AIBU to think anyone calling a woman a slut is very disgusting?

(106 Posts)

It's just disgusting. Whether a man is calling a woman a slut, or another woman is - I think it's completely degrading and nasty.

I understand some women can be homewreckers and she may be a bitch, or a cow but am I the only one who thinks that calling someone a slut is just beyond disgusting?

You don't know what a woman has gone through. Perhaps she's a little bit flirty or has been with more men than most women, but you don't know why she feels that way. Even if she has 'stolen' someone away from a man, it shows her state of mind (messed up and not able to get her own man) so I honestly feel sorry for those types.

So AIBU to find calling someone a slut completely disgusting?

<waits to be told IABU and it's OK if I am>

gordyslovesheep Thu 20-Jun-13 20:41:32

YANBU I hate the labels given to women who dare to be sexually active without shame

CruCru Thu 20-Jun-13 20:41:50

Thing is, I think slut is badly misused. It used to mean a woman who didn't clean her house.

I would be put out if someone called me one though.

FutTheShuckUp Thu 20-Jun-13 20:44:17

No its disgusting. And its vitriol reserved purely for women, never men who play a 50/50 part in having sex. Unless these women are having slutty sex alone...

Mintyy Thu 20-Jun-13 20:45:03

Yanbu.

MarmaladeTwatkins Thu 20-Jun-13 20:45:14

YANBU

I hate hearing women call other women sluts. Bad form.

DramaAlpaca Thu 20-Jun-13 20:45:44

YANBU

crumblepie Thu 20-Jun-13 20:46:06

can think of worse thing to be called , dont think its that bad a word .

thequeenmary Thu 20-Jun-13 20:46:26

YANBU. Tbh, people who use that kind of language are often a bit tacky themselves. I also don't see the logic in accusing someone of 'stealing' someone. The last time I checked you can't just walk off with a man in your handbag...

HollyBerryBush Thu 20-Jun-13 20:47:04

Unless you use it like do "dirty slut" or slattern about dirty housekeepers grin

It's what you are stating someone is than the word itself. After all words are just letters put together, but it's what you are throwing at someone. If you call someone an asshole you are just insulting them for doing something horrible at the time; I don't particularly like name calling anyway obviously, but at least this is more to do with a specific nasty thing you have done. Calling someone a slut seems very direct and 'you are like a whore' ish.

burberryqueen Thu 20-Jun-13 20:48:01

hehe my mother used to call me a slut all the time but in the sense that crucru mentioned.
yanbu nasty names for sexually active women piss me right off, keep trying to explain it to my teenage son, hope some of my ranting sinks in.

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Thu 20-Jun-13 20:48:23

Erm, I kinda lost sympathy with you at 'homewrecker' and 'bitch'. Not totally sure how you're drawing the line here (and 'homewrecker' particularly pisses me off as it plays into that annoying idea that happily married men are dragged kicking and screaming from their loving wives by evil harridans. Yeah, right).

YANBU to think calling someone a slut is disgusting.

YABU to justify it in such a woman-hating way.

Honestly. 'Cant get a man'? confused

'Stolen' a man.

Bollocks.

SoleSource Thu 20-Jun-13 20:48:39

I'm slut as my house needs a good clean. also like it during sex sometimes

FlatsInDagenham Thu 20-Jun-13 20:49:43

Yanbu. I'm a secondary teacher and it really botgers me how easily it slips from the mouths of teenage girls about other teenage girls.

One year 10 girl even said it about Nigella Lawson today - we were discussing the recent news stories about her marriage - this gitl said "Who is she? Is she that slut cook?"

I had words.

Icelollycraving Thu 20-Jun-13 20:51:21

I don't think being a home wrecker can be laid at the womans door. A man can't be stolen,they aren't a possession,I'm assuming the man has a choice hmm

I very nearly called someone it today and chose slattern instead because I thought she might not get the two meanings. She was talking about not wearing heels to do housework like her neighbour.

I object far more to 'home wrecker' as it happens.

Xales Thu 20-Jun-13 20:52:21

What MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik says and much better than I was managing.

BridgetBidet Thu 20-Jun-13 20:53:03

It was much better when slut just meant you couldn't really be arsed with cleaning. I liked that. It made me think of lots of women sitting round eating biscuits and reading magazines instead of doing the housework.

Icelollycraving Thu 20-Jun-13 20:53:22

X post with malenky

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Thu 20-Jun-13 20:53:57

Me and my DH are massive sluts, in the messy house sense

IneedAyoniNickname Thu 20-Jun-13 20:55:53

Flats we were talking about what happened to Nigella the other day, and one of the women in the group said, "yea well she deserves it, she's a slut anyway, and her cooking show is shit, so who cares" I was horrified! Having a crap show (never seen it so not sure if it is or not) doesn't mean you deserve your husband's hands round your throat!

It is an awful word. I also take offence to calling anyone 'bitch' and 'cow' ...

tootdelafruit Thu 20-Jun-13 20:58:30

I aso have an issue with 'bitch' and 'cow'- unless you use those words to describe men who behave in a similar way?

I think bitch is just as bad as slut, to be honest. It is so animal sounding, like a "nasty", troublemaking woman has none of the complexities of a "nice", cooperative woman. Just label her actions as bitching and everyone knows what you're talking about, this specifically female, non-approved, gender specific action. There is no equivalent for men- I don't wonder why!

tootdelafruit Thu 20-Jun-13 20:59:28

xposting.

cross post tootdelafruit

Oxen Thu 20-Jun-13 21:01:33

sticks n stones and all that

I've used it before, I've had it used against me.

Doesn't mean I am one, and it certainly doesn't affect how I feel.

<shrugs>

SoniaGluck Thu 20-Jun-13 21:02:07

"yea well she deserves it, she's a slut anyway, and her cooking show is shit, so who cares"

shock. My God. I have no words.

tootdelafruit Thu 20-Jun-13 21:07:27

I have noticed a trend over the past few years with younger people of calling someone a slut- but not to mean "you sleep with lots of people" but just as a really nasty insult. sort of in the same way they would use cunt. it's used for the effect rather than to imply you are anything. does that make sense?

WMittens Thu 20-Jun-13 21:19:42

"And its vitriol reserved purely for women,"

I'm probably on my own but I don't see it that way - I sometimes refer to a promiscuous man as a slut or a slag.

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 21:22:34

If I want to offend a woman, show my loathing for her, judge her, despise her, I will call her a slut, or a skank.

It's an offense I don't take lightly, it's mean, it's low, it's horrid.

But I can think of one person in my life who'd I'd happily refer to as such. It's not big or clever though, and as with many vile insults, should be absolutely meant if used, I'd never use it flippantly... and it's not a word I'd use in connection with someone who simply enjoys sex.

But bitch that's different for me. Bitch can be good. Bitch can be almost jovial. Bitch can be bad too. I was a 'bitch' yesterday, in all it's meanings, and it felt GOOD, and had someone said I'd been one, I'd have said "Hell yeah!".

Nasty put downs are never 'nice'. I do agree that vile insults are too freely spread about the place. I try to reserve the worst for when I really REALLY mean them, which fortunately isn't all that often.

shufflehopstep Thu 20-Jun-13 21:22:55

I remember my mum calling me a slut because I hadn't cleaned my bedroom when I was about 14 or 15 and I was horrified because I had only ever heard it used about women who slept around!

I do think it's bad that there are more derogatory words about women than there are about men and I also dislike the fact that a lot of them are to do with sexual promiscuity (why can't a single woman sleep around? It's perfectly reasonable to me providing she's responsible and is doing it of her own free will), but I don't particularly have a problem with calling people names, generally. It's part of language and you're always going to meet people you don't like and who piss you off and it's quite a good way to let off steam ... much better than physically attacking someone.

Male words: I think "bastard" is a pretty reasonable alternative to "bitch". I tend to use them in the same context. Other words are "knobhead", "dickhead", "wanker", "prick" (seems to be a bit of a theme running through a lot of these), "shit" (as in "he's a real xxxx"), "arsehole" (just getting carried away now and enjoying writing lots of swear words). grin Of course you've also got "cunt" and "twat" which somehow are much worse names to call people. I don't really get why that is (although I have used both of these on more than one occasion and found it very satisfying).

Not able to get her own man? Umm that phrase isn't so amazing either.

MorrisZapp Thu 20-Jun-13 21:26:11

I hate all these phrases, including homewrecker. They are inherently sexist because no equivalent exists to describe men who do the same thing.

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 20-Jun-13 21:26:51

I don't like it and I wouldn't do it. To me its the same as people who refer to their daughters as little bitches ( and yes I've had this said to me about a under 2 this week) but wouldn't dream of calling their son any thing negative.

DownstairsMixUp Thu 20-Jun-13 21:27:54

tootdelafruit Agree, def noticed a trend with it. I have the (if you see it as this) misfortune of having some cousins/OH's younger cousins on FB and they use the term slut a lot to insult people they don't like. Same with whore. Though I've noticed they say "man whore" or "man slut" if saying it about a guy. I don't like the term either way!

thebody Thu 20-Jun-13 21:30:41

My mum used to say me and dsis were slutty and skater key if our rooms were a mess. She's welsh if that is the reason?

Many words are nasty for men and women.

Don't see slut any worse than slag or knob.

Just silly really.

Ah yes, it used to be slag when I was young.

A promiscuous man might be called a player, no? But the connotations are very different from slut.

Malen What I meant was I can understand why someone might call someone those things. I wouldn't for the same reasons you have mentioned. It's not like someone puts a spell on someone - the other person chooses to go off with the other woman/man. It's in fact the cheater who is a homewrecker, if you see what I mean. I am just stating what many people think. I do feel sorry for anyone though who tries to get with someone who they know is married or in a relationship though as they should really set their sights higher so yes in that aspect they should get a man/woman for themselves, not someone else's.

I don't think you can be 'stolen' from someone, though. Stolen would give the impression that you are owned by someone and marriage isn't about owning someone.

I worded it wrong, sorry about that.

But yes any insulting words to describe someone is just rotten unless you are doing it in jest and know the person will take it as a joke.

I would call a man a cow and have done before actually smile He didn't take too kindly to it but he shouldn't be bitchy.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 21:37:20

Is there a list of acceptable insults for women who shag other women's DH's then? Maybe 'outside of marriage conjugal facilitator' or 'extra-marital intercourse enabler' or 'wedded tedium alleviator'.

Maybe we should ask the OW what she would prefer to be called, respectfully, of course.

oxen I know it doesn't mean you are one, but it's not really necessary is it?

valiumredhead Thu 20-Jun-13 21:39:00

I think bitch is much worse.

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Thu 20-Jun-13 21:39:39

Shit, that's totes my point, sig. My bad. When I came across like I objected to the OP coming across as judgy of other women (which she seems to understand alright), I must really have been meaning we should all respect cheaters. hmm

Thank goodness you were there to correct me, eh?

(Though I will admit 'outside of marriage conjugal facilitator' is pretty funny)

fedupofnamechanging Thu 20-Jun-13 21:41:36

I would use 'slut' to describe someone who shags indiscriminately - nothing wrong in sleeping with lots of people, but plenty wrong in not being choosy. By not being choosy, I mean women who sleep with other people's husbands etc. It might be a horrible word, but if the cap fits...

I think 'homewrecker' is more offensive - it implies that the man's cheating is all the woman's fault, like he had nothing to do with it!

I'd be more inclined to use 'skank' for someone who is dirty - be that in terms of physical hygiene or moral values.

SoniaGluck Thu 20-Jun-13 21:43:25

Sigmund Presumably the man has something to do with it. I mean it doesn't happen without his knowledge, does it?

Why reserve all the opprobrium for the woman involved?

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 21:45:08

'I must really have been meaning we should all respect cheaters'

How do we express our lack of respect and outright miffdness in a respectful non-judgy way then?

aldiwhore that was exactly what I was trying to put across yes.

like you I see bitch being quite jovial and silly, 'oh you were a bitch to Trish today' etc.

but we all take things differently.

I hate the c word but that's probably as I was brought up to hate the word and plus it reminds me of my very nasty ex.

I was just using that as an example I don't go about calling people a homewrecker.

I always thought calling someone a twat was jovial, too.

No set words that are ok or not ok it's just surely they are just horrible for doing it and the man or woman is even more so for cheating on their partner.

Besides most of the time people just call others 'sluts' willy nilly. It's especially annoying when teens just randomly assign the word.

fedupofnamechanging Thu 20-Jun-13 21:45:36

Meant to add that I have used 'skank' to describe both men and women - I think it's a gender neutral insult.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 21:47:40

'Why reserve all the opprobrium for the woman involved?'

Oh, we've already vented our judgiest judgments on THAT wanker. It was no holds barred there. No-one gave a shit what we called HIM. Sheesh.

SoniaGluck Thu 20-Jun-13 21:51:47

Oh, we've already vented our judgiest judgments on THAT wanker. It was no holds barred there. No-one gave a shit what we called HIM. Sheesh.

Sorry, what? I must have missed something, here. confused

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 21:52:45

Yes karmabeliever when I discovered a semi-friend's husband plays a game called 'pull the ugliest' on lad's nights out I wasn't particularly PC in my insults I used... skank, slut, grubby little **... I meant every single bloody one of them. When my 'actual' friend shagged a random bloke in the loos of a grotty pub (married friend) I used a few choice words to her face... none of them nice, most of them pretty horrible. That's why they're insults.

Bitch was too nice. Bitch CAN be used positively. Sometimes.

I judge sometimes. I try to only judge when I actually feel I have no choice. I hate being 'judgey' willy/fanny nilly/slappy.. but I reserve the right to have judgement, and sometimes, I need BAD WORDS.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 21:55:03

'Sorry, what? I must have missed something, here'

Sorry, 'he's' a theoretical bloke.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 21:55:43

Jovial? Well I've never connected either insulting someone or being insulted with being fucking jovial.
I'm afraid you're beginning to sound a bit unhinged OP. Obviously that's in an entirely freaking jovial way so, you know, no offence. ffs.

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Thu 20-Jun-13 21:56:23

Tut tut.

Blokes are very practical, Sig, it's women who're theoretical. And emotional.

Or wait, whut?

BegoniaBampot Thu 20-Jun-13 21:56:47

I don't like people to just casually refer to women as sluts because of their dress or if they have casual sex etc. But I would probably call a woman a slut and much worse if I found out she was having it off with my husband as I would obviously be upset. Think it depends.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 21:58:42

I wonder if a name change might be in the offing. I'm getting rather tired of Malcolm. Perhaps JovialCunt might do the trick. Yes, it's growing on me....... grin

Branleuse Thu 20-Jun-13 22:00:35

its supposed to be degrading and offensive and nasty. Thats what insults are.

HerrenaHarridan Thu 20-Jun-13 22:00:37

Whoops op! Your bad wording at the beginning has lost you this but I think I see what you were getting at.

Fwiw, I was a slut in my younger days, it was fucking brilliant! No shame here.

Harridan is a much better word though grin

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 20-Jun-13 22:01:10

Yanbu - it is degrading,but usually that is the exact point when people use the word. They never mean it to be anything other than that.

Men get called dickheads/wankers in the same contexts women get called bitches/cows. Men can "bitch" too.

Name calling is unpleasant but happens nonetheless.

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 22:03:08

Malcolm my brother would view being called a jovial cunt as a massive compliment. Reserving my judgement on his nature, he has a right not to be offended.

If I called someone a bitch and meant it in the way that is inoffensive to me, and they were massively insulted, I would apologise and not repeat the term again with that person. Likewise, if someone calls me a cunt and it deeply offends me, if they apologised I would forgive.

For me, that's the only way to actually get over the problem of offense and random letters and meaning. If you know something offends me, don't bloody do it, if you don't know, you will soon enough.

MorrisZapp Thu 20-Jun-13 22:04:26

Sigmund, what words do you use to describe men who shag other men's wives?

WorraLiberty Thu 20-Jun-13 22:04:57

Thing is, I think slut is badly misused. It used to mean a woman who didn't clean her house

Yes! I nearly died when my ex MIL declared that her Grandmother was 'such a slut' shock grin

Malcolm That's ok as long as you're only joking, I don't take offence. Between friends you can joke about whatever you like as long as you know you aren't going to upset eachother.

I bow to your new nn it sounds good.

Not that I like the c word, but it has a jovial tune to it :D

Oh, what about harlot? grin

I must confess in that context I used to be quite a bit of a slut.

I am a lot more house proud these days, though. smile

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:07:33

aldi - I think I would like your brother!

I am an unreconstructed slut. Housework is one of the worst dark arts in my opinion and I'm shit at it anyway. I'm happy to be called a slut in that context. In my younger days I was a slut in all manner of contexts. Again, happy to own it grin

tootdelafruit Thu 20-Jun-13 22:10:39

" I have the (if you see it as this) misfortune of having some cousins/OH's younger cousins on FB and they use the term slut a lot to insult people they don't like."

yes! this is what I had in my head when posting- I also have younger cousins and see it a lot on FB.

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 22:10:39

I'm a harlot when I want something.

I'm a harridan when I don't get it.

I'm probably spoilt, I do a mean tantrum.

But so does my DH... all in good humour of course. Playful.

In 15 years I don't think we've ever actually insulted each other and meant it... we've insulted each other unintentionally plenty of times, we apologise, and move on.

I'd rather be a whore in the kitchen than the bedroom. I'm an utter UTTER bastard if I lose at scrabble. I'm a bitch when I feel like it, and an utter knob occasionally too.

I think I was a complete cock once or twice too.

But if you don't know me, I'd question your wording...

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 22:10:42

'Blokes are very practical, Sig, it's women who're theoretical. And emotional.'

Are you going to emducate me MRD, 'cos I do love you pointing out my stoopid. And I know you do too grin

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Thu 20-Jun-13 22:11:09

It's true. smile

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 22:12:19

Malcolm please have him... in every sense of the word.

Do you like fishing? Do you dream of living on a boat that's like a shit caravan but goes up and down?

Please... you'd make him very happy grin

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:12:53

I don't like to lose at Scrabble either aldi grin

velvetspoon Thu 20-Jun-13 22:13:18

I find it upsetting how acceptable it is to use derogatory terms like this towards women based on their style of dress or apparent sexual activity. If anything it's getting worse rather than better, I see teenagers using these words against each other, and adults, on a daily basis.

There is still a massive double standard, when boys/men are called man whores, or whatever the nom du jour is, it's in a bit of an indulgent way.

Whereas when it's directed at women there's usually some vitriol, which I fail to see any justification for. So a woman wears revealing clothes? Doesn't make her more sexually available than anyone else. If a woman chooses to have regular casual sex (perhaps because of a lack of men worth having a relationship with), that harms no-one. I fail to see any need for name-calling in either situation.

Sheshelob Thu 20-Jun-13 22:13:19

"Whore" is my bug bear, particularly because I have female friends who think it is vey funny to call each other it.

It makes me want to eat my own fingers.

In terms of what to call people who engage in extra-marital interfacing, "Tart", pronounced in a West Country accent. Both sides of the gender divides. TaRt.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:14:02

I dream of having a man that can fish! DH paddles. In a slightly effeminate way! Real men fish so yeah, I'll take him.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:15:01

I agree about 'whore'. Nasty word with no possible redeeming qualities.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 22:15:24

'Sigmund, what words do you use to describe men who shag other men's wives?'

sluts

tarts

er....

harlots

shagnasties

not very nice.

Sheshelob Thu 20-Jun-13 22:15:34

Malcolm

Mine has a fishing rod.

Hands off!

<narrows eyes at Malcolm>

TaRt

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 22:16:48

Unless you shop at Aldi.

Of course.

I don't think I have ever called someone a whore... because I have more respect for those that would describe themselves as such.

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 22:18:35

'Sigmund, what words do you use to describe men who shag other men's wives?

Not Sigmund obviously, but usually, when I REALLY disapprove of someone's actions they're simply 'nasty'.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 22:28:47

I shouted 'cunt' at DH in Boots once. At the time it felt justified (he refused to buy me a tiny breakfast tray with toast rack and jam included), long story.

It's the only time I ever said it out loud (very loud). To me, cunt is the most offensive word. All other words are meh (pretty much).

And seriously, Aldi, if your significant other had a secret other significant other, you would simply say he was 'nasty'?

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:29:04

Oh come on sheshe - just let me have a little go? grin

Sheshelob Thu 20-Jun-13 22:35:57

No, Malcolm, you massive taRt.

<shields husband from Malcolm's advances as he is but a poor man who is held hostage by his "urges">

Find your own fisherman.

<strokes DH Birdseye beard, while eyeballing Malcolm>

HappyMummyOfOne Thu 20-Jun-13 22:44:05

Hate the C word and never use it. Slut or Tart i use for both men and women though if they have numerous partners.

Sheshelob Thu 20-Jun-13 22:48:28

I love cunt. Love it. I use it daily. Hourly, almost.

We had a great thread about the word cunt the other day, but then it all got a bit stalkery and it died. Shame.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:51:29

grin @ sheshe. I like cunt too. It covers almost every possible combination of requirements for a word. Obviously one should not use it in conversation with the Vicar or potential employer but otherwise - what's not to love about it?

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 22:59:54

Cunt is a primitive word. It means toe in Gaelic.

thequeenmary Thu 20-Jun-13 23:04:04

I enjoy using 'bastard' as a unisex insult, and as an adjective. I also frequently call men 'tarts' although not always in a sexual context.

As for the c word, who can forget the immortal line - 'MONTY YOU TERRIBLE CUNT!'

Also like the phrase 'a cunt's trick' to describe a particularly underhand practice. Many Conservative policies come under this umbrella, I feel.

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 23:04:35

Nasty little worm probably.. I'd be too cross to be too sweary at first, that calm rage, utter destruction... knowing my I'd say "well you're not very nice!" in shock, once it had festered a while I'd probably use every horrible word I ever learned.

I do remember catching an ex (not an ex at the time) in bed with a supposed friends and saying "Oh. Hello. Sorry!!". blush

The rage hadn't had time to bring out the potty mouth.

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 23:05:21

Oooh does it Sigmund I have very weird cunts.

Disappearing Thu 20-Jun-13 23:05:51

My very elderly gran has carers who pop in twice a day to sort out her medication etc. She's taken to calling them sluts, indiscreetly. It's mortifying. I could start a whole other thread about my gran.

I'd never heard the word used in the way of lazy slattern. I'm pretty sure that's not my gran's meaning of it either.

Funny thing is, she's always been like this, holier than thou and extremely judgemental. Now that she has dementia, she's just lost any tact that she ever had (not much!)

sad

aldiwhore Thu 20-Jun-13 23:07:43

disappearing the loss of any tact is very common. My FIl asked a carer if she'd like to share a bath with him yesterday... before Alzheimer's he was a true gent, now he tries to cop a feel at every opportunity. sad

seventiesgirl Thu 20-Jun-13 23:16:29

I read my 4yo a Roald Dahl poem about Cinderella last night in which the ugly sisters called her a slut grin

tootdelafruit Fri 21-Jun-13 13:03:36

what's wrong with numerous partners? confused

A former colleague of mine used the French version of the word (salope) about someone in the office. He no longer works for us. In that country (not France) it is grossly offensive.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 21-Jun-13 13:35:41

It's bitch, isn't it, fedup?

We don't use it in the office but I think it sounds quite fluffy compared to our English versions.

I'm rolling my eyes at the posters justifying the use of these horrid names against women by 'pretending' that they use them for themselves and have their partners/friends do so in an attempt to make them acceptable. They aren't. It's pathetic. Please stop using them, they're horrible, horrible names and people will judge you for using them.

fromparistoberlin Fri 21-Jun-13 14:25:22

curious, how do we insult women then!!!!

we are not angels, we lose out tempers, and call people names

I have been know to use the terms bitch, cow and cunt

Altough I get what you mean about slut, its a bit like slag too which I dont like either

themaltesecat Fri 21-Jun-13 14:43:31

YANBU. The word screams disgusting American puritanism to me.

(Cannot comment on the "messy bugger" sense. We don't have that in NZ, as far as I know.)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 21-Jun-13 14:43:31

fromparistoberlin (have that song in my head now, thanks for that!) grin

I don't know, it's a good question. I just can't get past the fact that when we have children we do not call them names nor allow others to do so. When they do things wrong we leap to their defence and set upon anybody who comits the cardinal sin of criticising the child, not their behaviour.

Yet, when those children grow up, they hear us calling other people names with abandon. How does that make sense? What example are we setting? Don't tell me that the children don't hear these names and us calling them, they do. We give them the message that it's fine to do that.

When those self-same children are adults and 'misbehave' they will be called names by some and treated as derogatory beings. Not nice and it really says everything about the name-caller. When people gossip to me about people I know and call them names I walk away. Whatever the behaviour was, nobody warrants those names... and it is ALWAYS towards women and mostly by other women. I don't like it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 21-Jun-13 14:44:47

Sorry fromparis... just realised you might not have been replying to my post. blush

cory Fri 21-Jun-13 14:55:07

What the word slut does very clearly is to spell out that multiple sexual relationship are not permissible if you are a woman.

You don't need to sleep with somebody else's husband or boyfriend to be called a slut: casual and frequent sex with unattached men will do the same thing. Recent case in the vicinity involved a teen girl who had had three successive boyfriends <keels over in horror>.

There is no similar pejorative word to be used of a man simply for having lots of sex.

Which is funny as most sex probably is heterosexual: these female sluts have to be sleeping with someone.

fromparistoberlin Fri 21-Jun-13 15:57:18

"Yet, when those children grow up, they hear us calling other people names with abandon. "

only when I drive lyingwitch!!!!

I just dont think we can do a moratorium on all rude words as they might be sexist...?!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 21-Jun-13 16:11:01

You might only do it when you're driving, fromparis, other people don't.

I'd say that until we can find and use words with the same level of vitriol for men then we shouldn't use them for women. Does that work?

tootdelafruit Fri 21-Jun-13 16:20:22

"curious, how do we insult women then!!!! "

I don't really consider gender when i'm insulting someone (tbh I don't really insult people but I will mutter under my breath sometimes) it depends more on what they've done. asshole, scumbag, wanker, nasty fucker, piece of shit (exp).

cory Fri 21-Jun-13 16:30:11

It seems to me that a man who sleeps with somebody else's partner will be labelled with the word "bastard", a generic word of opprobrium for people who treat others badly.

A woman who sleeps with somebody else's partner will be labelled "slut", a generic word of opprobrium for women who are considered to have too much sex.

I am sure this says something about the perceived nature of the offence. The man shouldn't have been injuring the other man. The woman shouldn't have been sleeping around. hmm

fromparistoberlin Fri 21-Jun-13 17:05:17

cunt, for me a non gender specific insult

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