To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby/naming ceremony" *PART 2!"

(248 Posts)
doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 19:41:23

Have been advised by the expert Mners here this needs a new thread....

So here it is.

Have printed off todays' email from the sister from hell for friends DH who is dropping in later to read, probably drink and discuss.....

Thanks so much for all your replies.... You ladies are helping me reain sane when I really really really want to lose the plot spectacularly!

Am about to sort dinner and stuff so wll update further later when friends DH has been and I know what to do if anything....

DF just read the email and is "do recycling and smash stuff" to "absorb before he comes over really South London.... sad. He is furious at the sister even referring to our recent loss amongst other comments in the message and wants a level head before our friend arrives...

All will be fine..... Will update later.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 27-Jun-13 19:50:21

details, you are torturing us with half told stories...

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Thu 27-Jun-13 19:57:31

Can anyone link me to part 1? I haven't read it!

diddl Thu 27-Jun-13 19:58:10

Just skimmed other thread.

Congrats on your engagement & GM!

motherofvikings Thu 27-Jun-13 19:59:11

doubleshot I've just seen this thread today and it has been a welcome distraction from RL headaches! smile

I can only say shock to your friends sister! You have done an amazing job being so level headed with the endless string of madness you've helped your friend deal with!

Really hoping it has happy endings! smile

BlueberryHill Thu 27-Jun-13 20:00:21

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a1778454-To-be-miffed-at-Gift-list-for-mother-of-the-baby-enclosed-in-Baby-naming-ceremony-invitation#39959570

Hope that link works.

Doubleshot, congratulations on your engagement.

Does the sister live in an alternate reality?

ShipwreckedAndComatose Thu 27-Jun-13 20:00:50

Wow! just when it looked as though this was sorted!!

friend's sister needs a torch, she is so far up her own arse!

the reference to your loss is unforgivable.

She told me you guys had another loss recently (sorry to hear that), so thought my getting in contact might help...

just lost for words really. in what way has she helped you?

and i'm sorry for your loss. you've really rather a lot to deal with sad

Ponders Thu 27-Jun-13 20:06:08

thanks for the new thread, double (though it is a massive shame-on-her that you needed one)

your DF is right to be angry sad

shock
And there was me thinking there was a happy ending after the other thread!

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 27-Jun-13 20:11:22

Congratulations on your engagement double and shock and angry for you at latest developments.

doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 20:14:43

To be honest her self-absorbed, over-entitled actions have probably with hindsight provided me with a welcome distraction from the MC, but I am so full of rage at the way she dared to refer to it (as if she ever cared anyway) and then said sorry in brackets ..... Funny, that bit did not make my blood boil until I had re-read the message I was so sideways upon receiving the email from her i. The first place.

I confess to a little blub in the loo at work, followed by super strength coffee to pull me together. I am so determined any progress made with helping our friend will not be hindered by her... Her DH is due here in an hour or so hopefully he will lead on this. DP thinks he will explode and then become very businesslike....

Will let you all know...

Congrats double!!!
Just been catching up on the thread.

I'm sure friends DP will do the right thing, he seems to have so far. I wouldn't be nay rush to show friend the email.... seems like her DP and her mother should sort this one I think! Can't believe the brass neck of the woman!!

MerryOnMerlot Thu 27-Jun-13 20:15:51

OMFG! Haven't commented on earlier thread as so many people beat me to it!

You really, really couldn't make this stuff up could you? Having said that, given your previous posts about the sister and DPP, it's not really that surprising!

Do keep us posted double. I'm sure I'm not the only one waiting to hear that the sister-from-hell has got her just desserts!

p.s. Do you know any film producers? This would be a blockbuster!

ISeeSmallPeople Thu 27-Jun-13 20:20:01

Good luck with friend's DH tonight.
But I would just pass it on to him & her mum to deal with, this is not your argument, despite the quite quite mad sister trying to blame you.

SugarPasteGreyhound Thu 27-Jun-13 20:21:28

She really is a class A biyotch!

maternitart Thu 27-Jun-13 20:23:38

Go you!

First Aunt? Replace the A with a C and you're pretty much there...

ISeeSmallPeople Thu 27-Jun-13 20:23:44

I foresee demotion from First 'Aunt' to 'Mad, last, are you sure she's related to us? Aunt''

SingingSands Thu 27-Jun-13 20:27:20

Blimey, some people just don't know when to back down graciously, do they?!

I'm starting to feel a bit worried about the sister turning up, what dramatics she might perform on the day. It would be awful if she was to turn the lovely day that you and your friend have planned, into something she would tut and sneer at, and potentially push you out of. She is FIRST AUNT after all!

ZillionChocolate Thu 27-Jun-13 20:30:36

Congratulations! Please don't let either you or DF murder anyone and ruin it all!

AaDB Thu 27-Jun-13 20:32:12

I think silence would kill her.

Terrible cunt deserves a biscuit

diddl Thu 27-Jun-13 20:35:59

Be a bit sad if the sister was accidentally given the wrong date, wouldn't it?

I can't understand at all what type of event the DDP thought he was organising.

Or why sister thinks he should be apologised to.

Has he blacklisted her??!!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 27-Jun-13 20:38:45

<shamelessly marks place>

She as no concept of boundaries does she? Does she know that Fronk has asked you never to darken his doorstep again? I'm not sure how she expects to resolve that one - not that you'd agree in a million years!

monicalewinski Thu 27-Jun-13 20:39:00

Just saw the new thread, I last read when you'd got engaged so have now been swotting up on developments - O.M.G. What a nutter the sister is! Good luck with this latest twist - sure you'll be as awesome as ever though, I'll keep reading and am eagerly awaiting updates (as is all of MN!!).

oh my gosh!

NatashaBee Thu 27-Jun-13 20:42:05

Oh my. She is just Something Else. I agree, it would be terrible if she was given the wrong date.

LittleBearPad Thu 27-Jun-13 20:42:43

Joining the thread. She's a five star bitch and you're great. Don't forget this.

Pimpf Thu 27-Jun-13 20:44:03

Oh my fucking god. This woman just keeps on getting better and better. She obviously has the skin of a rhino. My suggestion would be you send her the link to these threads, it might just get through to her what a stupid, ignorant, grabby, arrogant stupid bitch she is, though probably not.

(Wonder if she feels entitled to park on people's drives......)

AaDB Thu 27-Jun-13 20:44:07

WTAF is a first aunt? Is it like first cousin with the implication that you are one step removed? She has an ego the size of Australia.

OrangeLily Thu 27-Jun-13 20:45:22

Wow... you don't read a thread for a few days and look what happens.

Firstly, congratulations!!! That's lovely news.

Secondly, sister is on a completely different planet. The letting niece know she can dream big is absolutely ridiculous. Maybe she is suffering from some kind of delusional thing?

tedmundo Thu 27-Jun-13 20:50:27

"I am not used to this treatment" .. oh my giddy (first) aunt!

I have now heard it all.

OP - congrats on your engagement. Wishing you both a long, happy marriage.

onedev Thu 27-Jun-13 20:50:32

That sister is shocking - how old is she? Can't believe this is still carrying on!

Can we just send her a link to these threads? Pleeeease!

ChasedByBees Thu 27-Jun-13 20:52:41

Good lord, she's nuts.

DameFanny Thu 27-Jun-13 20:53:21

<<settles in and gets comfy>>

I wonder if some frank (not Fronk) Australian vernacular would go down well?

<<goes off to google strine>>

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Thu 27-Jun-13 20:54:48

She is a terrible cunt. I am astonished! How dare she so flippantly refer to your recent loss in that email! What a terrible, terrible cunt.

Give the email to friend's DH and mother. Let them do the ripping to shreds. It'll be much better coming from them.

Xiaoxiong Thu 27-Jun-13 20:56:49

I've just actually advised a poster on another thread that they have to let the person related to the toxic relative in their life deal with them because otherwise they risk being cast as the nutcase who drove the wedge between the family. In that case it was advising a MNer to let her DH deal with his toxic parents (her ILs).

I think the same principle applies here really - your friend's DH, lovely as he sounds, is vulnerable to being cast as the bad guy and really the only people who can step in decisively are the parents of your friend and her sister.

I just worry that toxic sister will again spin this as "my sister's DH is in cahoots with doubleshot, turning my sister against me, he's behind this really etc etc". And it won't end.

Anyway hopefully her DH will read it, hit the roof, calm down again, and then call his ILs to ask them to tell her to back off.

Mia4 Thu 27-Jun-13 21:00:53

I think the bitch of a sister needs to come over to AIBU, read your threads, announce who she is her and get her arse owned on this one!

Seriously though, what a spoilt, entitled, self absorbed little scab.

SomethingNarstyInTheWoodshed Thu 27-Jun-13 21:01:36

Good Lord!

Hopefully friend's dh chooses to completely ignore her!

If she's ignored by Everton she may feel unable to travel since she hasn't moved forward in the process. grin

What a crazy, bitchy cow bag!

SisterMonicaJoan Thu 27-Jun-13 21:04:56

What a bitch to refer to your loss.

I can understand why DF is so upset.

I am worried about sister turning up and ruining the ceremony for your friend - she sounds the type and already thinks it's all about her.

I'm glad your friend's DH is going to deal with it from here (maybe with some double-stylee input??)

flowers

Mmmnotsure Thu 27-Jun-13 21:06:14

Many congratulations on your engagement, and on being such a good friend.

May I just suggest a bit of caution here? At the risk of sounding like Brewer's Phrase and Fable, two things: 'blood is thicker than water', and 'least said, soonest mended'. I know you will want to be good friends with your friend and her dh for a long time to come, but ime families can be funny things. However close you and your df are at the moment with your friend and her dh, it's always possible that things will crop up in the future which might bind people to their families more than to their friends, however unfair and unreasonable that would seem. So telling her dsis what you think - and fwiw I would want to do that, especially her callous disregarding nod to recent events in your own life - might not work out best in the long run.

I expect you want to kick your friend's dsis into the middle of next week (or come over all South Londongrin). But lots of people have said the same thing - to pass this straight on to her dh and her parents/dm as a family matter - and that really does seem the wisest thing to do. That way you can keep out of it all and be available to continue supporting your friend.

Happily this is the start of good things for you. I am sure you will have a wonderfully happy future, with your df...dh and children.

DameFanny Thu 27-Jun-13 21:06:29

So, she's not to Spit the Dummy because her planner was set to make Rafferty's Rules because at heart he's a Swagman. Your friend's a Game girl who's now organised herself a Bonza Bash, and unless the sister wants to Hit her Kick she needs to stop being a Stickybeak and trying to Drop In her niece's party.

(I'm reading this in the voice of Hermione Bucket)

I'm furious with bonkers sister for making you cry. angry
It's a good job she's still in Oz or she might be descended upon by a horde of angry MNetters!

Lovely to hear you refer to DF instead of DP though. grin

diddl Thu 27-Jun-13 21:22:47

How does the mother getting expensive pressies help the daughter (baby niece) think/dream big??

Doesn't it just say-my naming ceremony wasn't about me??!!

ISeeSmallPeople Thu 27-Jun-13 21:26:25

diddl you are not thinking big enough grin

The lesson from First Aunt is you too can be an uber bitch and profit from screwing your friends and family just like she & Fronk were, until pesky doubleespresso got in the way

fuckwittery Thu 27-Jun-13 21:26:56

Ouch to latest email!
Cant remember if I've posted before on your thread but I've been following it and huge congratulations!

Just wanted to comment if you dont' mind on your issue of your wedding after your fiance's first wife died and her wider family. My cousin died in her mid 30s leaving 2 small boys, we as her family were delighted when her husband married a lovely girl (was only 2 years after), she invites us to all their family dos and vice versa and my family is all v close to her as step mum and wife.
I cant remember if the family were invited or attended the wedding as I live in a different country but definitely would have been pleased to have been asked and I suspect my family members did go as we're so happy to see the boys have a lovely step mum and my cousin's widow happily remarried. You sound equally lovely.

You need to read Part 1 diddl

here

Sorry, diddl, you clearly have. blush

humdumaggapang Thu 27-Jun-13 21:30:00

Thought I had lost this thread and here's part 2. Yay!

Just catching up on the latest. It is very sad but unless friends sis changes her ways she may have to cut off from her for a while for her own well being. Hoping if she still comes over that amends can be made but it seems unlikely given that she is so entitled and awful.

Such a shame when this sort of nonsense happens in families especially as everyone else seems so lovely .

diddl Thu 27-Jun-13 21:35:17

I just can't get over the self centredness of it.

To use your niece as a money spinner/business excercise.

And to bring OPs personal life into itangry

Perhaps OPs friend should text her sister saying she will contact her when ready & not to bother OP.

I agree with posters who have urged caution. Blood is thicker than water and some families have a short memory when it comes to terrible behaviour.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 27-Jun-13 21:40:52

OP you are flipping amazing! Absolutely lovely. The sister is pearly deranged! And I agree with your DF. How fucking dares he mention your MC! I would seriously slap the cow!

diddl Thu 27-Jun-13 21:44:31

Thing is, if the friend really cannot stand up to her sister atm-then why shouldn't her husband?

She does sound an absolute bully.

maybe husband just needs to say that OPs friend will be in touch when she wants?

She really does seem to be in some sort of state to need a planner for the event-unless that's usual for her-and to have sent out the invitations with the gift lists with really no thought that a gift list-and not even for the baby was a bit odd.

Unless she didn't know-can't remember.

wharrgarbl Thu 27-Jun-13 21:45:59

I'd suggest to poisonous sister that she make a quick trip to Bunnings (large hardware chain) where you are sure they can show her a wide range of stepladders, one of which we are sure will be perfect for getting the fuck over herself.

ratbagcatbag Thu 27-Jun-13 21:47:23

Shamelessly marking place waiting for next update from friends DH. smile

ohmeohmyforgotlogin Thu 27-Jun-13 21:48:53

smile wharrgabi

Wonderstuff Thu 27-Jun-13 21:55:37

Another shameless place mark. Unbelievable.

doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 22:04:45

fuckwittery Thank-you that is a wonderful to read message... X

Blatherskite Thu 27-Jun-13 22:07:20

Crikey! I've just read the whole first thread. DFriend's Sister sounds like a loon

doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 22:09:30

DP and Friends DH are now in the pub with the print-off of the email....

I am here waiting.....

Ponders Thu 27-Jun-13 22:13:11

I bet they're annotating it....

hope her ears are burning

MumnGran Thu 27-Jun-13 22:16:51

double.......having zipped over from part 1, have realised I missed you saying that this bloody women made you cry. sad angry

Please don't let her upset you. Block her from contact, and let the people who love you look after YOUR interests a little bit now. You have been more than strong enough.

Plus, if you need it, I suspect there are a multitude of people here who would happily get together to meet her at the airport on arrival......we can wave an appropriately worded banner or two. Or baseball bats.

ClayDavis Thu 27-Jun-13 22:25:32

She's priceless. I've got a feeling you got this e-mail because she's tried with her parents and friend's DP and got nowhere. You're her last ditch attempt to get her money and status back. I think any reply has to come from your friend or her parents and make clear that you are all standing together on this and she is NOT to contact you again.

scrappydappydoo Thu 27-Jun-13 22:43:16

Another person delurking...
Sat and read both threads like this shock
Cannot believe the front of the sis - really glad that everyone is on you (and friends) side.

Plomino Thu 27-Jun-13 22:43:26

It's not often that I'm left speechless , but this has done it for me . It really is all about her isn't it ? And she doesn't give a shit how much she upsets people as long as she gets her way . If ever there was someone who needed her fortune telling with words and gestures , it's her .

I'd be paying the pilot to drop her over the sea somewhere en route over if it were I . Unfuckingbelievable . What is it going to take for her to back the fuck down ? Can we not get Fronk to bring the wishing well back ? Then we can all chip in for an immediate plane ticket back for her. In cattle class .

Vellimetry Thu 27-Jun-13 22:43:35

Obviously she's having real problems being the bad guy here (even though she could have saved face some days ago) and is desperate to rise, phoenix-like, from the ashes. I actually feel quite sorry for her, she's not living in any sort of real world.

All you can do, really is to reply along these lines:
"Thanks for your email. It seems everyone at this end is happy with what's going ahead, so no further help needed.

For obvious reasons, I'm reluctant to get into any family issues so I've passed on your concerns and will leave it to <friend> and <friend's DH>, who will know what's best.

doubleshotespresso"

And just don't respond to any further emails.
I suspect they are going to tell her to save the airfare and stay in Australia, so I wouldn't worry about her on the day.

Vellimetry Thu 27-Jun-13 22:44:36

Of course when I say "I actually feel quite sorry for her", it comes with the proviso that she's a vile, selfish loon grin

She's a bully. Are you prepared for the show down on the day? She's going to be dreadful. Make sure you're ready to smile sweetly and ignore, ignore, ignore...she'll probably self-combust!

doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 22:45:47

MumnGran* the situation made me cry.... Made me realise I have been so wrapped up and determined that my friend will be better and get the day she wants that I had sort of parked the whole MC thing somewhere in my brain.

It was like a thunderbolt dropped out from my computer when I read it.....that's all. I knew it would send DP into orbit but that I would have to tell him. So she and the situation /tiredness made me cry. For a bit- but you know it was a little moment and I don't think anybody at work noticed so that's good...

And baseball bats? Good God, the MN army- can you imagine?

Why is here bloody football on instead of Question Time?

Oh that's a good email Velli...

skyeskyeskye Thu 27-Jun-13 22:48:07

The woman is mad isn't she?! everything they had was so over the top and that gift list made a complete fool out of your friend and caused her great embarrassment!

Greet her at the ceremony with a straight jacket and deliver her to Fronk so they can weep and wAil together over it.....

You have been a fantastic friend throughout and far more of a sister to her than her actual one!

redexpat Thu 27-Jun-13 22:51:33

I stopped reading originally when you'd had coffee with her and were going to help sort it! I'm now up to date and gobsmacked. Congratulations on the engagement. I like it when nice things happen to nice people.

Frogcatcher Thu 27-Jun-13 22:53:15

Big hugs double. That comment is just the lowest thing I have ever heard.

<counting seconds till pub closing time & DF reports back on DH's reaction & plan of action>

skyeskyeskye Thu 27-Jun-13 22:56:42

I had missed where you posted part if the email, have just read it.

What part of *fuck off with your twatty OTT plans" is it that she doesn't understand......

The woman needs a sharp reminder that this is not her day, and that its entirely up to your friend what she plans for the day.

Salvage the original plans ? WTAF is that woman on......

I am really cross now! Your poor friend. Lumbered with a bitch like that for a sister, inferring that her sister can't cope and doesn't know what's best...!!

Well done, double, for being so bloody fantastic, and many congratulations!

The sister sounds like an absolute fucking nutter. I await updates with bated breath. I also wish you every happiness - you definitely deserve it.

AndHarry Thu 27-Jun-13 23:00:19

Just read the email. Unbelievable. Does this woman come from a different planet? She wants an apology?! Jaw on the floor.

I might actually be willing to bet a chocolate coin or two that she organises a rival event with her meedja mates and makes a massive scene when the OP's friends choose the nice one grin

thanks for you OP. You do need some hugs and time for yourself too.

So glad to see updates on this!

Congratulations OP, both on your successful encounter with DDP and your engagement!

Friend's sister is horrid. Absolutely horrid. What a nasty thing to write. Though I actually expect that she knew exactly what she was doing by bringing it up!

WafflyVersatile Thu 27-Jun-13 23:03:35

Just read your other thread for the first time. Flabbergasted here at the sister's email.

I suspect in the sister's head you two are being so unreasonable because of hormones and she is trying her bestest to be understanding of that whilst still standing her ground in wanting an apology and control of the event so it's suitably grabby and vain ambitious.

WafflyVersatile Thu 27-Jun-13 23:04:03

Oh and many, many congratulations on your engagement! smile

ZacharyQuack Thu 27-Jun-13 23:05:24

I would assume that First Aunt (FA?) means she gets First Choice of the gift list presents, and First Cut of the commission.

Congratulations on your engagement and I'm sorry that FA dragged you into her atrociousness.

Vellimetry Thu 27-Jun-13 23:08:09

Is anyone else fascinated by the family history? I'd love to know how these two sisters ended up with such a weird relationship.
I mean, I know the friend has been having a hard time, but personally if it were me, hard times make me much more aware of people trying to take over or direct me - no way would I have just let these things happen. I'm not making a judgement, it just has an odd ring to it. Is this an older, more dominant sister?

doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 23:11:24

Zachary that is so funny.... Maybe we should call her Sweet FA now huh? smile

Just got a text "leaving pub now...... Both walking back -have we got any cheese?"

This translates to "^drank more than I planned to..... Can you please make a pile of cheese toasties?"^

When I'm done grating cheese, I will update you all!

WhiteBirdBlueSky Thu 27-Jun-13 23:14:16

Well she's unhinged. I think you need to tell your friend she's sent it, but play down your trauma. You don't want to inflame the situation. But don't respond.

It's your friend's job to tell her sister she doesn't want her to organise the christening. I appreciate she might not feel up to a confrontation though?

BlackeyedSusan Thu 27-Jun-13 23:15:06

agggghhhhhh finally caught up on the details and I want to go to bed... but .....

larlemucker Thu 27-Jun-13 23:17:25

Just caught up sped read other thread!

you're a truly amazing friend, so sorry to hear of your loss but congrats on the engagement.

I think sister needs to be told to bog off and not bother coming

The sister must have been a problem for years. I bet they were so glad she fucked off to Oz. I'm another one who thinks that passing it on to friend's H and family is the best thing to do, though someone upthread had a nice suggestion along the lines of 'Thanks but don't put yourself out any further, everything's sorted.'

CookieLady Thu 27-Jun-13 23:25:23

I'm rarely lost for words but your friend's sister sounds bat shit crazy.

happyyonisleepyyoni Thu 27-Jun-13 23:29:03

Did the family buy the sister a ONE WAY ticket to Oz previously, by any chance....?

Shamelessly grating cheese smile

humdumaggapang Thu 27-Jun-13 23:39:01

A short email like solid gold brass suggested would do the trick. She obviously wants a passionate reaction. Giving her a flippant one would be just the thing I reckon and would love to be a fly on the wall when she read it and steam came out of her ears

doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 23:39:51

They just got back..... DF looks relieved...... Friends DH looks ashen faced and quite boozy....

Cheese toasties under the grill- I guess I will hear the plan as they chomp away......

Bear with me! Sorry ......

Mmmmmm I'd love a cheese toastie.....

WhiteBirdBlueSky Thu 27-Jun-13 23:44:54

Sorry, I'd missed you that you were delling her DH. Good move.

doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 23:55:49

This is all very sad nut I think for the best probably.

Friends DH is very steely and has "been taken beyond his patience levels".

So- he will be emailing the sister and telling her the following.

- She will not be a "Special adult" for the baby.
-he would prefer if she did not attend.
-That she ceases contact with his him and his wife and us.
-he will outline just how she has "deeply offended everybody involved".
- he does not care a jot if she is offended at all, he is beyond offended and wants very different things for the baby than she seems to.

Apparently he phoned our friends mother from the pub and explained all of the email and his i tentions. Mother agrees that the sister has behaved appallingly and that the naming ceremony wold be hindered if she attends.

He will talk to our friend tomorrow before sending email and let her know all the above as he says they had already discussed asking her to step down. This is the last straw for him...

I feel sick...... This is awful.shock

doubleshotespresso Thu 27-Jun-13 23:58:19

The email address the sister contacted me on today was set up just for the purposes of organising the ceremony and taking control away from the DDP, so once the event is done she will have no method of contacting me or DF again anyway which is a relief.

Sorry this took so long to update-today has been a long day!

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 00:00:23

He just said he will close the email with a request for an apology from her for the offence, stress and worry she has caused! Never mind sending her own sister into meltdown....

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 00:01:46

FGS! Now DSS1 wants a toastie!

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 00:02:21

Which means in approximately 5 minutes so will DSS2!

BlackeyedSusan Fri 28-Jun-13 00:02:58

such a shame that it has come to this. she has brought it on herself though.

MsPickle Fri 28-Jun-13 00:03:20

Oh double, I understand your sadness. After you've clearly worked so hard to make your family into a tightly, united by love, unit to watch someone throw that away must be very painful. Sounds like the only option now but hopefully, given time, she will realise that she was batshit crazy and will find a way to mend bridges.

Hugs for you all.

On another note, how about a south London meet up MNrs so we can toast double properly?

Ponders Fri 28-Jun-13 00:03:47

yes, it is awful, & very sad for the whole family

but there doesn't seem to be any other way forward really. she is existing on a different level of reality from everybody else.

sad

Wow double! I hope I've got a friend like you should I need one. Nasty sister, horrible situation. Hope all sorts itself out soon and you get chance to relax and focus on nice things.

Ponders Fri 28-Jun-13 00:04:50

ooooh, cheese toasties after midnight for adolescents will give them weird dreams grin

Nessalina Fri 28-Jun-13 00:05:34

Wow. That's pretty severe, but totally appropriate given what a total psycho cow Sweet FA has been. She needs to hear it hard or she won't hear it at all! I'm so impressed that you resisted emailing her back direct especially when she was so invasive about what you've been going through. You are my new restraint role model!! God, just think what your friend would be going through now if you hadn't stepped up to help!!

evelynj Fri 28-Jun-13 00:06:14

Don't feel sick, this is best for everyone. She would have tainted the day & you couldn't have joked about the alternative with her there. This way it won't be awful if someone mentions it.

She can rebuild bridges with her family later if she gets a personality transplant. LOL at sweet FA!

You can hold your head up high at all you, your DF and friend and her DH & extended families have done. Good friends are hard to find and most families have a nutter so don't worry about it and enjoy!

I know the MN habit of diagnosing people online can sometimes be annoying, but this sister sounds like a narcissistic personality. She probably bullied the rest of the family for years before moving to Oz.

ANyway, well done Double, good luck with everything.

WhiteBirdBlueSky Fri 28-Jun-13 00:07:06

Cheese toastie would be lovely.

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 00:11:55

It is very sad to think this has happened. But if I know FDh he will not be budged now on this.... He says friend was dreading seeing her anyway,mI just wonder where this goes in years to come for two sisters?

But for now I am off to bed. DP and FDH still gassing. I have to get horizontal...... Thanks everybody, will read posts properly in the morning....

DoJo Fri 28-Jun-13 00:15:42

Dear Lord - what a fricking performance! Have just caught up with everything that has happened and can agree wholeheartedly with all the posters who have
a) congratulated you on your engagement (first things first!)
b) pointed out what a fab friend you are
c) enjoyed the unfolding saga of the DDP
d) been horrified at the way your friend's sister has treated her
e) been horrified some more at the way the sister has treated you
f) whooped and cheered at the way you have dealt with everyone
g) been thoroughly pleased that it sounds like everything is going to be ok and that the sister is not going to be given the opportunity to fuck things up for anyone else.

I think that about covers it, but just in case: you rock; your friend's lucky to have you; her sister's a twat; your wedding will be awesome; almost everyone on MN now wants a cheese toastie!

roundtheback Fri 28-Jun-13 02:40:06

There's something fishy going on here. The sister has got some kind of vested interest in this event.

For example, has your friend actually seen the whole guest list that Fronk and sister came up with? Could she have invited business contacts in order to showcase her own business?

I'm not sure exactly what, but there is more to this than the sister is owning up to.

is this out of character for the sister?

just seems very, very strange.

You've done the right thing. OP
I'm sure, from what you've said, that your friend's DH will sober up before he emails FA?

diddl Fri 28-Jun-13 08:44:27

How horribly sad.

But then how could the sister think that invitations with a gift list for the mum was anything other than wrong?

I think that OP said on the other thread that the items on the gift list were linked to her own business?

Or from company/ies she was hoping to become associated with-or did I dream that?

Either way, as I put earlier, to use your own niece and sisiter as a business opportunity-justshockandsad

beginnings Fri 28-Jun-13 08:49:38

Do you know who I feel the most sorry for here? Your friends DPs. Can you imagine how mortified they must be to have raised someone who thinks it's ok to behave like this.

The long term implications of this are very sad.

WingDefence Fri 28-Jun-13 08:51:34

What a sad state of affairs. Serves the sister right for trying to mix business and family (ie rip family off for her own greed) but it's your DFriend who is going to lose out because of this vile behaviour.

Thank goodness she has you, your DF, her DH and, by the sounds of it, a lovely DMum too to support her.

my gob is smacked wtaf

ThedementedPenguin Fri 28-Jun-13 09:00:08

I really can't believe it.

Although in a way it doesn't surprise me. I have a sister who is very like this. It's very hurtful and gets very very annoying after a while.

I'm so glad that your friend has you, your df and her husband to stand up for her against her sister. She has and is acting appalling.

I hope you both a lot of luck in dealing with this all.

ithaka Fri 28-Jun-13 09:01:29

It is so sad, but the most important thing is that your friend is completely on board with cutting her sister out like this. I am sorry if I strike a discordant note on this thread, but I am a bit uncomfortable about the way her DH is making that decision for her.

I know she has not been well and has had a new baby, but it is starting to feel a bit like that is being used as a reason to infantilise her and make decisions 'for her own good'.

Sibling relationships can be dark and complex but they also run very deep. I think the DH needs let his wife decide for herself what she wishes with her sister in relation to this event and the future, without pushing his opinion so strongly.

wharrgarbl Fri 28-Jun-13 09:01:41

roundtheback There's something fishy going on here. The sister has got some kind of vested interest in this event.
I think that's been established beyond all doubt in the previous thread. There were definitely kickbacks from the planner, and most likely from the suppliers as well. Sister has all the moral fortitude of a dunny rat. She has in fact reaped what she sowed, however sad it is.

Aw, you still sound like the loveliest person ever - interpreting your DH's need for cheese toasties and making them for everyone!!

I'm sorry this situation has descended back into darkness and chaos after it was all going so well. But you're an amazing friend, and it must be a huge relief that F's family have your back so completely.

Let's hope that one day F's sister has an awakening and realises how appallingly she's behaved.

Guerrillacrochet Fri 28-Jun-13 09:16:56

Hope you've had a good kip double. I was shock to read the crazy FA development. She obviously can't cope with the focus being away from her for a minute.
I'm sure that your FDH will talk to her about it before he emails the FA (unless he did it last night, fired up on beer and cheese toasties) and that she will probably be relieved even if she is upset about the way things have gone. I bet she was dreading it with the sister- and she absolutely would have if she'd seen that email.
I agree sibling relationships are complicated and run very deep- if it can be healed I am sure it will, when the time is right.

TanglednotTamed Fri 28-Jun-13 09:17:24

Could she have invited business contacts in order to showcase her own business?

I think roundtheback might be on to something here!

humdumaggapang Fri 28-Jun-13 09:19:27

Due to the manner in which my DD was conceived (using donor) my bastard of a brother has cut himself off from the family due to his beliefs. It is unbelievably sad my DD will never get to know her uncle. However I would not want such a toxic person in her life. It has broken my mum's heart though. Before sending the email the family really need to consider the long term implications of this action and whether they are prepared for this sort of thing to happen. Yes bridges can be built later, but this can also be the kind of thing that goes on for years . Only they can decide if that is really the best course of action. Good luck to you all. X

buildingmycorestrength Fri 28-Jun-13 09:20:23

I am glad that friend's DH will have a chance to sober up and calm down before speaking to her.

He must have been absolutely incandescent with rage last night but better to take those decisions in the cold light of day, and consider how to frame it with your friend.

Your friend will probably be devastated and mortified that her sister has been such an idiot again and hurt and insulted you. sad

Perhaps consider ways to limit the damage done emotionally? Like getting a big picture of her and throwing darts at it, and burning her email ritualistically ...to get it all out of your system? grin.

Nanny0gg Fri 28-Jun-13 09:23:46

I'm so glad that this potential shambles event is going to turn out well, and I'm really pleased for Double's happy news too.

But I do feel sorry for the mum of the two sisters. I would be devastated if I was her, knowing what upset one of her children has caused the other.

TakingTheStairs Fri 28-Jun-13 09:31:30

<waves pom poms furiously>

I am officially on Team DoubleShotEspresso

Who is with me? <waits to pass out pom poms>

AllThatGlistens Fri 28-Jun-13 09:39:28

Oh dear god.. Have just caught up with both threads and I'm just staggered at how appallingly the sister has behaved! shock

Wow.. You really couldn't make this stuff up could you? Just outrageous and so incredibly insensitive to have written that email, what a vile, crass woman angry

So sad for the family that have to deal with her behaviour but bravo to your friends DH for refusing to put up with it.

FridaKarlov Fri 28-Jun-13 09:39:56

Delurking to boggle at the brass neck of that bloody sister!

QueenofallIsee Fri 28-Jun-13 09:42:16

Much like Frida, am boggling at the audacity! Just...WOW

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 09:49:22

That's good that friends husband is taking over on behalf of both of them, as frend is in no fit state to stand up to her sister. I hope tat the day is wonderful for te family and tat it won't be tarnished by the sisters craziness. Please keep us updated smile

MostlyCake Fri 28-Jun-13 09:59:17

Have just sat and read the whole thread from start to finish! Double you are awesome! You have literally saved the day for your friend, you're engaged and make cheese toasties!!

I do think you are doing the right thing by not replying to FA, she really sounds like she is from another planet... I thought people like that were just made up for shows like Ugly Betty or OK! magazine....I never thought for a second they were real!!

I salute your friend's DH for sticking up for his wife! (and your DF for sticking up for you, too). So often on MN you read about situations where the husband/partner won't step up and do that.

Don't feel sick at the sister not coming, it looks like it is absolutely for the best AND she brought it on herself, totally. Bridges can be built again in the future (as someone said, when's she's had a personality transplant)

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 28-Jun-13 10:16:43

This has kept me reverted, your friend is a lucky lady to have you.

I can't say I blame FDH. I think sister is very lucky to live in Oz!

But I agree with PP who have sympathy for their parents. I'd be so devastated to see one daughter treat another so abominably.

I do have to say I agree with Ithaka about the need to be sure the friend is OK with cutting her sister off completely. Even if the sister is completely toxic, it's up to the friend not her H to decide on something like that.

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 11:11:31

Solid the sister has already done tat single handedly by her appealing behaviour. She has upset her parents and her sister, mabey it is better tat the sisters do not speak until all this is over and te friend Is in the right frame of mind. The friends husband has every right to pull the sister up on her behaviour an mabey it is better if sn does not coe excuse she clearly cannot b trusted not to ruin it. They ound like polar opposites tbh, I don know how their relationship was like before and when they were growing up. Mabey they might patch things up in the future but since is best for now.

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 11:12:04

Silence doh

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 11:12:49

Meant it is better if the sister does not come to the event

ithaka Fri 28-Jun-13 11:21:37

Nonetheless, it is not the DH's sister, so it is easy for him to take the hard line - he has nothing to lose. His wife is not a child, it is up to her whether she wishes to speak to her sister, disinvite her from the event etc, not her husband.

SixPackWellies Fri 28-Jun-13 11:23:25

marking place shamelessly. grin

diddl Fri 28-Jun-13 11:25:53

Well if I was vulnerable, I'd hope my husband would step up for me!

We are not joined at the hip, but I would allow him to speak for me if I felt unable to iyswim.

ithaka Fri 28-Jun-13 11:31:05

That is fine, if you wish him to. I am not aware that she has been given a choice - she has not seen an email from her sister that her DH & his male friend have seen, got drunk with, and thn decided what to do for her own good.

My point is, she should get to make these decisions. If she then wants her DH to speak to her sister on her behalf, fine. But don't keep her in the dark like a child. There is a line between caring and controlling - the sister crossed the line big time, but it seems to me the DH's behaviour is now shading across.

That is just my view, I don't want to derail a wonderful supportive thread.

Pixieonthemoor Fri 28-Jun-13 11:34:04

Well, I thought that nothing in life would shock me anymore but that email from the friends sister has left me gasping! I am so so sorry that she has upset you. I am also sorry that she has caused such a rift in the family but frankly she only has herself to blame. She sounds unhinged and I worry that she will never understand the colossal wrong she has done which will be necessary for a rapprochement in later years.

Life is great in the way it teaches you new things all the time. This thread has taught me how to be a much better friend. I am learning from your amazing example Double you have been utterly wonderful and a total rock for your friend in her time of need even though you are in a time of need yourself. You absolutely rock and I hope to be as good a friend to someone one day (although I wouldn't wish what has happened to your friend on anyone!)

double - I have read the entire first thread in one go as it was gripping and emotional and brilliant and fantastic and gobsmackingly awful and jump up and down with excitement all rolled into one.

In no particular order -
1. I was so sorry to read about your loss, and I know it's probably not the done thing on MN but I think you need a hug so here you go {{HUGS}}
2. I think you are just brilliant.
3. Massive congratulations to you and your DF
4. You are a real friend to your friend, don't ever forget that.
5. Your friend's sister is bonkers. Totally. Completely. Forget being a few sandwiches short of a picnic, she seems to have forgotten the entire f*^king picnic to be honest.
6. You don't need a wedding planner for your own wedding - you are your own wedding planner and the day will be beautiful.
7. To the bonkers sister - Some people like 'Vanilla' so there! grin

I'm posting this having gotten to pg 3 of 6 (at the moment) - I'll carry on from there and see what else has happened in the meantime.

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 11:52:31

ithaka the point you have raised is valid, it is partly why I felt so sick last night, but here is some additional background for you....

I would agree in an ideal world that my friend should have sight of the email..... But the factis this. When this whole saga began and I went that day for coffee, she was barely functioning. She has been very ill throughout her pregnancy and remains to be so with a type of diabetes that only comes with being pregnant. Due to this she was a walking zombie, sleep deprived, emotional at not being a good Mum and totally overwhelmed at the daily chores running a house, looking after her older DSS and a new baby that had cried constantly for weeks.

She has in the last fortninght made vast improvements and doctors are now looking at how they can medicate properly, but she is still very weak.

An email from her sister questioning the state of her marriage, questioning her own judgement, referring to her friends MC, accusing her of damaging sisters business etc is not going to do anything but derail her. Nobody is treating her like a child, they are doing what people do when they love somebody and can see they are broken. They are protecting her until she regains the necessary strength to contend with it.

I utterly understand your conerns, but believe me her DH has not taken this decsion ligtly, he is talking to her this morning and will simply tell her he does not want her sister closely involved with their baby for now. Anybody who has read this thread I am sure will agree that is not unreasonable. She will not be kept completely in the dark, her mother will I am sure manage the situation further..... But the health of my friend and her baby are the focus of any decisions (right or wrong) made.

Friend has in the last week discussed removing sister from the plans with DH as she was "dreading seeing her".

Hope this explains things fully for you.......it is sad, but I guess for the best.

Am just reading the pther posts, but wanted to clarify things on this point first..... Will update further in a bit. Thanks everybody for all the congratulations and wise and witty words as always! blush

WafflyVersatile Fri 28-Jun-13 11:54:26

He's already discussed some of it with Friend and the OP says he will show it to her before he sends it.

Also this email was not sent to Friend it was sent to the OP. The OP could have replied without consulting any of them if she'd wanted.

It's FDH's child and ceremony too so he has a 50% say in who comes and who is 'special adult' anyway.

WafflyVersatile Fri 28-Jun-13 11:55:19

oh, xpost.

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 11:57:34

I guess that she should have even shown the e mail, and make a decision abut her sister from then, if she wants her husband to speak to her on her behalf as she can't face her than tats up to her. The husband Has every right to pull sister on her beaviour in regards to their families event and to tell her to back off from it, its his babys Christening too. From reading te previous thread, it sounds as though that is what his wife also wants bu is not in a position to say that to her.

Ok - got to page 6 and saw that FDH has decided to take the steps to protect his wife from Bonkers Sister.
I echo what Lily Amaryllis wrote :-
Don't feel sick at the sister not coming, it looks like it is absolutely for the best AND she brought it on herself, totally.
Bonkers Sister just didn't know when or where to draw the line on this.
If Bonkers Sister was genuinely concerned about her own sister, who was and is ill, she would have tried to visit sooner or made efforts to do that. She didn't.
She seems to be all about the money (Did Jessie J write that song about her, do you know?) and nothing about the bonds of family or friendship.

I still think you are great!

TakingTheStairs throw us over a pom-pom so I can join Team DoubleShotEspresso please! smile

BlueberryHill Fri 28-Jun-13 12:04:40

doublrshot is there anyone else who could help your friend out, I was thinking of her parents or PIL or could they get in some professional help to take some of the load from her so that she can focus on herself?

I think that in a strong relationship, not one that is usually controlling, a partner should be able to step in and say that in this instance they will make the decision to take a particular action and take responsibility for it. I hope, and I'm pretty sure that my DH would do that it required. there are times when that is the appropriate thing to do .

As the friends mother has been informed and agrees with the action in this case, it sounds an appropriate course of action.

Good luck and I wish your friend well.

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 12:08:11

I totally agree op you are all doing te best to help her as she is extremely vulnerable health and psychological wise and I think in these circumstances it is wise to have nothing to do with this very toxic person at the moment, until after the event and when friend is a bit better. it is great tat dh is acting on his wife's behalf and with her best interests at heart

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 12:10:54

The sister seems not to care one jot about her sisters health, but making it all about her. That is not good for this very vulnerable lady, the most important things to her now are getting better and her dh and baby not the self centred narcissistic sister

SimoneDeBeaver Fri 28-Jun-13 12:14:09

Oh For The Love of God!

She is un-fucking-believable.

PLEASE just send her a link to these threads and then block? grin

SimoneDeBeaver Fri 28-Jun-13 12:15:34

But I know you are far bigger and more mature than I would be gringrin

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 12:25:40

Ok so had a few phone calls this morning which have reassured me well....

-friends DH has spoken to my friend who is "actually tangibly relieved" that sister will now not be coming. He has emailed her a very formal response which he CC'd me into, so she can see he has copied me in. It basically expresses deep regret, soul-searching etc and states the decision was very well-considered but viewed as the only option. It also details very clearly how detrimental her behaviour has been and he questions why she chose to behave so appallingly.He will call her to discuss whether or not she wishes to meet them for lunch when she visits in an attempt to see if she wishes to try and rebuild the relationship with our friend. He makes clear that any meeting will need to be positive and civil. And that the sister is not to contact anybody but their mother at this stage.

-Friends mother has phoned to explain she will be talking to the sister and flag the damage hat has already been done and that how things move in the future entirely hinges upon how she conducts herself towards our friend. She has spoken to our friend today and agrees that whilst sad, she is relieved....

-friend has phoned (she and baby are due to come over later when I am finished working I will collect them). She says she knows "there's been a lot happening, but DH glossed over stuff for her, but she feels pleased that Sweet FA is now not coming." She knows the was an email received and that DH told her it was so offensive he did not want her to read it. She can "deal without all her crap" until the ceremony is over se says.

So as is our weekly ritual we will be drinking tea this afternoon and catching up before all the kids arrive home/get collected and then film night commences. There will be the usual debate that DSD inevitably loses with 3 teenage boys who always end up winning their film choice but hey nothing is ever perfect. For now though routine is restored and my friend is still on the mend......

just marking my place, don't mind me...

I think it's awful how she flippantly referred to your MC like it was some minor inconvenience, but obviously the most important issue is her being put upon wrt the DDP.

sad sad sad angryangryangry

Ponders Fri 28-Jun-13 12:32:46

that all sounds very constructive & positive, double, & I'm glad to hear your friend is happy with what's been done

more thanks for you (& for FDH & for FDM smile)

(& lolol at SweetFA, wish I'd thought of that grin)

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 12:40:52

To answer some queries from previous posts regarding the sister here goes:

-Yes the sister has a business (media type of stuff) which represents the companies who have items which were detailed on the gift list. We did some digging on this and it seems a lot of personal concierge/lifestyle management companies (I know I Know!) operate lists like this and the companies pay for being featured.... All very alien to me (as were the gifts tbh) so yes the sister was due to earn from this in addition to a "Finders Fee for DDP" and also commission from the suppliers of all the entertainment and flowers etc.

-Am pretty sure this is not common practice for most normal families in Australia, seems more likely to be a money-spinner dreamt up by the sister and DDP than an Oz trend!

-according to friend and her mother, the sister has always been very abrasive and quite self-absorbed, but not to this level before. It sounds as though her company is successful though and she has become worse in the last couple of years. The two sisters are not at all close, my friend is however very close to her brother (who is lovely and nothing like the sister!)

diddl Fri 28-Jun-13 12:42:02

All sounds pretty positive.

Perhaps the friend & her sister weren't that close, so it's not too big a blow.

My sis is nothing like this, we get on very well when we see each other, but don't miss each other when we don't iyswim.

So in all honesty, if I cut her out, it wouldn't really impact.

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 12:43:39

Ponders we realised late last night that Sweet FA is probably a name we should drop or keep in text only as it is not something we want our combined teenagers to regard as normal. But as friends DH said mid cheese toastie "just has the perfect ring to it though eh?"

Wylye Fri 28-Jun-13 12:44:14

Been lurking, but just had to say: how fantastic that you and your friend have such supportive partners and parents! I know the outcome is sad, as no one wants to cut a relative out, but I've been very impressed at how you've all behaved - no-ones stood for FAs shit, you've all called her (and DDP) on it, instead of sweeping it under the carpet.
Also, brilliant for your SC to see it, good for them to know they've got a lion in their corner should the need arise.

thanks wine all round, + [standing ovation]

Congratulations on your engagement too! I wondered if your DP had been planning it for a while, or was spurred on by seeing you in lioness mode action and thought "I must marry this woman ASAP!" grin

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 12:48:24

Oh! And completely forgot, I know most people do this stuff regularly, but this is a real treat for me, I never go to salons really....

Now I have the ring, I thought I really should do something with my nails.

So am off very soon for a Shellac manicure-my first ever- am so excited it is ridiculous...... Not really sure what Shellac does but went for it as they said it lasts longer.

I am so rock and roll!

EasterHoliday Fri 28-Jun-13 12:51:00

this may be a leap too far, but the sister sounds like a raging cokehead to be that self absorbed and self important... wonder if she's so into her meejia job she's hoovering industrial quantities of showbiz sugar and therefore really doesn't know which way is up? not making excuses, but it could be an explanation...

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 12:52:48

Wylye that is funny I asked DP this the other day.... He said he had been thinking about it for a while and he was out in the car with the twin DSSs and one of them piped up he "should get it sorted soon everyone thinks you are married anyway"

And yes all this saga he says prompted him to do it as he says he wants me officially on his side now he has seen what I can be like with the opposition! I laughed and cried at that bit!

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 12:55:43

So sweet FA was using her sisters event as an opportunity for doing business, self promotion under te guise of giving her niece the best, nice. All this without her sisters knowledge and consent, she has nobody to blame for the break down of her relationship with her sister but herself! Seems like the sisters were never really close so ave nothing to loose. The sweet FA onthe other had has upset ad angered many people close to her, she deserves all that she gets

SueDoku Fri 28-Jun-13 13:02:28

I have read through these threads with a huge roller-coaster of emotions... Joy for you and your DP (DF!), horror and incredulity at the wicked and selfish behaviour of the self-styled 'First Aunt' - hahahaha - sympathy for your friend & her DH, awe and admiration at your help, tact, forcefulness and kindness, pity for your friend's parents - as someone said above, they must feel awful at what their one daughter has tried to do to her sister - and above all the great feeling that you get when cheering on the hero of a blockbuster -- you are Indiana Jones & Superman rolled into one, and it's great to have the satisfying feeling that the good guy has won the battle against the dark forces..... You can tell that I've got a DS who's a Star Wars fanatic, can't you...?? grin. Enjoy your tea, and the MN army will be out in force with their baseball bats if you need us - just send up the Bat-signal..... flowers

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 13:02:37

piglet yes I am afraid so. We got confirmation on this when we did some digging with the help of the hotel manager, really disgusting I was heartbroken when I had to explain this to my friend. Thank God we jumped in when we did....

Easter never considered that-but you could be right. I really do not know the sister well enough to judge but she does move in some very showbiz and media type circles.... Does that make you behave so mentally? I thought it just kept you awake? confused God I am jot in touch with these things at all!

TheDoctrineOfAllan Fri 28-Jun-13 13:03:29

Well done OP!

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 13:05:55

That is just so low, understandably her sister is hurt and upset. Hopefully the family will have te day that they want without sweet FA ruining everything

Wylye Fri 28-Jun-13 13:07:24

grin Well, all I can say is, wise man!!

Re FA, from reading her bizarro emails, I wondered if she'd been either in counselling or was perhaps a self-help book addict - a lot of those phrases are very particular to that genre... All that bollocks about needing an apology for her to move on with her process etc... confused
I hope she doesn't cause more stress when she's over in the UK for her visit, thank goodness she lives in Oz and not round the corner!

Thumbwitch Fri 28-Jun-13 13:09:52

Oh my goodness - what a drama!!
So glad that your friend's mum has taken a sensible stance on all of this and I really hope she takes her other DD to task over what kind of shallow acquisitive thoughtless bitch she has become (as only a mother can!)

I am also glad that your friend's DH backed off on the "No further contact" thing with the Mad Sister - she might change later on and it would be a shame if things were irreparably broken by then. OTOH, she might not - and a future "no contact" thing might have to be set up.

While it is ostensibly sad that family fractures occur, I think it's important to think about what type of person is involved and how beneficial contact with them would be - for instance, my BIL is an antisocial alcoholic loser - I am not at all bothered that my DSs won't be having anything to do with him, although I am a little sad that they miss out on having an uncle and any first cousins over here (he's never going to find a partner now, so no children).

Given what sort of person the Mad Sister has shown herself to be, I'd doubt that she'd be any loss, tbh.

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 14:03:14

Just looked at the old thread and seen that there was a message deleted at the end.... Anybody see it? Why would it get deleted?

Curious!

Waiting to get nails done wahey!

Fiderer Fri 28-Jun-13 14:07:42

Some goady self-satisfied idiot gleefully claiming she didn't believe it all - rightfully deleted.

TheDoctrineOfAllan Fri 28-Jun-13 14:07:50

I think someone said she didn't believe a word!

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 14:14:13

Ok glad that was all, was racking my rains as to what they must hVe said that was sooo bad to get deleted. Nothing exciting. Oh well!

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 14:14:49

Sorry! One handed typing not good is it?

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 14:26:15

The term sweetvFA used to describe te new event 'very vanilla' sums up Sweet FA perfectly, self obsessed, self absorbed ad utterly superficial

BOF Fri 28-Jun-13 16:19:50

You can call her Fanny Adams. That's the clean version of Sweet FA.

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 16:39:30

BOF very good yes! I will pass this on! wink

busymum1 Fri 28-Jun-13 17:06:44

Just found part 2 will read this section soon thanks

Double: OK, I can see that friend is seriously vulnerable so in this case it probably is better for her H to take over. Hope she is better soon.

I also agree with whoever suggested Sweet Fanny Adams might be too close a pal of Charlie. It does have that effect (total unreasonable self-absorption) especially on people who were already fairly up themselves and inclined to bully in the first place.

I can't believe she more concerned about the money/client she may or may not lose then her sister/neices health and welfare.

I hope your friend parents give her a rocket up her backside about her chronic bad behaviour. And her sister apologises to your friend and her husband as well.

Oh my giddy (first) aunt.

Friend's husband really is a keeper. The kind of gatekeeper, in fact, that is invaluable with a newborn.

PhoebeC Fri 28-Jun-13 18:31:31

Am I the only person who is beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with this thread?

OP I agree with everyone else that you have been a great friend and I'm glad that you have been able to help your friend get away from the planner and start to take back control.

But you are putting an awful lot of personal detail on this thread and it's not really your information to share, or at least not just yours. This is your friend's family, and potentially a huge event in their lives, that you are chosing to share on a public forum. I know you said way back that your friend doesn't use MN, but can you be sure that her sister doesn't or that mutual friends don't? There is certainly more than enough detail for your friend and her party to be recognisable. How would your friend, who you say yourself is very vulnerable, feel knowing that a bunch of strangers know every detail of her trauma? Or how would she feel if someone mentioned this thread at the party?

I'm sure this won't be a popular post, but I just felt it needed saying.

LalaLeona Fri 28-Jun-13 19:07:41

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 19:10:09

phoebeC you are right to raise this and much earlier on it was discussed at maybe deleting the original thread. That is something I will think on.

Friend does not use MN and neither we can be sure does her sister......

In terms of mutual friends, no I don't think so ether, have discussed your point with DF who thinks the chances are slim.... Friend and I both have step children in their teens and the fellow Mums are not guests at either the naming ceremony or our wedding.... We are just not on those terms. The majority of those attending we doubt use MN..... But of course there is a risk yes....

To be honest it was not until we needed a new thread I realised how popular this has become (in comparison to other threads) it is quite overwhelming, and really thought it had naturally come to an end. Of course the email brought fresh news to it and so I suppose gathered momentum again.

It has been a huge support to me in a very testing time, so thought I would update with the news of the email. Sorry if this offended you, but thought previous posters would be interested to read on....

And it does not matter if your posts are popular, I came on here originally to seek opinion (good and bad wink) and appreciate anybody who takes the time to offer their valid, considered and polite opinion. As you have done..... I will consider this more later.... Thank-you thanks for thinking of my friend which of course is the reason the thread began!

LalaLeona Fri 28-Jun-13 19:13:03

Hmmm..

Glad to hear that your friend's mum has been in touch.

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 19:17:51

lalaLeona don't you just live up to your name?

I workba very full-time job, am partner and fiance to DF and step-mother to 3 kids..... One thing I wold never describe myself as is bored! Or in a dream world...... I would love to get more sleep though.....

To best describe it for you, the attention is not what I craved, but I will not lie the therapeutic element of posting this thread has made a very tough weeks less so.

Not sure what you find hard to believe and am much less bothered if you do or not, your call of course. And you wait until now? Hmmmmm.....

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

La la la la la la la.......

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 19:18:49

Sauvignon thanks again.

buildingmycorestrength Fri 28-Jun-13 19:27:04

double ignore, ignore, ignore. thanks

I have reported her post. Troll-hunting is not allowed on MN.

I don't actually think anyone COULD make up the sister. grin.

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 19:30:41

Thanks ...... I had to do a search on here I thought trolls were journalists, but have learnt differently. Oh well........ And buildingmycorestrength you are right.... You could not make it up honestly!

For you! thanks

Maybe lalaLeona is humming because she doesn't know the words? Or maybe not.hmm

MumnGran Fri 28-Jun-13 19:33:29

double ... just thought, as you read through some of the ...errrm...'differing' posts here, that you may want to be reminded of The Parapet Principle.

From the same scientific camp as Sods Law & Murphys Law, it postulates that :
those who inadvertently stick their heads over the parapet by attracting positive attention and popularity, will inevitably attract those unable to accept that anyone should deserve such attention or popularity, and will thus seek to redress the balance with negative input.

[grins]

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 19:39:19

Mumngran wow...... I will show that post to DF.......

Though he does not deserve it..... He just dunked feckin PRINGLES in my not yet ready for the bread garlic butter!!! No patience or shame!

MumnGran Fri 28-Jun-13 19:45:10

.......and you are intending to actually MARRY this philistine?!?!?!?!
That's a whole other thread double grin

evelynj Fri 28-Jun-13 19:49:01

I like the parapet principle mumngran-so true, must remember it!

I'm delurking from the thread now-(feeling finny twinges & worried labour coming without a second check of my hospital bag!)

Just want to say thanks for the entertainment, restoring faith in humanity & the generally happy ending. Hope the wedding plans go well & please post about all future drama-maybe you should start a blog? ;)

Take care & good luck!

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 20:01:35

Mumngran I know! Outrageous behaviour on a Friday evening...... Cold garlic butter! Eurgh!!!

evelynj BEST OF LUCK!!!

onedev Fri 28-Jun-13 20:12:31

I am in utter disbelief at SweetFA (& not in a troll hunting way). I honestly can't believe anyone would act like that & certainly not towards their own sister. It really is shocking.

It's so good your friend has you & glad the thread has helped you.

olidusUrsus Fri 28-Jun-13 20:31:37

Pokes nose in

Helloooo... I was reading the other thread when it started but I've lost track with what's gone on. Would someone be so kind as to post a summary of what's happened so far? I've gone back to the old thread but so much has happened that I can't piece it all together because I am stupid.

Pretty please?

flowers for OP because I have managed to work out in my mushy-brain-state that you've had a loss. And more flowers for your engagement smile

GiraffesAndButterflies Fri 28-Jun-13 22:01:05

double I think you are being utterly wonderful throughout this whole saga, but I have to confess when thread 1 got moved to Classics it gave me pause for thought as well. There's an awful lot of personal, emotional stuff on here to be preserved indefinitely on MN. In your place I'd probably feel happier with the threads being deleted once everything's over.

But then that's just me- someone up thread mentioned blogs, and of course some people share a lot more of themselves on those and are fine with it smile

But back on topic, I hope the manicure suits your bling grin

An hour.

That's how long it has taken me to get through both threads.

Wow.

OP, lovely person and have enjoyed this thread and hope to follow to the end (ie the full run down of how the actual christening/naming ceremony pans out)

Sister = self obsessed, nasty piece of work.

Right, am off to bed 13 week old DS will be up at 4am why have I spent an hour reading MN??? grin

doubleshotespresso Fri 28-Jun-13 23:39:40

olidusUrsus I will PM you a brief outline in a while, yes its has all been vey jam-packed!!!!

GiraffesandButterflies have thought about this a lot this evening.... our friends left earlier after a lovely evening and we drank the Champagne that friends' parents sent over for us. Just got back from a walk with DP and talked this over with him.... He has great judgement and I always heed his suggestions on how to do things I struggle with as he knows me best and is not afraid to be honest.

So I think this is where I sit now, had not really expected the thread to come back to life as it has in the last 2-3 days.... And to be honest was using this as a very easy way to offload, rant,vent and get some perspective and also to calm down as I was at one point really so angry....

It is true I think that now the thread contains details quite specific and as the whole point of it was to figure out (and ultimately help) our friends I have perhaps not paused for real thoughts on it all until this evening....

And I have realised with a bit of re-visiting that I probably expected it to come to a natural end once we had re-jigged the plans, was completely blindsided to become engaged amongst all the madness and yes enjoyed all the congratulations and wonderfully sweet,sincere and amusing posts through it all!

So a few posts have mentioned blogging.... Not sure how to go about that on here, but will look into this and perhaps begin one and thus put the Gift List saga to bed..... DF suggested that as I have gained so much support from here it might be the right time to separate the stories and then those who are interested in the wedding plans would be free to follow if they wanted. But my friends stuff would then be removed from the public domain now that it is all mostly sorted.

Think I will print off the threads for my myself in the next couple of days and then let the thread fizzle out and delete afterwards... Have not posted many times before so will read into the guidelines on all these things.... This thread kind of ran away with me!

I originally lurked on Mumsnet to help me be a better stepmum and I rarely post, but have realised this is such a powerful and supportive tool in life,love and generally keeping sane..... So do not want to cause offence anywhere, but perhaps assist those in need of advice in the future as others have helped me on this thread and others previously....

I would be interested what you think on this Giraffe or anybody else who would be kind enough to share their point of view....

Oh and yes I have very shiny and lovely nails thanks! I bottled a bold colour but am delighted with the result and it is true- the ring looks even better with a professional manicure instead of my botched 5 minute job!

olidusUrsus Sat 29-Jun-13 00:00:55

Aw thanks double that's really kind of you!

doubleshotespresso Sat 29-Jun-13 00:53:08

You are welcome...... Will update the rest..... (Past few days) in a bit-just making tea..... Sorry it was so lengthy but you get the drift now at least!

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 29-Jun-13 00:59:45

Think I will print off the threads for my myself in the next couple of days and then let the thread fizzle out and delete afterwards...

That won't happen to thread 1 as it's in Classics, which is what gave me pause. Threads in Chat get deleted a while after people stop posting on them; threads in Classics are kept there so anyone can read them in future. (Sorry if I'm telling you things you already know!)

I don't think you've shared with us anything you shouldn't have, but personally I would want the peace of mind from knowing the threads would eventually automatically be deleted- as I say, that's just my feeling on it though. Hope I don't get flamed for saying this as I know lots of people wanted thread 1 in Classics!! Please forgive me fellow fans of doubleshot!!

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 29-Jun-13 01:03:44

Have just realised I repeated myself a lot in that post.. blush I'm blaming that on lack of sleep!

doubleshotespresso Sat 29-Jun-13 01:42:53

Giraffesand Butterflies thanks for that ..... And no I did not know that....

I have been on here a while but more as somebody who enjoys reading other peoples threads and check out recipes etc..... I see now that here is a lot to learn and read up on as to how threads work..... i don't think I really clocked onto what CLassics meant.... This means other posters like it enough for MN to keep it live is that what you mean.... Other less popular threads just eventually disappear? Have I got that right?

Sorry I guess this is something I should have been more au fait with before posting this one!! Aaaggghh confused

Feel a bit as if this thread has been a great one for me and entertained other MNers until today when I feel a bit (probably rightly so) kicked in the head).... Am also very exhausted but too wired to sleep.... Think I need to unravel a bit this weekend..... Everything has really hit me like a train in the last two days.... The last couple of weeks (cpl of months really) have been so so so emotional, challenging and utterly exhausting!

Need to clear my head and assure myself normality is soon to return!

Rambling sorry ! blush

doubleshotespresso Sat 29-Jun-13 01:43:58

So how would a blog be better or different?

annielosthergun Sat 29-Jun-13 01:49:10

I think I am with Giraffes - I loved following your first thread but if I was your friend doing a bit of research on my pregnancy diabetes I would probably end up on Mumsnet and if this thread is at the top of AIBU when she did it would just jump out at her, no? It's a risk - and it's also a risk that she might never quite forgive you for putting it all out there which would be a massive shame after you have been such an amazing friend to her through it! Google anything pregnancy related - Mumsnet is almost always in the top 5 results (I have been hooked on AIBU after an innocent search on whether to give up coffee when TTC!!). I would get this deleted - at least from when the sister starts emailing onwards and things get a bit more messy

annielosthergun Sat 29-Jun-13 01:50:09

Sorry crossed post! I think a blog might be harder to stumble on but no less public when someone does!

Ponders Sat 29-Jun-13 02:17:25

fwiw, I don't think AIBU threads don't get deleted automatically - that only happens to threads in Chat. but while there are billions of AIBUs, there are not so many MN Classics, so the latter are more easily spotted if you look under the topic heading.

if double does decide that the whole naming ceremony thing is a bit too identifiable then the best thing would be to ask MN Towers to delete both threads; that would be a bit sad, as the unwinding of the saga has been so gripping, but I'm sure MN would go along with whatever you think best, double

Ponders Sat 29-Jun-13 02:18:31

sorry, I lost control of my grammar there - I mean

I don't think AIBU threads do get deleted automatically

Guerrillacrochet Sat 29-Jun-13 03:17:12

Double fwiw I have absolutely loved your threads and am so glad that they have helped you when you've been having a stressful time. I think everyone commenting, posting and generally loving you to bits just want the best for you, so I don't think anyone will object if you delete it. We've read the thread and know the story now. It does have quite a lot of information that could 'out' your friend, her sister, even 'Fronk'... Mn is such a big online resource... I just googled 'naming ceremony gift list' and your thread is the first result (google Australia too). If the sister is digging around, perhaps to vindicate herself that other people have naming ceremony gift lists, then she will easily find this. Sorry, I don't want to add to the stress you've had but it is worth thinking about.

ItsNotATest Sat 29-Jun-13 03:23:30

I don't think sister finding this thread is a problem, she needs a reality check, if this is where she gets it that's just fine smile

(Have contributed to this thread previously but just done a name change for other reasons, just for the record.)

Guerrillacrochet Sat 29-Jun-13 03:33:11

Yes but she could use it to stir things up with doubles friend and family... From the sounds of things it is just her style. Especially as she's been asked not to attend.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 29-Jun-13 05:25:46

fwiw, I don't think AIBU threads do get deleted automatically - that only happens to threads in Chat

Oh bugger, were we in AIBU originally? I'm losing track!
Have reported my post and asked MNHQ to come clarify the options for you double.

I'm a bit hesitant to give further advice now for fear of talking bollocks but blogs in general are more like online diaries. Not necessarily hosted by MN, it's like having your own online newspaper column where you can post regularly or sporadically about whatever, and people interested in what you have to say can read it. And you'd be starting from scratch on a blog, and you'd have control over how long to keep things or what to delete.

I think a blog is probably overkill unless you are motivated to start one for other reasons. I think most of your newly acquired fans would be happy if you maybe just posted on here or another thread to let us know how the baby naming party goes, and then another thread or two down the line to let us know how your wedding prep and/or wedding itself goes. Depends how much you want to tell us really.

MN is always desperate keen to hear the end of a good story (myself 100% included) but you are of course not obliged to give us any further updates at all smile

saffronwblue Sat 29-Jun-13 05:54:32

Wow double I have read this and the previous thread in one sitting and am amazed and moved. Just a couple of points :
1. Please don't tarnish Australia with the friend's values. I think FA represents international self obsessed PR culture which transcends national boundaries!
2. I think this is a deep clash of values between friend and her sister. The sister actually thinks that an 8 month old baby will care whether her event is sufficiently fashionable and non-vanilla and integrates all those endorsement and commission opportunites?!
If they had not fallen out over this it would be over something else,
Thank you for sharing your story so far.

saffronwblue Sat 29-Jun-13 05:55:11

( I mean don't tarnish Aust with the friend's sister's values

Thumbwitch Sat 29-Jun-13 06:40:17

I think that the cautionary notes that have been flagged are wise - it could be upsetting for your friend to see any of this, especially as the first part of the first thread was uncompromisingly harsh on her, before the truth was known!

AIBU threads are kept ad infinitum as well, they're just harder to find than Classic threads later because there are so bloody MANY of them.

In some ways I'm surprised that MNHQ didn't flag this themselves before agreeing to put in into Classics but I expect they were carried along on the tide of positivity towards the end of thread 1, like the rest of us.

What I WOULD suggest, if you don't want to delete this thread, is that you get the title changed at the very least. Ask MNHQ to change it, they can - perhaps something like "the further adventures of Fronk's friend" or something that everso vaguely alludes to the sister's email - or just get this one deleted.

It has been amazing to read and I would love to hear the outcome and how well the naming ceremony goes and whether Miss Memememe shows up! but I agree the risks of it getting back to your friend are rising, albeit slowly.

MumnGran Sat 29-Jun-13 07:21:52

double , I have been 'umming' and ah'ing' about your deletion dilemma, because the thread truly does deserve to be a classic - not least because it shows MN at its best. Equally, there is little doubt of outing if anyone close to the picture should stumble across it.

Putting Part 2 into AIBU was always a risk to the overall upbeat nature of things, because it invites critical input, but that may well have become a positive for you - thread addicts were always going to want to hear every detail, and I think we all lost focus on the risk of outing, once the initial query about privacy was addressed. There has been a welter of further identifiable info since that first discussion!

Perhaps the question to ask yourself is whether it is worth even a small potential risk to the friendship, over an online exchange which will be forever enshrined for all to see?. All of us who have stayed with you through the story could probably answer that one for you smile

The blog is a wonderful solution, and need not mean losing everything.....we can all still carry on chipping in our two penn'orth!!
You can print off the entire exchange, to keep as a personal memento, and then precis a non-identifiable 'background' as the start of your wedding planning blog, just giving a taste of how the engagement occurred (ven Fronk could slide in there, if you tweak with care) Reporting on a "wonderful christening you attended while in the midst of your wedding planning", would not be at all amiss so we can all still hear how things turned out I am sure that you could even include some comments made on the original thread if they were particularly helpful - a quick pm to anyone you want to quote would result in happy permission I am sure.

I shall be sad to see this come to a close, but doing the right thing for your friend, and friendship, matters more ....and we know that has always been your motivator. flowers

TheDoctrineOfAllan Sat 29-Jun-13 08:24:37

Thunbwitch, MNHQ did check with the OP on the thread ic she was ok about the move to classics from chat, but they may not have appreciated that she missed the automatic deletion distinction.

Flappingandflying Sat 29-Jun-13 08:43:39

I've just spent an age reading through this. Congratulations, well done and much admiration to you. You are a lady of substance and backbone and your family clearly recognise that.

Lovely all this is, though, I would delete. It is highly likely that your friend might mumsnet in the future. As someone said, internet searching diabetes would bring all this up and when the dust has settled, the calm has desended, she might feel agrieved that so much was aired. We have all lived vicariously through your situation and your highs and lows have added to our days but it would be selfish to demand that we can keep looking at this. After all, that is what a memory is for and part of the joy of these types of forums is the fleeting nature of their markers in time.

Perhaps give us another thread in September, telling us about the day and a different thread about wedding plans - methinks your wedding will be lovely with no bridezillas and perhaps a change in career for you into sympathetic event mangement!

Scrounger Sat 29-Jun-13 09:11:10

Another one suggesting you delete it, threads can get out of hand. This has been a lovely one and I have enjoyed reading it.

Under another name I started an AIBU which people then linked onto other sites, it grew and I asked for it to be deleted as there was a risk it could impact on my DH job (these sites were industry related). Whilst I had changed some details, anyone involved would have been able to identify it and I didn't want any comeback from something that I had started in all innocence. I felt a real sense of relief when it was deleted.

TheDoctrineOfAllan Sat 29-Jun-13 09:13:49

By the way, everyone on MN who googles and gets MN results first - I think that's cos google knows you are a visitor here and so will find the results from here relevant.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 29-Jun-13 09:52:13

By the way doubleshot, if you've never browsed Classics before then I highly recommend it, particularly this thread about a cutted up pear. grin

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 29-Jun-13 14:54:46

Just popping in with a clarification smile

The only places in MN where threads are automatically deleted is in Chat (90 days after the OP) and Off the Beaten Track (30 days after the OP).

As you were!

double If you get these threads deleted (and I agree it may be a good idea), I would also love to read a wedding thread. Especially if you can work in a reference to how the naming ceremony unfolds. For those of us who have read these threads, any update needn't be detailed, but I know I am hoping your friend gets the ceremony she wants and deserves and would love to know that she did.

You have been a wonderful support to your friend and it's clear that those in your life reciprocate your love and support. thanks

Double you write incredibly well and with so much humour, self-awareness and empathy that I would love to continue reading anything you cared to write! For that quite selfish reason I would love for you to start a proper blog or at the very least keep posting on MN, maybe on a new thread, about your wedding plans, your life, your DF, your lovely friend and so on.

However, I agree with other posters to think carefully about deleting these particular threads. I share a lot on MN and if anyone cared to do an Advanced Search on me I would be pretty identifiable. That doesn't really bother me but for you it might cause ructions with your lovely friend and / or Sweet Fanny Adams although really we don't care about her, only about the fallout for you

I wish these were real --> flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers

RabbitsarenotHares Wed 03-Jul-13 17:34:33

As a suggestion, and purely as I'm nosy and would love to find out how this pans out, could you not give us an update on Off the Beaten Track?

onedev Wed 03-Jul-13 18:45:39

Good idea Rabbits grin

TakingTheStairs Thu 04-Jul-13 10:49:11

Good idea Rabbits

What do you think Double?

ButThereAgain Thu 04-Jul-13 10:56:02

I was a bit amazed by both your threads -- that someone so kind and supportive of her friend should think so little of disclosing so much personal information that was not hers to share. The fact that this seems to have been done so lightly might be the reason that some have doubted the truth of the story.

It isn't the possibility of the friend finding out that should worry you -- it is the wrongfulness of violating her privacy in the first place, whether she learns of the wrong or not. If its a true story, delete for goodness sake!

ButThereAgain Thu 04-Jul-13 10:56:41

And no updates!

EvieanneVolvic Thu 04-Jul-13 10:59:45

flowers ButThereAgain

ButThereAgain Thu 04-Jul-13 11:14:31

Not saying I don't think this story is true, but if (given her concern for the main character's welfare) the OP doesn't choose to get it deleted, that might be regarded as evidence that the story was economical with the actualité (or, rather, spendthrift with the inactualité). grin

GreenEggsAndNichts Thu 04-Jul-13 15:01:31

Checking in after being on the old thread. smile

hevak Thu 04-Jul-13 15:55:44

OP, if you do start a blog, please let us know before you get the thread(s) deleted - assuming you choose to do that? I have been following your trials and tribulations with Fronk and SweetFA and I would love to hear how the revised naming ceremony goes.

I think you have been a wonderful friend smile and I hope you have a fabulous wedding flowers - definitely invite your DSC's grandparents!

pigletmania Mon 15-Jul-13 11:45:31

Op how did te ceremony go. Any updates!

blimey! what a saga! have just caught up on both threads

this whole party planner business sounds barmey reminds self never to hire one grin

DollyClothespeg Tue 03-Sep-13 23:37:21

Blimey. Just read both threads, and it's took the best part of two hours (remind me to get a life and stop sitting at the laptop on an evening, lol!)
If true, the sis is definitely a piece of work with the skin of a rhinoceros!

clarasebal Wed 18-Sep-13 19:21:58

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

UterusUterusGhali Thu 19-Sep-13 21:25:42

Marking place for an update.

I haven't been so enthralled by a thread for ages. I've even shed tears. blush

SueDoku Thu 19-Sep-13 22:33:21

What a disappointment - I thought we might be getting some news of the wedding, but no - IT'S A ZOMBIE THREAD.... [ANGRY]

glorysupporter Sat 12-Oct-13 23:41:49

Hmmm, after spending 2 days reading both threads, I have to agree with SueDoku, the ending was a bit of a disappointment!

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