To go out knowing DD can't get home

(34 Posts)
littlewhitebag Sat 13-Jul-13 10:15:19

DD (age 15) went to sleep over with friends last night. I asked her to find out what the plan might be for today and let me know so DH and i could organise our day.

I text her last night to remind her and i know she read the message but no reply.

Text again this morning. No reply

Have now text her to say DH and i are going out for the day (she knows what we were planning to do) and hope she has money for a taxi and a key to get in. I know she has neither. No reply.

Is it reasonable just go out as planned or go and leave a key and £10 under the mat so she can get home?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 13-Jul-13 10:18:59

I would worry if no reply. Do you have someone elses number? YABU by the way.

mrsjay Sat 13-Jul-13 10:19:17

did you not phone her instead ? i would go out and let her get on with it as long as she can get home and get in why should you hang about waiting for her-- ladyship-- grin to get home, I would phone and not text though did she take her charger with her

NeedSomeSun142 Sat 13-Jul-13 10:19:34

is she ok?

RoxyFox211 Sat 13-Jul-13 10:19:58

Yanbu. Long as she's safe with a friend and can call you if she needs to, like an emergency. Maybe txt her and say where the money and key are.

PavlovtheCat Sat 13-Jul-13 10:20:02

Why don't you actually telephone her, instead of texting?

SirBoobAlot Sat 13-Jul-13 10:20:04

YABU.

I'd be worrying by now.

ImNotBloody14 Sat 13-Jul-13 10:20:29

What would be the point of leavjng £10 inder the mat i she cant get to your house to get it? confused

DawnOfTheDee Sat 13-Jul-13 10:20:44

Don't get why would text her saying you hope she has a key/money when you know she doesn't. I would've just said as you haven't replied we're doing x.

When I was 15 I was forever forgetting my keys so had come up with 2 ways to break in to my own house. i would've been fine wink

Anyway the weather's nice so she can always sit in the garden and wait for you to get back.

PavlovtheCat Sat 13-Jul-13 10:20:55

you hope she has money for a taxi? surely you would know if she does? She is 15, so doesn't earn her own cash yet?

littlewhitebag Sat 13-Jul-13 10:21:06

i know exactly where she is, she just hasn't bothered to do as we agreed and let me know her plans. she also isn't checking her phone obviously so phoning her would be pointless.

3littlefrogs Sat 13-Jul-13 10:21:11

Ring the land line of the person with whom she is staying. (As she is 15 I would assume you have the address and phone number).

Her phone may be out of battery/credit.

PavlovtheCat Sat 13-Jul-13 10:22:37

well, a txt goes 'bleep' or whatever, whereas a telephone call goes 'ring ring ring ring ring ring...' for as long as you want it to/until she is so annoyed she answers it, if she has credit.

mrsjay Sat 13-Jul-13 10:22:41

I would try and get in touch with her first before I went out I wouldnt just go but I wouldnt wait in for her either IYSWIM id be annoyed and worried if she hadn't text back

Yonihadtoask Sat 13-Jul-13 10:22:42

Telephone her, instead of texting.

She is being inconsiderate by not replying and holding up your plans.

I would prob leave a key somewhere, and let her make her own way home.

littlewhitebag Sat 13-Jul-13 10:23:45

pavlovthecat she has money, but i don't think she took her purse.

She is a lovely sensible girl, but a bit scatty at times.

I am just making her sweat a little. I wouldn't go out and leave her stranded!

I am being fairly lighthearted here!!

edlyu Sat 13-Jul-13 10:24:02

If she has form fior this sort of non contact when with friends then fine -go out and enjoy your day.She will be okay either with friends or being a martyr in the back garden all alone on such a lovely day.

If she usually lets you know her movements though I would be worried and would have phoned after the second non reply.Or at least phoned the house phone/friends Mum to check she is okay.

PavlovtheCat Sat 13-Jul-13 10:24:12

And I am not suggesting you need to be lovely and sweet about it. You can be pissed off, once you know a) she is ok and b) she is aware you are going out and has a plan in place to deal with that if not back

But, just give her a call.

SkinnybitchWannabe Sat 13-Jul-13 10:25:10

Maybe shes still asleep. I know my 14 year old ds doesnt normally go to sleep until the early hours of the morning when he stays at a mates and doesnt get up until about 12ish. Ring the parent, just texting is obviously not working.

PavlovtheCat Sat 13-Jul-13 10:25:11

I am still scatty and I am 36! I often forget to charge my phone before I go out so it runs out of charge. Drives DH nuts.

WorraLiberty Sat 13-Jul-13 10:25:46

I agree, just phone her.

It's going to be a very hot day today...not the sort of day you want to be locked out of your house with no money.

littlewhitebag Sat 13-Jul-13 10:26:01

She has actually text back now to say they have no plans and we can go out and collect her when we are done. She is with a family i know well so all is fine.

She seems largely unconcerned about her lack of key or money. I may have to discuss that with her later.

mrsjay Sat 13-Jul-13 10:30:29

IME 15yr olds dont/cant think in the long term it is annoying sometimes

littlewhitebag Sat 13-Jul-13 10:31:56

mrsjay you are so right. She is a fab girl but she can't think beyond the next 5 minutes!

mrsjay Sat 13-Jul-13 10:32:51

Mine is the same littlewhitebag

I once deliberately let my DD sit on the doorstep for an hour on the nth time she forgot her doorkey. She remembers it much more regularly now!

3littlefrogs Sat 13-Jul-13 10:38:01

She sounds a typical 15 yr old. They seem to revert to toddlerhood, thinking that you just know everything in their heads by some sort of osmosis.

Mia4 Sat 13-Jul-13 10:48:59

Phone her but YANBU to go out at all, she has to learn. You could always leave a key with the neighbour for when she calls you in a panic.

Marlinspike Sat 13-Jul-13 10:54:42

I am with you OP - my DD (16) is hopeless at communicating! I know she will be round and about with her friends, and on numerous occasions I have asked her for just a simple text - I am at X with Y &Z, and I will be home at... How hard can that be?

I think I would leave the key somewhere, but possibly ignore her texts/ calls asking where it was for an hour or so....[evil Mum emoticon]

Dontwanttobeyourmonkeywrench Sat 13-Jul-13 11:05:49

This is my DS too. Keep telling him to lift his mobile in case I need to let him know that plans have changed. It's currently sitting on his desk out of charge hmm

Frequently leaves without keys/mobile/wallet(usually has bus fare in pocket), can't get the hang of reversing the charge (and says he'd feel bad asking his granny to pay for the call because he only remembers her landline and our landline), but always somehow manages to land on his feet. Thankfully MIL and DSD1 live close by so if he ever gets locked out he justs heads to their houses to wait.

He's turning 16 and due to fly to my DM by himself. I don't think I'll relax until she lets me know that they've met him at the airport grin

mrsjay Sat 13-Jul-13 11:12:04

It is the BUT MY PHONE WAS ON SILENT that drives me up the wall it really does

frogspoon Sat 13-Jul-13 11:40:14

Leave a key with a neighbour, and text her telling her which neighbour has the key.

sydlexic Sat 13-Jul-13 12:27:13

I have definitely been tempted. DD gets up goes out. I later go shopping, then I get a phone call, can't get in the house. Drove me crazy.She has left home now, did it a few times but soon learned.

valiumredhead Sat 13-Jul-13 13:28:35

What frog said.

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