to think that most of the time, it's not about you, frankly

(29 Posts)
TanglednotTamed Sun 23-Jun-13 14:56:01

So many threads on here by OPs who are offended that someone else stood close to them / said something that could possibly be interpreted as a criticism of them / looked at them funny / failed to take notice of them. Etc. Etc. Etc.

AIBU to think that in 99% of cases, the other person is probably barely aware of the OP's existence? And that the OP is just projecting their own prejudice/secret fears/sensitivity on the world around them?

Or perhaps it's just me who is fairly oblivious to other people.

rainrainandmorerain Sun 23-Jun-13 15:04:37

So glad you said that OP. I think there's a lot of posters who judge themselves then project that onto other people. Esp judgements about parenting stuff. 'She just gave me this look and I could tell she was thinking omg that apple juice is from Aldi and I bet she makes her own organic meals from scratch blah blah blah'. Or so and so blanked me at the playground WHAT A BITCH. etc.

I honestly don't think most people/parents spend that much time judging other parents. They just don't. Maybe I am v thick skinned or have just been lucky. I do think there are a lot of mums out there who aren't very confident in their parenting for whatever reason, and are very sensitive to the possibility of criticism. sad

TanglednotTamed Sun 23-Jun-13 15:07:51

So when I stand near you, rain and say something to my DC, or say nothing at all, or look at you, or don't look at you - you won't be thinking, WHAT A BITCH! Thank goodness for that. Perhaps we could be friends, except that neither of us will have really noticed the other one grin

Dackyduddles Sun 23-Jun-13 15:09:14

Ach everyone's a star these days eh?

fabergeegg Sun 23-Jun-13 15:10:23

Nothing like a bit of drama to get you through the day though.

Wahla Sun 23-Jun-13 15:11:28

Yes I agree. Post like that always make me think of this quote "you would not worry so much about what others really thought of you if you knew how seldom they did".

WorraLiberty Sun 23-Jun-13 15:15:16

I agree OP

And often when I read "The cashier scowled at me", "The parent said with a sneer", "The other person tutted", "MIL demanded to see the DC"

I think really? and tilt my head a bit grin

YouTheCat Sun 23-Jun-13 15:15:52

I actually know of 2 grown women who have reported a TA for 'looking at them funny'. hmm

And the sad thing is because it has been done in writing, they have to investigate.

People are bloody stupid mainly. I avoid them.

SilverViking Sun 23-Jun-13 15:25:27

How very true OP, so many posters do appear 'me-me-me'.

WafflyVersatile Sun 23-Jun-13 15:26:04

I have a couple of friends who say stuff that makes me wonder. Every where they go they are treated atrociously whether by shop assistants or bus drivers or workmates or friends or some random in the street. This doesn't happen to me.

Maybe people mistake me for the queen so are always polite or I'm too much in my own world to notice, or I do notice but my brain can't cope with the trauma and I block it out.

I mean there is the odd occasion when I think 'what was that about' or 'bit rude' but I just assume they've got their own hang ups are just in an irritable mood same as me when I'm in a bad mood and someone manoeuvres themselves in front of me in the bus scrummage and I tut to myself before moving on, physically and emotionally while on another day I wouldn't notice or might manoeuvre a bit myself.

Ragwort Sun 23-Jun-13 15:29:31

Totally agree with you, so many mumsnetters seem totally obsessed with themselves, I don't come across many people like this in RL, I can't believe the sensitivity of some posters or the offence that some people take at normal social niceties - ie: smiling at your baby in the supermarket is hardly a crime is it? hmm.

TanglednotTamed Sun 23-Jun-13 15:41:21

Just waiting for someone to come on here now and accuse me of targeting them personally with this thread. It would illustrate my point so beautifully, I really hope they do!

YouTheCat Sun 23-Jun-13 15:44:37

Are you looking at me? grin

TanglednotTamed Sun 23-Jun-13 15:46:50

Yes, Cat, and you know what I'm thinking, don't you - I'm judging you for that thing, you know, the thing you do. Or don't do. Or whatever. grin

valiumredhead Sun 23-Jun-13 15:51:50

I agree worragrin

WorraLiberty Sun 23-Jun-13 15:52:07

Does anyone else wonder if they've ever been the subject of an internet thread? grin

You know that person you half smiled at in a sympathetic way because their child was having a full on supermarket tantrum?....and you just wanted to show them a bit of support?

They could be starting threads all over the internet about a sneering, judgmental, tutting bitch shock

YouTheCat Sun 23-Jun-13 15:53:56

It wouldn't bother me if I was tbh. I'm not that paranoid and tend to pass by completely unnoticed - to the point of virtual invisibility whilst trying to politely get past old farts in Sainsburys.

Trills Sun 23-Jun-13 15:59:00

YANBU

Trills Sun 23-Jun-13 15:59:42
Miamiami Sun 23-Jun-13 16:01:30

Yes have to say I agree with you OP. I can think of a least one MNer who goes on about their life and never even tries to help the OP of any thread they are on confused Its called the memememememe syndrome grin

Buzzardbird Sun 23-Jun-13 16:03:48

Now I know you are talking about me...I'm an old fart and go to Sainsburys. sad I just knew this thread would be all about me, you bitches!

lolaflores Sun 23-Jun-13 16:06:01

trills laughing here but no one can tell, I have a bitchy resting face...really laughing...NOT.
That is honestly the funniest thing I have seen in ages. Thank you so much....

WafflyVersatile Sun 23-Jun-13 16:06:39

I was puffing my face up then squeezing my cheeks with my hands and making a farty noise at a child on the bus the other day.

Has anyone seen a thread about me?

grin at Trills

I used to be constantly worried about people thinking and judging me all the time but I've managed to actually tell myself, most people couldn't care less and that person who accidentally blanked me didn't see me they weren't being mean etc; and that, tbh, most people, including me, live in our own little bubble so when we think someone's doing something to us, they're not.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 23-Jun-13 16:14:31

I'm the snotty snob who walks around ignoring people because I'm actually a bit shy and socially inept.

I will try harder to speak to people if they will try not to up me in the snobbishness and actually be snotty to me first.

sad

noisytoys Sun 23-Jun-13 16:25:59

I'm oblivious to all this. I've never seen anyone with a bitchy resting face. Maybe I'm the one with the bitchy resting face confused

My friend has a BRF. Drunk women start with her all the time as she looks like shed giving them funny looks. Its just how her face is! grin

I have a docile resting face.

Portofino Sun 23-Jun-13 16:41:39

I smiled at a cute baby on the tram last week, and her eyes went all wide, and she let out an ear piercing shriek. I didn't think I was THAT scary looking in the morning.

WafflyVersatile Sun 23-Jun-13 16:55:26

I have a BRF I think. I have a frown line and do tend to walk about thinking about what's bothering me.

don't hate me.

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