I am so stupid.

(42 Posts)
McNewPants2013 Sat 13-Jul-13 01:56:30

i am swimming in debt, but why do i feel the need to spend all the time.

manage to clear £300 on littlewood and just order a pool and trampoline and a swing for my kids, i know i cant afford it so why did i just do it.

can i cancel or have i fucked up again.

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 02:07:56

Definitely cancel, no fuck up because you've realised in time.

Knowing what 'wrong' looks/feels like is half the battle.

Are you doing it because it makes you feel good to see your DC enjoying something you've given them?

New stuff can give you a temporary boost, just like choc/coffee/alcohol/drugs/lust etc etc etc. But it's no substitute for not having that millstone round your neck.

Have you ever talked to anyone with credentials about it?

Ive spent 3009 pounds recently but I cant stop. I am clinically stupid though. I have a lovely new satchel, a tattoo and custom converse. Im a twat.

McNewPants2013 Sat 13-Jul-13 02:28:09

i have 24 months before i debt free and i want to feel good seeing my DC enjoing something i have given them.

I am counting it down, i have worked so hard over the last year and i bought thses things on an impluse.

back story is that 3 years ago i was £15,000 in debt, but in this time manage to get it down to £4,000.

why i am so stupid to realise that my debts need to be paid 1st

I was debt free last year and I spend all my time worrying now. We are stupid together

Are you staying up worrying? I very sympathise x

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 02:37:37

You're hardly stupid after paying off £11,000!

That takes balls of steel.

Just think of it as slipping off the wagon, jump back on and carry on as you were.

No damage done.

Can you get a cheaper paddling pool as a compromise? They're only about £4-7.

Your DC will be happier with you being happy than they would with being given 'things'.

McNewPants2013 Sat 13-Jul-13 02:43:44

I could, i know i can.

to all those who may read this dont ever ever ever and ever get sucked into credit card, car finace and loans. they are not worth it.

i feel my DC have missed out on so many things and i want to treat them

omg i didn't realise i repaied £11,000 how did that happen.

i do feel guilty of spending money when i have to pay these bills, but i really want my DC to be happy.......it wasnt them who fucked up it was me and they have the suffer

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 02:50:52

It's good to feel a bit of guilt at spending the cash, that's what stops you overspending, but you've got to control it so you can use it to regulate your spends without making you feel shit all the time.

£11k is fucking impressive, you have no reason to beat yourself up at all!

One of those things from Grattan would be quite big, but why the overkill with all three do you think?

(now you've cleared the Grattan, why not take the opportunity to shut the account? The 40% mark up, or whatever it is they whack on, isn't good. It's too tempting to order on the tick)

cozietoesie Sat 13-Jul-13 02:55:34

As AgentZigzag said - just accept it as a slip. Shake your head and keep on going for a bit longer. (And cancel the items as soon as you can.)

And your DC won't suffer. They'll have a much more relaxed Mum who will be more fun to be with.

It'll be fine.

smile

McNewPants2013 Sat 13-Jul-13 02:58:04

i cant cancel until i cleared the account, i have drop the credit limit from a whopping £3,00 to £400.

i cant believe i have cleared £11,000 becaue i am so focused on reaching £00000000

cozietoesie Sat 13-Jul-13 03:01:50

It's a great achievement.

What do you mean you can't cancel ? If these were internet purchases you made today you should have a legal right to cancel ?

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 03:03:12

I think OP means she can't cancel the account until she's cleared the balance cozie?

cozietoesie Sat 13-Jul-13 03:05:14

Ah right - but hopefully she can still cancel the items she just bought.

McNewPants2013 Sat 13-Jul-13 03:05:29

i mean cancel the acount, trust me i will cancel and once this account displays £0 then i will cancel the account like i have done with all the other accounts.

McNewPants2013 Sat 13-Jul-13 03:06:35

if i cant then i it down to my own stupidity

cozietoesie Sat 13-Jul-13 03:10:13

NcNewPants2013

The last thing you are is stupid. Managing to clear £11,000 of debt? Hooey Zooey!

You're on the home straight now - today's purchases are just a blip and you can recover from that no problem.

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 03:22:20

grin at Hooey Zooey.

Jeepers creepers.

Buzzardbird Sat 13-Jul-13 06:35:26

Well done for clearing so much debt quickly. If you want to treat your kids then look at freecycle or fb selling pages. People give this stuff away when their children have out-grown them. Catalogue stuff is sooo expensive. I saw a paddling pool in the pound shop yesterday...guess how much?
you are doing so well, get back on that wagon. Your dcs are better off with no trampoline and a happy mum. thanks

Montybojangles Sat 13-Jul-13 06:49:33

Well done on clearing so much debt so far, you will get there.

Your kids don't need expensive things to enjoy themselves and have a fulfilling childhood. We didn't have a slide, swing, trampoline or pool when I was a child and I had a fantastic childhood.

Keep going. Nearly there.

pinksomething Sat 13-Jul-13 06:57:24

Just need to add my hooey zooey/jeepers creepers/WOW at how well you are doing!!! stick at it. I am in awe smile

siezethenight Sat 13-Jul-13 07:36:08

Stupid? After clearing off 11 grand of debt? I don't think so grin Huge well done. Not just for clearing it but for being able to recognise you were in a hole and come up with a way to get out.
What sort of garden do you have? Do you know that ad on telly for the wildlife and attracting them into garden? Get your kids to go out and build dens for birds, worms and a small pond like thing in a bucket dug into ground for tadpoles and so forth. Its great fun. It makes me smile when this ad comes on as my lot always did this when little - bloody ant farms, the lot. I spent most of their childhood going, 'Ewww, what is that!?'
Ds used to bring the ant farm indoors confused.
They kind of like getting grubby, its more or less free fun as you can get a bucket in a pound shop and paint and you can look in parks for bits of bark off trees and dry them out and paint signs on them. Also pick up stones from beaches or parks and paint them. We had a lovely little circle in our garden one year of painted stones. Ds and dd dug the earth for a worm farm in the middle of it. You can keep them busy for literally HOURS with this sort of stuff while you deck chair it in the garden!

catgirl1976 Sat 13-Jul-13 07:38:14

Paying off £11k off debt in bloody awesome. I don't know may people with the discipline and grit to do that.

You're not stupid, you're human. You realised ordering the stuff was a mistake so you are less stupid than many of us.

Cancel the stuff and get to Home Bargains - you can probably get a great paddling pool in there for a tenner that your DCs will love.

Whothefuckfarted Sat 13-Jul-13 08:52:37

Cut up cards, cancel credit with catalogs. Try cab advice.

loubielou31 Sat 13-Jul-13 09:01:40

Distance selling (ie catalogues and internet) means you can cancel any purchase or return the goods for any reason up to seven day after making it.
www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/consumer-rights-refunds-exchange
Scroll down to the internet bit.
Cancel the order. You will be debt free.

3littlefrogs Sat 13-Jul-13 09:05:05

When my dc were little even their clothes came from charity shops/second hand. They really didn't care.

They didn't have a swing or a trampoline - I got a cheap paddling pool from argos.

Shylepite Sat 13-Jul-13 09:09:49

This is a minor blip which you can easily rectify - just cancel the things you've just ordered. Poundland has some cheap water pistols and garden toys in atm which your dc will get lots of fun out of. You've done amazingly well so far, keep it up and imagine how good you will feel when its all paid off grin

topsyandturvy Sat 13-Jul-13 09:11:05

Cancel all but one item then get straight back on the wagon

You have bought the stuff because it makes you fell better about how your kids have lived whilst you have been paying off your debts, nothing wrong with that, but imagine how much better you will feel when you have paid it all off and can afford to treat them every month

noisytoys Sat 13-Jul-13 09:37:57

You have paid off £11k of debt!! That's incredible!! Cancel this order, keep going the way you're going and you'll be debt free in no time smile

raisah Sat 13-Jul-13 11:19:32

Well done that's a fantastic achievement. Also, reduce the credit limit from £400 to £200 so you are not tempted further.

Do you have a toy library near you? They are good to borrow toys from cheaply, there is one near me and you can borrow outdoor toys cheaply. Nearly new sales are good as well, your kids dont have to go without you just have to be a bit inventive. Can you arrange a toy swap with friends ir have a look at freecycle? My BIL works near Kensington & picks up amazing things in skips outside the big posh houses. Charity shops in affluent areas are brilliant for picking up bargains.

WafflyVersatile Sat 13-Jul-13 11:40:56

Well done on paying back £11k.

Your children will manage to be happy without 3 massive and expensive garden toys.

Your relationship with money is probably a bit more complicated than 'I spend money I don't have because I'm stupid'. It is probably tied up with all sorts of emotional stuff.

Think of all the lovely things you will be able spend the money you've had to spend on debt repayments when you're done. Save some too though!

Littlewoods do free returns, so send the stuff back. Don't even open the boxes.

McNewPants2013 Sun 14-Jul-13 21:59:05

I managed to cancel and i then asked to drop my credit limit to what I owe.

I had a far bit of PPI back and after i made my home decent i put the rest on debts.

McNewPants2013 Sun 14-Jul-13 22:09:05

the way i am doing it any spare money is going onto debt, i have not had a take aways ( i added it up that our weekly take aways added up to £80) for such a long time only use the car for work and shopping With shopping every thing is meal planned and i now longer use the canteen in work because that was costing £15 a week and looking in other areas of saving money.

WafflyVersatile Sun 14-Jul-13 22:11:03

See, you are clever not stupid. smile

Shylepite Sun 14-Jul-13 22:13:21

^ what waffly said smile

maddening Sun 14-Jul-13 22:14:00

check out freestyle and ebay for deals on swings etc reckon you could get the lot for under £50 - won't be snazzy and new but your going to shove them in the garden and let the kids loose on them !

McNewPants2013 Sun 14-Jul-13 22:19:05

that £80 a month not a week.

i don't care so much now, they don't need it.

WafflyVersatile Sun 14-Jul-13 22:32:33

stress free mums are better than trampolines.

WafflyVersatile Sun 14-Jul-13 22:32:59

if only just. hmm

MummyMastodon Sun 14-Jul-13 22:40:56

Hmm.

Well, look at it this way, you've invested in some great garden equipment which will give the kids some lovely days in the garden over the holidays, meaning you can spend less on visits /trips out / playbarns / cinema.

And, say they use the stuff for 5 years, that's £60 a year, right? Sound any better?

Cut yourself some slack, it seems like you have matters in hand.

McNewPants2013 Sun 14-Jul-13 22:48:04

Mummy my debts got so bad i nearly ended up in court for non payment of TV licence and non payment of council tax.

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