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.. to wonder if we all wee outdoors in the same way

(72 Posts)
5Foot5 Fri 21-Jun-13 15:48:41

Since reading another thread today regarding children weeing out of doors, I have been musing on how one would supply practical instructions to a novice (or very young female) for having an al-fresco wee.

My first stab would go as follows:

1) Pull underwear, tights and/or trousers down as far as they will go.
2) Stand with feet as far apart as possible. (This will not be as far apart as usual because of your pants etc. being around your ankles)
3) Pull the aforementioned garments forward as much as you can.
4) Squat - but try to angle your body slightly forward so lady parts pointing downwards.
5) Commence wee but try to avoid full flow initially so that you have time to observe the trajectory and adjust position if necessary
6) On completion shake from side to side until all drops stop then adjust clothing.

I suppose one should include instructions up front about choosing a suitable location (in much the same way that road crossing instructions always start with choosing a safe place to cross)

Does anyone disagree strongly with the above? It would be interesting to find out if I have been doing it wrong all these years or anyone has any useful additional tips.

Also how would one go about setting up safe environments and opportunities for a young person to practice this skill?

TheEarlOf Fri 21-Jun-13 16:07:19

I feel a bit gross talking about it but I would pull my pants/clothes back not forward, but proceed the same as you otherwise

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 16:10:24

Yup do exactly the same as you 5Foot5.

Rather successful I am at it too. Apart from once it ALL went wrong.

paperclips Fri 21-Jun-13 16:25:25

I'd agree. Pull clothes forwards but somehow angle self so wee goes a bit backwards thus missing clothes.

Beware nettles, brambles, thistles etc.

Gbnewbie Fri 21-Jun-13 16:28:11

Think you've got it right. Def be careful if nettles though. Caught short on the way back from a concert at kenwood I was assaulted by nettles hmm

Amyo83 Fri 21-Jun-13 16:31:03

Helpful step by step and useful too for when visiting countries where squatting loos are the norm. I however find I have to completely remove clothes from one leg - lack of trajectory control!!

ChunkyPickle Fri 21-Jun-13 16:34:25

Only take underwear down a little way - just enough to be able to pull forward - otherwise you risk puddles of wee around foot, try to move, get tangled and fall over..

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 16:48:11

Voice of bitter experience ChunkyPickle...?

Of course the best thing to do is remember to take underwear down at all....

KitCat26 Fri 21-Jun-13 16:51:50

Same as you 5foot, but it is handy to lean back onto a tree occasionally. Or invest in a she wee.

DD1 has almost mastered the squat pee in the back garden, but the she is only 3 so not quite so shy as an older child. And I did have to wash her trainers last time. DD2 is mostly still in nappies.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 16:52:55

i would do roughly that. Unless unobserved in which case it is possible to do it standing up. You have to aim.

whois Fri 21-Jun-13 16:53:17

Oh no no no!

Pull trousers so the crotch bit is around knees. Squat and get your bum down low and wee under them.

RoooneyMara Fri 21-Jun-13 16:53:18

<instant posting regret>

DottyDot Fri 21-Jun-13 16:59:14

grin Rooneymara

I recently bought a shewee but haven't tried it out yet. Am hoping it works because I am rubbish at outdoor weeing - cant squat to save my life - just can't balance for long enough!

Fast Fri 21-Jun-13 17:03:31

First, check which way the wind is blowing.

BatwingsAndButterflies Fri 21-Jun-13 17:08:24

Lean as far back against a tree as you can so your trajectory is assured.

5Foot5 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:08:42

I must admit I have considered a she-wee having seen them for sale in Fishers a while back. I am going on a walking holiday this summer so did think of asking for one for my birthday which is before then.

However, one or two things concern me and I wonder whether mn experts might be able to give me the benefit of their experience.

Supposing you use it while you are out - what then? I don't like the idea of carrying a soggy device around all day until I can get somewhere to wash it. Does it come in some sort of hygenic container that is itself easily washed out?

Are they relatively easy to use?

Do you need to practice and if so how and where ? I think I read the advice to practice in the shower but, sorry no. Just no. I know some people thing weeing in the shower is OK but I am not one of them.

5Foot5 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:10:07

By the way I am just not getting the leaning on the tree thing. I can't visualise how that works....

chickensaladagain Fri 21-Jun-13 17:10:59

Not sure I've ever had a wee outside in my entire life

My dds definitely haven't -bladders of steel!

NorbertDentressangle Fri 21-Jun-13 17:15:52

I seriously debated buying a she-wee recently after a particularly long and dark 3am walk to some toilets whilst camping so would be interested in knowing how easy they are to use. In a tent for example would you wee into a bottle with it?

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 17:17:03

chickensaladagain -NEVER? NEVER ever?? I bow down to your iron-clad bladder!

TimeofChange Fri 21-Jun-13 17:18:54

Chicken: Goodness. You must live in a big city.

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 17:22:55

I may invest in a SHEWEE!

I once had a very bad situation wee-wise. I wonder if a shewee would have helped!

digerd Fri 21-Jun-13 17:22:57

There were 5 of us all in our late 20s early 30s on a coach trip about mid morning. No public loos as in the countryside, so stopped to hide behind a hedge < facing the hedge and there was a large open field behind which our behinds were in full view ofgrin>

I laughed as looked along the line at out bums sticking out backwards and all of us were at the same height crouching and the bums were in a perfect line of increasing sizes < mine being the smallest at one end>.

No accidents, but can't remember exactly the details of how we did it, as I was worrying about some farmer walking with his dog, but nobody appearedgrin

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 21-Jun-13 17:25:01

Pretty spot on, OP. I hate peeing outdoors though so have on occasion added a 'head in hands in despair/embarrassment' pose grin

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 17:25:49

Top Tip - do not leave until the last minute to find somewhere suitable....

ladyClaire - oh you HAVE to adopt that pose. Its the law

OrangeLily Fri 21-Jun-13 17:25:59

This is the way I do it!

I am in awe of pull down a bit then crouch down lower than clothes. I had seen this before but it looks bloody difficult.

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 17:27:47

<checks post count to see if its viable to share story of personal woe and embarrassment>

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 21-Jun-13 17:28:25

LadyBryan, I'm glad it's not just me!

BoiledEggandToastSoldiers Fri 21-Jun-13 17:29:15

I'm with chickens on this, never have, and neither have DDs.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 21-Jun-13 17:29:36

I do it your way, but the trajectory of my wee is very inconsistent.

It was an absolute bugger when I was pg and trying to do wee samples. What with the enormous bum as well, it was a messy procedure

foreverondiet Fri 21-Jun-13 17:30:19

When DD was little I used to:

a) put down trousers/tights/knickers
b) pick her up into a squat like position with legs higher that body facing away from me - holding her as far away as possible

This worked very well until she was about 5. Then too heavy.

In a tent I recommend travel johns they are amazing - always take camping - usually take a pampers bed mat to stand on though in case of any leakage. Take trousers off - stand on bed mat, hold travel john on tight etc.

K8Middleton Fri 21-Jun-13 17:33:17

A she-wee for a birthday present? I think that's one of the most depressing things I've ever read on here.

Her you are, pet, a portable pisser

If caught short outside, I wee standing up - trousers down to knee height, one hand out in front against a handy-dandy tree, other hand yanking knickers to one side. Lean forward as far as possible keeping legs close together, wee comes out pretty much like a man's, missing toes most of the time.

By 'outside', of course I do actually mean 'out in the country', not in Morrisons car park.

toldmywrath Mexico Fri 21-Jun-13 17:39:50

Whereas I thought it a brilliant idea for a birthday present!

Tanith Fri 21-Jun-13 17:40:09

Some of us don't <sniffs primly>

LadyBryan Fri 21-Jun-13 17:41:28

I was on a ramble from uni once. No loos and open scrub. I was absolutely bursting for a wee. Seriously never needed a wee as bad in my life.

So finally about 3 hours after deciding I needed a wee (felt like 24) we came upon some bushes, so I dived behind. I squatted down to test the water (badoom tish) as to whether I could be seen.

My bladder clearly thought I was squatting to release and I just started weeing and couldn't stop blush so I just squatted there, weeing forever through my trousers.

Woeful

Dorris83 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:50:27

chicken, tanith et al... I would have been in your crew, until I got pregnant...
It's torture to desperately need a wee, but be physically unable to rush to get to the loo!

Dorris83 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:51:48

(on dog walks in the countryside btw, not randomly in a built up area or anything!!)

Dorris83 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:55:00

Oh lady Byron the shame!!! I've been there, when I was a kid I didn't get physically on the loo in time and weed a big puddle onto the floor. Mortifying.

DownyEmerald Fri 21-Jun-13 17:57:01

Apparently when I was four or so I was the only girl at my childminders and I learnt to wee standing up.

Unfortunately it is a skill I have lost. I have tight hamstrings so am not very good at squatting which doesn't help.

Foxglove/dock leaves are a good substitue for loo roll.

HaveTeaWillSurvive Fri 21-Jun-13 18:03:53

Just googled shewee - there's even special knickers!

DownyEmerald Fri 21-Jun-13 19:45:11

oppslateagain
By 'outside', of course I do actually mean 'out in the country', not in Morrisons car park.

PMSL grin

Jan49 Fri 21-Jun-13 20:08:21

I just hold on no matter how desperate I am. I think I'd always hold on unless I knew for sure I wasn't going to be able to use an actual loo in the next few hours. I'd probably wet myself rather than actually attempt to wee somewhere outdoors.

I haven't got a dd, but the only time I can remember my ds being desperate and in the countryside he was extremely reluctant to go behind a tree and just held on til we reached a toilet.

ijustwant8hours Fri 21-Jun-13 20:14:25

The first time dd had to wee outside she tried to copy her brother - that did not go well.

The second time, she did squat, but peed all over her trousers and stung her bum on something.

I fear that I am not a good wee coach....

PeazlyPops Fri 21-Jun-13 20:21:38

OP your last sentence gave me the shivers.

sydlexic Fri 21-Jun-13 20:22:00

I haven't either. DS was desperate once, I told him to go behind a bush, he said "what do you think I am, an animal."

Stoneinwelly Fri 21-Jun-13 20:22:30

As I have a bladder weaker than Charles & Nigellas' marriage and am off to Glastonbury, hurrah, it's either a sheewee or a catheter. Are there DIY surgical kits available?

5Foot5 Fri 21-Jun-13 20:51:56

Just googled shewee - there's even special knickers!

Oh god yes! They are even approved by NATO. Who'd have thought it!

Mind you I can't wear the same knickers for a week, nor do I want to buy a pair for every day I am away. Some days, most of them probably, I will be able to last between facilities.

drivingmisspotty Fri 21-Jun-13 20:55:07

Agree with whois. Pull clothes down to knees then squat as far as you can. Ie your thighs meet your calves and you can kind of sit on your ankles/heels. Most relaxing way only discovered it when I was travelling in Asia.

trinity0097 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:16:28

I have only weed outside a couple of times when a child/teen, I found the best situation was to remove all my clothes from my lower half and use the toilet paper that my mum always carried in her handbag for when she is caught short!

As an adult I plan my drinking to coincide with what I am doing, so if I know I will be away from a toilet I don't drink before hand to avoiding needing to wee!

Jenny70 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:26:10

My SIL swears by the sitting on log, with bottom over back edge - wee goes onto log and feet well protected by log etc. Haven't tried it myself.

storynanny Fri 21-Jun-13 21:26:45

Try a whiz freedom, better than a shee wee, doesn't leak , comes with its own snazzy bag .

ijustwant8hours Fri 21-Jun-13 21:45:45

A tip from an adventurer, camp on mountain type was to pee on a high absorbancy nappy... Don't even have to leave the warmth of your sleeping bag....

Seriously, just get a shewee. I use them a lot, have portable Johns too for emergencies but the shewee is really good. You just hold it against you (tightly, it does leak if you don't hold it tight enough and you go full flow) and then pee. When finished you shake it, maybe rinse it and shake again and then put into it's carry case which either you buy seperately or buy one with the travel case and extension!

Waswondering Fri 21-Jun-13 21:58:58

(Do I want to add to this thread?!)

So .... If camping this summer, any experience of the Peebol, as advertised on the she wee website .... It contains 1l, but I seriously don't know what it's capacity might need to be ....

Um. Anyone?

marriedinwhiteagain Fri 21-Jun-13 22:00:33

Anyone got any tips for french holes in the ground? What do you do if you need a poo.

The dc did al fresco wees for years - dd knew every putney drain at one stage - she was scared of toilets until she was 4!!

Mine always seem to splash and go everywhere - liking the sound of a she wee - where do you get them?

MooseBeTimeForSpring Fri 21-Jun-13 22:06:25

Waswondering: they are the same as the johns, work fine for camping, DP and I used them on camp, mine lasted a few nights at least (for last thing at night and during the night pees!) and I used one in the car when we got stuck a mile from our house in traffic and snow earlier this year hmm

You can use that brand without shewees, not sure about the peebol brand though.

Though as mentioned by somebody earlier, nappies work as well. Apparently you can get hold of the crystals that are in the travel john's for much much cheaper and then pee in bags but the ones I've found are the flower arranging ones and take a while to absorb the liquid so I'm not sure confused

NorbertDentressangle Fri 21-Jun-13 22:17:27

PMSL at the 'Shit Box' on Moose's link.

Rules out any confusion as to what it's for I guess!

FreshLeticia Fri 21-Jun-13 22:33:17

Hereyou are, pet, a portable pisser lol at that one.
Also oopslateagain I am most impressed. My DD1 can wee standing up. I can't as my ancient pipes flow gently rather than gush, so dribbling down thighs is inevitable.
I have weed all over Wales behind gates and hedges, tbh, it's much cleaner than most public loos. Trousers and pants only need to come down to just below bottom, squat and wee forwards between feet. easy peasy and I'm old and arthritic. Pulling them down to knees or further means they are in danger of being weed on.

DD aged about 4 got caught short in the car once and I pulled over in a tiny country lane. She refused to wee anywhere near the road as she might be seen, so we had to walk partway into this field FULL of stinging nettles. I had to hold her up in a sort of crouched position, with her back against my chest and my hands under her knees IYSWIM so her bum would clear the nettles. But halfway through her loooooooong wee, she started slipping down. It was a race between her bladder and my shaking arms to see what would give out first. Her bladder won by a fraction; if she'd taken a second longer, her arse would have been toast.

thegreylady Fri 21-Jun-13 22:51:23

I bought a she wee and recommend it. I keep it in the car and have used it in the country on walks but mainly in car. Park in secluded spot, sit on very edge of seat back to road and rug over lap. Pull trousers/pants down. Position she wee and hold with one hand. Pull clothes forward and pee. Sorted :-)

ThoughtsPlease Fri 21-Jun-13 22:58:54

Thanks for the thread, looking for tips for the weekend's training seeing as I seem to have failed my DDs so far in the al fresco weeing department.

On a different note at least last year and this year they both passed their Yr1 phonics test.

Although I suspect a few people will be along shortly to inform me that the test means nothing and their energies should have been focused on learning how to wee outside.

BreconBeBuggered Italy Sat 22-Jun-13 00:07:35

1. Keep tissues about your person at all times.
2. Forget tights and trousers. They complicate things way too much.
3. Be prepared to brazen it out if you're caught midstream. If you follow step 2 above, you can simply drop your skirt hem, to minimal embarrassment for either party.
4. Nettles get everywhere. Avoid.

Hobbknobb Sat 22-Jun-13 00:41:42

I find grabbing hold of a tree/fence with both hands and leaning back as far as possible I'd easiest. No splash back on shoes then.

OhMerGerd Sat 22-Jun-13 01:53:00

Loving this thread. We wildcamp in Europe, so sometimes we have the car but no facilities for miles. I mention this to qualify the number and bizarre methods I am about to share in case you think we just rock up and piddle in public as some sort of kinky hobby.
1. In secluded off road ramble situations with plenty of cover - as OP ( excellent instructions btw).
2. In vehicle, on major road and usually with other cars parked lay by in fron or behind blush - open near side front and rear passenger doors to provide little cubicle effect. Sit in front passenger seat with legs dangling out of vehicle. Pull down any garments to knees. Lower bottom so sitting on sill with legs splayed to steady oneself and avoid stream. Hold garments to front to avoid any sudden gush or wind directing stream onto clothes. Piddle freely. Shake. Do not under any circumstance use paper or wipes and throw in the hedge that is disgusting!
3. On the side of a hill/ mountain/ grassy slope no cover and people every where shock . Sit on grass. Check for ants, bugs and spikey plants. Wriggle surrepticiously to lower garments. Yes, bare botty now in contact with grass. Wee slowly to avoid a flood and to allow soil to absorb. Have news paper handy to cover lap and disguise lowered garments by feigning a pitstop to read and relax while taking in the view should other folk ramble by. You're fooling no one but at least you're not smiling and saying good morning to entire families as you relieve yourself with arse on display.
4. In forest or dense wood. Lean back against tree. Legs splayed. Garments scrunched to side or pulled outwards and release the flow.
5. If you near sea or river and desperado with no cover etc ... Wade in to upper knees as if paddling with clothes trousers on as normal( u can gather skirt up to avoid it getting too wet but this is a pants on and possibly through trousers too methid. piddle slowly to avoid a huge spread on garments, and then swish around to 'rinse' . Walk out as if bottom wet from the paddle and get back to where u can change ASAP before you start to attract flies and animals looking for a mate.
All methods tried and tested. Method 5 really is a last ditch end of the day scenario.

livingdownunder Sat 22-Jun-13 04:18:30

Jenny I'm with your sister.
I refuse to wee outside without hanging backside over a log. You eliminate any issues of worrying about where it's going to go.
More advanced individuals can use rock. smile

paperclips Sat 22-Jun-13 08:02:20

Fond memories of Asian squat toilets, especially wearing those baggy fisherman trousers all the backpackers buy in Thailand, that tie at the top. You had hold of an armful of fabric, and always had to double triple check that the long ties were not dangling in your wee, or worse, other people's. Not good after drinking several strong beers.

digerd Sat 22-Jun-13 16:11:50

My mind is boggling as to how those who can wee standing up manage to contort their pelvis into a position where the wee can spout like a hose pipe? I used to be able to do a back bend and walk in to grab my ankles, suppose that would workgrin.
And the squat until bare bum is touching the grass? We did it with bum backwards and body leaning forwards in a crouch.

digerd Sat 22-Jun-13 16:17:25

OmerGerd grin. Excellent instructions on survival skills in the wilds, and very entertaining.grin

Splashsplosh Sat 22-Jun-13 16:24:42

Forget squatting or aiming at all - all you do is make sure you have a plastic disposable pint cup or two in the car/when out walking. Find a sheltered area, pull down trousers a little (if covered by coat then you don't even have to risk bare arse being seen), hold cup right 'under' and proceed. NB - make sure you either don't have more than a pint to pee or strong pelvic floor control. Then gingerly pull cup out and dispose of responsibly.

Did not come up with this strategy when young and shameless and the line for the portaloo was too long at a gig.

Splashsplosh Sat 22-Jun-13 16:26:56

Just realised my username does me absolutely no favours here blush

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