OH and his holiday with his brother

(63 Posts)
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Fri 12-Jul-13 19:40:11

OH has just announced that he is going away with his twat of a brother in August for a week.

Last time he went away with his brother he ended up being arrested on the first night, 'falling'' in the sea at night & cheating on me. It all happened because of his brother.

Am I being unreasonable to put my foot down and tell him not to go? They are going back to the same place

His brother made him cheat on you?

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Fri 12-Jul-13 19:43:04

His brother spiked his drink, and then locked him in a room with some girl.

DeepRedBetty Fri 12-Jul-13 19:44:53

You can ask him to think hard before he goes. But his brother can't make him be a complete twunt when he drinks too much.

Fragglewump Fri 12-Jul-13 19:45:01

Did his brother pump up his cock and slip in inside her?? Not sure you're fuming at the right person!?!

pictish Fri 12-Jul-13 19:45:16

His brother spiked his drink and locked him in a rim with some girl??

I have heard some shite in my life but as excuses go, that's a doozy!

You keep right on blaming his brother OP. Good luck with that.

As regards the holiday - yanbu. He's a cheat and a thug.

LoveWine Fri 12-Jul-13 19:45:41

Interesting...And did he force him to have sex with her??

pictish Fri 12-Jul-13 19:45:45

*room

Lj8893 Fri 12-Jul-13 19:46:31

I'm sorry but I think that sounds like a big excuse for cheating on you, and you have fell for it big time.

DeepRedBetty Fri 12-Jul-13 19:46:53

x posted.

But, if he genuinely regrets that whole incident he wouldn't be placing himself at risk of one of his brother's funny ha ha little pranks again would he?

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Fri 12-Jul-13 19:48:06

Having seen oh brother spike his friend & lock them in a room with a girl, I can pretty much say that's probably what happened

WilsonFrickett Fri 12-Jul-13 19:49:31

IF that's what happened then of course he wouldn't want to go away with his brother again, would he?

Sorry OP but nah. Either he's feeding you a crock of shit, or he's telling the truth but isn't too bothered about the same sort of thing happening again.

What did he spoke him with speed and a double dose of Viagra??

You are being played young lady.

Most drugs render you impotent that are used for spiking.

phantomnamechanger Fri 12-Jul-13 19:50:52

how could he, if he respects you and your sexual & emotional health, even consider going away with that idiot brother who thinks that sort of thing is a laugh. if the story is true of course.

even if he had learned a lesson and just wanted some time with his brother to bond, he must know how insecure and worried you would be feeling while he was away and for that reason alone should not even suggest going

ENormaSnob Fri 12-Jul-13 19:50:53

Get some self respect and ditch the fucker.

Stop kidding yourself that this is all the brothers fault.

Lj8893 Fri 12-Jul-13 19:50:56

You say probably what happened. So you don't actually know for sure?

I'm sorry but I think they both sound like twats and them going on a holiday together is the very least of your worries

FairyThunderthighs Fri 12-Jul-13 19:51:52

So if you were pissed and locked in room you'd think "oh well I'm going to HAVE to have sex with him"?! The brother sounds like a dickhead yes, but your OH isn't totally blameless. Wouldn't trust either of them as far as I could throw them.

pictish Fri 12-Jul-13 19:52:12

Even so....if your OH knows you know about that, it gives him a perfect get out clause doesn't it? It wasn't me, honest...it was bruv.
Spiking someone and locking them in a room with a member of the opposite sex does not automatically equal unavoidable sex!!

Stop lapping it up OP.

FairyThunderthighs Fri 12-Jul-13 19:52:36

Sorry, should have said "pissed and locked in a room with a bloke who wasn't your OH"

Lj8893 Fri 12-Jul-13 19:54:38

So was the girl also spiked? Because I can't imagine any sane unspiked girl having sex with some off their face spiked drugged up bloke?

ENormaSnob Fri 12-Jul-13 19:55:11

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

pictish Fri 12-Jul-13 19:55:12

Good point LJ

pictish Fri 12-Jul-13 19:56:03

Yes...did the big bad brother spike both of them? Your OH and the girl?

MissStrawberry Fri 12-Jul-13 19:56:08

You have been played well and truly.

pictish Fri 12-Jul-13 19:56:50

And not even very well.

BegoniaBampot Fri 12-Jul-13 19:57:39

Is that your normal night out? Watching friends or family spike people's drinks and lock them in rooms with people? Whatever floats your boat, I'm obviously too reserved and prudish for you lot.

Ashoething Fri 12-Jul-13 20:00:55

Really?

pictish Fri 12-Jul-13 20:02:55

It all happened because of his brother.

No. It all happened because your OH is a drunken, cheating, violent arsehole. Wake up.

WinningBread Fri 12-Jul-13 20:03:18

Hilarious! I have never heard such twaddle.

You can't think much of yourself if you'd rather stay with him than scratch the surface to find the truth of what happened and get rid.

Honestly? You believe he was forced to cheat on you? Really?

Like ENorma said - have some self respect.

You are worth more than that.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Fri 12-Jul-13 20:06:12

He is a waste of space for several reasons: the holiday on his own (why do so many people's partners on MN seem to just swan off like this?), the thoroughly nasty brother who seems to think women are some kind of toy to be used in playing pranks, and his own complete lack of integrity in cheating on you and then telling such ridiculous lies about it, as if he has no control over his own dick. Life will improve dramatically when you tell him to go on his bleeding holiday and not to bother ever coming back.

BrokenBanana Fri 12-Jul-13 20:11:12

Come on now, don't be horrible to the OP.

I do think though that your DP sounds horrible, even just from those few sentences. I'm sure you can do a lot better than that.

Squitten Fri 12-Jul-13 20:13:43

I would suggest that, even if you believe that total crock of horse manure he told you, a man who would willingly put himself at risk of that happening again obviously didn't dislike it all that much.

I think you've been had there OP

pictish Fri 12-Jul-13 20:14:49

I don't think anyone actually wants to be horrible...but the OP being that gullible kinda makes me want to give her a good shake. Sorry.

DeepRedBetty Fri 12-Jul-13 20:25:34

Malibu I do think you're going to have to have a big long think about OH and whether it's really going to work out longterm. Sorry.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Fri 12-Jul-13 20:33:08

I don't mean to be horrible, honestly. I do think that if the OP is in any doubt about him being a rotten partner, the replies here might at least make her feel she is not BU.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Fri 12-Jul-13 20:34:43

Realistically, you can't 'put your foot down and tell him not to go'.

You can leave him though, which is what I would do, as he (and his brother) sound like a pair of utter buffoons.

Why are you with this man?

I am also surprised that you have so willingly swallowed what is quite clearly a load of old codswallop.

What kind of man locks a woman in a room with a drugged man? That sounds horrifically scary to me, but maybe I just move in different circles. hmm

Ezio Fri 12-Jul-13 20:41:07

Did he pass out and land inside of her, seriously that is the dumbest excuse ever.

And almost a little rapey if the brother drugged her aswell and locked them in a room.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 12-Jul-13 20:43:54

I find it so sad that you think so little of yourself you are willing to pretend you believe this rubbish OP.

you know no-one can be forced to cheat. he could be locked in a room with 100 naked women and if he didn't want to put his penis in any of them he wouldn't.

your partner chose to cheat on you. you know this.

unless you think he was raped?

Oh you poor thing flowers

Let's be honest, if your DB has drugged you and locked you up. Why on earth would you go away with him again?!

EllaFitzgerald Fri 12-Jul-13 20:49:13

I think he's given you a load of old flannel about why he was 'tricked' into cheating on you. However, even if there was a drug that took away his free will whilst leaving him with the ability to maintain an erection, why on earth would your OH want to risk the same thing happening again this year?

You can't tell someone what they can or can't do. He's your partner, not your possession. You can, however, decide what you're prepared to accept within your relationship and walk away if it's not right for you.

I think he knows he's safe to go away and do whatever he wants because his brother will take the blame and you'll believe that.

WhatWouldBeyonceDo Fri 12-Jul-13 20:51:46

Kick him into touch.

You have been well and truly played, I can't quite even believe that you believed him confused

You can do better, he's laughing at you, so is his drink spiking brother hmm

gordyslovesheep Fri 12-Jul-13 20:51:51

Oh OP sad he cheated on you - his drink wasn't that spiked as to turn him and the girl into sexbots was it? He was drunk and had sex with someone and blamed his brother...

he feels so bad about it he's going away on another boys only trip with him ...

Cravey Fri 12-Jul-13 21:07:54

I think op your dh has been telling you fibs. Even if his drink was spiked and he was locked in a room nothing could make him have sex unless he wanted to. Stop blaming his brother and lay the blame at his feet where it should be.

Letitsnow9 Fri 12-Jul-13 21:11:22

Did the girl decide that she would like to be looked in a room with a drunk man????

Sparklysilversequins Fri 12-Jul-13 21:12:01

Ok even if it's true <<rolls eyes>>, why on earth would he go away with him again? Or has he got him in a perpetual drugged up state that removes his free will and makes him agree to the unacceptable?

diddl Fri 12-Jul-13 21:25:19

How did you even find out?

But they both sound like twats.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Fri 12-Jul-13 21:27:02

Sorry OP - I guess this thread isn't going at all the way you thought it would.

I bet your OH and his buffoon brother couldn't believe it when you bought their story. It's so far-fetched, but was probably the best they could come up with in the short time frame, that they thought it was worth a try, never really thinking you'd go for it.

The rest of us aren't so willingly ready to have the wool pulled over, as we're not in the slightest bit enamoured with your OH, so it's far easier for us to recognise blantant cheating-related lies when we see them.

The thing is, actually, deep, deep down, you don't really believe it yourself either, do you? You just sort of have to believe it, because the alternative is breaking up with him, which you're obviously not ready to do yet.

AnyFucker Fri 12-Jul-13 21:28:53

Oh dear

Broodymomma Fri 12-Jul-13 21:35:29

Why are some men such utter stupid selfish pigs? I was getting all upset over a holiday without us type of thing on my own thread but reading this has just made me see that some men are just vile pigs who do what they want when they want stuff anyone else as they will always talk their way round it after they have had their fun. You deserve better op and so do I!!!!

AnyFucker Fri 12-Jul-13 23:11:52

Oi, BM, don't let yours off the hook because this one is a slightly worse bastard than yours ....

ariane5 Fri 12-Jul-13 23:19:41

YANBU

But really, save yourself all the worry and just get rid then it doesn't matter what he does.

I speak from experience.

Whothefuckfarted Sat 13-Jul-13 08:57:42

Why are you still with him.

LIZS Sat 13-Jul-13 09:04:11

He sounds a real catch hmm If you say no will he go anyway ? And if so use the time off to rethink your relationship and get checked for STD's

TartinaTiara Sat 13-Jul-13 09:59:18

Do yourself a favour, OP. YABU to prevent him from going; pack his bags, give him a fiver for spending money and tell him not to let the door hit his arse. YWBVVVVVVVU to let him come back.

quoteunquote Sat 13-Jul-13 10:17:26

It comes down to this,

He is making his choices, you now have to make yours, find something you can live with.

If he had any misgiving about his previous behaviour he would never put himself in that position again.

most normal people would never have anything to do with someone who had spiked them with drugs whoever they are,

Anyone who claims that they were forced to cheat, is a liar.

Anyone who believes someone was forced to cheat is either very stupid, or fooling themselves because dealing with truth is unpalatable.

He not acting like someone who adores his wife.

Why do you tolerated being treated like this ?

Skintorama Sat 13-Jul-13 10:22:51

Oh this is a really sad thread.

Life doesn't have to be like this.

Mia4 Sat 13-Jul-13 10:47:09

OP he lied to you, if he really was drugged he'd be furious at his brother, furious for the poor woman and furious for you-he would have nothing to do with his brother again. I get you want to believe his brother made him do these things but the truth is sadder that your OH would blame his brother and you would accept it.

He is going away again because he knows that you believed him and so can come back and hang his head in fake shame telling all about how he was 'spiked' again and forced to commit acts. The truth is though if he genuinely had been the first time, he'd be furious, they'd be no trust and he wouldn't want near his bro.

Also the fact he told you rather then discus it in advance shows how little he truly gives a damn and how confident he is in his own lies.

Please leave him OP, find someone who'll be honest and who won't try to manipulate you. At the very least go to RELATE, print out this thread and talk to them about the whole thing.

whattodoo Sat 13-Jul-13 12:13:53

Tell him that if he goes, you won't be around when he gets back.

Actually, leave him anyway. He is treating you with zero respect.

Why are you still with this bloke?

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Mon 15-Jul-13 12:16:58

Oh OP, you can do so much better than this loser

He is a complete liar, I am afraid.

I know it's probably not what you want to hear and it's obviously not what you exactly asked from the OP but it's the truth.

If he did drug your partner then:
--Your partner wouldn't want anything to do with him again even if he is his brother especially since he could've ruined his relationship with the woman he 'loves'.
--It doesn't account for why the woman would've slept with him. After all, she'd not be too keen sleeping with a guy who is completely out of it.
--Normally when you are spiked the drugs that are used prevent you from getting aroused properly/cause erectile problems so it's very unlikely they would've been able to have sex.
--If it did happen he'd vow never to go on holiday with his brother again.

So, I am pretty sure he's talking like a twat and he has fooled you into believe him, because you care for him so much.

I am sorry, OP.

gotthemoononastick Mon 15-Jul-13 13:07:24

Snapped my string of pearls whilst clutching them and laughing so much at Fragglewumps marvellous turn of phrase!!

AmberLeaf Mon 15-Jul-13 13:16:21

You've been had OP, sorry but this holiday will go the same way as the last, he will cheat on you.

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