To go and lick my boss' chest?

(1000 Posts)
PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:22:01

My boss is as hot as fuck.

This morning he came to work in a grey suit, white shirt and black tie.

Mid-morning he took off the jacket. Since lunch he's lost the tie, undone his top button and rolled his sleeves up.

He sits just off to my left so I've got a great view of his chest through his top undone button. It really is a great chest. Tanned and well toned.

I just have this overwhelming urge to sit on his lap and lick his chest where his button's open. I know this is a bad idea but I don't know how long I can resist.

TVTonight Mon 15-Jul-13 15:24:45

Ha ha ha.

You know your IT dept is probably emailing him a screenshot don't you!

QueenofallIsee Mon 15-Jul-13 15:24:52

You know this is a bad idea? I may be QueenofallIsee but you are queen of the understatement! I am v jealous that you have a hot boss as mine is hairy, balding and female (true story) so I would be VU to lick her

HeadFairy Mon 15-Jul-13 15:26:33

Why don't you accidentally "spill" something down his top, it'll give you an excuse to offer grin

DramaAlpaca Mon 15-Jul-13 15:27:29

How on earth do you get any work done?


DameDeepRedBetty Mon 15-Jul-13 15:27:53

You win the prize for most intriguing thread title of the day grin

PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:35:39

HeadFairy Hmmmm, interesting.. an 'accidental' spillage! I'm actually just drinking some blackcurrant juice at the moment.. maybe it could end up ten feet away all over his shirt!

Drama I don't know, I really don't. On days that he's looking particularly sexy I actally don't get much done at all.

He's a member of the health club that I swim at every day. I told him that I'm going swimming after work today to which he replied 'sounds like a good idea, I might go for a swim later as well' shock.

Dahlen Mon 15-Jul-13 15:37:37

Are you both single? wink

PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:38:58

Dahlen Yes wink

flamingtoaster Mon 15-Jul-13 15:40:07

Dahlen has asked the all important question. If you are both single who knows what might happen when swimming later. How good a swimmer are you? Could you perhaps ask his advice as to how to improve your stroke .............

LimitedEditionLady Mon 15-Jul-13 15:40:31

Lol haha go for it....i dare you...

Dahlen Mon 15-Jul-13 15:41:12

Definitely go for a swim - we want an update later. grin

Dahlen Mon 15-Jul-13 15:41:54

Is there anyone else in the office? Perhaps he's performing a slow strip tease for you...

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 15:42:38

breast stroke? grin

NewAtThisMalarky Mon 15-Jul-13 15:43:07

Maybe you should offer to help him practice his breast stroke..

PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:43:41

I'm a very good swimmer but I guess I could feign a bit of a drowning.

Wishing I'd bought my more flattering halterneck bikini now rather than my sporty Speedo tankini. But that'd have meant sorting out my bush whereas my tankini covers a multitude of sins grin

NewAtThisMalarky Mon 15-Jul-13 15:43:42

Cross posted!

GoshlyoHeavens Mon 15-Jul-13 15:44:54

How would you feel if he was posting this about you?

PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:45:16

There's me, him and two other people in the office. I'm kind of wishing they'd fuck off home but I don't know why. I know that if it were just me and him I'd end up getting all tongue tied and making a twat of myself. I

Notafoodbabyanymore Mon 15-Jul-13 15:46:02

I need to know the outcome of the joint swim. OP, I hope you realise that you're committed to this thread now - we will require an update! grin

Dahlen Mon 15-Jul-13 15:46:13

Goshly - I think she'd be over there helping him out of his shirt... grin

PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:46:22

Goshly I'd be made up TBH. very bad feminist

PedantMarina Mon 15-Jul-13 15:46:52

>shamelessly place-marking<

carolthesecretary Mon 15-Jul-13 15:46:53

Ha ha ha!

Those were the days. Ogling in the office...

PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:47:19

Notafoodbabyanymore I realise that. I'll be sure to update later on unless I'm too busy shagging my hot boss of course

olidusUrsus Mon 15-Jul-13 15:47:22

Okay, well for starters you need to keep this thread going and come back later to update us with all the sauce that goes on in the swimming pool changing rooms. And no, stick with the tankini. He probably likes serious sportswomen if he's a member of a health club, not silly girls in frilly bikinis wink grin

Notafoodbabyanymore Mon 15-Jul-13 15:48:39

Best of luck! grin

GoshlyoHeavens Mon 15-Jul-13 15:53:05

Well fine. I think grey suits should be banned.

PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:53:19

Olidus Yes that's very true. I might go and do some stretches in the toilet before I leave so I don't pull something whilst trying to impress him! Not good for my 'serious sportswoman' look.

HeadFairy Mon 15-Jul-13 15:54:58

oh yes, don't go all silly and girly.... channel your inner Sharron Davies grin

DramaAlpaca Mon 15-Jul-13 15:56:02

Swimming? That's how my DH & I got together wink.

Good luck this evening!

PudseyDuck Mon 15-Jul-13 15:58:52

I'm off to try desperately get some work done.

Leaving work at about 6pm so should be home around 8pm and will update after that.

Ezza1 Mon 15-Jul-13 16:06:48

Super jealous envy Can't remember the last time I "fancied" someone or indeed thought anyone was hot as fuck.

<eyes DP with no lascivious thoughts whatsoever>

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Mon 15-Jul-13 16:12:00

hahahaha I swear this weather is making everyone feel horny!

Freudianslap Mon 15-Jul-13 16:12:37

Maybe if you turn the heat up a bit he will take more clothes off?

PlainOldVanilla Mon 15-Jul-13 16:16:27

I hope the pool is empty wink

therewearethen Mon 15-Jul-13 16:17:24

<clicks 'watch' in the hope OP posts a photo wink>

Enjoy your swim! grin


xylem8 Mon 15-Jul-13 16:20:24

..and if men were posting this thread about a woman...

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 15-Jul-13 16:21:34

If you're really serious about baging yer man, you need to take swimming pool fashion tips off this lovely lady


Challenge him to a race and beat him!

Sidge Mon 15-Jul-13 16:36:41

Proper LOL at Marmalade grin

I'm really hoping the OP gets to lick her boss at some point...

GoshlyoHeavens Mon 15-Jul-13 16:38:21

What are you doing about it, Pudsey? A bit of surruptious frotting or some lear?

It's too hot to shag.

Have you tried flirting though if you're single?

HenriettaPye Mon 15-Jul-13 16:45:55

Wait til ur at the swimming pool- then lick his chest smile

This had better not end up like Dan Snow Boss. sad

magimedi Mon 15-Jul-13 16:53:00

Shamelessly marking place!!

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Mon 15-Jul-13 16:54:34

He sounds like a fitty. Good luck for later!

TSSDNCOP Mon 15-Jul-13 16:56:02

Lets hope Hot Boss (HB) doesn't have to sit on the apex of a beach hut at the pool grin

KatoPotato Mon 15-Jul-13 16:57:34

Super excited for you...

HairyGrotter Mon 15-Jul-13 16:57:42

I love a man in a suit! My DP can barely escape in the morning unscathed when he's suited and booted for meetings (wears casual clothes when no meetings planned)...and it's never too hot to fuck!!

Anyhoo, resist but enjoy cooling down with the swim wink

TSSDNCOP Mon 15-Jul-13 16:58:53

Sparkling whatever happened to Dan Snow Boss (DSB) it cannot have been worse than sitting astride a beach hut and trying to clap to garner OPs affections.

confused <- not a HB face at all.

WaitMonkey Mon 15-Jul-13 17:17:33

<marks place for pool side gossip>

FeegleFion Mon 15-Jul-13 17:20:10

MarmaladeTwatty shock I remember that song...Don't remember the video being soft porn though!

Yy OP - I second Twatty you must take your tips from that video.

I cannot wait for an update.

ZingWidge Mon 15-Jul-13 17:23:46

excellent question OP grin

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 15-Jul-13 17:29:24

marmalade is the waiter in that video MR BEAN?

BlackMini Mon 15-Jul-13 17:34:12

I'm very jealous, wish my boss was sexy. Would pass the time a bit easier.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 15-Jul-13 17:35:50

I will be checking back for updates later! I've never had a Hot Boss to lust after. <pouts>

GoshlyoHeavens Mon 15-Jul-13 17:38:24

this isn'teven funny when there are women who are not allowed tos / peak

Men in suits <drool> df looks stunning when he wears a suit just beautiful smile

he's a bit porkier now though, more roger the alien belly than roger Moore

outingmyselfprobably Mon 15-Jul-13 17:40:50

Please please ask him out for a drink after swimming and report back.

BlackMini Mon 15-Jul-13 17:42:49

Actually, it might help if my boss wasn't a woman. Must work on that one first before aiming for a sexy boss.

Twirlyhot Mon 15-Jul-13 17:42:52

You sound creepy.

Fillybuster Mon 15-Jul-13 17:46:04

Great thread title....go for it PD!

<shamelessly marks place>

KatyMac Mon 15-Jul-13 17:46:48

Sorry; I'm with xylem8 if I man posted on here about his woman boss everyone would be outraged at him

GoshlyoHeavens Mon 15-Jul-13 17:48:48

very odd thing just happend to me; my posts were deleted. I was asking a question.

SigmundFraude Mon 15-Jul-13 17:49:29

'..and if men were posting this thread about a woman...'

The feminist klaxon would sound and the thread would take on a very different tone. If the sun wasn't shining, and if I was a little less hot and bothered, I might go into more detail........but the sun IS shining.

Enjoy licking your bosses chest, or if that doesn't happen, enjoy having a hot boss. So glad I'm a woman, and no-one's going to have a go at me for saying 'enjoy having a hot boss' grin

It's too hot to be outraged today. The chances of a man posting this about his female boss on Mumsnet are next to zero.

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Mon 15-Jul-13 17:52:24

Oooh, I love this thread - watching with interest.

One of the managers at my place was supersupersexy and I used to be on the verge of collapse every time he spoke to me.

headlesslambrini Mon 15-Jul-13 17:54:53

Am i the only one thinking that she needs a.waterproof phone. Waiting for an update till 8pm is too much to ask.

Buzzardbird Mon 15-Jul-13 17:56:13

Hmmm, salty chest.

Twirlyhot Mon 15-Jul-13 18:00:41

Yes. Getting involved with your boss is always a great plan.

Hotsfortheboss Mon 15-Jul-13 18:02:17

I also have a thing for my boss. Not hot as as such but very cute. Makes going to work very worthwhile.

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 18:02:44

I once fancied someone at work, I worked in theatre and had to help him dress/undress everyday it was awful...

FortyFacedFuckers Mon 15-Jul-13 18:03:03

Wow this was me 10 years ago, my DP was my hot as fuck boss and I licked more than his chest grin

Hope the swimming goes well, if you get that far

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 15-Jul-13 18:03:40

Yeah, the whole "if the gender roles were reversed" thing did occur to me too, but it's too hot and sunny to get caught up in all that jazz. The weather does daft things to me (that and watching Thor earlier!) so I'd welcome a hot man in a suit to gawp at.

FortyFacedFuckers Mon 15-Jul-13 18:03:54

Oh and YANBU grin

Euphemia Mon 15-Jul-13 18:04:59

Dammit I need to go for a plunge in the outdoor pool after reading that!

<fans self with Radio Times>

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 15-Jul-13 18:08:17

I'm just marking my place. grin

Futterby Mon 15-Jul-13 18:09:48

Ooh, placemarking!

Worriedmind Mon 15-Jul-13 18:11:28

Yeah what if the gender was reversed.

Because men never sit their with their mates talking about the fit woman at work do they.... grin

Pancakeflipper Mon 15-Jul-13 18:12:32

I thought "oh what if roles were reversed..."

But a hot boss is a hot boss. And very distracting in the workplace.

My attention and dedication to my workload suffered greatly the year I had a hot boss. And oddly enough my hair and outfits looked far better that year. I was young and obviously hoped he was as shallow as me he was .

Waiting for the update....

ManMinder Mon 15-Jul-13 18:14:19

Funny how it's acceptable to post this, I suspect if I posted something similar about my female boss and how she has great tits, that I'd like to lick, there'd be claims of sexism and much moral outrage.

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 15-Jul-13 18:15:13

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Man we have decided it's too hot to get all outraged, but feel free to start a thread......

GobbySadcase Mon 15-Jul-13 18:15:55

Yup go right ahead and engage in casual sexual harassment... Fab idea.

Pancakeflipper Mon 15-Jul-13 18:16:25

Have you a hot boss too ?

Far too hot to argue.

Euphemia Mon 15-Jul-13 18:17:04

Oh for goodness sake is no-one allowed to fancy someone they work with, and flirt with them these days? hmm

I think the hot weather has zapped some people's sense of humor maybe?

SamuelWestsMistress Mon 15-Jul-13 18:23:13

This is hilarious...if she's in this state over him in a shirt and suit how the hell does she expect to cope being confronted by him in nothing but a pair of swimming trunks?

Bet she checks out his bulge before she even makes eye contact! Do hope he doesn't have awful feet though. Ingrown toenails and bunions could put a downer on a y hot bodied boss!

saulaboutme Mon 15-Jul-13 18:26:03

You lucky cow!!

I really hope you get to satisfy this urge ( gosh I'm a perv) I love a mans chest.

Gosh I really am a perv!!!

Geordieminx Mon 15-Jul-13 18:29:13

And if a male posted "my wife is a lazy fucker who does nothing around the house" he'd get ripped to shreds too..

Sheesh the warm weather seems to have brought out the professionally offended again (((yawn)))

Fragglewump Mon 15-Jul-13 18:34:03

Lick him.....lick him.....lick him grin I chuffing love the summer!!

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 15-Jul-13 18:35:49

Oooooh OP, another jealous one here. Would love a 'real life' hot bloke to swoon over at the moment (I do love Hugh Jackman, but he's not here so doesn't count). Living vicariously through you today - keep us informed please!

carolthesecretary Mon 15-Jul-13 18:37:41

I hope you are licking his chest right now Pudsey... grin

FreckledLeopard Mon 15-Jul-13 18:38:21

Shamelessly marking place!

NandH Mon 15-Jul-13 18:47:52

Dammm....this is when I wish I wasn't a SAHM grin and had a job and hot boss to look at! I much prefer changing smelly bums and being picked on anyway smile

Have a nice swim and chest licking session!

ArtisanLentilWeaver Mon 15-Jul-13 18:51:55


Hotsfortheboss Mon 15-Jul-13 18:52:12

I have started some low level flirting flirting with said cute boss, am building it up slowly but hell it's frustrating and I can't concentrate....

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 15-Jul-13 19:01:08

*What if it were a man posting about a woman blah blah blah...."

Yes, but it's not, is it? It's not the same. There are hundreds of years of back history which add up to why it's not the same. That's not to say men can't be just as affected by sexual harassment - of course they can. It's just that if you went out and grabbed a woman off the street and told her a colleague of the opposite sex had been obsessing about licking her, chances are she'd be thoroughly freaked out, whereas if you repeated the experiment with a man, chances are slightly in favour he'd just think: cool.

Xales Mon 15-Jul-13 19:06:29

Shake a can of coke and offer it to him...

Video the results and send to us...

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 19:06:30

I married my cute boss

Is that some sort of extreme sexual harassment on my part?

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 19:08:32

lol honeydragon

<marks place>

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 15-Jul-13 19:15:05

Honey What if you'd been a MAN and he'd been a WOMAN? People like you are part of the problem, but you just don't see it.

SingingSands Mon 15-Jul-13 19:15:23

Hello, don't mind me, I'm just casually marking my place. As you were everyone...

catgirl1976 Mon 15-Jul-13 19:16:24

ooh envy

i want a hot boss sad

in the absence of one, can i live vicariously through you op?

lick him grin

Samu2 Mon 15-Jul-13 19:17:00

If she had said she wanted to lick his dick I think there would have been more of an uproar. However I see no problem at all with her wanting to lick his chest.

And I would have no problem with a man saying they wanted to lick their female boss's toned stomach either.

I hope you two do manage to go for a swim together.

ZingWidge Mon 15-Jul-13 19:18:57

honeydragon yes, it is harassment!

and I hope he has punished you accordingly as it is clear that you've been a naughty naughty girl!grin

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 19:19:28

people like who are the what now?

surely its ok to play?

shes isn't going to strap him down against his will and lick him till he cries

she fancies him and is trying to make a connection

How is fancying someone harrassment? confused

Futterby Mon 15-Jul-13 19:32:03

Ffs, why does every thread on here have to turn into a fucking argument? hmm

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 15-Jul-13 19:36:30

It's ok to think thoughts about someone you fancy. Otherwise almost all of us are sexual creepers.

How can anyone be outraged by this. obviously light hearted thread?

I know its hot but that's really no excuse.

Lick him OP!

OwlinaTree Mon 15-Jul-13 19:39:24

I'm waiting for the update and placemarking

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 15-Jul-13 19:40:55

Just to be clear... my most recent post was a piss-take. grin

Trapper Mon 15-Jul-13 19:41:11

Has the OP come back yet, what have I missed?

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Mon 15-Jul-13 19:41:44

Feminism doesn't want to ban people fancying each other, flirting, and getting together, you know. confused

envy OP.

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 15-Jul-13 19:42:02

<licks screen>

catgirl1976 Mon 15-Jul-13 19:42:10

If fancying someone is sexual harassment, then Jonny Depp should really have pressed charges against me by now.

LimitedEditionLady Mon 15-Jul-13 19:42:11

Oh shut up you people making this flipping boring.You honestly can say you never judt thought someone was hot as hot sauce?Well YOURE A LIAR THEN.
So there.
lick him.

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 19:43:27

<<hand head in shame>>

It wasn't his chest here though, it was when he took his suit jacket off and rolled up his shirt sleeves to go and help fix something on the shop floor. He'd come in looking all masculine with oil smudges.....

RhondaJean Mon 15-Jul-13 19:44:30

Shamelessly posting just for SN update on what happened at the pool.

DH has buggered off to the gym, I need entertained.

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 19:44:39

<<bumbles off to letch at dh's forearms>>

DawnOfTheDee Mon 15-Jul-13 19:44:41

My tea is nearly ready. Where is the OP? Has anyone licked anything yet?

Stropzilla Mon 15-Jul-13 19:45:10

Lick him! *happily part of the problem Jesusinthecabbagevan!

Not licking my boss tho. Tis my mum...ew...

DawnOfTheDee Mon 15-Jul-13 19:45:34

Oooh I love a nice forearm Honeydragon...

<drowns in own pregnancy hormones>

Samu2 Mon 15-Jul-13 19:47:15

I just licked my husband!

He looked at me like I was mad.

Waiting for an update <Taps foot>

LimitedEditionLady Mon 15-Jul-13 19:48:40

My boss is not this appealing.Must be hard hete for you.
(Tell me everything)

ZingWidge Mon 15-Jul-13 19:49:14

kvassin just to clarify, my post to honeydragon was a reply to her pp with a grin !

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 19:49:26

'I just licked my husband' grin

thats so funny

he would have looked at you even stranger if you had licked someone else

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 19:49:56

shes not going to update for ages

they'll be having hot, wet sex in the swimming pool showers

FasterStronger Mon 15-Jul-13 19:50:09

I think licking his chest would be too forward. you should straddle him, unbutton your shirt and offer him a lick. or whatever he wants.

I blame the hot weather.

I have no one to kick sad My son wouldn't like it. And I don't think the hamster is game for it either.

Caoilainn Mon 15-Jul-13 19:51:56

Hurry up Op! smile

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 19:53:21

I don't want to lick my kids, I know where they have been and I'm not licking Lolly

TeamEdward Mon 15-Jul-13 19:55:21

<eyes clock>
It's nearly 8pm!

<marks place>

Please don't kick your son/hamster Magic. sad

DawnOfTheDee Mon 15-Jul-13 19:56:16

Please don't kick anyone's not nice....wink

honestpointofview Mon 15-Jul-13 19:57:03

As a man can i just say to the men complaining about the thread - stop it. Seems reasonable to me and I want to know what happened!

OldMacEIEIO Mon 15-Jul-13 19:57:06

sorry. bit of 'empathy licking' there

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 19:57:11

lol kick instead of lick grin

DawnOfTheDee Mon 15-Jul-13 19:57:49

They both go swimming. I bet they look all fit and healthy. I'm seeing the swimming pool encounter as some sort of perfume-ad-esque affair with water slowly dripping down toned thighs as they gaze lustily at each other....

honestpointofview Mon 15-Jul-13 19:58:16

Sparkling -I don't think Magic should kick or lick either!

OldMacEIEIO Mon 15-Jul-13 19:58:53

she looked, longingly, into his deep blue eyes.....

trinitybleu Mon 15-Jul-13 19:59:33

marking place

Livvylongpants Mon 15-Jul-13 19:59:43

Shamelessly place marking. Shame my boss is a 50 year old woman.
Mi need a hit boss ?

DawnOfTheDee Mon 15-Jul-13 19:59:49

Her black eye make up is smudged sexily round her eyes....

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 20:00:22

As an aside to keep you all amused I sent my dh to the supermarket on Sunday the most chuffed man ever.

I was sat reading a book in the kitchen when he asked me if I need anything from Tesco. I said "I don't think so dear". As I looked up from my book he had pulled his shorts down to tuck his shirt In and was, ahem, commando as it were. It was I this point I went "cucumber, we need a cucumber". blush

Smuggest. Man. Ever.

OldMacEIEIO Mon 15-Jul-13 20:00:46

her breathing quickened as.....

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 20:00:53

<kicks trinitybleu really hard>

DawnOfTheDee Mon 15-Jul-13 20:01:24

Thank god you didn't say button mushrooms HoneyDragon grin

I knew you were joking, ZingWidge

<licks penis shaped ice lolly>

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 20:01:44

roffle honey, bless his cottons

Samu2 Mon 15-Jul-13 20:01:55

Kick my son grin

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 20:02:04

or q tips...

DawnOfTheDee Mon 15-Jul-13 20:02:44

.....he rubbed his chest with a white towel......

Oooh me fish and chips are here! Back soon!

Samu2 Mon 15-Jul-13 20:02:49

Isn't there no heavy petting rules at swimming pools? sad

KFFOREVER Mon 15-Jul-13 20:03:22

Marking my place. Its 8pm. Wheres op?

Is there any air-conditioning you can sabotage turn off?

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 20:05:50

Dawn pmsl at button mushrooms grin

HotCrossPun Mon 15-Jul-13 20:06:02

OP, I am very cross that I've just read through the whole thread and

1. You haven't updated gave us all the gory details yet.

And 2 - Describe the chest! Is it smooth/sprinkling of hair/full of chest bush?

I bet it was smooth. Like Ken's chest (Barbie Ken, not Livingstone).

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 20:09:14

Honestpointofview, has had me proper lolling

trinitybleu Mon 15-Jul-13 20:09:16

TrinityRhino oi! grin

Patosshades Mon 15-Jul-13 20:09:54

shes isn't going to strap him down against his will and lick him till he cries

ha ha ha haaaaa grin

I fancy a bit of licking now

Edendance Mon 15-Jul-13 20:10:19

Well... It's 10 past 8 now...??!

sittinginthesun Mon 15-Jul-13 20:10:25

Been years since I've actually wanted to lick someone. The thought of actually licking anyone in my office actually makes me want to throw up!

Mamafratelli Mon 15-Jul-13 20:11:33

She is licking him in the changing rooms. Dirty cah envy

I hope your lateness of reply is due to hot post-swim date rather than hiding in shame after accidentally snotting your face during your swim!

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 15-Jul-13 20:15:23

If she isn't back by 8.30 to regale us all, then I am afraid that she is doing the nasty with Hot Chest.


Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 15-Jul-13 20:15:36

Kvass can't believe you've sullied this thread by mentioning Ken Livingstone. Now I've done it too! Put me right off my ice cream that has...not really. Licks spoon.

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 20:17:05

sorry trinity but you're the only other trinity I've seen in all my years on here and I came over all 'that's my name bitch' on ya grin

TheFallenNinja Mon 15-Jul-13 20:21:00


Ou est la OP?

I just read all of this and was hoping for an update!

Dp looks hot in a suit but he's a builder so he doesn't I don't get it often grin

Secretswitch Mon 15-Jul-13 20:23:13

My neighbour's manky Lab just licked my nose..sadly I do not think it has the same impact.

trinitybleu Mon 15-Jul-13 20:23:38

TrinityRhino lol ... I've been trinitybleu all over the place since the first Matrix movie! But we can agree it's a cool start to a name, yeah? wink

elfycat Mon 15-Jul-13 20:25:00

Pressed the 'watch thread' option.

I didn't do that earlier and had to go looking.

SigmundFraude Mon 15-Jul-13 20:26:00

Preferable to be the licker than the lickee I reckon. Mind you if his chest is licked in the pool, then it will taste of chlorine. Does he epilate or similar.

If I licked DH in a pool, he'd get out and go home.

SneakyHateSpiral Mon 15-Jul-13 20:26:46

Marking place.

What happened OP?

ANormalOne Mon 15-Jul-13 20:27:29

Who on earth can be bothered to shag in this weather? I'm too eat to even get up and grab another ice lolly! grin

Crazycake Mon 15-Jul-13 20:27:50

My DH was my hot boss 8 years ago! Go for it and don't look back wink

tumbletumble Mon 15-Jul-13 20:27:51

Now I have an overwhelming urge to go and lick DH. It's all your fault OP.

inneedofrain Mon 15-Jul-13 20:28:27

Oh COME ON!!!!

Look you have to update even if it is "off for drinks etc" I need cheering up and I need to know about hot boss!

Update update update PLEASE

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 20:29:06

OMG you called yourself that because of the first matrix movie?!

so did I, thats how long I've had it lol

yes it is an awesome start to a name smile

sorry I kicked you smile

I'm actually quite sad that DH is on two weeks holiday. He's knocking about in shorts and vests sad WIBU to force him into a suit and make him roll up his sleeves... <drools>

Oooh I might lick DPs chest now.

He'll thank you for the idea [if he knew you gave it, which I will wholey take responsibility for].

TrinityRhino Mon 15-Jul-13 20:32:36

she hasn't updated yet cause she doesn't want to lie and she would have to update

'licked him
knocked stuff off desk
bumped uglies on todays post
now on route to bedroom with a weeks worth of juice, lube and tissues'

which is a smidge embarassing

TSSDNCOP Mon 15-Jul-13 20:32:40

Oh God. What if she licked him and he was all shock and confused vs wink and grin.

What if she had to take her contacts out and licked the wrong dude.

Disclaimer I am by nature a fatalist.

catgirl1976 Mon 15-Jul-13 20:33:03

i need a full description of hot boss in his trunks.

Water droplets dripping slowly from his manly chest. I hope he has a strong jawline with stubble, dark hair and piercing blue eyes. And is about 6ft 2, with nice, well defined arms.


MrsMelons Mon 15-Jul-13 20:33:31

I have never done this before but SHAMELESSLY MARKING MY PLACE!

headlesslambrini Mon 15-Jul-13 20:35:57

and don't forget that he will have a six pack <drools>

WaitMonkey Mon 15-Jul-13 20:36:19

Er, hello op ? We are waiting ?

Secretswitch Mon 15-Jul-13 20:37:08

PMSL.." if I licked dh, he would get out and go home"
My dh is still at work, so will lick him as he comes through door..

omri Mon 15-Jul-13 20:37:20

Marking my place too- op please get back to us tonight!!! Dying to hear!

monstermunching70s Mon 15-Jul-13 20:37:46

Oooh excitedly and shamelessly marking my place too!

WaitMonkey Mon 15-Jul-13 20:38:23

It's rubbish some times, being a SAHM. I am forced to order an enormous amount of stuff online in the hope of an attractive delivery person. It never bloody is. sad

Belchica Mon 15-Jul-13 20:39:15

I'm imagining all sorts of Bridget Jones/Daniel Cleaver shenanigans going on at the pool.

OP hasn't updated yet cos he's obviously asked her out for a drink as he wants to get into those massive tankini knickers....

TheHuffAndPuffALot Mon 15-Jul-13 20:39:50

Surely no news is good news?

(yes, yes - marking my place too!)

catgirl1976 Mon 15-Jul-13 20:41:39


We got a gardener a while ago. I was all excited, picturing some hot, young man in a vest

When they turned up, they were amazing hot.

And female sad

DH was thrilled angry sad

Secretswitch Mon 15-Jul-13 20:43:11

WaitMonkey, won't your dh/DP be upset if he comes home to find you licking the postie?

NotAQueef Mon 15-Jul-13 20:43:46

How did it go op?

UnexpectedStepmum Mon 15-Jul-13 20:45:28

Also awaiting update with bated breath.

It was the other way round for me, I was the hot boss! DH found another job to avoid the difficulties of us working together when we got it on. He now enjoys telling people that I seduced him and then sacked him.

sillymillyb Mon 15-Jul-13 20:45:36

Oh, I'm jealous - you all have people to lick! I want to lick someone!!

<stomps foot>

Stop licking and update us goddam it, op!

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 15-Jul-13 20:46:42

Nothing? NOTHING? Even if she licked him head to toe - twice - that's just taking too long about it. He'll be all pruney at this rate.

watchingout Mon 15-Jul-13 20:48:00

My virtual licking fantasies have now been shattered by the intrusion of the image of my postie confused

titzup Mon 15-Jul-13 20:48:04

Oooo I'm so excited, I can vicariously live through the OP! Thesedays I'm married and dull, but back in the day I too had a hot boss I had a major crush on (he was married, so nothing happened)!

So yeah, hoping you got it on OP!

trinitybleu Mon 15-Jul-13 20:50:46

TrinityRhino .... yep, I'd have gone for the blue pill, but trinityblue was already gone when I opened my first Yahoo account circa 1998. Been trinitybleu every since grin Before that I was Roobarb and my friend was Custard grin Our names followed one another on the Vax system at Uni grin

ZingWidge Mon 15-Jul-13 20:51:23


maybe he is licking her now...fx

Secretswitch Mon 15-Jul-13 20:51:37

Oops, sorry Watchingout! Perhaps your rag and bone man needs a old tidy tongue lash?

I don't think she'll shag him tonight.sad

She will lick him though. grin

Secretswitch Mon 15-Jul-13 20:52:54

Umm..AN old tidy tongue lash..don't want the pendants swooping down pissing on our fantasies!

bootsycollins Mon 15-Jul-13 20:53:30

This is the best thread ever! grin

TSSDNCOP Mon 15-Jul-13 20:58:05

Man she's going to be so bummed if the licking didn't happen. It'll totally take the shine off marvelling at the way them spinner things dry your cossie after a swim.

<worried and over thinking now>

QOD Mon 15-Jul-13 20:58:31

Oh come on its nearly bloody 9

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 15-Jul-13 20:59:03

The truth will never, ever be as good as our collective imaginings. Well, maybe apart from watchingout.

Cooey Op......over here......


SoupDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 21:01:01

Man she's going to be so bummed

shock on a first non-date??

They are in a nice city bar, sitting by an open window watching sunset and flirting. They are sharing a bottle of chilled sancerre and there is a nice breeze.

The boss is being very attentive. OP has not licked him yet.

Samu2 Mon 15-Jul-13 21:04:25

Maybe they didn't go swimming at the same time and now she is licking her wounds sad

Bumming is definitely a third date activity.

TSSDNCOP Mon 15-Jul-13 21:05:23

soup try not to lower the tone any further it's not Friday you know

TSSDNCOP Mon 15-Jul-13 21:06:09

<gives up>

honestpointofview Mon 15-Jul-13 21:08:03

Honeydragon thanks my lady - i have that effect on women!!

OR, evil witch from accounts with fabulously toned thighs appeared in pool in v flattering black costume and boss swan up and down with her looking fascinated by her witty convo.

And OP had to swim with slightly spotty teenage office boy who has masssive crush on her instead.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 15-Jul-13 21:09:25

Kvass Like it. Did he at one point reach out and gently tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear? If so, did she lick his wrist?

honestpointofview Mon 15-Jul-13 21:10:25

we want news op on licking and ice creams.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 15-Jul-13 21:10:52

Kvass Awkward x-post there grin

AgathaF Mon 15-Jul-13 21:14:51

Come on, what bloody time do you call this young lady? Spill the beans.

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 15-Jul-13 21:19:40

While we are waiting shall I regale you all with the time I moved in to give a thorough chest-licking to a v hot guy on a v hot day?

Ok then...

The moment was spoiled a little when I suddenly recoiled and fled to bathroom gagging and spluttering as my tongue shrivelled!

Nothing like a mouthful of man-strength antiperspirant to kill the passion.

flamingtoaster Mon 15-Jul-13 21:21:19

Well at least if she licks his chest after a swim and a shower it will be very clean.

Futterby Mon 15-Jul-13 21:21:49

Just licked DP's chest and he just looked at me like confused and went to make me cheese sandwich.

soupmaker Mon 15-Jul-13 21:22:28

This thread is brilliant. I'm just shamelessly marking my spot in the hope OP comes back and tells all.

I've never licked a man's chest, ever! Dh is getting out of the shower now.
Trouble is, if I attempt to lick it now he will think his lucks in

Come back Op!

honestpointofview Mon 15-Jul-13 21:29:07

we want news op on licking and ice creams.

ZingWidge Mon 15-Jul-13 21:29:37

MrZing's home!
he's jumping in the shower.

shall I offer to lick him? he'll be surprised...and might even be grateful to MN for the first time!grin

ah, the power of MN!

HoratiaNelson Mon 15-Jul-13 21:34:58

Just licked DH's chest - he couldn't even feel it through all the chest hair! he didn't find it even slightly odd...obviously used to my strange ways... grin

swooosh Mon 15-Jul-13 21:36:58

Place marking!

think ill pass on licking dh's chest

though if he was david tennant id be all over him grin

why is there no update? is op busy shagging having drinks with sexy hot boss? <hopeful>

DP is sadly at work so no licking here.

Although he is probably in the shower right now after gym session .. cooling off with all the other firemen... all tanned and that grin

<closes eyes to reality of firemen at DPs station>

QueenMaeve Mon 15-Jul-13 21:39:40

<stamps foot> we want news of the licking!

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 15-Jul-13 21:40:41

DH is way too hairy to lick. I may have to grope him a little though.

Come on, OP! I neeed an update.

RevoltingPeasant Mon 15-Jul-13 21:40:48

Fitter by that is pretty much how my dog would react to being licked...

RevoltingPeasant Mon 15-Jul-13 21:41:22

*futterby, DH

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 21:46:44

Rofl at RevoltingPeasants dog getting licked then making a cheese sandwich.

Best mental image EVER.

ruledbyheart Mon 15-Jul-13 21:53:06

Shameless marking here too... DP is at work so I can't lick his chest although if he brings me home a pizza I may...

watchingout Mon 15-Jul-13 21:53:17

Yum. Better now. Bye bye postie....

HenriettaPye Mon 15-Jul-13 21:53:40

Laughing so hard at this I may actually piss myself

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Mon 15-Jul-13 21:55:06

This is looking promising. I reckon OP is too busy to post....

JillJ72 Mon 15-Jul-13 21:57:21

It's looking like the longest lick ever......

Futterby Mon 15-Jul-13 21:58:17

HAHAHAHAHAHA RevolvingPeasant, seriously laughing out loud!

nowahousewife Mon 15-Jul-13 22:00:54

Where is the OP? Nearly 2 hrs late! Dirty stop out (she hopeswink)

scottishmummy Mon 15-Jul-13 22:01:20

I think don't shit where you eat,don't lick the boss
Shagging boss is a dreadful cliché
But hey plenty will disagree.but you've been warned

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 15-Jul-13 22:01:42

OP is sooo getting lucky right now! grin

Nagoo Mon 15-Jul-13 22:03:50

Depends how much you like the job, SM.. it might be worth it. Then the OP could be off to bigger things when it's all over.

saulaboutme Mon 15-Jul-13 22:04:13

Have come back for an update. Can't wait to lick DHs neck later....mmmmmm.

Hope it went well.

Pixielady83 Mon 15-Jul-13 22:07:02

I spent a summer licking my boss one year grin

It ended rather awkwardly but was worth it. It was only a summer job not a proper career type job so didn't really matter.

<staying up later than planned to get update>

LaRegina Mon 15-Jul-13 22:13:53

Marking place smile

MrGeresHamster Mon 15-Jul-13 22:15:32

Where is the op?????

<shameless place marking>

AndHarry Mon 15-Jul-13 22:17:08

Hello, OP? Do you need bail money?

sadlovedgirl Mon 15-Jul-13 22:20:13

also shamelessly marking place

MustafaCake Mon 15-Jul-13 22:24:14

Surely the gym has closed by now?

Perhaps they've gone for a drink <hopeful>?

oh for goodness sakes, this must be a very big chest that needs a lickin!
<comments to shamelessly mark my place>

Ezza1 Mon 15-Jul-13 22:27:05

Someone just had to mention firemen...

<excessively drools>

OwlinaTree Mon 15-Jul-13 22:27:30

Just licked dh chest. He seemed confused!

Kithulu Mon 15-Jul-13 22:28:21

Love the pic, defiantly would lick Brads neck!

Futterby Mon 15-Jul-13 22:30:50

Since I already licked DP on the chest and he made me a cheese sandwich, I just licked him on the cheek hoping for French toast. No luck sad

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 22:34:24

I reckon he read this thread through her works internet monitoring rules and is either

a) licking her chest!
b) stating his case for disciplinary as she used company PCs to post indecent material!

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 22:35:00

Futterby lick him on the knob, you might get a pizza

Futterby Mon 15-Jul-13 22:37:29

Good idea!

RevoltingPeasant Mon 15-Jul-13 22:38:17

Ah, Futts, you need to work out his system. For example, after judicious experimentation, I have learnt that stroking his hairy back will make the dog DH get me a beer, whereas rubbing his nose just makes him sneeze.

RevoltingPeasant Mon 15-Jul-13 22:39:53

Scottishmummy the whole shitting where you eat thing opens up new vistas of kinkiness. Or investments, as iPad prefers...

Futterby Mon 15-Jul-13 22:40:05

Well, no luck on the pizza front. Just a very horny confused DP.

Wish I had that kind of dog Revolving!

Heartbrokenmum73 Mon 15-Jul-13 22:40:12

Doesn't have a DP or dog - wonders what licking the cat will get her...

Elefant1 Mon 15-Jul-13 22:45:41

A scratched nose I should think Heart.

WafflyVersatile Mon 15-Jul-13 22:47:50

She's in a cell at the police station having been arrested for public sex at the pool, hasn't she?

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 22:47:56

Well, no luck on the pizza front. Just a very horny confused DP.

Well he clearly has NO IDEA about body language does he?! grin

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 22:49:03

Doesn't have a DP or dog - wonders what licking the cat will get her...

Arrested? grin

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 22:49:38

It does clearly state "No heavy petting" Waffly. No sympathy from me!

Cezella Mon 15-Jul-13 22:58:45

Sometimes I hate being single- I want a chest to lick!!

Come back OP

CheeseFondueRocks Mon 15-Jul-13 23:02:11

Sigh, I really need to go to bed now. Hope to find an update in the morning.

HenWithAttitude Mon 15-Jul-13 23:10:24

I'm sniggering at the thought of all the confused husbands getting their chest licked tonight

LimitedEditionLady Mon 15-Jul-13 23:18:53

I licked my oh neck earlier,he knows im weird so he thought nothing of it and just wiped it off and sighed.Thats true love.

Futterby Mon 15-Jul-13 23:20:55

Sounds just like DP and I Limited! grin

olidusUrsus Mon 15-Jul-13 23:35:14

She's definitely pulled. Or has been arrested.

HoneyDragon Mon 15-Jul-13 23:36:55

Thanks to Cezella, have just discovered I can lick my own chest ... I am more pert than I thought I was.

omri Mon 15-Jul-13 23:45:54

Goodnight op- hope you having fun wherever you are! Look fwd to the full story in the morn!!! smile

outingmyselfprobably Mon 15-Jul-13 23:46:27

She better have boned him after all this.

bootsycollins Tue 16-Jul-13 00:34:50


ZingWidge Tue 16-Jul-13 00:38:31

"momentarily out of action, temporarily out of town, she drives you wild!"

<sings: she's a killer Queen....>

outingmyselfprobably Tue 16-Jul-13 00:43:46

Just got into bed. DP has been asleep for hours. Licked him. He moved so got his shoulder rather than chest. "What are you doing?" 'Licking you.' "Oh." <<snore>>

I recommend.

LongTailedTit Tue 16-Jul-13 01:26:09

Ok, I've lurked on this one too long, and need my vicarious thrills please! C'mon OP! smile

Futterby Tue 16-Jul-13 01:32:08

OP, come back! It's pandemonium! People are licking their DP's/dogs/cats/other assorted animals (with mixed results!)

ZingWidge Tue 16-Jul-13 01:40:50


I agree, it's chaos! the newest craze!
I wonder if it is the beginning of a new cult..I mean someone licked the fucking screen earlier!grin

<ponders about the "monkey sees - monkey does" phenomenon>

Futterby Tue 16-Jul-13 01:45:57

Oh, sorry! DP's/dogs/cats/other assorted animals/inanimate objects! It's getting out of hand!

ZingWidge Tue 16-Jul-13 01:50:10

futterby is it viral? grin

Futterby Tue 16-Jul-13 01:51:54

It could well be, I've licked DP three times since reading this thread confused

Futterby Tue 16-Jul-13 01:54:29

Make that four. Help!

ZingWidge Tue 16-Jul-13 01:57:11

Did he appreciate the licking though?

I've resisted the urge so far.

but I had an MMR jab in May, maybe I'm immune to licking people/animals/non-icecream objects?

perhaps MMR really means Must Must Resist?

<ponders more>

Futterby Tue 16-Jul-13 02:00:33

I think he appreciated it when another poster convinced me to lick him on the knob in the hope of him getting me pizza but there was no such luck sad other than that, he just seemed slightly bemused and went to make me a cheese sandwich.

Secretswitch Tue 16-Jul-13 02:27:49

Well it's gone 230 now..I reckon that's a bunch of lickin' ..

olidusUrsus Tue 16-Jul-13 02:40:45

Have licked semi-sleeping OH. Nada sad

Enfyshedd Tue 16-Jul-13 06:23:53

Left this post open all night, and found OP hasn't returned! Wonder what's happened...?

My hot bod moment - in sixth form we had a guest poet who's just published his first collection in to visit the A-level English class. Needless to say, all the girls got autographed copies of his book - pic - was well jel when my friend got to meet him when he visited the book shop she was working in last year.

elQuintoConyo Tue 16-Jul-13 06:52:01

Up nice and early - thanks DS, why didn't you sleep til 9? I thank Enfyshedd from the bottom if my bra heart for posting that pic of Owen Shears swoons , that was worth waking ridiculously early for!
Gagging to know what went on last night - apart from a mass lick-in across the UK!
Come back, OP; don't you know what you've started?

Fragglewump Tue 16-Jul-13 07:20:15

Op we are now getting concerned- if you've been licking all night you may get RSI of the tongue. You've done enough now so do pop back and update us! Thanks!

GiraffesAndButterflies Tue 16-Jul-13 07:22:08

Walk of shame this morning OP? grin

Ahem OP!

Can I point you to the Talk Guidlines which state you must bloody well come back and update us about chest licking.

Buzzardbird Tue 16-Jul-13 07:43:59

I fear some licking whilst attempting butterfly stroke type accident sad

KoalaFace Tue 16-Jul-13 07:59:44

How have I read 13 pages of every other one of you perve's licking adventures but OP is nowhere to be seen? angry

Messing with my fragile, pregnant lady emotions. It's not kind OP.

no update? sad

LEMisdisappointed Tue 16-Jul-13 08:21:54

Can you imagine the outrage if this was written by a man!!!

Fancydrawers Tue 16-Jul-13 08:23:00

Why outrage? Lighten up!

MrsMelons Tue 16-Jul-13 08:25:19

Oh its a bit of fun, men surely talk like this between themselves? I can't see a problem really.

Leverette Tue 16-Jul-13 08:27:44

So, who works in a department where male boss and female colleague have pulled a sickie today?

ZillionChocolate Tue 16-Jul-13 08:36:46

Maybe he was icy cool after the swim and OP's tongue is stuck to him like when you lick an ice cube. No other excuse for not updating I don't think.

Samu2 Tue 16-Jul-13 08:37:55

I would not be outraged. Some people do need to lighten up for sure.

I don't think OP is coming back sad

bobbywash Tue 16-Jul-13 08:38:02

MrsM Yep and that's what men say when talking about Women as sex objects.

I have no problem with anyone doing that in relative privacy, but don't have double standards about it, it's either wrong or it isn't. You also have to remeber this isn't a cosy chat on a sofa between a few friends, this is a publc forum. I have seen outrage on here when mens conversation in private was overheard about how they would like to do something sexual to a woman.

It's the hypocricy not the thread (which I read through)

headlesslambrini Tue 16-Jul-13 08:38:05

Still no update? Must have got lucky although she would have to have gone the loo at some stage so no excuse really!!

inneedofrain Tue 16-Jul-13 08:40:36

Oh fgs!

Having run a very very large company and had over a 100 direct reports both male and female I can tell you for FACT that both sexes do this!

Guys will send an email saying "having you seen the fit bird that had just started" Ladies will send ones saying "He is SOOOOOOO hot"

How do I know this is a fact? Becuase I have read the emails! Saw the office flirtations, dealt with it when is got out of hand / went to the marriages when it went right, helped dry tears when relationships broke down.

As long as no one (man or women) is being pestered, harressed or is getting unwanted attention OR it is effecting work / working relationships I don´t see the issue!

HenriettaPye Tue 16-Jul-13 08:45:51

I don't think OP is coming back hmm

ArtisanLentilWeaver Tue 16-Jul-13 08:51:55

OP will be arriving at work soon having not slept a wink.<cough> Boss will arrive, the air will crackle with lust and they will end up at it in the stationery cupboard.


cardamomginger Tue 16-Jul-13 08:53:09

Still nothing? FFS.

Edendance Tue 16-Jul-13 08:56:05

Where arrrrrrrreeee you??! How long before we get worried?! Can MN file a missing person report?! hmm

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Tue 16-Jul-13 08:56:10

I've taken the day off work to stay on this thread OP.

Lj8893 Tue 16-Jul-13 09:01:40

Oh my god I have just read this whole thread and the OP hasn't even replied yet!!!!!

And now I'm late for work. Dammit OP!!!

ZingWidge Tue 16-Jul-13 09:08:22


you took a day off work for this?shock
well it's definitely out of hand now!grin

futterby we definitely have an epidemic on our hands.
people are now sleep deprived, missing work and getting hysterical.
what to do?
is there a soothing anti-licking dose to be administered?

<scared to go out and living in fear of being licked by strangers>

pickofthepops Tue 16-Jul-13 09:11:53

I need an update confused

worldgonecrazy Tue 16-Jul-13 09:18:25

I'm also waiting for updates. Maybe the OP did something that counted as gross misconduct, has been sacked and has no access to the internet?

Or maybe it went well and she and the boss are eating hotdogs and walking barefoot in Central Park?

Mouseface Tue 16-Jul-13 09:24:27

I too have read this thread...........

If a had male posted this, he'd have been set alight by now! Just sayin....... wink

No word from the OP then?

PudseyDuck Tue 16-Jul-13 09:34:02

I'm so sorry I didn't come back and post last night- I went out for a drink with my boss after swimming. Yes you read that right people, we went out for a drink.

So I arrived at swimming at about 6.30pm and by 7pm he hadn't shown up so I was a bit sad but mostly concerned about the disappointment I'd cause on MN.

Anyway, just after 7pm he came out of the men's changing rooms in his tighty whiteys (ok they weren't white but they were quite tight speedos). I seriously almost fucking drown. You know when you were about 15 and when you see someone you fancy your tummy just flips and you're like 'try and look cool, try and look cool' but you can't stop yourself grinning like a fucking psychopatth. So that was me.

He looked hotter than every in his speedos by the way. Toned, nicely tanned- good enough to lick.

So he got in and we chatted and then we did some swimming and then I did some underwater swimming so I could check out his body properly.

After about 45 minutes (don't forget I'd already been swimming 30 minutes longer than him so I was fucking knackered by this point), he said he was going to get out and did I fancy going for a drink and something to eat?!

Errrm, let me think. Yes!!

So I had a shower, dried my hair, put a bit of a face on and got dressed the quickest I ever had in my life (wanted to make it seem effortless and didn't want to keep him hanging around for me).

So we went to a pub around the corner and had a couple of pints and a sharing Mexican plate and I didn't end up getting home until about 11.30pm at which point I just collapsed into bed, unfortunately alone.

I was going to update on my phone in the toilet but a) I'm shit at MNing on my phone and b) it takes me ages and I didn't want him to think I was having a massive poo.

Anyway, the pub was great. It was just amazing to have him all to myself as usually we're either at work or in the pub with the whole team. We were both quite tipsy and it all got a bit flirty. You know, more casual tapping and touching than is strictly necessary that sort of thing. We got onto the topic of swimming and he said something along the lines of me looking great (and he did actually use the word great) in my swimming costume grin to which I replied, 'you don't look so bad yourself' wink. To which he replied 'ah you always look great' shock grin

We got separate taxis home and had a hug and a kiss (on the cheek!) goodnight whilst we were waiting for our taxis. And during the hug he definately, definately brush my arse with his hand. Proper shivers up the spine moment.

Anyway, he's not in the officce until about 1.30pm today and I'm nursing a bit of a hangover- I don't usually drink on a school night. He emailed me first thing this morning with a work-related question. And a PS saying 'had fun last night ;-)'

Oh God, I actually feel like a 13 year old school girl blush

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 16-Jul-13 09:37:24

grin you go OP!

ZillionChocolate Tue 16-Jul-13 09:37:43

Hurrah! grin

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Tue 16-Jul-13 09:37:55

He so wants to bone you!

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 16-Jul-13 09:38:00

envy grin

Ahh a great update! Cheers
Fingers crossed you actually get to lick him next time smile

Pixielady83 Tue 16-Jul-13 09:39:12

squeaking with excitement for you! this sounds v promising! smile

bit disappointed at lack of licking though wink

Hmmkay Tue 16-Jul-13 09:39:15


it takes me ages and I didn't want him to think I was having a massive poo grin love it

Get in there Pudsey grin

PudseyDuck Tue 16-Jul-13 09:40:37

property bone- lol... haven't heard that word since school.

I have no idea how I'm going to get any work done today. Too horny. blush

PudseyDuck Tue 16-Jul-13 09:42:07

Hmmkay I was worried that if I updated MN in the toilet he might say 'what took you so long?'- then I don't know what's weirder me saying I'm telling loads of ladies on the internet about our evening because I have previously told them that I want to lick you. Or I was having a poo. Either way, not a good look!

FasterStronger Tue 16-Jul-13 09:42:51

when you do, get him into bed, will you lick his chest and update this thread?

grin grin

Lottapianos Tue 16-Jul-13 09:43:12

Oh how fantastic! He sounds dead keen. So excited for you!

Eek this is so exciting!! I'm a bit envy of that new fancying someone feeling!

StyleManual Tue 16-Jul-13 09:43:39

Oh my god that is so exciting. Hope you're back with a chest licking update soon!

CalamityGin Tue 16-Jul-13 09:43:46

swoons for the both of you grin

itsliz Tue 16-Jul-13 09:44:11

This really is the best thread ever! So happy for you OP! grin

I realise I'm a bit late to the party by the way, but only spotted this thread before going to bed last night, so I had to catch up properly on my way to work...
Safe to say I'll be keeping a close eye on any updates from now on though wink

HighBrows Tue 16-Jul-13 09:44:22

Best update ever! Pudsey this has potential!

I'm very giddy at the licking epidemic grin

MidniteScribbler Tue 16-Jul-13 09:44:52

So jealous. There's been no licking of any kind around here (except the dogs and we just won't go there).

Go for it OP. Life's too short!

goldface Tue 16-Jul-13 09:44:59

shameless place marking cos this sounds like it has legs!

(love the massive poo bit)

therewearethen Tue 16-Jul-13 09:45:19

Yay well done! grin remembers when DP used to make my stomach all funny many, many moons ago

StyleManual Tue 16-Jul-13 09:46:39

Any one else imagine he looks like Myles off the Apprentice?

bootsycollins Tue 16-Jul-13 09:46:58

Go Pudsey! Hoorah! grin

Marmotte3 Tue 16-Jul-13 09:47:23

This made smile this morning, a possible romance in the making. Enjoy every tummy fluttering and heart palpitating moment.

I hope the hangover is gone and you're bright and breezy by the time he walk in smile

NandH Tue 16-Jul-13 09:48:02

Yippeeeee :-D

Hmmkay Tue 16-Jul-13 09:48:06

Yes I'm not sure what would be worse (that you were having a poo or updating everyone on t'internet)!

So glad it went well! Maybe this could be the start of something really special... Or just a great shag grin

envy I've never had a hot boss

trinitybleu Tue 16-Jul-13 09:48:38

ooohhhhhh! sounds promising! good luck!

mootime Tue 16-Jul-13 09:49:11

Been lurking but now need to post! What a great update. So jealous. My hot boss is still very hot, no longer my boss, but my hubby of 7 years and the father to my children grin
I remember so well those flutters at work. All it took was one drink after work and it went from there!!

My boss looks like an uglier mick hucknall sad

EatingAllTheCrumpets Tue 16-Jul-13 09:53:35

At last an update, I've been frantically checking grin

Sounds like licking may well be on the cards at some point.

However it had set my expectations of work this morning way too high. I was hoping there might be someone new starting, and they may be worth a daydream..... There isn't envy

PetiteRaleuse Tue 16-Jul-13 09:53:48

I've so been lurking on this thread and was hoping for an update like this.


Glowbuggy Tue 16-Jul-13 09:54:20

I was you once Pudsey! We are married now.....

Blimey. I actually just said "squeeeeeee" out loud.

Are you going swimming tonight?

Bloody brilliant outcome!

MissSparrow Tue 16-Jul-13 09:55:45

gringringringringringringrin best thread ever!!! Well done OP, you've got people all over the country smiling this morning!!

LaRegina Tue 16-Jul-13 09:56:12

Aw I love a fledgling romance smile - so romantic....

Shag him next time tho grin

worldgonecrazy Tue 16-Jul-13 09:57:37

Sounds good, but with my sensible head on, if it does develop into a relationship how will it affect your work? Is your job something that is easily transferable if you had to move to another company? Does he have form for shagging employees? These are all things you might want to think about before licking his chest.

NeopreneMermaid Tue 16-Jul-13 09:57:55

This thread has made a hideous night with an insomniac toddler, a dose of the shits and DH away not only bearable but enjoyable. (And DEFINITELY no licking going on here envy ).

OP, we are all expecting chest licking an update at 1.35pm.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 16-Jul-13 09:58:30

OMFG this could NOT have turned out better grin

And he has already (almost) seen you with no clothes on so no awkwardness when you do get down to business.


TSSDNCOP Tue 16-Jul-13 09:58:50

Way to go OP, was so worried you'd lick a complete stranger without your contacts in.

Did you know you've started a whole new lick craze across the nation?

Your country thanks you OP!

So happy for you OP but I just have to ask - are Speedos cool again?

TrinityRhino Tue 16-Jul-13 10:02:34

wooohooo lovely update

when you get together properly you'll have to tell him about this thread grin

TSSDNCOP Tue 16-Jul-13 10:02:50

Akiss as with all things context is everything. For instance on HB, yes. On the fat, hairy Russian chap on the deck chair next to me, very, very nicht!

lizzypuffs Tue 16-Jul-13 10:04:22

Excellent! Brilliant OP. I hope the hangover clears by 1.30pm.

inneedofrain Tue 16-Jul-13 10:04:58


Greatnews Pudsey.

Go for it! Sounds like you both had a nice night!

Oh, yea new romance is always a good thing

KoalaFace Tue 16-Jul-13 10:05:09

Hurray! This is great, all lovely, fluttery tummy romance.

But when will you lick him?

cardamomginger Tue 16-Jul-13 10:05:54


Please update when he has come into the office!


newestbridearound Tue 16-Jul-13 10:06:14

Been lurking for ages, go OP grin

I miss the butterflies in the tummy sensation! I hope we get to hear future updates smile

envy my boss looks like Harry Hill.

NicholasTeakozy Tue 16-Jul-13 10:07:50

Way to go Pudsey! grin

LaRegina Tue 16-Jul-13 10:08:29
WilsonFrickett Tue 16-Jul-13 10:09:20

Go OP grin. ooooh it'll be all flirty-gerty in your office today, all 'can I borrow your stapler' and 'I need the Johnson accounts in my office Pudsey <meaningful look>.

Fuck I wish I worked in an office envy

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 16-Jul-13 10:09:51

I do hate to be the boring old fart at the party (yeah right) but I would be looking for a new job so you can pursue this without any pressures smile

PudseyDuck Tue 16-Jul-13 10:10:35

AKiss They are when you fill them out as well as my boss

lurked Yep, I go every night after work. I think he already knows this but I might just remind him again.

world He doesn't have form for shagging employees as far as I know. He doesn't strike me as that type of guy either to be honest. There's been sexual tension bubbling up between us for some time so I don't think this is the sort of thing he does with everyone. With a sensible hat on, it wouldn't really affect my job to be honest. Although he's my line manager, he's not my 'boss' as such. So although I have my development reviews with him, he doesn't 'manage' me and doesn't have any power over my career. What I mean is that if things went a bit sour between us, he wouldn't have any real capacity to have any sort of negative effect on my career, if you see what I mean.

SamuelWestsMistress Tue 16-Jul-13 10:10:40

Oooooh now this is very exciting! Keep us updated on any more progress this if he calls you into his office swipes everything off his desk and has some kinky with you there and then.

That happened to me once when I worked for Philip Glenister...oh hang on...that's just a fantasy in my head. sad

PedantMarina Tue 16-Jul-13 10:11:59

Aaannnnd breathe.

Thanks for the update, OP.

And, ahem, HeartbrokenMum - I have to take issue with you. From what I've heard, Ken is quite the endowed gentleman.

PudseyDuck Tue 16-Jul-13 10:12:46

LaRegina Where did u find the picture of my boss? wink No seriously, he does look a bit like this chap. Swoon.

KFFOREVER Tue 16-Jul-13 10:13:21

Great update! Im so excited for you.

ZingWidge Tue 16-Jul-13 10:13:40

that's a very good non-date first date!

ahhhh, thanks for update!

<whistles "Love is in the air">wink

saulaboutme Tue 16-Jul-13 10:15:02

Nice one OP!

Ooh how fab for you! And thank you for getting us all licking last night, my DH would thank you too if he knew the reason I got him sweating was because of your inspiration!

I'll be watching for an update and hope you get to lick his hot chest soon!

ZingWidge Tue 16-Jul-13 10:15:23

pudsey he doesn't "manage" you?

he'll have to from now on!grin

LaRegina Tue 16-Jul-13 10:15:23

OMG Pudsey if that is true envy

Um - where do you work btw, just out of interest? grin

QueenMaeve Tue 16-Jul-13 10:17:53

Hurrah! Love it

cardamomginger Tue 16-Jul-13 10:17:59

Do you have the halterneck bikini with you today??? wink

worldgonecrazy Tue 16-Jul-13 10:19:54

In that case, if I were in your shoes, the desk would be broken by 1.35 p.m. grin

Have fun.

Woo hoo Pudsey! grin

I just did a squeaky snort in Kwik Fit reading this. blush

Belchica Tue 16-Jul-13 10:21:10

Way to go OP!! That update was totally worth waiting for. I have butterflies in my tummy for you.

Jojobump1986 Tue 16-Jul-13 10:26:51

I was supposed to be leaving the ho