"I've only read the first few posts..."

(113 Posts)
Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 14:41:54

"...and none of the last 15 pages so I'm about to say something completely irrelevant and unhelpful or repeat something that's already been said twenty times".

AIBU to find this a incredibly annoying?

ImperialBlether Sun 23-Jun-13 14:43:46

Yes, it's really rude and very annoying.

What also bugs me is when people say, "I came on here to tell you you were being unreasonable..." - how can they say that when they haven't read the opening post?

YANBU. RTFT every time. angry

I've done this before, sorry. Does it still count if I only do it to reply to a point that someone else (not the OP) makes? blush

bruffin Sun 23-Jun-13 14:45:17

I can understand not wanting to wade through thundreds of posts but at least read all of ops posts, which are higjlighted so easy to find.

Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 14:45:35

Thank god for that. As a newbie I've been biting my tongue for a couple of weeks.

tethersend Sun 23-Jun-13 14:46:58

I've only read the first few posts, but I can understand not wanting to wade through thundreds of posts but at least read all of ops posts, which are higjlighted so easy to find.

Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 14:47:00

I guess sometimes it does MrsMango, and sometimes it doesn't. That's the danger.

So often it's done in a kind of "what I've got to say is more important than anything you've said so I'm not going to bother reading" way.

Yes Vivacia really it's 'I CBA to read any of the thread but here is my very important opinion anyway'.

YoniBottsBumgina Sun 23-Jun-13 14:50:45

YY I don't always read every post in a thread when it's over 100 posts already.

I skim read the important parts - first few posts, all of OP's posts (I have them highlighted also) and then the last 20 or so so I can follow where the discussion has actually gone.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Sun 23-Jun-13 14:55:40

YANBU. It just highlights who are the people that value their own opinion above everybody else's. They can't be bothered to read other people's comments because they are that desperate to impart their "wisdom" on the world.

If you don't read the whole thread there's a good possibility you will post something somebody else has already said.

monicalewinski Sun 23-Jun-13 14:57:50

Sorry to go on a tangent, but the OP's posts aren't highlighted for me - should I be doing something to make that happen?

YANBU it does my head in.

Don't want to read? Fine. Commenting anyway? Not fine.

It's very simple, really.

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 14:59:24

Sorry, I haven't read the full thread but I was coming here to tell you YABU. confused

Seriously though, I'm on my iPhone and it doesn't highlight the OP like the laptop does. So in those cases, YABU.


DeepPurple Sun 23-Jun-13 15:00:03

I don't know if anyone else said this cos I CBA to read it but YANBU. grin

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Sun 23-Jun-13 15:02:22

I especially dislike the ones where the OP has accepted quite politely that they were being unreasonable and thanked everyone for their comments etc and then someone barges in at the end who hasn't RTFT and says something like OMG YAB so U YOU IMMATURE HORRID OP!

Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 15:04:03

Heh, I was asking for some of these replies!

Feegle, really? Don't you worry about saying something that could be quite damaging or hurtful for the OP to read? I'm thinking of cases when more information has come out, or the situation has changed?

IceNoSlice Sun 23-Jun-13 15:05:02

Drives me nuts. YANBU.

I just trawled through a full 30 pages (on chat) so I could comment sensibly and when I got to the end the thread had been suspended because it had reached the 1000 post limit! bah!

Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 15:05:49

Yes, that too Amy (15:02).

Also, thanks to the thread for introducing me to "RTFT" that sums it up quite nicely.

flippinada Sun 23-Jun-13 15:06:11

I think if it's a lighthearted thread, an opinion thread or a thread asking people to post their experiences about something then not reading the whole thing or just the last few posts is fine.

OTOH, wading in with a thoughtless post on thread started by an OP who is distressed/upset and asking for support displays a distinct lack of sensitivity.

In other words use your judgement smile.

monica yes you have to do it yourself but I can't find where now. Anyone help?

ParsleyTheLioness Sun 23-Jun-13 15:13:53

I think you can do it via customise, top left of page.

SelectAUserName Sun 23-Jun-13 15:14:44

Monica It's one of the options in 'Customise' at the top under the 'Mumsnet Talk' heading (assuming you're on a laptop/PC). You can also choose to highlight your own posts, have all posts in a thread display on one page automatically, reverse the order in which posts display (so newest first) and other stuff like that.

Thanks Parsley I though it was in My Mumsnet.

And you can bookmark!

ParsleyTheLioness Sun 23-Jun-13 15:15:22

You're welcom grin

If the thread is long, j read the first page, the last two pages and then post. If it's about specifically asking for help or info surrounding their circumstances though, I read the full thread as otherwise it's all too easy to skip over information,

mrsjay Sun 23-Jun-13 15:15:40

I am not guilty of this I always read ALL the replies and pages before i post (cough) blush I am terrible for it and I realise it is annoying

Mintyy Sun 23-Jun-13 15:16:08


fabergeegg Sun 23-Jun-13 15:19:29

Only read the first few posts but just popped on.

AIBU is a question, not a chat. It thrives on a medley of first responses and doesn't belong to the select few who have lost all perspective because they've been labouring a point for half an hour.

A new post is like a breath of fresh air smile

MammaTJ Sun 23-Jun-13 15:21:06

FeegleFion my iphone hightlights the OP the same as my lap top does.


Seriously though, I'm on my iPhone and it doesn't highlight the OP like the laptop does. So in those cases, YABU

I'm on my iPhone right now and the OP's posts are highlighted! So you're still NBU grin

If I see a thread that looks interesting but it has more than 3 pages already I tend to think everything has been said anyway.

HollyBerryBush Sun 23-Jun-13 15:22:36

I highlight mine and the OPs posts. I may choose to ignore reading everyone else inbetween, I read the OPs posts to see if she had been convinced one way or another or given out any more pertinent information.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Sun 23-Jun-13 15:23:40

Ooh I didn't know about the highlighting! I've changed mine now and its BEAUTIFUL.

bruffin Sun 23-Jun-13 15:24:42

If you cant highlight just put ops name on find on page and you can work your way through them that way.

Yes, I think sometimes if you read the Ops post you can get enough of the thread to establish whether to post Holly. If it's not pages long.

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 15:28:52

YANBU Its really annoying when people do this, it makes threads all disjointed and circular as people jump in to make a point that has already been discussed at at length, and kill the discussion. Not a breath of fresh air at all, just annoying.

Floggingmolly Sun 23-Jun-13 15:29:34

But isn't being told to read the thread working on the assumption that there'll have been drip feeding by the op? You should be able to respond to the original post without reference to other people's views on the subject...
Btw, excuse me if I'm missing something vital, I've only read the op smile

schilke Sun 23-Jun-13 15:29:43

I sometimes read the first few pages, op's posts and then skip to the end. I tend not to post on a thread that is 14 pages long though tbh - no way I'm going to read all through that. Quite often they go way off the original topic and then a couple of pages of bickering in the middle!

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 23-Jun-13 15:31:54

I sometimes don't read the whole thread. I do however read the first and last two pages before adding a comment of my own. Threads here can change a lot so IMO it is stupid and insensitive to simply read the first page and then go blundering in.


usualsuspect Sun 23-Jun-13 15:32:03

Sometimes I just reply to the OP, sometimes I skim read the thread.

Depends how long the thread is.

Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 15:34:07

Why do you think I'm being unreasonable schilke ?

Everyone's responses have made me realise that I don't always feel like my first post described. I was thinking mainly of the advice/help threads rather than the general fact-finding discussions asking for others' experiences and opinions.

Dackyduddles Sun 23-Jun-13 15:35:51

If post is enough to fuel emotion I might read some answers to find gist of where conversation has evolved to.
Then again, like this one, I really might not care and just answer direct.

All perfectly valid options. No one owns a thread, even op.


I don't mind when people post on a thread then say 'I am going to read the whole thread now'. At least they admit they haven't but they are about to.

It's true nobody 'owns' a thread but it is courtesy to read it if you are going to post.

Ooh, I always read all the OPs posts, and I wouldn't try giving advice without reading, or at least skimming ,the whole thing. I've just done a search to check when I've done this, and I'm fairly certain it's only to add personal experience. I do also go back and skim through the bits I've missed afterwards. Is that more acceptable?

Oh, and I do say I haven't read it all yet. grin

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 15:54:37

Vicacia the first part of my post was tongue in cheek I think I'm funny, at least

If it's a serious post, I take the time. If I have a contribution to make, I want to make it relevant and a thread often moves at a fast pace, so it's NU to read it and post based on the entire conversation IYSWIM?

As for highlighting on my phone... Umm those of you who are clued up and have it thus, would you pleeeease share your wisdom. I want to do that! grin

Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 16:01:43

Feegle, I was asking in response to your second sentence. Why do you feel it is unreasonable of me to expect people to read what others have said before making their own point (for all of the reasons in my first post).

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 16:16:04

I don't, not at all. I was being funny silly because my iPhone doesn't highlight.

Like I say, if it's a serious post, it's only right to read the thread and I do. Sometimes I'll skim the op, and then flip the thread to see what the OP is saying and then respond but I will always go back and read the thread. There really is no point getting involved if I don't.

I actually don't think you are BU in the slightest. I've started threads or have posted in threads in which it's very obvious when posters haven't bothered to read any of the conversation and I've had to reiterate the same point I made again and again and it's not only rude on the posters behalf, it's bloody boring having to repeat yourself.

everlong Sun 23-Jun-13 16:22:27


I've only read your OP as that is what's relevant.

same here with highlighting. you dont get it on the app so not an option for all

or i cant find it blush

scarfaceace Sun 23-Jun-13 16:42:06

I think it would be a good idea for there to be an option to 'agree' or 'disagree' on what someone has said - that way you can agree or disagree but don't actually have to write it all over again if it's already been said. I mean, if 20 or 30 people are going to repeat what others say, then it would save having to wade through an awful lot of unnecessary comments if they just agreed or disagreed. Sorry if I haven't explained myself properly. Also, the 'agree' and 'disagree' could have numbers to show how many have people actually clicked the button. Just a thought.

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 17:24:31

scar I totally agree!

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 17:30:43

scarface - thats what the Daily Mail does with its green and red arrow buttons.

Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 17:39:50

How does using the app stop you from reading posts other than the OP? I post from my phone sometimes, but not via an app.

TinaSurrey Sun 23-Jun-13 17:42:57

Result! Thanks to this thread I discovered that I can highlight posts & how to do it.

Most useful - thanks to those that explained how. It works perfectly and I am on my iPhone.

(I don't use the app though as the adverts at top/foot of page annoy me so just go on via favourites in Safari. You get it fitted to phone screen layout without losing part of the page to ads. What is advantage of the app - I could only see downsides?)

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 23-Jun-13 17:50:38

Oh yes. It is really annoying. And invariably makes the person look daft. You don't have to read each and every post on a long thread but as others have said, reading the OPs posts is vital.

Otherwise you miss important things and make yourself look like a tit.

But I wouldn't like an agree/disagree button, that's very facebook like and I prefer proper discussion on here. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want 40 likes and 65 dislikes and little in the way of actual debate.

I think everyone has something to contribute and clicking a button instead of participating would mean the site would lose something valuable. Plus, what would a counter showing X agrees and Y disagrees actually add to a debate?

I think an Agree/Disagree button would just produce a thread with no actual discussion.

If things change on the thread it isn't always about drip-feeding. On AIBU the poster might change their mind, in an advice thread something new might have happened/something has changed.

It happens on really short 2/3 page threads sometimes, which is just rude!

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 17:57:19

Sparklingbrook I think an Agree/Disagree button would just produce a thread with no actual discussion. Just like the DM then grin

nenevomito Sun 23-Jun-13 17:57:19

Bugger that for a lark. Like I'm going to sit and read through pages of other people's brain dumping before sharing my nugget of wisdom with the world.

Sometimes if the first few posts are interesting I'll RTFT and usually I remember to read the last few posts before mine, but the stuff in between is just noise.

nenevomito Sun 23-Jun-13 17:58:07

I'll go as far as reading all of the OPs posts if its a long one.

I've only read the first few posts but I'd say YANBU. wink

That is very true MA. shock

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 18:08:33

I totally disagree that an agree/ disagree option would kill a discussion.

Lets be honest here, Vipers, we're all far too opinionated to not participate in something that piqued our interest.

I think the like/ dislike thing is definitely worth a shot.

There are often times when a previous poster has said something that I'd really like to applaud. And then there are other posts that would benefit from a massive thumbs down.

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 18:08:44

but the stuff in between is just noise. I think it wouldnt be noise if threads were allowed to develop properly, by say, everyone posting having read what went before and therefore not repeating stuff. Then it would be a discussion which develops and changes as it goes along. If you dont want to join in the discussion at the point where it currently is, then you should post on a thread that has just started and accept that you have missed the boat. Its no longer about responding to the original post, its where the discussion has developed to which is relevant.

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 18:11:35

It already exists feegle you can comment AND do thumbs up and thumbs down. Its over here: www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html

nenevomito Sun 23-Jun-13 18:13:21


Threads on AIBU don't ever develop properly. I'm certainly not going to read 8 pages are YABU / YANBU
Oh no she isn't!
Oh yes she is!
Oh no she isn't!
Oh yes she is!

Tis noise, and panto noise at that.

nenevomito Sun 23-Jun-13 18:13:53

Oh MummyAbroad. I'll definitely treat anything you write as Noise now after linking to the DM.

usualsuspect Sun 23-Jun-13 18:16:09

Nooooooo to agree and disagree shite.

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 18:17:48

Yes, AIBU is an exception. It is a YES/NO question after all.

But as for the rest of the site, I'd much rather read peoples comments which might make me think about something more, than just read an opinion poll of stats telling me how many other people agree or disagree.

Hell to the no. I'd have faaaar too many people giving me thumbs down and then I'd have to go drown myself in a bottle of cheapo ASDA own brand cider.

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 18:19:31

I'd much rather read peoples comments which might make me think about something more, than just read an opinion poll of stats telling me how many other people agree or disagree. which is why I dont read the DM. Was just trying to be helpful to anyone who wanted to find a "simpler" way of debating....

Plus I'd never get any thread reading done because I'd just spend all day giving thumbs down to posters I don't particularly like. <runs away>

usualsuspect Sun 23-Jun-13 18:21:31

People would just use it arse lick.

Sometimes I do actually think ABF I'd an evil genius.


Hullo there usual, well, obviously, I'd thumbs up everyfing you wrote cos you write All The Sensible stuff. <<slurp slirp slupperty slurp>>

Is an evil....

Fecking ipod.

scottishmummy Sun 23-Jun-13 18:35:24

doesn't bother me,but makes poster look like a tit as they subsequent missed updates

Only read the title wink but YANBU grin

Trills Sun 23-Jun-13 18:48:01

I find it's quite fun to reply only to the title of threads sometimes.

Reading the first few posts is less efficient than just reading the OP's posts (if you are disinclined to read the whole thread).

ilovexmastime Sun 23-Jun-13 18:57:07

They make me laugh, like scottishmummy said, they just make the poster look a bit of a tit - although it's not so bad if they admit they haven't RTFT.

(Am I arse licking scottishmummy? Tastes good whatever it is grin)

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 18:59:22

Mummy rather below the belt, that post. hmm

You may say you prefer to read every comment, and in fact, I'm in total agreement.

However, we obviously disagree on whether or not some kind visual nod to particular posts would be beneficial to the site.

In all honestly, though, I don't see the need for cheap very boring rude, potshots.

I only bother reading it if it's by someone I like. I avoid all the threads by arseholes and/or boring people.


Me too Eleanor. It's why I'm never to be seen on any of your threads...


I woudl answer you Ferret, but I have you on Hide Poster.



FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 19:05:30

To clarify, was for MummyAbroad now there are 2 mummy's grin

I can definitely see why people think it's a shite idea, and TBF, I hadn't thought about the 'lets all love so and so's posts'. Great point, well made.

If anyone knows me, on here, very doubtful they know I'm tenacious in my love of debate and if something moves me to respond, a thumbs up/ down won't stop me.

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 19:06:12

i have been slapped on the wrist blush Feegle I apologise for suggesting that you might be better off over at the the DM, as you said, bit below the belt, I think I was just reacting to you saying there was no need to read the middle of a thread because its just noise, rather than the button thing. I thought that was quite an arrogant attitude and I didnt like it, I am glad not everyone on MN thinks the same though.

I promise not to tell anyone to tell anyone to bog off to DM again. Twas low. <humble>

Who said that??

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 19:09:37

You have me mixed up MummyAbroad I said nothing of the sort.

I actually said I always read the whole thread, sometimes acknowledging that I need to go back to catch up but I think it rude of a poster not to read the thread and boring for anyone who is involved who must repeat themselves because others haven't bothered to keep up.

It was actually that atrocious cunt babyheave who said it's all background noise.

<twirls wooden spoon>

melika Sun 23-Jun-13 19:15:47

YABU sometimes you haven't got time to wade through but you have something important to tell OP.

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 19:17:06

ABF shock Miaow! wink

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 19:18:10

oh yes, I am really putting my foot in it today. I meant to reply to babyheave

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 19:19:20

grin at miaow!

Oh MummyAbroad. Didnt you read the thread properly?


FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 19:20:57

No harm done. grin

I actually really appreciate anyone on MN who has the grace to accept there's been miscommunication. It's not very common on here but it's how I play and is nice to see.

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 19:21:20

<in for a penny in for a pound>

melika thats just very arrogant. Aren't the other comments "important"? or are you being tongue in cheek?

Basically anything I write is important. The rest is just background noise.

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 19:23:42

grin at eleanor

We have hit page 5! that means this is where its gonna get really boring because a bunch of people who haven't read the thread will come along and send the conversation right back to the beginning...

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 19:26:25

Eleanor you have just made a great point!

Mummy Have you skimmed past the noise ? shockgrin

MummyAbroad Sun 23-Jun-13 19:32:22

smile no, have been reading the thread since it started, just mixed up feegle and babyheaves names and did some untimely postings on my third world internet connection.

Vivacia Sun 23-Jun-13 19:33:33

I thought Melika was being ironic.

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 19:41:24

Umm, no Vivacia s/he wasn't. Just offering their opinion.

DeckSwabber Sun 23-Jun-13 19:42:08

Well, I haven't ready teh whole thread but I am eternally grateful for the tip on customising. The things you learn....!

melika Sun 23-Jun-13 19:43:58

Umm, how do you know?

FeegleFion Sun 23-Jun-13 20:02:25

Are you serious Melika? Your actually just on the lookout for a bunfight aren't you?

monicalewinski Sun 23-Jun-13 20:14:20

Sparklingbrook & SelectAUserName thanks for directing me to the set up stuff (realise this is completely out of context now as the thread has moved on heaps, but I've been out and didn't want to be rude and not say thanks!)

Aww thanks monica. i have been on here since Oct 11 and only just found the bookmark thing. grin

Vivacia Mon 05-Aug-13 14:53:32

FFS this is still driving me up the wall. I have come here to rant about it rather than interrupt the thread it's happening on but for goodness' sake.

and breathe

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now