to curl up under the desk...

(53 Posts)
Ginocchio Mon 22-Jul-13 17:51:51

...with embarrassment?

I've been trying out a bit of online dating. It seems to have worked for some, and with a busy full time job and kids at home (some of the time), it's tricky to meet new people.

It's been quite slow so far - I've done my best with both pics and description, tried to be charming/not a freak in messages, and I'm being honest with myself about my chances (ie not messaging perky 19 year old students...), but no replies.

Finally, today, I've received a reply. Someone of a similar age, (no kids so fingers crossed not going to see this), lives fairly local, seems nice.

Personally, I'd far rather meet someone in person than spend ages online (MN excepted...). So I asked her if she'd like to meet for a drink.

But no. I realised after sending that my auto-fucking-correct changed the word, so I actually said:

"Maybe you'd like to join me for a deposit?"

I've just offered my services as a sperm donor, haven't I?

<makes duvet fort out of desk; crawls in>

ileypie Mon 22-Jul-13 17:56:00

Pahahahaha autocorrect is a bitch!

josephinebruce Mon 22-Jul-13 17:58:49

Message her again you fool!!! If she hasn't got a sense of humour then stuff her!!

(ok, not literally ;-))

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 22-Jul-13 18:03:56

sounds extremely kinky, I would have run for the hills, but yup fingers crossed she has a good sense of humour.

Twitterqueen Mon 22-Jul-13 18:11:29

Was deposit supposed to be date?
Ha Ha ! ROTFLMFAO
Sorry, I am sympathetic, honestly. But really, it is very funny.

So turn it into a joke and be honest! Tell her you're mortified and that there is no way you meant it in a weird way....

I would go out with you just for the humour factor (except I'm fat and old so you wouldn't want me anyway) wine

DiseasesOfTheSheep Mon 22-Jul-13 18:23:27

Brilliant grin Good luck...

DYAC!

UseHerName Mon 22-Jul-13 18:25:52

ha! you think that's bad - I called my brand new boss by the wrong name today!

blush

I feel you're pain!

Ginocchio Mon 22-Jul-13 18:32:25

useher as long as you didn't call them mum/dad/darling...

Have sent a follow up message. I'll update you if I get a response...

Futterby Mon 22-Jul-13 18:36:12

Hahahaha! grin

WilsonFrickett Mon 22-Jul-13 18:45:08

Brilliant! I'd go for a deposit with you as long as you laughed it off as long as DH doesn't mind.

UseHerName Mon 22-Jul-13 18:48:03

you should make a joke out of it - call yourself a right 'banker' - wanker, geddit?

it's still salvageable with some bad humour wink

Tittypulumpcious Mon 22-Jul-13 18:54:57

I'm sure she'll understand if you explain it was auto correct, I think it's happened to a lot of us. I told a colleague I'd happily bum them it originally said BBM. Thanks auto correct..awkward!!!

Ginocchio Mon 22-Jul-13 18:56:42

Wilson I read that as "as long as you wiped it off"! shock blush

I'm not sure I'm safe to be let loose on dating sites without supervision. ..

StuntGirl Mon 22-Jul-13 18:59:04

Titty shock blush grin

Best.autocorrect.ever!

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning Mon 22-Jul-13 18:59:56

At least you'll find out if she has a gsoh

youarewinning Mon 22-Jul-13 19:02:59

Brilliant - but tbh if I got that message and then another apologising for the autocorrect and you were not in fact offering to upduff me I'd think you were honest and had a sense of humour! I'd be more hmm if you didn't have the confidence to re write it.

"I'd happily bum you" grin grin that's superb!

I work in food, and we got a new Head Chef in who I'd still not actually met. I was in customer services and needed to email him reporting that we'd had an increase in complaints about our crispy duck. I didn't want to make a bad first impression by starting with a complaint so crafted the email carefully.

Unfortunately I didn't craft the subject line so carefully, and my careful first impression was an email entitled

You guessed it

Crispy Aromatic Fuck

hmm

OP she'll chuckle when you explain!

Betternc4this Mon 22-Jul-13 19:11:23

I have just woken my DH up by laughing so loudly. He was having his usual nap after work.
That is brilliant. I once wrote about the importance of pubic awareness, so I cant talk. grin

Tittypulumpcious Mon 22-Jul-13 19:13:59

Snorting at this thread not pretty! gringrin

deleted203 Mon 22-Jul-13 19:17:23

It's a very long time since anyone offered me a 'deposit' (sadly). How old is this lady? You may have made her day! grin

(Although you will have to make good on your offer if you are not to look a complete wanker wink)

Betternc4this Mon 22-Jul-13 19:30:09

<switches Ginocchios internet connection off , applies parental filters>

Am still laughing - even poking myself in the eye hasn't seemed to stop me grin

Oh and yesterday, just slightly off subject, tied my dog (very old with cataracts) to the end of a bench and went in shop. Came out and he was under it in the shade with three old ladies sat on bench. I went to untie him and apologised to the lady on the end, cos he was trying to walk through her leg as if it wasn't there iyswim. I said 'sorry he cant see your leg he's blind as a bat' these days.

Unfortunately I didn't look up whilst saying this. If I had I would have seen the white stick propped against her other leg and the dark glasses.

blush <dies all over again just thinking about it>

So Ginno if the ground does open up for you give us a shout , I'll join you.

grin

WilsonFrickett Mon 22-Jul-13 19:32:07

Well wiping it off is the minimum I'd expect, really blush

Ginocchio Mon 22-Jul-13 20:43:31

Well, that was short and sweet.

"No, I don't think it's worth us meeting up. Good luck though! "

Oh. Right then.

Never mind. I'm not bothered.

No, really.


<curls back up in duvet fort>

WilsonFrickett Mon 22-Jul-13 20:47:24

It's harsh, this brave new world...

<passes a pillow>

Futterby Mon 22-Jul-13 20:52:10

Aww that sucks. For what it's worth, I would bum you wink

That was a joke. Felt the need to point that out.

Ginocchio Mon 22-Jul-13 20:56:06

Futterby as long as you wiped it up...

Futterby Mon 22-Jul-13 21:21:10

grin

katykuns Mon 22-Jul-13 21:59:33

wow... way to let you down gently!

Betternc4this Tue 23-Jul-13 10:53:10

Miserable cah !!!

You had a lucky escape...yaddah, yaddah ...etc, etc... plenty more fish in the sea....blah, blah ,blah....

ahem, sorry <realises not being helpful> yeah it sucks this brave new world bet she doesn't, the stuck up old prude . grin

Ahh come on , come out , you cant stay in that quilt fort forever besides I might need it if I see my blind lady and her friends again

deleted203 Tue 23-Jul-13 20:29:34

Ha! Lucky escape, my man! The woman has no sense of humour. Who wants a humourless, miserable sod like that?

Get up and at 'em again. (It's too ruddy hot for sweltering in the duvet fort).

Definitely her loss.
I bet you could get a date using this thread.

Betternc4this Tue 23-Jul-13 20:41:42

Yeah definitely they say best aphrodisiac is to make a woman laugh and you have made loads of us laugh out loud on this thread.

Ginocchio Wed 24-Jul-13 07:47:08

Ooh, MN Blind dates!

We could go and see the penguins... grin

Where in the country & how old are you?

Ginocchio Wed 24-Jul-13 08:52:48

South Midlands, and 34

<frets about outing self>

changeforthebetter Wed 24-Jul-13 09:05:16

Great autocorrects grin

Good luck OP (you are too young and too far away and may be a hairy handed trucker anyway)

Ginocchio Wed 24-Jul-13 09:14:13

change shock How very dare you! <applies Veet to backs of hands>

Mogz Wed 24-Jul-13 09:42:26

Aww I fear South Midlands is a bit far away, I know a lovely lass, early 30s, one adorable DD, in the East of England who is looking for a guy to make her smile.

Ginocchio Wed 24-Jul-13 10:45:25

Mogz I'm sure the combined powers of MN can help her too. Maybe there should be a thread for it...

Ginocchio Wed 24-Jul-13 13:18:05

Totally blush

changeforthebetter Wed 24-Jul-13 14:44:43

There's another thread from a single guy who seems to be looking for someone for his fortieth. Maybe MN is the new hunting ground for men of a certain age..............?wink Oi, lads! Bring your snake-handlers kit - this is a nest of vipers! grin

Ginocchio Wed 24-Jul-13 14:55:55

It's because we're vair naice men and we haven't realised what we're letting ourselves in for

changeforthebetter Wed 24-Jul-13 14:58:58

Nope, you are too comfortable with MN-speak. You haven't just wandered on here..... and the name......... Jus' sayin' ladies......

Ginocchio Wed 24-Jul-13 15:01:58

change no, I've been here for a few years (lurking mainly, but posting occasionally). NC not long ago.

ParkerTheThief Wed 24-Jul-13 15:04:27

Someone I know replied to a potential date saying 'so pleased to be in contact with someone with a gash'

Unfortunately her GSOH didn't appreciate his autocorrect.

We kindly reassured him that of course he didn't sound like a bisexual misogynist

iklboo Wed 24-Jul-13 16:40:50

I've emailed one of our female bosses saying 'I understand you are very busty....'

And signed off an email to one of the male bosses with about 6 kisses.

Ginocchio Wed 24-Jul-13 16:53:57

I did send an email once that said

"Can you please ensure that you get this right in the future.

Retards

Ginocchio"

shock

I doubt her dismissal was to do with the typo!

People do get awful cut-and-dry on these websites in my experience. Problem is, you never know what their sitch is: they could be at third-date point with someone from the site, have met someone off it, have had an ex come knocking... it's all so opaque.

Bon chance Gin, you sound lovely.

Now post a link to your profile so we can all tease you

RaisingChaotic Wed 24-Jul-13 17:34:15

grin at this thread.

There is a dating thread in relationships.

StrangeGlue Wed 24-Jul-13 21:32:05

'Retards, ginnochio' made me actually lol! In reality!

good luck op! you sound fab and i dont say that often grin

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