That this School Gate Mum is Rude

(151 Posts)
threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 18:37:33

Waiting for my DC at home time today, I don't normally go into the School and wait as DC is at that "It's not cool mum" Stage. But wanted a lolly from the Mums selling them to raise some School Profits.
Anyways I saw one of the Mums who I speak to , As I don't really speak with a lot or any mums there, New to the school just recently. I go over and say hello to her and as I say it one of the other mums who I have not ever seen before says " O there she is the Lady of the night" to me!!! The other mum tells her not to be so rude, so the other mum repeats herself and says " What, I'm only saying she looking like a lady of the night"
Well it was awkward tumbleweed moment going on. I didn't know what it meant so just carried on talking. I got home and looked it up to see what it means, And I now feel as though she deserves a fooking slap the cheeky bitch. How rude.....

usualsuspect Mon 08-Jul-13 18:39:59

Were you wearing a leather mini skirt and fishnet tights?

Sheshelob Mon 08-Jul-13 18:42:50

Were you dressed as Dracula?

Iwantmybed Mon 08-Jul-13 18:43:12

I think you should pull her up on it next time you see her. Doesn't need to be aggressive just enough to shame her.

signorapacino Mon 08-Jul-13 18:44:05

Jeesalou how rude. But just out of interest what were you wearing?

bigbuttons Mon 08-Jul-13 18:44:25

What, she think you look like a whore?

Wahla Mon 08-Jul-13 18:44:51

I know you don't know this women but is there any chance that she also doesn't know the meaning of the phrase <grasps at straws>?

kelda Mon 08-Jul-13 18:45:14

Did you have your pajamas on still?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Mon 08-Jul-13 18:48:32

Are you a Goth? (Also grasping at straws,)

lemonandice Mon 08-Jul-13 18:48:52

That's really rude, but I am wondering if she knows the meaning of the phrase? It's really weird to go "what, I'm only saying she looks like a prostitute." hmm

I agree though, what were you wearing? grin

LifeofPo Mon 08-Jul-13 18:49:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Officershitty Mon 08-Jul-13 18:49:54

Were you wearing something someone out of a porn film would wear? She's probably just a catty bitch.
Once my friend and I saw a woman in a v short skirt bend over on an escalator. Sh e was wearing a thong and I nearly brought up my lunch
shock

Mintyy Mon 08-Jul-13 18:50:07

Surely she doesn't understand the meaning of the phrase?

ParadiseChick Mon 08-Jul-13 18:51:24

You have to tell us what you were wearing!

phantomnamechanger Mon 08-Jul-13 18:53:07

was this woman british? I can only assume she was mixing up her phrases and did not really mean to be insulting.

gamerchick Mon 08-Jul-13 18:53:33

To be fair she probably didn't know what it meant. You didn't after all. Your friend probably filled her in after you left, See if she meets your eyes the next time.

I would have taken it as somebody who is not seen much.. Like a hello stranger type of thing.

Cheddars Mon 08-Jul-13 18:54:47

Maybe she was referring to a night out you've been on and forgotten. confused

<also clutching at straws> How rude!!!

Sheshelob Mon 08-Jul-13 18:56:21

Were you dressed like Whitney Houston from The Bodyguard?

No. That's Queen of the Night, innit.

<thinks furiously>

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 19:01:01

Hot day so I had on a very long cotton jersey to the floor dress and shades on. Also as I was standing next to the Table there was a plastic box with money in it, The float for the lollies and she grabbed it quickly and said I will have that here next to me and moved it.
Now thinking about it she looked like an intelligent women that clearly knew the meaning of what she was saying as she repeated it. I think it was totally uncalled for even if I was dressed as a prossie what right has she to do that anyway.

GiveMumABreak Mon 08-Jul-13 19:02:35

Maybe she meant because she doesn't see you at the school gates often - I find it really hard to believe anybody would be so rude (she must've been confused and not understood what she was saying)

Unless you were dressed in skin tight leather, over the knee boots, fishnet stockings, blonde wig wielding a whip & handcuffs (which I doubt!)

Do they think you are a Julia Roberts-esque prostitute?

zzzexhaustedzzz Mon 08-Jul-13 19:13:49

have you been seen out dressed raunchily (by her husband, who told her she should dress like that?!)

DoctorAnge Mon 08-Jul-13 19:14:40

How strange

AnAirOfHope Mon 08-Jul-13 19:22:09

Strange women

ReluctantBeing Mon 08-Jul-13 19:25:05

You certainly don't sound like you looked like a prostitute. How odd.

ParadiseChick Mon 08-Jul-13 19:27:13

Are there any rumours flying about you?

Hissy Mon 08-Jul-13 19:29:04

Maybe she thought you were in your nighty? confused

Or have your dc described your job in a way which might have been misunderstood? A nightshift in a hospital might easily be mutated by playground chat. Dd1 told her teachers that dh's job was to tickle children because his job was to make sad children happy and that was how he made her happy (he actually works in CAMHS and no tickling involved)

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 19:30:15

The other Mum got really flustered and tried to hush her up saying sush don't be so rude, That's really rude. Does it sound like I looked like a prostitute?

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Mon 08-Jul-13 19:30:18

Can't believe she moved her takings away from you, she can't think much of your prostitute skills/earnings!

Hissy Mon 08-Jul-13 19:31:01

Funny enough, our school 'invited someone to leave' our playground one afternoon pick up.

She was in thigh highs and a microskirt...

Hissy Mon 08-Jul-13 19:31:13

Apparently.

Wishfulmakeupping Mon 08-Jul-13 19:31:41

Wtaf I'm offended on your behalf! You need to corner her sharpish and ask her what she meant and what her problem is! Cheeky bitch

Theselittlelightsofmine Mon 08-Jul-13 19:32:00

I would ask your friend if she has any idea what that comment was supposed to of meant.

Gumps Mon 08-Jul-13 19:33:28

I'm sorry to say that if the other mum hushed her up she knew why she made the comment. There must be some rumours/stories going round school about you sad

KatOD Mon 08-Jul-13 19:38:29

I'd call her on it and ask her what her problem is and why she felt it necessary to be so rude/immature towards you (preferably in front of people). If she claims there's no problem just point out that she can't possibly understand the vocabulary she's using.

How horrible for you.

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 19:46:29

only been at the school for four weeks, so it cant be rumours flying about. They know nothing about me because I keep myself to myself. And we use to go to school out of the area.

BlueSprite Mon 08-Jul-13 19:47:47

Do you wear lots of make-up,which makes you look quite done up - eyelash extensions, glam hair etc? Not judging at all,just asking as perhaps she is jealous of the effort you make and wants to put you down? This happened to one of my friends, who is very pretty and always makes an effort with her appearance,although in her case the digs were far more subtle.

nosila12 Mon 08-Jul-13 19:50:49

i can't think what the expression is but isn't there one that kind of means - flitting in and out without really stopping to chat. could she have been meaning to say something like that i wonder.

nosila12 Mon 08-Jul-13 19:51:29

ooh that's it - ships in the night!

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Mon 08-Jul-13 19:51:54

Maybe she doesn't know what that means and meant you only come out at night because she doesn't she you much at school? Still rude though

BlueSprite Mon 08-Jul-13 19:53:11

Forgot to say, she is a nasty piece of work and you are definitely not being unreasonable.

Whitegrenache Mon 08-Jul-13 19:53:21

Hissy...are you in Durham by any chance?

usualsuspect Mon 08-Jul-13 19:53:24

Fly by night?

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman Mon 08-Jul-13 19:54:49

Have you by any chance asked her DH to be cycle buddies?

Hissy Mon 08-Jul-13 19:55:22

smile whitegrenache, surprisingly, NO! Leafy Hampshire.

Don't tell me it happens elsewhere? shock

peggotty Mon 08-Jul-13 19:55:40

It doesn't bloody matter what the op looks like/chooses to wear - that woman was just horribly rude and offensive!! She should be thoroughly ashamed of herself! Don't question yourself or your own behaviour any further - sometimes people are just nasty because they get away with it! I hope you're feeling ok and try to forget about her.

usualsuspect Mon 08-Jul-13 19:56:10

Mind you, 'fly by night' is not exactly flattering unless she didn't know what it meant.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Mon 08-Jul-13 19:56:50

She obviously has no life too, I'd feel sorry for her

kelda Mon 08-Jul-13 19:57:25

I wonder if the woman didn't know what it meant exactly. Maybe she was just implying that the OP was looking glamourous in a long dress and shades. The OP says herself she didn't know what the phrase means.

I would let it go.

usualsuspect Mon 08-Jul-13 19:57:28

I'd want to know why she said it, I couldn't just forget it.

You have to ask her,OP

usualsuspect Mon 08-Jul-13 19:58:49

Ah, yes, maybe she thought you looked glammed up for a night out?

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Mon 08-Jul-13 20:01:14

It's so hard but try to rise above it she obviously has ishoo's

emilialuxembourg Mon 08-Jul-13 20:01:18

How were you not familiar with the phrase 'lady of the night' and had to look it up, but you use terms like 'fookin' and 'prossie'? This story doesn't add up. Unless you're English abroad?

Burmobasher Mon 08-Jul-13 20:01:35

grin Fuzzywuzzy
Even if you turned up wearing nowt but nipple tassels and a gimp mask I would still be too polite to say anything. She sounds like a rotten cow bag and I bet your not the first mum she's pissed off.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Mon 08-Jul-13 20:06:24

Lady of the night is quite an old fashioned expression though stands to reason not everyone has heard it

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 20:07:59

I just looked normal in my long dress and sunglasses so couldn't see my make up. I don't wear false eyelashes, eye shadow. But do wear a bit of foundation and Vaseline on my chapped lips. Not overdone for the school run just minimum effort. Flat pump shoes, no hooker heels.
I feel like calling her out on it to be honest, As like I said I'm new to the school and was already feeling like nobody there talks to me and now she has made me feel like shit and I just want to keep my head down and wait else wear for DC away from the school gates.

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 20:12:23

Emilia I am not familiar with that phrase so did have to look it up. When I did it pissed me off, As even if I did know what it means I would not be so rude as to use it to anyone.

hermioneweasley Mon 08-Jul-13 20:12:54

She sounds mental. I wouldn't give her another thought.

Guitargirl Mon 08-Jul-13 20:15:00

She doesn't sound very pleasant but neither do you to be honest - how do you think a 'prossie' is supposed to look anyway? The image you seem to have is from cheap films.

zzzzz Mon 08-Jul-13 20:15:14

You know this is her problem don't you?

Even if you were the ladiest lady of the nightiest night, this would be beyond odd.

Ask her what on earth she meant by it if you like, but I'd just ignore it.

She sounds like she may have some serious social problems.

badfaketan Mon 08-Jul-13 20:16:14

Were you wearing the shades inside like celebs do in clubs?
(Clutching at straws here)!
It's so rude I can only think she doesn't know the true meaning.

Shelby2010 Mon 08-Jul-13 20:16:24

Could she have meant Lady of Mystery, on the basis they hardly see you, but got herself mixed up? Sounds like what she actually said was not only rude but completely bizarre! Call the friendly mum & ask if anything was said after you left. Then come back & tell us.

Whitegrenache Mon 08-Jul-13 20:21:14

Hissy, exactly like you, it "apparently"happened and the lady of the night was asked to leave the school gates!! And this was rural leafy Durham grin

clippityclop Mon 08-Jul-13 20:21:38

Weirdo, ignore and move on!

cfc Mon 08-Jul-13 20:30:44

If no one else talks to you then you#ve got nowt to lose. Call the bitch out.

I wouldn't be surprised if you find that when you do, you'll make friends. They'll respect you for it, I know I would!

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 20:47:52

no not wearing shades inside, we were outside in the fresh air. Maybe I will go all Julia Roberts dressed tomorrow and really give her something to comment about.

Jimmybob Mon 08-Jul-13 20:52:46

If I was brave enough...

I would be tempted to say -

"I wondered when you commented that I looked like a lady of the night yesterday if you wondered what it meant?"

She may say yes and then you could either tell her what you think or ask her why she said that...or watch her squirm with embarassment when you explain what it means to her ....and how rude and judgemental she is.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Mon 08-Jul-13 20:54:52

Maybe she is currently absolutely mortified about what she said.

I reckon that either she didn't know what it meant and just meant woman of mystery type thing.

Or

She was having one of the horrible cringey moments where she said the wrong thing, twice, and she actually meant to say something different.

I still cant believe the amount of totally inappropriate people I called twat/said twat too thinking it was just a northern version of twit

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 21:03:08

The moment may of gone now I think, She will have time to back track and make out like she didn't know what she was saying would cause offence.

Officershitty Mon 08-Jul-13 21:07:08

You said you had a long dress on. Was it dark? Do you have long dark hair? Perhaps she thought you were dressed like a goth. In any case, she was shockingly rude. Buy a large handbag, stand close to her and accidentally knock her on the bonce with it.

Officershitty Mon 08-Jul-13 21:09:47

She doesn't sound very pleasant but neither do you to be honest Guitargirl, be a bit nicer.

changeling1234 Mon 08-Jul-13 21:11:18

My guess is that she is confused over what the phrase means. A very proper, elderly lady I worked with once called a colleague a "complete wanker". We were all shock. Turns out she thought it meant the same as wally. Gave us all a good laugh though.

LookingForwardToMarch Mon 08-Jul-13 21:11:27

Hmmm weird.

To be honest the fact that other woman tried to shush her seems to indicate that she knew what the comment was for?

Odd for it to just be a case of jealousy...a case of mistaken identity perhaps?

frutilla Mon 08-Jul-13 21:14:28

Do you look like Sarah Brightman, wasn't she The Lady of the Night in Phantom of the Opera?

frutilla Mon 08-Jul-13 21:15:35

...Or she mixed that up with Wilkie Collins' The Woman in White. Clutching at straws here....

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 08-Jul-13 21:21:58

It sounds like you looked more vampiric than like a prostitute - do you think she meant that?

BlueSkySunnyDay Mon 08-Jul-13 21:23:12

Rude whatever as you didn't know her - if a friend said it I would probably find it funny.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 08-Jul-13 21:23:44

Maybe there are rumours because you keep yourself to yourself. Do there appear to be certain cliques, parents that always stand together and don't seem to talk to others.
I'd walk straight up to her and slap her, but then don't advocate doing what I do.
She sounds a nasty bitch who knew what she was saying and the other woman sounds like she knew why she was saying it.
I bet they have started rumours because they are so boring and have nothing better to do. Ignore them for the loons they are.
Or slap the bitch grin

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 21:35:36

LookingForward I agree that it does indicate that she knew what the comment was for. Seen as she repeated it, she knew she had said it once and was told to hush but then she said it again but in a different style!!! Cant see it being mistaken Identity cos not many dark skinned Mums at the School and I am the new kid on the block!

LookingForwardToMarch Mon 08-Jul-13 21:47:04

Hmmm it is so odd!!!

I would need to find out if it was me, whatever the meaning behind it it can't be a nice thing!

badfaketan Mon 08-Jul-13 21:47:05

Just seen your skin comment.Is it some kind of horrible racist thing?

LookingForwardToMarch Mon 08-Jul-13 21:48:55

Oh lord hadn't even considered that!!!

If thats it then its beyond vile and rude would be a hideous understatement!

That can't be it can it?

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 21:53:36

I didn't want to go down that route of the horrible racist thing. But when she blatantly moved the cash flow box away it made me feel very uncomfortable and like she was being a Bitch on purpose. I,m not vampire looking just an Afro Caribbean Mum with A mixed raced DC.

fuckwittery Mon 08-Jul-13 22:01:08

god, lady of the night, some kind of comment on your dark skin, I bloody well hope not. You have to ask the other mum what she thought, and I think you do have to call this women up on it
Did you mean to sound so rude when you called me a prostitute the other day?

LookingForwardToMarch Mon 08-Jul-13 22:08:34

Agreed

You need to speak to the 'other' mum aswell. It seems she knows what the other was implying/meant

At best the woman was rude

At worst she is a bigot that needs challenging!

Theselittlelightsofmine Mon 08-Jul-13 22:12:59

I really think your best bet is with the other nice parent or even asking directly to bitchy parent why did you call me a prostitute yesterday?

I'd ask the other parent what the woman meant and to put it straight, because it seems she knows what the other parent was trying to say and whether it was related to race, rumours going on about you, jealousy or whatever else it's a vile thing to say to someone.

What a complete moron.

PureDeadBrilliant Mon 08-Jul-13 22:36:27

Oh, that does not sound good.

I think that she is a loon, and possibly a bigot. Pathetic really.

threerings Mon 08-Jul-13 22:37:32

yes I am going to approach the nice mum and ask her what was all that about? Agreed a complete Moron.

HairyWorm Mon 08-Jul-13 23:00:57

What a dick.
You could ask her if she knows what the phrase means and does she realise she's called you a prostitute?
I'd go from the angle of 'you obviously didn't mean to call me that', to keep it a bit friendlier.

She seems to be referring to how you look so could easily be trying to refer to you as goth but getting it totally wrong. It doesn't sound like you were dressed in a way that could be construed as a prostitute so that doesn't really make sense. It might be that she's being a dick to you because of race but it doesn't really read as a racist comment in itself, so that doesn't make sense either.

Maybe she's just the local idiot.

I think the way you handled it was great. Just carried on talking and ignored her.

Either way If I were in your positions I'd need to know... can you speak to the nice mum and find out?

HairyWorm Mon 08-Jul-13 23:02:19

oooops x post.
come back and tell us what happens!

M0naLisa Mon 08-Jul-13 23:03:30

id have asked her what she meant

She's either incredibly nasty, incredibly racist or both.

Lora1982 Mon 08-Jul-13 23:52:07

To me it sounds like she was saying it because she rarely sees you. I don't think she meant it rudely but that's how it's been construed. People say that all the time round my way... (we aren't all prozzies just busy)

Buzzardbird Mon 08-Jul-13 23:56:56

Wow. I thought I knew some rude and ignorant people.
Ask her what she meant.

"To me it sounds like she was saying it because she rarely sees you."

I agree, but it is not something you say to a virtual stranger, a new mum at the school! It is something you say to somebody you have known a lot longer, so either racist/rude/judgmental, or over-familiar. Weird anyway. Especially as the others called her on it, and she stood by it, and added insult to injury by removing the cash away from OP shock

To be honest, I would go in and ask to see the HT to find out if there were any allegations of theft against you or your family, on the basis of this behaviour. I would be very keen to find out what has been said in school about your family. Or if your son is bullied. If he does not want you in the school play ground, do you think it is because he wants to shield you from something, rather than being an embarrassed age?

Sunrunner Tue 09-Jul-13 10:06:21

Hissy - is the school in a place beginning with A?

mrsshackleton Tue 09-Jul-13 10:08:17

She didn't know what it mean, she meant she hardly ever sees you.

threerings Tue 09-Jul-13 10:55:24

She knew what she meant when saying it, As she was told to hush and don't be so rude, Then she repeated it. I now don't believe it was unintended.
This morning I was on the opposite side of the road to her and another mum, And she looked over at me turned her head away and blanked me. Yesterday she had the nerve to say this to me and this morning she felt the need to blank me. My DC is not bullied at school, And has made lots of friends for being there for such a short time which we are both glad about.
Don't think any rumours of us going about as not been there long enough.
seems to me that she is a cow bag that thinks I'm a prostitute and a thief, And she has judged me badly without even knowing me, As I've never seen or spoken to her before.

YouTheCat Tue 09-Jul-13 11:00:41

She sounds like a lunatic.

Theselittlelightsofmine Tue 09-Jul-13 12:35:44

You only have to be in a new place for day before the gossips start and as they don't know anything about you, they are making there own minds up I'm afraid.

BlueSkySunnyDay Tue 09-Jul-13 12:44:51

She blanked you today - hmm sounds like she is someone you don't need to waste time getting to know, nice of her to save you the effort before you found out further down the line.

She's obviously a bit odd, I wouldn't bother giving her any further thought.

If you are new to the area and its a small community then the born and bred there bunch can be real nests of vipers

aldiwhore Tue 09-Jul-13 12:46:28

I disagree with you when you say she knew exactly what she meant because she repeated. I bet if you'd known the phrase and said "You think I'm a prostitute???" she would have said no.

Re moving the cash till.

I know you don't want to think it might be racist, and there's a chance it isn't and I'll tell you why, because this also happened to me. I was new to a school mum friendship group, and when they went out they always had a kitty, everyone used to go to the bar with the kitty purse in turns.

On my turn, the self appointed 'leader' gave me a grave speaking to about how much was in there, that it had been counted etc etc., I was a bit hmm but went to the bar, after I was done I returned the kitty purse with receipt! About an hour later this silly bint started openly accusing me of stealing the kitty purse, she couldn't find it, so I MUST have stolen it... it was all very upsetting. She found it 10 minutes later in her bag.

It could be that this woman is JUST a twat, that your race has nowt to do with it, maybe it is racial - either way the woman was being a twat.

You have to find it funny else you end up miserable or thinking everyone is that bad, you know you don't look like a prostitute, you know she was BU, and so does the lady who was there too. Try not to take it to heart.

BlueSkySunnyDay Tue 09-Jul-13 12:49:17

I'm guessing if you talk to other people you will find she is generally thought of as a bit of a prat, i'd forgotten about the fact that she moved the money - pfffft just ignore her....waste of space.

MammaTJ Tue 09-Jul-13 12:58:31

I would concentrate more on the reaction of the other mum, who knew she was wrong and pointed it out, than her reaction, or you will drive yourself mad. Ignore her and try to talk to others.

Buzzardbird Tue 09-Jul-13 19:59:22

Please, please, please go up to her tomorrow and say "excuse me but your husband owes me £50...again" grin

scottishmummy Tue 09-Jul-13 20:06:04

How deliciously obnoxious,she sounds like a bampot
You've clearly got chutzpah that you got her going
Knowing i annoyed her, I'd be inclined to ham it when I saw her

Bexicles Tue 09-Jul-13 20:16:40

A little bit of jealousy on her part, you sound very stylish and confident. Some people have nothing better to do than judge.

Vivacia Tue 09-Jul-13 20:17:37

I would have to call her on this. I'd say something like, "the other day you said you thought I looked like a prostitute. I didn't realise that was what your phrase meant at the time. I think you need to explain why you made such a hurtful comment".

Vivacia Tue 09-Jul-13 20:19:09

Oh, and do it in front of witnesses.

scottishmummy Tue 09-Jul-13 20:24:19

Oh god no sassy response,yo sista it's wanky and IMO better play it cool

Balaboosta Tue 09-Jul-13 23:57:31

It occurs to me also that she means "ships in the night" meaning someone you don't see very often. Maybe you could ask her what she meant. My dd once called my best friend a "painted lady" because she had painted her nails with nail varnish. His idea of a friendly stupid joke but she has never forgotten it. It happened thirty years ago...

Balaboosta Tue 09-Jul-13 23:58:01

dd as in dear dad - not daughter!

imademarion Wed 10-Jul-13 00:17:36

Could you wear a phial of blood around your neck and bare toy vampire teeth at her when nobody else can see? Leave garlic on her car windscreen and move away muttering when you see a crucifix? Wait till the autumn and loom, unspeaking, out if the mist when it's just the two of you on the path?

Try and give her a full-scale nervous breakdown. By Christmas.

That'll learn her.

FormaLurka Wed 10-Jul-13 00:31:11

If you was wearing something that looked tart-ish then she was most likely making a very rude joke. However, what you was wearing sounds very 'respectable' so I suspect that she was making an innocent joke that sounded funny in her head and that no one else gets.

FormaLurka Wed 10-Jul-13 00:35:58

I just read the color comments. I think that the lady of the night comment was directed at the OP's color as opposed to her 'employment'

aldiwhore Wed 10-Jul-13 01:25:40

I've never heard anyone call someone a 'lady of the night' in reference to skin colour.

I would put money on her thinking it was another phrase (who knows which one!?!) and she got mixed up. I don't know exactly what she intended, it might be worse than you think or very much nicer!

I agree with those who say to follow this up, casually, bluntly and politely. I'd also speak to the other mum to get a better measure of what may have been intended.

McGeeDiNozzo Wed 10-Jul-13 04:26:08

I'm afraid that this sounds like a simple case of racism to me.

KhaosandKalamity Wed 10-Jul-13 07:14:13

Please let us know what happens. Fascinated about whether she was well meaning and confused or just another bitch, really hoping shes nice and not all of the people out there who seem horrid actually are.

FridaKarlov Wed 10-Jul-13 09:30:29

She sounds like a total arsehole. Just ignore her.

tobiasfunke Wed 10-Jul-13 09:40:04

She sounds like a racist. Sorry. It's the sort of shit my FIL comes out with.

Given the comments and moving the cash box yesterday and the blanking today, I sadly think this woman is making assumptions, nasty ones, and possibly being racist too.

OP, Please don't think all school mums are like that. We're not.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Wed 10-Jul-13 10:28:35

I'm afraid that this sounds like a simple case of racism to me.

I agree sad angry

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Wed 10-Jul-13 11:16:24

Wow, what a strange woman, just plain nasty and weird with it. Imagine behaving like this to someone you've never even met properly... It is just so incomprehensible.

Four weeks sounds exactly the right time for rumors to start flying, so I think you are being a little too kind in thinking otherwise!

But I don't get how this bigoted nasty woman could think that being openly insulting is acceptable - no random rumor justifies that... I would suspect that other people are just as shocked as you even if they know her weirdo reasons.

Wishfulmakeupping Wed 10-Jul-13 13:10:22

OP have you had a chance to speak to them yet?

I might have missed it but why are you so new to the school only a few weeks before summer? Perhaps there are rumours going around about the reasons for that as its pretty unusual at this time of year for people to change schools

By the way... not actually bothered myself but just trying to think of alternatives to they think your a prostitue or they are blatant racists!

threerings Fri 12-Jul-13 14:18:20

Westmorland we moved schools at this short time due to last school closing and wanted to settle DC before September so would of made friends before.
So I bump into her and a Friend of hers, To which as I approached her she told the the Friend to go and wait for her over there. I called her out on what and why she said it.
"Are you normally so rude to people you don't know? "
"Sorry who are you?"
Are you xxxx Friend"? Not the Friends name at all she mentioned and who she was standing next to at the time, ( The sush Lady) But a totally different persons name!!!
"I'm the Lady of the Night as you put it the other day" "Why would you say such a thing"?
"Oh my gosh I didn't realise I was speaking to you, Are you sure I was speaking to you?"
"You called me by my name, So yes you were speaking to me"?
"I'm sorry you were feeling that way, Thank you for bringing it to my attention".
" My only feeling was how rude you were as a person and I would prefer it that you don't speak to me like that again".
"Thank you" she said, Then I walked away from her, Because at that point I could feel my hand wanting to rise and slap her off her condescending arse...

Buzzardbird Fri 12-Jul-13 14:47:10

So, no explanation as to why she called you a prostitute?

PrivateBenjamin Fri 12-Jul-13 14:47:34

"Thank you for bringing it to my attention." WTF?!? She knew full well what she was doing.

Well done for being so calm threerings she sounds like a horrible snide bully.

YouTheCat Fri 12-Jul-13 14:56:56

What an absolute bitch! She knew what she was saying and who to. She'll not do it again though.

JaceyBee Fri 12-Jul-13 15:18:28

Well done on standing up to her! What you said was assertive, not overkill and definitely would have let her know she can't behave like that with you. Perfectly handled! smile

loveliesbleeding1 Fri 12-Jul-13 15:25:53

Well done you for not whacking her , now you have stood up to her she is sure to leave you alone .

Cailinsalach Fri 12-Jul-13 15:28:53

You are so much braver than me, Threerings, and good on you for challenging her.
She sounds like a bully ( and a possible racist to boot). In my experience bullies are intrinsically cowards and it sounds as if you sent her running.

Vivacia Fri 12-Jul-13 17:17:21

Good for you, she either sounds a bit scared of you calling her on her nastiness. I don't think it will change her, but I don't think she'll make you a target in future.

Well done for calling her on it. She sounds nasty.

Theselittlelightsofmine Fri 12-Jul-13 18:57:10

Well done OP smile

CeliaFate Fri 12-Jul-13 19:04:13

"I'm sorry you were feeling that way, Thank you for bringing it to my attention" In other words, I don't apologise for what I said.
It's a stock answer to make you go away.
What an utter cow.
I can't believe someone could be that rude to your face!
I would speak to the Headteacher - it happened on school premises and if nothing else you'll get your side of the story in before that cow does!

sparklekitty Fri 12-Jul-13 19:05:43

Jeeze, if she wants to see mums dressed as 'ladies of the night' she should come to my school. We had to send a letter out about it and everything!

QueenofWhispers Fri 12-Jul-13 20:13:05

she's probably jealous or has the beginnings of a mental illness. It's not normal to say things like that to anyone, unless they have something you don't and you feel a need to 'shame' which rings true for both jealousy or mental illness.

I have nothing to be jealous of, but I have run into quite a few characters that say all sorts of things to me (not all at once, or else I would think it was me...but distant and random encounters that statistically can be explained...1 in 4 people do experience some sort of mental illness in their lifetime. (Sounds super high to me...but I googled it).

scottishmummy Fri 12-Jul-13 21:05:29

Good you had the confidence to call on her on it
I'd have been unhappy but too cluck cluck to say owt
No I wouldn't approach the head teacher,it's not a school matter

SoleSource Fri 12-Jul-13 21:14:27

Oh ffs sad

Confront her, what if she is spreading rumours about you and your children hear about it?

Call her a racist!

scottishmummy Fri 12-Jul-13 21:20:19

Lets nip the mental illness thing,you are purely speculating
Maybe the woman is simply rude,boorish
Not all intolerable behaviours=mental illness

CSIJanner Fri 12-Jul-13 21:20:47

Well done on confronting her - from the way she sent her friend away and acting and answering defensively, I think she was expecting to be pulled up on it.

And rightly so.

scottishmummy Fri 12-Jul-13 21:23:23

It's sad that you have to endure such offensive rudeness op
Hopefully you'll get oppurtunity to meet some other nicer parents

SoleSource Fri 12-Jul-13 21:27:12

Oh I skipped through thread and missed update but I am very tired tonight, sorry OP.

Good for you smile she is a bare faced liar!

Fuck her!

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 12-Jul-13 23:57:19

Well done! She has alot, erm, alot of something to come up with the weird reply... Strange strange strange...

kali110 Sat 13-Jul-13 02:41:11

Even if shes goth thats hardly an excuse.op shes rude. Take no notice. Iv had people raise their eyes when i go out, just for being rocker,piercings and tattoos. I take no bloody notice as theyre obv not people i want nor need in my life! Appearance shouldnt matter. My friends know im kindest ( sometimes too kind) friendliest person.
Also i think to women who was sent out of playgroind for what she was wearing, thigh high boots, so what? Shes picking her child up noones business what she wears.

kali110 Sat 13-Jul-13 02:56:31

Maybe she got you mixed up with somebody else? Either way she maybe spreading random things about you. Sounds like her friend was impressed by it if she was shushing her! Hats off to you for confronting her. Maybe she never got over high school and is showing shes top dog. By moving the cash box straight away just humiliated and demeaned you. Id steer clear, sounds like a right stuck up saddo!

LimitedEditionLady Sat 13-Jul-13 07:21:59

Did you look tired?

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