letting my kids have Facebook?

(145 Posts)
MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 20:42:08

I know this might be a bit controversial but I just want to know any rational arguments against kids having a facebook account.

My girls have had accounts from the age of 6. They have older sisters (my step daughters from their Dads first marriage) who live elsewhere and although we are all close as a family and see each other regularly, facebook was a fantastic way for the sisters to keep in touch. My eldests best friend moved miles away and she was able to keep in touch with him, share photos etc via Facebook, and they remain firm friends despite seeing each other once a year. Also, the amount of reading, typing, spelling etc involved in using FB is surely beneficial to literacy development?. Also, back in the day it stopped the kids from wreaking my work on Farm Town ;)

I know lots of people think that having kids on social networking leaves them vulnerable to all sorts of predatory people but I fail to see this if the necessary precautions are taken. My girls (at least when they were little) were told that they were not to add people. I added close friends and family to their accounts and sorted privacy so no one else could see their inane posts. MY friends and family have also been told to just block them if they become annoying. Also, my kids know that although they may read (and hear...quite often) swear words they are not to repeat them EVER!

Basically I just want to know what the massive problem is? Opinions please smile

I totally disagree with having social networking at that age.

It's a highly narcissistic pursuit and I don't think that children can understand all the ramifications at that age.

Even if you are careful about privacy settings you would have to monitor them every second they were on it. It's too easy to contact/be contacted by people you don't know. And the 'stranger danger' might not be as obvious as it's not a real life person.

They don't need it. If they want to play on a computer why not sign them up for Club Penguin or Moshi Monsters?

janowicz Fri 05-Jul-13 20:50:06

Adults should give children the opportunity to just be children. They can be attention whores and sell their soul to Mark Zuckerberg when they grow up.

MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 20:51:31

They did have Club Penguin and Moshi Monster too back in the day. i am genuinely curious about how children of an age where they do not leave the house without their parents can come to harm via a facebook account?

MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 20:55:20

They both desperately wanted accounts after seeing their big sisters (and me) on them. Do you remember the kids at school in the 80's who were not allowed to watch telly? I think that eventually the kids whose parents are afraid of technology will soon be their modern equivalent.

givemeaboost Fri 05-Jul-13 20:55:33

don't agree with this at all, mine are 8+9 and they wont be having accounts till theyre 13/14 if I can help it. its dangerous, especially with the fairly complex system fb uses ie privacy settings etc

they are many kids sites; moshi monsters, bin weevils, club penguin, minecraft....to name a few....far safer and for seeing family/friends pics etc, can they not just be shown by you on your account?

Honestly?

I know that some of it is scaremongering, but if somebody with a children's profile started chatting to your child on FB privately they might assume that it's just another child and someone that they can trust....

They could send them explicit messages or material. Scare the shit out of them. Threaten them. Bribe them. Threaten your family.

Not to mention the fact that it's highly addictive.

For me, there are no benefits for a CHILD having social networking. Let them be kids with other kids.

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 05-Jul-13 20:57:19

Facebook terms and conditions prohibit it.

That should be good enough

MummaEss- my DP and I are extremely technologically literate.... in fact, we are usually early adopters.

I think it's incredibly short sighted to compare television with the internet- a completely open sourced platform where anything goes.

givemeaboost Fri 05-Jul-13 20:58:51

are you seriously going to stand by them and watch them everytime they use it? if not then I would say its quite obvious it could be dangerous- whos knows who they might add to their friends lists-(fraudsters et all often use child cover as their account) and then whos looking at their pictures/information/ messaging them etc etc.........

HeySoulSister Fri 05-Jul-13 20:59:06

So you lied when you set up their accounts?

givemeaboost Fri 05-Jul-13 20:59:47

>>>bangs head against wall<<<< confused

janowicz Fri 05-Jul-13 21:01:09

There are lots of technologies that are beneficial for children. That doesn't mean they all are. There is little that Facebook will teach children that is good for them or can't be done better by some other means.

both mine had face book at about 11 I think, I had the password and monitored them, no problem with my son, my DD was adding random friends and I had to take her of it for a while, I think if you set it up and monitor it there is no problem.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Fri 05-Jul-13 21:01:24

It's not allowed by Facebook until they are 13...surely that should give you reason enough.

MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 21:01:30

People looking at pictures cant harm them though, anyone can legally take pictures of my children as they walk down the street. They are older now and to be honest I think they are far more vulnerable as teens than they were as primary kids.

janowicz Fri 05-Jul-13 21:02:40

In fact if you consider Facebook to be 'technology' you probably aren't very technology literate yourself.

givemeaboost Fri 05-Jul-13 21:03:00

well you seem to have already made your mind up that its right!

MummaEss, there are grown women on this site who have been linked to pages that they found incredibly disturbing.

What if you found out that your children had either been accessing of their own volition, or being sent pictures of dead bodies, of executions, of extreme sexual imagery, of diseases, of horror films etc etc etc?

I'm a hardened person but there's still things that I have stumbled across on the internet that can't be forgotten easily.... why would you even let there be a chance that it could happen to your child?

TobyLerone Fri 05-Jul-13 21:06:46

Also, the amount of reading, typing, spelling etc involved in using FB is surely beneficial to literacy development?

Hahahahahaa! Have you ever been on Facebook, OP?

ravenAK Fri 05-Jul-13 21:07:33

I'm with you OP - my older two (7 & 9) both have accounts, which they use to keep in touch with cousins etc.

I find it quite straightforward to monitor their accounts; I just log in as each of them every week or so & have a poke about. They aren't allowed to add friends or post pictures without checking with me/dh, & their profiles are set to private.

It hasn't proved addictive. In fact, both are healthily 'meh' about the whole thing, which means that they won't be bothering to set up unmonitored secret accounts, which pretty much every 11 year old whose parents think they've 'banned' them does...

givemeaboost Fri 05-Jul-13 21:07:53

mummaess- let me spell out to you what I mean, your dc has a sleepover say, with numerous other dcs, they take lots of pictures, most dcs post their pictures on fb, they tag each other into the pics, the dcs all have different privacy settings, your dcs pics may only be viewable to HER friends, but when others are tagged in, it depends on who they let see their pictures-they may be friends/ friends of friends or public, so a innocent phoot your dc posts between friends could v easily become publically viewable.

is that understandable or even more confusing? ^^

Dixiefish Fri 05-Jul-13 21:08:06

Come to that, how do you know the little kids they're swapping pretty dull messages with on Moshi Monsters are actually little kids?

McFarts Fri 05-Jul-13 21:08:20

Sorry i think youre insane! i actually think the age should be upped to 16, FB cause so many problems!!

Why can they keep intouch with their friends and family via email?

mayoandchips Fri 05-Jul-13 21:08:56

shocked that you have given 6 year olds facebook accounts! There is an age minimum for a reason.

You have basically just given them ammunition for when they are older to argue when they ask for something else non-age appropriate- 'Yeah but I had a facebook account when I was 6, why not this'.

And to think when I was six my biggest concern was whether I would ever have my stabilisers taken off my bike. Let kids be kids.

You tell your kids to not repeat swearwords. If you are aware this could be a problem why put them in a situation where they are faced with this content? You're meant to protect them.

McBalls Fri 05-Jul-13 21:09:26

It wouldn't be the risk of predatory strangers that'd stop me allowing dc to be on facebook.
It'd be my opinion that it seems to encourage a way of viewing, and ineracting with, the world that is fucked up.
Needy, gauche, self-obsessed...
Also, I honestly believe in 10,15 years time young people will howl at our generation for the tacky over-sharing.

WaitMonkey Fri 05-Jul-13 21:11:21

Why can't they just email/write their sisters/friends ? As a pp has already said Facebook does not allow children of that age to have an account. Think It's an unwise decision to be honest. My dc wouldn't know what Facebook was, similar age to yours. And I don't remember children in the 80's not being allowed to watch tv. hmm Totally different anyway Imo.

MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 21:11:46

I dont think my Mum or Nan or either of my girls sisters are likely to send them disturbing images and if you have the privacy right them neither can random members of society.

I am glad to see that some people agree with em on this one. I am genuinely interested in the reasons people disagree though....

MummaEss, you might want to actually look at FB there is no way to stop messages coming into your 'Other' folder.

ravenAK Fri 05-Jul-13 21:13:33

Incidentally, the age limit is there because if FB openly allowed U13s to set up accounts, all sorts of data protection constraints kick in, which aren't worth their while.

It's not a legal age limit. It's not even something like BFI classifications. It's a commercial decision taken by a commercial company to cover their arse legally.

They really don't care how old their customers actually are!

Badvoc Fri 05-Jul-13 21:15:01

There is texting and e mail which is as instantaneous as FB.
I simply do not understand the mindset that 6 year olds need to be on social networking sites.

MrsOakenshield Fri 05-Jul-13 21:15:17

why can't you use Flickr to send pictures? And Skype to video call them? I don't like it, and be prepared, once they get a few more friends, so see a load of bad language on it - children are not meant to be on FB, and if I want to post that I've had a fucking shit day (or whatever, I wouldn't actually post something that dull), too bad if there are any kids reading it, they shouldn't be.

Badvoc Fri 05-Jul-13 21:15:40

....oh and if they mention it to school I imagine you will get a letter/phone call as you are contravening FB rules.

You're right Raven. FB don't care about who their customers are. This is why there are THOUSANDS of misogynistic, sexist, defamatory and all out disgusting pages and groups on there.

They are easy to access, you don't even have to 'like' them to see the content.

I would not want me U13 reading through a group called 'Slags That Want Banged' or "No Is Another Word For Yes".

FlightsOfWhimsy Fri 05-Jul-13 21:17:23

Absolutely wouldn't ever let a child that young have a FB account. My 7yo isn't even allowed unsupervised internet use at all.

They don't have the knowledge or judgement to see what is or isn't safe and there's a whole heap of dangers from sharing information, cyber bullying and god knows what else.

My DCs network by going to play with people. Bonkers.

HeySoulSister Fri 05-Jul-13 21:21:37

Neglectful parenting really

MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 21:24:08

Oh dear oh dear. My kids do play out and do all the things kids should do. They did not have unrestricted access to the internet when they were little and enjoyed conversing with friends and family.

As I said earlier, I feel a lot more worried about safeguarding issues now that the girls are legitimately old enough to have an account and are out and about on their own. When they were 6 they would not be able to go and meet strangers at the park. Now, who knows. In fact I am as confident that mine wont as any of us can be but they are a damn sight more likely to now than when they were at primary.

teetering13 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:24:16

Yes, my 8 year old has a facebook account. Monitored, no friends apart from me and 2 other family members ... we are hidden on it. He plays candy crush.

It's no problem if you know exactly how it works ... many facebook users don't though, they assume it's all public or anyone can search for you or message you .. you can set it up pretty much in lock down mode, and if that's the case then no problem. Would he be on it if I didn't have total control? ... nope

CSIJanner Fri 05-Jul-13 21:25:39

My DH does a lot of work with CEOP. He say YABFU and that the accounts should be reported and closed - he says that you wouldn't want to see/hear some of the cases that just start with FB online.

Can you honestly say you have completely locked down their accounts when even grown adults have to recheck their settings every month or so? If you really wanted or them to work on their spelling and English, you could have bought them a writing set. That's what email/FB was called before it was invented. Or skype even, so you can interct in the conversation. Children are not old enough to understand the consequences of what they post online. Do also let them watch 18 horror movies? There are age limits for a reason.

MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 21:26:47

Teetering, thankyou! Someone who actually knows about Facebook and not just assuming they do smile Xxx

McBalls Fri 05-Jul-13 21:27:36

Arf

givemeaboost Fri 05-Jul-13 21:27:40

As someone else said upthread- you cannot control "other" messages so that ^^ is incorrect

FlightsOfWhimsy Fri 05-Jul-13 21:28:31

they didn't have unrestricted access to the internet when they were little

6 years old is little you numpty.

Jengnr Fri 05-Jul-13 21:32:19

I don't really see a problem tbh, as you as you're putting in the time to monitor them. That's true of all their internet activity.

Although there is the extreme danger of a picture getting shared and a stranger clutches pearls seeing your child OMG!!!

givemeaboost Fri 05-Jul-13 21:32:23

Methinks you started this for a bunfight. you clearly think youre in the right and others are wrong. well we have our opinions, you have yours, we are trying to make sure our dcs are 100% safe online, its up to you if you don't realise/understand the consequences of social media use at such a young age

Just out of interest MummaEss, would you consider yourself technologically literate?

givemeaboost Fri 05-Jul-13 21:34:08

jengnr- how is that not a problem!?
I for example came across a teenage nieces pictures of them all in onsies, they weren't rude pics as such but were imo opinion questionable in the wrong hands

teetering13 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:34:37

You can control who messages you

ravenAK Fri 05-Jul-13 21:34:49

There are indeed some pretty grim pages/groups mrscumberbatch.

I'm reasonably sure that my 9 & 7 yos won't be actively looking to access them (& in the three years ds has had his account, he's never yet had anything like that shoved under his nose by his extremely limited, vetted by me friend list).

When they inevitably do come across something unpleasant, probably shared by one of their peers, they'll be able to ignore it or tell me about it. Kids who are banned from using FB - but have accounts anyway - are in a really awkward position when stuff like that happens, & can find it really distressing.

Tbh, I'd be worrying much, much more about newer social media like snapchat or chatroulette. FB is relatively easy to monitor as a parent.

MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 21:35:01

No no they were supervised at 6!! I didnt log them in and leave them to it! Also, I have only just discovered the 'other messages' folder this year, after being a member since 2007.

MrsBeep Fri 05-Jul-13 21:36:21

Even with the privacy settings on the highest, there are 'groups' on Facebook that your children could stumble upon which are highly inappropriate. And how would you control what they click on? They could click on a colourful and attractive ad for a game which is not appropriate for their age or one of the ads at the side that takes them to a website where they could accidentally download something to your computer that you don't want.

I don't see the upside.

MummaEss Fri 05-Jul-13 21:36:46

RavenAK I agree. I find Snapchat very worrying. My 13 yr old came across it and it seems like trouble :S

Teetering, that is incorrect. All messages sent to yourself via persons unknown go into your 'Other' Folder in your facebook mailbox.

teetering13 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:39:39

but if you have your privacy settings set to 'only friends' can message you then only friends can message you

ravenak, I think you're quite on the ball, and definitely not making ridiculous assumptions like MummaEss... but when your children inevitably do come across something unpleasant.... what if it's so awful that even if they tell you it's distressing?

There's pictures of decapitations, autopsies, rotting bodies etc. Some kids have a rank sense of humour.

MummaEss, if you've only just discovered the 'other messages' folder I don't think it would be fair for you to assume that you understand how this website functions.

Teetering- this is copy and pasted from Facebook itself:

Messages that are filtered out of your inbox will appear in your Other folder. If a message you're not interested in gets delivered to your inbox, select Move to Other from the Actions menu.

Keep in mind, anyone on Facebook can send you a message, and anyone can email you at your Facebook email address.

BackforGood Fri 05-Jul-13 21:44:44

You say they are friends with older sisters who live elsewhere?
I'm thinking they might be teens?
I don't think that a lot of what teens post and link to is something I would have wanted my 6 yr old to be reading. At 6, mine could e-mail relatives, and those relatives would reply, remembering they are writing to a 6 yr old. When they post on FB though, they are not, at that point, posting just to your 6 yr old.

Jengnr Fri 05-Jul-13 21:44:51

givemeaboost How is it a problem?

What can the 'wrong hands' actually do?

And aren't onesies about the most modest (albeit terrible) item of clothing ever? What could be inappropriate about that?

ravenAK Fri 05-Jul-13 21:46:53

Also, my dc use my laptop in the dining room. I sit marking books at the other side of the table.

'What are you up to ds?'
'Sending Uncle Fred a PM to say thanks for the birthday money'

...is fairly typical of their FB interactions.

They don't use a PC unsupervised at all.

A much more troubling scenario is the 11 yo who's been bought a new Smartphone for secondary school, & whose parents are genuinely shocked when I or one of my colleagues ring them to let them know about the bullying their little innocent is up to his/her neck in. 'Oh no, we don't allow her on FB!'. Honestly, if I had a tenner for every time I've had that conversation, the kids could have a laptop of their own!

Raum Fri 05-Jul-13 21:46:56

Stick to the age limits on sites like this and on video games, your kids won't like it but it is in their best interest. No need for kids to have Facebook that young..

teetering13 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:47:09

Have a look in your privacy settings at who can message you, that ^^ may have something to do with what you have it set to

.. I have set my sons to 'only friends' can message him ... If I look at his profile in a 'view as public' mode, there is no option to message him

Awizardsstaffhasaknobontheend Fri 05-Jul-13 21:47:25

Ok, so she has an account set up for her 7 years early. Which means when she is 11 the account setting are going to think she is 18 and she will have access to any 18 related stuff there. You cant go back at a later date and change the account age, just shut it down. Will you remember to do this? Unlikely. You may be able to control who she friends now but as she gets older she will pick her own. We had a talk from my daughters school a couple of months ago and it really hit home to me how much "fun" on social networks can turn really nasty when the children don't have the maturity to handle it. Would you let your child walk up to complete strangers in the street and chat without you there? If not then they shouldn't be on Facebook.
Your child, your choice but I think you potenially making a serious error.

ravenAK Fri 05-Jul-13 21:49:42

mrscumberbatch - yes, I get (& share) the concern about gruesome content. But again - the most likely way they'll see that sort of thing is in a couple of years & on a classmate's phone, sadly.

In itself it's not reason enough for me to shut down their supervised internet access.

ravenak, I totally agree that smartphones etc are also an issue and perhaps your monitoring of your DC works for you.....

But it's impossible to ignore the FB horror stories involving minors and young teenagers that crop up repeatedly and we can't assume that every parent is as stringent as yourself with regards to their child's wellbeing.

I would rather adopt a strict- Nobody under 16 should be on it for their mental health rather than make exceptions for mature children (as then any lacklustre parent will use that as an excuse for their offspring having an account from age 6- "Oh but she's MATURE!").

specialsubject Fri 05-Jul-13 21:51:21

you'd better check they haven't entered their full address, phone number and date of birth, and aren't happily telling the world when they are going on holiday.

or posted pictures including identifiable details. Or can be googled by name to find all this stuff.

Just to specify- I have no issues with children having supervised internet access. I have issues with children being on FB.

Redbindy Fri 05-Jul-13 21:53:02

Let your kids loose on the internet. It saves actually looking after them.

gandalfcat Fri 05-Jul-13 21:53:09

My DS is 13 but had decided not to have an account as he says it is normally the cause/route of most squabbles/bullying/teasing/teen-drama and he just doesn't want a part of it - I think he is probably displaying a more sensible/mature attitude than the OP!

yegodsandlittlefishes Fri 05-Jul-13 21:54:45

Facebook's terms of use are that everyone has to be over 13. If you allow your children to use it before they are 13, you are paving the way to need to justify why there is a legal age limit for alcohol, sex, films/DVDs, driving and so on.

You may not be aware, but there's a very big problem in this country with children sending naked pictures of one another, and sharing them, and the images are getting into the hands of paedophiles. You might think your sweet 8 yo wouldn't do something like that, but they do, not realising what it is they are doing (or knowing it's illegal).

If they grow up with access to a laptop/computer and facebook, make sure you have 'net nanny' on all devices, including smart phones!

antimatter Fri 05-Jul-13 21:54:57

you mut have lied about their age then - if someone's under 13 FB won't allow to register

LookingForwardToMarch Fri 05-Jul-13 21:56:17

There are many other ways for them to keep in touch with family.

Facebook for 6 year olds, seriously?

Their privacy settings are a joke.

fuzzpig Fri 05-Jul-13 22:00:36

Blimey my 6yo DD has only been on the internet at home, erm... about 5 times, when she has typed an artist name into google to see their paintings (school topic) and that sort of thing! Behind the times, clearly, and probably doomed in terms of future career prospects for lack of technological knowledge... hmm

ravenAK Fri 05-Jul-13 22:01:21

But as you say mrscumberbatch, the horror stories tend to involve young teens (who are far more likely to seek out dodgy content, or to be flattered by a stranger's interest) - not younger kids.

I believe that teenagers are going to be safer online if, by the time we can't realistically control their use of the internet (say about 11 or 12), they are thoroughly au fait with e-safety, having become confident internet users before their teens & under fairly close supervision.

You might like to ban FB for U16s, but it ain't going to happen, & frankly, FB is the equivalent of a paddling pool when it comes to social media these days, once you start looking at some of the 'high dive area' alternatives...

PoppyAmex Fri 05-Jul-13 22:03:54

you're putting your trust in the hands of one of the most amoral organisations on the Internet.

Not to mention their privacy settings change almost monthly and are a joke.

Will agree to disagree Raven, websites like 4chan or Reddit have a reputation for being full of dodgy content but there's a large percentage of that content originates from facebook.

The education of children and the internet is a bit of a minefield at the moment as it didn't really explode in popularity till the late 90's so there doesn't seem to be a coherent education plan in place, it's mostly left up to parents and unfortunately a lot of parents don't understand the internet either.

My own DD is 3 and can find her way around a computer, it's going to be so important for current and future generations to be tech-savvy.... but even as an ardent supporter of non-censorship etc I worry.

FoundAChopinLizt Fri 05-Jul-13 22:28:31

None of my dcs have ever shown any interest in it. I am not interested in joining either. I find it depressing that little children are encouraged to use it.

TheFallenNinja Fri 05-Jul-13 22:28:43

To be fair the OP is just trying to justify her position. Fair play.

I await the AIBU where she describes the horrible stuff her child has found on Facebook and how it's anyone's fault but her own.

Facebook for kids as young as 6 is sheer lunacy! I am pretty laid back at most things but why on earth would you let a six year old on a social network site......and who would want a six year old on there as a friend.

Still I suppose cyber bullying and all that.....start em young and toughen them up shock

mummymeister Fri 05-Jul-13 23:06:30

a couple of issues here. one you lied to set up their account. how are you going to counter them in future when they lie to you, you tell them off and they come back with "yeah and you lied to set up our facebook". if you believe that age limits don't apply to your kids then will this be the case for alcohol, sex, driving etc as they get older. after all having a drink at 12 wont harm them will it OP!! or smoking perhaps. the age limit on fb is there for a reason. you might control what they do at home but mobile devices have the internet, they could log on anywhere and see who knows what and yes viewing vile images on the internet does have a damaging effect but probably again this is a "rule" you don't agree with so will choose to ignore. sorry but I just get completely incensed by parents like you. as fallenNinja says I am waiting for your next post in a couple of years. want to keep in touch with their cousins - a telephone, a letter or post card a visit. it doesn't have to be fb really does it.

GiveItYourBestShot Fri 05-Jul-13 23:28:03

OP is wrong about messaging. Non-friends can message - this from "Learn More about message filtering": "Additionally, someone you're not connected to on Facebook may pay to ensure their message is routed to your inbox instead of your Other folder."

painforlife Fri 05-Jul-13 23:38:19

sorry OP but I agree with all that say it is absurd that u would allow a 6 yr old to use FB!!! as already said there are other ways of communication that will work just as well. I doubt even you yourself believe the bit about it being developmental for literary. I really think you should use this thread as a wake up call & immediately de activate your kids FB accounts.

ravenAK Fri 05-Jul-13 23:42:56

Well, I'm not the OP, but in answer to your point re: lying about ages on FB, mummymeister - the absolute first thing I taught my dc about the internet was 'Only a total berk gives out genuine personal info over t'internet. Unless it is clearly unavoidable & in your own interest, eg. you need your DVD delivered to the right address.'

Honestly. If you set up a FB/hotmail/MN account, obviously you fill in a right load of old guff, false DOB included, for the data harvesters. Basic websense.

Equally, I allow some 12 certificate films & don't allow some PGs or indeed Us, for that matter. So that's also me overruling an age restriction. Not convinced that this opens the floodgates to underage drinking, say, - we'll deal with that one on its own merits as it arises.

Re: the point about mobile devices having the internet - yes, & that is precisely why you can't prevent your dc having accounts on FB & other social media sites, the minute you allow them unsupervised access via a phone or a friend's house. It takes approximately 5 minutes to set up that account.

I don't think that the answer to that one is to forbid the use of FB extra, yet cheerfully hand over the latest thing in phone/tablet to a child who has been taught bugger all about e-safety. & yet every year, as a KS3 form tutor, I deal with the fallout from parents complacently assuming that their child isn't using social media because they've been told they are Not Allowed On It.

Burmillababe Fri 05-Jul-13 23:43:49

Its against the rules for a start!! YABvvvU!

As an adult user of FB, it also pisses me right off that there are young children in what should be an adult space. Content is shared and issues discussed which is simply not suitable for young DC. I'm not necessarily talking about porn, but things to do with animal cruelty say, or news stories, or events in other people's lives such as bereavement, child illnesses, etc. We have age appropriate segregation of things for very good reasons - to protect DC and to ensure adults can also discuss things without worrying about inadvertently frightening or upsetting a child. To me it's like the difference between John Craven's newsround - news presented in an appropriate way for young DC - and Newsnight - clearly aimed at an adult audience and will occasionally have content/footage that won't be suitable for young DC.

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 07:08:51

Actually OP a lovely reminder if the privacy settings fail this morning.

An abusuve ex of mine has had various profiles he has made up blocked.

Including one where he was my niece. He viewed her profile, copied her info and copied her pictures. It looked authentic, I as an adult couldn't tell.

He then proceeded to send a friend request with a message attatched saying that my niece had gotten locked out of her account and made a new one.

Ended up with alot of abuse sent before I could remove him.

Just pointing out it is entirely possible for someone to imitate your childrens friends or family and get on their facebook.

Also the bugger keeps making new profiles and sending messages on them, often through friend requests.

It us entirely possible for your children to be harassed in this way.

(Nasty message when I woke up this morning jigged my memory)

alcazar Sat 06-Jul-13 07:43:51

Ok my main concern would be this: Severeal times on facebook, I have seen some god awful things that friends of mine have commented on. As the pictures had no privacy settings, they came up on my newsfeed. One was of a child being genetically mutilated, one was of a man who had fallen from a great height and had split his whole head in half (obviously dead), another was a video of child porn. The comments said "I have reported this, how disgusting etc," however by commenting it made the video/ pic available to me and all their friends, albeit unintentionally. If your dd has any facebook friends there is no way you can stop this happening and once they have seen such images they will stick with them forever, even if you are there.

I waited until DS1 was 13, for many of the reasons outlined above.

Within a month, a porn video appeared on his newsfeed (because a friend had commented on it to say it was unnecessary and offensive).

The same week, he had a racist meme appear on his newsfeed (for the same reason).

We had to go through each friend individually and turn off the facility that shows their comments on his newsfeed.

Part of the conditions of him being allowed Facebook are that we will know his current password until he is 16 and will be viewing his account regularly. He has posted nothing that worries me and he keeps on top of his privacy settings. I can't say the same for some of his friends.

MrsRandom78 Sat 06-Jul-13 08:03:01

CEOP's (child exploitation and online protection) view is that fb is not a safe environment for those under 13, supervised or not. But your kids your choice - not sure I'd ignore industry experts if it was me tho...

Hmm it all depends on whether you are prepared to monitor & supervise them at all times whilst using it?
My dd is 10yo, she has asked to go on fb, but i won't allow because she isn't 13, nor can i supervise at all times as i have other dc.

One of my closet friends allowed her dd 12yo to use fb, it ended in disaster. Her dd was found to be chatting to someone who was thought to be a young lad, she was even seconds away from meeting him alone but luckily her best friend stopped her. Later on my friend looked at her messages, they were explicit and very rude & my friend called the police. The 'boy' turned out to be a middle aged man who was grooming her through private message. Needless to say her dd is not allowed access to fb anymore.
If she had gone to meet him, it doesn't bare thinking about.
Let this be a warning

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 08:12:23

Op has gone.

Think she may have just wanted people to congratulate her on being uber modern.

See my situation upthread op, privacy settings don't mean squat on facebook if someone decides to target you.

Putting your very young kids online and maybe at risk...

How sensible.

Kafri Sat 06-Jul-13 08:14:43

Part of the terms and conditions of FB are that you will not use it under the age of 13.
Yes I have read scanned them for work purposes. Thankfully this meant that I was being paid to read through them.

So, on that criteria alone YABU.

imademarion Sat 06-Jul-13 08:17:46

Do you remember the kids at school in the 80's who were not allowed to watch telly?

What exactly was your point here? That you gave them FB at 6 to avoid them feeling left out at school? Surely every child in their class is not on FB too?

There are better ways to build a child's self-esteem than allowing them access to social networking that, even if technically competent, they are woefully emotionally and socially under-equipped to manage.

If they want to keep in touch with family, email or a lovely old-fashioned letter is far safer at that age.

We didn't have TV in the 80s btw. It certainly hasn't held me back socially or career wise. And I've never felt the need to overcompensate by exposing my DC to inappropriate forms of social media.

And not only is there grooming at play on fb, but also bullying, don't forget it is the perfect place for bullies to harrass and distress their victim.

Kiwiinkits Sat 06-Jul-13 08:38:45

I think it is entirely wrong for your children to be on FB, simply for this reason. The rule is that they have to be 13+. Kids talk to each other and will soon know that mummy broke the rules for them. You've basically showed them that rules are not to be respected. Good luck telling them they're not allowed to play CarCrashViolentXXX video games or buy alcohol until they're 18. You parent by your actions and your actions are saying they can flaunt the rules and you don't mind at all.

Nanny0gg Sat 06-Jul-13 08:41:27

I don't understand parents who say that it's ok for their underage children to have FB accounts 'because we monitor them and check weekly (or whatever).

Isn't that locking the stable door after the horse has bolted? Unless you're watching their every move on there it can easily be too late to stop inappropriate/offensive stuff appearing.

If you want to improve their literacy skills (LOL) e-mail and pen and paper works very well.

Kiwiinkits Sat 06-Jul-13 08:42:39

Oh. MummyMeister said it before me.

thegreylady Sat 06-Jul-13 08:48:16

My older grandchildren were only allowed accounts on condition they added me as a friend! They had to wait till 12/13 though. I don't think the little ones have even heard of facebook-they are 4 and 6.

D0oinMeCleanin Sat 06-Jul-13 09:01:46

My 10yo has FB to keep in touch with her aunt and see pictures of her baby cousin.

We set it up because we were sick of her using our accounts to send "Call Me Maybe" lyrics in various languages to her aunt.

Her privacy settings are as high as they can be. I check them weekly and log into her account every few days to see what she's been up to. The only incident we've had is when she commented on a picture another cousin had added asking people if her new dress made her look fat, dd1 replied "It's not the dress that makes you look fat. You should start doing running" blush I made her apologise and that was that.

Of course there is the things Scuttle commented on but it's a bit late to protect dd1 from child illness or bereavement, sadly she has lived through both of these first hand. She is acutely aware that small children can become ill and die or can lose their parents to illness, accidents, suicide sad. And I refuse to hide animal abuse from her. She does see it because it pops up on my news feed often. I am open and honest with her about it. She seems to handle it well. I never see child porn or any other kind of porn on my news feed. I used to occasionally but these people were promptly blocked by me.

Her account is used mainly to send me and her aunts pictures of things she "needs" us to buy her and to send pictures of her new dress/shoes to her friends and to share pictures of her baby cousin with her school friends.

Whathaveiforgottentoday Sat 06-Jul-13 09:08:13

So much bullying goes on thorough Facebook now I'd be dubious allowing it at 13 let alone 6.

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 09:20:45

The animal abuse pictures that occasionally pop up on my news feed make me feel sick, disturbed and stick in my head.

And I wouldn't describe myself as a sensitive adult.

To be honest the idea if a child having to process those pictures invokes the same feelings.

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 09:21:56

Idea *of a child

D0oinMeCleanin Sat 06-Jul-13 09:26:48

They don't go on her wall, she can only see them if she clicks on my name, which she occasionally does when we have no foster dog in, to see if we've been offered any.

She's just as likely to see them if she walks into the dining room while I am on FB. She asks questions sometimes, decides that some people should not be allowed to keep animals and then goes about the rest of her day.

Most of the pictures she sees are of dogs that have been neglected and we are able to find out which rescue is now dealing with the dog and how the dog is doing.

SoupDragon Sat 06-Jul-13 09:28:58

The animal abuse pictures that occasionally pop up on my news feed make me feel sick, disturbed and stick in my head.

I have never had anything inappropriate pop up on my news feed.

SoupDragon Sat 06-Jul-13 09:34:32

DSs had them from Y6 and Y4 respectively. Yes, I lied when signing them up but TBH, I couldn't give a stuff about that - the age changes depending on what country you are in anyway. They were locked down privacy wise, never posted photos, I knew their passwords, had full access and they were given strict instructions about who they could add - and I checked who they had added. This way I knew what they were doing and was able to monitor it rather than them setting up accounts on their own.

Now aged 14 & 12 they couldn't give stuff about FaceBook and don't use it.

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 09:36:58

Unfortunately I have, if a friends sees one and posts on it how disgusting it is or that they have reported it then it shows up on my facebook.

And photos of dogs that have previously been abused don't disturb me...

Apologies I thought you meant the ones that show severe injuries, decapitated animak heads etc.

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 09:39:04

But are their friends 'really' their friends?

Just curious, how do you check this?

Re: people stealing photos from peoples friends list and imitating them?

MorrisZapp Sat 06-Jul-13 09:42:24

I don't understand all the pearl clutching re Facebook, for adults or teens. All you need to do is make your page private, and only add people you want to. If people post crap or offensive stuff, just unfriend them.

I think 6 is probably too young, but in theory I can't see how they'd be at risk if they have known friends only and a private page. I've had FB for years, never had any issues at all.

It's only an issue if the whole world can see your page, surely.

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 09:47:56

Did you see my post re my ex?

My profile is on the highest privacy setting and I change it every month.

If someone is really determined to get to you they can.

Facebook has been having its 'privacy' settings questioned for years.

D0oinMeCleanin Sat 06-Jul-13 09:48:55

No, I'm a member of several rescue dog groups so I get pictures of starved or scarred dogs on my feed. We can check how the dog is now doing and/or assist with fundraising by donating money, toys etc. if the dog still needs funds, so dd1 gets to feel as if she is directly helping that dog (and in some cases she is, she has donated bits of her pocket money before and old teddies and blankets to rescues)

The worse she ever saw was a new born baby cow who had slipped through the bars of a milking line and into the gutter. She was disgusted that animals are treat like this just so we can process them for our own needs and stopped drinking milk for a while (she drank almond milk instead and didn't connect cheese and yoghurt with what she'd seen, so still got plenty of calcium)

Imo, children are the next generation of animal lovers/abusers. The earlier we educate them on how we actually get our food, treat our pets, the more likely we are to create a generation that is better than ours.

My children eat meat and dairy products, they have a right, imo, to know where that meat comes from and how it gets to our plate, so that they can decide for themselves if they want to eat it. Dd2 is semi vegetarian, she will only eat meat she doesn't yet associate with actual animals. She's never seen any of these pictures and does not have FB but she is told when she asks what she is eating and where it has come from and is given the option of not eating that product anymore.

Having being made aware of how others treat their pets helps them understand why they are never allowed a puppy and why they have to give up their foster dogs when they find a home to make space for the next dog who needs our help. They deal with all of this very well.

SoupDragon Sat 06-Jul-13 09:50:48

But are their friends 'really' their friends?

Just curious, how do you check this?

LOL - because I know who their friends are!

SoupDragon Sat 06-Jul-13 09:52:41

If someone is really determined to get to you they can.

In DSs case there are no wierdos trying to get to them.

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 09:54:27

Soup if you see them often then fine.

I was talking about parents who maybe just look at the friends list and think 'Yep I recognise that face/name' and move on.

katydid02 Sat 06-Jul-13 09:54:40

YABU. They have to be 13. You are teaching them that it is OK to ignore the rules.

LookingForwardToMarch Sat 06-Jul-13 09:56:47

That you know of

(Cue eerie music) grin

I'm not trying to say ALL children are in danger. Just pointing out that nothing is fail proof, certainly not on facebook.

teetering13 Sat 06-Jul-13 09:58:50

The way I see it, if you're on the ball .. clued up, computer savvy, responsible for your kids, have convos with your kids about the good and bad side of t'internet, ruler in your own house then yes, you can have fb for a child ...
If you need rules for your own good, aren't sure whats what, not computer savvy, wouldn't know how to explain to your child that it's ok to have fb with strict rules but not ok to get pissed then no, don't have it ...

Saying that, I wouldn't start a thread on here about it ... wouldn't care what anyone thought tbh

ilovexmastime Sat 06-Jul-13 10:06:22

I think if you're monitoring their usage properly then it's not that big a deal, and actually, Raven's point about teaching them to use it correctly whilst monitoring it is much better than having them sneak an account when they're 10/11.

ilovexmastime Sat 06-Jul-13 10:10:19

Also, am I the only person on FB never to have seen anything gruesome or disgusting? Not saying it's not there obviously, but some people seem to see loads and I've never seen any of it.

Eilidhbelle Sat 06-Jul-13 12:12:00

I don't really understand the point of having Facebook at 6. If they wanted to keep in touch with family etc then why not email? Then they're working on their 'literacy skills' but there's absolutely no danger. Or get them to read a book? I honestly don't get how Facebook solves any problems for you, if you really are having to spend all that time checking it and keeping up with the privacy changes.

SoupDragon Sat 06-Jul-13 12:31:24

Also, am I the only person on FB never to have seen anything gruesome or disgusting?

No, I haven't either. In my case, it's probably because I only have 14 very select friends.

cardibach Sat 06-Jul-13 13:29:14

Me neither, ilovexmastime. Again, probably because all my friends are ...well...friends, or family.
DD has had account since just before she was 13. She is 17 now and has not had any problem with bullying etc either - for the same reasons, I'm guessing.
I know there is horrible stuff on fb, and I know people do get bullied on it, but I think sensible use does limit this.

kali110 Sun 07-Jul-13 12:41:41

Its for over 13 yo for a reason. Im shocked they are allowed accounts at 6 yo. Theres no need. They can ring or even write to their cousins/friends they don't need fb. My privacy settings are also set to high however i still get random inboxes from people i don't know, probably because my friends settings are not as high as mine.
People moan about fb and the internet are a danger to children but i think problem comes down to the parents because of examples like this.
I dont think its a good example to set your children. It may only be a little rule you are breaking but what happens when they are older and they break bigger rules? How can you tell them its wrong when you have already broken the rules by allowing your underage children to have fb accounts.
Fb can cause lots of trouble for people, your little ones may not be able to cope with difficult situations. You may think they would tell you about any weirdos but they can be fooled into thinking they would be in trouble. They are too young.

secondchances Sun 07-Jul-13 13:45:08

What's wrong with using Skype on your account? Why did you have to set up a facebook account, lie about their age & then spend time drumming rules into them about facebook when you could have just asked family to set up Skype & make time to see if your kids to chat to them? 6? really? dd is coming up 7 & she doesn't even know what facebook is. Why can't kids be kids anymore?

Soapysuds64 Sun 07-Jul-13 13:59:50

When my dd was 8, she was looking at a harmless video on the Brownies / girlguiding site. However, whoever had made this video put a link to her other work......a video in post apocalyptic times, with drug taking, two children being abandoned in a forest and befriended by an old man.....a direct link from the brownies site. I reported it to them and it was swiftly removed. She is now 11 and I have just allowed her fb access. Of course I will monitor her, but the dangers are everywhere on the Internet, not just Facebook.

TimeofChange Sun 07-Jul-13 14:18:29

Whether you are FB friends or not, you can view many peoples' accounts and photos which can be questionable.
There are some quite inappropriate photos on FB accessable to all.

My friend's daughter has been in trouble for sending pictures of herself to boys. She started this age 10.
It doesn't help that her mother has glamour photos of herself as profile pictures.

GiveItYourBestShot Sun 07-Jul-13 14:18:54

Ilovexmastime one of my friends posted a picture of a group of men holding a decapitated cat - one of those "share and let's find these scum" threads. It was horrible to see and also quite out of character for him. Thankfully he hasn't done it again, I don't want to block him! I'm equally bothered by the fact FB keeps suggesting I would find a group called "Seeing your ex with an ugly cunt" amusing. No, really I wouldn't. Not sure how to deal with that!

biryani Sun 07-Jul-13 14:35:50

I'd stay well clear. Especially at such a young age.

fuzzpig Sun 07-Jul-13 14:38:29

TBH although obviously I do agree with all the safety/bullying issues with fb (and other things online), that barely even enters my mind when considering the OP's question. To me it is more than enough reason that it is totally unnecessary. My 6yo is a child. She does not need social networking. There is no need whatsoever to rush her into adolescent/adult pursuits.

SHarri13 Sun 07-Jul-13 15:07:41

I just have no idea why a 6 year d would need a Facebook account apart from wanting one because older siblings and parents do but that's no argument is it? Kids want lots of things older people have but sometimes these things are jut not age appropriate i.e Facebook.

There's just no need!

Sparklymommy Sun 07-Jul-13 15:20:37

My 10 yo has begged me for Facebook. The answer will remain NO until she is at least 13. Far too dangerous!

teetering13 Sun 07-Jul-13 20:43:44

The odd thing that I find with some parents that wait till their kids are 13 (because that's when fb is allowed) is that they then join up and are on there, doing whatever .. on their own!

Which is perfectly acceptable according to facebook (and some parents) because 13 is the age you have to be :/

I'd much rather take the rules into my own hands .. facebook doesn't care about your 13 year olds .. your kids will defo care about facebook though, no matter how much you try hide it from them.
At 10 your child is more likely to listen to you, really listen and not just nod their head hoping you'll shut up soon ... whereas 13 year olds .. well, that's when us parents fade into the background and their friends/own lives take over .. I want to drill some sense in them before that happens! lol

Ashoething Sun 07-Jul-13 21:07:14

None of my dcs have a clue what facebook.is.The.oldest is 10.They are too busy out playing,climbing trees and riding their bikes.Just being kids really.LOL to it teaching them.to be literate or internet savvy.Lazy parenting is all it is.

kali110 Sun 07-Jul-13 21:44:30

Definitely agree with another poster, the age limit for fb should be higher

biryani Mon 08-Jul-13 12:59:24

I''ve noticed that the kids I know who spend a lot of time on fb/ social networking get very little real-life freedom. I can't understand why fb is ok and real-life experiences are not.

Jessicarabbit85 Sat 08-Feb-14 18:57:29

While I agree with most of the previous posts that fb is neither necessary, safe or wholesome for children, I think some of the major issues have been ignored.

Since the creation of the Internet, anyone can publish anything (sometimes with quite an authoritative and misleading tone) and this has never been truer than on facebook, where everyone is a self-publicist. As an adult there are elements to fb that can have a negative psychological impact, and of course to teenagers and children these negative factors risk having even more of an impact.

I came across the following in a facebook article recently, which highlights several good points I think. Briefly;

1. Most of what is posted on fb is negative. Do we want the next generation to be self-pitying moaners?!
2. The best people and role models probably have least contact with and influence via facebook. Small minds talk about people and will enjoy facebook, great minds will be busy thinking and creating.
3. Peer pressure is immense - to be the coolest, funniest, drunkest, most popular(haha!) etc etc

And many more points that make me think facebook is bad for people on the whole and especially kids.

I also believe that because some people edit what they say so much to convey such wonderful lives (they never give themselves bad publicity) we only hear of their 'best bits'. To a fragile, young or insecure mind this can add to any 'I'm not good enough' issues that young people so often feel about themselves.

Anyway here's the article (I've edited out some swearing!) I agree with the overall message that people on/addicted to facebook are probably quite insecure and immature, and it also highlights some of the trash on there like groups, spam posts etc, if a bit harsh yet amusing at times!

---------next thread

Jessicarabbit85 Sat 08-Feb-14 18:57:43

Who wins at Facebook? What your Facebook activity says about you

You post about everything, all the time - itching for a like or comment, sometimes even nervous if you have been outspoken or controversial. You are an idiot, get a life. Ironically when you have got a life and don't need to seek constant validation through Facebook, other people may actually want to hear about it.

You post carefully-edited personal statuses, photos and interesting (in your opinion) observations everyday or every other day. You seek too much approval and attention, grow up.

You post about what negative emotion you're experiencing or a vague status inviting questions and interest. And then sometimes even answer the queries in the comments with 'cant talk about it on here, call me'. You are a d@&£ head and your friends probably find you very draining and would like to unfriend you (horror of all horrors, your numbers may go down!) unless they are all drama hunters too. Seriously, GROW UP!

You post about negative stuff that is happening to you AND NOTHING THE F£)@ ELSE. You are a whinge bag and nobody wants to hear it, grow up AND get a journal, with a lock on it, so nobody accidentally finds it and feels obliged to read it.

You post vague but obviously bitchy statuses or comments, waiting for a reaction, from who it was aimed at or anybody else, somebody please pay me some attention!!!! Grow up, you are an idiot onFacebook, and probably in real life too. That can only serve you for so long.

You like pages that are apparently about British pride, normally with a military slant or national symbol as the profile pic (because that's what we British do best, war!) On the whole they are not about being proud of Britain. You are an idiot, grow up and open your eyes and mind.

All of your posts involve booze, toilets or fraping. You are in your teens/twenties or are an idiot, possibly both. If you are in your tweens/twenties, enjoy. If you are an idiot, enjoy ;)

You share statuses that include any of the following words - luck, lucky, curse, fairy, witch, spell, Muslim, Islam etc etc. You are an idiot, grow up, get yourself educated and give your parents a slap from me.

You go on Facebook regularly but never so much as like or comment on other people's posts. You are a cyber stalker/wimp. Grow some balls, cut some holes in a newspaper and go out and stalk in the real world.

You share funny, interesting or inspiring posts but rarely your own, preferring to like or comment positively on other people's. You probably have a vague, positive impact on the world via Facebook and like to keep your private life, on the whole, private. (And you may be a little bit secretive/prone to cyber stalking.) THANK YOU! You're all grown up! (Also see notes from previous point re stalking.)

You post about intimate details of your relationship, valentines date or communicate with your other half through facebook posts. You are both cringe-inducing saps and probably need to work on your relationship, IN PRIVATE PURLEASE. Grow up together.

You have a facebook account but rarely use it, sometimes maybe to find an old friend or say something nice. WELL DONE! You didn't get sucked in like the rest of us and can hold your head up high, knowing that you have more self respect and dignity, and probably a much more fulfilling life, than 99% of the other however many millions of people on Facebook. And even better, you don't have to wade through the tsunami of s£&@ that these other Facebookers post on a daily basis like their life depends on it. You will of course probably never see this article, and if you did you probably couldn't be arsed to read it all the way down to here anyway because you have better things to do. CONGRATULATIONS!! You win at Facebook. Grow babies smile

LifeIsForTheLiving Sat 08-Feb-14 19:09:26

I just have no idea why a 6 year d would need a Facebook account apart from wanting one because older siblings and parents do but that's no argument is it? Kids want lots of things older people have but sometimes these things are jut not age appropriate i.e Facebook

My 6 year old ds1 has a facebook account. Full privacy, unsearchable and has 4 'friends' - me, dh, and my two sisters.

It was set up recently for one reason only. He used to play Subway Surfers on my iPhone. As my Subway Surfers app was connected to my facebook, he could track his score against other peoples who were on my fb. My sister (15) and he got into a bit of a competition over their high scores and it became their 'thing'. Then my other sister got involved, and dh too (with ds1 thrashing them all score-wise)

For Xmas, he had a HUDL tablet and now has subway surfers on there and no longer uses my phone app. He doesn't even know what Facebook is, but he was really disappointed that he could no longer compare his score to my sister's. So rather than set up my fb on his tablet (which I felt uncomfortable with...don't really want him having access to it), I set his own facebook up, so that he has the score comparison.

Long rambling post...but just wanted to point out that there are other reasons why a 6 year old would 'want' a fb account!

ShatzePage Sat 08-Feb-14 19:11:33

grin at the piss poor attempts at justifying lazy parenting. Facebook is NOT for kids.

Ps-*dooin*-did you ever forgive your parents?

alcazar Sat 08-Feb-14 19:29:07

I am literally gobsmacked at this! I have a 6 year old and absolutely no way would I allow her to have a facebook account. I have seen several things on my facebook feed that have been so utterly disturbing that they wont be forgotten, ever. The first is a photograph of a man who had had a horrific accident, his face was literally split in two. The second was The beginning shot of a video that was clearly some sort of child porn.

Other, milder ones include rude pics, such as silly boys with their penises out etc. The thing is, as in my case, if you have a friend who comments or likes a video or pic of something hideous, it will come up on your news feed, even if they comment to say, "I am reporting this, this is disgusting." The friends on my list are close family and close friends, all over 18, most sensible. This could be an aunt or cousin, how do you know what will pop up until it is too late to be unseen. I also have had several really random adds whilst I have had a pic of my daughter as a profile pic, which has now been changed.

ladyquinoa Sat 08-Feb-14 19:46:27

FB is where a huge amount of bulling goes on. Opening an account makes you vulnerable to it. It really is a major problem.

Sallyingforth Sat 08-Feb-14 20:32:22

There's no justification for this at all.
Your DCs can develop their writing skills by sending emails - they don't need FB to do it. They can develop their reading skills with books - remember them?
And apart from anything else, you and they know that FB has an age limit of 13. You are teaching them that it's OK to lie about their age in order to do things they shouldn't. Are you happy for them to use the same principle to get alcohol, cigarettes, knives, porn?

CoffeeTea103 Sat 08-Feb-14 20:34:40

Whichever way you try to spin this it's bad parenting. How on earth do you think this is ok?

BruthasTortoise Sat 08-Feb-14 20:38:46

My younger DC don't have FB but in all honesty I think FB is far more dangerous for children age 13-18 than it is for little kids. Pre-teens will use it to chat to friends/family and play games - teens are much more likely to use it for arguing with their peers and putting up inappropriate pics and statuses that may well haunt them for years. Plus it is considerably easier to monitor little kids Internet usage than it is with older teens.

SamU2 Sat 08-Feb-14 20:41:12

Zombie thread people!

BruthasTortoise Sat 08-Feb-14 20:42:28

Well spotted Sam smile must remember to check dates!

MoominsYonisAreScary Sat 08-Feb-14 20:43:13

My 10 year old doesnt have fb, I dont want him reading some of the idiotic things his dad puts on there. Also his 19 year old brother.

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