To think the sample girls pack from the school nurse was totally inappropriate.

(259 Posts)
Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 17:45:48

Dd wanted a private talk this morning. Turns out that in Friday they had the puberty talk and were given a pack. Except they ran out of time so no time to discuss how to use the products.

There were a couple of always panty liners, three Always towels a normal one, a night one and a "silk" one. They were huge. I can't see dd bring able to wear a leotard in one of those.

Then there were two Tampax Compact (the ones with plastic applicators) one Regular Yellow one & one green Super one. As if a year 6 child will be able to insert one if those. When I was at school we were given a same of the special lites ones. They could put her off for life.

Luckily I had anticipated this and a couple of months ago bought a lovely little make up style case by Lillets contains various if their teen products. Smaller child sized towels but that are supposed to be extra absorbent and small easier to insert tampons.

I know they were free samples but really!!'n

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 16-Jun-13 17:48:26

Some year 6 girls would not have an issue using normal yellow tampax.

I think your over thinking the matter

ITCouldBeWorse Sun 16-Jun-13 17:48:42

Really what? If she has ever walked through a supermarket or looked in your bathroom cabinet, then she will be familiar with them.

You explain how to use them and when you think it is appropriate to use them.

Well it's not the school's or the school nurses fault. The company Always chooses to give away the samples as part of their promotion. It's not the school's fault that lillets do not choose to do the same!

heidihole Sun 16-Jun-13 17:49:24

I think I always used the normal sized products? I was about 13 when periods started. Don't think i'd be concerned with the free sample pack to be honest.

And yes, those size products are not inappropriate at all really.

YABU, I don't see how it was "totally inappropriate".

ParadiseChick Sun 16-Jun-13 17:51:25

Yabu, they weren't sent home to try them out, they are samples of what's available, and the girls can use what they choose.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 17:51:42

Did you really start with the adult sized ones? I was 13 and started with the special Tampax Lite ones. They were hard enough to insert at first. I thought things had moved on since the 80s not backwards.

MrsLouisTheroux Sun 16-Jun-13 17:52:05


BaconKetchup Sun 16-Jun-13 17:52:38

I think YABU

crashdoll Sun 16-Jun-13 17:52:52

YABU. Some girls have very heavy periods.

RoooneyMara Sun 16-Jun-13 17:53:19

I remember being about 13 and at secondary school, sitting in the cloakroom after school changing my shoes.

A girl from my class, who was a bit more developed than me, asked if I/anyone had any spare tampax.
I offered her a lillet, I kept them in my bag in case but hadn't even started yet,

she laughed at me and said 'No thanks I'll just drip'. She was normally that rude but still, it made me realise that some girls had heavy periods and generally, more to deal with then I did.

Shakirasma Sun 16-Jun-13 17:53:47

Is there even such a thing as child sized sanitary wear??

Nothing wrong with the products they were given IMO.

And as for not time to discuss how to use them, surely the girls would already know the before Fridays talk, assuming they are in year 6.

Jan49 Sun 16-Jun-13 17:54:11

It sounds fine to me.

A small easier to insert tampon won't be very effective, so she'll need to change it more often. I've never heard of a child-sized towel. confused

But the size of a tampon is for the difference in flow not the size of ones fanjita!

AuntieStella Sun 16-Jun-13 17:54:47

Were the Always pads their scented ones? I'd certainly be cross about that.

NatashaBee Sun 16-Jun-13 17:55:06

I see your point and I'm surprised that they didn't give away samples of the 'teen' range - but I think it's more important that girls have a good range of pads and tampons to try. Some parents may not think to buy or may not be able to afford to buy a lot of different types to try out, and some girls may not even get the 'puberty talk' at home at all

anniepanniepears Sun 16-Jun-13 17:55:16

year 6 is a ten year old
personally I would not like my 10 yr old dd to try a tampon

ToysRLuv Sun 16-Jun-13 17:55:18

She might prefer the security offered by a bigger towel compared to a "teen size" one depending whether she is tiny herself or not. It's better for her to have a range of stuff to try for herself than something you think is appropriate. Probably not a mooncup, though..

HollyBerryBush Sun 16-Jun-13 17:55:32

Y6 ???


ISingSoprano Sun 16-Jun-13 17:55:42

Dd has always used the adult ones.

guanosoup Sun 16-Jun-13 17:56:04

Well, back in the eighties, we had to use the only things available, and that included mahooosive great towels the size of house bricks. Girls from previous generations didn't even have that luxury.
None of this 'teen-sized' malarky when I were a lad...

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 17:56:18

Surely the samples should be ones they can actually use when they very first start. Arnt the first couple of periods supposed to be very light?

It wouldn't encourage dd to buy those brands again if she couldn't actually use them.

MrsLouisTjeroux - sorry don't understand your 6 post. Dd is in Year 6

Crikey, I thought you were going to say they gave year 6 girls free condom samples or something! I really don't think it will put them off for life hmm They'll be putting bigger things than a super Tampax up there before very long grin

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik Sun 16-Jun-13 17:56:38

TBH I would have been incredibly glad to have those! Not the big towels for wearing a leotard but presumably your DD doesn't only wear leotards.

We got given the pink ones and they lasted about half an hour, which made me feel awful. If someone had bothered to tell me they went up to super plus I would have had a much more comfortable year 8!

I really don't understand your problem.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 17:57:18

I've just googled- seems Tampax don't make those first tampons anymore. They do a Lite one though.

I remember having the puberty talk and free tampon samples in yr6. It's not a new thing surely. Why should they not have all options available to them?

QueenStromba Sun 16-Jun-13 17:57:41

I was using super plus at the age of 12.

ToysRLuv Sun 16-Jun-13 17:58:42

My first period was probably the worst so far. Lots and lots of blood and other stuff (TMI).

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 17:59:28

Dd will wear a leotard every day next year so its probably going to be important that she gets used to tampons as soon as she is able.

blobandsnail Sun 16-Jun-13 17:59:47

This has to be some kind of joke surely? YABVU and a little bit weird to even think this much about it.

By the title of the thread I was expecting there to be condoms and a copy of the karma sutra included in the pack, not just some sanitary products you're not really a fan of!

nooka Sun 16-Jun-13 18:00:10

The teen ranges are all pretty new, so whilst it might be nice if a sample pack was teen orientated I don't think it is something to be in any way outraged by. Obviously there is a bit of a marketing opportunity being missed there (dd uses Always slender, so they do have a product they could be flogging).

HollyBerryBush Sun 16-Jun-13 18:00:27

We had the puberty talk in Y8, Miss Biology teacher got out various products and a girl bolted for the science lab door, turned green and copiously threw up. That was the end of that. We sniggered like only teenage girls do.

I think My Guy and Jackie taught me everything I needed to know grin

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 18:00:37

I'm not objecting to the samples per se. I just expected that they would be given the teen products especially as kids are getting younger & younger.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 18:01:30

Tampax had a teen range in 1988.

ParadiseChick Sun 16-Jun-13 18:01:34

I started my period the summer before primary 7. Was awful.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 16-Jun-13 18:01:52

AFAIR (1980s), the Tampax light ones were slimmer (a bit).

I think that girls should be advised/given sample of a lubricant as well. That would help girls to not be put off.


why? - health reasons or something else?

I used tampons from my second period. I always worried a lot about towels showing, leaking or moving and they felt like wearing a nappy (they were thicker in those days, but I still don't think I'd use them)

roundtheback Sun 16-Jun-13 18:02:02

What's with fainting Holly???

I was 11 when I had my first period and was by no means the first in my class. They were never particularly light either....

I also can't see the problem here. The size of sanitary protection required is to do with flow, not age.

FantasticMax Sun 16-Jun-13 18:02:03

Just be grateful she's had the talk! I was off sick the day I was supposed to have mine and lo and behold, the day my period came I was so scared I burst into tears!

I still have no idea how I got to be 13 and didn't truly understand what a period was.

Jengnr Sun 16-Jun-13 18:03:09

What's the problem?

And why wouldn't you want a 10 year old to try a tampon if she needs one anniepanniepears?

nooka Sun 16-Jun-13 18:03:52

My dd also started off with pretty heavy periods. Like many younger girls she was not at all comfortable with the idea of using tampons, of any size, and it's taken her a while to think that the positives outweigh the negatives (I don't use them either).

Bunbaker Sun 16-Jun-13 18:04:07

DD didn't get given any samples when they had the "talk"

HollyBerryBush Sun 16-Jun-13 18:04:40

round Y6 just seems so awfully young for adult matters.

Shakirasma Sun 16-Jun-13 18:04:52

The teen products are no different to the rest of the range, just packaged more discretely.

She is not obliged to use the samples, in fact they may even be out of date before she starts her periods. If you and she would prefer a different brand or design, just go and buy her some. This sort of thing is really your job, with back up from the school. It's not the schools responsibility to tell them what sanitary wear they must use, it's just a suggestion.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 16-Jun-13 18:06:16


It isn't "adult" matters though, really, it's biological matters.

I do feel sorry for girls who start young, though. Mostly because I remember how terribly painful mine were when they first started

Shakirasma Sun 16-Jun-13 18:06:36


My middle dd is year 5 and several of her peers already have periods, year 6 is certainly not young!

Jengnr Sun 16-Jun-13 18:06:44

Periods are teenage matters not adult matters Holly

Blissx Sun 16-Jun-13 18:07:13

I started my periods in Year 6. This is a step forward in educating young girls who could be about the start their periods but parents think they may be too young to know about how to use towels and tampons. It prompted a conversation you had been delaying with your DD did it not?

Floggingmolly Sun 16-Jun-13 18:07:13

So get her the teen range yourself, maybe? hmm
If I've read your post correctly; there was one single sample of each size enclosed in the freebie box? How long would that have lasted her????
I can't even see the point you're making, tbh.

Arisbottle Sun 16-Jun-13 18:07:16

Lots of girls will start their periods in Year 6 or seven, I would hardly call periods am adult matter.

I am intrigued that your daughter will wear a leotard every day. Makes me think of Bonnie Langford

Bunbaker Sun 16-Jun-13 18:07:51

I think girls especially need to know about periods in year 6. I think year 5 (9/10 year olds) is very young to start periods though.

Morgause Sun 16-Jun-13 18:08:20

I started my periods when I was 10. Thank goodness my mother had the sense to tell me the year before what it was all about.

But Holly, I started my periods in yr7 and I was by no means the first of my year group, how can periods be "adult matters" if girls as young as 9 and 10 have them and the average age to start your period is 12?

WafflyVersatile Sun 16-Jun-13 18:08:45

Imagine being a girl who needs the bigger ones but was given a pack which only contained lovely delicate girly petite samples. She'd maybe feel pretty crap.

I'm more annoyed about the marketing in schools.

When I was a teen the PE teacher told us if we got caught out we could go to the staff room and ask for a 'bunny' from a female teacher who would then bring the housebrick to you wrapped in paper hand towels so the male teachers would never guess what that was all about.

Cross post with just about everyone - sorry!

ToysRLuv Sun 16-Jun-13 18:09:11

Another one here who has never used tampons. Would have been in hell with leotards (not that I would ever have worn those blasted things either).

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 16-Jun-13 18:09:13

year 7 didn't exist when I started my periods, I'm that old

ClaraOswald Sun 16-Jun-13 18:09:40

Arnt the first couple of periods supposed to be very light?

Not in my case. It was as though the gates of hell had opened!

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 16-Jun-13 18:09:58

What are "adult size" tampons? confused

Periods are different for every woman are they not? I recall my first being anything but very light.

I thought you were going to say they'd put condoms and a morning after pill in the pack.


McNewPants2013 Sun 16-Jun-13 18:10:10

I have never heard of teen period products.

I was using super flow tampons from my second period at 11.

SuffolkNWhat Sun 16-Jun-13 18:10:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClaraOswald Sun 16-Jun-13 18:10:26

Forgot to say- I was ten.

I take my average age comment back too... I quickly googled and misread, it says "the average girl" not the average age.

FriskyHenderson Sun 16-Jun-13 18:10:50

You sound like my mother who assured me that I would only need a pantyliner at first. Possibly two a day. In fact I had nearly a year of 10 day long, heavy periods every two weeks from the age of 11. A fact she could never get her head around - but she banned tampons which meant no sport, no swimming no running for the bus

Everyone is different <shrugs>

SirBoobAlot Sun 16-Jun-13 18:12:08

I don't understand what you're objecting to, really. Especially if you've already got her things yourself.

And it's certainly not too young - possibly too late for some of the girls. Another ten year old starter here.

SuffolkNWhat Sun 16-Jun-13 18:12:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 16-Jun-13 18:13:25

Ywnbu to think the school should have provided Lil Lets instead of Tampax though.

I would agree with you on that score. Have only ever used Tampax in times of dire need.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 18:13:42

I don't know about her friends but no, dd didnt know what to do with them. She's read the leaflet plus the one I gave her and I went through a few things with her.

She's going to a dance school in September but currently dances after school 4 days a week at the moment.

pointythings Sun 16-Jun-13 18:14:22

Pictures I started periods when I was 15 and they were not light. They were heavily than they are now.

lljkk Sun 16-Jun-13 18:14:24

Surely the samples should be ones they can actually use when they very first start

I don't know how large the average y6 girl is or how big the avg girl is when she starts.

I do see that some of DD's best mates in y6 are plump, 5' tall and not yet started, so when they do start they may well need more than slim dainty sanitary wear. Unless the school nurse is going to have separate packs for the petite vs. tall+plump, I think a variety of sizes is the only way to go.

Salmotrutta Sun 16-Jun-13 18:14:52

Ten years old is not unusual nowadays to be starting periods - girls are entering puberty earlier.

OP - it was a free sample. Its Meant to give an overview of choices from one company, not a comprehensive range of all products on offer.
If it bothers you so much why don't you sort a few things out for your daughter.

LIZS Sun 16-Jun-13 18:16:07

dd got same pack recently in year 7, if already too late for some of her peers. Some girls unfortunately will only get access to basics that way. I have bought a selection for when the time comes, although she doesn't really want to discuss it further now and given her size could be someway off yet anyway.

LIZS Sun 16-Jun-13 18:16:57

oh and some of dd's peers are bigger than me so no way are they an inappropriate size.

EMUZ Sun 16-Jun-13 18:17:19

I was 9 when mine started and having to use normal size pads as they were so heavy
Was paranoid about leaking and the best advice someone gave me was 2 pairs of knickers, I felt more secure like that
Surely better to give standard size stuff out than have a girl panic if she uses a teen pad and thinks she is abnormal if her period is too heavy for it?

ZZZenagain Sun 16-Jun-13 18:18:08

I don't think it was entirely inappropriate but it is a shame they ran out of time and didn't get round to discussing how to actually use the products

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 18:18:36

Dd has been suffering from occasional tummy cramps so that's why I thought things might be imminent.

I'm guessing at her new school they will be well equipped to help the girls with this especially as a lot of them board.

SuffolkNWhat Sun 16-Jun-13 18:18:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:18:45

I don't understand your problem OPconfused

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 18:19:50

The lilets were recconendstion on mumsnet. Apparently they are more absorbent but smaller so more discrete.

ToysRLuv Sun 16-Jun-13 18:20:06

I was nearly the size I'm now - only about an inch or two off (I'm tallish now), so I would have laughed "daintily" at the teen size towels.

pointythings Sun 16-Jun-13 18:20:41

DD1 got her sample last year, but has always known about periods because I've never made a secret of them. She's 5'5'' and a size 6, developing a definite figure so it isn't going to be long - which is why she has a couple of adult size pads in her backpack at all times. She knows what tampons do but doesn't want to use them yet - I didn't either, not at first, until the swimming issue came up (we had a lido nearby, think long hot summer days with friends) and I bit the bullet.

FiaGrace Sun 16-Jun-13 18:21:06

A slight aside but a genuine question - can someone please explain why some mothers wouldn't want their daughters to use a tampon and would insist on a towel? It's been mentioned up thread and I've heard it a number of times but have never understood it (assuming the daughter is happy to use a tampon).

I started my periods aged 9 and was given the choice by my Mum (although I'd already chatted with my older sister about the pros and cons). I also did a lot of sport/gymnastics/swimming and so having a choice made sense.

I'm honestly not wanting to start a fight, I'm just interested


valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:21:23

They should give out info for moon and sponges as well, and washable padsgrin

pointythings Sun 16-Jun-13 18:21:38

I use supermarket own brand at the moment btw as I refuse to use the scented crap.

catlady1 Sun 16-Jun-13 18:21:54

YABU. I started my periods aged nine, and they were most certainly not light. I used the biggest tampons my mum could find, and pads as well, for fear of leaking through my trousers at school. Young girls have enough things to feel inadequate and abnormal about, being an early starter or having heavy periods surely needn't be two more.

exexpat Sun 16-Jun-13 18:24:16

By this point in year 6 some of them may already have been having periods for a year or more. I started using tampons not long after my periods started, and soon found that the regular ones weren't enough for the heavy days or overnights.

If they had only put super ones in, that might have been inappropriate, but the mix sounds fine to me.

NewAtThisMalarky Sun 16-Jun-13 18:25:20

My daughter has always used normal sanitary products. I can't see anything wrong with what they were given.

jammiedonut Sun 16-Jun-13 18:25:38

What a strange thread! I never even knew they did a teen range. I started at 10, when I realised what was happening my bed looked like a crime scene, so ended up wearing night time pads as standard and moved onto tampons when someone took the time to explain how to use them. Lucky mum didn't think it odd that I needed the bigger tampons as she understood it was about flow not size of your vagina. I remember the starter pack we were given in year 7 didn't contain tampons though so times certainly have changed.

JohnnyUtah Sun 16-Jun-13 18:26:00

YABU. I never used anything other than normal size stuff. Yellow tampax and big fat pads, they weren't as thin then as they AR enow.

Mrsfluff Sun 16-Jun-13 18:26:35

My DD started her periods at the very beginning of yr 6, she was barely 10. Unfortunately, her periods were both heavy and painful from day one, as well as regular as clockwork. I agree with a previous poster that it is unfortunate that the school ran out of time, but I don't agree with OP that the products were inappropriate.

ComtessedeFrouFrou Sun 16-Jun-13 18:26:43

Another one who wore tampons from her second period (aged 12). I was using super sizes tampons for my twice-monthly periods hmm shortly afterwards.

My DSis and I baffled my DM, who had only ever had fairly light periods.

Now I use a mooncup, but I can see that one of those would be inappropriate and faintly terrifying for an 11 year old.

Cravingdairy Sun 16-Jun-13 18:27:59

It really isn't the school or the company's job to give your daughter free products she can use with a leotard.

They should have talked through the options properly, but the items sound absolutely fine to me.

I don't understand the petite vs plump thing. What difference does that make?

LondonBus Sun 16-Jun-13 18:29:54

YANBU, but I always like a freebie.

You sound like a lovely mum to have already bought some appropriate products.

Don't girls write off to lillets on forms found in magazines anymore. It's what we did in the 80's. Even those starer ones wouldn't go up my fanjo properly.

I think they should, Valium, seriously.

I remember the brick-size things! That big and they still leaked down the sides.

Dsis who is two years older than me didn't even get stick ons - they were given a belt and looped towels.

If I'd been given teeny tiny 'teen' products I'd have thought there was something seriously wrong with me and my lumpy torrential flow.

valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:32:35

Why is a tampon ok for an 11 year old but not a moon cup? Serious question. If she is used to using tampons is there any reason she couldn't use a moon cup?

Jestrin Sun 16-Jun-13 18:33:13

I haven't read the thread through, so apologise but the first few posters mentioned the 'teen range' . Can you tell me exactly what they are called? DD is 10 but started puberty a year ago. I have searched Tesco and Sainsburys for sanitary wear that would be suitable for when the time comes. Nothing suggests 'teen range' to me. Just the usual packs. Many thanks.

exexpat Sun 16-Jun-13 18:34:55
nooka Sun 16-Jun-13 18:35:41

Helping your dd to put pads in their knickers is simple and easy, and the only risks tend to be about leakage. Putting in tampons (IMO/E) is much harder to demonstrate and there is always the concern about toxic shock. Personally I think that getting your period is a pretty big deal with just the simplest protection, so I'd always start with towels, plus I think it's a good idea to get a feel for your cycle first. I have a feeling I've seen some advice somewhere suggesting waiting six months or so before starting with tampons which made sense to me, but I doubt was based on any evidence.

I offered my dd both options, but as I don't wear tampons personally (as I've always found them very uncomfortable) I wasn't able to give her very good advice on practical usage. Tampon questions also are a bit more intimate, so I would suspect that is probably the source of the reluctance.

valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:36:00

On the moon cup website there is a testimonial from a 13 year old who uses one.

Basically OP, it's not up to you to choose what she uses, she needs to decide for herself.

I don't understand why a mooncup would be any more inappropriate than a tampon confused

I suppose it's unlikely a mooncup would be given out as a free sample because of cost but I think it would be good if girls were at least introduced to the idea of reusable protection as an option from the start.

NotYoMomma Sun 16-Jun-13 18:36:55

I started in year 7 and it was like niagra falls lol.

Teenage range? snort

Is that not a bit of a patronising way to charge parents more?

nooka Sun 16-Jun-13 18:38:23

Sorry, that was an attempt at answering FiaGrace's question about discouraging tampon use.

LIZS Sun 16-Jun-13 18:39:02

Our large Tesco had the Lillets Teens range at £1 per pack this week.

NotYoMomma Sun 16-Jun-13 18:39:06

Oh AND I got put on the pill at a young age to help sort them out.

Catholic mother was horrified

plainjaney Sun 16-Jun-13 18:39:12

My Mum was VERY anti Tampon back in the 80's, apparently I'd die from TSS if I ever used one hmm
My first few periods were hell, the towels she gave me were enormous and I was so conscious over them I wouldn't leave the house wherever possible. In the end I took to buying my own tampons. Finally we had a discussion and reached a compromise that Tampons are fine for the day but towels overnight. I still follow that logic now, as does my DD.

I gave DD the choice. She chose tampons and as she's particularly heavy most months she also started on the Super ones. DD didn't have a 'pack' from school but I did give her a small makeup bag with clean knickers, tampons AND towels in to keep in her school bag from when she was about ten.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 16-Jun-13 18:39:41

My first period was horrific. So much blood! And that was in the days of horrible thick Dr White's towels.

valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:40:11

My mum made me use the towels with an elastic belt! I used to use my pocket money to buy Vespre towels on the way too school. I would have loved some free samples!

Franup Sun 16-Jun-13 18:40:16

Hollyberrybush I'm nearly 40 and started in first term of Y7. We also got the Y6 talk. But no samples.

You seem to think this is some novel approach to puberty?

Can't believe they still do the always packs shock i got mine in second year aged 13 way back in 2001! Me and my mates loved them, i already used always so they came in handy, one mates mum was a prudish nutter and refused to buy pads 'just in case' so when my friend started they were a lifesaver to her.

Don't see anything wrong with the sizes, you get 'normal' or 'medium' in both pads and tampons until you figure out your flow.

TheReverseStitch Sun 16-Jun-13 18:41:22

In the early nineties I was given what sounds like an identical sample kit when I was in year 6 primary school.

I started when I had just turned 11 and I have only ever used normal adult, non teenager products so tbh I can't see what the issue is really.

ComtessedeFrouFrou Sun 16-Jun-13 18:42:49

Why is a tampon ok for an 11 year old but not a moon cup? Serious question. If she is used to using tampons is there any reason she couldn't use a moon cup?

In theory, no reason at all. But at 11 I was so horrified about starting my periods and the prospect (a) of having to deal with it and (b) everyone knowing about it that I would have been totally horrified by a mooncup. There are plenty of adult MNers who are so put off by the potential for "gross" that they wouldn't try one, so I can't see your average 11 year old girl being very keen. Maybe some would, but I suspect most wouldn't.

Besides, at age 32 the smallest size sometimes feels a little uncomfortably ambitious shall we say. No doubt that will all change once this DC I am having has emerged grin

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 18:43:12

The teen ones are supposed to be just as absorbent as the adult ones (though I can't personally testify to that)

SuffolkNWhat Sun 16-Jun-13 18:44:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:45:00

Suffolk-I had a version of that,I loved it grin

1Catherine1 Sun 16-Jun-13 18:45:50

To answer FiaGrace's question... My mother told me she preferred me not to use them as a child. I believe it was a health thing. I believe my mother didn't trust me to use them properly. Simply she thought I wouldn't change them often enough. That was when I was in year 7, by year 9 I was considered mature enough to understand the responsibility of of choosing the correct flow tampon and using it properly. I do understand her logic, even if others don't.

As for OP's post - when I was at school I think I got exactly the same pack as your DD. My mother confiscated them, reason above. But a few years later, I did buy these for myself - my mother used the non applicator ones and as a squeamish 13 year old I preferred the idea of an applicator. I think you'll find your DD manages fine with them.

exexpat Sun 16-Jun-13 18:46:46

Hollyberrybush are you sure you had the puberty talk in year 8? I would have thought that would be the sex/babies talk. Year 8 is 12-13 year-olds, and by the end of that year I think at least 50 per cent of girls would have started their periods. Even year 6 is too late for some - it's not uncommon to start at age 9 or 10.

sudointellectual Sun 16-Jun-13 18:47:45

Sorry, YABU, and a bit mystifying.

I had heavy flow at 11 and used super flow tampons at primary school. God, if anyone had suggested to me that that was abnormal or that I had a bucket fanny because of it I would have been scarred for life!

livinginwonderland Sun 16-Jun-13 18:47:59

YABU. I've been using the normal ones since I got my period in year 7 (aged 12) and I never had any problems.

AudrinaAdare Sun 16-Jun-13 18:49:00

I have Von Willebrands (undiagnosed then) and wasn't allowed tampax at all my Catholic mother (or to go on the pill early) but luckily a friend's mum helped and I was using the super-plus by twelve.

Always wanted the old-style type of pads I'd read about in Judy Blume books, with the belt. I was overjoyed when the hospital gave me some after having DD. They were every bit as good as I had expected - kept the pad next to your body and didn't shift around or move when your knickers moved. I'd glady have worn them as a kid, fashion / lycra be damned for the peace of mind grin

valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:49:46

Our games teacher used to tell it's there was no reason why we couldn't use tampons and used to dish them out and tell us not to come out of the loo until we had it in and could go swimming. She also used to write our dates down in a little red book in case we were trying to get out of showers after games.

Can you imagine that happening these days?shock

nooka Sun 16-Jun-13 18:49:52

dd's 'slender' pads are just cut a little more narrowly than the standard Always towels. So she finds them a bit less bulky to wear. Different brands seem to come in slightly different shapes so I don't think that you have to have a teen branded one if you have a smaller frame. The one she liked the packaging of the best (comes in bright slightly wacky colours) was the widest so that was a bit disappointing to her.

piratecat Sun 16-Jun-13 18:51:28

you are going to have a shock. my 9.5 yr old ended up having to use maxi towels for her flow right from the off.

FiaGrace Sun 16-Jun-13 18:52:09

Thanks nooka and Catherine

Tortington Sun 16-Jun-13 18:52:10

am i the only one who has a problem with Always promoting their 'brand' in schools?

valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:53:01

Custardo, no.

valiumredhead Sun 16-Jun-13 18:54:01

It's like the bounty packs in hospitals.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 18:54:43

I was quite grin at the ingredients in the Silk ones in the pack.

TheReverseStitch Sun 16-Jun-13 18:55:48

The thing is that the free sample wasn't designed to be appropriate starter kit for your daughter. Procter and Gamble are only interested in increasing their brand awareness, they aren't doing it out of kindness to the nations daughters or anything it is merely a way to get the Procter and Gamble brands into your house.
That sample was designed as advertising, nothing more, nothing less.

They will be aware that most mothers of the girls will still be using SanPro themselves and so they will be wanting to appeal to them too, hoping to win over some business from any competitors. So it makes sense to put into any kit that will be going home the full range of products, not just any teen-bop ranges they may do.

1Catherine1 Sun 16-Jun-13 18:58:03

Custardo - I see your point but no, I do not have an issue with it. When it was introduced to use I specifically remember the woman saying "This is just one brand, there are plenty of others". I would rather something was introduced to teenage girls as not every girl comes from a background where someone will sit down talk about this. This is better than the alternative.

Its not as if they're giving away coca-cola or McDonald's.

greedygoose Sun 16-Jun-13 18:58:13

Not unreasonable at all! As a SN we give these to year 6 every year. I used a tampax for my first period, I just preferred them!

BeepBeepBeep Sun 16-Jun-13 18:58:22

Add message | Report | Message poster mrsminiverscharlady Sun 16-Jun-13 17:56: They'll be putting bigger things than a super Tampax up there before very long

hmm nice!

Jestrin Sun 16-Jun-13 18:59:07

Thank you for the links smile

Hulababy Sun 16-Jun-13 19:00:10

Dd started her periods at Christmas age 10, year 6. First month the teen range were Fine. Now they're not enough. She uses normal pads.
Only tried tampons once as we were at centre parcs and started unexpectedly, again a normal one though. Used it no real issues but she didn't like it anyway.

Tortington Sun 16-Jun-13 19:00:35

"Its not as if they're giving away coca-cola or McDonald's."


flippinada Sun 16-Jun-13 19:00:45

Yr 6 - if that's aged around 10 that seems right to me as quite a few girls will have already started their periods by then.

IIRC we had the talk around that age and I'm late 30s so it's nothing new.

MaybeBentley Sun 16-Jun-13 19:01:42

YABU to complain about the sample. It is a cross section of products and shows there is not just one type that girls can use. I expect Always are the only company prepared to put funding into providing all the schools hence their involvement.

Don't most towels show through leotards to some degree? So not sure what you want OP. At least it is better than when I was at school. HUGE towels with strings attached and a couple of safety pins to attach them to your pants, unless you were lucky enough to have sani-belt. REALLY showing my age here! And I spend every day in a leotard with them as well ... felt like a brick between my legs!

Nokidshere Sun 16-Jun-13 19:03:39

I started so long ago I cant even remember what year I was in - but yr6 and yr7 didn't exist back then so I guess it was probably the first year of secondary. Lovely sanitary belts with massive Dr Whites with loops - very discreet - not!!! And we definitly didn't have samples!!

This thread reminds me of when my son was in yr5 and they had a "little talk" because some of the girls had already started. He was in the bath that night and I was asking him if he had any questions about the lesson that day, he looked up at me all sweet and innocent and said "Mummy, I am sooooo glad I am not a girl" haha

I'm really enjoying this thread for the trip down memory lane smile

That's interesting that the belt and loop towels worked so well. We were told we were incredibly lucky to have stick ons and that the old style towels were dreadful because you got a big sticky out lump at the front and another at the back and they bunched up all the time grin

And the wonderful new invention they were compared with ... the Dr Whites style housebrick stick on. I seem to remember them travelling backwards in my knickers quite frequently. Some of them didn't even have a backing, they were literally just like a big wodge of bog roll and cotton wool stuck together, so they leaked straight through.

TheReverseStitch Sun 16-Jun-13 19:06:13

Is this the sample pack you are talking about OP? Here

TheReverseStitch Sun 16-Jun-13 19:07:33

Link fail, try again. Here

We are doing the talk to all members of Year 5 this half term. I have found free samples of lilets teen range to give to the girls. Our school nurse thought they were really nice, but had never seen the set before. TBH I am sure someone will complain about it, but that is always the case!

cory Sun 16-Jun-13 19:08:37

Not at all unusual for girls to have started periods by Yr 5. Even in my day I wasn't the only one who started in (equivalent of) Yr 6. It did seem very early and embarrassing to me, but that was because I felt awkward talking to my parents. Dd took it far more in her stride.

This is really one matter where there is no point in parents wailing "but she is so yooooung". Biology will happen when it happens.

LIZS Sun 16-Jun-13 19:09:48

Not the one dd got - no fancy pouch here.

Iseeall Sun 16-Jun-13 19:11:14

My daughter was 12 when she started her periods. They were heavy and long lasting from the outset. Much heavier than I had ever experienced. After a couple of periods she was chugging down the tranexamic acid(sp) like nobodies business.
At the doctors the first thing that was mentioned was the pill. We managed to hold off with that for about eight months.
Just because you are young it doesn't always mean little/light periods.
I think the teen ranges of sanpro are just a marketing exercise.

OrangeLily Sun 16-Jun-13 19:11:53

YABU although you may want to take up this opportunity to talk about cups instead of tampons or towels for when she's ready.

Early teenage years many girls have horrendously heavy periods and 'teenage' products are laughable. Try supertampon and two night time towels at age 12 which wouldn't last more than two hours. hmm

LIZS Sun 16-Jun-13 19:12:53

I would agree no different to Bounty packs etc but better than nothing.

cory Sun 16-Jun-13 19:17:37

I had far heavier periods as an 11yo than I did in my thirties.

Yes, be prepared for her possibly having heavy periods from the start and not actually wanting to wear a leotard every day.

Branleuse Sun 16-Jun-13 19:25:01

when i got free samples, the towels were the ones with a loop in that you wore with a belt

LegoAcupuncture Sun 16-Jun-13 19:25:57

I would have loved to have been told about sanitary wear when I was given the talk at school. I didn't have a clue, and my mam was the sort of person who expected the school to teach me about sex ed and periods. I wrote her a note the day I started my period as I was so scared.

So glad I've only got boys.

Jinty64 Sun 16-Jun-13 19:27:58

I had a sanitary belt. My mother wouldn't let me use tampax because "they could get lost". Mmmmmm!

bryonywhisker Sun 16-Jun-13 19:33:39

yabu I had a belt too that I had to hook 2 pads onto because I was so heavy. I could always smell it and was sure everyone else must have done. Leaking onto your school uniform was a regular occurence sad hurrah for sample packs and openess

dorothyelmhirst Sun 16-Jun-13 19:39:34

So what should be in the perfect start up pack?

What should you avoid and what should you get?

ravenAK Sun 16-Jun-13 19:40:09

We have a HUGE box of free san pro stuff in the teachers' loo at work.

The PSHCE Dept. offer them to the year 7 girls, who have generally got all this sorted & politely decline.

So I'm not sure the marketing strategy is that effective in this instance; apart from anything, I've been using them for months & honestly couldn't tell you what brand they are...

beachesandbuckets Sun 16-Jun-13 19:40:41

I was given tampon samples at 11/12 at one of these school talks with no explanation on how to use them, I was too embarrassed to ask my mum, tried myself and it really hurt as I was probably not doing it properly, never have used them since (I am now 36)

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 19:40:43

No, that link was nothing like the pack.

Sorry plentyofpube what do you mean about not wanting to wear a leotard every day. She won't have a choice.

TheCrackFox Sun 16-Jun-13 19:46:14

I think it is brilliant that girls are given these packs so they can see the choice that is out there.

My periods started when I turned 11 and I also had an incredibly controlling mother and was not allowed to even try tampons until I left home at 17yrs.

Dackyduddles Sun 16-Jun-13 19:46:19

Well bully for u op that u were so light and dainty. Some of us weren't. We needed adult products.

LIZS Sun 16-Jun-13 19:47:24

Definite trend to wear jazz pants, long t shirts or shorts over leotards at dd's dance school.

ComtessedeFrouFrou Sun 16-Jun-13 19:50:54

I think what plenty is saying is that your DD may well not feel that she wants to dance, either because she's in pain and generally feeling like crap or because she's embarrassed and convinced everyone can tell she's on get period.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 19:51:38

The uniform list says not to purchase warm up/cover up clothes. Year 7 is Leo & socks for ballet & Leo & footless tights for other styles. There is a school track suit.

Oh, Yes, be prepared for your DD to have heavy periods from the off. I remember my teenage periods being a bloody nightmare in every sense of the word. And DD began her periods halfway through Year 7, well before her 12th birthday, and as heavy as I remember mine.

As I still use tampons/towels/whatever, I've long had a mixed supply in the bathroom, and she's tried various towels and settled on a supermarket brand she feels comfortable with. She's not yet happy at the idea of tampons/mooncups. I'm going to get a mooncup, but it's up to her what she chooses.

I began using tampons aged 13, straight onto regular/super as required.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 19:52:47

Sorry I mustn't have made it clear earlier on. When I said she's going to dance school in September I meant full time dance school.

SuffolkNWhat Sun 16-Jun-13 19:53:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS Sun 16-Jun-13 19:56:25

Even dance school must be used to this, or if they do so much maybe periods stop like many gymnasts and swimmers. I'm sure she'll fit in with the the norm and many towels are pretty discreet anyway compared to 20 years ago.

DD has just told me that she and her peers have never been offered sample packs at school. She's near the end of year 8 and is now feeling a little miffed that she's missed out on something grin

exexpat Sun 16-Jun-13 19:58:42

I can see why people are comparing this to Bounty, but as far as I can tell the big difference is that to get them you don't have to agree to be put on a mailing list for endless marketing in future - they are just one-off free samples, and I don't have a problem with that. And as others have said, it could be hugely useful for girls whose families don't prepare them or don't approve of tampons.

Jan49 Sun 16-Jun-13 20:02:26

I think the advice when I was a teenager (late 70s/early 80s) was that tampons weren't suitable for young girls, not til you were about 16 or so, maybe not when you were a virgin(?) so maybe that's why some people have experienced parents thinking they're unsuitable. My mum prepared me for periods with towels with loops and special pants (one pair!) that the loops linked to. I don't actually think she would have known what a tampon was. I switched fairly quickly to towels with an adhesive strip.

We didn't get any freebies at school (stamps foot) but when I was at uni aged 19, a friend and I decided to try tampons for the first time and wrote to one of the big companies for advice as we couldn't get them in. Cringe.blush They advised to put Vaseline on the tip of the tampon. It worked.

McNewPants2013 Sun 16-Jun-13 20:06:48

Of corse she will have the choice, I didn't do swimming in school and to save the embarrassment I skipped this lesson.

Op I do wonder if you are finding period talk a bit difficult to you daughter.

primallass Sun 16-Jun-13 20:07:21

I started my period in P7 (was maybe 11). I had one day of towels and went off to the local shop and bought tampons without telling my mum. (We were between houses and I was staying with my gran.) Sorted.

MummytoKatie Sun 16-Jun-13 20:08:59

I remember filling out a form in Mizz magazine for a box of 8 free tampax when I was 13. It was pretty effective marketing - I'm now 33 and have never used anything else!

Allthingspretty Sun 16-Jun-13 20:09:31

Your dd is lucky all I eber got was the tampax and the container. I would have preferred the Always

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 16-Jun-13 20:10:20

I didn't find it difficult at all. I just thought she would find those products difficult to begin with. We talked about the fact that her dancing would probably mean she needed to try and get on with tamping as soon as possible when the time comes.

She will absolutely not be allowed to skip dance classes once a month. If any if them tried it they'd soon be kicked out!

McNewPants2013 Sun 16-Jun-13 20:12:51

I never got on well with tampons, a mooncup is far better.

diddl Sun 16-Jun-13 20:18:06

I don't get the problem.

She was given stuff that she doesn't need yet but will at some point.

Plus they didn't say how to use the stuff-well, then you'll have to do it!

We've always been an unlocked bathroom household with people wandering in and out.

So from a young age my daughter knew what tampons were for & how to use them.

She was using them at 10.

Was determined to so that she could swim also felt "safer" using them than pads when horse riding.

youarewinning Sun 16-Jun-13 20:18:13

I'm pretty sure when I tarted my periods (I was 16) there wasn't any 'teen' sanitary products available. There was always and tampax (and other brands), you bought the absorbancy you required.

JoyMachine Sun 16-Jun-13 20:51:26

well, the chances are she won't have any periods anyway! My MIL was a dancer, and she had none for 20 years almost, certainly started extremely late, even for her generation.

AuntPepita Sun 16-Jun-13 20:55:20

Wow, I must have been a really late starter, 4 months off 15 (1993).

halcyondays Sun 16-Jun-13 21:09:41

In my young day, sanitary towels were sanitary towels, child sized ones were unheard of. They would have been useless for my heavy periods anway. I can't see how it's going to put her off for life, she doesn't have to use what's in the sample pack if she doesn't want to. I hated the idea of tampons when I was young, but in later life I used them. But I'm sure plenty of girls have used them from a young age especially if they were swimmers etc. How are "teen" tampons easier to insert anyway?

The only possible issue with tampons being handed out is that some girls might use them without changing them often enough, but presumably this will have been explained to them in school.

Rowgtfc72 Sun 16-Jun-13 21:13:25

I was ten when I started my periods. I was given the belt/Dr Whites combo and hated it. I wasted a whole packet of Lillets trying to work out how to use them. we were given Tampax freebies at school in a little pink or blue case, they were the regular ones. I ended up with pads after my grandma told me the tale of inserting the cardboard and not the tampon. They leaked like buggery and I spent about six months with my jumper tied round my waist. For swimming we had a red dot put in the teachers diary until she started chucking tampons at us and telling us we had to use them. So we did.Dd will get a choice and a bit more than being shown the relevant page in the medical book.

soverylucky Sun 16-Jun-13 21:14:19

This thread has really annoyed me and I have only read page one so I apologise if I am covering what has been said already.

I started my periods when I was ten. This was in the 80's. I had been given the talk and had some tiny, dainty little towels ready for when the first period came. No-one gave me a range of products to try and sure enough I leaked EVERYWHERE and thought I was a freak because of the teeny tiny towel I had been given. I didn't realise that you could get different size towels.
I think your dd is very lucky to have been given the FREE samples that she has when really as her mother it is your responsibility to sort her out with sanitary protection.


halcyondays Sun 16-Jun-13 21:16:29

We never had a talk at all at school, never mind free samples. And I am 35, so not totally ancient grin

MrsDeVere Sun 16-Jun-13 21:22:06

I thought those teen sanitary products were a marketing gimmick.
I just assumed they were confused

If they are more suitable that is great, I am all for making things easier for young girls.

I really hate all this prettifying of sanitary wear though, it feels like we are going backwards.

Sorry OP I can't see what is inappropriate about the back you describe at all.

redexpat Sun 16-Jun-13 21:34:34

My mum (HV) had to share an office with the school nurses and would come home very cross around this time of year because she couldnt move in the office for sanitary towels.

Just thought Id share.

BackforGood Sun 16-Jun-13 21:50:40

I'm with most people. Can't see what the problem is. They can't really tailor the talks and samples to allow for the rather unusual circumstances of a child attending a dance school. hmm

I might go and start a thread, questioning why my dd (who is currently doing the sex ed lessons in Yr6) hasn't come home with any free samples, or why my dd1 never got any free samples either.... I'd appreciate some free samples, not complain about them wink

MsWazowski Sun 16-Jun-13 21:54:10

DD2 is a dancer, she is 14 now and started her periods aged 12. She's never wanted to try tampons and was a bit worried about being able to see towels under her leotard at first, but doesn't even think about it now. The towels are really slim and the other girls will be going through the same. Try not to worry smile

MsWazowski Sun 16-Jun-13 21:55:15

Meant to say, she's always used normal 'adult' sizes.

Branleuse Sun 16-Jun-13 21:59:07

how will it put her off for life anyway?? You dont get much option in whether you use sanitary protection or not

Housemum Sun 16-Jun-13 22:51:00

Can't remember if we had any samples at school when I was in year 6 (or 2nd year middle as it would have been for me 35 years ago!) and i think it's fair to assume i didnt, as you couldnt even advertise sanpro on TV until the mid 80's! if I receive samples next year for Dd2 I wouldn't expect her to use them anyway, I'd use them to open and talk about how to use them so doesn't matter what size they are.
Claim to fame my school year was in a Lillets advert in Jackie when we were first year upper school (year 9) grin

steppemum Sun 16-Jun-13 23:00:17

I started aged about 13.
I used tampons from second period, I am so thankful that I did, as I would have missed all sports otherwise

I used adult sizes, regular. lite would have been too small and not absorbent enough

meganorks Sun 16-Jun-13 23:12:10

I found lillets much harder to use as a teen than regular tampons. So not sure your solution pack will be any better than what you object to your dd being given.

marriedinwhiteagain Sun 16-Jun-13 23:21:45

My dd started her periods in Y6. No samples had been provided by a school nurse.

Dd was 10.5. Fortunately I had realised she was developing apace and I had laid some stocks in though I hoped she would get to 11.

She was still so young in spite of all our chats that she told me that evening that she had a strange not poo smelly skid in her knickers.

No big deal; we had a giggle she took it well. We had a cake the next day and she had her ears pierced that weekend (I had said she could when her periods started years before!!!!!).

That weekend we looked at lots of stuff in Boots and bought lots of things for her to try including the lillets staryter pack; a little cosmetic purse to hold some sannies and spare pants, and a little diary to keep a note of dates and cycles.

I don't suppose every pubescent girl gets that much fuss and think the nurse did a grand job at helping the girls familiarise themselves with sannies and tampons.

Dd is 15 now; has always liked Always,silk with wings best and still isn't comfortable. Or confident using tampons although she's got every make under the sun in her drawer.

I really don't think period related stuff is to be shocked about; rather that young girls need rreassurance and support.

The End!

PistachioTruffle Sun 16-Jun-13 23:23:57

I started at 11, and had towels from the start and hated them. I remember getting the pack, and the talk, and really appreciating the chance to try tampons. I read the instruction leaflet and warnings, and had no problem from the first use. It also gave me the confidence to go and ask my mum if we could buy tampons - she hadn't mentioned them as she didn't get on with them, and assumed I'd be the same. She had no problem getting them for me though!

thebody Sun 16-Jun-13 23:34:38

Just read marriedinwhiteagain,

Best post I have read in ages. Lovely mother daughter relationship.

Totally agree.

nohalfmeasures Sun 16-Jun-13 23:39:23

My mum was positively evangelical about tampons (1980's) and it was none of the applicator nonsense either- just Lilets in regular and super. Never had a massive problem with them- it just took a bit of practice.
Over the years have dabbled with mooncups and washables (much easier than you think) but seem to end up back with the tampons again.

Dontlookattheknees Sun 16-Jun-13 23:55:37

People got packs ?? Wow we had a box in the teachers cupboard which I don't think anyone ever used.
I started at 10 and I just used 'adult' ones (teen ones didn't exist and well that's all marketing) straight off the bat - applicator tampax (green then yellow same as now)
They were just around the house.
I don't get the issue

lurkerspeaks Mon 17-Jun-13 00:27:19

I'm afraid as someone who doesn't possess a teen daughter that the teen ranges were a gimmick.

My Mum bought me a huge stash of different products to try. I think I wore one towel for about 2 hours and decided I didn't like the drippy feeling and moved straight to Tampax regulars.

Over the years I've moved from Tampax to lillets and back again a few times. I really like the compact ones but hate the plastic applicators for their environmental impact so I don't buy them unless they are very cheap.

I love the "pretty drawstring bag" to hide the lillets products in. Bloody stupid idea - anyone who has been down the sanpro aisle will know exactly what it is.

Personally I'd go for a period survival kit (bit like the one in my own work bag) with painkillers, tampons (several sizes) and some towels/ liners if she needs contained in a cosmetic pouch.

Panty liners during periods are my new favourite things... no more agonising that you are going to mistime your trip to the loo or get engrossed and forget. I would definitely start newbie tampon wearers off with this habit. And yes, I'm in my thirties and only just learning new tricks!

differentnameforthis Mon 17-Jun-13 02:56:43

I wish to god that my mum would have let me use tampons when I started. I have been heavy from day one & had so many embarrassing leaks (thankfully never at school). The minute I earned my first wage, I bought tampax & never looked back. And it was super size from day one!

differentnameforthis Mon 17-Jun-13 03:02:51

That's lovely marriedinwhiteagain.

That is what I have done for dd. She is 10 soon & development is definitely under way, so I have been stocking up! I want her to be prepared. I was 13 & had nothing! Thankfully I was babysitting so all it took was a call home, but I still don't understand why mum never talked to me about it or bought me stuff. As it was, I had to use hers as it was "perfectly good enough" (read huge)

I am pretty sure my sister gave me some stuff. Or I was given it from a different source. Anyway, mum refused to buy tampons, so I did so as soon as I was earning enough!

Dd will have what she needs when the time comes, which is important.

smokinaces Mon 17-Jun-13 03:10:08

I started at age 11, first few months of secondary. Before our "talk" at school. I used towels. I was so heavy I would use nighttime towels in the day, extra long, extra wide. Getting the tampax samples at the end of the school year saved me - meant I could practise, then ask my mum for some. The tampon and towel combo did me for years. I had v.v.v. heavy periods though - on lots of drugs and then the pill aged 14 to try and lighten them. So not every girl will suit smaller products.

musicposy Mon 17-Jun-13 03:37:00

You're overthinking it. DD1 wears a leotard for dance every day, she's now 17 and has always just worn normal pads as she can't get on with tampons. They don't show. She had this worry when she first started (at 14, I'd very much suspect if your DD is typical dancer shape they are unlikely to be imminent, btw, as dancing to this extent definitely holds it back) but you really can't tell she's wearing pads. She does that ballet thing where you put one leg right up touching your ear (winces) and if you can't tell with that or with splits, you won't tell with anything. Chill out over it and let your DD find her own way. Everyone else at the dance school will be in exactly the same position.

Loving 'Sannies' grin

Very early eighties here, Mum bought me a prepack survival kit to keep in my school bag. It was a sealed plastic bag with a couple of sanitary towels (modern sticky backed ones) some paracetamol, paper knickers just incase, a little pack of wet wipes and a leaflet.
I don't know where she got it from but she was ahead of the game.

She didn't use tampax but bought some to leave in the bathroom, but I never got on with them, 4 babies later and I still don't.

You had to write to 'the Nun' at Dr Whites for a free sample then and she would pop them in the post.

sashh Mon 17-Jun-13 05:44:05

Surely the samples should be ones they can actually use when they very first start. Arnt the first couple of periods supposed to be very light?

Wish someone had told my body that.

DS started her periods in year 6. They are really heavy and we thank god for those big chunky towels and super tampax.

She needs to be secure that what will happen to her is normal, be her periods light or heavy. She needs to be aware of all of the protection available and how to use it.

You need to speak to her about all this in conjunction with the school not get all huffy at what they have given her.

Disclaimer: have only read OP.

YABU. In my mother's generation it was common for girls to start their periods with no idea what was going on - then they panicked. This is thoughtful and useful. They should not have been handed out without some advice on use, but as long as that followed in the next lesson, no harm done. Some kids don't have parents who will have prepared them, or will buy they supplies in advance. It's good that they have this help, even if some parents are not so keen. After all, it's not aimed at the parents, or at the kids with lots of support. It's aimed at the others.

MrsDeVere Mon 17-Jun-13 07:11:36

This is a bit of a sore subject for me.
I had no help as a child. I didn't start till I was 14 but was unprepared. When I had expressed to my DM that I didn't know what to do (several years earlier) she was very cross and said 'Oh fgs you won't need to know for years yet!'

So I never bought it up again.

The products I had to use were horrible. I was very ill every month, knocked out, sick, in a lot of pain.
Nothing was done about it, no discussion.
I cringe thinking about it all now.

So when I had a DD I knew what I was going to do. My DD would have access to the very best, she would know what to do, be able to talk to me about it all (although I found it difficult due to my own upbringing). It was my plan.

But DD got cancer when she was 12 and her little body was so assaulted by toxic drugs that she didn't get the chance to develop. If she had they would have given her drugs to stop her periods anyway. They would have messed up her blood counts.

Then she died. So I never got the chance to sort all that out. To make it better for her.

Thats all a bit crap really.

So, anyway. Make it better for your DDs and don't buy into all that sanitary protection is sooooo shameful we are going to try and make it look like make-up in case a <gasp> male sees it.

ParadiseChick Mon 17-Jun-13 07:32:55

I remember announcing to my dad I was a lady now and that was why I was dressed had to toe in black in the height of summer during my first period.

YonilyDevotedToYou Mon 17-Jun-13 07:38:39

So sorry for your loss MrsDeVere.

I think what plenty is saying is that your DD may well not feel that she wants to dance, either because she's in pain and generally feeling like crap or because she's embarrassed and convinced everyone can tell she's on get period.

Yes, that is what I meant. Maybe she'll be lucky and have light, pain free periods but that's not guaranteed, even if she's a small build and a dancer. I had a friend who was tiny and a gymnast who had very heavy periods from the age of 9.

In the first couple of years there were months when it felt as much as I could do to drag myself through a normal school day.

So sorry MrsD sad x

MNEdBlackpoolWiganandSalford Mon 17-Jun-13 08:37:37

Haven't read all thread yet but glad they are doing this in year 6 I had already started by the time we did it in year 9.

MNEdBlackpoolWiganandSalford Mon 17-Jun-13 09:48:09

Hugs to mrsD your so right sad

FobblyWoof Mon 17-Jun-13 09:50:31

I was nine when I started my periods. The size, shape, whatever else of a pad wasn't horrifying to me- it was the fact I had to use them at all!

In fact, because I was so worried about leaking at first, the bigger the pad the better. Obviously I didn't have experience of tampons until a few years later and I never got on with them but I would have needed bigger because my periods were so heavy.

It depends on the individual what they will need, and just because your DD will wear a leotard every day next year you think it's unreasonable to include bigger ones as samples when they could help a lot of others realise what size they need? confused

Companies probably stopping doing teen ranges because no one bought them.

EileenChildminder Mon 17-Jun-13 09:58:50

Stop being so fussy, and let your daughter find her own way. She's old enough to know all about her own body, and so she should. Just be thankful she doesn't have to use the stuff that we had to back in the 70's...

Sorry for you MrsD thanks

Our sanitary products are easily to hand in the bathroom. DD has a cosmetic purse sized bag to keep supplies in for school, but isn't that fussy as her bag is clear plastic.

There's no attempt to hide things from the males in our house. In fact, before DD began, DH was with me when we talked to DD about it all. He just wanted her to realise that if her periods began and I wasn't immediately able to help her, she could go to him and he'd help her.

Her first period was quite heavy, her second was worse.

When her second period began, she'd been wearing jeans at school for a dress down day and met me at my mum's house for tea. She'd leaked badly and got quite distressed. I'd planned to get her some new trousers anyway so shot into town (5 mins walk) and got new jeans while Mum quietly helped her out in the bathroom. When I got back she was much calmer, cleaned up and wrapped up in mum's dressing gown.

Following on from marriedinwhite's post, it is the reassurance that matters most to daughters, not being picky over what sanitary products to use. Dd is now comfortable in dealing with her periods and is happy with her choice of product. If she wants to use something different, she just needs to let me know.

MNEdBlackpoolWiganandSalford Mon 17-Jun-13 11:12:28

I have explained to dd in detail, I had an emergency hysterectomy when she was two so she has never seen anything to do with periods and never been around any of the stuff.

VenusUprising Mon 17-Jun-13 11:20:32

Oh this brings me back to ju mother having hysterics that I would deflower myself with tampons.
She was adamant I would use towels, with a belt, no less...... HA! That lasted an hour.
I had horrendoeously heavy periods from the start, and used super tampax tampons.

I was so happy to have got them free, as my mother would have never bought them for me, and I would have never seen them!

Maybe we need the nurses to introduce mooncups?!

Whatalotofpiffle Mon 17-Jun-13 11:21:20

I got a similar pack. Just use it as an opportunity to discuss her options

VenusUprising Mon 17-Jun-13 11:22:14

Yes Eileen, that was what was on offer to me... Hurray for the nurses and their freebie packs of mixed San pro.

VenusUprising Mon 17-Jun-13 11:22:58

Exactly whataloadofpiffle. It's a start of a conversation.

kilmuir Mon 17-Jun-13 11:23:04

Have to say my daughter has very heavy periods so needs the bigger tampons and she is 12.
you sound ridiculous

thebody Mon 17-Jun-13 11:23:38

Oh mrs D.. Just hugs to you. We all need to understand how lucky we are to have our dds. I know I do. Xxxx

VenusUprising Mon 17-Jun-13 11:26:50

Mrsdevere flowers

ChunkyChicken Mon 17-Jun-13 11:27:37

I'm sure the thread has moved on since but...

I was in Y6 when we had the 'period' talk. My DH was in the same school yr & makes jokes about the girls being taken off & told all the girl stuff, like how to get your DH to do what you want wink I'm in my 30s, so we're talking over 20yrs ago, so its hardly a new thing. I was 11 but I was the oldest in the yr.

I used towels for my first period at age 12, but used non-applicator tampons soon after that because that's all my DM had. She doesn't "believe" in applicator tampons, but that's a whole other thread...

Tampax still make a slimmer "lites" range but it is also for lighter flow by virtue of the fact that it is simply smaller.

Your fanjo is really quite flexible - its the nature of the beast as it were!!

OP - By all means encourage your DD to use applicator tampons rather than towels if you think that will be discreet, but if her flow is heavy, & it could well be, a "lites" tampon might be useless. The free samples pack is just that. Free samples. Not obligatory. If you feel your dd needs alternatives, provide them.

Poor girl. This dancing sounds quite intense and demanding

Greythorne Mon 17-Jun-13 12:01:27

You sound like a lovely mum. It is hard to imagine our little ones growing up, becoming teens. But periods are a fact of life and offering pretty, teen themed tampons doesn't make the process of starting one's periods any easier.

Open dialogue, however, between you are your daughter will make things somewhat easier for her.

You need to sit down and have a chat about how she will manage her dance classes on the days when she has her period. Tampon or not, you need to discuss it.

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 17-Jun-13 12:08:03

I expect it will be demanding. But it's her choice. In fact she had a late audition because initially I didn't want her to audition. I had a change of heart in that I thought I didn't want her to think what if later in life.

It's not just dance shell be doing singing, mysicsl theatre etc.

So maybe u was being unreasonable but after seeing in mumsnet about all the great products available these days that were much more absorbent but easier to manage at first I thought surely they would use those products.

And to the poster who said about it being covered in the next lesson - there is no next lesson. The girls going on to the high school next door will get another puberty session in year 7 of high school.

EuroShaggleton Mon 17-Jun-13 12:16:57

I'm another one who had pretty heavy periods, pretty much from the off (aged 12).

My mum wouldn't let me use tampons to begin with (grrr) so I had a couple of years of awful leaks. Then she relented. I always used tampax. I would have thought they would be much better than lilets as they are long and thin with an applicator. Lilets widen out much more when they get wet (and I never got on with them, even as an adult). Also, some teenage girls are not comfortable putting fingers inside.

VonHerrBurton Mon 17-Jun-13 12:42:34

I don't get all the worry, mystery and 'adult stuff' as someone referred to upthread.

My ds was 9 (now 10) when we had The Talk. I got a bowl of water, tampons and pads out and let him have a good look, put the tampon into water, see what happens. Whilst he was doing that I explained that anytime soon the girls in his class may 'start'. I think its very important that parents of boys detail periods with them at an early age. I don't want my son to be the tosser that shouts 'youve got blood all over your skirt' at some poor girl. If some parents didn't treat biology like it wasn't going to happen to them, wed all be a lot better off and it would all be more open - not hidden away in twinkly bags like its a source of embarrassment.

marriedinwhiteagain Mon 17-Jun-13 12:51:41

Mrs deVere - hugs.

valiumredhead Mon 17-Jun-13 13:46:59

Von, I've done the same with my son.

thebody Mon 17-Jun-13 14:18:39

Wow, never thought of doing this with my sons! Why bloody not. What a great idea though now in their 20s probably a bit late!!

My dd got her first period at 10, in the middle of Tesco. The staff couldn't have been nicer, blocked off a changing room for her, brought wipes, a selection of clothing (she had to have a complete change from the waist down) and were completely lovely.

We'd already had the talk about puberty, sanpro and all related things after some of her friends had started their periods at 9!

Dd and ds have had great fun trying to recreate some of the craft items found on the tamponcraft website grin

VenusUprising Mon 17-Jun-13 11:20:32
Oh this brings me back to ju mother having hysterics that I would deflower myself with tampons.

And this, in a nutshell, is the idea behind the older generation being so disapproving of tampons. It might be dressed up as a concern for safety, eg not using tampons at night in case of TSS. But the ignorant idea that somehow "good" girls didn't use tampons was quite widespread. Even some of my school mates had mums who wouldn't let them use tampons because "it wasn't proper for girls", and I'm 44 so not that old.

valiumredhead Mon 17-Jun-13 14:45:13

Thebody-my son's school did it too in a puberty workshop they held.

BackforGood Mon 17-Jun-13 15:02:03

At my dcs Primary school, both the boys and girls have the same lessons. The do split them into boys in one room and girls in the other, but they all get to find out about tampons, sanitary towels, wet dreams, the lot. I'd be surprised if that wasn't the same for all Yr6 ??

lainiekazan Mon 17-Jun-13 15:03:38

I wish I'd had any kind of talk when I was in Year 6. My periods started at 12 and it was a nightmare as my mother had failed to give any kind of "talk" or even left a book on my bed (as my friends' mothers did). A school talk would have been a godsend.

And as others have said, for some girls the bigger the better! My periods were terrible during my teenage years. The pain was debilitating and I sometimes had to wear two pads at once to cope with the flow. Oh, the joy when wings came in!

I remember watching the television when the advert came on with whatsername... the agony aunt... advertising towels with wings. My mother huffed and puffed and said those sort of adverts shouldn't be allowed. sad And I agree with FryOneFatManic, my mother was cross when she saw I'd bought some tampons (when I was 17) and said I'd have to buy them out of my pocket money. Oh... and deodorant wasn't allowed and nor were, wait for it.... bras! (Thank goodness I was not very well endowed!)

valiumredhead Mon 17-Jun-13 15:16:27

Did anyone have the book 'have you started yet?'

It was brilliant,all the girls read it in our year,we borrowed it from the library, it was very well thumbedgrin

marriedinwhiteagain Mon 17-Jun-13 17:07:31

Blimey laineykazan, dd's suddenly in D cups - she's be bouncing everywhere if I vetoed bras. I even buy my 18 year ds condoms. Someone on here once called me a narrow minded old boot!! Haha

TallulahBetty Mon 17-Jun-13 17:21:51

How can some people on this thread say year 6 is too young for this talk?! IMO, it's too OLD!! I started my period in year 6 (aged 10) so this talk would be too late for me! And many others these days I expect. Lucky for me my mum had prepared me years earlier, but for those not so lucky? Needs to be age 8 I think.

valiumredhead Mon 17-Jun-13 18:01:53

I agree that 8 is more appropriate.

madamginger Mon 17-Jun-13 18:53:21

Valium I had that book! I started aged 10, and I gave it to a friend at school when I was 12 and her mum went batshit.
I hated tampons at that age I always used pads (and the pill and tranexamic acid) I was soooo heavy I used to get through 3 packs of kotex super heavy every period.
I converted to a mooncup a few years ago and I love it.

valiumredhead Mon 17-Jun-13 19:00:10

Ha ha it was such a good book, told you everything very clearly and simply.

Some girls are eleven in year 6. Depends when their birthday falls. Dd friend turned 11 last sep but dd is not 11 till August. Both start year 7 in September.

Anyway yabu. I really thought when I opened your thread I was going to read the nurses pack contained a pack of condoms or something.

My first period was heavy and its stayed that way ever since

Dancergirl Mon 17-Jun-13 23:26:24

I had that book valium! It was THE book in the 80s.

Has anyone else noticed the OP is only posting in relation to her dds dancing? Perhaps this isn't about San pro at all, more a stealth boast about getting in to a dance school...?

MummytoKatie Tue 18-Jun-13 00:30:30

Just a thought but a tip for mums with pre teen girls who may want to use tampons - tell them to aim for the small of their back - it never occurred to my mum to tell me (as it is obvious) so I was trying to get them in vertically. Couldn't work out why it was so uncomfortable!

valiumredhead Tue 18-Jun-13 07:59:45

Good tip, when I discovered that things were much easier mummy,I always aimed 'up!' Ouch !

WafflyVersatile Tue 18-Jun-13 08:58:05

The body get them round for the chat anyway! Then report back here.

valiumredhead Tue 18-Jun-13 09:31:22

I watch Dance Moms,I can't see how any of them could wear even a thin towel without it showing.

valiumredhead Tue 18-Jun-13 09:31:53

Yes I do watch crap Tellyblush

Dancergirl Tue 18-Jun-13 09:56:34

Never seen Dance Moms, but my dd started last year and she's a keen dancer. She uses towels and you can't see them under her leotard. I think it helps wearing tights under the leotard, wearing a leotard with socks might be more of a problem.

MiaowTheCat Tue 18-Jun-13 10:16:29

My periods started at ridiculously heavy and painful levels (to the point I'd vomit and pass out from period pains). I just won't be relying on the school to sort it out and do the educating (knowing I started mine very early in Y7, I'm working on the assumption that late on in Y6 might well be TOO late for "the talk") or providing with sample packs anyway.

As for everyone knowing what the drawstring bag is - was the tampax plastic flip top box thing when we were kids.

And I thought the only point of school sanitary protection sample packs were for the tampons to be slung over the branches of every local tree like some kind of strange Xmas bauble anyway?! Added bonus points for immaturity if you got busy with a red felt pen before doing so! Or is that just the local schools near us?

I'm surprised that so many schools leave it as late as year 6! The county where I teach covers puberty in detail in year 5. I teach year 4 and have 2 girls in my class who are already visibly developing.

My own DD was in a crop-top bra and shaving her armpits in year 4. She started her periods in year 6. There are usually one or two in any year 6 class. My DD had an extra pencil case in her school bag from yr 5 onwards that had spare pants, a travel pack of wipes and several slimline towels.

She's now yr7 and has just switched to Lillets teen-sized tampons, which are fabulous.

valiumredhead Tue 18-Jun-13 12:16:19

Girls have the talk in yr 5 at ds's school and the boys slightly cover it in yr 6 but properly in yr 7.

I'm not sure what your problem is - your DD was given samples which aren't as well-suited to her lifestyle or preferences as other products that are available. Presumably you are free to go and purchase the preferred brands/sizes/varieties for her and don't need to wait to be given free samples?

The fact that the freebies are unsuitable are neither here nor there - they will be suitable for someone, and if they're not, there is always the bin and Superdrug.

The end of mrsminiverscharladys reply made me <boak>. Seriously?!

VonHerrBurton Wed 19-Jun-13 11:02:53

Dance Moms! Loved it! Gutted the series has finished, roll on series 2! Miss Abbie, what a ledge! Hilarious.

Sorry, totally unrelated! As you were.

Picturesinthefirelight Wed 19-Jun-13 11:21:10

Am a dance moms addict too in a masochistic kind of way

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