To ask you to tell me all the positives about not drinking alcohol

(104 Posts)
Rachtoteach Sun 23-Jun-13 20:39:16

My mother is an alcoholic. I have only recently acknowledged this as she had been functioning ok but her health is now in such a bad state, her liver is failing and she has circulation problems which means she rarely leaves the house (but she will struggle to the shop to buy gin). Her sister is also an alcoholic. I am an only child and have three lovely kids and an amazing DH. My wine intake had been increasing and hangovers getting worse and I had a bit of an enlightening moment when I realised that I could choose life or alcohol (bit dramatic but am currently feeling my mum has chosen gin over us, by far). I am an all or nothing person and have taken the decision to give up the booze for good, rather than cut down. Alcohol no longer has a place in my life.

So... please help me think of all the fab things about not drinking! So far I've thought of - no hangovers, no memory loss, no embarrassment, saving money, weight loss.......

Inspire me please!!

chocoluvva Sun 23-Jun-13 20:54:15

Better skin and hair.

Setting a good example to your DC

Fitting into muslim communities (semi-joking)

Playing tricks on drunk friends!

Good luck - take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself if you cave in.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 23-Jun-13 20:55:30

No hangovers ever again.
Never waking up and thinking "shit did I really say that"
Having more money to spend on other,longer lasting things.

JazzDalek Sun 23-Jun-13 20:56:45

Good for you.

I don't drink and I think it helps with:

Maintaining a slim figure
Great skin
More money to buy nice toiletries / clothes / cosmetics / whatever you're into (I am always gobsmacked at the amount of booze in people's trollies at the supermarket, it must cost a bomb)

As I haven't drunk since my uni days I can't really say what other improvements you may notice, but I suspect that as with smoking (which I did do for many years), there will be a general sense of "so THIS is what I'm meant to feel like!" once you've quit. When you live with a habit for a long period of time, you think it isn't harming you and that the way you feel is normal, until you stop, and realise after a while how much better you feel.

If that makes sense grin

chocoluvva Sun 23-Jun-13 20:57:12

Feeling unbelievably smug and virtuous when you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the morning after the night before.

HesterShaw Sun 23-Jun-13 20:58:18

You'll notice the money.
Feeling more awake in the mornings.

RabbitFromAHat Sun 23-Jun-13 20:59:50

Just generally feeling happier, after a while. I had no idea how much of a depressant booze could be; I also have much more energy for exercise and enjoy it a lot more.

Seeing dawn from the 'right' side is still always a thrill to me now. smile

cozietoesie Sun 23-Jun-13 20:59:50

Knowing your chances of seeing your kids grow up are immeasurably improved - and still having a good relationship with them when they do. smile

Oh - and no hangovers!

chocoluvva Sun 23-Jun-13 21:00:04

I gave up alcohol for health reasons for what I thought would be approximately six months - I didn't drink much anyway.
Before I knew it, the six months had turned into five years.
Last New Year's Eve I decided I'd have one or two drinks. I had one, then didn't feel like another.
I haven't missed having a drink at all.

I couldn't find any positives about drinking, so I stopped. (I still have one or two every few years, but literally with years in between).

specialsubject Sun 23-Jun-13 21:02:34

nothing wrong with the odd one, but drunk people are not a pretty sight. And if you can only have a good time with the aid of booze, you are a bore.

Better sleep. No broken veins on your face in the future. A sense of being in control, all the time.

RabbitFromAHat Sun 23-Jun-13 21:04:05

Never getting The Fear anymore! Social occasions are just a lot less stressful now I don't have to worry about my usual social anxiety and sarky nature being exacerbated by booze. grin

joanofarchitrave Sun 23-Jun-13 21:04:38

Mental freedom, instead of spending ages thinking 'When can I next drink' 'which shop can I stop at for booze' 'who's going to drive'.

goingupinfumes Sun 23-Jun-13 21:06:04

It's great, healthy good for your skin, you feel empowered? is that a word? It's nice to be able to make sure friends are OK and they get home safely.

It's great for your wallet and not that rare anymore I know 4 others all for different reasons, medical, fitness and your reasons above are great.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Sun 23-Jun-13 21:06:43

Yes to all of the above.

No cringing memories of ridiculous behaviour the night before.

Really restful sleep.

More energy - physical and mental - to do different things.

I'm a bit like you. I suspect my parents are functioning alcoholics - my dad more than my mum - although they are more self-aware and consciously trying to do something about it.

I could easily have wine every night, so I consciously give myself months of abstinence at a time. I notice the difference in about 10 days - 3 weeks.

KnittedWaffle Sun 23-Jun-13 21:07:08

You become more creative with your spare time.

It's easy to go out and get drunk or stay in of an evening drinking bottles of wine and then be hungover the next day, which means alcohol cuts into the whole weekend.

After having 3DC in quick succession I have never bothered to start drinking again and as well as all the above mentioned by other posters I have taken up more interesting hobbies instead.

messalina Sun 23-Jun-13 21:08:16

Alcohol is full of sugar so can cause weight gain and...(this one surprised me) WRINKLES!! On discovering the latter, I cut down to once a week right away and am considering cutting down even more or perhaps giving it up completely for a few months.

Not drinking can give you a wonderful sense of superiority (even if you are stuffing your face with chocolate instead).

You never have to wake up embarrassed wondering what sort of idiotic things you might have said the night before.

It kills brain cells.

It saves loads of money not to drink wine every night. And your DP/DH will start cutting down too. Mine used to drink a couple of glasses every night and I used to nag him about this. Since I have started only ever having a drink on a Friday or Saturday (and max. 3 glasses at that), he has massively cut down. We are saving money and it's better for him.

You will never get that horrendous alcohol tiredness again. I don't just mean the hideous tiredness you get with a proper hangover. I mean the sort of lower-level tiredness you can get even after just two glasses the night before. Sleep is so much more refreshing.

If you are trying to eat healthily it's far easier to fall off the waggon if you have a drink or two. Much easier to stick to your guns when sober.

maddening Sun 23-Jun-13 21:13:47

the only bonus of booze is the relaxing nature and social side - everything else is negative - and once you realise that you don't need booze to socialise and in fact you can have a lovely time and make better social decisions (ie less likely to put up with fucking twats) as your judgement isn't impaired, won't have hangovers, can get home easily as you can drive, health is better, it's cheaper, feel better in general (as you're not poisoning your body on a regular basis). If you need it to relax then look into other relaxation techniques.

Never having to worry if you made an arse of yourself but can't remember.
Getting home from a night out is easier.
I have less stomach problems.
Don't have to make excuses in early pregnancy!
Not inflicting the smell of stale booze on others.

maddening Sun 23-Jun-13 21:14:56

and booze makes you put on fat around your vital organs (apparently this is the cause of a beer belly in men)

Jossysgiants Sun 23-Jun-13 21:17:47

Having more energy and being able to get out of bed in the morning without that edgy/ headachy feeling.

Like you have noticed wine consumption edging to levels I was uncomfortable with. Have cut down massively over last 2 weeks ( about 80%). I feel amazing- I was feeling so exhausted, mildly depressed....like jazzdalek says - it's great to start feeling like you're meant to feel.

Rachtoteach Sun 23-Jun-13 21:18:49

Thanks so much for all your responses, you have really made me feel certain that I'm making the right decision!

GoshAnneGorilla Sun 23-Jun-13 21:19:14

I gave up drinking for religious reasons, but I would so recommend it. Mainly for all the reasons mentioned above.

I love not having hangovers, being sick, wasting so much money on drink ( it's v expensive for something that just passes through your body)

I wish being teetotal was more popular in this country.

apostropheuse Sun 23-Jun-13 21:21:02

Your children won't be too embarrassed to bring friends home.

Naebother Sun 23-Jun-13 21:21:58

What maddening said is spot on.

And you will like yourself so much more.

Do it.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Sun 23-Jun-13 21:26:51

Your risk of breast cancer is greatly reduced. BC risk increases significantly with a very small intake of alcohol (more than 7 units per week).

moonbells Sun 23-Jun-13 21:30:01

Nobody's yet mentioned the other major health benefits of not drinking. Several serious cancers are linked to alcohol consumption, such as oral cancers (especially if you smoke too) and cancer of the oesophagus (which killed John Thaw). Stomach cancer is also linked to alcohol (though more to smoking).

Read en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_and_cancer though not if you're squeamish or have just eaten! Gory picture alert.

Well done for stopping. That was a very hard thing you have done. I've never drunk much, can count two bad hangovers in my life and drink perhaps 2 units a year now, but that's mostly because I've never really liked alcoholic drinks. I am impressed with anyone who manages to break such an addiction. flowers

YoungBritishPissArtist Sun 23-Jun-13 21:30:16

I became teetotal about 3 years (for similar reasons to you OP) and never looked back.

When I'm out with people who are drinking, I have one orange juice and then switch to water.

With all the water, I wake up the next day feeling really refreshed, unlike my friends grin My skin is good, and young, because I drink a lot of water.

It helps keep weight under control. Not just avoiding the alcohol itself, but I think when you're under the influence you're more inclined to eat more, and more fatty foods at that, like picking up a KFC on the way home.

I save money due to the above.

The main thing though, is I was using alcohol as a crutch. I didn't think people would like me, or that I could have fun without having a drink. It made me do some work on myself and I prefer socialising and having fun being the real me, not an altered version.
Sorry if that sounds really therapy-speak, but it works for me!

I have beautiful, peaceful, lucid dreams when I don't drink.

Therefore I don't drink much anymore!

moonbells Sun 23-Jun-13 21:31:07

grin crosspost on cancer TondelayoSchwarzkopf

ItsNotUnusualToBe Sun 23-Jun-13 21:32:06

Your children won't feel the way you do about their mother.

YoungBritishPissArtist Sun 23-Jun-13 21:36:28

You won't be one of those boring people whose only topic of conversation seems to be; how much they drank last night, how much they're going to get smashed this weekend, etc.

I know people who have no hobbies or pastimes, they just go to the pub and get sloshed. That's it. How boring.

snooter Sun 23-Jun-13 21:37:06

You will argue less at home

ChipsNEggs Sun 23-Jun-13 21:43:51

When you wake up in the morning you never ever regret not drinking.

I've decided to knock it on the head for a good long while, maybe permanently as I had definitely slipped in to drinking more often and higher amounts than is healthy. I always feel better when not drinking, you look better, you have more energy, more money, you're slimmer and your skin looks better and anxiety and depression are greatly reduced.

You never have to worry about if you are over the limit the next day and I bet every person who drinks and has a car has unknowingly driven over the limit at some point. You don't need to worry if a child becomes ill and you need to get to the hospital. You're in charge, you can get yourself home, you don't wake up and panic over what you might have said or done.

What makes you miserable is if your relaxing time and social events are still centred around drinking. Start doing new things and enrich your life as well as improving your health. I've been crafting in the evening again and really enjoy it, I'm wondering why slumping in front of the telly with a glass of wine ever seemed preferable. I'm also getting my zest back and have done a list of 30 things to achieve this year, a couple of big things but also little things like learning to bake Macaroons, go climbing and taking time to write proper letters to friends and family.

I bought a posh tumbler from TK Maxx and like to settle down to my evening with some sparkling San Pellegrino with ice and lemon or a Sanbitter over ice. You could also add a couple of posh chocolates and still rack up fewer calories at a lower cost than a couple of glasses of wine wine but it still marks the beginning of your relaxing time.

Do it and I give it 5 days max before you physically feel the difference.

Lavenderloves Sun 23-Jun-13 21:48:31

I did the drybjan challenge it was very good. I didn't mss it, looked better, slept better gad more energy.

I slipped back into drinking.

I think i'm going to have a dry july :-)

tupuedes Sun 23-Jun-13 22:33:46

Damn, YoungBritish took my one. You do realize though how tedious those "I went to x and got pissed and y fell in a bush" stories get though.

WorrySighWorrySigh Sun 23-Jun-13 22:38:04

DH and I did the dry jan then just really carried on. We arent teetotal but have cut back the drinking to the point where it is very much the exception and not the rule.

Something I read a long time ago is that it takes 3 weeks to make or break a habit. So, if you can stop drinking for July then you have a good chance of breaking the habit.

Possibly a slightly backhanded positive: if I feel poorly then I dont have to think that it is a hangover! DH now has high blood pressure and gets gout from time to time, both are just age related and started since we cut back on drinking. At least we know that drinking isnt contributing to these health problems.

twinklyfingers Sun 23-Jun-13 22:47:20

My dh gave up alcohol three years ago due to a series of incidents induced by heavy drinking. Looking back we also drank too much together in the evenings/weekends.

He too is an all or nothing person so the decision to stop completely suited him well, he would not have managed to simply cut down. It has made him a much happier person who is much more productive. It has driven him to build a social life with activities and hobbies. He has also begun a masters which i don't think he would have contempleted while he was still drinking. It is remarkable how much time and energy is wasted on being just a bit hung over!

I'm almost teetotal, have about 5 small drinks a year, if that. Used to drink plenty, socially.

I can eat loads of crap because I am not using up my calories on drink. Skin is in good nick for my age.
Don't make much of a twat of myself, don't bore people to death or have verbal diarrhoea/feel argumentative.
IBS was much worse when drinking.
Still hate mornings and night wakings with the children but always sober and not hungover to deal with them.
Can always leave if I am not enjoying myself as I am normally driving.

My dad is probably an alcoholic, my mum had severe MH problems and died young. I feel I am giving myself my best chance of a normal life by not being a drinker grin

BridgetBidet Sun 23-Jun-13 22:53:13

You get a lot more done. You don't lose days to being hungover or have the 'shame' or regrets about what you've done.

You get into doing different things that don't involve drinking and after a while you realize that it's far more constructive to do these things rather than just getting pissed.

KatoPotato Sun 23-Jun-13 22:57:01

I had my first ever tee-total night out last night and it was fantastic! Each time I went to loo I still looked as I did when I went out, I have no fear that I made a fool of myself, and I got to drive home!

I'm not looking back!

KatoPotato Sun 23-Jun-13 22:57:50

I'm a tad shocked that a soda and lime was £2 however!

merlincat Sun 23-Jun-13 23:00:57

For me it was a life or death thing, I chose life and that was nearly twenty years ago. I experienced it as a rebirth; mentally and spiritually (although I'm not a spiritual person at all). Everything was fresh and new, it was the most wonderful experience of my life.

Remotecontrolduck Sun 23-Jun-13 23:12:25

I don't drink, neither does DD, 19, very much. She's the same as me, doesn't like the taste.

I don't know what I'm 'missing' as I've never been more than a bit tipsy, but the thought of being really drunk then hungover the next day doesn't do much for me to be honest. People ask me why I don't drink, I always ask them why they do.

Fair play if you genuinely like the taste of the drinks and stuff but often I get the answer 'because that's what you do'. I'd rather have a fun night without the feeling sick.

I wouldn't count of saving too much money though, non alcoholic drinks are very pricey!

Cherriesarelovely Sun 23-Jun-13 23:29:08

All of the above. I've had to give it up due to a health problem and have really enjoyed the lack of hangovers (not that I drank alot but even a small amount made me feel grim afterwards) feeling clear headed and sleeping well. There are loads. Good luck.

Justfornowitwilldo Sun 23-Jun-13 23:35:04

Your liver can heal itself. If you stop drinking it will get stronger.

Alcohol is a depressant. You will feel better.

You will save money. Why not look at what you're spending a week on drinking and, when you stop, put that aside every week until you've got enough for something you really want.

Justfornowitwilldo Sun 23-Jun-13 23:37:13

Al Anon provide support for the families of alcoholics.

ChipsNEggs Sun 23-Jun-13 23:41:20

Whilst some non alcoholic drinks may be pricey you will save money cos you won't have anywhere near 10 J2O's on a night out. I'm shocked at £2 for a lime and soda though, it normally costs me around 30p and in busy bars of an evening they ask if I'm driving and then let me have it free.

StuntGirl Sun 23-Jun-13 23:52:45

I love not being drunk.

I love not doing or saying anything stupid.

I love not getting hangovers.

I love that I can go out and actually remember the night.

I love being the one who remembers everyone else's stupid/silly/embarrassing moments ;)

I DO NOT love that non alcoholic drinks are often two or three times the price of booze sad

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 24-Jun-13 00:04:09

I think I'm going to give up drinking. I can't cope with The Fear anymore.

mercury7 Mon 24-Jun-13 01:17:07

alcohol is harmfull to all of your body tissues, there are no positives to drinking alcohol.
My understanding is that, for women, there is no safe amount of alcohol, relative to it's intoxicant effects alcohol is highly toxic

Another minor benefit but important to me - I can remember what happened in the book I'm reading when I come back to it the next night. When I've had even the smallest drink I struggle to remember what I read the night before.

The times I've read the previous few pages again just to catch up on the plot!

Flossiechops Mon 24-Jun-13 06:52:39

I don't drink at all. I've never regularly drank alcohol. I hate the taste, it's empty calories and just don't get what the fuss is all about. You won't regret giving it up!

thebody Mon 24-Jun-13 06:55:10

Didn't have the usual share bottle with dh last night because of this thread and slept like a baby so able to post this. Usually sleep badly after a drink and sleep till the alarm at 7.

WorrySighWorrySigh Mon 24-Jun-13 07:10:52

I think that sleep is one of the big bonuses of not drinking. If I dont drink then I go to bed earlier (no staying up and talking bollocks into the night) and, like thebody, I sleep better.

MrsDoomsPatterson Mon 24-Jun-13 07:17:20

Ok - better skin
Better mood
No snoring - great sleep
No mild depression
Weight loss
Money saved
No hangovers

Best thing I've done in a long time.

Lavenderloves Mon 24-Jun-13 07:22:57

Can we have a dry July thread?

It would be good to have some support.

Rachtoteach Mon 24-Jun-13 08:14:29

Hi all, I'm so glad I started this thread, am finding it so helpful and encouraging. I think a dry July thread would get me off to a great start! xx

Levantine Mon 24-Jun-13 08:31:02

The biggest benefit for me has been unbelievable amounts of energy. I only cut back three weeks ago and I feel so much better.

raisah Mon 24-Jun-13 08:56:11

More money
more control over life choices
Less likely to be in a vulnerable position where you can be taken advantage of
better health
less likely to gain alcoholic inches around your waist
No more hangovers & vomit

I have never drunk alcohol and it doesnt appeal to me, the smell of it makes me want to vomit.

damnitdamnit Mon 24-Jun-13 09:03:53

I sleep better when I don't drink.

Maud2011 Mon 24-Jun-13 09:06:06

*Much more energy
*I get far more done
*I suffer far less anxiety and edginess
*Found out that I didn't really need a glass of wine or ten to socialise
*No more scary and humiliating memory gaps
*Life no longer feels overwhelming but at the same time it feels much larger and full of opportunity
*When I'm happy, which is far more often than it used to be, it's wonderful to know that it's a real feeling and not chemically induced.

That's on the basis of having had a strong psychological addiction and then going teetotal two years ago. I have not been entirely teetotal in the last six months although most weeks go by alcohol free. The most I have had since reintroduction was 4 glasses of wine in an evening. Peanuts to what I used to drink but the next day I felt crumby and edgy and it was astonishing to realise, even making allowances for tolerance levels, just how strongly alcohol affected my mood. Shocking too, to realise that having my mood thus affected was once a normal state of affairs!

KittensoftPuppydog Mon 24-Jun-13 09:10:11

I need at least an hour less sleep a night if I don't drink.

theboutiquemummy Mon 24-Jun-13 09:18:38

Your children will thank you for it you've shown them that history doesnt have to repeat itself

The soberistas website is brilliant for this

Good luck

maternitart Mon 24-Jun-13 09:27:46

Inspiring thread, thank you... Even though I don't drink a lot as I am BFing I have recently started to drink very regularly and when DC wakes early or in the night I feel awful and guilty.

I plan to cut down to one drink max, once a week until end July. I love the taste of good wine and spirits and my DH is the same so that's my challenge.

Time, in all senses.

More time on this earth.

More time when you have all your wits about you.

More time when you're not (as one poster says above) constantly preoccupied with how to get/hide/dispose of the next bottle.

More time when you're fully present for your family.

More time to think about the future, with all its possibilities, beyond just the next score.

Oh and better teeth! Did you know most wine is actually more acidic than lemon juice? It's just the sugars present disguise the taste.

Flobbadobs Mon 24-Jun-13 10:05:59

I've cut out alcohol as I realised that my intake had soared recently and I swear I can see the difference in my face after just short of a week! My face is losing the puffy look I'd been cultivating recently and I love the feeling of waking up clear headed every morning instead of ever so slightly muggy due to the glass or 2 the night before.

WentOnABearHunt Mon 24-Jun-13 10:20:48

Love this thread smile currently i am pregnant so have not been drinking for 6 +months and I am seriously thinking of not going back.

Pennyacrossthehall Mon 24-Jun-13 10:55:50

How about asking what are the positives of drinking alcohol? Because in my view that's not a long list and it baffles me how most of society is obsessed with it.

I'm not saying I didn't get drunk (many times) in my youth, and I'm still not teetotal, but I don't have any urge at all to drink lots, get drunk and then have a hangover.

So, what are the positives of drinking . . . . . ?

Flobbadobs Mon 24-Jun-13 10:57:27

Penny
Erm.... Dickheads in the bar don't seem quite so dickheaded when you've had a beer or 2?

HesterShaw Mon 24-Jun-13 13:11:44

Positives of drinking for me?
It's nice
It relaxes me
I turn into the wittiest most beautiful person on the planet.

HesterShaw Mon 24-Jun-13 13:14:59

Oops, pressed post too early. So yes, wine creates a delusion, which I find more addictive than the stuff itself. I do like drinking. I do like the fun I have when drinking. However I have come to dislike the hangovers more than I like the being tipsy (not drunk, tipsy). As I get older, the hangovers become more severe and I find myself thinking "You're 38, this is ridiculous."

I have cut right back since we have been TTC and even if this fertility treatment all eventually fails, I don't think I will ever drink as much as I used to again.

KellyElly Mon 24-Jun-13 13:22:04

So, what are the positives of drinking . . . . . ? Everything on the night, practically nothing the next day (or the next few days the older you get) grin

sunseasurf Mon 24-Jun-13 13:30:03

Rachtoteach - I am in a very similar situation. I also wish to cut the alcohol out completely, due to seeing the effects on my parents, various other family members, and now my DH sad. I need support in not slipping back into regular and increasingly heavy drinking. I also cannot be enabling my DH to drink, as he will use any excuse to drink excessively.

I will keep referring to this thread for encouragement.

tupuedes Mon 24-Jun-13 14:31:22

Alcohol helps ugly uninteresting people get sex.

ThatsHandy Mon 24-Jun-13 14:46:19

I'm 6 months pregnant, and pre-pregnancy I would easily get through 2-4 bottles of rose wine a week (more if seeing friends).

I have noticed my teeth are whiter than white nowadays, even though I haven't changed my toothpaste/ mouthwash etc. All I can think is the wine must have discoloured them- I totally love my new teeth, and my boss even asked if I'd had them 'done' the other day!

grin

TweedWasSoLastYear Mon 24-Jun-13 15:57:56

you are alot safer being out at night if you are not drunk, too many predatory males on the look out for girls who are pissed in most town centers . imo.

hmm Tweed? Victim blaming much?

CHJR Mon 24-Jun-13 17:32:21

More time! Amazing how much time drinking seems to suck in...

CHJR Mon 24-Jun-13 17:39:35

Feeling proud of my self-control! Really, showing love for yourself.
Convenience of being able to hop in the car without thinking twice.

Downside of not drinking: having to notice how dumb the people around you become after just a few. Amazingly dumb!

BrokenBanana Mon 24-Jun-13 17:39:36

I'm in much the same position as you OP, except my mum has been an obvious alcoholic for a long long time. I've noticed myself needing alcohol more, sometimes a few times a week. I'd be up for joining a dry July thread, I'm desperate not to turn in to my mother!

babyjane1 Tue 25-Jun-13 17:22:38

Hi guys been searching for this thread for ages, just marking my place and will post later x x

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Tue 25-Jun-13 17:31:26

I'm sorry about your mum, OP, it must be very hard to watch. I have no experience of alcoholism, am teetotal myself and have been since going bananas in early teens until 17 when I just stopped. Because of that I'm not sure that anything I post is going to be relevant but will post it just in case.

I'm wondering what it feels like to be alcohol dependent. I just don't know what it's like and I wonder whether the 'benefits' as posted above really would register at all to somebody who has such a severe problem with alcohol.

Everybody's come up with good and useful suggestions but I wonder if they'll be 'white noise' to your mum. Have you ever asked her how it feels? How she feels when she drinks? When she can't drink? What her worries are for the future? Her responses might give you some insight that would help you to think of the best suggestions to tackle the problem and actually make it meaningful and 'fit' with your mum's thoughts too.

Pennyacrossthehall Tue 25-Jun-13 17:35:23

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain Tweed? Victim blaming much?

Scenario: You are a deer. Most of the other animals in the forest have no interest in eating you, but a small number do. If you blindfold yourself and tie your feet together, are you more vulnerable?

Important note: the question is not whether it is fair.

Turniptwirl Tue 25-Jun-13 17:45:14

No hangovers and wasted weekends while you recover!

Being the sober one with the camera who remembers what their drunk friends got up to

All that money saved can be spent on something else

Smoke less if you're a smoker, as all the smokers I know smoke far more if they're drinking at the same time

Paying less tax

Pigsmummy Tue 25-Jun-13 17:50:43

Great thread, I looked and felt fantastic after not drinking in pregnancy and when bf'ing,sadly slipped back to having a couple of glasses of wine in the evening, now overweight and tired looking, so seriously cutting back. Allowing myself a drink as a treat only rather than the norm. Can't wait to get into my slim clothes again and get the zest for life back!

Pigsmummy Tue 25-Jun-13 17:59:29

Some has recommended hyno therapy to help cut down drinking, you might give that a go too?

Anyone have any experience of that?

FoundAChopinLizt Tue 25-Jun-13 18:07:29

Great thread, thanks OP, I hope it helps you.

I drink only moderately but aim to drink less, maybe half a bottle of wine over the weekend instead of one bottle. Mainly because I'm trying to get fit and I can feel how it affects my running the day after even a glass or two. I also avoid sugar in food so it makes no sense to drink wine.

Also saving £5-6 a week would be nice, I could a book or two on my kindle for that.

dufflefluffle Tue 25-Jun-13 18:11:27

Not staying up later than you need to. Not eating more than you need to. being able to run/exercise better and first thing in the morning.

babyjane1 Tue 25-Jun-13 18:17:06

Hi to all, been recommended this thread by a fellow brave babe on the brave babes on the bus thread (the bus being sobriety) there is lot of fun posts but also a serious common link in that we are all trying to cut down/cut out alcohol. I am 42 with 2DD's 2 and 14, after my surprise baby at 40 I suffered horrendous post natal depression, I sought solace in wine, soon a bottle a night was the norm. I've gained weight and my depression fed on my wine habit!!! After my doc informed me that my anti depressants were totally counteracts by the wine, I decided to cut right back, I feel totally different and much more hopeful about my anxiety and depression lifting as it is already. This is a brilliant thread encouraging me to continue my abstinence but I also want to lose weight and create a whole new me, only downside so far, I'm eating chocolate in vast quantities for the first time in my life, I'm ready to embark on a healthy eating and exercise regime and have joined slimming world so I'm hoping thus thread will give me r encouragement and support and hope I can do the same for as anyone here hoping to discover a slimmer, healthier lifestyle too x x

DarceyBissell Tue 25-Jun-13 18:20:34

Penny - well said.

maddening Tue 25-Jun-13 20:42:40

Also - if you don't drink for 6 weeks - barring any permanent scarring - your liver will be back to normal - and each time you binge you scar your liver - so a couple of good reasons to stop and if you don't do so permanently a good reason to keep the drinking in check - binge drinking and heavy long term drinking can do permanent liver damage.

YoungBritishPissArtist Wed 26-Jun-13 00:54:08

Thanks, maddening. I didn't know that. Will be sharing these facts you've mentioned with a few people!

EstelleGetty Wed 26-Jun-13 11:02:13

I really feel for you, Rach. I suffer from generalised anxiety disorder and have often sought solace in alcohol. I'm doing OK at staying away from it now. I can have a glass or 2 with dinner on a special occasion, but don't get smashed anymore. My parents, who are fantastic, were both heavy drinkers (but only on Friday and Saturday nights) when I was a child. They would get absolutely wasted and, because I went to bed before I saw the worst of it, I thought it all looked like great fun. Now that I'm older, I can see there were problems.

All the suggestions about benefits for your physical health, finances, etc are very wise. But for me the most important one is that I know I have more control over my emotions when I don't drink. The fear and low mood I get after a night's drinking is unbearable. Alcohol brings all my bad emotions up to the surface and lowers my defences so it's harder to rationalise what's going on in my head. You sound like you have a lot on your plate with your DM and I wish you both happiness. But you're so much more able to cope with the crap life throws at you without the depressant/anxiety-causing effects of drink.

Apologies if this has already been mentioned upthread, but Allen Carr's book The Easy Way to Control Alcohol might be worth a look.

Stay strong, OP, you're worth more than the booze.

happyyonisleepyyoni Wed 26-Jun-13 11:07:09

more money for chocolate!

Crowler Wed 26-Jun-13 11:08:20

I gave up drinking at home about 4 months ago, which means I now drink about 5 units of alcohol a week. I am very pleased with this.

Here is a really good thing: You can easily get by with 1 or 2 less hours of sleep a night when you're not drinking. You don't need as much. So, you pull free time out of the sky!

My eye whites are much whiter.

Good luck!

HardlyMotherTheresa Wed 26-Jun-13 11:13:25

Much lower risk of breast cancer. The figures are astonishing. I think your base lifetime risk is 1%. Every unit of alcohol per day increases that by 1% So if you have 2 units of alcohol every day, your risk goes from 1% to 3% I have no idea why so few people know that.

Blueskiesandcherrypies Fri 06-Jun-14 07:19:36

Hi all, this thread is coming up to be a year old, but I hope you don't mind me commenting. I've been laying in bed this morning reading the whole thread and it's really boosted my decision to either drastically cut down, or completely cut out, alcohol. Dry nights in our house are becoming very rare and I so want that to change. Fed up of feeling crap due to too much wine. I want to return to being able to seek enjoyment from the small things in life, alcohol not required!

dawndonnaagain Fri 06-Jun-14 07:42:05

Good luck Blueskies. It really isn't that hard. I cut down about four years ago due to wanting to lose a bit of weight. All of a sudden it was six months since I'd bought a bottle of wine (dh doesn't drink due to heavy medication). Now I do birthday and Christmas and that's about it. I'll have one glass and don't usually fancy another.

littlewhitebag Fri 06-Jun-14 07:58:48

Hi Blueskies I have been thinking exactly the same. My DH and i are not ones for big boozy nights out but it is more normal than not for a bottle of wine to be opened (and finished) of an evening. On a Friday we might drink a bottle each.

I find myself very tired and sluggish in the mornings even though i am not hungover. I would like to spring out of bed after a great sleep ready to face the day.

I think i am going to cut down in June, perhaps just wine at weekends, then have dry July and see how i go.

Blueskiesandcherrypies Fri 06-Jun-14 08:18:07

Thanks for your responses smile.

Little, that's our pattern too though recently we open that dreaded second bottle of wine on a week night far too often......

We are going on holiday in 2 weeks and I would love not to drink. I might have one with an evening meal and stop at that, it wouldn't feel like holiday otherwise and DH would think I'm a party pooper - is that bad?!

I had a similar epiphany at New Year after I had a drink related accident and sustained a serious head injury after falling over drunk. My dad is also an alcoholic and I realised I was drinking far too regularly and far too much. I haven't touched a drop since, and I genuinely don't want to. I'm petrified that next time I stumble and fall, it'll kill me.

I feel so much healthier for it! My skin has improved, my hair looks better, I'm sleeping far better than I was (when I get to sleep, as the head injury has left me with insomnia!), and the real biggy for me is the amount of money I've saved. I still get invited to, and go to, social events, but I drink lime and soda nowadays and get to laugh at my friends when they are slurring and staggering around! But I'm also compus mentus enough to ensure they get home safely.

I wouldn't recommend a brain haemmorrage and a stay in hospital as a cure for drinking, but I would definitely recommend stopping. Now I just need to have a chocolate related accident and my weight problem would be solved... grin

tigerdriverII Fri 06-Jun-14 08:39:11

What an interesting thread and interesting to see it revived, too. I don't know if I saw it last year, if I had done I would have dismissed it as not for me. At the time I was getting through about 5 bottles of wine a week (possibly some denial there). Now, and for the last five months, I drink nothing - I love it and all of the benefits above are absolutely true. blueskies there are a couple of threads on here you might like - the Brave Babes and DRY. I lurk on them.

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