Creepy trespassing magical fucking fairies

(62 Posts)
Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 07:02:57

Our property has no front fences between it and the neighbours on each side. Consequently we are all able to enter one another's property, chat between them, etc. Both neighbours, to our left and right, are single women with grown children. I have a very cordial relationship with one, and we will stop and chat if we are both in our front gardens. I find the other one more difficult, just because I think she's nosy and a gossip, but there is no enmity, I just tend to keep a distance. None of us actually ever come into each others garden, although it is possible to do so its not our norm.

DD1 is four, and will happily talk the ear off either of them.

Yesterday DD1 went into her little playhouse, which sits on our front deck, and came back excited that fairies had left her a present. A fairy book, and a sparkly little purse. So she took them with her - we were on our way out - and we talked about leaving the fairies a thank you note. She got home late and tired, so we tabled it to today.

This morning she gets up, checks the cubbyhouse, there's a fairy figurine. We go out again. On our return two hours later there's another little purse, filled with beads and kids jewelry.

I don't like this at all. I think its nosy neighbour, and I think its way out of line to be coming onto my property, setting up expectations in my kid without checking with me or DH,and she is obviously monitoring our movements since she knew we were out this morning (we do have to drive past her window, to be fair). DH thinks its sweet, I want it to stop.

HollyBerryBush Sun 16-Jun-13 07:07:46

I think it's sweet too.

Some people just like to do kind things, make a child smile, encourage their imaginative side.

A thank you card is a lovely idea too.

Let her be a child and indulge in fairies and other stuff. Plenty of time ahead of her to grow up far too quickly.

dontmeanto Sun 16-Jun-13 07:08:38

I would've loved it as a kid!

ClaireDeTamble Sun 16-Jun-13 07:11:31

Oh, that's lovely. Would you object so much if you thought it was the neighbour you get on with?

Agree the thank you card is a great idea. Let your daughter enjoy the magic.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 07:20:39

I would find it intrusive either way, I think. Once was sweet, three times in two days feels too much. Honestly, I'm just a curmudgeon?

No problem letting her believe in fairies, Holly, not sure how you got to there.

saintmerryweather Sun 16-Jun-13 07:24:04

i think i would find it a bit much to do it that often too. its you who will have yo deal with your dds disappointment when the neighbour is bored and theres nothing out there after being showered with gifts

frikonastick Sun 16-Jun-13 07:33:04

It's weird. Not lovely. If it was someone who had a close relationship with you and DD it would be different. If she had asked you first, it would be different. And not asking first implies she knew you would say no, but wants to anyway. Which is shitty behaviour. I would be annoyed too.

OrangeFireandGoldashes Sun 16-Jun-13 07:35:18

While I think leaving an occasional gift "from the fairies" is a sweet and generous idea, I think doing it three times in two days is 1) a little bit full-on, especially if it's happening every time you go out because it has undertones of creepy stalker-ish "I've been waaaaaatching you" and 2) to suddenly start doing it so that your daughter now finds something every time she goes to that part of the garden means the first time the neighbour can't or doesn't leave a present, your daughter is going to be disappointed and think that the fairies don't love her anymore or similar - and you're the one left to deal with that disappointment.

So nice idea in theory but not thought through by the neighbour. I'd be tempted to get your daughter to write the thank you letter, then in a day or two's time, have a chat with the neighbour - in a friendly way, not an ungrateful "stop leaving my daughter presents you freak" way, but tactfully asking them to ease up on the frequency a bit.

HaPPy8 Sun 16-Jun-13 07:43:40

Oh I think its lovely! If it went on for days and days I could understand your point but a few times in 2 days I wouldn't worry about. I would have LOVED it as a child.

averywoomummy Sun 16-Jun-13 07:49:07

I think it's quite a sweet idea. You say the neighbour has grown up kids so maybe she thought it was a nice way to pass on some of her childrens old toys to your daughter.

Agree though that once or twice would probably be enough. Maybe you could go round and see the neighbour and thank her for the gifts and just say something along the lines of you are really grateful but don't want DD to end up with too much stuff so ask her if she could limit the ammount of times she puts stuff in or ask that she checks with you first?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 08:09:11

I don't know if this makes a difference, I may well be more territorial than most people, but this isn't a cubbyhouse at the end of a large meadow, or rambling grounds, or anything. Its a metre from my front door, on a small deck.

ZillionChocolate Sun 16-Jun-13 08:11:21

Slightly ill judged, but well intentioned I would have thought. It's harmless and your daughter is happy, just accept it!

Hissy Sun 16-Jun-13 08:16:31

I would personally go and find out who did it's, and thank them warmly but say that it really was too much and that you didn't want the presents to become expected. One in a blu moon is fine, but like this? Too much, too soon.

JoyMachine Sun 16-Jun-13 08:20:52

Maybe 'gossip neighbour' only gossips because she's so lonely? sad
Whoever has done it was trying to do a kind thing I think- I mean what an amazing surprise for your daughter!

HerrenaHarridan Sun 16-Jun-13 08:21:47

I think it's a a lovely idea but no way should she have done that without checking with you first.

Would you have said no? Unlikely IMO

There are a whole list of reasons why she should have checked first both mundane and more serious

McNewPants2013 Sun 16-Jun-13 08:26:59

I do think it is a lovely thing to do, but what happens when the fairies no longer visit.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 08:30:37

JoyMachine, her kids visit regularly, she's not old and frail or anything, she has a job and friends.

I agree its well intentioned. But I feel invaded.

amigababy Sun 16-Jun-13 08:34:59

can an appropriate message be left. in the cubbyhouse for the "fairies " next visit?

jendot Sun 16-Jun-13 09:05:05

What a totally lovely idea smile what a funny world we live in where someone would be upset by someone doing something so sweet. You already said your dc talks to the neighbour happily so she probably feels she 'knows' them. If here kids are 'grown up' not only does she prob miss having little ones around but she is presumably of the generation above us where the 'street' parented the child. It was very common in my childhood for kids and parents to be in and out of each others houses, feeding each others kids etc. Neighbour probably should have popped round and checked with you about coming into your part of the garden..but really? I would find this lovely, kind and funny and would be delighted that someone was taking an interest in my dc

quoteunquote Sun 16-Jun-13 09:23:12

oh that is so magical and kind, what a lovely thing to do,

Invite both neighbour round for a cup of tea and cake, so they can hear from DD, about the fairies, share the joy.

But I feel invaded

Try to enjoy this invasion, as it is wonderful, if you make a few efforts back then it won't feel so difficult.

MadeOfStarDust Sun 16-Jun-13 09:37:52

love the fact everyone presumes it is a woman doing it - maybe wouldn't see it as quite so sweet if it was a bloke who is starting his "grooming" by leaving presents for little kids........... creepy......

dopeysheep Sun 16-Jun-13 09:43:49

Have you considered that it might be actual fairies?

Moxiegirl Sun 16-Jun-13 09:45:40

Sounds fucking creepy to me! shock

ChaosCatt Sun 16-Jun-13 09:47:15

I think it's sweet Made, don't see paedos everywhere! Grooming is normally done when they know who it is so that the paedo can gain acceptance. My only worry is what will DD say when it ends? As a grown up how magical it would be if fairies left me gifts! xx

MNEdBlackpoolWiganandSalford Sun 16-Jun-13 09:49:24

I think it is lovely and if I knew the people doing it well or knew for definate who it was I would be ok with it.
However for someone to do it and not mention anything at all even in a quiet word to you and you not know who it is, is a bit weird.

I can only presume dd has been telling them something about loving fairies?

I had a funny incident the other day with dd and fairies, she is 10 but has sen and on holiday all these insects started slowly flying up out of the hedges, hundreds of them and she gasped and shouted "mummmm fairies!!!" It was lovely to see a hint of childhood in there still!

Lavenderhoney Sun 16-Jun-13 09:53:21

I would pop round to the neighbours and say " is it you leaving my dd little presents? " and if its them say thank you but she is expecting gifts now, so maybe a little card from the fairies saying they are going now but thanks for the loan of the house"

If its neither of them and no one knows who it is, could you watch the house to see who it is?

jendot Sun 16-Jun-13 09:55:23

I wouldn't think it creepy if it was a bloke doing it.....not all men are peados you know? What a stupid comment......

Dackyduddles Sun 16-Jun-13 09:58:15

It's very cute.

It's also potentially grooming.

I have no advice just a small knot of fear over this one....

ChewingOnLifesGristle Sun 16-Jun-13 10:04:36

Ah once or twice is nicesmile

All the time would be ott confused But it hasn't reached 'all the time' proportions, so still well within that's a sweet thing to do range.

I'd prefer to fence off my own bit of garden though, if that were me.

Fakebook Sun 16-Jun-13 10:05:50

It's very cute.

It's also potentially grooming.

Wtf? What a shit world we live in, where kind and generous actions are thought of as something evil and sinister.

I think it's sweet too OP, and my dd would have loved something like this. I tell her that fairies live in flowers and she believes me.

BrawToken Sun 16-Jun-13 10:11:31

As my dd would say, I would be on it like car bonnet. This is not ok or sane behaviour. If she wanted to do this, the least she could do is ask you first. I think it is very weird and am amazed how any folk think it is ok.

Dancergirl Sun 16-Jun-13 10:16:03

I can't believe the responses on this thread shock

You have to ASK PERMISSION before leaving a child a (non edible) treat??

This could be GROOMING??

How lovely and how lucky you are OP to have neighbours who want to be friends with your Dd and want to be kind to her. If you think she's nosy and a gossip, that's YOUR problem.

So what if she's coming in to your property, she's not doing any harm is she? I don't imagine it's very far onto your property.

FFS, you'll be saying you have on of those 'no turning' signs on your driveway next.

I really don't see the problem here unless you are so controlling your dd can only talk to/engage with people YOU say are ok.

ChewingOnLifesGristle Sun 16-Jun-13 10:18:41

'she is obviously monitoring our movements since she knew we were out this morning'

Is she? Really?? What with binoculars and a spreadsheet.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 16-Jun-13 10:19:09

Op yanbu. It was a possibly sweet thing to do. Once. Over and over it becomes intrusive,overbearing and , yes, creepy that she is watching your movements!
I have an older neighbour who occasinally drops by a pair of gloves for DS in the winter, and once brought him some Lucozade when he was poorly, but she comes to the door, she chats to me. She doesn't creep by and leave things with notes for him.
Come to think of it, that would make me ragey..
Leave a note for the fairies, asking them to please check with you before coming onto your property and leaving presents for your child.

MadeOfStarDust Sun 16-Jun-13 10:19:46

You would honestly find nothing wrong with a grown man sneaking into someone's garden, into a little girl's playhouse and leaving her presents.

The op does not KNOW for certain it is a "nice" neighbour... yes I would find it creepy...

500internalerror Sun 16-Jun-13 10:22:36

I'd pretend to be out, then watch the playhouse through the blinds. Just to make sure it's the neighbour.

If it was a close friend, they would mention it to me not do it on the sly. And if it wasn't a close friend I'd be wondering why they were doing it.

But then, we don't live in a villagey type 'safe' community. So my instinct is to check everything out carefully. A sad sign of the times.

Tweasels Sun 16-Jun-13 10:23:48

Fairies are paedophiles? Who knew.

ChewingOnLifesGristle Sun 16-Jun-13 10:23:54

I thought it was a woman....confused

500internalerror Sun 16-Jun-13 10:24:42

Like others have said, it's the frequency that's disturbing - once is sweet, if its from a well meaning neighbour. 3 times in rapid succession is definitely OTT.

MrsHoarder Sun 16-Jun-13 10:28:14

I thought grooming as well. If your dd is expecting fairs then out would be much easier to tempt her into the house/car of whoever is doing it.

Were none of you taught not to take presents from strangers? It removes a boundary and sets an expectation of owing.

Tweasels Sun 16-Jun-13 10:34:39

The OP believes the fairy to be her neighbour.

If it is a stranger that's an entirely different matter.

Why don't you just ask the neighbour if it was her?

Dancergirl Sun 16-Jun-13 10:34:59

sets an expectation

What rubbish! If a child is bought a present by ANYONE, you teach them to be appreciative of that present but not to EXPECT anything else.

This a different thing from accepting a present from a stranger. As far as the OPs dd is concerned the presents are from the fairies. The neighbour is hardly likely to say 'by the way OP's dd, did you like the presents I left you?'

This thread is so sad on so many levels.

Tweasels Sun 16-Jun-13 10:38:50

It's the daily mail effect.

Fakebook Sun 16-Jun-13 10:45:53

The person is not a stranger. It's a neighbour who the OP has known for years.

Absolutely ridiculous. The OP is getting her own feelings of the neighbour get in the way of this. She thinks the neighbour is nosey and a gossip. Thinks. It sounds like the neighbour is trying to reach out to the OP trying to show that she's not as cold as she thinks she is. she doesn't sound like a bad person to me at all. She does sound misunderstood.

Stellarpunk Sun 16-Jun-13 10:57:01

Surely it IS an intrusion to enter someone's property without permission.

I would also tend to argue that the frequency is in itself odd. OP, has something, anything changed over the last few days? I find it strange that either neighbour with an established pattern of behaviour suddenly changes it.

I personally would have a chat with the neighbours either side.

Because, what if it isn't them?

Salmotrutta Sun 16-Jun-13 11:06:34

I think I'd definitely be wanting to establish who did it.

Neighbour you know - quite sweet but maybe too much in a couple of days.

Someone you don't know - weird and not so sweet.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 16-Jun-13 11:07:46

Dopeysheep, ha!

Its unlikely to be anyone else (than one of the two neighbours) given that a new present appeared after a two hour absence today, I think. Certainly not worrying about peados on every corner!

Fakebook, no I know she's nosy and gossipy, you can't not know that after ten years of living next to someone. There are tales I can tell, but they're not relevant because it might not be her, and I find it intrusive and odd no matter who it is.

She doesn't talk to DD much compared to the other neighbour, really, just very occasionally, so no idea why now. DD likes fairies - I mean, she's four - but they don't really feature in her conversation much.

MrsHoarder Sun 16-Jun-13 11:09:10

Dancergirl I meant in the "as I've given you some sweets, you have to do me a favour" sense, not as a spoilt expectation. IDK its just that sets off alarm bells for me. Most child abuse is by an adult the child knows.

Salmotrutta Sun 16-Jun-13 11:10:04

Why do you think it's Nosey Neighbour and not Other Neighbour?

KinkyDorito Sun 16-Jun-13 11:14:09

I'm with dopey, sounds like real fairies to me. If it was with my DC, I'd see if they fancied sorting the garden whilst they were at it. Do fairies have lawnmowers?

cheerfulweather Sun 16-Jun-13 11:14:28

I've seen 'grooming' mentioned at least twice as a possibility! Really? <shakes head>

OP, at the moment it is sweet, but see how long it continues. And perhaps ask the neighbours to find out who it is.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sun 16-Jun-13 11:14:37

Leave it for now, let DD enjoy it, see how it goes.

If the neighbour was nice it wouldn't bother me, if I didn't like the neighbour I'd probably be a bit annoyed... which just goes to show it's not the act itself that is annoying - just my perception grin

badbride Sun 16-Jun-13 11:30:07

I'm going to go against the majority here and agree with the OP. A mystery person has been waiting for the OP to go out, before going on to her property, and into her child's playhouse to leave gifts, on multiple occasions, without identifying themselves to the OP. In what universe is this anything other than rude, intrusive and creepy behaviour?

Don't get me wrong: I think this would be a lovely thing for a neighbour to do, if she let the OP know she was doing it. At the moment, the poor OP is quite rightly worried as to the identity of the mystery "fairies".

FridaKarlov Sun 16-Jun-13 14:38:01

I think it's a sweet thing to do, but I'd want to
know who it is doing it. Plus its making the OP feel a bit wary and invaded. I think ask the neighbours if it was one of them, and say thanks if it was, and try and see id there's a subtle way to find out what prompted it. If it is the neighbour, chance is age finds your little girl to be charming and wants to do something nice for her, with no sinister intentions.

plieadianpony Sun 16-Jun-13 14:52:01

yes, it's a bit creepy. Once, slightly eccentric and sweet. Twice mmmm. Three times, creepy. I have had bad experience with stalky neighbours so i'm probably not the best person to give an opinion.
Why not leave a little thank you note then if it happens again, next time you go out leave a mouse trap/steaming pile of poo in there? (Obv not when DD is going to go near it!)

ignore that sorry.

trackies Sun 16-Jun-13 15:01:25

I would find that a bit creepy too. Especially if i wasn't sure as to who it is who's leaving it there. One off present and if you know who it's from is ok from a neighbour, but someone leaving stuff in your a playhouse few times in a row over two days is a bit OTT.

Make sure it is one of your neighbours OP.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 16-Jun-13 15:01:37

The "fairies" can't be unaware that the OP is wondering who on earth they are. Maybe as a one-off that wouldn't matter, but three times so quickly, the neighbour surely can't be oblivious that this would be on your mind! That seems rude to me, they should have talked to you first.

Sparklymommy Sun 16-Jun-13 15:02:47

As much as I want to say that this is sweet and yabu, I just can't bring myself to. I think you definitely need to establish who is doing this and if at all possible, why!

If its real fairies, you could make a fortune if you catch one!

badbride Sun 16-Jun-13 15:04:41

Your neighbour doesn't happen to live in a gingerbread house, does she, OP? grin If so, I'd watch out for the individual gifts turning into a trail of fairy tat leading to her oven.

You could try hiding in your house, armed with a pump-action water gun. Works to keep the cats out of my friend's garden, at any rate. Ditto black-pointy-hatted witches.

thegreylady Sun 16-Jun-13 15:20:49

I'd do that blush though I'd probably ask if it was ok.Don't take away the magig.I'd let dd leave a card and include a note with it saying: Dear Friendly Fairy,
Thank you for bringing a little magic into the playhouse but we'd be grateful if it wasn't too frequent as dd will be disappointed if you stop [maybe give us a quick call to let us know so we can avoid too may treats at once].

LadyFlumpalot Sun 16-Jun-13 17:13:08

It might be a good idea to find out for certain of it is one of your neighbours.

If it is one of your neighbours then I think it's a rather lovely thing to do.

If they both deny it and you think they are truthful then that would worry me a little bit to be honest.

ParadiseChick Sun 16-Jun-13 17:37:08

It's a lot weird.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now