Would I be unreasonable to say no to this wedding request, or should I grit my teeth and try?

(206 Posts)
babybearsmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 10:53:26

I'm a cake baker by trade, but since the end of my pregnancy I decided to cut my workload down and only bake for family and friends occasions.

My friend got engaged a year ago and one of the 1st things she did was call to ask me to make her wedding cake and I was very excited for her, especially when we'd get a few mins here and there to plan it.

2 weeks after asking me, she emailed me to say that she and her fiancée had decided to go with another cake maker as her fiancée's family had always used that company for their special occasions and her o.h had presumed they would just have that company. I was futted but thought it was their day so no point getting upset.

She messaged me yesterday in a state as the wedding is on Friday and her the company has pulled out of making their cake last week. I've called my suppliers this morning but they can't get everything I need sorted until Wednesday at the earliest, leaving me with just a few hours on weds evening and Thursday evening to make it. I don't have anyone to look after dd as my o.h is working til 7pm this week and his parents are not well and there's no one else close to have her. And I don't think I'd want her to be away all day for 2 days as it's not fair on her (if I'd even get it finished in 2 days as I'd originally planned 4-5 days to get it all done)

So would I be really horrible and unreasonably selfish to say no to her? Or should I just try to get something together for her in the space of those 2 evenings? WWYD?

CeliaFate Mon 22-Jul-13 10:55:38

I'd tell her you can't do it and say what the problems are with the suppliers and childcare. Yanbu.

JerseySpud Mon 22-Jul-13 10:55:54

It depends how good a friend she is

I would maybe say to her that you will do it but she will have to scale down what she wanted to something more basic, due to time constraints and would she come around and sit with your DD whilst you cook it as you are saving her bacon

jollygoose Mon 22-Jul-13 10:56:53

I would let her know that if she wants you to make her cake she must come to your home and look after dd for the day otherwise it cnt be done.

HipHopHooray Mon 22-Jul-13 10:57:02

She asked you then "unasked" you, then calls you when she's stuck? Sod her!!! If it was no problem for you and you had loads of time and you were a VERY nice person you could, but in your situation NO WAY. And also remember if you have to rush it and its not your best work his family will be smugly telling themselves they were right to "unask" you it he first place.....

I think I would tell her you can do a simple version rather than what was originally planned and factor in childcare costs I to your invoice. Then again if it will be a huge stress then just say no.

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Mon 22-Jul-13 10:58:05

Hmmm, tricky one, this is.

For me, it would depend just how close a friend she was. E.g. if it was my best friend i've know since high school who has been there for me through thick and thin - I'd do it albeit reluctantly due to the short notice etc

However, if it was just a 'hello, how are you' friend that I don't see much, or who i know would never do the same favour for me - i'd say sorry, but no.

Don't put all this pressure on yourself unless you're sure she'd do the same for you.

And don't feel guilty with whatever you decide.

LIZS Mon 22-Jul-13 10:59:47

Agree , if you can offer an alternative style which you could do easily in the more limited time frame and she can help re. dd then fine, otherwise I think you'll have to say no . Do you have any other bakers you could suggest ?

StuntGirl Mon 22-Jul-13 11:00:57

It doesn't sound like it could actually feasibly be done anyway, so I'd just tell her "I'm really sorry friend, but it won't be possible due to childcare and time restrictions. I hope you can get another cake".

I was going to suggest telling her you can do a much more simplified cake instead (something that could easily be done in 2 days), but she will need to take your daughter while you work or something, but actually I think that probably has disaster written all over it.

LIZS Mon 22-Jul-13 11:02:38

If a normal customer came to you with this scenario what would you do ?

diddl Mon 22-Jul-13 11:03:33

No can do!

If her people pulled out last week, why did she only ask you yesterday?

Helltotheno Mon 22-Jul-13 11:03:35

Say no. You clearly weren't good enough for her to start with (are we really believing her excuse fobbing everything off on her DH and the company his family uses for 'special occasions'? Please....).
Say you would have loved to help but can't on this occasion.

middleagefrumptynumpty Mon 22-Jul-13 11:04:12

She asked you, her friend, to make a cake then dumped you for a company that her DP's family use? Now they can't do it and they are stuck. I suggest her DP's family find an alternative. It's too late in the day and too much of a rush. Just decline and say sorry you have rung around suppliers and can't do it. Also, her DP's cake company don't sound very professional to be backing out of a wedding cake at such short notice.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Mon 22-Jul-13 11:07:28

What's the issue re your suppliers, exactly? Is it the cake ingredients, or the icing, the decorations? Can't you cobble together something...?

I can sort of understand how the pulling out of you making it came about. But likewise, she is now asking a massive favour of you, at very short notice.

But. Surely you can whip down to the supermarket and get the cake ingredients, and pull together what you need to decorate it? Obviously it won't be an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza of a cake, but I hardly think she will be expecting that, at such short notice.

diddl Mon 22-Jul-13 11:07:53

Yup-she wasn't that bothered about you making her cake, was she?

Wbdn28 Mon 22-Jul-13 11:09:00

The company that pulled out should make alternative arrangements for a cake.

diddl Mon 22-Jul-13 11:09:07

But if you do go ahead, OP-the least she can do it get the ingredients herself!

Aspiemum2 Mon 22-Jul-13 11:09:56

Weddings can bring about some strange behaviour and its never wise to judge someone on decisions made during prewedding stress.
Ignoring the asking/unasking situation - your friend is getting married and is stressing over something you are able to help with.
If I were you I would simplify it but still provide a cake. I know it's a hassle you could do without but it will mean the world to her.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 22-Jul-13 11:09:58

I'd offer a scaled-down version but make it clear that you have to charge an emergency rate.

MaryPoppinsBag Mon 22-Jul-13 11:11:00

I make cakes also mainly for friends and family.

I would say no to a full on wedding cake at such short notice. But if I still wanted to help out I'd offer simple cupcakes (I find these easier to do, more enjoyable and less pressure).

and I'd add £50 onto my usual price for her cheek

But you are within your rights to tell her to do one. I'm sure people don't appreciate how stressful wedding cakes are. I've only made two.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZingWidge Mon 22-Jul-13 11:12:07

sorry, I don't understand.

they pulled out of making a cake last week for a wedding this weekend? why has it not been made before?
if I'm correct traditional fruitcake based wedding cakes (in the UK, if that's where you live) are made weeks in advance.

so it depends on type of ok. what kind of cake are we talking about?

DreamingOfTheMaldives Mon 22-Jul-13 11:12:18

If she is a good friend then I would help her out - I know you were gutted when she pulled out but it wasn't just her decision to make as to who should make the cake and she had to consider her husband to be's opinion to.

As DonDrapers said, why not get the things you need from the supermarket or cooking shop. She might have to accept a much simpler version of cake than she originally wanted as you just don't have enough time before the wedding. What about a three tier simple iced cake and then ask the florist to decorate it with fresh flowers? That way, you have helped to save the day, can feel good that you have helped a friend out but without putting yourself under undue stress.

babybearsmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 11:12:24

Hmm I think I will have to be a bit strict with her then :/ it would be a bit of a pain in the bum to get it done, even a simplified version, so she'll have to choose someone who can put in the time. I wouldn't want her big day spoilt because she couldn't have what she wanted as she is a very good friend.

Also I don't think I could handle her hanging over me checking how far I am with it as I think I'd be stressed enough. Thanks for the advice and making me feel less selfish. There's lots of reputable bakers she could use and who could make what she wants so I'll pass her along!

freddiefrog Mon 22-Jul-13 11:12:49

I used to make wedding cakes for a living, and to be honest, I wouldn't even attempt to make one from scratch in less than 2 days.

In this weather, even if you started today, drying decorations out would be hardwork.

Although it depends on what she wants on it.

To dig a friend out of a hole, I'd offer a plain, iced, 2 or 3 tier sponge cake, with a ribbon round each tier and suggest she ask her florist made up a little posy pick to pop in the top tier.

Anything more extravagant than that, no way jose

Longdistance Mon 22-Jul-13 11:14:34

Get her to babysit, so then you can make the cake?

Or tell her to go to Costco's...

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Mon 22-Jul-13 11:15:19

Exactly - roll-out icing, some ribbon and a floral top and Bob's your uncle. I'd say it is doable.

But if you don't want to do it, that's fine too.

ruby1234 Mon 22-Jul-13 11:16:23

M&S do ready iced cakes suitable for a wedding - she could get one(or more) of those.

diddl Mon 22-Jul-13 11:17:12

Did the other people really pull out or did she get all Bridezilla on them & was dumped?

As someone said, if it's a traditional cake, wouldn't it be made by now?

And yes, if it's their fault, isn't it up to them to help her?

AndHarry Mon 22-Jul-13 11:18:21

Honestly, I would probably do a very simple iced cake as freddie describes.

Fakebook Mon 22-Jul-13 11:25:32

Send her directions to the nearest M&S Food store.

ChippingInHopHopHop Mon 22-Jul-13 11:26:55

Don't do it.

You wont be able to do a good, professional job in that time and it wont do your reputation any good to deliver a sub standard job.

There are plenty of wedding cake places around who will already have the supplies, staff working full time and the roses etc pre-made.

Don't stress yourself out, present a less than brilliant cake & make his family look 'right' in not going with you in the first place.

Asking an indicidual to make a proper wedding cake at such short notice is madness.

JessicaBeatriceFletcher Mon 22-Jul-13 11:33:30

See you've already decided to go back and say you can't.

I think this is 100% right decision. I think she had a nerve.

freddiefrog Mon 22-Jul-13 11:40:41

Did the other people really pull out or did she get all Bridezilla on them & was dumped?

Yes, I was wondering that. Fruit cake should have been made weeks ago, and marzipanned by now.

Waitrose/M&S, and I've even seen them in the larger Tescos and Sainsbury's all sell plain white iced fruit or sponge cakes, to stack and decorate yourself.

Or, if you're so inclined, a cake I used to make a lot, was quick, easy and looked quite spectacular was 3 or 4 tiers of cakes, covered round the sides with chocolate cigarellos, tied with a big ribbons, then filled the edges of the tiers then the centre of the top tier with fresh fruit - strawberries, blue berries, etc

squoosh Mon 22-Jul-13 11:44:52

No chance, why should you get stressed out of your nut while there are cake shops from which she can buy a few cakes and chuck them together.

No one eats the bloody cake anyway.

IWipeArses Mon 22-Jul-13 11:53:05

Buy the cakes, ice them, simple decor.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Mon 22-Jul-13 11:54:13

Tell her to try Tescos. I got my wedding cake from there, 3 tiers, a bit of fancy ribbon and an elegant cake topper and it looked (and tasted) great.
It is too short notice for you to put together a professional wedding cake. She should never have cancelled you, and I think she will realise that now.

bornagaindomesticgoddess Mon 22-Jul-13 11:56:11

Yes, go to Tesco's. Bloody cheek angry

squoosh Mon 22-Jul-13 11:57:43

Why doesn't she go for three massive pork pies or a few wheels of cheese, much more 'now'.

Unexpected Mon 22-Jul-13 12:00:44

Don't do it! If one of your suppliers can't deliver to you by Wed, you will be unable to deliver a cake to her. Also if anything goes wrong with one element of the cake, you have no time to redo it. And if it doesn't turn out perfectly, it will be your reputation on the line. Everyone will think of you as the baker who supplied a sub-standard cake, the original bakers who failed so spectacularly won't even get a mention. If those bakers pulled out last week sometime, you obviously weren't even her first thought as a back-up as she didn't contact you until Sunday!

pictish Mon 22-Jul-13 12:00:50

I think ypu would be completely within reason to tell her you can't take it on. You haven't got time if nothing else.
The fact that she ditched you for a better offer in the first place, only makes the decision easier imho.

I certainly wouldn't bear a grudge over it or anything, but I definitely wouldn't go to any special effort to help out either. No.

Mumsyblouse Mon 22-Jul-13 12:13:01

Just let her know asap that you can't do it- that it takes 4/5 days to do a wedding cake, your suppliers can't get you the stuff and you'd need childcare. Even just one of these is a good reason not to do it- as others have said, you can go to Tesco and get a wedding cake, it's something to giggle about at the wedding, not something to get stressed about.

Thumbwitch Mon 22-Jul-13 12:13:24

Jumping on this just to see what friend says when you decline.

Since you couldn't put in the extra time because of your suppliers (although what can they supply that you can't get in the supermarket?) then I think that declining was really your only option - if you'd put together a substandard cake, you'd be really pissed off and it wouldn't have done your professional rep any good; plus you'd have put all that time and effort in for no good reason.

Shame for your friend but I'm sure she could get another company to put together a cake for her, even if it's not exactly what she wanted.

justmyview Mon 22-Jul-13 12:14:54

At first I thought you should probably do it to help her out, but a simpler version, to save the day. On reflection I think that' risky. Guests will see it and think that's the best you can do. Not so good if you end up deciding to upscale your business again in future

specialsubject Mon 22-Jul-13 12:15:57

it's a cake. You don't have time to make it, and so you should not agree to do so.

all she has to do is go to a shop and buy some smart cakes. No-one at the wedding will give a stuff.

Allalonenow Mon 22-Jul-13 12:16:03

I think politely refusing to make the cake is the best thing. But have a couple of suggestions to give her, such as M&S cake or Sainsburys cake decorated with fresh flowers and ribbons, I've seen this done and it looked very good, with flowers in a spiral down the cake. Also M&S do a Cheese Board which is spectacular, and a bit different.

Groovee Mon 22-Jul-13 12:17:51

I think you are right to say no. It's not a lot of time to be doing a lot of fancy things that it sounds like she wants. I'd just say no.

mirry2 Mon 22-Jul-13 12:19:35

Tell her to go to Marks and Spencers. They sell off the shelf wedding cakes and all the paraphanalia that goes with them. nobody will know.

GladbagsGold Mon 22-Jul-13 12:21:08

We didn't even have a wedding cake as we're not that keen on cake. I don't understand the fuss over them. Tell her there isn't enough time and don't worry about it for one more second, honestly.

parakeet Mon 22-Jul-13 12:21:41

If it was something that was more or less essential, then I would do it, as long as she came round and provided the childcare, to make it physically possible.

However, she is being unreasonable because this is only a cake. Newsflash you can buy cakes on the high street. Yes, even wedding cakes. I got mine from M&S, it had tiers, pillars, white icing.

The guests don't give a stuff what the cake looks like.

Boosiehs Mon 22-Jul-13 12:26:15

You have to pre-order M&S - 21 days.

I had one for my wedding and it was delicious! smile

I'd say no if it was going to overstress you.

If you thought you could do a simple sponge cake and it woudln't be too stressy, AND it was for a v close friend I would do it.

magicstars Mon 22-Jul-13 12:32:13

If she's a good friend & provided she's able to babysit, I'd do it. But a simple version that won't take you ages. Then lap up the thank you's in the speech & feel like a star for saving the day. You probably won't regret helping your friend out long term.

I agree that you should politely explain it's not doable in the time frame.

Unless the company is going down the pan, there has to be a lot more behind the reason they've pulled out of doing this cake.

Don't put your reputation on the line, because if anyone complains about the cake you make, it'll be your fault, with no mention of the last minute miracle you produced.

jidelgin Mon 22-Jul-13 12:42:12

YANBU - teeth gritting is a mugs game! I'm w FryOneFatManic if it goes the way of the pear it could end badly for you.

SuperiorCat Mon 22-Jul-13 12:43:06

What FryOne said

JADS Mon 22-Jul-13 12:44:59

Don't do. Tell her to get herself to M&S or Waitrose. She will need to order it now though.

Maybe you could do her some icing decs as a compromise?

magesticmallow Mon 22-Jul-13 12:46:49

So she called you to ask you but then emailed you to dump you? - I would have thought that at least warranted a phone call.

I would say No, because as someone else pointed out it is your reputation at stake here, plus you'll be under huge pressure.

Out of a matter of interest, are you going to the wedding? - Just to judge how close you are really

trixymalixy Mon 22-Jul-13 12:50:46

If it was a really close friend then I'd do it.

I'd just do something very simple though. Sponge cake rather than traditional fruit cake.

IvanaCake Mon 22-Jul-13 12:53:31

Would she be paying you for it, or is she expecting a freebie?

I would do it but charge extra, tell her the design will have to be modified and she will have to come look after your dc so you can get it done in time.

The things that got me thinking were that the company apparently pulled out of making the cake last week, but the OP only got asked yesterday.

Has the friend been asking others, who all said not possible to do what she wants in the timescale?

Or has it been that the friend has assumed that of course the OP would pull a miracle out the hat and produce a fantastic professional cake in the minimal time available.

diddl Mon 22-Jul-13 13:11:02

Oh, and she messaged??

didn't pick up the phone, or better still get off her arse & come crawling on hands & knees to ask in person?

wigglesrock Mon 22-Jul-13 13:14:50

No, I wouldn't do it. I mean it's all very well saying just do a simple one but at the end of the day this is what you're good at - you have a reputation. Will it be worthy your while to do a cake that somebody may be less than complimentary about, because you hadn't enough time etc, through no fault of your own. I'd be wary.

It's really not as simple as nipping to Tescos for a few ingredients. It'll cost you a fortune, you'll have to bring your daughter shopping etc.

As another poster said its up to the original cake maker to sort this out.

mirry2 Mon 22-Jul-13 13:14:53

Mybe it's because I live in london butin my M&S, there are wedding tiers, pillars etc for sale on the shelf (no ordering).

aldiwhore Mon 22-Jul-13 13:15:53

If she's a very good friend then why would you not try to find a compromise?

She cannot have what she wants at such short notice, but she can look after your child for the day whilst you do most of the graft, then your wedding gift to her is a couple of very late nights.

Offer a simple style, ask her to buy flowers for it. As far as friendship goes she will not forget your help.

I agree that you cannot do the original design at such short notice, but you are cakey enough to know you can make a beautiful simple cake within the time frame.

Xales Mon 22-Jul-13 13:19:06

She messaged you. It wasn't important enough for her to pick up the phone. You may not even have read the message until today/tomorrow.

She is completely unreasonable.

Message her back saying it is impossible and to get to M&S etc.

babybearsmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 13:21:54

She wants a 3 tier sponge with white icing and LOADS of little pale blue, white and silver flowers cascading down it. I don't have any ingredients for it, cutters for the petals of the flowers she wants, icing etc as I just wasn't expecting or planning to do it. I might sound a little PFB about going to the suppliers for everything, but they do give good offers on everything and I really -- can't be bothered-- don't want to drag my dd around shops in this heat looking for everything in this heat and she's just cut a new tooth too, so she's not little miss cheerful today!

Going to brave having a chat with her this evening.

lljkk Mon 22-Jul-13 13:23:29

yanbu, just say no. If she comes back & begs then you could explain the various obstacles & see if she can provide solutions.

I had no idea cakes were so complicated. I barely remember anything about mine.

babybearsmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 13:24:59

And I'm just as curious about the other bakery as to why they've pulled out, all she's said to me is they've pulled out and could I help her out. I haven't had any time to reply to her or call her to find out what's going on as I said about my daughter has been my priority this weekend with her teething and keeping her cool and happy with the heat at the mo

seanbonbon Mon 22-Jul-13 13:25:36

Um, at this stage I'd be telling her to go to M&S! That's what I did for my wedding; buy 3 plain white celebration fruit cakes add ribbon and top with flowers. (But then I was the opposite of a bridezillawink)

seanbonbon Mon 22-Jul-13 13:27:41

I'm sure your friend can buy silver blue any colour flowers at a specialist shop. It would be nice to help her out but just not feasible at this stage.
Do yourself a favour!

diddl Mon 22-Jul-13 13:28:29

Although I don't think she really deserves consideration, but if you're not going to do it-I& I don't think you should-then I think I'd be telling her now tbh.

GladbagsGold Mon 22-Jul-13 13:28:58

Get her to ask Louissa off the apprentice!

Mumsyblouse Mon 22-Jul-13 13:29:23

I think I'd tell her asap. Of course you are in the right, it's up to you if you don't do it, but she does need to know this as I suspect she does now think you are doing it if she texted last week and you had all weekend to think about it. Don't delay because it's an uncomfortable situation, call her now and sort it out and offer some good suggestions (M&S or Sainsbury's cakes plus some extra flowers would be lovely).

MortifiedAdams Mon 22-Jul-13 13:29:48

It really is quite unrealistic to land you in this now and she cant be upset if when you decline.

If you would really like to help, look at what you have in stock and just tell.her you could do X or Y based on what is in your store cupboard.

Are you attebding the wedding?

RaisingChaotic Mon 22-Jul-13 13:33:41

YANBU It's your reputation that would be on the line if it went wrong.

I do agree you should tell her now.

TimeofChange Mon 22-Jul-13 13:35:27

Don't do it.
Don't get involved at all.

She is being a pain even now by wanting it to be so particular with the blue flowers etc.

She can sort something else out or buy ready made and put a blue ribbon round it.

You concentrate on your DD.

Best wishes to you.

EldritchCleavage Mon 22-Jul-13 13:36:30

I'm with the consensus: tell her no, don't feel bad about it, but let her know pronto so she can sort out something else.

StuntGirl Mon 22-Jul-13 13:36:59

I agree if it's a no you need to call her now and tell her. She can then make other arrangements.

Thumbwitch Mon 22-Jul-13 13:37:26

M&S cakes.
Fresh gypsophila, asparagus fern leaves or miniature ivy (so old it must be becoming trendy again by now!) - how hard could it be FOR HER to do?
(Not you. You say no.)

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch Mon 22-Jul-13 13:38:16

I also agree you should tell her asap though - give her this afternoon to start scrabbling around for someone/thing else as well.

JaxTellerIsAllMine Mon 22-Jul-13 13:44:43

just dont do it. She has dumped you, by text, emailed and hasnt bothered to have a face to face chat.

If she was that good a friend, she would have called you, or better came to see you, explained what happened and begged for help.

Nothing wrong with M&S cakes, my Dsil had one for her wedding, I decorated it with blue ribbon, 3 tiers, pillars and lovely little blue cascading (silk) flowers with diamonds and a cake topper. It was beautiful tasting and looked lovely.

JessicaBeatriceFletcher Mon 22-Jul-13 13:46:21

Um, does anybody actually read a thread these days? The OP said at the bottom of the first page she had decided to say no.

The cake isn't the issue. You simply can't make the flowers etc in time - because it's several evening's work and wouldn't dry out in time, particularly in this humid weather.

Don't say you can't do it, say it can't be done from scratch in that time so she will simply have to work out which off-the-shelf option she prefers. Perhaps offer to come shopping with her (and DD of course) to help her decide.

You're going to the wedding, I assume? So you can field or deflect comments or criticisms about the cake with details of the bride's being so horrifically let down at the eleventh hour by those dreadful bakers and didn't she do well, considering.


Fucking phone thinking it knows more about English grammar than I do angry

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Mon 22-Jul-13 13:56:56

Good luck with the call, although I agree with lunatic you should do her the same honour and message her back! Otherwise she will get all Bridezilla on you and you will end up doing it after all!

SlangWhanger Mon 22-Jul-13 13:57:51

I would let her know immediately. There is no reason that it should be any type of disaster for her. The M&S cakes are lovely (and cheap).

TalkativeJim Mon 22-Jul-13 14:00:35

Don't do it.

You'll be thrust into a world of stress, if anything goes wrong it'll be your fault, and regardless you'll end up feeling shit about it because she won't be particularly grateful... it's a red flag that she still wants all the tiny details!

Don't call her - she'll cry and you'll fold.

If you must make an offer - TELL HER that there is time to do a plain x, y, z - no tiny blue flowers - whatever you feel ultra comfy with achieving.

TalkativeJim Mon 22-Jul-13 14:01:01

Oh and btw if you're not invited to the entire wedding - no you shouldn't do it at all.

MaryPoppinsBag Mon 22-Jul-13 14:01:44

Just text her NO!

Don't do it to yourself.

ChippingInHopHopHop Mon 22-Jul-13 14:01:48

Don't be a dolt. Message her back (asap) and tell her that you are sorry, but there is not time for an individual to do justice to a wedding cake, but that if she calls another company up they will be set up to them at short notice.

Do not phone or you will be making a cake smile

Oldandcobwebby Mon 22-Jul-13 14:07:28

Asda does cakes. She should get one from there. Perhaps in the shape of Spongebob Squarepants. Failing that, I recommend coffee choux buns from Greggs.

SunshineBossaNova Mon 22-Jul-13 14:08:18

YANBU at all. Cheeky mare.

LilacPeony Mon 22-Jul-13 14:11:57

she emailed me to say that she and her fiancée had decided to go with another cake maker as her fiancée's family had always used that company for their special occasions and her o.h had presumed they would just have that company. Well they fell on their arses with that decision didn't they! The family cake maker is not looking so wonderful now. Please find out what happened with them before you tell her no OP and then come and let us know! grin

LIZS Mon 22-Jul-13 14:24:59

Whatever you can put together in the time is not going to do you or her fancy ideas justice . It is putting your reputation at stake. Say sorry no can do. I doubt it was as simple as the other baker letting them down.

Don't call or, as somebody else said, you WILL be sucked into it as she'll cry and you'll feel awful and then afterwards you'll think "WTF have I gotten myself into?!"

Just message, say no, it's impossible for you to do it in two evenings, she needs to find somebody else.

LIZS Mon 22-Jul-13 14:28:15

and if you do give her someone else to try you might want to tip them off that it isn't you who has let her down.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Jul-13 14:40:30

If the other company pulled out on Friday and she's only asked you today, you're not even first second choice, OP! The second she heard about the cancellation she should have been on the phone to you.

She sent you a text today. Send her a text back saying "Sorry, it'd take too long and I've no free time this week."

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Jul-13 14:41:29

You say you haven't had time to message her but you have had time to be on here - send her a text so that she knows that option's gone.

YANBU to not do this given that you don't have enough time.

YABVU to not tell her till this evening when she asked you yesterday in order to give her time to sort something out. Even if your dd is teething it will take you less time to send her a text saying what you've said here than it would to post on this thread!

Cross posted imperial...

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Mon 22-Jul-13 14:53:16

Are you invited to the wedding OP?

I can't believe she has not got her head around the idea that if it's a last-minute thing, she will not be able to have exactly what she's set her heart on. That's life I'm afraid.

If she could get the supplies for you, that might help - but I would not agree to something that makes for a miserable few days for your DD and you.

TarkaTheOtter Mon 22-Jul-13 15:16:46

I'd help her out if she is a good friend. Maybe not exactly what she wants but the best I could do. Sounds like her oh made the cake decision not her. Maybe she didn't realise you would be upset not to make it.
If she was just an acquaintance I'd say no but for a close friend I would.

Greydog Mon 22-Jul-13 15:24:13

Just don't do it!

LIZS Mon 22-Jul-13 16:11:34

but if they were such good friends then wouldn't she'd have rung and asked ?

flowery Mon 22-Jul-13 16:21:00

Apart from all the other good reasons not to do it, if I were a cake baker by trade there would be no way I'd have my work on display at a wedding unless it was absolutely my best. Not a rush make-do job, which people will assume is your normal standard.

babybearsmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 16:35:31

Right... So I've been bugging her all day and kind of get the gist of it now, but I think this whole wedding lark has send her doolally.

They decided to go with the other bakers due to the reputation they had with her DFs family and requested for a certain person there to do it (seems bizarre to me but apparently she's 'amazing') Anyway, as her story goes this person has come down ill and has taken a few weeks off sick. My deranged friend has been so psyched up about this lady doing it, has seen her previous cakes and she doesn't want anyone else there to do it.

So my friend has a call from the bakery asking if she wants anyone else to do it, gets in a strop and comes running back to the plans we made yonks ago. I've told her about my commitments and she's thrown a bit of a strop as I may have to buy a pre made cake and flowers etc, but I don't feel that I'd even have time to do that due to dd being very sad and clingy at the mo, so I've made all the suggestions everyone's said in the thread and she's buggered off in an 'I'll do it/ fix it myself/ my day is ruined' mood.

We were planning to go to the wedding, but I think I'm having second thoughts now!! Eek, I'm an awful friend aren't I? sad

LIZS Mon 22-Jul-13 16:37:08

Not at all , she's the one who burnt the bridges with you then the other company.

DuelingFanjo Mon 22-Jul-13 16:39:04

"she's thrown a bit of a strop"

oh dear

Give it a day or two and see if she calms down. she will probably realise what a knob she's being soon.

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Jul-13 16:39:35

She's being a complete idiot. She'll be so embarrassed later. You must go to the wedding, that will just make it worse if you don't.

She'll be able to get hold of one, don't worry. She's such a fool saying only that woman could make it for her.

LittleBearPad Mon 22-Jul-13 16:40:00

No you aren't. She's being very precious particularly regarding one specific person at the cake company doing it. Presumably all their staff are competent.

I think she had a cheek to ask you.

Groovee Mon 22-Jul-13 16:40:26

Oh dear!

squoosh Mon 22-Jul-13 16:40:48

Thrown a strop? hmm

Leave her to it. I hope all she comes up with is two dozen stale fairy cakes.

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Jul-13 16:41:02

I love some of the M&S cakes.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Mon 22-Jul-13 16:44:33

Unbelievable! She should be thanking you profusely for doing it at all. Really bridezilla behaviour. Let her do the best she can from M&S and don't stress yourself. I would still go to the wedding - you were invited as a guest aside of your baking abilities! Just don't even refer to it on the day, rise above the whole thing - resist the temptation to apologise for not being able to do more etc.

YoniMitchell Mon 22-Jul-13 16:46:15

Anyone else dying for a slab of cake now?

HerculePoirotsTache Mon 22-Jul-13 16:46:24

She's panicking, but being unrealistic if she thinks you could produce a stunning cake in so little time! I'd love to know why the other company pulled out bridezilla

EldritchCleavage Mon 22-Jul-13 16:49:25

Don't feel guilty, babybear, this is a mess of her own making.

A sensible person would have said, 'Oh dear, I won't get exactly what I wanted, but ho hum let someone else there do it' not stormed off and tried to get you to pitch in, on your lonesome, with 2 days' notice.

And really, it is only a cake. I say that as someone whose cake makers did not follow my (quite simple) instructions for Italian meringue not buttercream. The cake was still delicious, and beautiful. I can't even remember what Italian meringue is anyway.

TarkaTheOtter Mon 22-Jul-13 16:49:27

Oh dear! I'd have done it in an emergency, but after your last post I'd definitely say no. She's being a princess.

I wouldn't go out of my way to help her tbh, she didn't care none to your feelings before when she wanted the cake from elsewhere and now she thinks she can call on you at the very last minute when you have a child to look after and can't get the supplies! The cheek of it!

tobiasfunke Mon 22-Jul-13 16:52:49

She's being a mental control freak - weddings do that to some people. If she was rude I wouldn't bother going to the wedding.

Thanks to whoever upthread mentioned the words SpongeBob cake and Asda in the same sentence. I thought I was going to have to make (badly) a spongebob cake this week but I googled and am now the proud owner of one SpongeBob Asda cake. Hoorah. OP - your friend maybe be a loon but my cake problems are solved

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 22-Jul-13 16:53:35

She has lost it, in what seems to be typical wedding stylee!

You're not a bad friend, OP. You've tried very hard to help her out and she isn't accepting your suggestions.

FriskyHenderson Mon 22-Jul-13 16:56:29

YoniMitchell only of it's got blue flowers on it wink

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania Mon 22-Jul-13 16:58:59

I personally would not, she asked you, then pulled out for another company, got let down by them and go back to you. Just say no you can't, suppliers cannot deliver until Wednesday and I do not have the time

AndHarry Mon 22-Jul-13 17:00:36

confused She is clearly addled by the heat. I hope she apologises. Do still go, you have to see what she manages to come up with!

Go to the wedding OP, the cake is not your problem though.

"squoosh Mon 22-Jul-13 11:44:52

No chance, why should you get stressed out of your nut while there are cake shops from which she can buy a few cakes and chuck them together.

No one eats the bloody cake anyway."

shock I do!! Cake (well marzipan) is the best bit (after the champagne)

I came on to say if she's a good friend, do what you can. but as others have said, you don't want to throw something together and have people think that's the best you can do.
Sounds as though it's all sorted though...SHE will do it. Can't believe she wasn't happy for anyone else to do it.

pigletmania Mon 22-Jul-13 17:20:49

My goodness the bridezillas are out in force recently on Mumsnet!

lljkk Mon 22-Jul-13 17:36:29

It's a cake, ffs, it gets turned into poo within 24 hours of unveiling. Honestly. Some people.

Crikey, she is stressed. You could never have lived up to her standards with the time available and she knows it and she's just throwing her toys out of the pram.

Since the bakers will have made her actual cake already I bet she loses her deposit and/or has to pay a substantial proportion of the agreed price. Bridezillaing can be expensive.

Have a lovely time at the wedding xx

LemonBreeland Mon 22-Jul-13 17:53:21

She has obviously lost the plot. She has chosen not to get the original company to do it for frankly pathetic reasons.

She does have options. Youdon't need to make the cake.

One day she will realise what an idiot she has been.

diddl Mon 22-Jul-13 17:54:13

OK-so the baker has told her that the specific person she requested is ill & would she like someone else?

don't really believe that tbh

She has said no, as you do

Wouldn't the bakers just get on & complete the order?

I mean if it was specific decoration I would get it-but the cake isn't even made??


She has time to sort something out HERSELF-with the help of her fiance's family.

expatinscotland Mon 22-Jul-13 17:58:33

Tell her no. YANBU.

So the company didn't pull out, your friend had a strop instead. Definitely was best not to attempt to make the cake, you probably would have had your friend breathing down your neck if it wasn't perfect.

ChippingInHopHopHop Mon 22-Jul-13 18:02:12

OP - it's not you that the shit friend here! She's being a shit friend, even given Bridezilla leeway!!

Don't feel bad about it.

I'm not sure I believe her story, but even if it is true, if they hadn't told her the woman was off ill I doubt she would have noticed the difference if one of their other staff had made it.

Her drama to sort out... she has plenty of options.

I would go to the wedding if I still wanted to be friends, if I didn't I'd avoid it. If you do go or speak to her beforehand, do not mention the cake at all and do NOT aplogise, that's her job!

OP you're not a shit friend in the slightest, weddings just turn people daft. I have a friend who's not getting married 'til November 2014 and she's already driving me nuts grin.
I'd still go to the wedding - the situation she's in is not your fault, it's her own damn fault for throwing a strop at the suggestion of someone else in the bakery doing her cake and putting herself in this position. Some brides sometimes forget that people have things going on in their own lives other than The Wedding, and it was unreasonable of her to expect you to just have the time to put together the cake of her dreams on short such notice with a baby to look after.

lljkk amazing point about it turning into poo in 24 hours anyway! grin

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Jul-13 18:24:35

It's so hard to understand someone going so daft over a wedding cake. I find it hard to believe every generation has had their cake made by the same person but even if that was true, so bloody what? I could understand if it was the groom's mum who wanted to make the cake, but really, this situation is just ridiculous. No wonder the poor woman went off sick!

Emilythornesbff Mon 22-Jul-13 18:48:25

grin you are not being a shit friend.

There isn't time, even without the childcare issue to make that cake.

YAbu to make me think about cake on a fasting day.
I need to know (for reasons of gratuitous nosiness) much more about the detail of the cake please.
Lots of suggestions have been good IMHO about helping steer her in the right direction.

I hope your DD is feeling happier soon. Teething in this heat is no fun.
As an aside, I made my own four tier fruit wedding cake [smug] (for perspective)
I have a teething dd. I'm not sure I could whip up a batch of brownies this week. I am not even attempting to clean the slightly crunchy kitchen floor, never mind making a wedding cake.

Please update. I need something to read while I'm feeding (non stop)

Xales Mon 22-Jul-13 18:58:02

So the woman has gone off sick for weeks. If she has just gone off sick wouldn't the cake and the major decoration be well on the way to complete for this weekend? So all it would take would be one of their other equally I am sure able other cake makers to finish.

Or she has had weeks notice was banking on this poor cake maker dragging herself back and making it.

Either way your friend is an idiot to think you could make and professionally decorate presumably no cost was mentioned with a young child and having to source all necessary stuff in less than a week!

Ipsissima Mon 22-Jul-13 19:06:31

All depends on whether you treasure this friendship or not. She was very up front with you re the cake, and reasons, and you handled it without upset.
She is now "in the lurch".
If you want to maintain the friendship, then bail her out ....Tell her that in the time thats left, you could go to M&S and buy three tiers, pre-iced, but then decorate them in your usual style!

Otherwise, if you really aren't fussed, tell her to take a hike.

trixymalixy Mon 22-Jul-13 19:11:19

Up thread I had said I would do a simple cake for a good friend. After your latest update I would like to revise that and say you shouldn't make the cake. If she's gone all bridezilla then whatever you do will not be good enough. She's made her own bed, she should lie in it.

LilacPeony Mon 22-Jul-13 19:16:29

I don't understand why she doesn't want someone else at the family baker company to make it if they are offering. Surely that would be easier all round?

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Mon 22-Jul-13 19:49:00

It sounds increasingly fishy now I think about it. As has been said, surely the cake should actually have been made weeks ago, and if this woman's gone off sick now it's just a case of getting the final decoration done? I think there has been a screw up / insult by the friend that she isn't owning up to.

Greydog Mon 22-Jul-13 19:56:48

Snazzy, I think you're right. It sounds too fishy. And let's face it, the firm will have other competant decorators. No, babybear, you leave well alone. Hope your DD feels better soon

I really want some wedding cake now [cake] <optimistic attempt at an emoticon>

Floggingmolly Mon 22-Jul-13 19:58:00

Of course you're not getting the real story. The cake would have been made weeks ago, as lots of posters have pointed out.
I bet she has been so obnoxious to the company that they've told her to take her business elsewhere. Do you really want to stand in line for the same treatment, even taking the stress of the time limits out of the equation?
Bridezilla extraordinaire!

DameDeepRedBetty Mon 22-Jul-13 20:01:56

You're not an awful friend. Your friend has gone Bridezilla. Sincerely hope she recovers as she sounds like she used to be fairly sane and nice.

DontmindifIdo Mon 22-Jul-13 20:03:48

oh don't make the cake now no matter what!

I might point out to her again the cake company will have started so they should be able to complete the order if she calls back in the morning to apologise for her strop.

Or call her mother (if you konw her) and point out the same. It will become that you let her down at the last minute, I'd call her mum/chief bridesmaid and say that noone could make the cake she wants from scratch at this short notice, that it's too late to go with someone else, she needs to get the cake company completing the order.

BikeRunSki Mon 22-Jul-13 20:04:40

I'd tell her to go to M&S.

Emilythornesbff Mon 22-Jul-13 20:05:22

Ha. I too want cake.
Can we have a cake emoticon?
Aren't you tempted to phone the patisserie to find out what happened? (under the guise of calling them to see what they can do? shock)

MissStrawberry Mon 22-Jul-13 20:09:56

Don't make the cake.
Don't do anything to do with cake.
Don't give it another thought.

I am sick of hearing that planning a wedding sends you crazy and making excuses for rude, disgraceful behaviour. There's just non for it. Maybe if people stopped thinking it was about a big showing off expensive day which is all about the bride then maybe they wouldn't feel the need to have a tantrum.

hermioneweasley Mon 22-Jul-13 20:17:22

OP, you are not a shit friend! You would happily have done it when she asked first time. You spent time trying to source supplies, and they are not available. She is being rude and stroppy. Unfortunately she is unlikely to come to her senses and ever see anyone else's perspective, as crazy bridezillas don't

tanukiton Mon 22-Jul-13 20:21:52

No nONO. Noooooooo! It is screaming NO ... You do a rush job; she hates it. You do a simple job ; she hates it. you offered your regular work ; she hated it. NOOooooo

onetiredmummy Mon 22-Jul-13 20:29:53

I'm starting to think the poor bloody baker is off sick BECAUSE of this cake and the bridezilla attached to it !
Op I spoke today to a friend who has a baking business and made a birthday cake today. She said the icing was melting in her hands and her plan was to try again tonight when it's a bit cooler!
Well done for saying no, I applaud you.

ThePowerof3 Mon 22-Jul-13 20:37:12

You can get wedding cake from marks and Spencers

MissStrawberry Mon 22-Jul-13 20:55:26

Please don't make the cake. If you rush it and it isn't great then people will see that and you miss out on commissions in the future.

JaxTellerIsAllMine Thu 25-Jul-13 17:06:32

so whats the update on the cake situation? I need to know before I go on holiday. grin

Emilythornesbff Thu 25-Jul-13 18:10:05

Quite jax

justmyview Thu 25-Jul-13 18:10:08

The wedding's tomorrow. I guess the bride will be serving some cheap buns from the supermarket, and she'll be pretending that it's a post - modern ironic recession-sensitive version of cupcakes

LilacPeony Thu 25-Jul-13 19:07:08

I was just wondering what I would do if i was about to have a wedding and didn't have the cake sorted. I reckon i would just drive from Waitrose to Waitrose buying up as many of these cup cakes as i could find off the shelf. I've had them before and they are nice! I think I've seen them in Sainsburys too in the past. What would everyone else do? (While we wait for the OP wink

LilacPeony Thu 25-Jul-13 19:11:51

Or failing that maybe I would buy up a load of Mr Kipling French Fancies like this couple!

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Thu 25-Jul-13 21:14:31

I'd fall back on M&S's finest!

SomethingChanged Thu 25-Jul-13 21:39:45

I think you've dodged a bullet here. She's gone a bit crazy over the cake (why not let someone else from the bakery do it?) and i'd imagine despite your best efforts it won't be good enough. YADNBU.

Emilythornesbff Thu 25-Jul-13 21:42:55

So op are you going to the wedding?

Jam tarts?

Or a Ferrero Roche tower?grin

Emilythornesbff Thu 25-Jul-13 21:44:16

Freench fancies would be great lilac


what happens to people? it's so weird

Emilythornesbff Thu 25-Jul-13 21:45:46

freench doh. French.

Or one of those big Jaffa cakes.

Big Wheel 'o Cheese should do the job as a replacement wink

Either that or tell guests it's BYOC (Bring Your Own Cake) grin

babybearsmummy Thu 25-Jul-13 21:58:32

Sorry, been so mad with dd these last few days, her 2 teeth next to the bottom centre teeth have decided to come through in sync and I've had to take her back to the doctors for stronger antibiotics as she's just not shaking off an ear infection. And to top it off dp has been off work sick today, so I've had 2 grizzlers to contend with. But have learned Calpol fixes all, whether you're 1 or 22!

No I didn't make her cake and told her so the other night when she larked off in a strop. She hasn't spoken to me and is ignoring my messages so I have no idea what's going on.

Really not sure if we're going tomorrow either, as I don't think it'll be fair to drag my poorly people out! Doubting that'll go down well :/

Thanks for the comments, very glad I didn't do it in the end, I'm nackered this week. Although I have been VVVVVVV U and baked very scrummy (but uber simple) sponge cake and choc cake for dd and dp in the hope they get better soon.... But ssshhhhh!

You've done the right thing.
You'll just have to see how DD and DP are tomorrow.

ChasedByBees Thu 25-Jul-13 22:02:18

Really off of her to be ignoring your messages. God can you imagine how bridezilla she would have gone if you had offered to make it? She wouldn't have left you alone!

lunar1 Thu 25-Jul-13 22:02:22

Good job you didn't make it with all that on your plate!

ZingWidge Thu 25-Jul-13 22:09:27

good decision OP!

thanks hope your family gets better and thank you for update - so annoying when there's no closure!

Emilythornesbff Thu 25-Jul-13 22:13:03

Sooo relieved you're not embroiled in making that cake.
Can you imagine the stress?
Poor dd.

diddl Thu 25-Jul-13 22:20:01

Sounds to me as if you could all do with a rest tomorrow!

SunshineBossaNova Thu 25-Jul-13 22:23:18

What a miserable cah she is - I hope your little people get well soon.

Emilythornesbff Thu 25-Jul-13 22:35:32

If your DP is poorly he won't be any fun at the wedding will he?
Can he look after dd while you go?

ZillionChocolate Thu 25-Jul-13 22:56:49

If you drop out at the last minute, she'll still have to pay for you (probably). Expect a tantrum if she notices.

Thumbwitch Fri 26-Jul-13 05:41:04

If you do decide not to go, which I have to say sounds reasonable under the circs, I would cite the general poorliness of your family as the reason. But I think whether or not you go you might have to kiss this friendship goodbye.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 26-Jul-13 11:01:43

I agree with Thumbwitch, I'm not sure the friendship will survive – or that it'll be much of a loss if it doesn't ...

Sorry your household is unwell and hope you all get better soon!

diddl Sat 27-Jul-13 07:58:33

So it's today?

Wonder if she managed to get a cake, or if OP or any of her family are going?

CruCru Sat 27-Jul-13 08:44:48

This is a really good thread. Professional cake bakers and weddings.

I couldn't imagine making a proper wedding cake in the heat and presumably (if you're like me), you don't have room in the fridge to keep it.

Hope you have a nice day no matter what happens.

Tanith Sat 27-Jul-13 09:52:35

I do agree with MissStrawberry, though.
When did all this Bridezilla-ness start? I got married 18 years ago, they sent the wrong cake and I didn't even notice until I saw the wedding photos - much less cared: it was still beautiful. Wrong colours and decoration, mind. Clashed with my MIL's dress (oh my!).
But the taste? Oh divine!!! smile

Did you go op? smile

diddl Sat 27-Jul-13 10:10:30

It was yesterday, wasn't it, not today?blush

So, c'mon OP.

MNers waiting for an update here!!grin

Hope you're all OK, btw.

CeliaFate Sat 27-Jul-13 10:39:29

Did you go OP?

CruCru Sun 28-Jul-13 09:52:59

So what happened?

Euphemia Sun 28-Jul-13 10:15:12

If you didn't go to the wedding you're as rude as her.

I'd have gone, to maintain the moral high ground. You've done nothing wrong - her cake disaster is not of your doing, neither should it trouble you at all to have said no to her.

Cake ruining someone's wedding??? Some people really lose perspective over weddings, don't they?!

WireCat Sun 28-Jul-13 10:25:20

If my partner & baby were ill I wouldn't go. Only because the ill partner couldn't look after the ill baby.

Just been talking to my dh about weddings as he saw eat I was reading.

He says weddings are mad nowadays. And bloody expensive for guests.

Fillyjonk75 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:25:34

I'd point her in the direction of the John Lewis off the shelf wedding cake department and also their silk flowers. Then she can buy some Fimo and make a cake topper. Sorted.

Basically what I did, except MIL wanted to make the cake, so she did. But it was basically plain white three tier, decorated by silk flowers and a cake topper made by yours truly. I didn't want to spend £350 on something that was hardly going to be seen and then eaten within hours.

Fillyjonk75 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:28:24

^He says weddings are mad nowadays. And bloody expensive for guests.

The thing is people were saying that about weddings nine years ago when I got married. I saw no evidence of madness in our wedding or in any others I went to. Depends who your friends are I think.

SO??? Did you go to the wedding OP??? and what was the cake like??? grin

MidniteScribbler Sun 28-Jul-13 10:52:41

It amazes me how helpless some people can be. Cake maker sick - go buy a few packet mixes and some sparkly sprinkles, problem solved. Guaranteed that not oneof her guests would comment about it.

SignoraStronza Sun 28-Jul-13 10:57:51

Of course you would not be unreasonable. Point her in the direction of M&S or Waitrose. They do quite a good range and would get them to her in plenty of time for the wedding.

Wedding was a few days ago!

ProphetOfDoom Sun 28-Jul-13 11:13:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeesGoBuzzzzzz Sun 28-Jul-13 11:15:58

I'm interested to know if op did attend and how it all went.

2rebecca Sun 28-Jul-13 12:11:03

Sad your friend has behaved like such a plonker. The bakery didn't pull out, they had one member of staff with an illness. It wasn't an emergency at all, just a bridezilla attack.
Hope she hasn't ruined the friendship and gets over herself and the wedding went well.

Cakebitch Sun 28-Jul-13 12:37:40

Reputable cake suppliers do not let you down with one week to go.They pull out all the stops , working all night, if they have to
. Whats the betting too that your friend wants you to do it not only ridiculously last minute, but for cheaper than she would have paid??? This is the reason i do not do cakes for friends and family.
Do not do it.

Thumbwitch Sun 28-Jul-13 13:55:15

Cakebitch - not that simple. There was one person in the cake supplier company that the bride wanted to do her cake, and that person was sick. Apparently no substitute within the company was acceptable to her, so she reverted back to the OP instead.

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 14:16:04

But the cake people didn't let her down, did they?

She chose not to go ahead with anyone else.

So really only herself to blame.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 29-Jul-13 21:00:56
ProphetOfDoom Mon 29-Jul-13 22:07:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foreverondiet Mon 29-Jul-13 22:31:20

Just say you'd love to help but sorry its not logistically possible due to timescales.

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