AIBU to be surprised that a boy in my 6 year old DD's class........

(143 Posts)
ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 22:15:17

told her that her shortened name, which she likes to be called, is only 1 letter away from a name for a girl's bottom! I am not sure exactly what term he used, but my DD said this. She then went on to say that she didn't know what name he meant.

It is true, when you shorten her name this is the case, I have no problem with this, I don't really mind that someone has said this to her obviously I knew at some point someone would, but I am surprised that it was from a peer when she was just 6.

Her name is Francesca, and she likes to be called Frannie.

AIBU to be surprised by this from a 6 year old boy?

Sirzy Thu 13-Jun-13 22:18:07

I think it's a comment she will encounter many more times in coming years!

At the age of 6 some children will know/understand more than others.

Crikeyblimey Thu 13-Jun-13 22:18:21

He could have heard the term fanny on a US tv programme. It means bottom there.

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 22:22:01

Oh yes I know she will, I was just surprised.

I got the gist that he didn't mean bottom!

treaclesoda Thu 13-Jun-13 22:26:30

I once heard a mother explain to her 3 year old that her new baby sister would come out of mummy's fanny, so sadly nothing surprises me.

ReallyTired Thu 13-Jun-13 22:27:38

Fanny is an abbreviation for Frances. Dick is an abbreviation for Richard.

I'm not surprised that a comment has come from a six year old boy. Six year olds tend to be immature and into toilet humour.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 13-Jun-13 22:29:05

Is fanny a very rude word? I thought it was like willy, a bit crude but ok for children to say.

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 22:30:24

Fair point ReallyTired, I have 2 DDs and a DS but he is only 1, so have not yet experienced 'boy humour'!

honeytea Thu 13-Jun-13 22:31:42

Isn't fanny the matching word to Willy and the word used when talking about female genitalia with small children?

I had to warn my 7 year old sister not to laugh when meeting my ds's niece as her full name is Fanny ( she not from an English speaking country)

mercibucket Thu 13-Jun-13 22:31:50

why would it be surprising? does a 6 year old boy have neither mother nor sisters? or do you mean it is good spelling? is fanny rude where you live? for me, it is the normal word for labia

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 22:31:52

No I don't necessarily think it is rude, but not really a term that I would use with young children.

mercibucket Thu 13-Jun-13 22:33:44

is that a local thing? its what i tell my dd its called, and 'willy' for boys, so i guess the Williams of the world get the same from 6 year old girls

treaclesoda Thu 13-Jun-13 22:34:27

I was always of the understanding that fanny was an extremely rude word - I don't know anyone in real life who uses it, except that one mum, and I know my fair share of people with colourful vocabularies. The day she said it, the room fell silent and everyone shuffled about looking at their feet.

OddBoots Thu 13-Jun-13 22:34:30

It seems to be a regional thing, to me it's a crude word that I wouldn't use with children (or at all really) but on a thread about hat terms people use it came up a lot.

mercibucket Thu 13-Jun-13 22:34:32

am interested now, what do people near you call the 'front bottom'?

Slambang Thu 13-Jun-13 22:36:03

YABU to be surprised because it isn't surprising. This is what 6 year old boys and girls find funny.

It gets worse...

tapdancingelephant Thu 13-Jun-13 22:36:09

Fanny is a very commonly used term in some areas.

I remember recoiling in horror when it was suggested to me (by her teachers) that it was the word used when teaching dc2 body parts (dc2 is disabled, at a SN school, and we get a lot of input into curriculum and how it is taught - thankfully!) Mind you, I couldn't come up with a suitable alternative (I was all for correct anatomical terms, teachers were aiming for 'willy and ?')

So clearly to some it is 'just' a word, bandied about easily, and therefore it is not that shocking that it is known and used by a 6 year old (dc2 was 5 when this was discussed with us)

squeakytoy Thu 13-Jun-13 22:37:38

having read some of the "what do your kids call their privates" threads on here, it doesnt surprise me in the least that a child would know that word and the meaning of it..

Spikeytree Thu 13-Jun-13 22:38:19

Fanny is really rude here (in deepest, darkest N.West England).

treaclesoda Thu 13-Jun-13 22:38:20

Yeah, maybe its regional. It would definitely be considered very offensive round here.

honeytea Thu 13-Jun-13 22:39:56

What do those of you who don't use fanny call female genitalia?

MajesticWhine Thu 13-Jun-13 22:41:06

Fanny is not a horribly rude word. I agree with it being on a par with willy. I don't have much experience of 6 year old boys, but I don't think it is all that surprising.

curlew Thu 13-Jun-13 22:41:12

Fanny's not a particularly rude word. And if you have a name that shortens to it then I'm afraid you have to deal with it- in the same way that Williams have to deal with Willy, amd Minnies with Minnie. And my children witht h part of their last name that is one letter away from a rude word.

Which bit were you surprised by, him knowing the word, being able to spell well enough to see the connection or him telling her?

By the way, it's very important that you're cool about her deciding that she wants to use a different shortening of her name- luckily she's to several choices.

Spikeytree Thu 13-Jun-13 22:42:14


Frawli Thu 13-Jun-13 22:43:39

I wouldn't be surprised to her a child say it, but I wouldn't teach it to a child as the chosen phrase for it, bit crude. Popular choices here (south wales) seem to be foo, minnie, girl bits, that sort of thing.

Euphemia Thu 13-Jun-13 22:43:47

I had a six year-old come up to me today and say "Mrs Euphemia, listen to this song I made up. Chinese, Japanese, look at these." (He pulled out his jumper to indicate breasts.) hmm grin

Sounds like six year-old humour to me.

Perhaps fanny is the word used at home for female genitalia?

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 22:43:48

Yes you see I am not now and don't that I will in the future, be surprised by a whole host of other words, it is just this at this age. It really is not a word I ever use.

And thinking about it, as my DD didn't seem upset really at being told this, I guess perhaps it was presented to her in very matter of fact way rather than a terrible insult.

IsThisAGoodIdea Thu 13-Jun-13 22:43:51

I would consider fanny to be on a par with a boy calling his penis a cock or nob.

teatimesthree Thu 13-Jun-13 22:44:10

I love the name Franny.

teatimesthree Thu 13-Jun-13 22:45:01

Euphemia grin

I think fanny is neutral, not rude. We used it as kids.

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 22:47:02

OMG it has just clicked that his name is William!!!!!!

Perhaps he was trying to join forces!

Startail Thu 13-Jun-13 22:51:57

Not rude in the States, America Amazon site happily lists bum bags as Fanny packs.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 13-Jun-13 22:53:20

Full marks to him for phonological awareness though!

Fanny is just as innocuous as willy.

honeytea Thu 13-Jun-13 22:55:30

I don't think fanny is rude because it isn't used as an insult. So where as you get people who say you cunt or fucking cock you don't hear fucking fanny ( or Willy) as an insult so it is ok to teach kids to refer to their genitalia by those terms.

If I was looking after a child and they told me they had pain/itch in their woo/Minnie I wouldn't know what theywere talking about. It seems unfair that boys have Willy as an acceptable word for their genitals but girls have no generally accepted word and sometimes are told anatomically incorrect names ( front bottom??)

TheYamiOfYawn Thu 13-Jun-13 22:56:37

Fanny seems pretty mild to me, the sort of word you would use with children. It was the term my midwives used, too.

curlew Thu 13-Jun-13 22:56:48

Amused that fanny is rude but Minnie isn't. As my mum used to say "Who makes these rules?"

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Thu 13-Jun-13 22:57:57

Fanny isn't as innocuous as willy in most places - only some. Around here is certainly isn't! It is definitely considered crude. However, I fully understand that it's the accepted term in many places and if a non local child said it I'd assume they were from somewhere it was common useage <shrug>

Spikeytree Thu 13-Jun-13 22:58:00

Using the term 'fanny' in relation to female genitalia would get you in trouble in the school I work in. Same as saying 'cock' would if you were not talking about a chicken. It is considered just one step down from cunt here.

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 22:58:16

I agree names such as woo/Minnie I find a little odd, but actually I think front bottom is ok, is a least factual, it is not your bottom at the back, but in front of it.

Spikeytree Thu 13-Jun-13 22:59:55

honeytea, fanny is used as an insult here 'you're a right fucking fanny' etc, just as cock is.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 13-Jun-13 22:59:59

So what is the girls' equivalent of willy round your way?

Euphemia Thu 13-Jun-13 23:01:23
treaclesoda Thu 13-Jun-13 23:01:52

I do think its unfair that willy is a harmless, innocuous term, generally considered fairly inoffensive (although I do know people who would find that offensive too) and that there is no equivalent for little girls. I have never given a nickname to DD's genitals, just taught her the correct term, whereas for DS, we do use the term willy.

But this thread has been interesting for me, because I didn't know that fanny was a generally accepted, inoffensive word. Because a six year old using the word fanny round here would be treated much the same as a six year old using the word cunt - with horror. Anything American where the word fanny is used for 'bum' is generally greeted by children with nervous giggling, because they can't believe that anyone is allowed to say that word grin

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 23:01:52

I'm not sure there is an equivalent to willy necessarily, I have to say it not really a topic that I spend much time discussing.

Clawdy Thu 13-Jun-13 23:02:24

There have been endless threads on MN about names for female genitalia! This is turning into another one.

Pantone363 Thu 13-Jun-13 23:03:39

Fanny is fine here, SE England.

My DC use vagina, I hate vulva!

quoteunquote Thu 13-Jun-13 23:03:57

I know a few people who are called Fanny, I also know some called Gay.

In the USA, fanny just means bottom,fanny pack

of walmart fame

MrsReiver Thu 13-Jun-13 23:04:44

you don't hear fucking fanny

Here (Central Scotland) you do. I would be really shocked to hear a 6 year old use "fanny" - as others have said it's on park with "cock" or "knob."

Spikeytree Thu 13-Jun-13 23:04:46

We just say vulva and penis generally.

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 23:04:49

Yes treaclesoda I agree, I too did not know that it was an accepted inoffensive word.

I am not shocked to hear it in a precious way, just surprised.

It was something that was discussed when her name was chosen.

FantasticDay Thu 13-Jun-13 23:05:36

It's the word we use. I thought it was the standard equivalent to Willy. Non-offensive,.but non-ambiguous too.

Spikeytree Thu 13-Jun-13 23:07:26

When I had to teach year 9 about the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry during WW1 there were gasps and lots of 'Miss, that is so rude!' when I said they were known as the FANY.

treaclesoda Thu 13-Jun-13 23:08:06

well, with regard to genitalia in general (!) my parents would never even have allowed the word willy to be used in our house, growing up. In fact, genitals didn't exist in our house, not even in their medically correct form

As a teenager, I was grounded for weeks because my mum went through my schoolbag and found a note that another girl in my class had put in there, referring to a boy in the class having been 'kicked in the balls'. My parents sat me down and told me they were utterly ashamed that a child of theirs would be so disgusting as to refer to that part of a boy's body at all, and particularly in such a crude way.

I am well aware that my upbringing was probably somewhat abnormal in this respect, so it makes me very concious of trying to make things a bit more 'normal' for my own DC.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 13-Jun-13 23:08:11

I think it's very important that girls have a name for their genitalia that is friendly and hasn't been hijacked to be offensive. Boys have Willy. Fanny is a good equivalent except that it means arse in America and it seems to be offensive in parts of the UK (facepalm) Medical terms are ok but rather cold. There's nothing playful or affectionate in the word vagina. One of the best things about MN for me is that it finally gave me the word I was looking for - fanjo.

Euphemia Thu 13-Jun-13 23:08:46

I was teaching parts of the body to P2 children last year and I asked them what they call the part of a boy's body that he uses to pee.

"That's yer boab," said one wee lad, all serious-like. grin

Little kids don't use these words to cause offence, generally: they repeat names they've heard at home.

honeytea Thu 13-Jun-13 23:09:45

I had no idea fanny was used as an insult, you learn a new thing everyday! I did grow up in the middle of nowhere and first heard the word cunt at university (I had to ask what it ment, I was very embarrassed) so I am no genital bassed insult specialist ;)

treaclesoda Thu 13-Jun-13 23:10:24

genital based insult specialist grin grin

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 13-Jun-13 23:10:50

Arf @Honeytea

Euphemia beat me to it with the link to the Irn Bru advert. It's used in an affectionate way here (west central Scotland) "I'm such a fanny - I forgot my keys", for example.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 13-Jun-13 23:13:39

Anyway OP, your DD got off lightly. Spare some sympathy for poor Shiloah when they start playing phonological awareness games at his school.grin

Euphemia Thu 13-Jun-13 23:19:38

Fanny can also be a verb: "Agent, stop fannying about and lock the bloody door!" smile

ComposHat Thu 13-Jun-13 23:19:39

"That's yer boab," said one wee lad, all serious-like

My second favourite Scottish slang word for the male member, second only to Podger.

honeytea did you really get to the age of 18 without hearing or even being aware of the word cunt? Where did you grow up? A Merchant Ivory film?

It was considered a term of endearment where I grew up 'How are you, you big daft cunt?' that sort of thing.

goodasgold Thu 13-Jun-13 23:22:46

I always say that I've sat on my big fat fanny and done nothing.

But I love all Fran staring names and can see the difference.

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 23:26:18

Oh yes I have been known to say 'stop fannying about'.

honeytea Thu 13-Jun-13 23:27:11

It was in the 3rd year that I first heard the word cunt so I would have

honeytea Thu 13-Jun-13 23:27:32

.... Been

honeytea Thu 13-Jun-13 23:28:04

20 (stupid phone!)

defineme Thu 13-Jun-13 23:31:16

I'm don't mean to be rude, but I read the op and then sat here wondering what on earth the name could be that was 1 letter away from c**t?

My dm is 65 and has been known to tell my kids to stop fannying about and get their shoes on. We're originally from the North East and I'm now really hoping that I haven't offended anyone by mistake!

UniS Thu 13-Jun-13 23:34:49

Not surprised at all. 6 year old boys ( and girls and 8/9/10 years too) LIKE bum jokes, fart jokes and rude words, had you not noticed?

CalamityGin Thu 13-Jun-13 23:37:50

he's just being 6, it's all bum wee poo fart willy etc and really he's quite clever isn't he? bet there aren't too many 6 year olds who are that good at removing a letter from a word to make another word.


ComposHat Thu 13-Jun-13 23:46:50

honeytea 20 that is incedible! Do you mind me asking when/where was this?

I grew up in a mining town in the 80s and it was the building block of most sentences! I vividly remember being on a packed bus and the driver going past an old lady at the bus stop and you could see her mouth 'you cunt' at him.

ThoughtsPlease Thu 13-Jun-13 23:49:56

But that is my point, I wouldn't class the word fanny with bum, wee and poo etc.

As an aside I'm not sure it is all that clever really, if you say both words I am sure most young children with a few years phonics experience could see that.

I thought a cunt was a baby horse until I was 12, I thought I'd had a sheltered life.

iamadoozermum Fri 14-Jun-13 00:03:39

One of my favourite fanny comedy sketches of all time: . Personally, I was brought up thinking that fanny was very, very rude which might be why this sketch stood out so much for me!

DH has just shouted down to me 'what you laughing at?'

Roaring at not knowing what name was one letter away from cunt, and cunt being a baby horse grin

IsThisAGoodIdea Fri 14-Jun-13 00:16:12

TheYamiofYawn, your midwife used the word fanny? shockshockshock

It's really news to me that people use fanny around children. It was definitely a rude term where I grew up.

I'm also with the poster who never heard the word cunt growing up - me neither. I'm from a pretty big northern city too, went to a co-ed comp, wasn't home educated in the Hebrides. How did this word pass me by?

MamaChubbyLegs Fri 14-Jun-13 00:17:46

When I was little, it was either "minnie" or "bits and pieces" (wtf mum?). "Fanny" was a bit ruder than minnie. Fanny is one of my favourite words! It's much better than:

"Lady garden" fuckoff my DP says this sad
"Front bottom" - just makes fannies sound dirty, and they're not.

I knew a lady from the carribean who's polite version was "pussy" and I had a friend who called it her "Dinah"

ComposHat Fri 14-Jun-13 00:23:44

iamadoozer I knoew it would be that sketch before I even clicked on it. I love the way he drops his bottle of juice and they are stood there until nightfall.

Roaring at not knowing what name was one letter away from cunt

I was thiniking CLINT written in capitals.

It reminds me of my favourite showbiz stories. The actress Diana Dors, whose real name was Diana Fluck, returned to her home town of Swindon to open her local church fete. Upon discovering her real name, the vicar was extremely nervous about mispronouncing her name when he announced her.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you our star guest. We all love her, especially as she is our local girl. I therefore feel it right to introduce her by her real name; Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the very lovely Miss Diana Clunt.’

Justfornowitwilldo Fri 14-Jun-13 00:25:46

It is a little milder than pussy but on those lines.

LondonBus Fri 14-Jun-13 00:31:06

Now, I would class fanny with wee, poo, bum, willy and knickers.

All of those words would have my mother all a dither, though.

LondonBus Fri 14-Jun-13 00:31:41

Pussy, however, is very rude! shock grin

BegoniaBampot Fri 14-Jun-13 00:37:20

When and where I grew up fanny was rude. Sort of on a par wit pussy and beaver and just a little less offensive than cunt. Your mum would have given you a slap for saying fanny. All the local boys used to love shouting 'show us yer fanny' or beaver. Ah, memories.

MrRected Fri 14-Jun-13 00:37:27

A fanny is not a girls bottom. Or are we still calling vagina/vulva a front bottom?

Feel for you OP - your DD will encounter more of this as she gets old, I am sure. FWIW - I love the name Francesca and the nn Frannie (very cute).

She'll just need to learn to roll with it and shrug it off. My DD calls her vagina a fanny - so my boys hear it all the time. It's not considered rude, it's just what it is.

LittleFeileFooFoo Fri 14-Jun-13 00:43:21

When I was less than 6 I asked my neighbor "since his name was Dick, could we also call him Penis?"
So no, I'm not surprised a kid would figure this out.

honeytea Fri 14-Jun-13 08:04:09

I grew up in Devon in the 80s/90s.

My best friends mum called me fanny-Anne as a term of endearment, my name sounds nothing like fanny or Anne.

Maybe noting happens in Devon that makes you angry enough to say cunt.

I live opposite Fanny Street.
That is not a lie smile Lord somebody a hundred and fifty years ago had a daughter called Fanny and named a street after her.

A friend who worked as a carer was told by a white haired, sweet, frail 90 year old in the Welsh valleys when she was helping her to the toilet that she had a
"sore twat"
my friend was a tad shocked smile.

barnet Fri 14-Jun-13 08:19:30

We use fanny as the girl's equivalent of willy

MidniteScribbler Fri 14-Jun-13 08:20:54

I had a six year-old come up to me today and say "Mrs Euphemia, listen to this song I made up. Chinese, Japanese, look at these." (He pulled out his jumper to indicate breasts.)

We used to have that in primary school except it was "Chinese, Japanese, Punch your knees (where you would hit yourself on the legs), What are these?"

The alternative was "Chinese, Japanese, Punch your knees, money please" and putting your hand out asking for money from your parents.

I never did understand the hitting yourself in the leg part.

Ahhhh, childhood.

MisguidedAngel Fri 14-Jun-13 08:26:43

Anybody heard "quim" used for female genitalia? I heard it once many years ago, and recently in a book by Barbara Trapido. My children used the correct anatomical terms thus shocking nearly everyone we knew.

jendot Fri 14-Jun-13 08:27:22

Fanny is fine here, like saying willy. I would not be surprised or offended in any way if a child said it. We are in the south easet. We live in a 'naice' area if that makes a difference?

Kikithecat Fri 14-Jun-13 08:33:06

My MIL calls it her 'petite soeur'.

BegoniaBampot Fri 14-Jun-13 08:34:28

Well just beware where you say fanny then. It definitely isn't acceptable everywhere and is just a step down form cunt where I come from.

Fanny is on a par with knob/ dick. I hate the word. (Not cos I'm a prude, its just a gross word)
I wouldn't like my child to use it.

SpanishFly Fri 14-Jun-13 08:39:03

West of Scotland - fanny is absolutely an insult and it'd be very very shocking to hear a 6yo say it. "Ya fucking fanny" is generally the way it's said here.
Ive got 2 boys so have no idea what girls call theirs in general but my friend's dd calls hers her flower hmm That same friend was shocked to hear my then 5yo say his penis was a bit sore. "He calls it a penis?!!!!" Um yes, thats what it's called.

BegoniaBampot Fri 14-Jun-13 08:52:02

My 6y r old was very fond of vagina at one pont and liked to say it loudly at times. They also have been known to shout 'mum, my penis is sore' in the supermarket. It does sound weird and I suspect they're already winding me up.

melika Fri 14-Jun-13 08:53:17

Will for boys, under carriage for girls in my house!

xylem8 Fri 14-Jun-13 09:06:27

In this area fanny is ruder than willy but a long way short of twat.Probably on a par with dick or cock.

NUFC69 Fri 14-Jun-13 09:11:43

I find all this fascinating. I am a GM (65) and the only swear word I use is the occasional "bloody". Tbh, it would never, ever have occurred to me that fanny was a rude word; like PPs have said, it is on a par with willy. The amount of swearing on here shocked me at first, now I just ignore it - so to hear fanny described as "crude" just seems amazing. I can't remember when I first heard the word "c**t" - but probably only in the last twenty years or so. I don't think I ever heard my DF or DM swear. The world has gone mad when fanny is verboten (sp?) and yet the F and C words are normal!

NUFC69 Fri 14-Jun-13 09:13:58

Oh, and it had never occurred to me that the word twat was rude, either! Obviously changing worlds ....

(Interesting that I can't type the F and C words, but have no problem with twat!).

TheYamiOfYawn Fri 14-Jun-13 09:15:39

I think of fanny as being roughly the equivalent of willy - I would feel a bit uncomfortable saying it because it sounds childish rather than because it is rude. I had no idea there was such a big regional difference in the way it is used.

thebody Fri 14-Jun-13 09:19:50

Ew no fanny is rude. Front bottom please.

To be honest op I would be relived it was fanny and not cunt.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 14-Jun-13 09:28:19

We used to say 'Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, what are these?'.

We actually weren't allowed to refer to body parts by any name at home, not even by proper names. Everything was shameful. I said fanny and willy outside of the home from a young age though. My mum still heaves if I say boobs in front of her. I love all these silly names that people rank and dither about grin

miemohrs Fri 14-Jun-13 09:48:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trice Fri 14-Jun-13 09:50:15

Fanny was the female version of willy in our area growing up and was not really rude. It was seen as a babyish was of saying penis and vulva. I am genuinely surprised that in some parts of the country it is rude.

My ds is now 11 and is regularly brought to his knees with laughter at the mention on the news of Ed Balls. And I like the name Dick and think it is a shame that it can't be used these days.

Although I like the name Franny I would never have called a child of mine a name that was so obviously going to be a source if teasing throughout her life. But I was bullied at school so am probably a bit defensive about such things.

Wylye Fri 14-Jun-13 10:04:35

Tis all interesting!
I too didn't hear 'cunt' until Uni, but grew up using 'fanny' for vulva - in the West Country & East Anglia. It was definitely not offensive, it was a child's term like willy or tummy. It was considered naughty/rude to be talking about genitals in the first place, but fanny wasn't rude in itself.

Had nooooo idea fanny was rude in some areas until MN, and by the same token was a bit shock to hear that a lot of northerners used 'twat' affectionately - it was a very very bad word when I was younger.

My MIL was Minnie and I've never heard it used for vulva either! Bloody hell, all these euphemisms piss me off! We need a word! I second the cot for fanjo!

Wylye Fri 14-Jun-13 10:05:05

Cot?? confused vote.

FinickityCoder Fri 14-Jun-13 10:13:05

It was always a Mary here. Fanny is considered crude and not for children round these parts.

mrsjay Fri 14-Jun-13 10:18:42

TBh he is 6 and they think boobies and bums are hilarious, somebody in his life uses the word fanny and he has picked up on it, tbh I think your dd will be teased a lot because of her shortened name it will get worse as she grows older, there is nothing wrong with the shortened version of her name but kids pick up on things and will think it is hilarious to tease her

ThoughtsPlease Fri 14-Jun-13 10:20:11

I don't actually think that it is a problem that her shortened name for now is Frannie. Her name is Francesca, she may like to be known as that or Fran when she is older.

I was obviously well aware that this would happen at some point and as I have said I don't think it is a problem, she wasn't upset.

I was just surprised at the comment from a 6 year old, but it seems clear now that the word fanny is viewed very differently by people.

So next question, do I say nothing to her, she does not know the word fanny, and wait and see if he continues to say it, then explain to her. I would say it isn't her name so it is not really relevant that it is one letter away, it is a different word for a part of the body, but not a very nice word to use.

mrsjay Fri 14-Jun-13 10:24:36

just say to her oh isn't he just silly saying that to you and you have no idea what he is talking about as he is just being silly
. I heard 2 little lads call each other fanny the other day, it is used round here as you are a fanny (idiot)

ThoughtsPlease Fri 14-Jun-13 10:29:22

mrsjay so what about the names William and Richard, have all these men had tormented lives because of their names?! confused

Kids will tease other kids about all sorts of stuff, it is a perfectly normal name, and given her 'character' I could see her thinking how stupid and still wishing to be called Frannie!

mrsjay Fri 14-Jun-13 10:34:09

I dont think you DD deserves to be teased all I mentioned was some kids could pick up on it I didnt mean to upset you , and Id imagine willie and dick is hilarious to some kids, I am sorry again I honestly didnt want to upset you

ThoughtsPlease Fri 14-Jun-13 10:36:33

mrsjay I wouldn't want to say that I didn't know what he was talking about, if it keeps coming up I will explain. I meant more should I leave it for now until it does come up again, which actually yes I now think is the right way to go.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Fri 14-Jun-13 10:38:26

I'd say 'yes, some people do call it a fanny, but I'm not keen on that word', if you're not.

curlew Fri 14-Jun-13 10:45:48

"So next question, do I say nothing to her, she does not know the word fanny, and wait and see if he continues to say it, then explain to her. I would say it isn't her name so it is not really relevant that it is one letter away, it is a different word for a part of the body, but not a very nice word to use."

OK. My children have a hyphenated last name- one element of which is one letter away from a vaguely sexual word. DP has had people being "funny" about it all his life. What we did was as soon as they and their classmates became aware of the word, we said "yes, that will happen- and it is absolutely fine if at any stage you want to quietly drop that part of your name. Nobody will mind- and you can always pick it up again at any time you want to" We made this point particularly strongly when they started Secondary school. So far they have both decided to keep the name. If I were you I would explain to your dd, and give her th chance to change her name to another shortening if she wants to. Obviously she shouldn't have to and it would be fab if she could cheerfully "power through it". But give her the information, offer her an alternative, and let her decide.

SillyTilly123 Fri 14-Jun-13 10:46:29

Here in the North East Fanny is a naughty word. When I was small my mam used to call it my fairy or Mary (or sometimes fairy mary) I just call it front bum to my dds as they love fairies (the mythical kind) so dont want to confuse them.

I'm originally from the North East, and fanny would be considered crude, on a par with "dick". I don't think we had an equivalent to willy which I wouldn't have been allowed to say at home, either - I suppose girl's bits didn't really get spoken about. At home it was referred to, if at all, by "front bit", which I consider to be less irritating than "front bottom". Interestingly, "fannying about" wouldn't be considered crude.

Now I prefer my DSs to refer to their genitals as penis/testicles or, at a push, "bits". I've used "vulva" when asked about girl bits, but knowing DS1 he'll get that mixed up with Volvo. I hate "willy", as it seems...infantile. In a bad way.

DH (West Country) uses fanny. It makes me cringe, even now. It's not a swear word (I love those) it's just...icky.

ThoughtsPlease Fri 14-Jun-13 11:25:52

Haha Mimsy getting vulva and Volvo mixed up!!

ThoughtsPlease Fri 14-Jun-13 11:27:56

curlew yes thank you that sounds a good plan.

mrsjay it's ok I am not upset smile

Wylye Fri 14-Jun-13 11:53:41

I have however heard it called a Mimsy wink

babyru Fri 14-Jun-13 12:29:34

In my part of the world (East Central Scotland), fanny can be used in a number of contexts, and some of them are ok, some of them less so. Generally, you wouldn't expect a 6yo to say it.

I've heard it used/used it:
1) As a term of endearment i.e. calling SIL Fanny-Adams.
2) As an insult "ya f-ing fanny"
3) To call someone/yourself an idiot "God I'm such a fanny..." i.e. for forgetting to do something or something equally daft.
4) As one of the least offensive/non-childish words for your fanny. No one I know calls it a 'lady garden', 'twat' or 'cunt' - the last two are used as insults almost exclusively. Occasionally heard it called a 'foof' and 'front bum', but boys bits can be called a front bum too.

The best thing I've ever heard is that DH used to call fannies "fanners" when he was little, and that's stuck for me when referring to the actual bodily part since I heard the story.

It's all very confusing.

Rainbowdrop8 Fri 14-Jun-13 12:48:36

I was on a flight in America recently when the older lady cabin crew said to a guy "Sorry I just brushed against you with my fanny".

I'm 30 but couldn't hold in the giggles. DH was horrified, he thought he meant vagina grin

AnnaFiveTowns Fri 14-Jun-13 13:57:12

Fanny isn't rude. But "front bottom"? Eww, gross!

happygirl87 Fri 14-Jun-13 14:20:08

IME (South East coast, then London) "fannying around" as a verb is like a slightly more edgy/colloquial version of "faffing about"- I say it a lot to friends, but wouldn't say it to boss/MIL.

My Gran sometimes calls me "Fanny-Adams" affectionately, but amongst younger family members (e.g. parents generation), "sweet FA" or "sweet fanny adams" is a euphimism for "sweet fuck all", a very rude/angry way to say "nothing".

Fanny as a noun to me is very crude, not as rude as c**t, but would only expect to hear it in conversation between teenage boys/men in their early twenties/comedians IME. Often used in derogatory or misogynist way, e.g. a smelly fanny, or a loose fanny. Not a word my friends/DM would use if talking about an area of their own body, and def not a word I would teach a future DD- so really interesting for me to see that so many people have it as the equivalent of "willy"!

HormonalHousewife Fri 14-Jun-13 14:22:15

Gawd - hope its not my son who has just said this blush

ThoughtsPlease Fri 14-Jun-13 14:26:09

Yes happygirl87 while I think it is ok to use it for fannying around etc, as a noun it does seem crude.

This is why I am still not sure whether to just leave it until either the same boy or another child brings it up again and then explain, or actually just explain to her now.

My DDs go to a small village school which is part of the reason why I was surprised to hear this at 6. So it might be that it just gets forgotten for now, especially as she gave no reaction as she had no idea what he meant.

Here, Fanny is another word for idiot.

GingerCurry Fri 14-Jun-13 14:38:55

We call those bits "muffs" and "winks"
And underarms are "smuffs"

? Scottish/London /Welsh roots
Don't really know where they came from but they have stuck in this family.

Justfornowitwilldo Fri 14-Jun-13 14:53:37

It must be down to geography how rude it's considered. Which doesn't really help the OP grin. I'd stick to a simple 'that's not your name' line.

sunshine401 Fri 14-Jun-13 15:04:02

I hate slang for anything it is awful. A child should be taught the proper names, why make up random names for perfectly normal bodies parts. This is why people grow up thinking their parts of their body are rude or something to be embarrassed by....
We have a vagina or a penis thank you grin.

so what about the names William and Richard, have all these men had tormented lives because of their names?!

Most Williams will be shortened to Billy, Will or Bill and most Richards to Rick or Rich. I've not heard of kids being called Dick or Fanny outside of Enid Blyton books.

If I had a Francesca I'd call her Frankie.

curlew Fri 14-Jun-13 15:56:54

Sunshine- it's actually a vulva you've got- not a vagina......

ComposHat Fri 14-Jun-13 15:57:50

*A child should be taught the proper names, why make up random names for perfectly normal bodies parts. This is why people grow up thinking their parts of their body are rude or something to be embarrassed by....
We have a vagina or a penis thank you*

All well and good until they get on the schoolyard. Although I am looking forwarded to telling someone to 'stop Vulvaing about'

IWillDoItInAMinute Fri 14-Jun-13 16:11:25

Boys - willy
Girls-nunny - not sure of spelling
A friend of mine worked for a Jewish family and it was their word. I like it and recently heard Sarah Milligan use it, so not sure if more commonly used up north confused

ThoughtsPlease Fri 14-Jun-13 16:24:17

AKiss my point was that the names William and Richard can be shortened for amusement and teasing to Willy or Dick, not that a parent or child would actually choose to shorten the name to either of these.

In the same way that Francesca is actually shortened to Frannie not Fanny.

Personally I'm not keen on Frankie.

melika Fri 14-Jun-13 17:14:53

Yes ha ha in the US fanny means bum, I found this hilarious when they pointed out DH had a fanny bag. It was a bum bag.

perpetuallypuzzled Fri 14-Jun-13 17:27:22

Sunshine- it's actually a vulva you've got- not a vagina......

to be fair she's probably got both!

Bosgrove Sun 16-Jun-13 17:15:17

I was a very innocent child, I called my first pet Fannie. It was a gold fish which had a beautiful fan like tail. How my parents must have cringed, and even now I hate the porn star name game (you know your porn star name is the name of your first pet and your mothers maiden name)

One of my friends adult daughters is also called Frannie (or Fran or Francesca depending on her mood) so I wouldn't bat an eyelid to see a child with the same name.

sunshine401 Sun 16-Jun-13 18:14:22

lol, I was only saying calm down grin

chillinwithmyyonis Sun 16-Jun-13 19:18:56

I'm from northwest england, and fanny was definitely not a rude word when I was a kid. Actually my mum used it as a term of endearment sometimes, as our neighbour did with 'cock' (though I think it referred to cockerel not willy). And yes to fannying as a verb.

wamabama Sun 16-Jun-13 19:27:19

I wass going to say happygirl my mum always said 'quit fannying about' and she has called me 'Fanny Adams' before too but if you dare use fanny in that way she goes off on one! She's always found it really rude. I remember when I was little my best friend called it that so I copied when I went home and the way my mum reacted was as if i'd said cunt! Some people find it really rude apparently. I guess it is slightly crude.

My mum always said 'todger' for a boys and 'twinkle' for a girls. I use todger now with my DC but I say foo for vagina or foo foo if i'm talking to adults grin. I've heard floo and foof being used also.

I think she'll have to get used to it tbh. I knew a Fran in school who had the same issue until secondary school when everyone grew out of finding it funny.

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