking spoon, not a loaded gun.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Fri 26-Jul-13 14:51:15

I do a bit of both. BLW when I feel too lazy to sit and spoon stuff into his mouth and spoon-feeding when I feel too lazy to clean up the inevitable carnage from him feeding himself.

At first, spoon feeding was a nightmare because he just dribbled out the mush onto his clothes before smearing it liberally all over the place. BLW was less messy then. Nowadays he's much better at swallowing the mouthful of stuff, so it's not a bother. When he feeds himself, he does tend to throw at least half of it on the floor though. I can't win!

FeegleFion Fri 26-Jul-13 14:54:13

I started a thread on this around 2 months ago as my DS just will not take to BLW. Even at almost 8 months, he wants to be fed and hates anything with even the tiniest 'bits' in confused

The best advice I got from a really insightful MNetter was that I was being led by my baby. I'm happy, he's happy and I'll just keep trying to get him to try more texture and finger foods until he's ready.

i don't think it's necessary to get messy everywhere either - just hand pieces of food bit by bit onto the plate - then there's not enough floating around to be messy (and baby's don't like the whole plateful of stuff to choose from)

language Fri 26-Jul-13 15:01:22

Topic poster, you are doing very well! I have 3 children, and was only introduced to blw with my 3rd/ I tried it a couple of times, thought it was utter nonsense and happily went back to making puree! I think that a child is too young at 7 months to feed himself, but from 12 months onwards he/she should just eat at the family table, the same food as everyone else. Good luck and don't be impressed by all these modern theories.

CornflowerB Fri 26-Jul-13 15:16:32

Is there any evidence to suggest that BLW has an effect on future eating habits or produces a different outcome to purées and finger food? I mean proper evidence from trials comparing one method with another. I seriously doubt it. BLW sounds like torture to me - as if life wasn't messy enough with a baby. I have two children aged 9 and 5 who were weaned before BLW existed and who sit up at the table and eat what is put in front of them with a knife and fork properly most of the time... As do most of their peers. In my experience issues arise if children are not introduced to a variety of foods, tastes and textures at an early age. I don't think the spoon is the issue. Am happy to be corrected but only by someone with actual peer reviewed evidence to back them up!!! OP, give yourself a break and do what suits you. This is not like cot death advice where there is actual evidence.

MrsOakenshield Fri 26-Jul-13 15:25:55

I doubt it too. My niece was weaned on baby food, with a spoon - aged 4 she will eat just about anything, no problem at all.

The view of the woman who wrote the BLW book seemed to be that if you spoon feed then the baby isn't in charge of how much they eat, and end up having food shoved down their throats by that dreadful spoon, and that results in a child/adult who can't regulate their own appetite and end up overeating. And possibly that happens, you make a portion of food a la Annabel Karmel (or use a jar) and think that the baby has to have it all. But all it means it that if you're spoonfeeding to be aware that the baby doesn't have to have it all. That's all.

I read some horrible comment once about parents who did spoonfeeding scraping round the jar/bowl to get up every last spoonful - um, maybe that's because the baby was enjoying it? There's a definitely a lot of people putting their own interpretation on others' actions to justify their own, a lot of one-up-manship about BLW.

MrsOakenshield Fri 26-Jul-13 15:27:04

not on this thread, I hasten to add, where people seem to be very sensible about it. But there are evangelists out there, and they are a bore.

CornflowerB - the woman who started it all, Gill Rapley, did a thesis on it, but I don't know what all her outcomes were.

have a look at www.babyledweaning.com

Xiaoxiong Fri 26-Jul-13 15:51:24

I loved the idea of BLW but DS had other ideas - he would inhale anything if it arrived on a spoon in puree form, but when given food to reach for, he was always so interested in the texture when squishing it in his hands that it never made it to his mouth. So we did both, and over time the proportion that comes on a spoon has reduced as the amount he feeds himself has risen.

Now he is 19 months he will happily eat all sorts, but still chants to himself sometimes "eat it, don't squish it, eat it" because he hears us saying that so much to him!

thecakeisalie Fri 26-Jul-13 16:18:17

I did BLW with both of my DC they both took to it all really well and with ds2 there wasn't a puree in sight (with ds1 he had a few purees as I was still a bit unsure). I personally don't see how its so much more messy than puree. I mean when they get to the point where they want the spoon themselves then its just as messy as blw if not more so. My boys are not 3.5 & 2 and there's still mess to be cleared up from meals on the table and on the floor.

I think one of the main things I preferred about blw over purees is babies get to explore the texture of food and it helps teach them about managing their gag reflex earlier. They end up eating finger food eventually anyway so never saw the point of painstakingly pureeing every fruit and veg in sight when I could just give them a bit of what we were eating. Maybe I'm just lazy!

If you not getting on with blw its no biggie just use purees. Kids = mess so personally I just got on with it.

WetFakeUggs Fri 26-Jul-13 17:14:54

In the nicest possible way, get a grip

So many threads on here from women 'feeling like failures' for this reason and that- not being able to bf, taking pain relief in labour, working, not working...the list goes on

Would men berate themselves like this?

No one is perfect and even those that appear to be doing everything by the perfect parenting book are probably struggling in other, less obvious ways. It's just breastfeeding, natural childbirth, BLW that we seem to use as shorthand for perfect parenting. They're not.

FeegleFion Fri 26-Jul-13 17:20:26

Can I just add to my original post a little up thread?

DS is my DC2. DD is almost 15 and, no, we didn't have BLW back then.

My DD has never been a problem in terms of fussy eating. She has been eating foods such as sushi, seafood, offal (liver) medium rare beef and lamb etc. since she was old enough to try them.

Her palate is actually much more mature than a lot of adults I know including my own...liver, sushi? Yeuch!

So please, just do what's right for you and your baby.

CornflowerB Fri 26-Jul-13 19:30:15

I don't see a thesis on that website. but you can buy the book and donate ( to what I'm not sure)...hmmm... I can see that there could be an issue with babies/ children being forced to finish everything on their plate, but anyone with a bit of sense can tell when a baby has had enough to eat. Generally they keep their mouths shut! Don't get me wrong - I think it's great when babies eat their food themselves, especially nibbling a floret of broccoli - so cute, but really in the interest of time and sanity, a bit of help with a spoon is just fine.

RubyrooUK Fri 26-Jul-13 19:41:16

I have a three year old but clearly failed to read any weaning manuals properly so did a mix. I will probably do the same with my baby when he gets to six months.

My thought process was this: "Oh, he might like nibbling on this finger food. Oh he loves this spoon too and he's pretty good at putting it in his mouth. Well, I suppose it's useful to use a spoon and fun to explore with your fingers."

DS always got the hunger anger so it was useful that he could use a spoon to inhale some porridge. And I could eat my own dinner if he had some of his own finger foods to play with.

I hadn't even considered feeling like I had failed regarding weaning. I have failed now he's three and only wants to eat fish fingers. grin

Bookwolf32 Fri 26-Jul-13 19:41:56

My baby is 8 months and I was going to go the BLW route. What has happened is that if it's sloppy I spoon feed because my DD gets annoyed that it falls off the spoon before she can get it in her mouth. If the food is something she can hold and manipulate herself then I let her have a go. I don't do anything special for her to eat and don't do any mushing. It amazes me how quickly they work out how to chew even without any teeth!

Loveitall Fri 26-Jul-13 19:47:49

I've just started weaning my lb and I was going to go the blw way. But decided eventually to just do a mixture....which is effectively what everyone has been doing for years without the need for labelling. He has been having purees etc on a spoon ... Bt he grabs the spoon straight off me and pops it in his mouth...all is good in the world smile

KingRollo Fri 26-Jul-13 19:50:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

traceofinsanity Sat 27-Jul-13 21:37:01

I did blw with my dd and hated it! The mess is horrendous and it does take a lot longer to feed in this way versus puréed as far as I can see. My friends mostly thought I was mad when they saw it all in action, but I had convinced myself that des would end up a fussy water if I didn't. 2.5 years on and only one of my friends kids is fussy with food, and actually mine is probably fussier than some. I've just started to wean ds who is almost 6 months and I have been dreading the blw thing so considering doing a mix of both methods. Since reading the above posts, will definitely be introducing purées, tomorrow!
One thing I've learnt over the last few years is that as a mother you can beat yourself up about absolutely everything (and I have), but in the grand scheme of things, most of it doesn't matter a bit. The best way is what suits you and your little one best and creates the least amount of stress all round smile

Bearfrills Sat 27-Jul-13 22:47:04

I tried BLW with DD and had to stop as she was choking, not gagging (which is relatively noisy) but actual silently-turning-purple-unable-to-breathe choking. She couldn't seem to get the hang of chewing and would just swallow her food whole. After the third or fourth incident of the high chair being knocked flying by yanking her out of it and holding her upside down, slamming a hand on her back, we decided to switch to puréed food. Much better. No more choking. We gradually reintroduced finger foods alongside spoon feeding so for example if she was having baked beans from a spoon I'd give her some little fingers of toast to hold or if I was feeding her yoghurt I'd give her some banana to feed herself. She's almost 2yo now and feeds herself just fine, no more mess than any other 2yo and 95% of the food goes directly into her mouth (the other 5% is usually nicked by 3yo DS).

You've got to do what's right for you and your child, BLW is one way of doing things but - like lots of parenting choices - it doesn't work for everyone.

eyebrowsfurrowed Sat 27-Jul-13 22:50:32

no you do whatever you think is best

Maverick66 Sat 27-Jul-13 23:08:54

Hi mums can I just offer you this simple piece of advice. My children are aged 23,21 and 14. The term "baby led weaning" had not been invented then ( to my knowledge) nor had the Internet and all the super nanny programmes etc My advice would be ILW ( instinct led weaning) ie do what suits you and baby, stop stressing, stop with researching every little aspect of parenthood trust your instincts and remember parenthood is a marathon and not a sprint!

exoticfruits Sat 27-Jul-13 23:12:37

Weaning is a very short period - the aim being to get them to eat family meals. How you get there matters not one jot, so do what suits you. It also has no bearing whatsoever on how they eat later on.
We all eat things like soup and yoghurt that needs a spoon, I can't see why the baby misses out. I think that the idea stems from thinking that you can get a spoonful of something down if the baby doesn't want it- a sheer impossibility.
People have always done a mixture.
I suppose the good point is that you do away with commercial jars.
If you are letting the baby lead then you do what suits the baby, some like purée. It is, sensibly, mother led weaning and the mother decides what, and when, the baby will eat.

exoticfruits Sat 27-Jul-13 23:13:29

Well said, Maverick- same here!

eyebrowsfurrowed Sat 27-Jul-13 23:18:32

on the flip side my baby is ten months old. i started baby led weaning giving her parsnip. that fine buit try and add carbohydrate and meat in the mix and it took hours to get through a meal - where the play time and walks? for me, it was feed her all the important stuff and let her have toast and fruit to learn. We are still in the process but if you are getting worried it's not even worth considering just make it easy for you both x

maddening Sat 27-Jul-13 23:21:29

Not feeding your dc at all would be failing - do whatever works smile

If you are enjoying it other than the mess I would suggest a bumbo with a tray and a wipeable floor matt - we did this for a few months and found it worked well with blw - ds was lower sp smaller radius of food debris and the bumbo fitted in the sink and was washable as was the floor matt - ds wore one of those plastic back to front shirt bibs so it was a case of wipe face and hands, whip off the bib , remove ds and take bumbo and matt to the sink.

Lazyjaney Sat 27-Jul-13 23:23:29

Do what works, most theories don't survive contact with babies.

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:31:07

Most theories assume that babies are the same. The babies have not read the books and they are all different anyway.

lucamom Sun 28-Jul-13 07:34:25

If it helps, the mess does get much less-to the point where my niece still has to wear a bib aged two whereas my daughter hasn't worn one since about 12 months. BLW naturally makes the child a neater eater!

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:42:26

Again- all children are different. Mine all had a mixture. DS 1 was an extremely neat eater- he hated his hands being messy. DS 2 didn't care and was messy. DS3 was again a neat eater- he probably had the others to copy.

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:45:12

I know twins now- who are now 2yrs and had (horrible term) BLW and one is neat and one is messy- it is the way they approached food from the start and nothing to do with the method.

katiecubs Sun 28-Jul-13 07:48:07

I don't even understand why BLW has a name. I feed DS 'food' some is mushy and some is hard. They are not mutually exclusive.

SoupDragon Sun 28-Jul-13 07:52:47

BLW naturally makes the child a neater eater!

LOLOL. No it doesn't.

Rosa Sun 28-Jul-13 07:53:46

Maverick 66 I agree 100% .. do what is right for you and your baby.. Purees with lumps and a spoon why the heck not. A few strips , large bits fine. Bit of what you are eating fine .. Its not a challenge or obligatory do what your instinct says.

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:57:07

It seems mad to me to all sit eating yoghurt and not give it to the baby because they would need to be offered it upon a spoon! And even madder to say they are a neater eater aged 2years because they were not offered food on a spoon!

KingRollo Sun 28-Jul-13 08:22:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca Sun 28-Jul-13 08:39:36

It's a fad. I think more finger foods for weaning kids is a plus but kids' food also has to fit in with the parents and with getting enough food into the kids.
My kids were pre-BLW and eat nearly everything now. I think kids eating with parents and seeing their parents enjoying their food and no emotional fusses at meal times are the important thing. They generally had our food in a suitable format for their age.

MiaowTheCat Sun 28-Jul-13 08:44:15

I love some of the claims made for these fads/things people have done for ages but now have a fancy name attached to them.

BLW=automatic neat eating... bollocks
A child who is going to be a neat eater anyway = a neat eater
A child like me who you could tell exactly what was on the school lunch menu by what had made it into my hair everyday = never going to be a neat eater

I think the thing that turned me off BLWing (apart from the fucking bitch fanatic of it who accused me of "ramming food into my child's throat") was the stupid lengths people were going to to make stuff that wasn't easily accessible as finger food - fingerfoodable. Soup is runny, we eat runny things with a spoon for obvious reasons and people were tying themselves up in knots trying to invent ways to make it something that the baby could get in their mouths with their hands for fear of somehow "failing" with the grand prescriptive masterplan of child rearing if they let a spoon pass the child's mouths.

It's a spoon FFS - not a bloody Scud Missile!

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 08:59:24

Love it Miaow! I am all for bringing back common sense.

soapysam Sun 28-Jul-13 10:10:42

No one will look at your child in 20 years time and be able to tell what method of weaning you used, or indeed when they were potty trained, how long they had a comfort blanket or even if you rocked them to sleep every night singing 'Beautiful Kittenfish' at a whisper directly into their ear until their beautiful eyes fluttered closed, then lay them in their beds as stealthily as a ninja so as not to wake them at bloody 4 years old

Mix it up, don't be so harsh on yourself flowers

Ipp3 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:18:08

Oh miaow the cat I loved your post on page two. Couldnn't agree more!

Ipp3 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:20:22

And your post on page four, miaow. You are cool!

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 10:30:05

I'm sure that before BLW became the thing do do, most of us did it in some form anyway.

There was always something that you would cut up for baby to feed themselves.

Treagues Sun 28-Jul-13 10:55:13

Dear OP

I was a MN regular when BLW came to be 'a thing' and on this site in particular it was helped along by a few well-known MNers getting in on the game and occasionally talking down to people who had the temerity to mention spoons. It was quite ridiculously obvious at the time that the head honcho woman (a hv iirc, not an MNer) was looking for a book deal and she got it.

The whole thing was created in part as a genuine reaction to people opening three jars a day for their babies (fair enough, processed food shouldn't make up the whole of anyone's diet) but also as 'territory marking' - if you can corner the market with an acronym and a manifesto, you can make a bit of a name for yourself on the talk/book circuit and some money as well. No matter that the manifesto is not revolutionary and many people do it anyway. Baby matters seem to attract a lot of this (sleep/routine anyone?) probably because we are all feeling a bit out of our depths and it's easy to induce guilt about our precious babes.

The way you're feeding your ds is entirely normal and all the best to you smile

ZolaBuddleia Sun 28-Jul-13 11:09:17

Have you got long sleeved bibs? The SillyBillyz ones are best, I got mine on Ebay. I never had to change DD's clothes after a meal.

cory Sun 28-Jul-13 11:30:56

If you get to the stage where the baby can't join in an ordinary family meal and have what everybody else is having because it would mean using <sharp intake of breath> an implement, then I hardly think it is either baby led or very natural.

Can't remember if I put it in my previous post but one of my most treasured photos is of 1yo ds in his high chair lovingly spoon-feeding his 4 yo sister: his pride and their mutual enjoyment of the situation shine out of that picture.

Why don't you do one meal a day with spoon, to avoid the mess?

I know how you feel, I hate having to clean everything 3 times a day but with time I got faster and more efficient at that.

mrsjay Sun 28-Jul-13 11:40:33

oh lovey just feed your baby honestly just feed him what he likes BLW weaning is just weaning it is all food you are not letting anybody down by not follwing a tredny way of giving your baby food,

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 11:54:50

Why even think about it? Just do a meal with everyone else and use a spoon if necessary.
I think that we should have some classic MN sayings and Miaow's
it's a spoon FFS- not a bloody Scud Missile could go down. grin it might at least make people pause when they are taking themselves too seriously over things that don't matter.

roundtable Sun 28-Jul-13 11:57:43

I suppose I do baby led weaning, but ds does use a spoon. In fact nowhere in the books etc does it say no spoons allowed.

However, I do firmly believe that different methods work for different babies, puree, finger foods, mashed foods and so on.

The thing that I personally feel is important is not relying on jars/pouches all the time. Fresh is always going to be more nutritious but sometimes needs must. Plus stopping feeding a baby when they've clearly had enough. It makes me cringe when I see parents encouraging babies to eat more, especially when it's because they want them to finish those massive jars.

It's not the method. It's the variety, the quantity and the nutritious value of the food the baby is eating.

I do think this only applies to babies, once they get to toddlerhood, all bets are off as they use food as a weapon of control. grin

Yanbu, go with what works for your family. Good luck op, it goes so fast. smile

mrsjay Sun 28-Jul-13 11:58:31

it's a spoon FFS- not a bloody Scud Missile

grin

BridgetBidet Sun 28-Jul-13 12:04:46

I did Annabel Karmel and my baby eats anything. He adores fruit and veg, loves stinky cheese, he can use a spoon at 16 months he eats with his hands when the food is suitable and his diet is really balanced because he's had every kind of food since he was tiny regardless of whether it created a mess or not.

The human race has thrived for hundreds of thousands of years without baby led weaning - don't beat yourself up because you've no followed the latest fashion. In 30 years you will laugh about this because it matters so little.

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 12:25:43

It depends entirely on your DC - DS3 loved everything, including stinky cheese, DS2 very conservative tastes and suspicious of the new- 20 months apart, same foods, same methods.

FullOfChoc Sun 28-Jul-13 12:31:22

It is messy! In summer I put the highchair outside!

I also bought a cheap shower curtain and spread that out under the high chair to try and save the carpet.

Squitten Sun 28-Jul-13 12:39:04

Do what you like OP - they all learn to eat in the end. My BLW is the better eater but my hideously fussy puree-weaned child did eventually get there!

However, do bear in mind that whether you start with a spoon or a chicken leg, they all have to learn to feed themselves eventually and that is going to be messy whatever you do. My eldest is nearly 5 and can now be trusted not to destroy his clothes and the table during a meal. My 2.5yr old is a chaos zone.

So in many ways you do just have to get over your hatred of the mess. It will come no matter what!

RubyThePirate Sun 28-Jul-13 12:48:21

This is 'the small stuff'. Don't sweat it smile

If you're both happy, it'll be fine.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't BLW'd myself and I love food in a healthy way (and use a knife and fork and everything).

Treagues Sun 28-Jul-13 14:11:00

"I did Annabel Karmel" - doesn't this just mean "I consulted a cookbook written by Annabel Karmel"? confused

LeBFG Sun 28-Jul-13 14:32:53

To whoever was asking, there is one peer reviewed paper comparing BLW with standard weaning. They found NO DIFFERENCE in fussiness at about 2/3 years old. There were VERY SLIGHT differences in favoured food groups. There was a difference in BMI between the groups (BLW were lighter - some underweight, other group heavier, some overweight) which led to everyone saying BLW babies were healthier (less likely to get obese) but after looking at the paper, the BLWers were also far more likely to be bf and bf for much longer (think 20 sommat like that). So it was clear as crystal why the BLWer were lighter hmm hmm.

CornflowerB Mon 29-Jul-13 14:00:08

Thanks LeBGF, that's interesting.
It does seem a shame that BLW has come yet another stick mothers to beat themselves with...

CornflowerB Mon 29-Jul-13 14:01:31

...become yet another stick for mothers to beat themselves with

sorry Cornflower - i didn't mean the thesis was on the website, but that the website was the website she started.
(information about BLW on that website, and where to find the research, rather than it being on that website)

The thing is, I don't understand why you need to do purees at all.

okay, use a spoon - it doesn't matter, just to get the food into their mouth, but it doesn't have to be pureed.

Put the normal chunks of food onto a spoon, put the spoon into their mouth, let them move it around with their teeth/gums/tongue and explore it.
I don't see how purees make it easier to feed a baby.

KingRollo Mon 29-Jul-13 16:53:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Treagues Mon 29-Jul-13 17:00:27

I eat soup
mashed potato
yogurt etc

We sometimes eat what is essentially pureed food as part of a normal and healthy diet. If we agree that nobody should eat the same kind of food all the time...well what exactly is wrong with puree?

but you're not supposed to start before 6 months anymore.

Treagues - yes, I get that, I meant why puree things that aren't meant to be pureed?

Sparklingbrook Mon 29-Jul-13 17:02:43

Really Unique? Something else has changed since 1999. I weaned mine when the HV told me to, probably about 5 months.

Viviennemary Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:02

I agree with a mixture of both. I can't see the point of letting babies do this self feeding thing and more ends up in their hair and all over the floor than actually inside them. I don't mind a bit of mess but there are limits.

parkin2010 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:07:15

To be honest I had a baby 2.5 years ago and never noticed this term baby led weaning. Since then it seems to have become the new fad and something daft women get worked up and competitive about. Pouches, giving them bits of food = it doesn't matter. Speaking as someone who didn't know about it, my toddler eats when she is hungry and hss a good diet, please don't worry.

Treagues Mon 29-Jul-13 17:08:05

I can't think of that many foods which 'aren't meant to be' pureed: I mean, you can have pretty much any fruit in puree form as sauce or dessert
Pureed fish and meat: pate, meat paste, mousse
Any old veg can become soup
Grains and pulses become dhal, soups, porridge, congee, creme de riz
Bread sauce

I'm being slightly silly but to make the point that the idea of 'baby food' is a completely artificial construction anyway. What we are talking about is food and the idea of telling parents that a particular form of food they are familiar with and enjoy is not suitable for babies for some spurious reason is ridiculous.

bigkidsdidit Mon 29-Jul-13 17:08:36

Yy Miaow

I remember someone saying they gave their child porridge by baking it into strips the child could pick up confused

Utterly daft. Just feed it some porridge

bigkidsdidit Mon 29-Jul-13 17:11:47

Unique recent data suggests weaning at six months vs five increases diabetes risk

ref

As an aside, I think if we swing back to five months ish BLW will fall out of favour

KingRollo Mon 29-Jul-13 17:11:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Treagues - i think you're being deliberately obtuse now.

you know what I mean.
if you eat pasta with veg, the only part that's liquid is the sauce - you eat the rest as solid.
same with roast dinner - you mash the potatoes, but everything else is solid lumps of food.

I've never fed DD mashed/pureed anything that I wasn't eating as mash or puree.

re: before 6 months - The guidelines in the UK are 6 months unless you've got reasons/advice to start before 6 months (and a lot of "advice" to start before 6 months is outdated medical professionals who don't know the 6month guidelines) the reason that it's 6 months is because that's when the gut is sufficiently developed to digest non-milk food, and that it's also a time when the motor skills of the baby are developed enough that they can handle the food (in their mouths as well as in their hands)
I see no sense of starting before 6 months - why hurry it? Why is it so important to people to get their babies (or their grandchildrenhmm ) onto "solids" when they just start with purees anyway? which do nothing at all for the baby's development except give them a different flavour. (they already know how to swallow from milk!)
Purees don't help with chewing or manipulation or tongue movement (which all can help towards development of speech), and the first things you tend to puree are foods that have very little nutritional value anyway.
Children are much less likely to choke on food if they have always been given the opportunity to manipulate their own food in their own mouths. (give a child an apple puree so they get used to the apple taste, then give them a piece of apple - why wouldn't they automatically think that they're supposed to just straight swallow it without chewing first?)

"the idea of telling parents that a particular form of food they are familiar with and enjoy is not suitable for babies"

so that means that purees are bad then?
confused

bigkids - i give my DD the bowl and the spoon - the idea of baking the porridge to make it pickupable is because there's an assumption that a spoon is too difficult to manoeuvre.

I have always just given DD the spoon as well. Pre-loaded if needs be to give her the idea, but I didn't feed her with it in the same way.

when she was about 15 months, we got a parenting email from Boots saying that she would be thinking about starting to use a spoon herself now - at that point, she'd been using a spoon by herself with very high % success for about 6 months.

bigkidsdidit Mon 29-Jul-13 17:37:20

I did the same, either spoon fed him or gave him the spoon, depending n time or how hungry he was. Obviously you are not one of the more obsessed of the BLWers!

Treagues Mon 29-Jul-13 17:47:42

I don't know how you read that as 'purees are bad' because they are bloody lovely.

Yes I'm being deliberately silly because it is ridiculous. The whole thing is complete tosh started to give someone an artificial sense of importance and purpose and a book deal. The by-product is a load of women (mainly) who sense there are rules which they need to follow but can't, quite, all the time and who end up feeling guilty that they aren't doing the right thing. The 'right thing' in this case has been cooked up to satisfy someone else's career aims. Broadly speaking, we all need a varied diet, food comes in varying textures including pureed and is eaten with a variety of implements including spoons and children will develop in time to eat/use many or all of these without much help from us. Don't let your kid choke on anything. There really isn't much more to say.

It's exactly the same thing as sleep training/the naughty step/potty training boot camp etc et bloody cetera: first pathologize the existing possibilities, then invent a remedy which fits conveniently into book/workshop/forum format. Ignore the reality which is that there are hundreds of variations of child and parenting and most work out fine. Recognise that people need a thesis to cling to and will defend it vociferously and nastily (not you UniqueandAmazing but ask me about MN a few years ago: ouch). Ker-ching.

mrsjay Mon 29-Jul-13 17:51:35

so that means that purees are bad then?

yes they are evil just about as bad as spoons but not quite wink

a baby can develop very well with puree as long as the nutrients are getting into them then what is the big deal ,puree introduces texture and taste then you move onto bigger lumps puree is not like milk at all it is different, and im sure a babies development isn't affected if they have a bit of pureed fruit,

PriyaKoothrappali Mon 29-Jul-13 18:16:10

You could feed him but not use purées as he's been doing fine without them (they tended to bung DD up). That way you do control the mess. Also, I recommend a large shower curtain pr waterproof table cloth and a bumbo or equivalent. DD sat in her bumbo (with only a nappy on) and was able to make a complete mess, could reach out and pick up the food she'd dropped and then I would wipe up all the excess, shove the curtain in the wash and wipe DD down. I also have dogs who are tremendously handy at this stage smile. My friend out her DS in a bumbo inside a plastic tray. That contained a lot of mess. I also fed DD in the middle of the room and sat down on the floor with her to eat.

itsallaboutyoubaby Mon 29-Jul-13 18:25:58

I Second the get a grip comment.

So much unnecessary angstin your post. And the bit about missing out on quality time? Unless you don't get to see him much I think it's a bit odd to consider 15 mins housework in that way.

Please don't take this the wrong way but have you always been so anxious or is it only since the baby?

LeBFG Mon 29-Jul-13 19:11:29

There are some good BLW myths you're promulgating UniqueAndAmazing

the reason that it's 6 months is because that's when the gut is sufficiently developed to digest non-milk food this is contentious - there's lots of info that says the gut is ready before 6 months, and in addition, there is evidence that waiting till 6 months can INCREASE risk of certain allergies

that it's also a time when the motor skills of the baby are developed enough that they can handle the food (in their mouths as well as in their hands) ONLY relevant to BLWers

Why is it so important to people to get their babies (or their grandchildrenhmm ) onto "solids" when they just start with purees anyway? which do nothing at all for the baby's development except give them a different flavour. because they LIKE it.

Purees don't help with chewing or manipulation or tongue movement (which all can help towards development of speech) so what? Are you suggesting that oldskool weaners have problems developing speach?

Children are much less likely to choke on food if they have always been given the opportunity to manipulate their own food in their own mouths. Sorry, this is just a myth - no evidence. Most choking I would expect is caused by running/talking etc with mouth full. I find it VERY hard to believe that oldskool weaners are coking everywhere before the invention of BLWing!

<Apologies Unique, this ^^ is not a personal attack - I've just heard so MANY of these sorts of myths being peddled that I've got pent-up weaning agression>

exoticfruits Mon 29-Jul-13 19:15:40

It is a load of tosh! I like purées myself- I think it utterly ridiculous to say that a baby can never have them. You are aiming to have them eat anything- I wouldn't be pleased if someone snatched things away from me and said - exotic mustn't have purée she always has to have lumps! Half the enjoyment of food is different textures as well as different flavours.
It really does not matter! Just give them what you are having- if it needs a spoon use a spoon!

Honestly, whatever suits you and your family is fine.

DS3 didn't really start wanting food until he was 7 months, DTS were 5 months and couldn't wait. I'm not even going to tell you if I did BLW or purees, suffice it to say, at four and a half and 20 months they all eat successfully!

LeBFG Mon 29-Jul-13 20:24:05

Plus, most people can't just give bits of mushed up food to their babies because of the salt content (I remember one BLWer saying how she made her own salt-free bread each day hmm hmm). Also, how do you mush a sandwich? Or a steak? Or field musherooms?

bigkidsdidit Mon 29-Jul-13 20:42:45

Or in my case - share your dinner of gin and crisps blush

KingRollo Mon 29-Jul-13 22:41:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Treagues - i actually agree with your POV

i don't think pushing purees into a baby's mouth to make sure they eat some prescribed amount of food is right, but that if you allow the baby to dictate, they'll eat what they need (and just focus on the milk until they've worked out that ooh, food takes the hunger away)

that's my POV

don't worry and don't sweat. saying you've given up on BLW and then stressing yourself because you want to spoon feed to make sure they've got enough food going in is insane.
as is the OP's point of giving purees just because it's less messy.

you could always meet halfway. whenever we're worried about something being too messy, we just give DD less messy food.

LeBFG i don't agree with your destruction of my reasoning.
i don't believe they're myths.

and i know you wouldn't personally attack me, i'd tell mummy.

so nur.

anyway, DD has never had a puree (with provisos detailed before), but she prefers us to feed her hmm
ie: she will refuse to eat some things until it has been put up to her mouth (when she's feeling lazy)

she's never fed the food this way until she forces us to, but if you leaver her to it, she will sometimes just not eat it.

the easiest way with her is to sit her on my lap and eat my food (plate in front of us both) until she decides she wants it.
then she does the head bop and cranes her neck until she has nabbed the food out of my hand.

not ideal, and probably not BLW, but she thinks it's fun.
(she does eat food without this game as well)

"Plus, most people can't just give bits of mushed up food to their babies because of the salt content"

we don't cook with salt

(part from bread, but it's a tiny amount in a loaf - we do make our own bread bcause we're avoiding soya)

I don't wash with "if you don't introduce solids until 6 months you're more likely to develop allergies"
I just don't believe that can be true.

DD's eczema seems almost certain to be dairy (or soya- the heat means we haven't re-introduced soya because we don't want to mask symptoms), she wasn't given solids until 26 weeks (at 25 weeks, she stole some of my dinner, but she wasn't given it!), but she had eczema possibly from birth (or a precursor to eczema).

sorry for keep posting,...

LeBFG Tue 30-Jul-13 13:51:42

Well, those are your beliefs Unique. I don't think it's a good idea to promote them as facts.

i'm not - i'm just stating what Gill Rapley's book says (from what she found)

MrsOakenshield Tue 30-Jul-13 14:12:56

I agree with LeBFG - Unique - do you have any research to back up what you are saying? Because it sounds like you are just repeating what's in the Gill Rapley book.

As I said, I gave up on BLW and went on to purees/mushed up food and spoonfeeding. No problem with speech and she could feed herself from aged one. No problem introducing different textures. Perfectly able to regulate her own appetite (is that the right phrase?) Same with most people I know.

People wean their babies in a number of ways, whatever suits both them and their baby. But I don't like these suggestions that if you do it one way and not another, it will result in things like delayed speech and obesity. Show me good, solid, scientific research published in a peer-reviewed journal and I'll give it the time of day. If not - well, it's no different to the bollocks 'Dr' Gillian used to come out with.

LeBFG Tue 30-Jul-13 14:15:31

So your beliefs and hers correspond. They aren't supported by the facts.

To be fair, lots of this advice (no food before 6 months) stems from the WHO guidelines, which were the best advice at the time. The guidelines are 10 years out of date and newer research is pointing to the 4-6m time frame as a good time to start solids.

All the stuff about learning to chew and choking etc is based on zilch. Diddly-squat.

daytoday Tue 30-Jul-13 14:37:38

Surely all bloody weaning is baby led? Have you ever tried to get a baby to eat anything it didn't want to?

I find the term so utterly irritating. Like baby led walking, or baby led breathing? Or baby led pooing.

The only key to enjoyable weaning is to try really hard not to get stressed and accept all babies are born with different palates and different appetites. It's a joy to get a child who loves eating but some are just too busy and not tht fussed with food.

MrsOakenshield Tue 30-Jul-13 14:51:39

LeBGF - is that to me? My beliefs and Unique's? Because I'm querying the assertions Unique is coming out with, that sound exactly like what is written in the Gill Rapley book, and which I'm doubtful about.

thefuturesnotourstosee Tue 30-Jul-13 14:56:39

We're doing a mixture of the two.

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT give your BLW baby cous cous EVER

SuedeEffectPochette Tue 30-Jul-13 15:05:55

I am a firm believer that a happy mummy makes happy children. If you like BLW go for it. If mess stresses you spoon feed them till they are at least two then hand over to dry food until they are about seven. No problems! I virtually did (am doing) the latter, but I hate clearing up mess! I watched my friend give her 7 month old lasagne to feed himself (in my kitchen!) and that put me off BLW for ever! To be fair, I have got twins and no time to tidy up!

poppingin1 Tue 30-Jul-13 15:10:36

I did both, don't worry too much about it.

"I think most mothers do a bit of both- and always have done. Footage from remote tribes show mothers putting food into their children's mouths and children exploring food with their own hands. I seemed to have seen the same in nature films about primates. A mixture decided by the mother."

This is very true.

poppingin1 Tue 30-Jul-13 15:11:53

And yes, we stopped cooking with salt in our home too.

Oakenshield - mine and Gill's.
you cross-posted, that's all.

anyway, the only actual reference on this discussion i've seen was this one, which doesn't link to peer reviewed research, but to an article in the daily fail...
hmm

the study was done with 2000 people - 53out of 2000 developed diabetes.
in the uk, there are 300,000 with the disease.
the study group had 0.025% diabetes. the general populace is 0.5ish%

me again grin

that site i quoted earlier doesn't seem to be the offocial site.

this is
and also
is hers

curlycatkin Tue 30-Jul-13 17:20:51

BLW is just the latest 'thing'. Do not get stressed about it, you said your son was happy - what's not to like?
Honestly, I find all this BLW a bit hmm and I'm glad I missed out on it. My DC's are absolutely fine with food.

LeBFG Tue 30-Jul-13 17:30:21

We cross posted MrsOak - my comment was to Unique.

Each to their own. But I do chuckle to myself when BLWers insist how easy it is......as they are eliminating salt from all food eaten by the family (and ignoring it when eating out and showing off in restaurants), making porridge bars in the microwave and showering the high chair.

bigkidsdidit Tue 30-Jul-13 17:40:57

I find interesting that on MN if there are any studies showing co sleeping might be dangerous hundreds of mumsnetters pick the data apart and read the papers in minute detail and become scientists for te day.

Any data showing negative aspects to weaning after six months is entirely ignored confused

glastocat Tue 30-Jul-13 17:46:14

This wasnt even invented in my day ( son is eleven). It's just the latest thing, do what works best for you, within safety guidelines. What is it anyway, giving your kid bits of toast or something? grin

Sparklingbrook Tue 30-Jul-13 17:51:58

It's just chucking all the food on the high chair tray and letting them get on with it glasto. I did that in 1999 and again in 2002. It has since been given a name it seems.

MiaowTheCat Tue 30-Jul-13 18:29:37

I am sooooo writing the Baby-Led Shitting Handbook.

Chunderella Tue 30-Jul-13 18:31:35

I puree DDs poo.

Dackyduddles Tue 30-Jul-13 18:32:34

Op just feed your baby; sometimes spoon/purée and sometimes food ie off your plate etc. just mix the two around as appropriate.

What adult do you know that only eats puréed food?

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