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To wonder WTF 'artisan' is supposed to mean and think it's the epitome of ponciness?!

(148 Posts)
WhizzerAndChips Sun 16-Jun-13 21:31:15

I keep seeing and hearing the word 'artisan' being bandied about lately.
Someone on FB is making 'artisan' biscuits. A shop in town sells artisan bread rolls.
the more I type it the less it looks like a real word
AIBU to think it's just the new trendy, arty farty word for pretty things?!

Ragusa Sun 16-Jun-13 21:33:45

YANBU - it's the new 'bespoke'.

dorothyelmhirst Sun 16-Jun-13 21:33:46

It just means skilled handmade, it has been in use for centuries.

MalcolmTuckersMum Sun 16-Jun-13 21:33:55

Maybe. Or maybe it's a way for people to express that they've made their stuff with care, over time and with good ingredients? I don't know. I'd be more likely to buy something labelled as such because I appreciate what it means. I also know there's no such thing as an 'artisan' sausage roll!

echt Sun 16-Jun-13 21:35:13

Yes, it's shite. Here in Melbourne, "boutique" and "gourmet" are the meaningless adjectives slapped around.

NewAtThisMalarky Sun 16-Jun-13 21:35:31

YABU. Artisan, when relating to food, means made using traditional or non-industrial methods.

SirChenjin Sun 16-Jun-13 21:39:07

Artisan roughly translated means "we will charge you extra" grin

Obv. it denotes craftman/womanship, skill, quality, as opposed to cheap, mass produced stuff, but I suspect a lot of things will now become 'artisan' that perhaps weren't before wink

LifeofPo Sun 16-Jun-13 21:40:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin Sun 16-Jun-13 21:41:52

Or even better - outsource the sourcing grin

dandydorset Sun 16-Jun-13 21:42:23

the name to me means poncy over priced goods akin to shabby chic IMO

battlestarB Sun 16-Jun-13 21:43:00

is artisan the new boho

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 21:43:59

at Tebay services you get artisan sausage rolls and meat pies they cost a fortune I love these threads It is so poncy a word I am waiting on the mumsnetter to come on and tell the best Artisan story ever

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 21:45:13

is it not ingredients rather than products so your source your whole meal hand grinded flour to prepare your artisan bread wink

SirChenjin Sun 16-Jun-13 21:45:52

Tebay is fab though - definitely good for a drool at all the Lovely Things before settling for a packet of Starburst in the newsagent...

thefirstmrsrochester Sun 16-Jun-13 21:49:03

Neighbour told me her sister ran a company which made doors, UPVC ones, not just UPVC ones, but 'artisanal' UPVC ones.
Neighbour is the offsping of Hyacinth Bucket and Belinda from 'Tuscany for Beginners'.

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 21:49:10

yes I do like a mooch we always stop at Tebay Dh will drive on a bit further so we can stop and have a wander round the shop we do the same coming south we are half way home at tebay DD loves the hot chocolate they just do hot milk with a chocolate stick in it

IgnatiusSprat Sun 16-Jun-13 21:50:03

FIL makes artisan breads in his bakery. It just means not bog standard; so, sour doughs, foccacia, soda bread etc.

SirChenjin Sun 16-Jun-13 21:51:33

When did they become 'artisan' though - those kind of breads have existed for years without being 'artisan'! Very lovely they are though - yum.

TheSecondComing Sun 16-Jun-13 21:53:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hassled Sun 16-Jun-13 21:54:00

I never knowingly buy anything made by an artisan. Makes me irrationally furious.

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 21:54:04

It is just everywhere now used to hear it on cooking programmes then see it in expensive baker shops now it is bloody exploded , I think it came about when folk started sourcing their shopping

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 21:54:46

I had an artisan pie yesterday, it cost a fucking fiver

for a pie ! get thee to greggs grin

SirChenjin Sun 16-Jun-13 21:55:42

What the bloody hell was in your pie TheSecond??

Oh yes, mrsjay - the whole sourcing thing does my head in.

S

Sorry, random S

pigletmania Sun 16-Jun-13 21:58:41

Artisan wtf! Breads bread. You made blooming doh and put it in the oven. Yanbu op, totally agree with you. A good excuse to ramp up the price

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 16-Jun-13 21:59:16

Samantha Brick calls her husband an artisan.
He's a builder or carpenter or something.
Yes, it has become very poncey.

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:00:35

that must mean my husband is an artisan lead pipe fitter then confused

Growlithe Sun 16-Jun-13 22:01:22

Martin Platt from Corrie is now an artisan cheese maker. He had a stall at the Manchester Christmas Markets. DH was a bit starstruck. hmm

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:01:37

I went out with a guy when I was 17 his dad was a carpenter had his own workshop when the brother took over he was an Artisan cabinet maker

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:02:06

oh him from Blur makes Artisan cheese too

ubik Sun 16-Jun-13 22:02:59

My DP is an artisan web developer grin

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:04:08

OH somebody tried to get me to like their artisan gift bags on facebook the other week

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 16-Jun-13 22:04:28

I'm an artisan cleaner grin

ubik Sun 16-Jun-13 22:06:23

How much extra can you charge for being 'artisan?' Seriously?

There's a bakery in a large village near us, area is very expensive housing and migrating urbanites who are wannabe county set. Until about 3 years ago it was a hum drum bakery selling bog standard loaves and those cream cakes on doilies. Then they put up blackboards and called everything artisan, it's still the same stuff but they've lost the doilies and put everything up by three quid and have a queue of those idiots out of the door.

Growlithe Sun 16-Jun-13 22:08:11

Especially celebrity artisan. grin

picnicbasketcase Sun 16-Jun-13 22:08:58

Artisan = stylishly misshaped

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:11:14

I'm an artisan cleaner

do you make your own specific aromatherapy cleaning products LBE

Barmix Sun 16-Jun-13 22:11:37

wasn't there a poster who was once invited to make use of the artisanal slippers at a party? grin

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:11:54

How much extra can you charge for being 'artisan?' Seriously?

well a fiver for a pie is a good marker grin

ariadneoliver Belgium Sun 16-Jun-13 22:12:00

Some dreadful misusing of the word 'artisan' If I had a dog I'd get the artisan dog biscuits. grin

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:12:26

wasn't there a poster who was once invited to make use of the artisanal slippers at a party?

Aye I was waiting on her spying this thread

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:14:00

Urm does the artisan dentist hand carve the false teeth grin

ariadneoliver Belgium Sun 16-Jun-13 22:15:05

He probably has a treadle powered drill mrsjay

ubik Sun 16-Jun-13 22:15:33

Artisan cleaner with home made cleaning products - that us a brilliant business idea! Bicarbonate and lemon juice cleaning products, aromatherapy oils...really you should go it.

You could call yourself Artis-anal ( artisanal, get it?)

You might get some funny phone calls though

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:17:19

He probably has a treadle powered drill mrsjay

<shudder> he would need to go some

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 16-Jun-13 22:17:37

[gri] ubik.

mrsjay Sun 16-Jun-13 22:18:52

erm remember me when you are on QVC trying to flog your lemon juice for Marble worktops spray LBE i want my cut

fuzzpig Sun 16-Jun-13 22:22:24

I was so happy when during one of the recent new Big Bang Theory episodes Sheldon describes being chased out of somewhere with an artisanal salami! Instantly thought of MN grin

Yeah I remember the artisanal slippers thread.

Growlithe Sun 16-Jun-13 22:26:23

Artisan cleaner with home made cleaning products

No no no! Not homemade. Handcrafted

ariadneoliver Belgium Sun 16-Jun-13 22:27:37

You don't want lemon juice based cleaners for your marble tops. For those you need good old fashioned chemicals. grin

ubik Sun 16-Jun-13 22:28:37

Sorry crafted and sourced

TheSecondComing Sun 16-Jun-13 22:42:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yep it's me from the party where I was invited:

" to take my shoes off and help myself to a pair of artisanal slippers from the basket".

Giant basket full of Toast style embroidered slippers.

hmm

Openyourheart Sun 16-Jun-13 22:56:13

I will only buy artisan bread if it specifically states that it has been "hand baked". I love the idea of all these little craftsmen and women sitting for hours baking the bread in their warm cupped hands. It must take them such a long time to create a loaf that I don't mind paying a few pounds extra.

Triumphoveradversity Sun 16-Jun-13 23:08:24

I prefer food made by machines as it doesn't cough over it nor forget to wash its hands after a poo. I guess it can always splinter hard shards of plastic or drop in a sheared piece of metal in as an alternative.

DH calls it 'fartisan' bread and says it makes him chuff with all those seeds and bloody tackle in it; he's from Yorkshire.

juneybean Mon 17-Jun-13 06:26:34

I've read the word artisan too much and now its lost all meaning...

TheFallenNinja Mon 17-Jun-13 06:49:53

YANBU. The words artisan, organic, all natural and British before anything means increase the price to make it seem swanky.

HollaAtMeBaby Mon 17-Jun-13 07:22:44

If you're buying more than one artisan thing, don't miss the opportunity to refer to your shopping trip as "curating".

quesadilla Mon 17-Jun-13 07:29:54

YANBU. Artisan basically means "I saw you coming and whacked up the profit margin by 1000 per cent."

Some of it is good stuff, some shite. But let's not kid ourselves it means anything other than "this is middle class snake oil."

Lazyjaney Mon 17-Jun-13 07:33:53

"this is middle class snake oil."

Lovingly made by hand of course grin

ariadneoliver Belgium Mon 17-Jun-13 07:52:49

Free range snakes I hope. grin

ProfYaffle Mon 17-Jun-13 07:58:17

There's an artisan market in a village near us, full of lavender bags and bunting sewn by the residents. So that's be a craft market then hmm

mignonette Mon 17-Jun-13 08:06:43

After you have sourced your artisanal products, be sure to curate them. And wear clothing chosen from your spring/summer wardrobe 'edit'.

So irritating, my skin itches...

Nettymania Mon 17-Jun-13 08:27:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 08:28:19

Artisan is a word used by quite well off leftie North London chattering classes to describe people who do working class jobs but they dont want to say manual worker so they say 'artisan'.

It all started with the Bloomsbury Group in the early part of 20th Century who were actually upper middle class intellectuals who never did a stroke of manual work in their lives and lived incredibly privelleged lives. They patronised the 'artisan' and felt good about themselves because they didnt have indentured servants like the landed gentry.

The gap between rich and poor in the early 20th Century was a wide as it is today and interesting that the incredibly well off upper middle class in London of today again are displaying their wealth with ostentatious purchases of artisan products that people on ordinary incomes simply can't possibly afford.

The fact that the actual work of making artisan products is being done by people on minimum wage struggling to make ends meet in one of the most expensive cities in the world seems to escape the notice of these people who congratulate themselves in their 'right on' leftie credentials and their very good taste.

Putting the word Artisan in front of bread does not make the bread better, only smaller.

. And three times as expensive.

Take Gails Artisan Bread, a tiny rock hard loaf, better used to feed a trebuchet, than a mouth.

mignonette Mon 17-Jun-13 08:33:38

MoreBeta

Am singing the Red Flag as I write. I liked your post...

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 08:39:44

*it's me from the party where I was invited:

" to take my shoes off and help myself to a pair of artisanal slippers from the basket".

Giant basket full of Toast style embroidered slippers.*

There you are laurie was waiting on you grin this story is famous

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 08:43:26

The gap between rich and poor in the early 20th Century was a wide as it is today and interesting that the incredibly well off upper middle class in London of today again are displaying their wealth with ostentatious purchases of artisan products that people on ordinary incomes simply can't possibly afford.

The sourcers of these products probably think they are helping out the 'Artisan producers' make an honest living and make themselves feel better for being so rich grin

artisanal slippers

Are somebody being precious about their floors? grin

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 08:54:16

Are somebody being precious about their floors?

not just any old floors id imagine original feature floors grin

fuzzpig Mon 17-Jun-13 09:01:38

I've never read the original thread sadly, but I've seen laurie's quote many times across MN and it still makes me grin every time!

I'm home alone with DS today, do you think I should make him an artisanal hotdog for lunch?

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 09:06:41

"Are somebody being precious about their floors?"

Erm....we only wear slippers in our house and I am having someone like an artisan come and sand, seal, wax (with bees wax hand collected by another artisan obviously) them for me.

I have had homemade scones for breakfast too.

Oh dear. blush

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 09:10:13

"not just any old floors id imagine original feature floors"

That too.

Oh Golly gosh. Hoisted by ones own petard.

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 09:14:12

I think it's more of a mind set MoreBeta grin

bootsycollins Mon 17-Jun-13 09:27:37

Artisan state of mind grin

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 09:30:06

grin Boot

AlistairSim Mon 17-Jun-13 09:35:41

I've just done my very own artisan poo.

I lovingly curated all the ingrediants and carefully formed it with my organic bowels.

bootsycollins Mon 17-Jun-13 09:43:52

I'm sorry Alistair but you surely cannot take all the credit for your rustic, bespoke shabby shit yourself, please give your artisan colon and artisan innards a mention in your thanks acceptance speech. Will you be entering any of your creations into the Turner prize this year?

ShatnersBassoon Mon 17-Jun-13 09:47:06

I came across a recipe for 'Artisan bread'. The ingredients were flour, water, yeast, salt and sugar. I think it's the attitude you have, and the red trousers you wear while you're baking it that make it truly artisan rather than good old-fashioned homemade.

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 09:51:06

Yes definitely a mind set.

Here is a key test.

If you see an 'artisan loaf' for £3.00 that looks lot like an elephant dropping do you:

A) involuntarily blurt out "How much - I could make that for 50p but not sure I would actually want to eat it!!!?"

B) involuntarily go in the shop to buy it and then carry it home in a wicker basket covered in a gingham cloth.

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 09:53:11

Alistair - x-posted your 'artisan poo' with my 'elephant dropping'.

I can see we are thinking along the same lines. wink

Latara Mon 17-Jun-13 10:02:34

Words that irritate me:

Artisan
Pre-Loved (second-hand ffs)
Vintage (also second-hand)
Foraging
Sourced
Finds
Found Objects

Haven't heard 'Curating' and 'Edit' yet.

''I need to do the Curating in Tesco later'' hmmmm....

Latara Mon 17-Jun-13 10:05:01

Sorry i mean i must go ''curating'' in Tesco to source my ''seasonal artisan-grown local produce finds.''

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 10:06:31

There is a well known poster on MN who outsources all her household management tasks (this is said in all seriousness btw). Translated, it means she has a cleaner and someone who does her ironing. I love it grin

ArtisanLentilWeaver Mon 17-Jun-13 10:08:44

Name changed in honour of MoreBeta's brilliant explanation of artisan. <twirls>

A woman forced me to select different 'hats' which were on her home-made and artisan jam. Hats my arse, she had snipped her dh's shirts into circles.

YouTheCat Mon 17-Jun-13 10:10:40

Reminds me of the Harry Enfield sketch where he has a shop called 'I saw you coming' and sells all kinds of shite to morons with more money than sense. grin

It's all a load of old bollocks.

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 10:13:35

I remember that sketch - brilliant!

TheHandbagOfGlory Mon 17-Jun-13 10:14:48

I reminds me of that Harry Enfield sketch where he owns a shop called "I Saw You Coming" and sells artisanal hand crafted, overpriced crap.

TheHandbagOfGlory Mon 17-Jun-13 10:15:16

[ blush] cross post!

missmarplestmarymead Mon 17-Jun-13 10:24:34

That is a very funny sketch and it is on You Tube but I don't know how to fashion a link.

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 10:27:41

There were actually a few sketches about the I saw you coming shop, but here's one grin

Scholes34 Mon 17-Jun-13 10:32:50

The sourdough bread that I make, that takes 24 hours, but requires the absolute minimal amount of effort and costs me about 80p in bread flour, retails at about £4.50 in the shops if it has the label "artisan" on it. I don't wear red trousers when I make it, shatners, so that' s probably why I'm not making shedloads of money from it, just eating it instead.

I think the definition of "artisan" is "we saw you coming".

Scholes34 Mon 17-Jun-13 10:33:48

Ooh, xpost youthecat.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 17-Jun-13 10:37:50

Yeah, get yourself some red trousers and a Breton top Scholes. You'll be featured as a Guardian Weekender with a month, as "Scholes, 34, artisan boulangere, street artist and curator".

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 10:39:28

Artisan - "she had snipped her dh's shirts into circles"

You mean she had 'upcycled' her husbands skanky work shirts and some used jam jars to save the planet as well.

Otherwise known as flogging overpriced microwave jam you can make in 5 minutes from packet of frozen fruit and a bag of sugar.

*Upcycling is the process of converting waste materials or useless products into new materials or products of better quality or for better environmental value.

I was definitley think of that Harry Enfield sketch as well. Brilliant!

fuzzypicklehead Mon 17-Jun-13 10:40:28

"rustic, bespoke, shabby shit" grin

also "instant collection", meaning overpriced crap X 3.

i.e. "this instant collection of found objects will create a stimulating talking point, displayed on the mantel of your period fireplace."

translation: "here is some random shit I plucked out of my hedge. That'll be £75."

In other word, a prize turd then, Alistair.

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 10:41:48

Oh dont get me started on cheffy words Rustic ARGHHHH angry

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 11:10:45

Now the word 'bespoke' gets on my wick. Thats another way of justifying ridiculous prices.

I kid you not. I am sat here right now looking at a quote for a new back door that says:

"Supply and fit bespoke rear door painted same as original - £638 plus VAT"

I am also looking at a popular building trade supplier catalogue feauturing an identical door to the 'original' currently filling the hole at the back of my house for £80 including VAT.

Now I know I need to add latches, hinges, locks and fittings costs but I'm not really seeing where the 'bespoke' element adds £500 difference to the price.

That is one heck of a cheap door though, MoreBeta, our local joiner (who actually has his workshop under a railway bridge, no internet and no email, and only occasionally answers the phone) quoted me £2300 plus vat. Not fitted.
You'd think I wanted a door for a flipping palace, not a 3 bed end of terrace ex council in Shitehampton!

I am however, grateful for the kitchen fitting advice on another thread I was musing the other day. Harvey Jones has lost a potential customer with a budget a light-year away from their prices.

TheHandbagOfGlory Mon 17-Jun-13 11:19:27

There is a place near us that used to have a wooden board propped up outside, with "Sheds For Sale" painted on it with red paint, now it has a new sign saying "Purveyors Of Fine Timber Garden Buildings" and people are flocking to it every weekend.

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 11:20:30

Red trousers do not come cheap MoreBeta - a pair of handcrafted, artisan breeks cost around, oooh, £500. What a coincidence! grin

a wooden board propped up outside, with "Sheds For Sale" painted on it with red paint, now it has a new sign saying "Purveyors Of Fine Timber Garden Buildings" and people are flocking to it every weekend.

And I get slated for daring to say that the British are impressed with Posterity.... wink

This thread is a testimony to how the marketers of this nation know their targets..... grin

ShatnersBassoon Mon 17-Jun-13 11:32:12

Artisan food is always bought for 'supper'. It's not for people who eat dinner or tea.

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 11:35:48

That is v true Shatners! I love watching Nigel Slater's cookery stuff - he's always preparing something for supper using up expensive, handcrafted, organic leftovers from his fridge that are handwrapped and tied with string in a most artisan way. His leftovers never consist of a fish finger and mouldy bit of lettuce like mine do.

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 11:38:06

Quint - £2300 plus VAT and not fitted. shock

He cannot be serious, surely!

Mind you my 'artisan' also quoted £2400 + VAT for a pair of 'bespoke cupboard doors. Fitted though so maybe its a bargain.

Strangely he also has no internet or email and works out of shed which was a recycled Nissen hut from WWII with a tin roof.

I bet they are related.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 17-Jun-13 11:40:50

Nigel Slater is the figurehead of artisan foodstuffs! Does he wear red trousers...? confused

Not even Painted, and without "door furniture" ie knobs, letterbox. I had to curate these myself to edit to the door at his workshop (is this the right lingo?) shock

Needless to say, I "sold out" I went to Anglian and bought all my doors and windows for the entire house from them, and have been pestered on the phone weekly by them trying to sell me more doors, and more windows.... hmm Like I change them every week?

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 11:47:46

I'm willing to bet he has a pair that he wears to artisan farmers' markets. They must go very well with his wicker shopping basket and handcrafted alpaca and mung bean sweater grin

DawnOfTheDee Mon 17-Jun-13 11:49:35

Even pork scratching have gone artisan now. Nothing is sacred....

DawnOfTheDee Mon 17-Jun-13 11:50:17

Pork scratchings I mean. An itchy pig is not artisan afaik -yet--

MoreBeta Mon 17-Jun-13 12:25:04

Most pork scratchings are produced from pigs kept like this but by adding the word 'artisan' they want you to think of this.

Both pictures are real pigs on a real farm in a perfectly legal way but you have no idea how the pig was actually kept that goes into an artisan bag of pork scratchings. Its all marketing.

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 12:31:20

Yep, and people fall for it, every time

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 16:57:44

Artisan food is always bought for 'supper'. It's not for people who eat dinner or tea.

I always thpught it was onlY nigel Slater that ate supper do other people eat it too shock (fwiw my supper is usually a packet of crisps and or chocolate bar watching the telly)

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 17:14:12

Oh no, supper is what my vair posh friends have instead of dinner! My supper is tea and toast with butter and marmite before bed - yum

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 17:15:46

Oh no, supper is what my vair posh friends have instead of dinner!

oh so it is just a normal dinner/tea then wink

BeCool Netherlands Mon 17-Jun-13 17:21:24

Artisan is the new Greige

dadinthehat Mon 17-Jun-13 17:22:09

An artisan is the maker. The thing made is 'artisanal'. Not 'artesian' as I saw on a menu recently.

Crikeyblimey Mon 17-Jun-13 17:22:10

I have my staff source artisan products for supper. Well, I ask dh to buy stuff on the market for tea! Is that the same thing??

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 17:23:22

Well, I ask dh to buy stuff on the market for tea! Is that the same thing??

yes just go with it

Crikeyblimey Mon 17-Jun-13 17:23:52

In all seriousness, I thought artisanal was when a product was made on site from scratch (eg the baker actually baking bread, not just finishing off some bought in dough)???

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 17:24:23

Yep, supper is just dinner/tea by another name grin

Crikeyblimey Mon 17-Jun-13 17:24:55

Ooh goody MrsJ - I shall be poncy in my own supper time then smile

TheOriginalSteamingNit Mon 17-Jun-13 17:25:12

I thought of this thread today when I saw some artisan water for sale in waitrose....

Crikeyblimey Mon 17-Jun-13 17:26:49

Artisan WATER??? Wtf??? Is it water that has been "passed" by the quality dept?

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 17:27:15

I thought of this thread today when I saw some artisan water for sale in waitrose....

EH what no way really water confused

TheOriginalSteamingNit Mon 17-Jun-13 17:28:21

Really really! Lovely little bottle with a nice picture of a flower on it, but that's about all the distinguishing features!

mrsjay Mon 17-Jun-13 17:31:49

do you think it is freshly collected dew water grin

OH i was in a sainsburys in cardiff (or bristol cant quite remember) a few years ago and their own bottled water was the same water that I get out my tap disguised as mountain something or other water grin

ubik Mon 17-Jun-13 17:47:46
ubik Mon 17-Jun-13 17:49:11

And it has Morten Harkett in it

WilsonFrickett Mon 17-Jun-13 17:58:04

Artisan turns into a really weird word when you read 136 posts of it...

But completely agree, tis only ever used by people who have 'suppah'.

Massive twats, in other words.

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 18:25:44

Love that clip! Why is Morten Harkett in it though? confused

Finallygotaroundtoit Mon 17-Jun-13 18:42:15

There is a fab French & Saunders scetch about 2 cleaners in the country cottage retreat of a rich socialite.

They laugh about her ridiculously expensive T shirt and Knickers and how she turns discarded farm implements into gifts.

She won't have PG Tips or white sugar in the cottage and her 4x4 gets a tow from their mini.

She would call them Artisans for sure grin

Can't find sketch anyware

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 19:08:35

Is it this one Finally?

On a slightly more blush level, I worked as a chambermaid as a student, and this is EXACTLY what we were like blush blush

SirChenjin Mon 17-Jun-13 19:10:17

Well, maybe a slight exaggeration grin

Finallygotaroundtoit Mon 17-Jun-13 20:22:45

That's it Chen!

White bread is OK if it's French and shaped like a penis grin

Anyone for a pair of Artisan Clarks?

www.clarks.co.uk/p/20343443

ArtisanLentilWeaver Tue 18-Jun-13 09:48:18

An Artisan salt collection with a terribly angry dolphin logo.

My mum had shoes like those Finallygotaroundtoit and a matching handbag and hat for weddings or smart. The leather hand nibbled and crafted by artisan shoe elves, of course. and not from M&S

ariadneoliver Belgium Tue 18-Jun-13 11:10:44
LaughingLen Tue 18-Jun-13 12:42:20

Even Argos are in on the act, watch out Artisans you'll end up as a polypropylene rug

imademarion Tue 18-Jun-13 14:43:29

Another annoying word - 'heirloom' used about tomatoes and fucking beans! Mainly by American food bloggers , but creeping over here...

WilsonFrickett Tue 18-Jun-13 15:38:03

Yes! Heirloom! Don't leave me a sack of bloody potatoes in your will mother!

I was in an actually not poncey though a tad lentil-weavery restaurant and they had heirloom potatoes on the menu, my friend said 'what's those then?' and the waiter said 'they're old.' To which my friend of course replied, 'well, I'd like some fresh ones please.' grin

ariadneoliver Belgium Tue 18-Jun-13 16:01:30

Actually heirloom I can deal with, it indicates (or should) that the vegetable is grown from traditional variety of seed rather than a modern cross bred variety grown to look good but little else.

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