To ask the neighbours to keep the noise down?

(75 Posts)
BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 20:06:32

Our neighbours have invested in a temporary hot tub.

It's 20.05 and there's about ten squealing, screaming, shouting, laughing, shrieking women in the garden right under our toddlers bedroom. They have music blasting and look to be settled in for the night.

Our toddler has been in bed an hour and they've just woken her up.

How late would you let it go on before asking them to keep the noise down? I'm thinking 9? Too early?

ohnoppp Sat 20-Jul-13 20:08:03

Too early sorry

Teeb Sat 20-Jul-13 20:09:09

I think post 10:30 to 11pm would be reasonable.

crazyhamsterdisguisedasapanda Sat 20-Jul-13 20:09:56

Id go round now & say 'could you keep it down please as I have a toddler in bed'
I often have to do this with my neighbour

BeanoNoir Sat 20-Jul-13 20:10:41

Oh, that's difficult. I can see both sides tbh, it's really hard having a toddler and wanting to keep their window open and for them to get to sleep, but it's also Saturday night and it's so rare to be able to have fun in the garden on an evening. I'd be pissed off having the toddler who can't sleep and pissed off being complained at when I'd got a hot tub and settled in the garden for a night of fun with my friends.

If it's not a regular thing, is there anything you can do to help toddler sleep? Move them to a different room until later? I'm finding having a fan on in dd's room is drowning out the sounds coming in from the garden next door.

I'm interested to hear what mn consensus is on this.

Hassled Sat 20-Jul-13 20:10:50

9 is probably too early. They'll start getting maudlin and weepy soon enough and then it will quieten down. You'll only be able to hear the sound of them sobbing into their WKDs.

BreadNameBread Sat 20-Jul-13 20:11:23

I think you could ask now but apologetically IYSWIM.
They may be understanding.

Too early.

Be pissed off after pub shutting time.

Shut the windows/ play white noise from YouTube. If you've an iPhone the relax melodies app is bloody amazing (free) as it has ocean/ river sounds that got me to sleep last week when the street was noisy and it was too hot to shut the windows.

BeanoNoir Sat 20-Jul-13 20:12:22

I do think 9pm sounds a little early.

I know it's bloody late when you have a toddler - I'm usually ready for bed myself by then - but pre dc I would have found this pretty early.

Sirzy Sat 20-Jul-13 20:12:55

I would say at least 10pm and even then really it would be too early - I think noise laws only come in at 11pm don't they?

On a hot summers evening as annoying as it is I think you have to just grin and bear it a bit because people will want to be outside enjoying the weather whilst it lasts.

BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 20:22:17

I know, 9pm isn't that late on a Saturday night especially.

I don't want to be one of those really irritating neighbours who complains at anytime really. It's not even as if we know them as they've just moved in.

All windows are shut. I wouldn't mind as much if it was just that it'd woken her but she can't get back off to sleep for the noise and if this goes on for a few more hours shes going to be inconsolable.

Difficult one! Thanks for your replies. Maybe 9pm is too early, it's just they're SO loud!! It's as if we're blasting the music in our own house, if I had the tv on I wouldn't be able to hear it over their music!!

Cakebaker35 Sat 20-Jul-13 20:23:41

Hmm really tricky one, can see both sides. I'd probably ask them now if they could turn the music down a little bit please - that's annoying toddler or not if it's just blaring - then if they're still really loud later, say past 11.30, I'd go back again. Good luck, feel for you!

ubik Sat 20-Jul-13 20:23:49

Can you move toddler to another room?

HenWithAttitude Sat 20-Jul-13 20:25:02

I opened this thinking you might be my neighbour! My DD is having a sleepover with 5 others and they are all in the garden shrieking and shouting blush I have twice gone out and suggested a volume reduction... and hey presto it has happened (ish)

It's hard at this time but if I knew them I'd probably say something politely - often it's just lack of thought rather than belligerence

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 20-Jul-13 20:27:08

If it is so loud that you can't hear your own TV with the windows shut then they are taking the piss.
I would go and ask them to keep the noise down a bit so that you can open some windows.

BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 20:29:06

Their house kind of backs on to the side of ours and both our room and her room are on that side of the house. The spare room is on the other side but she'd still be able to hear them and there's no bed or anything in that room anyway. So no option to move her really.

I'm kind of hoping that soon she'll adjust to the noise and there won't be a need to annoy them! Wishful thinking probably!

I might be unreasonable but I actually find other peoples music one of the most annoying things ever.

I'd put up with the having fun noises but other people dictating what music you must listen to makes me Stabby and I don't think you should have music on in the garden unless its for a special occasion and you let the neighbours know.

RoseFlowerFairy Sat 20-Jul-13 20:33:34

I feel so bad for you.

Thing is it is Saturday night, it is lovely weather.

I would say something after 11pm.

BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 20:33:48

Oh god. Now their wailing along to the music. And not in bloody tune either.

Shinyshoes1 Sat 20-Jul-13 20:36:09

Too early to say anything now IMO it's a Saturday evening

I would wait until about then say s

Shinyshoes1 Sat 20-Jul-13 20:36:23


BellaVita Sat 20-Jul-13 20:38:39

Too early.

itsnothingoriginal Sat 20-Jul-13 20:39:48

I can't stand hearing a loud bass outside but I guess it's a bit of grin and bear it at the moment! I would definitely be around having a word if it gets nearer 11pm but they would probably be pissed off if you go around now.

Tonight outside I can hear karaoke, a ceilidh and a very loud cow mooing so a myriad of a racket - it's just going to be one of those nights grin

MrsWolowitz Sat 20-Jul-13 20:40:01

It's not too early.

Go and tell then to keep it down.

Yes they are just having fun but one of the considerations when moving into a house with close neighbours is to not be really noisy.


Put your DD and your sanity first and politely (and firmly) tell them that they've woken your DD up and could they keep it down.

maddening Sat 20-Jul-13 20:47:06

I think that the 11pm limit is a red herring and based on what is believed to be a time before which you can do anything - but there can be a statutory nuisance any time of the day - so if there is regular unreasonable noise it could be anytime. People do have a right to peaceful enjoyment of their own home.

so whether the ndn are a statutory noise nuisance depends on whether this is a regular occurrence - as v loud music and shouting on a regular basis is a nuisance - you just can't expect any ndn to put up with that. However, if it is a one off then it's wise to let it go on a live and let live basis but if it went on past 11/11-30 you would be reasonable to go round as ask them to consider the volume and maybe move indoors

BeanoNoir Sat 20-Jul-13 20:52:06

Or you could be really passive aggressive and get your dcs out in the garden at 6am tomorrow to play noisily grin

Not a serious suggestion btw, but I bet it's tempting.

MiaowTheCat Sat 20-Jul-13 21:02:48

I've got a neighbour who has late night barbecues in the garden all summer. I don't think he's malicious - I think he just got into the habit of having an empty house next door to him (took them at least 2 years of having it on the market before we bought it) and not having to consider noise, especially since usually they've taken their garden fence panels out and have the neighbours on the other side in the thick of it... trouble is it's right under the kids' room (and only a 2 bed house so not easy to move the kids unless you fancy a sleepless night of toddler restraint under the guise of sleeping) and their conversation gets progressively louder as the night (and alcohol) runs on.

I tend to view pre-10pm as the "world doesn't revolve around the kids' bedtimes" territory, 10pm-11pm as the "getting mildly irked" territory and post-11pm as the "I'll give it five more minutes and then dither about pretending I'm going to say something but then bottle it" time of the day.

Dreading the royal baby coming - he was still barbecuing in only his pants and a Union Jack top hat at 5am the day after the Royal Wedding!

Miaow your neighbour sounds fab! grin

alabasterangel Sat 20-Jul-13 21:04:58

You said they are 'new' neighbours? Is the hot tub a new thing too?

Yes, it's only mid-evening but maybe because they are new it would be an idea to say something politely, if you don't then they may continue to make it a regular event, quite innocently, not appreciating that you are being disturbed.

In my unfortunate experience there are two types of origin here, those who genuinely don't think about whether they are disturbing you or not, and those who maybe do and just don't care. I'd like to hope yours fall into the former category! Sometimes just a calm word can be enough.

You have my sympathies. My neighbours drive me insane & I know how invasive it can be.

BiscuitDunker Sat 20-Jul-13 21:20:22

I'd would go and politely go and ask them if they could turn the volume down a bit now tbh,you have a toddler who needs sleep a damn sight nore than they need deafening music. Yes its early,yes its a saturday and yes we're having amazing weather at the moment but that's not an excuse to force the neighbours into listening to a racket or waking up kids up.

Regardless of the time of day the noise shouldn't be so excessive that you can't even hear your own tv. I have personally gone upstairs and banged on my neighbours door to complain about her music because it had completely drowned out the sound of my tv-and it was only 10am! Most neighbours are nice and considerate enough to turn the volume down if you ask nicely but also explain why you're asking too. I'm sure the lovely ladies in the hot tub don't actually reaslise how loud they're being or that you have a young child that has been woken up because of them and I'm sure they won't mind keeping the noise down once you've made them aware of the disturbance they're causing smile Mine was perfectly happy to turn her volume down to an acceptable level when I asked,she simply didn't realise that it wasn't just her who could hear every single lyric lol

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 20-Jul-13 21:22:02

My tenancy agreement says 11pm.

maddening Sat 20-Jul-13 21:28:27

but that doesn't give you carte Blanche to make any noise you want to - any time it is unreasonable - especially living closer to other properties - eg flats, terraces etc.

Whothefuckfarted Sat 20-Jul-13 21:29:19

I'd pop over and ask about 10pm if they could try keep it down please thank you very muchly.

BuntCadger Sat 20-Jul-13 21:32:36

Can you pop her in your bed? It's hard as we have little ones here too and I love wet cold nights purely for the peace wink

JackNoneReacher Sat 20-Jul-13 21:44:06

If you can't even hear you're own tv, they need to turn it down. It doesn't matter what time it is.

BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 22:03:43

They've turned their music down now, but they're screechingis getting louder!! Theyre swearing and screaming ridiculously loudly. I've been out to speak to a few of our other neighbours about it (none who live as close to them as we do) and they're cross too.

I don't mind anywhere near as much if its just going to be an occasional thing but I'll be angry if its going to be a weekly occurrence.

I mind a bit more now they're shouting the words of 'better the devil you know' at the tops of their voices.

They're showing no signs of getting quieter either.

Turniptwirl Sat 20-Jul-13 22:07:33

Contemplating shutting my window and melting in my bedroom (hottest room in the house, it's st the top and gets the afternoon sun) because the neighbours are having a party in the garden. Don't feel I can say anything as my housemate semi-regularly sits in our garden being loud with her friends and they don't know that I'm quietly tucked up in bed when she's out there! Also as i rent a room I can't really move elsewhere in the house to sleep :-(

MrsWolowitz Sat 20-Jul-13 22:08:42

Tell them to be quiet!

Seriously, they are being utterly selfish and thoughtless.

CalpolInMyEar Sat 20-Jul-13 22:09:52

Do you live near me? My neighbours are currently alternating singing and shouting along to their loud music, shouting at each other and chanting "Po-LAND, Po-LAND, Po-LAND...'

This is all still preferable to the people who used to live in the house adjoining ours who would regularly play their music loud enough to drown out our TV...

Twatbadgers at the top of our street have been having a party since tea time. They are getting louder and louder and I may have to kill them soon. DD is having trouble sleeping and is in the quietest room.

OK it's one of their birthdays but ffs, there are 10 kids under 5 in our cul-de-sac - show some fucking consideration you wankers.

BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 22:27:58

Went round.

Asked very politely for them to keep it down a bit.

The woman who actually lives there said sorry and they'd try to keep it down. Then.....

Her friend came running through the hall 'what the f**k does she want?' Followed by a barrage of abuse, telling me to f**k off, they're not being that loud, she has kids at home and she wouldn't complain, then had to be held back by her friends as she wanted to ' kick my head in'

BreadNameBread Sat 20-Jul-13 22:31:17

shock. That did not go well sad
Oh dear! I am sorry to hear that. I hope the nieghbour is mortified.

MrsWolowitz Sat 20-Jul-13 22:33:01

What did the neighbour say?

That's awful!

JackNoneReacher Sat 20-Jul-13 22:34:05


still if she's threatened to 'kick your head in' I think you're well within your rights to call the none emergency police number and speak to them about her behaviour.

alemci Sat 20-Jul-13 22:35:34

her friend sounds a disgrace, how selfish of them. plus swearing at you is uncalled for when it isnt even her house. sorry to hear about this.sad sad

MrsWolowitz Sat 20-Jul-13 22:36:00

I second jack

If they don't quieten down (a lot!) then call 101 as say that you're too concerned to o back as you were threatened.

Terrible behaviour!

Callmedreckly Sat 20-Jul-13 22:36:55

Fuckinghell I knew it!

I was going to post earlier & say - approach with caution if they are pissed up.

Hope you are ok.

BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 22:37:41

The neighbour was just trying to control her and saying 'I have to live here' and trying to get her to calm down. She was ridiculous. They're not young girls either, they're grown women in the 30's and up over!

Obviously overestimated them expecting them to handle it properly!

To be fair, they're very drunk. Just hope they feel embarrassed by their antics tomorrow and get bored of the party soon. Although if anything, it seems to have made them louder not quieter.....

BuntCadger Sat 20-Jul-13 22:40:35

The fact that you were threatened means you'd be very reasonable to contact 101. Shocking behaviour

MrsWolowitz Sat 20-Jul-13 22:41:18

Then report them!

You don't have to put up with that.

valiumredhead Sat 20-Jul-13 22:41:27

I'd love a hot tub! <helpful>

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 20-Jul-13 22:42:37


Everyone likes a drink, no one likes a drunk.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 20-Jul-13 22:43:23

Definitely call the police. Hopefully the fact that her friend has been so awful means this will be a one off.

If its made them louder I'd be tempted to go round again if its still going on at 11 (or send your dh if you have one as this might inflame things less). If the actual neighbour is reasonable I wouldn't kick off to her but I'd ask them once more the quieten down, emphasising that you don't want them to be silent but just to show a bit of consideration, and that regretfully if any of then behave in a threatening manner or don't quieten down you'll have no choice but to call the police.

If you don't feel safe then I'd just do that anyway without warning them if they don't shut the fuck up.

I feel a bit sorry for the neighbour which is why if think about giving them another chance. If she was trying to stop her mate being a twat then she's probably a reasonable person.

alemci Sat 20-Jul-13 22:45:00

why get drunk and abusive, its so childish, if they were teenagers fair enough. are there any men around in the household..

BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 22:53:53

Yeah, my husband is here.

I thought it'd be better earlier that I went round, I thought it was a bit harsh to send a man round to a group of women but there's no way I'm going round again!!

My husband would go in a heartbeat but I think it will only inflame the situation even more to go again.

Would be helpful if another neighbour would go and say something now though!

hugoagogo Sat 20-Jul-13 22:54:03

My neighbours are having a massive street party with outdoor screens and lots of noise-nice of them to warn us wasn't it? Some people like to sleep at night, it's hard enough at the moment with the bloody heat.

Poor you op if it carries on I would call 101 rather than go round again.

bookforgoddaughter Sat 20-Jul-13 22:58:12

I know I am going against the grain but I would not call the police. I fully understand how tired and frustrated you feel right now, but calling the police could lead to a permanent breakdown in your relationship with your neighbours. You can speak calmly with them tomorrow and hopefully ensure they are more considerate in the future.

ubik Sat 20-Jul-13 23:01:21

I think you should let it lie now. Perhaps see your neighbour tomorrow and try to come to some agreement about noise

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 20-Jul-13 23:01:51

Your neighbour friend is a cheeky bitch. If its still going in at 11.30 I'd be calling police

Fakebook Sat 20-Jul-13 23:02:09

It's one night out of 365 days. Let them have their fun. Move your toddler to another room for one night. You've made it worse now.

MrsWolowitz Sat 20-Jul-13 23:06:25

Hope you're ok.

None of this is your fault. THEY were selfish and noisy, THEY threatened you.

You've done nothing wrong.

Shinyshoes1 Sat 20-Jul-13 23:07:55

Don't call the police it could break the neighbourly relationship before its even started

It sounds like your neighbour had taken your polite complaint onboard but her friend didn't and she was the problem
I'd see how your neighbour reacts when she sees you next she may even offer an apology

GameSetAndMatch Sat 20-Jul-13 23:09:49

its not 1 night out of 365 days though. ever since the heatwave started i bet everyones had the neighbour parties taking the piss and getting away with it with the excuse 'it wont last long, the hot weather so were going to make the most of it and fuck you all'.

and if other neighbours are pissed off too then thats more than enough incentive to call police, especially if you've been threatened, op.

dont care how bloody drunk they are, if they want to be pissed and stuff they should go to a nightclub.

hope all others on here with inconsiderate twatty neighbours are doing the 101 thing too, after midnight.

there is suppose to be noise law, so why isnt anyone taking notice of it? cos they find people are too scared to call poilice and so do it all the more. and all people are too intaimidated to 'fallouyt' with the neighbours from hell. and thats why they get away with it.

and breathe.....

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 20-Jul-13 23:10:17

Fakebook - seriously? You think the OP should have put up with not even being able to hear her own TV with the windows all shut?

That is not a case of 'go in another room', that is a case of move out to a hotel for the night to get some sleep.

If you want to scream and shout along to music at the top of your voice, then there are plenty of clubs with a license to let you do such things.
Doing it in a back garden when there are close neighbours is just rude and antisocial. Have a party, yes. Pretend you are in a nightclub/on a beach in Ibiza, no.

Two sets of our neighbours have parties occasionally. One set turn all their security lights on, throw open the back door and blast loud music directly towards our house while shrieking with laughter - it often goes on until 2/3am. I have called the police and environmental health more than once.
The other set have quieter music, people having a laugh and a chat but not so loud that putting the fan on in our DCs bedroom doesn't cover most of the noise. They are having one this evening actually, and since not long after ten they have been indoors and the volume has been turned right down. They are lovely neighbours and if on the off chance that they did have rowdy guests they would be mortified to know they had disturbed us. There is no need for me to call the police about these people, obviously!

BetterNotBitter Sat 20-Jul-13 23:14:21

I don't think I'd feel right ringing the police as the actual neighbour seemed apologetic.

Fakebook, if you read back through the thread you'd see moving toddlers not an option. I was perfectly reasonable, they chose to react in that way to a polite request, that's not me making it worse that's them being ridiculous.

One of them has just been sick, very loudly, but thankfully now all is silent. Hopefully it lasts.

Thanks everyone smile you made my noisy night pass easier!!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 20-Jul-13 23:16:55

Dear god how revolting. I hope your neighbour comes round with a big apology tomorrow OP.

Go to sleep quickly while it's quiet!

Aquamildred Sat 20-Jul-13 23:26:15

Mine are blasting music and shouting and screaming under dds bedroom sad

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 20-Jul-13 23:45:23

Tbh I don't think I could be on polite terms with a neighbour like that.

Can you imagine the chit chat over the coffee "do you remember the time your mate threatened to punch me?" "Yes, that was hillarious wasn't it? Such fun, I must ring her to see how her anger managements going, another biscotti?"

crazyhamsterdisguisedasapanda Sun 21-Jul-13 00:07:49

Why are people suggesting the OP moves her Dd , she shouldn't have to ffs its her own home !

alemci Sun 21-Jul-13 09:00:03

also when you move in somewhere you are the new person and you should be building bridges and testing the water not upsetting the people already established.

hopefully the neighbour will apologise and not let her friend speak to you like that. she doesn't even live there.

lunar1 Sun 21-Jul-13 09:16:00

Hope you took your DD out to play at 6am very loudly OP. I would be expecting a big apology after being threatened like that.

ubik Sun 21-Jul-13 10:08:17

I live in a flat and if above/below have a paty we often move our children to a different room - fortunately this works very well for us. It's a shame this wasn't an option fir the op.

Don't start a war - I have befn through this sort of thing, much better to have a talk with neighbour and work out how to get along.

hugoagogo Sun 21-Jul-13 15:17:27

Our neighbours were still going strong at 1.30am. gits

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