to feel angry and upset at ebay sale gone wrong

(41 Posts)
lakia Sat 13-Jul-13 01:14:13

Its partly my own fault I sent an expensive item took my chances.
Buyer claimed he hadnt recieved it obivously I am stuffed no tracking details to show I was really stupid.
The buyer turned out to be a business recieving a few items like mine.
I suspect although cant prove that he may have had it mixed up amongst other items and overlooked it.
Paypal have refunded him case closed and now they will debit my account for the full amount.
Buyer has now left negative feedback saying that I am a scammer cheat etc.
Its really unfair and I am so upset to the point that I dont want to do ebay any longer and just close the account.

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 01:29:10

I'd love to say YABU, but you're not unfortunately.

I did it for years and loved it, but it's too weighted against the small time seller now.

It's not just the exorbitant fees, it's the unfairness of feedback system now. I never understood why they changed it.

I had three or four accounts to fall back on if anyone did give me negative, which was thankfully rare in those days before they stopped sellers being able to give them back.

You have to be able to distance yourself from it a bit, but if it's making you angry/upset when you're not on it, maybe give yourself a set time and make a decision over whether to kick it when a bit of time has passed?

It's not worth getting stressed over, for sure.

(and when I'm a buyer, I look at the person who's given the negatives own feedback. (Can't you write what you want on their feedback in capitals so it stands out?) I don't just presume the seller's shit because I know buyers can be awful)

lakia Sat 13-Jul-13 01:43:42

thanks zigzag

I was wondering about why sellers cannot leave feeedback to put forward their case this seems so unfair it never used to be like this.
Paypal are expecting to take this money out my account on the 18th this month and I dont have it as I used the money off this sale to pay a debt.
I really dont know what I am meant to do.

Palepinkflowerinsummer Sat 13-Jul-13 01:48:29

That is awful for you. Didn't you have a receipt for when you sent it?

justanuthermanicmumsday Sat 13-Jul-13 01:58:58

Why don't you email ebay see what they say? It does seem very unfair skewered for he benefit of buyers not sellers.

Did you have a returns policy or if item is lost contact within x time

You can reply as a seller to feedback. I often read feedback, and replies from sellers. You can often tell who is telling the truth. It wouldn't deter me from buying as long as the negative comments were not too many in number

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 01:59:10

Why have they taken his word over yours? Ebay's probably making it look more cut and dried than it actually is.

Are you sure you're at the end of the appeal process?

Try googling it and see what other sellers have come up with, there might be tricks of the trade Ebay doesn't advertise much.

If the funds aren't in your paypal they'll just invoice you for it and it'll stay on your account until it's paid.

I would be tempted to deal with what cash they wanted at another time, ditch that account and start another. Even though I'm totally trustworthy, it can become a bit of a game where you have to twist what you're saying sometimes. Not to the point of being dishonest, but so you're not taken for a fuckwit (by ebay or the buyer).

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 02:02:25

If you have a proof of postage, just get onto royal mail to get it back.

MidniteScribbler Sat 13-Jul-13 02:13:48

If you bought an item and it never arrived, and the seller had no proof that it was posted, I bet you'd be demanding a refund as well.

lakia Sat 13-Jul-13 02:23:54

I have proof of posting but nothing to say it was actually delivered

frutilla Sat 13-Jul-13 02:30:53

How awful for you. I suppose you don't have any proof of postage? I bought a couple of used braille machines and had them sent to my mum's house in London, intending to bring them to Argentina where I live as people can't afford new ones here. Anyway, my mum thought both arrived but only one had (the other box turned out to be full of paper, she hadn't bothered to open it). By the time I found out the 45 days had expired and there was nothing I could do, ebay wouldn't deal with it. The seller never answered my many email requests for tracking, they had clearly just scammed me, I wasted 60 quid. Ebay is very flawed when it comes to this kind of thing, they will not look into such cases.

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 02:31:29

Proof of postage is good, although most options only go up to £20 compensation.

But they could have a look for it, the buyer might be telling the truth, or it could turn up weeks later.

Anything's possible with royal mail (although they've been pretty good more often than not in my experience), How big is the item? Could the postie have shoved it round the back of their house? They don't like to wait these days.

For someone who's saying you should distance yourself, I'm getting too worked up on your behalf grin

Palepinkflowerinsummer Sat 13-Jul-13 02:34:55

You see I have been on the other side of this - I really sympathise, but I bought some baby clothes from a lady and they just didn't turn up. I ended up leaving negative feedback and she was very unhappy but really, it was six weeks later and my DD had practically grown out of them!

lakia Sat 13-Jul-13 03:00:11

I can understand how it must seem to a buyer when their item doesnt turn up.
But honestly this person has called me a fraud and a scammer there is simply no need for that its way out of order.

lakia Sat 13-Jul-13 03:02:44

You see my item is worth way more than a paltry £20 I may as well let it go if thats all I will get.
If they were able to come back and say yes this was delivered that would be worth it

lakia Sat 13-Jul-13 03:05:23

zigzag the item is about as big as a large thick book.
The buyer had said that he has recieved a few of these items and they had invoices with them.
I hadnt included an invoice with mine.

lakia Sat 13-Jul-13 03:07:17

I feel really stupid I wshall send anything of value tracked in future.
I have always had trustworthy buyers until now.
Of course the buyer could be telling the truth but their feedback has really got my back up

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 03:12:58

Trying to think what it is now. Gold bar? Case with diamond necklace in? grin

Write it off as lost, then do your best to get it refunded. See any time you put in to recouping the cost as part of your work.

But don't take it personally. You know you're not a scammer, and the buyer doesn't know you, you're just an internet random to them, I'm sure they're totally normal in RL and could still come back to you saying it's arrived (which I've had happen and done myself).

freerangechickens Sat 13-Jul-13 03:13:09

Welcome to how it has been in America for a long time (heavily weighted against the seller). E-bay turned against the sellers here 1st, then to you, and in Asia the sellers still have a lot of power. I used to sell bits of stuff here and there and turn a small profit as a SAHM, but the rules changed years ago, and fees went up, and even though I had 100% positive feedback, I saw the writing on the wall, that with the increased fees, and need to send everything with proof of delivery, I wouldn't be making enough to make it worth my time, and got out. YADNBU to feel this way. I'm sorry this happened to you, and even though I don't buy off of there out of principle anymore, I also was one that checked out people who left negative feedback before deciding not to buy from a seller when I did buy from there.

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Jul-13 03:19:11

I don't buy off it either freerange, much prefer Amazon now, even though they're browsing options are totally pants.

MidniteScribbler Sat 13-Jul-13 03:37:48

The buyer doesn't know that you are a fine upstanding person. They ordered something, it hasn't arrived. There is no receipted dlivery, and the seller is arguing against refunding them. Of course they assume it was a scam.

eccentrica Sat 13-Jul-13 08:15:28

YABU to have sent an item worth 'way more than £20' without using recorded or special delivery.

I would be suspicious too.

who do you think should be out of pocket if not you?

TimeofChange Sat 13-Jul-13 08:23:20

You have to presume that everyone is dishonest and send everything 'signed for' and factor that into the delivery costs.

The poor posties get the blame for other peoples' dishonesty.

I know someone who used to buy from a catalogue and if the goods were delivered when she was out and no signature, she always said that she hadn't received them and ended up with two lots of goods.
She is a bitch!

MorrisZapp Sat 13-Jul-13 08:28:48

Don't worry about one negative feedback. It won't affect your sales. When I buy on eBay, I only look at the sellers detailed feedback if its under ten or so.

Whothefuckfarted Sat 13-Jul-13 08:32:50

YANBU, always send recorded signed for in future.

SuperiorCat Sat 13-Jul-13 08:57:14

You could try posting in the eBay section of MN. Lots of very experienced ebayers some

Mia4 Sat 13-Jul-13 09:18:31

YANBU to be upset but likewise they aren't BU to think it's a scam, you always must take steps to protect yourself by using tracking, receipted delivery etc. It's just a shame you've been stung by such an expensive item.

As a buyer and seller, I've had people try to claim things aren't at described (which is why i take a vid clip the day i send it showing the item from all angles- I've never been asked to produce it the sellers who've tried to be shit have backed off the moment I've responded to say i have it) and I've had things not arrive and people have claimed they've sent, yet not been able to produce anything to say they have. I'd like to give those sellers the benefit of the doubt, I wouldn't berate them over email unless they got arsey with me first or were being unprofessional, but I'd make a note not to buy from again if they were getting funny. I have had one genuinely not turn up and the seller claimed via RM, the item hadn't been delivered or signed for, RM hadn't delivered. The seller was worried I'd leave negative feedback, but I had no reason too, it wasn't her fault it was RM screw up and we had proof, so I left her positive saying shed been professional given what had happened. Had she told me she had sent but had no tracking and then insinuated that perhaps I hadn't realised I'd received, I wouldn't have been impressed and would have thought unprofessional poss scammer.

The negative feedback won't affect much at all and you can 'add an answer to it to explain which people will also see. You know a scammer when loads of their fb is negative, I had one which 100% when i brought but 2 months later it was at 53% due to negative fb-turned out the seller had only sold a bit to get the 100% and then tried scamming.

If you just have one esp with a note from yourself underneath then it won't put people off. Def raise with RM though, it's a shame it's an expensive item.

whois Sat 13-Jul-13 09:25:14

Sorry you've had a bad transaction, BUT you should never ever post anything for an eBay sale that isn't a tracked delivery. That's was a bit silly but I bet you know that now!

JackyDanny Sat 13-Jul-13 09:32:00

Could you message the buyer saying something like, you are sorry the didn't receive the item yet, but you have def posted it, describe the packaging, and as they have had a refund, to please think about revising feedback? That your mistake here was to post without tracking?
You can respond to their negative with something like that.

Sorry you feel so down.

RoooneyMara Sat 13-Jul-13 09:48:57

1. Check with THEIR sorting office (I mean find out the number nad ring them up to check it isn't still there)

2. RING royal mail and ask them to have a look for it on their system (says different things than the one you get online)

3. Reply to his feedback, in calm, honest words saying 'I am really sorry your item was lost. I have proof of postage but did not send recorded. Buyer refunded'

People will look at your fb and his and they will make their own minds up.

I know how you feel, totally, ebay is very weighted these days in favour of the buyer and it's unfair.

helenthemadex Sat 13-Jul-13 10:04:20

I can understand why you are upset, but ebay rules do state that you have to send stuff by trackable method, if you dont you leave your self open to fraud, it is really upsetting.

I would go to the post office and fill in a form to get some of your money back it may only be £20 but its something

you may also have a case for getting your feedback removed, it supposed to be factual not accusatory or name calling so I would get in touch with ebay and ask them to remove it as it, they may not do it but its worth a try and you are more likely to succeed if you have good feedback already, you have to go to customer support and contact ebay, you can phone them or do live chat I can't post a link you have to sign into your account

sarahtigh Sat 13-Jul-13 10:07:33

you know you are not a scammer but the buyer may have had items not arrive before, and it is perfectly possible that the item has actually not arrived so it would not be reasonable to expect a buyer to just accept that you had posted it

i totally understand sending low value items out not signed for I do so as a business but only for things under £20 as you then claim from royal mail with your proof of posting

from buyers point of view they bought valuable item it did not arrive they ask you for tracking you do not have tracking only proof of postage they wait and then ask for refund, as you do not give refund they open case with ebay, you have no proof of delivery so case will always be found in buyers favour, ebay can not really find in sellers favour when there is no tracking and no evidence of delivery.

if you had refunded earlier you probably would not have not the negative, your reluctance to refund may have made it look like a scam

reply politely to feedback along lines of " sorry item did not arrive, proof of posting offered, glad you now have your refund" then add buyer to your blocked buyers list

you can ask buyer to revise feedback but they do not have to

DoJo Sat 13-Jul-13 10:51:23

I don't understand why you wouldn't use a racked service when you can charge the buyer for it anyway? Or is it that you charged them for special delivery and then posted it normally and that's why they have accused you of being a scammer?

DoJo Sat 13-Jul-13 10:52:19

*tracked service

teetering13 Sat 13-Jul-13 11:05:23

I have a website and 3 parcels have gone missing in 4 years .. I sold on ebay for less than 6 months and had 4 go missing ...

You can't sell on ebay without protecting yourself against the scammer buyers ... tbh I think it's just common knowledge how easy it is to scam a seller that even the ones that haven't stole in their life will still go for it on ebay angry

I packed it in ... you have thieves both ends robbing you, the buyers and ebay itself sad

ARealDame Sat 13-Jul-13 12:46:01

I had a similar experience, and it is strange how emotional it can all get -I think we all have to learn from experience, unfortunately!.

In the end I just think you just have to accept these "blips" in ebay. Buyers have a right to give poor feedback, even if it is v. upsetting and even sometimes unfair.

If you are a good Seller generally, it is will all even out in the end. Few people can keep up 100% positive feedback, its just unrealistic. Think of all the positive sales and positive feedback.

(But perhaps it is true, it is weighted to big sellers now).

Hope you're feeling better about it now x

cheerfulweather Sat 13-Jul-13 12:54:11

Can ebay alter or remove the feedback? They can't be allowed to call you a scammer or a cheat, surely?

Ebay is too heavily weighted in favour of the buyer. I had four of five non-paying bidders out of 20 recently, had to open a case before I could relist and have my fees credited back, can't leave negative feedback to warn other sellers either!

TidyDancer Sat 13-Jul-13 13:20:04

eBay are utter cunts for this. They always always side with the buyer and the feedback system is massively unfair since they now refuse to allow the seller to leave negative feedback.

I got stung by a skanky bitch who claimed she didn't receive some boots she bought from me. She wasn't too bright however, and in the emails that we batted back and forth, she mentioned something about the boots that hadn't been in the original listing so I knew she'd received them but still eBay refused to look any further into it they refunded the thieving bitch and took money from me to cover it.

I do not sell on eBay unless I can help it.

TidyDancer Sat 13-Jul-13 13:20:13

Can't help it, I meant!

lakia Sun 14-Jul-13 18:20:37

Okay thank you for all your replies.
I offered free postage to attract the buyers so tried to keep my costs down I was also offering the item at a good affordable price.
I have been experiencing some money problems of late and needed the money badly now I am in an even worse mess as I dodn,t have the money that Ebay saying they are going to takeon the 18th this month its simply not going to be there in my account I really dont know what to do.

lakia Sun 14-Jul-13 18:21:56

I have sent lots of items before with no problem I took the chance and its backfired.

BreadNameBread Sun 14-Jul-13 18:33:24

If you add up all the times that you have saved yourself money by not sending items by tracked mail you may find it is more than the amount that you have lost on this transaction. IYSWIM This doesn't help with this situation but it may make you feel better.

<<hopeful>>

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