To keep dd off school?

(39 Posts)
VivaLeBeaver Tue 25-Jun-13 17:04:45

She is 12yo, going on a school trip.

Trip is paid for (£50), get letter last week with details of what they need, etc. They won't be back at school until 1am.

If I'd known this before I'd have never said she could go.

Kids have been told they MUST be at school the following day. DD told her teacher that I'd said I didn't think she'd be fit for school the next day and her teacher has yelled at her. Saying everyone else will make it so she better had.

I've bloody booked the day off work as there's no way I can be at work at 7am if I'm not going to be in bed until 2am. So I'm pissed off over that as well.

mummymeister Tue 25-Jun-13 17:12:39

really unusual for a school to have a trip that doesn't get back until this late on a school night and then expect them all in bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning. it obviously wasn't clear that this was the case on the first letter home. would have a word with class teacher if I were you. can your dd go home with a friend (one who lives near to the school) this would help with you being tired as well.

thebody Tue 25-Jun-13 17:13:14

Where are they going to be back for 1am?

Anyway it's your child and your call but its probably going to be later than 1am as personally I have never known a school trip to he back on time.

I should let her go and then decide in the morning if she can make it in or not. Teachers can't actually dictate this you know!!

She will probably be fine to be honest and if they are all tired then they won't be doing much anyway the next day.

threesypeesy Tue 25-Jun-13 17:14:34

Send her on the trip and keep her off the next day if you wish, that's very late she will be exhausted, she's your daughter and you know what's best for her, who is a teacher to dictate to you anyway? Your child, your choice imo

VivaLeBeaver Tue 25-Jun-13 17:15:36

Going to London to see a show. I'd assumed it was a matinee performance but its the evening performance.

She has to get up at 6,30am to catch the bus at 7,30am.

So 4 hours sleep? I guess she might sleep on the coach a bit?

TheFallenNinja Tue 25-Jun-13 17:15:49

Keep her off. Kids get tired after a night clubbingsmile

livinginwonderland Tue 25-Jun-13 17:17:13

Wait and see how she feels. We've had school trips like this and most people came to school but were absolutely knackered the next day - believe me - not much teaching went on, so they might end up going over the trip/doing work around it instead of proper lessons.

No point deciding before she's been.

landofsoapandglory Tue 25-Jun-13 17:22:24

DS1 went to London to see Warhorse with the school, arrived back at a similar time and would have had to have been up at 6.30 to get the bus at 7.30. I had presumed it would be a matinee performance too. As DS1 suffers with migraines, and lack of sleep can bring them on, I let him stay in bed until 9.30 and took him into school at 11am which was after morning break. The teacher who organised the trip went mad and told DS1 that of there was another trip arriving back at that time he might not be able to go!(there wasn't, they took them to matinees).

Could you take her in a bit later?

AllegraLilac Tue 25-Jun-13 17:24:51

As a kid/teenager I always had the day off after a residential school trip, or else the overtired-ness gives me migraines. Being sleepy still makes me poorly even now.

Keep her at home. Authorise her absence. Teachers can't do shit.

thebody Tue 25-Jun-13 17:27:17

Jesus!! Landofsoap...

No teacher has ever spoken to me like that about my children. If they are tired or unwell then they are at home. My child's health is my responsibility.

All the teachers I meet are normal to he honest.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 25-Jun-13 17:29:50

School starts at 820, it'll take me 30 mins to get there so I suppose I could save 20 mins by taking her in myself.

diddl Tue 25-Jun-13 18:13:50

Very ill thought out.

And the teacher sounds rude.


GetStuffezd Tue 25-Jun-13 18:17:02

Ridiculous! Personally I feel like death warmed up if I go to bed on a school night after half eleven, so I'd never expect my pupils to be in after such a late night. How inflexible of them!

LIZS Tue 25-Jun-13 18:21:39

Were you there when dd had the conversation with her teacher , maybe it got a bit lost in translation . However I think you may be being a bit precious tbh . dd has had late nights and still been ok next day , it catches up a bit later. Let her sleep to 7.30 then take her in or failing that for first break.

ReluctantBeing Tue 25-Jun-13 18:22:54

At my school pupils start late if they are home that late for a trip or activity. It is usual for 10.30am start for those kids.

OwlinaTree Tue 25-Jun-13 18:23:38

Teacher is probably peed because she's got to go in.

They'll sleep on the bus. They'll have a blast. The whole class will be the same.

I'd send mine in for the trip and the following day without hesitation.

sparkle12mar08 Tue 25-Jun-13 18:30:03

There's not a cat in hell's chance I'd send mine in after a night like that, and I'd be making a formal complaint to the head and the governors about the teacher involved threatening my child about further trips etc. My child, my responsibility, and therefore my right to decide what's best for them.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 25-Jun-13 18:32:53

OK, thanks. I'll see what she's like in the morning. However she's normally shit in the mornings and wailing how tired she is so I'm not being too hopeful. That's after going to bed at 8,30pm.

landrover Tue 25-Jun-13 18:38:30

Hi there, we have a trip where they got back at 9pm. The kids were allowed to register till 11 the next day, perfectly sensible imo !

marriedinwhiteagain Tue 25-Jun-13 18:38:36

I'd be OK with it to be honest but mine don't need that much sleep and never have. Feel a bit sorry for the teachers the next day - dozens of overtired hormonal young people and still having to try to keep control. I might not have mentioned not going in in advance and would just have phoned in and said dd had a bad tum when she got home and isn't going in.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 25-Jun-13 18:50:12

MarriedInWhite - that was my plan - daft dd decided to prewarn her teacher which has rather blown that now.

NonnoMum Tue 25-Jun-13 18:56:53

Actually, it would probably help the teacher if you did write to the governors.
The teacher was probably NOT allowed to take the children to the matinee as they would have missed their 'normal' lessons (maths etc). So, the teacher, wanting to give them this opportunity has given up her own time to take them in the evening. S/he was probably told that this would be OK provided the children don't miss any curriculum time the next day.
However, if you sanction your child being off the next day (or part day) due to 'illness', then the school can't do anything. And it would help the teacher arrange matinees next time.

marriedinwhiteagain Tue 25-Jun-13 19:03:29

Ring in - say she's got a bit of an upset tum but she's coming anyway and instruct her to fanny fart extremely loudly in every lesson grin.

Startail Tue 25-Jun-13 19:14:22

DD1 has done trips like that and gone in the next day, they manage.

Give her a year or two and she'll stay up to midnight and beyond quite routinely.

She'll moan, but she'll survive.

Startail Tue 25-Jun-13 19:16:25

Honestly, I can't believe this thread.

She's 12 not 6.

BellaVita Tue 25-Jun-13 19:18:08

DS (16) went on those trips - we live in York so a fair distance from London. The school said to us (via letter/email) that they didn't have to be in school until say break time the next day.

crunchbag Tue 25-Jun-13 19:21:44

Surely a 12yo can survive on a couple of hours sleep once in a while. No big deal imo.

marriedinwhiteagain Tue 25-Jun-13 20:09:22

actually viva dd has learnt a hard lesson in keeping her trap shut. She'll have a great time, she might just be a tad tired and ready for bed by 7ish the night after.

MyBoysAreFab Tue 25-Jun-13 20:57:58

DS' High School have activity days at the start of June, a couple of these involve getting home after midnight. DS2 had an awards night last night and it was about eleven by the time he went to bed. These are exceptions and I don't have any problem with it, it is great that they get the opportunity to do things like this - just make sure that there are a couple of early nights before and after.

Spikeytree Tue 25-Jun-13 21:39:08

The teacher running the trip will be under pressure to make sure that it doesn't impact on the next day. If lots of children have the day off the trip probably won't run again as it will have an impact on attendance figures. My school has a target of 95 % attendance so lots of kids off for a day here and there can be a huge problem.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 25-Jun-13 21:44:14

Fingers crossed she will sleep on the coach. I'll tell her to man up and drag her out of bed the next morning. Or if she's really bad maybe take her in mid morning.

PiggyPlumPie Tue 25-Jun-13 21:45:00

DD (13) went to Barcelona last year as part of activities days. Their delayed flight got them home around 2 am and she managed to get up for school the next day.

She had a blast telling her pals about it and chatting with the teachers. She wouldn't have missed that day for the world.

Yes she was tired that night but soon got over it.

FionaJT Tue 25-Jun-13 21:56:04

My dd took part in a Young Voices concert this winter, she was not quite 8. The whole coachload of 8-11yr olds arrived back at around midnight and the vast majority of them (my dd included) were in school the next day, and it was expected that they would be. They were all fine!

ZZZenagain Tue 25-Jun-13 21:58:02

I would keep her home

LondonBus Tue 25-Jun-13 21:58:37

I don't think "My DC did that so your DC can too" is helpful.

See how she goes, Viva. If she's tired, phone in and say she's ill.

Startail Tue 25-Jun-13 22:04:32

The 95% thing is bloody ridiclous and another piece of Gove/Ofsted failing to trust schools, parents and pupils do anything sensible.

You can't have a day off if your coach breaks down and gets back at 3am.

You can't declare a days extra study leave even though (for complex, but reasonable reasons) Y11 have voted with their feet.

You have to close if it snows even if the 50% non bus DCs can get to school.

littlewhitebag Tue 25-Jun-13 22:05:18

She will be fine. One late night / early morning will not kill her.

littleducks Tue 25-Jun-13 22:09:42

I couldn't do it so I wouldn't expect my kids to

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