to think this is taking the piss

(50 Posts)
cuteboots Mon 22-Jul-13 08:41:59

so In the week my cousin who I rarely see asked if I could possibly give her son a lift to work. I said Id think about it and get him to come and ask me. Didnt hear anymore! This morning walked out tot he car and there he was stood by the car !? Is this taking the piss or am I being a it over the top about this?

Nanny0gg Mon 22-Jul-13 08:45:09

Why couldn't you just give her a straight Yes or No?

obviouslyneedsupernanny Mon 22-Jul-13 08:46:20

I agree

SkinnybitchWannabe Mon 22-Jul-13 08:47:08

It is cheeky. but you should have given a direct answer

quesadilla Mon 22-Jul-13 08:49:03

Sorry, don't understand: did you say "get him to come over" as in yes you would do it but he had to make his way to your house? Or did you mean for him to come over to discuss it?

If its the first I can't see why that's taking the piss - the clear suggestion is that you were saying yes. If the latter you should have been more clear that you hadn't made up your mind...

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 22-Jul-13 08:49:21

What did you need to think about?

Is it that you wanted him to ask you himself?

Why? [curious]

AnaisB Mon 22-Jul-13 08:49:44

I agree - Why didn't you answer her?

MrsKeithRichards Mon 22-Jul-13 08:52:13

Yeah why not just a yes or no?

Trills Mon 22-Jul-13 08:56:11

I would want to be asked by the person wanting the favour too.

So that I would be able to say "I will pick you up from x location at y o;clock, do you understand that if you are late I will not be giving you any more lifts?" and be sure that the message got through, rather than the mother just passing on "yes, she'll do it".

EvieanneVolvic Mon 22-Jul-13 08:58:45

No he is not taking the piss.
No you are not being 'a bit over the top'; you are being a lot over the top.

As just about everyone else has said, why one earth were you being so mysterious about it/ There would have been nothing (much) wrong in saying no straight off!

EvieanneVolvic Mon 22-Jul-13 08:59:43

Trills; yes that would have been reasonable imho.

CookieLady Mon 22-Jul-13 10:31:07


cuteboots Mon 22-Jul-13 10:45:47

I dont think Im being unresonable here. I havent seen them for ages and dont like people relying on me for a lift as I dont rely on people for lifts. All he had to do is ask is this just not manners? To just be stood waiting by my car is I think taking the piss...

Trills- I agree 100%

SJisontheway Mon 22-Jul-13 11:04:15

Erm, you don't rely on people for lifts because you have a car. If he is always on time and doesn't hold you up I can't see why you'd say no, but appreciate that's your right. It just sounds like crossed wires. Give him a lift, or don't. Let him know where you stand. No more crossed wires.

Nanny0gg Mon 22-Jul-13 11:08:19

Doing someone a favour isn't having them 'rely' on you.

If you don't want to help out, you should have just said a straight No.

(And if you don't think you're unreasonable then why post in AIBU?)

squeakytoy Mon 22-Jul-13 11:11:35

nobody was relying on you, you were asked if you could do a favour..

it all sounds a bit hard work ... either say yes or say no.. not "i will think about it"..

MonstersDontCry Mon 22-Jul-13 11:14:59

Why didn't you just say no if you didn't want to do it? They may have Taken the 'come over and ask me' as a yes.

FFS if you're that precious you should just have said No at the beginning. You seem to think that people should have to jump through hoops in order to prove themselves worth of being helped by you. You were asked to give your young cousin a lift on one specific occasion which would suggest that it was something important to him (job interview? hospital appointment?) and you don't give a straight answer so his mum probably said, look, she's going to be a cow about it, just turn up there and block your ears to the moaning, we have no other option.

cuteboots Mon 22-Jul-13 11:37:13

solidgoldbrass- Easy tiger ! Im the first to offer people a lift thanks.

BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy Mon 22-Jul-13 14:33:08

YABU and a little bit weird.

Minion Mon 22-Jul-13 14:37:03

How old is the son?
Child, teen, young adult?
Even so regardless of age, if you didn't want to give him a hand, say no. But of you have nothing against the lad is isn't always making you do things for him, then why not? You get to have a good catch up with your cousin.

usualsuspect Mon 22-Jul-13 14:37:05

Yabu, I can't be doing with people who play stupid bloody mind games.

Just say yes or no.

EvieanneVolvic Mon 22-Jul-13 14:41:12

Easy tiger ! Im the first to offer people a lift thanks.

Well going by what you've said here that's not 100% the case is it, but that's not the point...why the frig did you not just say no?

NatashaBee Mon 22-Jul-13 14:45:52

Unless they're generally cheeky pisstakers, I'd assume it was a misunderstanding. Why would you not just say yes or no at the time?

cloudskitchen Mon 22-Jul-13 14:47:29

I'm also curious as to why you didn't just say yes (or no) is there some deeper issue. why make them jump through hoops. it was a simple enough request.

Sparklysilversequins Mon 22-Jul-13 14:49:35

You sound like a right grumps! Also wanting to keep them on tenterhooks wondering will she/won't she give the lift?! What's that all about?

Redlocks30 Mon 22-Jul-13 14:55:00

Do you always speak in riddles to people like this?!

Was this a one-off lift or does he want you to take him every day?

How old is he?

CloudsAndTrees Mon 22-Jul-13 16:12:07

They were rude.

It might have been more helpful to them if you'd given them a straight yes or no, but you didn't, as is your right when you are being asked to do a favour. I don't think you did anything wrong by saying you'd think about it and asking to speak to the person you would actually be helping. It not jumping through hoops, it's giving you the chance to make it clear that you can't be late or whatever.

Of course it's taking the piss to assume that 'I'll think about it' means 'yes'.

arabesque Mon 22-Jul-13 16:16:03

Yes it was rude, but so was your response to the original request. Why did you have to 'think about it''? Surely it either suited you or it didn't. What a pompous reply.

Boomba Mon 22-Jul-13 16:16:42

YAB perculiar confused

ThreeTroikas Mon 22-Jul-13 16:19:24

YANBU. If hes old enough to have a job, hes old enough to ask for a lift to work himself. At least that was always the way I was brought up - with manners and to be independent.

The lift wasn't conformed, so yes he was being a piss taker by simply turning up assuming someone else had arranged it for him.

arabesque Mon 22-Jul-13 16:20:13

I have to say, though, it someone gave me an insulting reply like that I'd walk, jog, hop or skateboard to my destination rather than come cap in hand begging for a lift.
You need to get over yourself, you really do. It sounds like his mum asked you politely and you got all uppity and silly.

ArtexMonkey Mon 22-Jul-13 16:21:57

I will never understand the way people on mn get such a hair up their arses about lifts. Really really weird.

What a strange reply to begin with confused even a yes but get him to call me when he gets a chance/no sorry but I'll explain to him after is better than the original message. I'd have rather got a taxi than ask in the first place though.

Crinkle77 Mon 22-Jul-13 16:32:38

Was it a one off or does he want a lift regularly?

Fairenuff Mon 22-Jul-13 16:54:51

Well he turned up, he was on time, you could have told him there and then that you didn't want to give him a lift or you could have told him that you would be happy to provide a lift. So what's the problem?

Is it the heat, there seem to be a lot of grumpy posters on mn today.

5Foot5 Mon 22-Jul-13 16:59:09

Sounds like it could be miscommunication here? I certainly get the impression that you were not all that clear with your response so they maybe assumed it was OK.

sukysue Mon 22-Jul-13 17:03:32

YABU and a proper misery guts.

Bowlersarm Mon 22-Jul-13 17:05:29

If it's a one-off lift I think YABU - it's no hardship.

Not sure if it's a regular thing, though.

phantomnamechanger Mon 22-Jul-13 17:06:56

in what world does "I'll think about it" mean a yes? My kids always say it means no really (just like "we'll see"), but supposed to be nicer than an outright no.

I think it was VERY rude to just show up - and you could have had any number of reasons why it was not convenient to oblige.

usualsuspect Mon 22-Jul-13 17:08:42

Then she should have said no in the first place.

Sparklysilversequins Mon 22-Jul-13 17:12:44

But WHAT exactly did you need to think about? You could either do it or you couldn't?

pictish Mon 22-Jul-13 17:13:46

Yab strangely u.

What's the biggy? Why do you need to think about it? Why do you need to be asked by him personally?

You think giving someone a lift is a bigger favour than it is, obviously.

pictish Mon 22-Jul-13 17:14:54

It was a yes or no thing.
I don't get you.

Fairenuff Mon 22-Jul-13 17:19:31

What did you do OP, did you give him a lift or not?

thebody Mon 22-Jul-13 17:19:48

mmmn you sound very hard work op and a bit full of your own importance granting favours.

I expect the lad was desperate for the lift but asked his mom to approach you as your known to he hard work.

are you my sister?

Ipp3 Mon 22-Jul-13 17:23:57

I think a lot of respondents here are being really unfair to op. I would want to think about it too. If it is a regular thing it would limit my flexibility in my journey to work as I can start at different times. I might also want to thnk about whether I want to make polite conversation every morning! And it is not unreasonable to expect him to ask himself. F he has a job he should behave like a polite adult and ask himself.

pictish Mon 22-Jul-13 17:27:24

It depends if it was a one off, or supposed to be regular thing I guess.
If the former yabu...if the latter yanbu.

ChippingInHopHopHop Mon 22-Jul-13 17:34:46

Sounds like you don't make him very welcome if he was waiting outside, by the car, instead of knocking on the door.

I really don't get this 'my cousin who I rarely see'... so what? It's a lift, she didn't ask you to bequest half your home to the lad!

Why are you bent on making life difficult for yourself and those around you?

BlackAffronted Mon 22-Jul-13 17:37:24

MN - yes
OP - No Im not!

Why ask???

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