to ask you to share the worst t-shirt slogans you have seen...

(145 Posts)
captainBeaky Tue 09-Jul-13 17:18:24

At a very child orientated event recently a grandma was wearing a t-shirt stating "Sex, drugs and Sausage rolls". I found it quite gross to be honest, but also very funny. Do you have others?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Tue 09-Jul-13 17:23:10

DH has one I hate. It says "Things to do with a pussy.."
then has 3 pictures of a cat, with the words "play with it", "stroke it" "shave it".
Now I know it is innuendo but I think it is vile!

I go to a local community centre for coffee mornings, they have stuff for sale too. One of the ladies sorting through a bag of donated clothing suddenly looked shock and then held up a t shirt with the lovely slogan "Im going home for a wank" written across it.

God, I would never wear anything like that but we were all creased up laughing grin I think it was more at the poor shocked woman though! Fancy having the brass neck to donate it too lol!

quesadilla Tue 09-Jul-13 17:43:44

"God, guns and guts made America free, let's keep all three." You see it quite a lot in the American west and south (and general rednecksville.) I thought it was ironic until I realised how many people wear them.

meddie Tue 09-Jul-13 17:52:33

Wasnt there one on amazon recently?
"Keep calm and rape a lot"

utterly vile

JakeBullet Tue 09-Jul-13 17:55:31

A T shirt with "Daddy only wanted a blow job".....on a 2 week old baby!

ShatnersBassoon Tue 09-Jul-13 17:57:37

My pensioner neighbour still regularly wears a "Who the Fuck is Alice?" T-shirt, and he has a "It's not a bald patch, it's a solar panel for a sex machine" one too. He has meerkat garden ornaments and wears triple denim combos grin

Euphemia Tue 09-Jul-13 17:59:31

Triple denim?! Do you live next door to Francis Rossi? confused

gallifrey Tue 09-Jul-13 18:01:38

It's not rude but fairly twattish

"I own a Land Rover, therefore I am" needless to say the t shirt was green.

am what - a tosser?

ShatnersBassoon Tue 09-Jul-13 18:03:56

"Triple denim?! Do you live next door to Francis Rossi? "

The neighbour is a BIG Quo fan. Nice bloke, but a dreadful sense of humour. He likes 'amusing' bumper stickers too, which are hard to explain to my children grin

clam Tue 09-Jul-13 18:04:03

T shirt on a 10 year old girl: "I'm glad I'm not ugly."

Eyesunderarock Tue 09-Jul-13 18:04:33

White T shirt, lovely embroidered and appliqued design of...
'Pick my Cherry'
On a girl around 8 or 9 years old.
She had something shiny in glitter written across the bum of her jeans, but I don't remember what it said.

flybynight Tue 09-Jul-13 18:04:44

My BIL wears an "I'm the daddy" tshirt on every newborn meeting opportunity. Does my mums head in.

RunningInFlipflops Tue 09-Jul-13 18:05:30

DH has one that says 'fatty magnet.' It is not my favourite!

MrsMook Tue 09-Jul-13 18:06:19

"Too posh to push" on a maternity t-shirt. Well that makes all those who've made difficult decisions about births and had emergency CSs feel valued doesn't it.

quesadilla Tue 09-Jul-13 18:07:43

euphemia smile
Even Francis Rossi would draw the line at a "Who the fuck is Alice?" T-shirt, I dare say...

I think that one would have met a nasty, scissors-related accident if my dh had brought it home, Runninginflipflops!

McNewPants2013 Tue 09-Jul-13 18:11:39


cocolepew Tue 09-Jul-13 18:14:47

'Don't mess with the bitch' on a 5 or 6 year old girl.

captainBeaky Tue 09-Jul-13 18:24:21

another that made me smile was - "The Hokey Cokey- What if that is what it's all about?"
Some of these are foul!

captainBeaky Tue 09-Jul-13 18:25:00

and the I'm the daddy one- ewwww.

I saw one saying 'You, Stranger, Are A Twat' on a shop stall. Why would you wear that? hmm

uggerthebugger Tue 09-Jul-13 18:30:48

Seen on bloke in his 40s last year at Torremolinos:

White T-shirt with a picture of Rommel doing a Hitler salute, "Gentlemen Ve Must Secure The Sunbeds By 0700 Hours" written underneath...

shineypeacock Tue 09-Jul-13 18:32:03

A bloke in a pub wearing a tshirt saying fat kids are easier to kidnap, didnt help that his step daughter was a little overweight ( probably due to him feeding her at least 3 pacjs of crisps over a couple of hours)

I saw a little girl of about 4 wearing a top with the slogan "Wannabe porn star". sad I've also seen baby vests with "I'm a 50 Shades baby" on. hmm

Chottie Tue 09-Jul-13 18:38:19

Seen from the bus in a man's clothing shop.

A T shirt with the slogan "I love sluts" inside a large pink heart.....

PeachActiviaMinge Tue 09-Jul-13 18:52:32

DH has - Back to the pub, I have the body of a god shame its a Buddha, If found return to pub and Everybody has the right to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege.

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 09-Jul-13 18:52:47

In Weymouth today, "Up your Beaver".
I'm usually sniggering away at inappropriate stuff but shock

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 09-Jul-13 18:56:48

My brother has a t-shirt with a hedgehog depicted mounting a hair brush with the caption 'time to go to specsavers'.
He was asked not to wear it again in front of the dc.

In Canada, a tshirt saying "save a tree, eat a beaver". Read into that what you will...

My DH had a few awful tshirts which have now been binned......necrophilia:the urge to crack open a cold one.

Cherriesarelovely Tue 09-Jul-13 19:04:00

My friend's dh returned from a trip to Ibiza. She found a t shirt in his bag that said,

"If you can read this you must be going down on me" !

On the first night of an nct group one of the dads was wearing one that said "I don't do mingers"!!!

AngryFeet Tue 09-Jul-13 19:07:51

The worst I saw was "Calm down dear, lets not turn thisrape into a murder" shock

bakingaddict Tue 09-Jul-13 19:09:10

My Dh has a David and Goliath one saying To woman from God

I was going to get him the one with the caption 'picture of my cock' and underneath showing a drawing of a cockerel but thought it might offend a bit

storynanny Tue 09-Jul-13 19:12:43

"Britney swallows" seen on a t shirt when I was with my elderly mother. Mum said " swallows what?

Pennyacrossthehall Tue 09-Jul-13 19:13:44

On an eleven year old girl walking around with her mum at an open evening for a secondary school:

Holiday FCUK

quesadilla Tue 09-Jul-13 19:20:44

The one with the hedgehog made me chuckle actuslly

iHeartTheoJames Tue 09-Jul-13 19:23:12

Pimp in Training

My ex would wear it while out with our daughter

oreocookiez Tue 09-Jul-13 19:25:47

A guy at work has two I hate but are also funny....

One is a picture of a tree with a fat child behind with the slogan 'fat kids are crap at hide and seek

The other a picture of a man pulling a fat child into a Bush looking exhausted with the slogan 'let those fat kids out and keep the skinny ones in, fat kids dont get kidnapped....

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes Tue 09-Jul-13 19:26:01

At my old work the new store detective/security guy turned up for his first shift wearing a t shirt saying amateur gynaecologist at your cervix.


Idislikemymil Tue 09-Jul-13 19:27:33

A 3 year old with a t shirt saying 'future England wag.'

High expectations there.

BellEndTent Tue 09-Jul-13 19:32:43

I once saw someone wearing something that said "Your village called... Their idiot is missing."

Absolute crime against fashion but I found it hilarious. grin [simple things]

pictish Tue 09-Jul-13 19:33:39

Vegans are attention seekers.

pictish Tue 09-Jul-13 19:35:03

Which made me laugh.

'Finish your pussy, there are horny people in Ethiopia'


oreocookiez Tue 09-Jul-13 19:39:08

Suck it or it goes in your eye.

Picture of eye with white goo dripping out - at a parents evening.

Ohwhatacrapmasfear Tue 09-Jul-13 19:42:34

On an 8 or 9 year old: 'If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my mother!'
I literally did a triple take.

amigababy Tue 09-Jul-13 19:43:15

oreo shock

I saw "Shit Mother" - seen on a Mum in Mothercare circa 1996

cowmop Tue 09-Jul-13 19:43:25

Bit tame compared to some of these, but a Mum at school has one that says "less love, more sex." Nice.

pictish Tue 09-Jul-13 19:43:34

oreo shock

Lutrine Tue 09-Jul-13 19:43:46

A baby vest with "I tore mommy a new one" with a picture of barbed wire. Ewww

SixFeetUnder Tue 09-Jul-13 19:43:50

Barbie is a slut, love Sindy

On a 6 year old. I didn't want to ask where she'd got it so I could get one, oh no

chanie44 Tue 09-Jul-13 19:46:28

Saw a 60ish year old man with a tshirt:

'I have a PhD.... Pretty Huge Dick'.

The guy looked like Patrick from eastenders.

I have to admit that I laughed at the hedgehog one blush

The worst I've seen was in glitter on the bum of a skirt worn by a 6 or 7 yo 'Don't Touch!' So many things wrong with that one, I don't know where to start confused

BreasticlesNTesticles Tue 09-Jul-13 19:50:29

Fact Hunt

Lollyheart Tue 09-Jul-13 19:55:11

Sex instructor first lesson free!
On a man that didn't give a shit about his looks, he had long greasy hair and hardly any teeth grin

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 09-Jul-13 19:56:06

I used to live in Romania and saw T shirts for children up to age 8 in a clothes shop there with this on them:

Love is a name
Sex is a game
Forget the name
And play the game.


And some with a picture of cherries on the front and the slogan:

Pluck my cherry.

For the same age group.

NumTumDeDum Tue 09-Jul-13 19:59:39

Exh had some godawful t shirts when I met him. 'Liqour, she'll love it' and another one with really small writing in the centre of his chest saying 'nosey little fucker aren't you'. The absolute worst was a picture of man wearing shorts with massive balls hanging down one leg and his penis the other side with the caption 'Why I don't wear shorts'.

I had a very large rag bag shortly after we moved in together. He never noticed.


CheepyChirp Tue 09-Jul-13 20:00:37

Someone I was in school with had a "Hitler's European Tour" t-shirt complete with a list of dates and countries invaded on the back. sad

When we first got together DP had a tshirt that said "If I throw a stick will you fuck off". I absolutely hated it.

ConferencePear Tue 09-Jul-13 20:06:47

I spend part of my time in France. These t-shirts are a guaranteed way of spotting a Brit in the distance and not just because they're written in English.

FridaKarlov Tue 09-Jul-13 20:07:54

I live in a town popular with stag parties and my office is on the main 'stag drag' where the Wetherspoons and clubs are, so I see loads of awful T shirts.

Worst one was: "It's not going to suck itself." Yep, you're right fella, it ain't.

I have a friend with a T shirt that says 'kiddie fiddler' on it, with a picture of a small child playing the violin. He only wears it on very special occasions.

daisychain01 Tue 09-Jul-13 20:17:59

Sorry but I came to the conclusion long ago (seeing I'm a future porn star was the final straw...) that Any slogan on clothes for children up to the age of 16 are vile, tasteless and unnecessary. They are always inappropriate messages thought up by perves who need locking up. I dont know what possesses parents buying clothes like that when there are lovely age-appropriate clothes these days (Next, M&S do really stylish and affordable stuff)

I expect I will offend people....

Ham69 Tue 09-Jul-13 20:18:51

Baby bibs on a market stall in Australia with the slogan "IVF rules, my dad's a wanker".

ParadiseChick Tue 09-Jul-13 20:30:50

Shamters I think you might live next to my dad

JesusInTheCabbageVan Tue 09-Jul-13 20:38:16

Sex instructor, first lesson free! On a man that didn't give a shit about his looks, he had long greasy hair and hardly any teeth

Was it Brian before he did his Yoni course?

T-shirt on a guy who must have weighed 20+ stone: "I Beat Anorexia".

Flobbadobs Tue 09-Jul-13 20:44:42

Dominic Wood (of Dick and Dom fame) got blasted by OFCOM for wearing a T shirt that said "Morning Wood" on Da Bungalow.

jammiedodger79 Tue 09-Jul-13 20:47:31

"This bitch bites" ... On a volunteer giving out teas on an elderly hospital ward.

Funghoul Tue 09-Jul-13 20:50:30

I has the t shirt that said britney swallows on the back. On the front it said Christina sucks blush I was at uni at the time...
Dp has the sex drugs and sausage rolls shirt.

shazbean Tue 09-Jul-13 20:58:34

Dad dropping his child off at nursery wearing a "nice legs what time do they open?" Underneath silhouette of said legs.
DH asked him if he actually realised what he was wearing..he thought it would improve his chances of pulling. And kept wearing it. As you can imagine he's a babe magnet grin.
Not the worst but so inappropriate.

MaeMobley Tue 09-Jul-13 21:00:04

On my 12 year old best friend "Married men make better lovers".

On some Jewish youth "I survived the Holocaust (and then in v letters) seminar".

Filofax Tue 09-Jul-13 21:19:59

'Every hole's a goal' on a dad at a family fun day and 'last night a BJ saved my life' one of only two blokes at a fitness class with about 30 women. Nice.

WashingLion Tue 09-Jul-13 21:26:33

'I ain't dead yet, Motherfucker'


NumTumDeDum Tue 09-Jul-13 21:26:52

I've just been reminded of his Harley Davidson t-shirt which had printed on the back 'If you can read this the bitch fell off'.

Thatsoneofme Tue 09-Jul-13 21:28:56

My sister years ago snogged a bloke in a club who had a T shirt with ' It ain't gonna suck itself' on it. Still a hilarious story to bring up at family reunions- she will never live it down!

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 09-Jul-13 21:31:55

I used to work with someone who had a T shirt which read "Never mind the screams of passion, whack it up her doggy fashion." He was asked not to wear it to work...

DD1 had one with a picture of the Eiffel Tower on the front and "Italy" next to it. grin

StickEmUp Tue 09-Jul-13 21:50:02

Nice legs what time do they open ...... !

FloweryOwl Tue 09-Jul-13 21:57:50

I saw someone wearing a T-shirt recently with the slogan 'Leah Betts died from taking one pill-Lightweight! '

Couldn't believe how disgusting and vile it was.

Clawdy Tue 09-Jul-13 22:03:21

Years ago a local women's group had t-shirts made for their children with "My Mummy's Got A Lively Mind" printed on....hmm

Belchica Tue 09-Jul-13 22:48:50

DP has one that says 'No I don't have Tourette's, I just think you're a cunt'.

He normally only wears it in bed (lucky me) but recently forgot to change it one saturday morning and popped into our neighbours and stood chatting to her 5 and 7 yo DC for about 10 minutes before their mum walked in and spotted it. He came home wearing it inside out. Haven't seen it since.

ZingWidge Tue 09-Jul-13 23:13:08

"Is there life before death?"

KhaosandKalamity Wed 10-Jul-13 06:45:39

Check out Tshirt hell if you want humor and offense, they even have a section just for infants clothing.

No I don't work for them, don't even buy their clothes but like to check it out for the laughs.

Preciousbane Wed 10-Jul-13 06:59:42

I can't remember the exact wording but in America a couple with lots of dc at an aquarium were wearing anti abortion your all child killers if you do t.shirts.

Also the I like girls who like girls with a picture of two women having sex. Well I don't think lesbians would want you mate, nor any straight woman either.

Eyesunderarock Wed 10-Jul-13 07:09:42

Some of you seem to have partners with a very crude sense of humour. I really wasn't expecting that so many of the 'worst T shirt slogans' would be worn by a member of your own family.
Don't you just look at it and think 'You pathetic wanker'?

SelectAUserName Wed 10-Jul-13 08:03:22

"This T-shirt would look better on your bedroom floor"...on a girl who looked about 12. sad

Whitamakafullo Wed 10-Jul-13 08:15:13

I saw a man wearing a hoodie with 'CUNT' across the front in huge letters.

I'm sure he is, but I don't want my 7 and 8 year old reading that!

curlyclaz13 Wed 10-Jul-13 08:36:48

Child I saw at work age about 4 with a t shirt with 'I love clothes, shoes and men' mum also wolf whistled and called her sexy while trying glasses on.

VitoCorleone Wed 10-Jul-13 08:54:39

DP used to have one saying something along the lines of "yeah yeah i want head not grief"

I binned it

ComposHat Wed 10-Jul-13 09:50:39

Bukkake ruined my carpet

made me snigger mind you.

A rather unkempt 60 year old wearing a "Champion Muff Diver" T-shirt which just about fitted over his beer belly. Ths was some decades ago in a small market town, but the horror of that moment has never left me.

plainjaney Wed 10-Jul-13 10:09:26

DH has one with "Wongs Chinese Laundry" in big letters on the front and underneath it says "2 Wongs can make it white". Does make me laugh though.

He had an FBI shirt once (not the female body inspector one, just a plain FBI shirt) and a woman asked him if he was FBI, "oh yes" replies DH "I'm undercover". She winked and said "oooh I'll leave you alone then". DH was crying when he got back to the car he was laughing that much.

NumTumDeDum Wed 10-Jul-13 10:30:59

Eyesunderarock, yes I did look at him and think wanker. He claimed they were gifts from his teenage brother. Turns out, he is a wanker, hence he is now exh! grin

EarthtoMajorTom Wed 10-Jul-13 11:36:50

'Knee Deep in Clunge' in massive capitals, in men's clothes shop display.

'England v Germany: 2 World Wars, 1 World Cup' on 11yo boy at school (factually inaccurate anyway - thought Scotland, Wales etc also involved in wars?!!!)

'Special Olympics - At the end of the race you'll still be a retard' - on a man picking his kid up from primary school last summer. This last one I found so offensive!!

jessjessjess Wed 10-Jul-13 17:57:27

I saw a guy wearing a T shirt that said: "MSN me, I'm a hot male."

Just, no. (And he wasn't hot)

theodorakisses Wed 10-Jul-13 18:55:09

In Qatar, a non English speaker weAring a T shirt with "hi Hitler" and a swasticker underneath blissfully unaware. I have had together used to seeing that symbol as it is also used for another religion. I think this guy actually had no idea.

theodorakisses Wed 10-Jul-13 19:07:02

I have been upset by some of these. After a ginger thread the other day where I thought I don't really get this, I will Google it and realised what bile and hatred is out there, if I lived in the UK I would report some of these

RonSwanson Wed 10-Jul-13 19:10:57

Tshirt with 'may i recommend the sausage ?' with an arrow pointing down. It did make me laugh though...

JesusInTheCabbageVan Wed 10-Jul-13 19:19:23

Just remembered another one.

What do we want?
Equal rights for Tourettes sufferers.
When do we want it?

loveliesbleeding1 Wed 10-Jul-13 19:22:02

I nearly bought my ds one a couple of years ago with I love ny then I saw in small letters next to the ny was the word fan! (I love fanny)

ladythatlunches Wed 10-Jul-13 19:35:14

I saw one with a baby wearing saying. " mummy should of swallowed"ewwww

waltzingparrot Wed 10-Jul-13 20:46:18

Seen on a t-shirt, hanging on a market stall and small enough to fit a young girl....' Don't be shy, touch my bum!'

spotscotch Wed 10-Jul-13 21:06:23

Urgh, one of DH's mates had a collection of really vile t-shirts. They included one with a man brandishing a meat cleaver with the slogan 'you can't have manslaughter without laughter'. Another one that said 'I like my women like i like my coffee - ground up and in the freezer'. And also 'rape is no laughing matter, unless you are raped by a clown'. He genuinely thought that women would think he was a 'funny guy'.

My brother used to have a couple of fairly dodgy t-shirts (the liquor in the front, poker in the back one was one of them) but somehow he made them funny rather than grim.

He also had a brilliant t-shirt that was the famous Cue Guevara face picture, but instead it was David Hasselhoff!

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Wed 10-Jul-13 21:18:48

Bring us your children, what we can't fuck we eat

I nearly bought it.

tropicalfish Wed 10-Jul-13 22:45:06

I saw a man on the underground with a teeshirt slogan that read
The guy standing next to me sucks cocks

enjolraslove Wed 10-Jul-13 23:05:13

I've always liked 'Jesus loves you. But I'm his favourite'

thefirstmrsrochester Wed 10-Jul-13 23:29:23

I've seen one, I can't remember where, which said 'Jesus loves you........but I think you're a c***'.
I've put the * in for decency, the t-shirt was not '***'d' out.
I was shock

ots Wed 10-Jul-13 23:52:01

I saw "thousands of my potential children died on your girlfriend's face last night!" shock.

And "I may not be your Mrs Right, but I'll fuck you til she arrives!"... on a mum waiting with her DC to get their faces painted at a school fete!

tabulahrasa Thu 11-Jul-13 00:19:25

On a market stall in Amsterdam - toddler size t shirts that said, My dad's a motherfucker.

LouisaJF Thu 11-Jul-13 00:31:52

DH had a lovely collection. One was 'Not fussy, will shag fat birds' which he frequently wore whilst out with me. Another was a picture of a soggy cat on a washing line with 'Everyone loves a wet pussy'.

Sadly they both had accidents involving a very hot iron. I have no idea how that happened wink

Euphemia Thu 11-Jul-13 06:13:26

Louisa Why did you let him be in your presence for a minute in that t-shirt, never mind frequently? hmm

LtEveDallas Thu 11-Jul-13 06:34:23

Where I work now I keep seeing

"Bomb Disposal. If you see me running try to keep up"

I like that one grin

cowmop Thu 11-Jul-13 07:11:09

Hmm, I have a side bar advert for dodgy slogan t shirts on this page right now. The chap is currently wearing a " this t shirt was tested on animals, it didn't fit!" I think they need to try harder to offend judging by some of these.

ZenGardener Thu 11-Jul-13 07:17:40

I saw a young Japanese on the train wear a tshirt that said "I married a nun. I get nun in the morning and nun at night." I did wonder if she understood what it meant.

I once saw a guy on the Internet wearing a t shirt which said "It ain't rape if it's dead" <shudders>

Gobbolinothewitchscat Thu 11-Jul-13 07:22:40

"I'm a cunt, fuck me". Even DH was hmm

That one about eating children is vile

middleagefrumptynumpty Thu 11-Jul-13 07:23:01

Where I live there are a lot of ladies who have come here to be maids and live in cleaners. They all wear shorts and T shirts mostly to do their work. They seem to have very interesting slogan T shirts. A lot of them have the "Your Boyfriend Wants Me" or "I don't give a damn" (not really what you should wear to work). I used to employ a p/t cleaner who wore a T shirt with Sam Fox topless on it. I had to ask her to change it as it was really doing my head in.

CityTiliDie Thu 11-Jul-13 07:26:10

I wear one that says....
"I dont care who you are , I'm not giving you my spoons"

No idea what it means but it still makes me laugh.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 11-Jul-13 07:30:51

I was at a dinner function last night and the guest speaker was Ian Robertson, the BBC rugby correspondent. He was talking about the 2003 Rugby World Cup when a t-shirt competition was held. After each match the best supporters t-shirt was selected and then they all went up against each other to decide the final winner.

The winning t-shirt was selected from the USA v JPN match, an insignificant game in terms of the tournament, held at (I think) Gosford Park.

It simply said:

Pearl Harbor
Gosford Park


It was designed by a Japanese fan!

ZenGardener Thu 11-Jul-13 07:39:35

I also once saw a Japanese guy in his fifties wearing a Bridge over the River Kwai t shirt. It made me feel quite uncomfortable to be honest.

ZingWidge Thu 11-Jul-13 07:55:36

I hate all baby clothes with slogans like:
"gold digger"
"future millionaire/ topmodel/WAG"

and I also hate anything with skull & crossbones generally, but especially for babies and young children!

jammie, I had a t-shirt that said 'this bitch bites'!! But I only wore it out clubbing, never ever anywhere else.

I saw one in town today and thought of this thread!

"I Eat Pussy
Like Fat Girls Eat cake" shock

I am fat and was eating cake (well a granola bar from costa) too blush


OwlinaTree Thu 11-Jul-13 17:51:47

this is fab!

runningonwillpower Thu 11-Jul-13 17:59:20

Only today I saw -

'Fart Loading....

......just wait.'

There's classy

Apileofballyhoo Thu 11-Jul-13 18:02:21

In Little Italy NYC we spotted "Fuck you, you fucking fuck". Made us laugh. Not very wearable though.

Not offensive but rather funny, a baby grow vest thing with an iPod symbol on the front and slogan "iPoo'd" and across the bum said "downloading" grin

BikeRunSki Thu 11-Jul-13 18:43:25

I once wore a T shirt that said:

LIFE for a limited period only

to an old people's home, inadvertendtly
I was rather embarrassed when I realized and hoped no one would notice.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 11-Jul-13 19:15:47

"How long does it take a woman to come? I don't care."

I've often pondered whether he was trying to say he was gay, or what.

bimbabirba Thu 11-Jul-13 19:29:36

I love my tshirt with "weapons of mass distraction" across my boobs grin

lustybusty Thu 11-Jul-13 19:38:31

I have a couple of mildly inappropriate ones:
A vest top, with a series of up arrows and the text "my face is up here" (yes, I am large of nork!)
<- <- <-
-> -> ->

And one I didn't buy (but only cos they wouldn't star it out:
Vegetarian: prehistoric for shit at hunting
(Done dictionary entry style)

larlemucker Thu 11-Jul-13 19:47:59

Shopping for bibs on ebay, there was one that said I'm with the MILF - so so wrong

acsr1987 Thu 11-Jul-13 20:08:07

"last night a BJ saved my life"
worn by a 60 somthing year old man walking around a family museum

Dh used to have one with a big picture of two walnuts on it - underneath it said 'rub my nuts for good luck' - used to get him a bit of attention grin

i've told him he's too old for such things now

I like most of these Bristol sayings, but particularly pick ee out the stingers

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 11-Jul-13 21:13:09

Oh god I love those t-shirts grin I'm from Bristol (dont live there anymore) and "Smoove your Dog" has cracked me up grin grin

Your name should me FrankellyMoiDearrrOiDontGiveADamn grin

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 11-Jul-13 21:19:30

I *need* this one grin


This one's a fave of mine

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 11-Jul-13 21:23:15

For when that one's in the wash

A Bristolian YABU

Helovesmehelovesmenot Thu 11-Jul-13 21:35:26

I saw a baby grow vest thing on the Internet saying " hung like a 5 year old" how is that at all appropriate?

HeffalumpTheFlump Thu 11-Jul-13 22:11:14

DH had a tshirt that read "Forget MySpace, get on My Face". Funnily enough there was a tragic laundry related incident from which it never recovered. Very sad sad


HeffalumpTheFlump Thu 11-Jul-13 22:14:19

I think I'm starting to see a damn fine argument for traditional gender roles to continue: women responsible for laundry means good taste will prevail eventually*

*who said feminists have no sense of humour grin

MrsGrowbag Thu 11-Jul-13 22:23:35

A girl in my DS class, when they were about 9, turned up to a party in a t-shirt with "small but perfectly formed" emblazoned across her chest. Just horrible.

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