To ask how on EARTH you wipe with such a small number of sheets of loo roll?

(159 Posts)
AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 21:34:27

I see this every so often on here (the SIL thread is the one I'm thinking of atm) where people use 8 sheets of loo roll for a wee. How?! How does that work? Do you just wipe once with all 8 squares or use a sheet for a 8 little wipes? Don't you get wee on your hands?

This is a genuine question because I use a million rolls <slight exaggeration> a week and I'm dumbfounded every time I see a post about a family of four using a quarter of what I use for a week.

snozzlemaid Fri 28-Jun-13 21:38:33

I'm with you I use loads more than most people on here say they use. It's beyond me.

VivaLeBeaver Fri 28-Jun-13 21:40:16

2 sheets for a wee, folded again so it's actually 4 thick.

No wee on fingers.

Who counts the sheets?

And how do you use loads of sheets? Does your poo come out like a water sprinkler?

Bluestocking Fri 28-Jun-13 21:42:51

Same as Viva.

Tortoise Fri 28-Jun-13 21:42:56

2 sheets for a wee, folded along the join then in half again.
3 or 4 sheets for a poo! As many times as needed to get clean lol!

MousyMouse Fri 28-Jun-13 21:44:00

this is how

sorry it's in german, but speaks for itself

BumpKitty Fri 28-Jun-13 21:44:52

Surely with a wee you are just dabbing dry quite a small area? I could easily do a two sheet wee, poos would be more obviously.

orangeandemons Fri 28-Jun-13 21:45:42

But I like to make a scrunchy puffs of loo roll rather than folds

Optimist1 Fri 28-Jun-13 21:45:49

Same as Viva!

HollyBerryBush Fri 28-Jun-13 21:46:00

Im failing to see how you need 8 squares to blot

BellaVita Fri 28-Jun-13 21:46:30

I never count.

Use loads though. More rather than less every time.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou Fri 28-Jun-13 21:46:37

I don't count sheets but I bet I use less than 8 for a wee. Every time I stay at my passive aggressive mother's house she tells me 'we seem to be getting through quite a lot of toilet paper' every hour on the hour. Yes, that would be because there are 5 extra people in the house.

littlewhitebag Fri 28-Jun-13 21:46:41

How can you fail to hit the target with 8 squares for a wee. You must have a massive wiping area!

Oldraver Fri 28-Jun-13 21:46:56

I fold mine in three blush

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 21:48:04

Mousymouse shock

I'm wondering now if I have a mega huge fanjo because I cannot comprehend how that little number of sheets can get all the wee off adequately!

No sprinkler poo, creature! I just get carried away cleaning up it seems!

RiffyWammal Fri 28-Jun-13 21:49:10

I use about 3/4 sheets for a wee - 8 would be enough for a poo!

I can't fathom how you use so much, frankly. Is it super-thin cheapo loo roll? Do you wait for your wee to stop before you start wiping? Your pee hole is tiny - unless you are peeing standing up, have long flowing pubes that get wet, or have enormous beef curtains there is only a very small area to dry! confused

Plus3 Fri 28-Jun-13 21:49:11

I think I am more realistically a 3 sheet folder for a wee.

WafflyVersatile Fri 28-Jun-13 21:50:25

are you a scruncher, OP?

If it's cheap toilet roll I do sometimes go mad with sheets. Normally I use 2 or 3 and fold in half and half again so 4 or 6 thick.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 28-Jun-13 21:50:51

8 sheets is a lot for a wee.

snozzlemaid Fri 28-Jun-13 21:51:08

Seriously 2 sheets!? I must have different anatomy or urinate differently as the paper would just be wet through.
I'm always very wet after weeing. Maybe you lot aren't?

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 21:51:14

Not super cheap no. Its tescos own packs. I buy the 18 roll jobbies. And oh my lord 8 for a poo? Only for a ghost poo surely!

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 21:51:44

I'm a rolly polly folder waffly

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 28-Jun-13 21:52:56

Maybe you should see a doctor Amy?

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 21:54:13

Why, outraged? Worrying now!

CamelBalls Fri 28-Jun-13 21:55:31

Rolf @ beef curtains!

I use 3 swuare for a wee folded in half

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 28-Jun-13 21:58:08

Just incase you've got an usually large/oddly positioned urethra. You could be a medical marvel grin

dontyouwantmebaby Fri 28-Jun-13 21:58:26

don't worry Amy.

who counts the sheets?

never thought much about it before but I reckon I'm a scruncher, always get accused of using up the loo roll too quickly! Never scrimp on quality or quantity grin.

IPreferCats Fri 28-Jun-13 21:58:48

I just weed and used 12 sheets. I'm a scruncher not a folder.

ThoughtsPlease Fri 28-Jun-13 21:59:03

I too use a fair bit of loo roll even for a wee, not sure how many sheets but probably unrolled to quite near the floor!

Kithulu Fri 28-Jun-13 22:00:53

4 always 4

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 22:01:36

You panicked me for a sec then grrr grin

I might try experimenting with my number of squares hmm.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 28-Jun-13 22:02:13

Op - have you removed all your fanjo hair?

snozzlemaid Fri 28-Jun-13 22:06:06

Think I've got the answer now why I use so much...
I do have large labia blush

DoingStuffForHarriet Fri 28-Jun-13 22:06:07

For a wee, 2 sheets. Folded very neatly and precisely. Never ever scrunched.
A poo is another matter entirely.

Tortoise Fri 28-Jun-13 22:07:31

12 sheets for a wee? shock

PuppyMonkey Fri 28-Jun-13 22:07:47

I have never counted the sheets but I can't recall ever getting wee on my fingers. However if I did, there's this amazing thing in our bathroom called a sink, which we combine with a product known as soap and simply wash hands afterwards. HTH.

pixwix Fri 28-Jun-13 22:08:49

Just shake your lettuce? and afterwards blot with 2 sheets - then wash hands?

Triumphoveradversity Fri 28-Jun-13 22:11:24

I poo at about 10.00 in the morning so have availed myself of free bog roll for at least 30 years at work grin

I use as much as I need at the time but have those wet bum wipe things and keep in my bag.

AvonCallingBarksdale Fri 28-Jun-13 22:12:13

8, nay, 12 sheets for a wee?! 2 here, folded up. How could you need more confused

Hassled Fri 28-Jun-13 22:12:21

2 or 3 for a wee seems more than adequate.

As many as it takes for a poo. I think we're a fairly economical-with-our-bog-roll family, which sort of compensates for our poor switching-off-lights regime.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 28-Jun-13 22:12:52

'there's this amazing thing in our bathroom called a sink, which we combine with a product known as soap and simply wash hands afterwards. HTH.'


How the other half live!

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 28-Jun-13 22:14:52

8 sheets?!

I've never actually counted but I'm 99.9% sure I don't use that many.

RiffyWammal Fri 28-Jun-13 22:15:32

OP, have you tried looking at your front bottom with a mirror? If so, does it look like there's a teeny pee hole there? Or does it resemble the rose on the end of a watering can?

8 sheets for a wee ?? shock

I am a folder AND a scruncher.

Two sheets, folded over so 4 sheets thick for a wee.
This is always more than enough. After all, the wee comes out of the urethra straight into the toilet bowl. Not sure how much there is to wipe?
And never wee on my hands.

Six sheets, scrunched up, for a poo.
Repeat with another six sheets for a hard-to-wipe one.
So between 6 and 12 sheets for a poo.

Then wash hands with soap and water.

schooldidi Fri 28-Jun-13 22:17:05

4. Folded along the perforations. Always. Why would anyone use more than that?

Purple2012 Fri 28-Jun-13 22:18:09

I scrunch. If im at home all day I probably go through at least one whole roll of paper, probably closer to 1 and a half. But then I wee around 40 times a day so im boundto uuse loads.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 22:18:28

Shake my lettuce? grin Watering can? grin

I think I'm coming to the conclusion that its a combo of giant fanjo and (ahem) being slightly natural down there blush

Can I ask? The people who use this tiny sizes of loo roll for poos, do you just wipe once?!

omri Fri 28-Jun-13 22:19:02

2 sheets for wee and 3 maybe max 4 sheets for poo. Anything more i would just feel so guilty for wasting!!!

I am natural down there. Still don't manage to get wee on it though!! grin

Tizwozliz Fri 28-Jun-13 22:20:39

I find that hair removal increases toilet paper usage.

CamelBalls Fri 28-Jun-13 22:23:05

If you fold you use less!

RiffyWammal Fri 28-Jun-13 22:23:31

I think I only wipe twice or thrice for poos, but that may be just since I started drinking Fybogel daily. Now my turds are so smooth and healthy they hardly skim the sides as they glide out! grin

forevergreek Fri 28-Jun-13 22:25:11

2/3 I suppose, don't really count. However 8/12 sheets seems like half a roll to me
( I just pulled 10 sheets off after reading this and its longer than our bath!)

Surely you wee into toilet rather than all over yourself, then just dab.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 22:26:18

Do you have a giant fanjo too behind? That might be the tipping point <cries>

I came on to agree with you, as threads about loo roll always seem to involve people who use half a sheet for a wee and three quarters of a sheet for a poo, but eight, really? No exaggeration?
3 or 4 for a wee. DD only needs 2 but she's only little, she could mummify herself with 8 grin

That said if you need 8 you need 8. I can't bear toilet roll stinginess- it's the one thing that really should not be rationed!

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 22:27:25

Ooh riffy those poos sound lovely!

And don't other people, who wee al fresco (not me I hasten to add) just shake? So if that's good enough, do they ever use paper, when they're on a normal toilet?

ladyMaryQuiteContrary Fri 28-Jun-13 22:28:29

You know, there is a thing as too much sharing wink

BumpKitty Fri 28-Jun-13 22:29:27

Hmm I'm intrigued, amy if you imagine having a mouthful of water and pursing your lips together and spitting it out in a stream of liquid when all the water was gone you would just have a tiny bit left on your mouth to dab off wouldn't you? Does your wee not come out like that? (Please feel free to ignore this question!). Maybe you aren't sitting with your legs far apart enough? I hope this is helpful and not just creepy smile

raisah Fri 28-Jun-13 22:30:41

Loo roll plus wet wipes means you use less normal loo roll.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 22:32:36

That was helpful to imagine bump it does come out like that yes. Maybe its more psychological than I first thought sad Like I feel like I need to wipe again when really I don't hmm <scratches head>

mirry2 Fri 28-Jun-13 22:32:50

This thread is so funny grin. Even if I scrunch i don't think I'd use 8 sheets.

Uhm, yes, and large flappy bits.

Will have to NC now, won't I?? blush

HildaOgden Fri 28-Jun-13 22:34:07

I don't know how many sheets I use,doubt it's eight,but I do hate when my toilet roll pyramid is off kilter.

Amy, would one (yes one) sheet of that moistened toilet paper make you feel more fresh and clean? For perhaps it is indeed a psychological need rather than a physical one??

Prawntoast Fri 28-Jun-13 22:36:45

If you are using 8 sheets you must have some sort of uncontrollable sprinkler system going on down there, 2-4 sheets max.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 22:39:22

behind we can be flap twins grin and I think the moisture wipe things would make me feel more unclean weirdly!

I'm wondering now if its time to confess how many squares I actually do use. I probably couldnt count it i use that many! I was shocked that someone managed with 8 and a lot of people have shocked me more with tales of 4 or 2 squares.

Signet2012 Fri 28-Jun-13 22:39:45

2 for a wee.

Dp uses a stupid amount. I have no idea what he does with it!

Op maybe you should fart and blowdry ?

grin at flap twins, can I wear a badge proudly proclaiming that fact??

And if the moist wipes will make you feel more unclean than the issue is def psychological.
Not sure how to fix it though...

HildaOgden Fri 28-Jun-13 22:42:43

I just went, it took 3 are you not blocking your plumbing with minimum of 8???How many do you use?

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 22:45:12

Only if you make me one to wear too behind I wonder if I can wean myself down to less sheets. Or just go cold turkey. Once upon a time I did do that and manage less than I do now.

Prepare to be horrified hilda at a rough guesstimate based on how many rolls I use a week etc, I probably use 50ish squares for a wee (not in one go though) and double/triple that for a poo.

Don't make me feel too bad so I have to NC. I like this one!!!

youarepricelessforme Fri 28-Jun-13 22:47:03

You should use water first and u can use the roll. Imagine weeping on you fingers or your hand catches shit would you just wipe it or would you give it a deep wash So rinsing with water is the most hygienic way in the toilet you must teach your kids as well

EMUZ Fri 28-Jun-13 22:48:30

I just counted the sheets but I would skew the results as its time of the month and so I use more. That was 10 pieces

RiffyWammal Fri 28-Jun-13 22:49:27

Thanks Amy <preens> smile

I wish everyone would stop recommending wet wipes! They don't biodegrade like loo roll you know - they might say 'flushable' and technically they are, as they flush down the toilet, but what they don't tell you is that they then get quietly wedged in your sewage pipe in the garden, slowly forming a kind of dam that all the family's cack builds up against until the pipe can hold no more and it starts to come up out of the floor in your garage. envy

I claimed compo from the makers of one brand of these wipes for this reason. The men who had the job of pulling the massive wad of wipes out of the pipe said they are notorious for blocking sewers.

HildaOgden Fri 28-Jun-13 22:56:50


Ah now,stop.That's really,really over-doing it!You'll make yourself raw grin.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 23:01:27

I did once give myself tissue burn blush I have decided! Tomorrow it begins! I am going to go cold turkey and try and reduce the amount I use. This thread and the crazy foldy lengths you all go to has inspired me! Thanks everyone grin

CointreauVersial Fri 28-Jun-13 23:03:15

How has your plumbing survived?

There's no way my puny pipes would carry away 50 sheets.

MatriarchalDreams Fri 28-Jun-13 23:03:37

Fifty?! WTF are you doing with them?! I use three, folded along the perforations, as my mother taught me, some poos need more and it's different when you have your period (haven't had a period for over 2 years though so am not on that wavelength atm). FIFTY?!

50 noooooo
Surely there aren't that many on a roll? Don't you block the toilet every time? And how long does it take you??

MatriarchalDreams Fri 28-Jun-13 23:04:33

And yy with the plumbing, mine is so crap it won't even carry the three sheets down!

You do know you only have to wipe the outside?

I don't believe you use 50. I'm not calling you a troll or a liar I just don't get it. When you're winding the roll round your hand for the sixth time, do you never think...hang on, maybe this is enough? Shall I stop now?

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 23:07:29

Yes I only wipe the outside haha! I don't know how the plumbing has survived to be honest. Probably one of the reasons I should change my habits just in case shock oh god what if I have already damaged it and just haven't realise yet?! <worried>

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 23:08:42

I wish I was lying Stealth. It costs a bomb. I do think sometimes yeah this is too much lets stop now but I want to make sure I'm all sorted so its a bit of a "ah go on just one more wipe/dab" type thing.

OP you need to stop it. Think of all the time you're wasting. You could have cured cancer, written a novel or climbed every mountain in the world in the time you've spent unnecessarily wiping your bits. And what do you have to show for it? Extra dry bits!

snozzlemaid Fri 28-Jun-13 23:10:23

Ok, as I've already declared, I'm a member of the large flap club and do use more than most on here. But 50!
I probably use more like 6 to 8 each wee.

smile Just to reassure you, I think the worst damage you'd have done would be a UTI. And you'd know about it. So I don't think you need to worry about long term damage. Just start thinking about that novel maybe.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 23:13:07

Stealth grin that made me laugh out loud for real. Extra dry bits! But yes on a serious note I must have wasted a lot of time shock that'll be another plus if my experiment works, more time!

snozzle hopefully me and my giant flaps can follow suit and get it down to 6 to 8 too grin

MajesticWhine Fri 28-Jun-13 23:13:58

I use copious amounts, but 50 sheets for a wee is really going some.

How much I use depends on how far into the loo roll we are. At the start of the roll I'll be a bit more generous and wipe a wee with up to 6 scrunched squares, and a poo with maybe 10 (scrunched). Towards the end of a roll I'll use 1 folded square for a wee (after making sure I've squeezed every last drop out and I've given myself a shake above the toilet), and I'll either use 4 folded for a poo, or if we're REALLY close to the end of the roll, I'll use a baby wipe and then dry off with 2 folded. All that to avoid having to go to the cupboard across from the bathroom to get more loo roll... blush

WandaDoff Fri 28-Jun-13 23:14:38

I think OP means 50 squares for wees overall, rather than 50 squares for each wee.

in what tiem period wanda?

WandaDoff Fri 28-Jun-13 23:17:33

I should refresh the page before I answer blush

MsVestibule Fri 28-Jun-13 23:18:28

I probably use 50ish squares for a wee (not in one go though) and double/triple that for a poo. I swear I actually had a funny turn/heart palpitation when I read that grin. Two for a wee (folded in four) and four/six for a poo (in two or three batches) is plenty.

I really, really don't mean this in a nasty way but I do think this has to be a psychological issue for you. But if this is just supposed to be lighthearted, please ignore me!

Gumps Fri 28-Jun-13 23:19:09

I just use one for a wee. Surely this is normal and why it was designed with a perforation for one sheet?
I can't be that small down below as I have had 3 dcs naturally and I don't get wee on my fingers...

WandaDoff Fri 28-Jun-13 23:19:43

Prepare to be horrified hilda at a rough guesstimate based on how many rolls I use a week etc, I probably use 50ish squares for a wee (not in one go though) and double/triple that for a poo.

She said not all in one go.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 23:21:54

I meant 50 squares for one wee blush the not in one go bit I meant like several wipes using them rather than one giant 50 square wipe blush

Gruntfuttock Fri 28-Jun-13 23:22:45

Gumps one square? shock That's nearly as surprising as 50! I counted last time I went and it was 6 squares folded in four.

MsVestibule Fri 28-Jun-13 23:22:49

OK, Amy, you're going to have to clarify. When you said I probably use 50ish squares for a wee (not in one go though), I presumed you meant 50 sheets for one wee, but maybe broken down into 5 lots of 10 sheets. Am I right, or is Wanda?

Tortoise Fri 28-Jun-13 23:23:06

I assumed Not all in One go meant op wipes lots of times per wee not a huge 50 sheet wad!

MsVestibule Fri 28-Jun-13 23:23:28

OK, cross posted. I just had to know grin.

Tortoise Fri 28-Jun-13 23:23:59

Oops cross posts! But yay I was rightgrin

So you use 100-150 sheets for a poo?
Seriously, is tht not more than is on one roll? You could probably have a shower each time and chuck out the towel, and it'd be cheaper.

WandaDoff Fri 28-Jun-13 23:25:42


AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 23:29:18

I think there's about 200 odd on a roll. So it probably costs me about 30p for a poo and 15/20p for wee shock never thought of it like that before! That's a lot of money down the toilet hmm

NutsinMay Fri 28-Jun-13 23:30:06

Are you not blocking your toilet each time you flush? My waters are always rising up the bowl on much less tissue usage.

Dawndonna Fri 28-Jun-13 23:32:08

I hope my pipes are okay, I have no choice but to use wet wipes for a poo. I have psoriasis, yep, even there, and paper can tear and cause infections.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Fri 28-Jun-13 23:33:31

Sometimes it does nuts but sometimes I flush in between wipes <gross>

Oh dawn that sounds so painful sad

badtime Fri 28-Jun-13 23:35:30

Does part of you think something bad will happen if you don't wipe so thoroughly? I mean a real, deep down fear?

I ask because this sounds like OCD or something (I have OCD, but no undercarriage-wiping compulsions). It really is not common to need to use more than a few sheets for a wee.

NutsinMay Fri 28-Jun-13 23:38:45


I think you can get flushable wipes. I'm considering them myself as I seem to have developed an eczema problem there myself.

BillyGoatintheBuff Fri 28-Jun-13 23:42:38

Do people like to use hardly any toilet paper just due to cost?? I do not think about cost and use loads of toilet paper. I do not want to scrimp and save and have wet bits.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 28-Jun-13 23:46:04

I don't use much because I don't tend to need it. It's not about cost though, toilet paper is not to be scrimped on! It's the one "household" item I won't buy own brand/economy versions of grin

Remotecontrolduck Fri 28-Jun-13 23:46:06

Oh my goodness 50 sheets for a wee? Your plumbing must be bloody good!

That isn't normal no matter how you look at it, try see if you can cut back a lot bit!

CamelBalls Sat 29-Jun-13 01:02:06

So how many toilet rolls to you go though?!
50 is a huge amount and I'm surprised your not sore down there!

May be worth trying to cut down a bit...and on that note, I'm off for a wee!

Morloth Sat 29-Jun-13 01:45:51

I use heaps of toilet paper, the really thick expensive stuff.

Loved that shea butter one you can get in the UK.

I have (t)issues leftover from a poor childhood where we were always running out of toilet paper.

Poor quality/quantity of toilet paper pisses me right off. wink

MrsMook Sat 29-Jun-13 02:18:50

Flushable wipes are flushable in that they won't bob around in the toilet pan, but they don't breakdown in the plumbing system, and as they become more popular are increasingly responsible for blockages.

Washable baby wipes are an alternative on that theme. I use them on occaison.

I go for 2 squares per go (folded in 3) for a wee and 3 squares per go for a poo, using as many goes as the job requires.

mirry2 Sat 29-Jun-13 11:28:21

I've just counted. 5 sheets for a wee. wipe, fold, wipe again. can't beleive I'm so interested in this thread and that I've just had a detailed lokk at my wiping habits grin

Samu2 Sat 29-Jun-13 11:42:19

I just wrap it around my hand. I use far more than I need though.

My sister used to moan at me when I stayed the night at hers as I got through so much TP.

theodorakisses Sat 29-Jun-13 12:07:16

We have hose squirters in the ME and I can't imagine being without one now. A nice warm high pressure squirt and then dry with a little bit of paper (or if you are posh you keep a pile of pristine linen towels beside the loo). The children that were born here can't get their heads around using paper to wipe the poo often with horrible results on holidays. My husband is thinking of marketing them to the UK although the jet would probably be icy cold in winter...

theodorakisses Sat 29-Jun-13 12:08:06

If you have lived in Bangladesh, you will always be verrry careful how much paper you flush, you will inevitably see it again at some point!

In terms of cost, today's groupon deal is 45 rolls of three-ply for thirteen quid - might be of some use for you even while you wean yourself down.

I bought it last time around and it's quite good stuff, and has lasted in my three adult, three potty trained child household.

theodorakisses Sat 29-Jun-13 12:11:57
theodorakisses Sat 29-Jun-13 12:12:30

Note, not my yukky bathroom!

3-4 for a wee here

SilverOldie Sat 29-Jun-13 15:45:57

This thread has made me laugh so much smile. I use two for a wee, folded in half and then folded again. Four for a poo, same, folded in half and then again. Ten sheets!!

CamelBalls Sat 29-Jun-13 23:06:28

Ewwwwwww not a bum squirter!!

garlicnutty Sat 29-Jun-13 23:19:46

Despite having only read 2 pages of your thread, Amy, I really want to thank you!!! grin I thought I was alone ... The Bog Paper Monster, whose bottom must be loads more gummy than everyone else's, because they can't get over the amount of paper I use ... sad

Actually, I suspect they all go round with bits of slowly-drying poo stuck in their bum-cracks. I find the British (I am British) pretty disgusting for our suspicion of bidets and wet wipes. I'd like one of those bog-hoses.

<relaxes, finally amongst her own kind!>

towerofjelly Sat 29-Jun-13 23:27:51

I remember my DS giving the loo roll a swift yank and whatever landed in a pile on the floor was scrunched and used. Many many sheets. Still the same. Me 2 sheets wee 4 sheets poo.

CamelBalls Mon 01-Jul-13 00:09:13

How did you get on from using 50 wipes - did you half that for a wee?!

cantspel Mon 01-Jul-13 00:20:06

The bum squirter is gross and they tend to be plumbed into the cold water supply.

What you need is a GoBidet. Fixes to the loo itself and is plumbed into the hot and cold water supply so you wash your arse with lovely warm jets of water, then just part dry with a sheet or 2 of tesco's value.

cantspel Mon 01-Jul-13 00:20:47
BlackMini Mon 01-Jul-13 00:28:54

Surely wiping with 8 sheets is like wiping your fanjo with a duvet? Especially with some of the more luxurious brands.

I'm a 2 sheet for a wee and 2 or 3 for a poo using as many as necessary, kind of girl. It just feels so wasteful to use more.

Pumpkinette Mon 01-Jul-13 00:45:51

I use about 6 sheets for a pee. Not sure how much for a poo. Probobly around 6-8 sheets for wiping, the 'splash barrier' however must take the sheet count to at least 30.

garlicnutty Mon 01-Jul-13 00:52:46

That GoBidet looks a bit like the Geberit bum-squirting loo that's being advertised atm. I couldn't be happy with something like that - wouldn't the squirty tubes be liable to get poo on them? Then you'd be squirting your nethers with poo water [boak]

There's no reason you couldn't plumb a bum-hose (grin) into hot & cold. In fact, I've just realised that a longer hose for my shower mixer would do just fine! (Tiny bathroom.) That should give visitors something to talk about behind my back ...

garlicnutty Mon 01-Jul-13 01:06:56

Ooh, look! A thermostatic one for Brits (and better designed) smile

cantspel Mon 01-Jul-13 01:20:17

No you dont get poo on them as the arm folds to the side of the loo and you pull the lever to move the arm after you have finished pooing.
Not even my kids manage to poo on the water pipe and if anyone could then it would be them.

I'm torn between <boke> at the linen towels by the toilet and shoulder shaking giggles coupled with Mutley sniggers at the other descriptions.

Even worse, I'm at work and my colleagues are giving me funny looks.

Well I'm a scruncher, I don't count pages, and I use bloody loads for a poo!

I don't put a splash barrier down, who does that??!

mirry2 Mon 01-Jul-13 13:11:09

Yes the linen towels sound dreadful. Who washes them? Do people have maids to do it?

shewhowines Mon 01-Jul-13 13:26:30

2-3 here but it has to be good quality. I would over compensate with cheap stuff.

One or two wipes per poo though. Piles put paid to that. blush

valiumredhead Mon 01-Jul-13 13:43:29

I use whatever I need, counting is very funnygrin

I want a bidet or bum squirter !

valiumredhead Mon 01-Jul-13 13:47:51

Garlic-it's called 'shataff' in the descriptiongrin I so want one !

PunkHedgehog Mon 01-Jul-13 14:01:23

Splash barrier?

Er. Where and how is this constructed?

MrsPennyapple Mon 01-Jul-13 14:31:49

Splash barrier: A bundle of loo roll that you put down before you poo, so as to avoid splash-back and also minimise sound effects.

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Mon 01-Jul-13 14:32:59

How the hell can you use 50 sheets for a wee? Do you piss into the tissue? I don't even use that much for a shit and I'm very clean of arse. 2 sheets is sufficient for a piss, I don't get piss on my hands but if I did I'd just wash them like I do anyway.

PunkHedgehog Mon 01-Jul-13 14:41:27

Ah, I see.

Well, I don't see, but at least I have some idea of what you're talking about.

How any of you still have a working flush is beyond me.

theodorakisses Mon 01-Jul-13 16:01:29

The bum squirted is ok for 3 goes but after that, at 44c is a bit warm. My oh has taught me that when you are constipated and desperate, a few squirts with the hose means you can then pass the log, gross, tmi but effective

theodorakisses Mon 01-Jul-13 16:04:11

Sorry but I do have a maid but I do my own laundry and if you squirt properly they are simply used for drying.

LillethTheCat Mon 01-Jul-13 16:11:52

Im with the OP. 2 sheets folded leaves hardly any room. I know (well hope) we all wash our hands afterwards so its not really a big deal if people use less than others, but I really dont see how its done with so few pieces. I dont count the number of pieces I use, but I would say its at least 5

Osmiornica Wed 03-Jul-13 18:13:28

Blimey. You do realise you're meant to stop weeing before you wipe. Can't see why else you'd need 50.

shewhowines Wed 03-Jul-13 18:29:48

Thought about this thread this morning when doing the business. I thought I used 2 or 3 sheets for a wee. I can officially verify from this morning, that it is exactly 3 folded roughly along the creases then all folded in half again - so a 6 sheet thickness for the price of 3!

I thought I used loads for a longer job but at three sheets a go' and about 10 to 12 wipes, i'm still well under your 50 sheets for a wee. I'm envy at the 2 wipe per poo brigade. Your digestive system must be better than mine.

WafflyVersatile Wed 03-Jul-13 21:30:49

surely if you use loads of sheets there's a point where it get's like trying to paint coving with a standard paint roller?

BadLad Thu 04-Jul-13 02:04:13

How do blind people know when they have finished wiping?

tanukiton Thu 04-Jul-13 03:28:02

For all your rear end cleansing needs smile
Mine has adjustable temp and jet control.

tanukiton Thu 04-Jul-13 03:33:22

And it has a dryer so your undercarriage gets wafted dry so technically you would never need loo roll again....

I always use 2 sheets for a wee and 4 for a poo. Always folded, never deviate from this.

I had an unfortunate incident with a bumhose on holiday. I thought I could use it to clean out my mooncup. It was a pretty forceful waterjet and sent period splattering all up the walls and even on the ceiling.

Mamagiraffe Mon 08-Jul-13 03:36:49

I use family cloth.. Wash and reuse, just like ds'j reusable baby wipes x

Family cloth is boggling

Is it for all the family?

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