To think that it's really not necessary to put "serve and enjoy" on cooking instructions?

(58 Posts)
MrBloomsMarrow Thu 18-Jul-13 10:30:57

That's it really. Yes, I know it's trivial but what else would you do with a microwave meal when it's ready? You're hardly going to chuck it straight in the bin or feed it to the cat.

Isnt it meant more like bon appetite?

YouTheCat Thu 18-Jul-13 10:32:34

You might not enjoy it? grin

I like the instructions on Ainsley Harriot brand sausages - 'Prick with a fork'. So apt.

Flobbadobs Thu 18-Jul-13 10:39:13

youthecat grin grin
I once read instructions on a pack of rice that said "bring water to boil. DO NOT attempt to test the water temperature with your finger." Genius....

AKAK81 Thu 18-Jul-13 12:09:31

We should remove idiotic warnings and instructions off things and just let natural selection do the rest.

BlueStones Thu 18-Jul-13 12:10:59

Agree - it makes me cringe.

YouTheCat grin

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 12:12:58

Ah, it always makes me smile. It should say:
Slop on a plate and eat in front of the Apprentice final with a fork. Refrain from stabbing self with fork.
but I suppose that's too many words?

grin YouTheCat

MrBloomsMarrow Thu 18-Jul-13 14:05:17

Actually I didn't enjoy it, it was fucking revolting.

TheRealFellatio Thu 18-Jul-13 14:08:42

YABNU. I hate patronising crap written on food packaging. I particlarly hate it when a packet of burger buns says 'Ideal for barbecues' or a packet of scotch eggs says 'ideal for picnics' or mini Baybels say 'Ideal for packed lunches.'

Do they think we all just arrived from another planet and have no idea what to do with everyday foodstuffs? hmm

And all sorts of serving suggestions can just take a running jump as far as I'm concerned.

InsanelyBrainDeprived Thu 18-Jul-13 14:10:08

For some reason the allergy advice label on tins of tuna really wind me up. 'Contains fish' really? Is that necessary?!

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 14:11:29

yep, and bags of nuts contain nuts, apparently. Who knew? shock

peanutMD Thu 18-Jul-13 14:13:35

But how else would one know what to do when they have prepared a pot noodle although I used to get in a right old mess before they added "grab a fork" grin

PseudoBadger Thu 18-Jul-13 14:14:56

Some brand of bath emolient says "take care not to slip" on the label. I found the concerned tone quite sweet.

MrBloomsMarrow Thu 18-Jul-13 14:27:15

Oh God, don't get me started on serving suggestions. I bought a packet of burgers last week adorned with a serving suggestion of a burger in a bun. Just as well because I was planning on putting it in a fruit salad.

wriggletto Thu 18-Jul-13 14:31:32

I think it's marginally less tweesome than when the actual packet of Scotch eggs tells you how perfect they would be for a picnic and how much they love being smothered in yummy tommy k, because they're full of free range happy hen goodness, etc.

I had a Higgedy-pie last night. The cardboard box was chattier than most of my friends, and seemed to be on more intimate terms with my likes and dislikes.

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 14:33:42

Oh yes, now I do love a Higgedy pie but I have to approach it carefully if I'm not in a sunny, chatty mood. I mean, seriously. Sssshhhhh!

PseudoBadger Thu 18-Jul-13 14:44:11

Ah they must be mates with those Innocent smoothies.

cory Thu 18-Jul-13 14:44:16

MrBloomsMarrow Thu 18-Jul-13 14:05:17
"Actually I didn't enjoy it, it was fucking revolting."

tut tut, these people who can't follow simple instructions grin

TheRealFellatio Thu 18-Jul-13 14:44:16

I once bought a tiny box of Paxo, about 2" by 6" with a photo of a stuffed roast chicken on the box. It said 'This is a serving suggestion only. Chicken not included.'

LaBelleMadamePenguinSansMerci Thu 18-Jul-13 15:03:32

I think they put "serve and enjoy" so people know the instructions have finished, and there's nothing else that's meant to be on the end that's been forgotten.

Fillyjonk75 Thu 18-Jul-13 15:10:16

It just tells you that's the end of the instructions. It's a lot less twee than bon appetit and a lot less blunt than "That's it". Most ones I read just say "Serve". But I quite like some serving/cooking suggestions and have taken them up. E.g. cooking skate with oil AND butter. Oh yes, yum.

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 18:52:10

There's this thing called a full stop and a paragraph break that tells you it's the end though.

<may be hot and grumpy>

Fillyjonk75 Thu 18-Jul-13 18:59:39

Sometimes I've opened something and ripped through the cooking instructions though. It's good to have more clarity as to where the end is.

wriggletto Thu 18-Jul-13 19:04:24

'Serve' is quite terse. But I can't stop myself adding, 'I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT... and that verb takes an object, btw' when instructed to 'enjoy!' something.

God, the heat is really getting to me.

TheCunnyFunt Thu 18-Jul-13 19:37:24

On the bottom of the trifles etc 'do not turn upside down' grin

Trills Thu 18-Jul-13 19:38:01

What should they put?

The End

And they all lived Happily Ever After

PipkinsPal Thu 18-Jul-13 19:40:11

A tin of tuna proclaims "allergy advice - contains fish". I love the serving suggestions on food cans. I once saw a tin of corned beef with a picture of a couple of slices and a whole tomato.

CeliaLytton Thu 18-Jul-13 19:48:06

I like the tins of soup with a photo serving suggestion of soup... in a bowl.

Before this I was putting it on a plate and wondering why it was so hard to eat.

Trills Thu 18-Jul-13 19:57:39

Will it ruin your fun if I point out that they are legally required to write "serving suggestion" or similar if they picture anything other than what it in the packet?

Even if it's a sprig of basil.

CeliaLytton Thu 18-Jul-13 20:05:11

Yes Trills that has completely ruined the mocking.

Why would you do that?


(Although I suppose we could mock whoever decided on that legislation)

Tilly333 Thu 18-Jul-13 21:40:30

I worked with food labelling for a while... the reason you have to put 'serving suggestion' on the packaging is if the product is showing anything else .. yes even the plate... on the product shot.. It covers you in case a customer expected to open the packaging and receive everything shown. Believe me people have sued over it!

I once called Innocent Smoothies to report my concern that there was apparently a helicopter in the ingredients. They didn't seem to quite know what to do with me. But if they're going to be funny on the labels, they should hire funny staff to man the phones.

xylem8 Thu 18-Jul-13 22:03:10

OP I think you need to get out more!! wink

HouseAtreides Thu 18-Jul-13 22:03:57

I remember years ago, the Somerfield peas my parents bought used to have a picture of peas on the tin, a simple photo about 1/2 inch by three inches. Nothing else in the photo but peas. It still said 'serving suggestion'- as if it was suggested that you look at them through a small letterbox.

Brevitybabe Fri 19-Jul-13 13:11:14

The one that always gets me angry is "serving suggestion only" what else do you do - use it as an ornament???

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Fri 19-Jul-13 13:19:11

I like the "serving suggestion" pictures where they just have the foodstuff on a plate - simple, but to the point!

beeben31 Fri 19-Jul-13 13:23:44

I once bought the cheapest lawnmower that Homebase sold, the first line of the instructions about how to assemble it was "you may find this lawnmower hard to assemble".

We did & had to take it back to Homebase where the staff couldn't assemble it either. We had to upgrade and buy the second cheapest.

limitedperiodonly Fri 19-Jul-13 14:02:47

I had a Higgedy-pie last night. The cardboard box was chattier than most of my friends, and seemed to be on more intimate terms with my likes and dislikes.


What's a Higgedy-pie btw? I'm thinking of something made from hedgehogs.

Oh yes "heat me in the microwave but as your mother always says be careful when you take me out as I might be hot. I contain two of your five a day so I'm healthier than I taste. Enjoy me responsibly and serv me with cream"

It almost gets pornographic when food talks to you

MrBloomsMarrow Fri 19-Jul-13 14:23:50

Do you mean the pie has this stuff written on the packaging? Please reassure me the pie doesn't actually talk. Somebody mentioned talking scotch eggs earlier and I can't get the image out of my mind.

ImperialBlether Fri 19-Jul-13 14:48:47

I really hate it when people say "Enjoy" just before you eat. Ffs why not say, "Enjoy your meal" or even "Enjoy it." It's so bloody pretentious but really belongs in Pseuds' Corner.

It puts me right off my dinner.

The other 'enjoy' I hate (on a roll here) is that bloody song that Simon Mayo plays on a Friday. (Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.) And then he reads out notes from all the listeners who've waited until Friday to hear that song. Have they never heard of YouTube?

yoshipoppet Fri 19-Jul-13 14:58:57

I get unreasonably annoyed by telly chefs banging on about pan-fried this or pan-fried that.
It's so unnecessary - what else are you going to use for frying it in but a flipping pan? Why not just say Fried?

Thurlow Fri 19-Jul-13 16:44:07

A database I use at work asks me to "wait patiently for your results" while it thinks about stuff. I'm worried it has a webcam. How would it know if I wasn't waiting patiently? <worried>

And a bottle of liquid soap: "Protect from frost" confused

a deep fat frier?

IB what is a pseud?

Thurlow, if you start to notice cats appearing and disappearing in your line of vision, you'll know the database has noticed.

Thurlow Fri 19-Jul-13 16:49:26

Only cats? What about dolphins?

iot's been a very long time since I saw that film, were there dolphins?

If you want to have a laugh sometime, call the people who make the catfood and describe how you did not enjoy their product and neither did your cat. If you can pretend you ate at least two different flavours, to give it the benefit of the doubt, it's best. I asked them if they thought he might perhaps enjoy it more if I shoved the dead vole I found by the door into it?

And who can forget:

limitedperiodonly Fri 19-Jul-13 18:29:30

I looked up Higgidy Pies in Sainsbury's tonight. I feel quite benign to them but I didn't buy one.

for *Stealth*

IB I like Enjoy Yourself especially the Specials version. I do hate Simon Mayo though.

Chocolatestain Fri 19-Jul-13 18:36:04

I was once served a packet of peanuts with my G & T on a plane that said 'Open packet. Eat peanuts.' And there was me about to shove them up the nearest toddler's nose.

WilsonFrickett Fri 19-Jul-13 20:53:36

How do we feel about 'enjoy responsibly' on the wine?

<possibly about to not>

BlackMini Fri 19-Jul-13 21:27:27

I opened a packet of feta cheese today with a picture of cubed cheese on the front. It had "serving suggestion" written underneath. Made me chuckle and think of this thread.

limitedperiodonly Fri 19-Jul-13 21:48:21

wilson Have checked the bottle. There's something on the label but I'm not wearing my reading glasses and I'm fucked if I'm putting them on.

GOINGINSANEMUM Sat 20-Jul-13 03:30:40

Going off the topic of food, observed on my tshirt label, wash when dirty!! Reeaaallllyy?!?!?!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 20-Jul-13 04:05:27

One of my son's soft toys has a label that says 'do not iron'.

That had mum and in hysterics grin

wanderings Sat 20-Jul-13 09:13:49

Pancake instructions in brief:

Mix; stir; fry; toss. (As in the song)
No mention of serve!

giraffesCantWearSuncream Tue 23-Jul-13 07:59:15

Wandeeings thats probably because when you toss it it lands on the floor and dog eats it before you can serve it.

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