To ask how to conceive a boy?

(84 Posts)
ChickenLickenSticken Sat 06-Jul-13 08:44:35

At my 10 day check with dd my midwife said "well done getting a girl, they are harder to conceive... Next time if you want a boy, give me a shout and I'll tell you how"... She's got nearly 40 years mw experience so I kind of believe her, but am not going to ring the doctors surgery and ask them o ask her for me!!

Do any of you lot know what she banging on about?? Surely any tips are purely anecdotal?

I remember hearing that girl sperm and boy sperm survive/swim differently but can't remember what way round.

Day 3 of ewcm here and whilst we're not ttc for a couple of months it'd be interesting to know these things, even if they are all a bit pie in the sky??

So come one, tell me your experiences and tips of choosing your baby's gender?

<only semi-serious by the way>

Innacorner Sat 06-Jul-13 08:46:48

Your midwife sounds a bit barmy, and unprofessional.

UnicornsPooGlitter Sat 06-Jul-13 08:47:26

In the kindest possible way, she's talking rubbish smile.

NewAtThisMalarky Sat 06-Jul-13 08:48:06

I don't know what your midwife would say, but I can tell you what worked for me.

I had unprotected sex.


eurozammo Sat 06-Jul-13 08:49:19

You have sex. You have a 50/50 chance of a boy. Your midwife sounds like a loon.

If timing sex could influence it you'd never get boy/girl twins would you?

Tee2072 Sat 06-Jul-13 08:50:46

Have sex. Conceive. Wait to see what the gender is. You have a 50% chance either way.

fatlazymummy Sat 06-Jul-13 08:52:41

The only thing I have heard is that having sex 'doggy' style is more likely to produce boys. Not sure if it's true though'
I know there is a book out there somewhere - there is an actual method involving diet, timing , positions etc, again not sure if they work but it's do with the differences between XX carrying sperm and XY sperm.

tiredandtiredandtired Sat 06-Jul-13 08:52:47

Sex the day before, or on the day of ovulation for a boy, three to four days before for a girl

honeytea Sat 06-Jul-13 08:53:18

I have been told that boy sperm swim faster but die easier and girl sperm are stronger but slower so in theory if you have sex 3 days before ovulation all the boy sperm will be dead before the egg gets released so you will get a girl baby but if you have sex on the day of ovulation the quick boy sperm will get to the egg before the slow girl sperm.

It wasn't the case for us, we had sex at least 3 days before ovulation and then not again till after ovulation and we have a baby boy ( we were not trying for a girl we were just happy to finally be pregnant)

jacks365 Sat 06-Jul-13 08:53:56

In theory boy sperm swims faster but dies quicker than girl sperm so you could potentially time it to get a boy or girl. Doesn't work though, according to the way it works my fourth should be a boy but she isn't. ( didn't try for a boy just messing around once pregnant trying to guess the sex) in fact when looking into it just about everything said she should be a boy.

Idocrazythings Sat 06-Jul-13 08:56:41

Another here who thinks she's a bit bonkers you get what you get I think. She maybe needs to retire.

Idocrazythings Sat 06-Jul-13 08:57:32

Haha the bonkers midwife talking about how to bonk! grin

MojitoMagnet Sat 06-Jul-13 08:58:41

Timing sex can have a very slight influence on the probability. All it does is make the odds more like 47:53 rather than 50:50 so it's not exactly a sure-fire method.

However, it has been shown that on average sperm carrying a Y chromosome (for a boy) swim faster but die sooner, and sperm carrying an X chromosome (for a girl) are slower but more enduring. However, it's like saying "men are taller than women" - on average it may be true but you always get some tall women and some short men so it's not always true.

If your cycle is regular enough to work out your day of ovulation in advance, and avoid sex for a week before then (you can even postpone it for a bit after ovulation as the egg takes a while to travel up the fallopian tube) and only then have sex, then only the fastest-swimming sperm will get there and you have a better chance it will be a Y sperm. If you want to aim for an X sperm, you need to have sex 2 days before you ovulate, but then NOT have sex after that till your next cycle - so only the longest-lived (and therefore more likely to be X) sperm survive to fertilise. (not really a brilliant way to TTC though, as you're more likely to have many many months with no BFP if none of the sperm are quite that long-lived)

Fakebook Sat 06-Jul-13 09:00:26

Hahaha. The theory is that girl sperm last longer so if you have sex straight after your period before ovulation it's much more likely the girl sperm will hang around until the egg comes down and fertilise it. Boy sperms die quickly but are faster so you're suppose to have sex as closest to the day of ovulation as possible so they get to the egg first.

It's all bullshit though! I don't know with dd1, as she was unplanned, but I had sex almost everyday a week before ovulation with DS and he was conceived. Did the same only once with this pregnancy and its a girl. You can't choose to conceive a specific sex!

WafflyVersatile Sat 06-Jul-13 09:02:08

There is only one thing that ^ slightly^ alters your chances and that is the age if the father. Older fathers are more likely to have girls.

Perhaps she's suggesting a one night stand with a twenty year old.

Girls are more difficult to conceive is nonsense.

ChickenLickenSticken Sat 06-Jul-13 09:03:02

Rumour has it she's a sex therapist too.... She deffo is bonkers but a fantastic midwife. She's like the Joanna Lumley (not patsy!) of midwives.

When I was pg with dd she'd apparently correctly guessed the gender of something like 50 babies on the trot by listening to the heartbeat. I didn't want her to tell me what I was having so told her not to say.

So if I'm day 3 of ewcm when might ov take place??

I had lots of fabulous sex to get a boy.

Maybe less frequent and boring sex = a girl?

Awizardsstaffhasaknobontheend Sat 06-Jul-13 09:04:25

Actually you are more likely to have a boy than a girl but the difference in probability is only a couple of % points. It all gets evened out though as male babies have a slightly higher rate of infant mortality.

I've heard that men with more brothers than sisters are more likely to have boys.

And butchers are more likely to have girls.

AuntieStella Sat 06-Jul-13 09:05:27

The MW sounds utterly bats.

There are slightly more male babies born than female ones.

But the only thing you can do is have sex and hope you conceive. The differences in 'swimming time' are marginal. And sperm (both X and Y) can live for several days in vivo.

Bogeyface Sat 06-Jul-13 09:15:41

It used to be believed that the heart rate was slightly faster for a boy than a girl, but that theory was thoroughly debunked in the 90's. She is just probably really good at guessing or is......exaggerating? wink

There are no guarantees when having a baby, and I like that. In this "I want it my way and I want it now" world, I think its good that we have a reminder that mother nature is still in charge!

StuntGirl Sat 06-Jul-13 09:18:54

Have sex.


You now have a 50% chance of having a boy.

Tortington Sat 06-Jul-13 09:20:49

you must suck a lollipop preferably strawberry whilst wearing a red coloured hat and hopping on one leg - the leg must have a fake tan - just that leg - this is ver important.

NicknameIncomplete Sat 06-Jul-13 09:22:32

I dont believe that girls are harder to conceive. My whole family is made up of 99% girls.

elQuintoConyo Sat 06-Jul-13 09:24:11

Bury a potato under an elm tree under a full moon while barking.

What's your mw been smoking?

fledtoscotland Sat 06-Jul-13 09:26:32

How odd of her!

We dtd regularly and has DS1. Dtd once when ds1 was 6 wks old and DS2 is here.

My side of the family only have girls (no boys born for 3generations) and DHs side only have had boys,

javotte Sat 06-Jul-13 09:26:51

DH really wanted a boy. I followed a diet rich in sodium and potassium (and slightly above my calorie needs) for 2 months before TTC, we had sex on the day I ovulated.
We now have a lovely 9 m.o. daughter! grin

bigbuttons Sat 06-Jul-13 09:29:15

I know some people go to desparate measures to get a certain sex. I remember listening to a radio prog once that said the more of one sex you have then the more likely it is that you will have the same sex again. I can't remember the science though. I had boy, boy, girl, girl, girl, boy.

bigbuttons Sat 06-Jul-13 09:29:35

desperate , even.

grin @ Tortington

Yes, have sex after ovulation for a boy - either use a ov test, take your temp (should be a slight rise ?), or have sex when you really fancy it ! (I heard thoroughly enjoying it is good for conceiving boys too blush)

Have sex before ovulation for a girl, and then have a gap - so yes, slightly more boring, routine type sex maybe ?

I have one of each, girl first after a year of TTC
DS (DC2) conceived soon after TTC again.

Maybe those with both have more variety in their sex life !

I like to think there are things you can do to help things along, especially timing wise.

And of course boys and girls are equally wonderful. Good luck to all whichever you'd like thanks BTW I'd have been equally happy with a second girl, but love my boy too.

FeegleFion Sat 06-Jul-13 09:35:32

It's all down to your man...wink

There is no way to make sure you have a DS.

As Tee says, have sex, if you're lucky enough to conceive, you're blessed and have a 50/ 50 chance.

ArtemisiaGentileschisThumb Sat 06-Jul-13 09:37:08

Sperm count apparently can affect the gender in addition to the timing, a higher sperm count is more likely to produce a boy and sex needs to be very close to ovulation. It's a theory and only likely to sway the odds ever so slightly. There are books on amazon all about it.

Onetwo34 Sat 06-Jul-13 09:37:43

It is well hard to conceive a girl. I mean, look how rare they are. Like orchids.

SirBoobAlot Sat 06-Jul-13 09:43:47

I want some of what your midwife has been smoking.

whateverwhoever Sat 06-Jul-13 10:39:04

My ex impregnated me with more than the usual amount of boys. He said he "knew how to put them up there" and it was God's will so I should just accept it. For further info on putting a boy up there see my ex.

Incidentally God then decided I should divorce him and he just had to accept that....

marriedinwhiteagain Sat 06-Jul-13 10:44:44

Four boys conceived here (1 successful pg though) all planned to the nth degree. DD was a total mistake conceived against medical advice whilst I underwent tests. Only pg to get to term!! Dunno if that helps but I'd say be grateful for ever single healthy baby that's born.

OxfordBags Sat 06-Jul-13 10:54:36

It's all a load of bollocks. You have sex, you get a 50-50 chance of conceiving a boy or girl, as most of the other posters say. It's also bollocks that families have some genetic predisposition to having mostly boys of girls; it really all is chance and coincidence, even if it doesn't appear that way.

Even if you do all the old wives tales stuff to help you conceive a particular sex, and you did conceive that sex, it won't be those things that did it, it will still be a coincidence.

And Juggling, I am, I don't doubt, one of a gazillion MNers who could tell you that they conceived a boy through sex before ovulation. The chance of conceiving after ovulation is about 5%. I imagine that most women who think they have conceived after it were actually wrong about the precise timing of that specific ovulation.

FayeKorgasm Sat 06-Jul-13 12:42:59

How dull would the world be without people like your MW OP?

mumandboys123 Sat 06-Jul-13 12:50:24

have sex with any of the men who were the partners of women in my antenatal group when I had my first child?! 9 years later, as a random group of people, we have yet to produce a girl!

persimmon Sat 06-Jul-13 12:56:44

Anecdotally, I think there may be something in the theory that some women are more likely to conceive a certain sex. There are a lot of boys in my family, more than you'd expect, whereas my friend's family haven't produced a boy in several generations.

thetrackisback Sat 06-Jul-13 12:59:10

Dr Miriam Stoppard gives advicev in her pregnancy book about this subject so if the midwife is nuts so dr Miriam!

I'm not sure it is actually 50:50 - I think there are usually genetic factors at play - but I certainly don't think there is a surefire way to determine sex and it is incredibly unprofessional of the midwife to suggest there is.

5madthings Sat 06-Jul-13 13:02:42

I have heard the male sperm swim faster, girl sperm live longer thing.

We have four boys and one girl and didn't do anything different, and I have been asked by people if we did!

Anecdotally I also donated eggs and my recipient had twin boys, so maybe my eggs are more receptive to male sperm?

thetrack Dr Miriam Stoppard trained as a dermatologist so yes, probably nuts..

Hey OxfordBags I know it's not an exact science ! But boys may tend to be conceived closer to ovulation than girls (as apparently the XX for girls survives longer but is slower than the super speedy but more quickly exhausted XY sperm for a boy) No stamina these boys right from the off grin

I know it's mainly old wives stuff but I pretty much am an old wife these days, and I'm only chatting on an internet forum. But fair enough if slightly before ovulation is more likely to work for a boy (if that's what you want) than slightly afterwards.

CajaDeLaMemoria Sat 06-Jul-13 13:22:00

My mum tried desperately to conceive a boy.

She tried diets, specialists who claimed to be able to help, positions, timing sex, just about everything.

She got girls continuously, one after the other.

It's like poker. You can put your lucky pants on and try any one of a number of techniques, but in the end it's down to luck.

ChickenLickenSticken Sat 06-Jul-13 13:33:13

Thanks all.

I've stocked up on strawberry lollipops, put fake tan on one leg, located an elm tree in the garden and perfected my bark. Just need that damn full moon and we should be cooking with boy gas.

Joking aside, we're starting to think about our second baby and will ultimately be delighted if I fall pregnant. The gender is irrelevant really. Either would be just super. Maybe I'll resurrect this thread if / when dc2 has arrived and let you all know!

MummyDuckAndDuckling Sat 06-Jul-13 13:41:43

I conceived dd by having sex about 5 days before I was due to ovulate. Was the only time that month we had sex. He does also come from a family of girls (4 sisters) so maybe just more likely. I do believe some what about the timing thing though

LippyDiDooDah Sat 06-Jul-13 13:48:36

DH is one of 5 boys. His brothers have all had girls except one who had twin boy/girl so no rhyme or reason to that theory visualiseahorse grin

I heard that a girls heartbeat was faster and a boys slower so opposite to what you heard bogeyface and DD was 140bpm so we guessed she must be a girl and obviously she was but it may just be coincidence smile

You get what you're given and every baby is a miracle.

LippyDiDooDah Sat 06-Jul-13 13:50:10

Oooh yes, I conceived DD 3 days before ovulation too so there could be some truth in it or it could just have been luck...

WinkyWinkola Sat 06-Jul-13 14:00:01

But then there's the O+12 method which claims high success to get a girl.

You have sex immediately after or within 12 hours of ovulation after having abstained for a week.

I know two women who have used this method a d each got two dds. Plus vinegar douches. Dead scientific, I know! hmm

SuffolkNWhat Sat 06-Jul-13 14:04:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject Sat 06-Jul-13 14:08:14

There slightly more boys are born (104 to 100), slightly more die young so it all evens up. This is the only vague justification for what she is saying but she has babbled it up so badly, it is shocking.

find someone who understands basic maths and basic science.

Interesting Winky about the vinegar douches and also from what you said Suffolk ....

Think the acid/alkali balance in vaginal environment could also make a difference (from what I've heard) But I don't know much about it - there's not been much on this thread relating to that yet.

Does anyone know more ? From what you said is it slightly more acidic environment favouring girls, alkali for boys Winky ? (Take care everyone - go gently !)

BTW I know there's probably little you can do about it, but I'm all for the sharing of knowledge (Knowledge is power in our lives in general smile)
Though I know this can be a somewhat contentious area, as sadly around the world girls and boys not always equally valued by society.

Apparently the father eating steak, salt, and drinking full fat coke helps make boys.. df does this anyway so when we fell with ds it was 'woo' but he's carried on doing it and I'm due dd2 in 5 weeks grin

It's all bat shit.

doing it doggy is meant to help make boys too but that's disturbing really int it

Can I make this bid for pedant of the week ?

"Full fat coke" - surely whether reduced sugar or regular version there's little fat in fizzy drinks ? hmm

(just like a raised eyebrow, not really sceptical as such !)

ClartyCarol Sat 06-Jul-13 16:27:51

It's a common nickname for regular non-diet Coke.

So the acid fanjo - do we think that would correspond with gusset bleaching? We have three dds, and I have bleached some gussets in my time. Also, dh is a bit older, and a smoker which I've read can influence gender as the male sperm are more vulnerable to the effects of smoking. So, all in all, it was probably a knocking bet we wouldn't make a boy.

Tiredemma Sat 06-Jul-13 16:32:19


Christmas 1999 I had sex. Nothing 'outstanding' just a general night of sex.

DS1 born Sept 16th 2000

Christmas 2012 I had sex. Again, nothing outstanding.

DD1 due Sept 16th this year.

you may think that I only have sex at christmas from this- what I'm trying to say is clearly its just 50/50 chance either way.

I'm a gusset bleacher, one DS over here.

Conceived all three DSs (that is, the two noisy ones and the one currently gestating who waggled himself at the sonographer) on ovulation day.

Out of interest, tried to avoid ovulation day to see if I could actually make a girl - cue month after month of bfn...

ClartyCarol Sat 06-Jul-13 16:35:18

Tiredemma - let's hope your dh doesn't read that post; we get the message, the sex is nothing outstanding wink grin.

Ashoething Sat 06-Jul-13 16:40:42

When ttc I had sex on the day of ovulation-the 4 times we did this we conceived 4 boys.Then we dtd 2 days prior to ovulation and conceived a dd.So I think there is some truth in the slow/fast swimmers thing.

Tiredemma Sat 06-Jul-13 16:42:30

ha ha ha. Ive ballsed up here. By trying to indicate that there is no specific 'flair' of sex for each gender I have clearly given a huge hint that sex in my house is 'uninspiring'.

poor DP. Lets hope he never works out how to log onto the pc!!

Ashoething Sat 06-Jul-13 16:58:24

When ttc I had sex on the day of ovulation-the 4 times we did this we conceived 4 boys.Then we dtd 2 days prior to ovulation and conceived a dd.So I think there is some truth in the slow/fast swimmers thing.

catabouttown Sat 06-Jul-13 17:30:07

Everything you hear about the timing of sex and boy sperm swimming faster but being less robust is all based on the shettles method of conception which was made in the 70s and has since been proven to be complete rubbish!!

He observed there were 2 types of sperm and that the larger more rounded of the 2 must be the female because the X chromosome is bigger - that is true but the difference is still impossible to see without crazy powerful microscopes and even then experts still get it wrong!!

The 2 different sizes of the sorry are to do with a process that happens during ejaculation and it is only the ones that go through that process that are able to fertilise an egg, the others are essentially failed sperm and so the visual difference is nothing at all to do with the sex!!

morethanpotatoprints Sat 06-Jul-13 17:35:02

I'm sure if there was some magical thing you could do, besides having sex, the loony mid wife would have sold her knowledge for millions. She was probably being tongue in cheek.
I think its sad that a couple would try for a preferred sex, more important to hope all is well imo.

juggling it's not something I've ever said in real life but I see it a lot on here - it bothers me too grin saved explaining which coke i meant although to me if someone says coke they mean flipping coke same with diet etc... I shall join you in pedantry wink

SplitHeadGirl Sat 06-Jul-13 22:51:31

Don't be beautiful. Apparently the prettier you are the more likely you are to have girls.

(Really...this is based on studies - but still it is a ridiculous answer to a ridiculous question!!)

MummyDuckAndDuckling Sat 06-Jul-13 23:08:29

I want to make it clear I wasn't trying for either sex, dd was a 'happy accident'. Just when trying to work out my dates, there was only the one night out of the whole month that we done it and I noticed it was very early on in the month, days before I ovulated (always know when I do)

ClartyCarol Sat 06-Jul-13 23:49:30

Ha, I like the beautiful theory - I must be drop dead gorgeous in that case wink.

Thisvehicleisreversing Sat 06-Jul-13 23:52:30

I heard that men with high testosterone are more likely to give you boys. You can tell a guy with high testosterone by the bald head and muchos body hair grin

<disclaimer: I saw this on a naff channel 4 programme so may not be true>

<although my DH is bald with lots of body hair and we have 2 boys so...>

Wuldric Sat 06-Jul-13 23:52:48

You have to be performing a handstand during sex to ensure conception of a boy. Bit taxing on the shoulder muscles, but easier if you do your handstand against a handy wall


Thisvehicleisreversing Sat 06-Jul-13 23:55:47

SplitHeadGirl I heard the opposite. That if you're beautiful you're less likely to have girls as they would be competition for food and shelter.

lurcherlover Sun 07-Jul-13 00:03:14

There is a theory that the two sexes of sperm have preferences for an acid/alkali environment, so that some women are naturally more "hospitable" to boy sperm and vice versa. I think it's bollocks, given how many women have both boy and girl children. Let's face it, in the old days when women typically had ten or so children, they pretty much all ended up with a mixed batch - you hear of the occasional family of 12 girls or whatever, but it's bloody rare. The truth is, if we all had loads of babies, virtually all of us would end up with a mix, but because most families stop at 2 or 3 kids these days, they don't always have enough "goes" to produce both boys and girls.

I did read another theory that if you don't eat much in the way of breakfast and have a generally low-cal diet you're more likely to have girls, but if you have breakfast and a higher-cal diet you'll get boys. Given that Victoria Beckham has three boys I think this is unlikely!

acheekyvimto Sun 07-Jul-13 00:09:45

As others have sex, DS must have been conceived around 4 days before ovulation (the joys of a 12 month old) and DD2 about ovulation.

Every 2 day suffices and the sex of a child is a lottery.

ClartyCarol Sun 07-Jul-13 00:18:11

Gah, now I'm a minger.

WinkyWinkola Sun 07-Jul-13 07:17:51

Assuming a woman's PH is the same all time, lurcherlover.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Sun 07-Jul-13 07:36:32

How the hell does she know this given that she only gets involved "after the event" ? Is she usually in the room at conception shouting "left a, no, right a bit...ok. go.....pump, pump, pump !"

Good luck with the wee boy if that's what you want grin

Kafri Sun 07-Jul-13 07:47:35


I had IVF with ICSI where they pick out the best quality egg and sperm and inject the sperm directly into the egg. (For medical reasons, not for some mad woman, choose the sex, hair colour, personality of baby beforehand) and it was still a 50/50.

I'm firmly in the camp of you have a baby and love whatever sex appears.

PS your MW sounds potty and rather than ringing the docs to ask her advice on having a boy, I'd be ringing asking for a different MW
visions of her telling you to cast a spell of protected sex on Tuesday lunchtime followed by chips and egg for tea then unprotected sex on Wednesday, no later than 6pm and hey Presto - pregnant and it's a boy

Dinosaurdrip Sun 07-Jul-13 08:25:18

I was told that if you orgasm while having sex this produces a good environment for boy sperm and if you don't that more girl sperm will survive.

I have 2 DS, ds2 was conceived on day 14 of a 28 day cycle (i know this because we only had sex once that month) and when ttc dc3 after a mmc there were a few months where we were dtd 4 days before ov and me not 'enjoying' it so much (because I thought a girl would complete my family) silly i know! these months produced bfn after bfn.

I then took to picking DP up on his lunch break to rush him home for a quickie blush whenever we got the chance, right up to when I ovulated and there it was the longed for bfp. Dd1 was born so all theories were incorrect.

babysbreath Sun 07-Jul-13 08:30:11

If you want a boy, make sure your partner is not a pilot.

Most pilots have girls, as the sex ratio for non flying people is 50/50 and for fighter pilots it is a ratio of boys to girls of 38/62.

All to do with G force. wink

SuffolkNWhat Sun 07-Jul-13 14:30:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComposHat Sun 07-Jul-13 17:20:09

The only thing I have heard is that having sex 'doggy' style is more likely to produce boys. Not sure if it's true though'

Reminds me of the old joke: three pregnant women meet in a cafe. The first one says 'I'm having a boy because my husband was on top when we conceived.'

'Oh right' says the second woman 'we're having a girl because I was on top when we conceived.'

The third woman, looking anxious blurted out 'oh god I must be having puppies then.'

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