Not to want my 11 year old DD wearing Miss Sexy trousers for school?

(55 Posts)
CambridgeBlue Fri 21-Jun-13 13:08:36

Trying to get ahead with uniform buying for next term has bitten me on the bum because DD doesn't like the trousers she's been wearing any more and wants some 'Miss Sexy' ones instead. Apparently (and I do take this with a pinch of salt) hardly anyone wears 'those baggy ones' (ie normal bootcut black trousers) any more.

Apart from my intense dislike of the name of this brand, I also think they're completely impractical for school - DD is very slim so she'd look OK in them but I know from wearing skinny trousers/jeans myself that they're not that easy to do stuff in and that involuntarily showing off your underwear is often involved.

I'm torn because I remember how I hated my Mum not letting me wear a split skirt when everyone else did but everything in me says buying these stupid trousers for DD sends all sorts of wrong messages - that she has to follow the crowd, that what you look like is important at school (I'm fairly relaxed about what she wears outside of school) and that she can persuade me to do something just by using the line 'everyone else is/has...'.

Have to say I am sick of one battle after another about what other kids are doing just because their parents don't seem to give a toss half the time be as strict as I am.

Remotecontrolduck Fri 21-Jun-13 13:10:38

Grim name, but if they're not hideously tight (i don't know what they look like), and look fairly decent I'd buy them. Better than a micro mini skirt!

50BalesOfHay Fri 21-Jun-13 13:31:18

I felt just like you but gave in. We've had bigger battles and I just wasnt prepared to expend emotional energy on this one. As long as the school allows them I think at this age you have to decide what you'll go to the wire about

ilovechips Fri 21-Jun-13 13:35:38

Same here - I gave in and bought them. DD was nagging for ages saying the usual "everyone has them" line, and to be fair to her for once she seems to be right, I see most of the girls in them now.

MalcolmTuckersMum Fri 21-Jun-13 13:36:24

Try a bit of reverse psychology. Tell your DD she absolutely MUST have those trousers, they're all the rage (be sure to use outdated cringey terminology here - channel your teenage years!), she'll look just like everyone else which is very very important etc etc. It might not work, but since you've as good as lost anyway you might as well have some fun with it!

Yanbu. I've seen a lot of girls wearing those trousers, some have appeared very tight to. I cannot believe schools are allowing them to be honest. They don't look practical or smart. And certainly not something kids that age should be wearing.

Gossipmonster Fri 21-Jun-13 13:41:06

My DD (yr 9) wears them - my issue is that they fall apart within a few weeks.

Trousers are trousers to me, I imagine for DC at school this in not the case, and she is the one who has to go there every day feeling uncomfortable in what she is wearing. I wouldn't go out feeling uncomfortable in what I was wearing, so I wouldn't send my child out that way either. If she wants the skinnies like her friends let her have them.

If you are worried about her succumbing to peer pressure then you need to address that - help her draw lines of what is harmlessly fitting in with the crowd (which we all do to an extent - particularly with fashion items!) and where this crosses into dangerous boarders - such as smoking/drinking/fucking up at school, etc.

dilanddan Fri 21-Jun-13 14:41:52

Imo, they're just trousers, atleast she's not asking to wear a belt mini skirt.

It used to be exactly the same at my schools and you were picked on if you didn't try to look reasonably up to date with the trends sad

BeKindToYourKnees Fri 21-Jun-13 14:43:59

I bought them for my 13 year old daughter, but cut the label out smile

HeySoulSister Fri 21-Jun-13 14:46:49

Op I just read your op to my dd's.... 19 and 17

We had the exact same arguments back when they were young! We are all giggling about it now together! We clearly remember the angst

Honestly, my girls turned out ok ... Let her have what everyone else is wearing.... I'm being thanked for it right now grin

LilacPeony Fri 21-Jun-13 14:49:02

Could you say "That's fine. I'm going to get some for myself too and i will pick you up from the school gate from now on so i can show off my new trendy trousers to your friends!" wink

Madlizzy Fri 21-Jun-13 14:54:57

Baggy bootcut school trousers are now completely out and unfashionable. I'd agree with the pick your battles on this. As long as she's not showing her backside and they're not spray on tight, let her have them. I suffered horribly from my mum not listening to me at all with regard to uniform.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland Fri 21-Jun-13 14:59:08

Mine had them as they're slim and the baggy ones were dreadful. Some Miss Sexy styles are better than others. Like another poster, I also cut the label off. They are a pain to iron, though.

I am not known for encouraging extreme fashions, but have bad memories of having to wear really unfashionable clothes and vowed never to do that to my own children.

If the school really object, they'll let you know.

mrsjay Fri 21-Jun-13 14:59:25

I cant remember where you buy those trousers but they are just like skinny jeans but tight trousers id let her get them dd still likes the comfy ones but she will be a senior in August and i can imagine she will want different trousers for school she has already showed me a belt teeny tiny skirt she likes sigh as long as her backside isn't on show she can wear what she likes

Madlizzy Fri 21-Jun-13 15:03:23

With the skirts, my DD and her friends all wear shorts underneath them.

olidusUrsus Fri 21-Jun-13 15:04:22

Bootcut trousers are hideous. I've never flashed my undies in skinnies. My mum wouldn't let me have anything other than 'standard' (and therefore bootcut) school trousers so I stuck to skirts instead oh what a rebel(!)

mrsjay Fri 21-Jun-13 15:04:25

I think dd will wear thick black tights with it as she doesn't want to the skank line to be seen her words not mine

thebody Fri 21-Jun-13 15:05:18

Oh let her. Seriously bigger battles ahead that you need to win.

olidusUrsus Fri 21-Jun-13 15:05:53

Oh my God just Googled and some of the Miss Sexy stuff is hideous!! Giant belt buckles the size of my face glued onto them! That's never what I wanted by skinny school trousers btw, I'd look for skinny styles in a brand without the cruddy name and weird accessories

Certainly all our local schools have a total ban on Miss Sexy Trousers. If girls turn up wearing them then they are sent home until replacements are purchased. Check your school uniform policy carefully. Other than that, it's entirely up to you. I don't have a massive problem with them as trousers, don't like the name, but frankly there are bigger things to worry about as your children get older.

mrsjay Fri 21-Jun-13 15:08:05

I saw a girl walk past my window with school shirt and those disco pants on shock so the miss sexy would look convetional grin

comingintomyown Fri 21-Jun-13 15:12:15

Been there and gave in quickly on the pick your battles basis

School is saying they are banned next year and uniform has to be from a certain supplier

Be interesting to see if it works, I support the idea but not paying to replace everything until I see they are going to enforce it

Also agree they are so poorly made and fall apart quickly

cantdoalgebra Fri 21-Jun-13 15:13:55

There are bigger things to worry about later on down the line, and buying Miss Sexy stuff is the start of of many of them.

MadBusLady Fri 21-Jun-13 15:20:54

I googled these curiously wondering if they had cut-out bums or something. Are they really that bad? Apart from the rather tacky fastenings. I have something very similar from Mint Velvet.

Madlizzy Fri 21-Jun-13 15:24:51

I've seen far worse than these trousers.

LastTangoInDevonshire Fri 21-Jun-13 15:56:56

Buy them and cut the label out. Give them to her to try on. If she refuses or says they are 'crap' , show her the label..........then insist she wears ordinary trousers.

Startail Fri 21-Jun-13 16:05:51

DDs school are on the warpath about skirt length, so the pupils have decided to wear stupidly tight trousers and leggings instead.

School are now muttering about only Trutex trousers.

That is unenforceable, you can't ask to look down a girls' waist bands and parents like me, who's DDs wear smart Next and M&S trousers, are not going to spend money on new ones.

GetOnYourDancingShoes Fri 21-Jun-13 16:08:12

DD wears them but I always remove the labels.

PurpleBlossom Fri 21-Jun-13 16:10:32

They don't look to bad to me OP (never heard of them before!) I'd let her wear them as long as the school were ok with it.

Found a good picture of 'Miss Sexy' vs conventional trousers here

Floggingmolly Fri 21-Jun-13 16:15:56

Baggy boot cut school trousers are now completely out and unfashionable
Maybe I'm just out of the loop as my dd's school insist on uniform being, you know, uniform; bought from a particular shop and all the same range so every item is identical,
but why is school uniform supposed to be fashionable???

Startail Fri 21-Jun-13 16:17:58

I agree its a horrible name. With buttons, zips and logo showing they are certainly not appropriate. With the DDs untucked Summer polo shirts, many of the designs are better than the leggings and skinny jeans I see outside school.

notso Fri 21-Jun-13 16:20:35

DD pestered the back off me for these I refused as they are so crappily made, the material is awful. The compromise was some skinny fitting school trousers from Next which have caused endless trouble from school as they are apparently jeans!

School is in special measures now and the new head is cracking down on uniform. Only tailored type trousers will be allowed from September.

Madlizzy Fri 21-Jun-13 16:23:21

In my kids' school, it's enough cost to get the blazer, jumper, pe polo, pe sweatshirt from the one shop. The school has a high incidence of children from poorer families who have to prioritise funds and our local council doesn't provide school uniform grants. Also, I don't think a small bit of individuality does any harm.

I agree flogging I'm
No prude but I cannot believe what I see young girls wearing to school these days. I know I'm older but not that old. Some are as tight as leggings how they breath or are comfy I don't know.

plainjaney Fri 21-Jun-13 16:24:33

Matalan actually do a stretch skinny bootcut trouser thats really really robust. They look exactly like the Miss Sexy ones but are only £12 and last.

My DD is 15 and a size 8 and these fit her perfectly. Wouldn't dream of sending her into school in baggy ones because its not worth the ridicule. I was 15 once, it's difficult enough without battles over a cheap pair of trousers.

CambridgeBlue Fri 21-Jun-13 16:24:46

Thanks all, some really interesting (and funny!) replies. I do agree about there being bigger battles ahead so am going to try and compromise. I am sure that other stores will sell a similar style of trousers that fit in with DD's desire for something less 'baggy' without being called something ridiculous and inappropriate so I'll try and track something down that will keep us both happy.

I do love this place for giving me a sense of perspective smile

CambridgeBlue Fri 21-Jun-13 16:26:34

X-posted plainjaney - Matalan was going to be my first port of call because they also sell polo shirts that tick all of DD's boxes hmm.

Startail Fri 21-Jun-13 16:28:02

Flogging, if your DDs go to a private or a grammar school, you can just about get away with a fixed uniform.

Even then I know private school girls who's mum's substitute £20 blouses with cheap ones.

A state school in a very mixed area is treading on very thin ice if it starts stipulating certain items when far cheaper and perfectly adequate alternatives are already owned.

Presenting parents who's daughters already own clothes in tbe spirit of the rules with an unnecessary
£18 x no.of DDs x spare pairs bill
will not end well.

Floggingmolly Fri 21-Jun-13 16:31:42

No, Startail, it's a London comprehensive (although it is an ex grammar). And yes, the uniform is eye wateringly expensive. Seems to be fairly universally adhered to, though.

plainjaney Fri 21-Jun-13 16:32:23

Cambridge my DD is a funny size, exceptionally tall and very skinny. She's a size 6 everywhere else but Matalan trousers seem to size up quite small. If you struggle in there then New Look do the same style in their teens range just dont buy their school shirts - cheap yes, but godawful to iron.

Startail Fri 21-Jun-13 16:33:01

We already have expensive logo'd games and summer polo shirts, expensive odd coloured skirts and posh jumpers.

Adding trousers to the list would, I think be, the straw that broke the camel's back.

The girls would say Fuck off and many Mothers would too.

Startail Fri 21-Jun-13 16:35:49

We are a ordinary rural comp. in a grammar school area (not quite a secondary modern because we are a long way out).

We just doesn't do airs and graces, they just sit baddly.

piprabbit Fri 21-Jun-13 16:36:25

Offer her a compromise.

She can have Miss Sexy trousers on condition that she gets ones with a bit of growing room.


Floggingmolly Fri 21-Jun-13 16:41:22

I don't do airs and graces either, Startail grin
I think the uniform is a hangover from it's glory days as a grammar, and trousers are most definitely not allowed.
They'd still have straw boaters if they thought they'd get away with it

Floggingmolly Fri 21-Jun-13 16:42:02

Oh, it's an all girls school, in case the no trousers rule sounded odd!

xylem8 Fri 21-Jun-13 16:43:02

Just googled them
They are not school trousers.

Startail Fri 21-Jun-13 16:43:51

We also have a fair few of Ofsteds hidden rural poor.

For them it's good the middle class DCs rebel and look slightly scruffy.

Like wise school don't worry about old style games kit or everyone wearing summer uniform. So far they have stepped carefully. I hope they continue to do so.

AmbrosiaCreamedMice Fri 21-Jun-13 16:50:53

@ plainjaney If you get a minute, would you mind linking to the Matalan trousers? Is it the Bengaline ones? Ta.

KurriKurri Fri 21-Jun-13 17:06:54

Go out to buy them for her, and when you get to the shop say to her 'actually they are really nice, I think I will get a pair for myself too' she may go off them. grin

hackmum Fri 21-Jun-13 17:10:05

I eventually gave into this particular request from DD - after several months of "please can I have Miss Sexy trousers? Everyone else has them" over and over again. Shortly after the school banned them.

Your DD's school will also ban them. Trust me.

plainjaney Fri 21-Jun-13 17:24:02

@Ambrosia, I did have a look and I can't actually see the ones DD had online. I only bought them a few weeks ago so they should be instore. I'll go and have a look at the label in hers....

plainjaney Fri 21-Jun-13 17:29:35

OK, have had a look at DD's and hers have side pockets, they are possibly Bengaline but for some reason they look a lot baggier on the website than they are in real life.
They are quite tight to the knee then flare slightly to the ankle in the bootcut. The rear view is probably a closer representation of the fit in this picture than the front view.

Happymum22 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:36:51

Agree with others, while they may look horrendous or not be the most decent, at that age -as much as you wish it didn't- self-esteem and confidence comes from that sort of thing. Its not going to do any harm. Pick your battles in life.
Agree, search for something similar and see if she will compromise- otherwise Miss Sexy isn't going to do much damage. The name makes me sad though in the same way as when I saw super padded, underwired bras for 8 year olds.
At least it isn't a super short skirt she is wanting.

AmbrosiaCreamedMice Fri 21-Jun-13 17:37:37

@plainjaney Thanks so much! They're perfect. Sorry OP, buy these instead!

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