to not insist that DD wears mens shoes

(30 Posts)

New head teacher starting in September. Big well overdue clampdown on school uniform. No problem with that, my own DC's have always worn "school" trousers etc, no daft hair colours, no jewellery and all the rest of it. However, my 13yo DD has size 12 feet and school have said that trainers are not acceptable. (my DD has worn plain black trainers for the last 2 years) Just to be clear, I haven't spoken to anyone about this yet, but DD tells me that her tutor has said that she will have to wear men's shoes. I have no intention of accepting DD's word for this and will make a point of speaking to tutor/ head of house tomorrow, but would IBU to say that I am not prepared to make her wear men's shoes. She has enough issues with health problems and her life is already made miserable by boys in school making fun of her "big feet", I don't want to make things worse. And no, I really cannot find women's shoes to fit her, I've been to handmade shoe shops (they only use pre-cut leather, so no help), I've trawled the internet.

Recently she convinced me that she could wear size 9's from Clarks, just to "fit in", the assistant said they would be fine hmm and despite my better judgement I forked out £45 for a pair of shoes that she wore twice, and cut her feet to shreds. I don't want to be unreasonable and fight the school unless it is necessary. Come on, what do you think?

CuriosityCola Sun 30-Jun-13 19:12:38
QueenStromba Sun 30-Jun-13 19:14:15

Are there any specifications for the shoes? Would something like this be acceptable?

littlewhitebag Sun 30-Jun-13 19:14:21

Could you find a man's brogue type shoe or loafer? Both styles are unisex and would be good for school shoes.

SkinnybitchWannabe Sun 30-Jun-13 19:14:55

That must be awful for her. I haven't got any advice but I hope the school allow her to wear what she feels comfortable in.

CuriosityCola Sun 30-Jun-13 19:15:27

Great minds queen smile

NotAnotherPackedLunch Sun 30-Jun-13 19:16:48

It might be worth taking a look on www.tallgirls.co.uk
They have some brogues in a size 12 that might be ok for school.
Hope you find something.

QueenStromba Sun 30-Jun-13 19:17:16

Aha. I've found a website listing lots of places that sell large women's shoes. Linky.

CMOTDibbler Sun 30-Jun-13 19:17:42

YANBU, but Tallgirls have black ballerinas in a 12

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 30-Jun-13 19:17:54

I've worn boys shoes in the past. There is very little difference between some men's and ladies styles. In fact when I worked in a show shop the black lace ups were unisex

youarewinning Sun 30-Jun-13 19:19:37

Is your DD's shoe size related to her medical condition? If so I'm wondering if the DDA would come in here?

The tall girls website looks fab and those shoes are so feminine.

apostropheuse Sun 30-Jun-13 19:21:07

Lots of the young girls and women seem to be wearing brogues this year; would she wear those? The other option might be moccasin type shoes - not sure if those would be fashionable enough for her? Another option might be leather deck shoes/loafer types.

I think she's fairly lucky in that several of the fashionable shoes seem to be unisex style at the moment.

RandomMess Sun 30-Jun-13 19:21:54

At dds school the all have to wear Dr Martins, tis fantastic tbh.

weblette Sun 30-Jun-13 19:23:14

I know it's expensive but would something like this do?

emilialuxembourg Sun 30-Jun-13 19:23:55

How about Kickers or Doc martens?

littlewhitebag Sun 30-Jun-13 19:24:37

My DD who is at uni wear shoes/boots that look exactly like her dads shoes and she looks very cool and trendy. She wears chunky boots with little floaty dresses and it looks great. Perhaps you need to get your DD to work out a style that suits her and incorporates mannish shoes so she feels comfortable with how she looks.

Thank you, I'll get her to take a look at the pages you've suggested!

Damn, have just looked and none of them are going to be wide enough!
I love Dr Martins but she hates them! sad

QueenStromba Sun 30-Jun-13 20:11:20

Did you go through the website I posted that had links to loads of sites?

cardibach Sun 30-Jun-13 20:15:22

I have size 10 feet (I appreciate this is slightly easier) but they are a 'normal' width. I always find these sites that make large shoes also make them wide - send for some and see, you might find they are OK, especially those soft ones linked by CuriosityCola.

Weegiemum Sun 30-Jun-13 20:17:52

I haven't really got any suggestions but I just had to say I really feel for your dd. I've got very wide size 10s and have worn men's boots, brogues and trainers for years.

Last winter I got ladies boots to fit in Brantano, Evans shoes go up to I think an 11 and they do extra-wide fittings, as do Long Tall Sally, i know thats not quite big enough but certain styles might be ok? That's all I can think of.

Yika Sun 30-Jun-13 20:22:19

YANBU. She should not be forced to wear men's shoes, no way. Hope you find some nice ones for her but in the meantime stand your ground.

lucjam Sun 30-Jun-13 20:43:09

Your poor dd. I have size 9-10 feet and slightly wide (but not wide enough for evans eee fit which are like boats on me). Evans always say go down a size on their eee fitting so maybe an 11 would be worth a try. Think they have a sale on now to so maybe worth having a look. It is free returns with Evans so I'd order masses of pairs to try knowing you can send them all back for free.

Also if shoes are just tight as opposed to properly too small then warm them with hairdryer and put them on and they stretch a bit

Good luck.

r3dsquirrel Sun 30-Jun-13 21:21:21

I have a friend with size 11 feet who always has really pretty shoes. I'm pretty sure she gets most of her shoes from a shop called Elephant feet in Brixton. I just googled and they don't have a website but the address is online.

devonsmummy Sun 30-Jun-13 21:37:39

I was at school with a girl with size 12 feet at age 11.
She had a growth hormone problem
I'm sure she had her shoes paid for (by nhs?)

GiveItYourBestShot Sun 30-Jun-13 22:00:02

Men's shoes are bigger in the heel than ladies. (Says a size 10.5)

This is only a last resort, but certain (specialist) shoe shops do mary-janes and other styles in very large sizes. For a particular demographic. Let me know if you'd like a link. I shop on them occasionally because I like high heels and many Big Girl Shoe shops assume tall girls want flats.

CeliaFate Mon 01-Jul-13 10:56:00

Something like this?

2lazyboys Mon 01-Jul-13 11:15:49

How about a pair of flossys? They are pretty much just a plain black plimsole and they are unisex, reasonably priced too, sorry can't do a link but you can buy them in places like office and schuh. Around £20 I think.

louloushoes Wed 30-Oct-13 12:45:12

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

SybilRamkin Wed 30-Oct-13 14:01:42

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