To wish it wasn't "another brilliant report for my dc" season on Facebook?

(52 Posts)
IfIonlyhadsomesleep Thu 13-Jun-13 19:48:04

I know, 1) it's Facebook 2) people are right to be proud of their dc and 3) I don't have to look.
But I've just seen three accounts, one blow by blow, of how brilliantly their dc have done. One with accompanying picture of the cake baked as reward. I just would rather praise my own children, tell our nearest and dearest about their achievements and save Facebook for other aspects of life.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Thu 13-Jun-13 19:57:52

YABU. Everyone uses fb different.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Thu 13-Jun-13 19:58:12

Differently (bloody phone!)

BarbarianMum Thu 13-Jun-13 19:58:16

YABU Facebook is, as far as I can see, exactly for sharing all the trivial drivel of one's personal life, generally with people who couldn't care l

Chottie Thu 13-Jun-13 19:59:01

Let it go, life's too short smile

Nux Thu 13-Jun-13 19:59:40

As far as I can tell, the purpose of Facebook is to be smug on.

Arisbottle Thu 13-Jun-13 20:04:05

Why would you not be happy that your friend's children are doing well?

Isn't that the whole point of FB?

CloudsAndTrees Thu 13-Jun-13 20:06:13

If you would rather do it privately, then that's up to you. Just the same as its up to other people what they do.

As you said, it's Facebook, you don't have to look, and people are just showing pride in their children, which is a good thing! You seem to have glossed over those points, but really, your thoughts should have stopped there.

Heartbrokenmum73 Thu 13-Jun-13 20:06:53

Makes me laugh when relatives whose children are little shits unruly start posting about their wonderful reports and I just think 'you lie!'.

Won't be posting anything smug about DS1 this year - his teacher had to speak to me AGAIN today about his daydreaming and lack of work in class, so I suspect a report full of Cs for effort is on it's way...

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 13-Jun-13 20:06:58

I haven't seen that on my facebook but if a friend did put something like that up, I'd give it a massive 'like' and a well done comment.
Why can't people be proud of their kid's achievements?

What Arisbottle said.

cansu Thu 13-Jun-13 20:07:58

This kind of crap is one of the many reasons I do not want to be on Facebook. Why do people feel that they can put this stuff on Facebook when they wouldn't dream of saying it to anyone?

NynaevesSister Thu 13-Jun-13 20:10:28

I don't mind. It isn't easy to make lists etc and I assume they are putting them up for close friends and relatives, and that everyone else will just skim over. My son has learning issues and I proudly post his achievements too even though they are two years behind his peers.

Lizzylou Thu 13-Jun-13 20:11:48

If Ds2 gets a good report I will get it printed on a T-shirt, perhaps bunting and take an ad out in the local paper.
Fb will just be for starters.

Not likely to happen anyway grin

Thymeout Thu 13-Jun-13 20:12:36

Everyone's proud of their children's achievements.

But when you post it on a social network, it looks like boasting to me.

VivaLeBeaver Thu 13-Jun-13 20:13:47

I agree.

I seriously know someone who goes on FB about five times a year. Each time it is purely to be smug about something their dc has done.

fuck off

Makes me feel a bit shabby but I admit I'm in a foul mood today!

VivaLeBeaver Thu 13-Jun-13 20:14:01

Stabby even.

VivaLeBeaver Thu 13-Jun-13 20:16:17

And part of me thinks like posting something ridiculous on my own status.

Darling X although only in Year 8 has successfully gained 3x a* at gcse and got national curriculum level 22 in all other subjects and has been made school captain for next year. Well done on a time of 15 minutes in the 5000m at sports day. Love you so much I could burst with pride. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ignore it of you don't like it , I posted when kids did well was proud , and then as my DD got to be a teenager most of my status about her were, DD got excluded again, but I only have close friends and family on FB so the support helped if it was bad and if it was good others were happy as well.

Mine are a bit small yet for that kind of posting, But whenever I post a photo of DC or recount something cute or clever they have said, Its for their grandparents and far away relatives to feel like they are a part of their lives not to be smug or boastful.
Am sure most people are the same.

IfIonlyhadsomesleep Thu 13-Jun-13 20:19:08

I suppose it's just that the kind of posts I'm talking about wouldn't pass my filter system which goes along the lines of "will I make so wine who's having a hard day feel worse by posting this?".
I'm really pleased for my friends when their children do well. I tell them so too. Actual conversation allows you to judge the mood and decide whether today's the day to tell them about dd1's piano exam going well, or whether I'd be better making a cuppa and hearing about a tough time their dc is having. They do the same for me no doubt. aharing joys and woes is the bread and butter of proper friendship. Fb is too blunt a tool IMO. This discussion is making me think about it all and work it out a bit.

Chunderella Thu 13-Jun-13 20:21:06

It always seems rather tacky to me.

CloudsAndTrees Thu 13-Jun-13 20:25:06

I get more annoyed with the negative, attention seeking, sob stories on Facebook. I like FB being about nice positive things that make people I like happy.

FB is a blunt tool, but it's not trying to be anything else, it just is what it is. It's the fact that people use it in so many differs ways that can cause problems.

Clouds I agree, I would rather see 'my child got a fab report' than 'I'm feeling sad what's the point of life
'

Nothing is private any more. Everything has to be photographed and shared with everyone.

LynetteScavo Thu 13-Jun-13 20:52:00

Do any school reports actually say a child is a pain in the butt who is under achieving? I doubt it.

I was always so proud that my DS was a lively member of the class, who provided a challenge for his teachers. wink Never posted of FB about it though.

formica5 Thu 13-Jun-13 20:53:30

I don't mind updates at all as all my family and friend use it as thier main means of communication. What I hate is SIL telling DH (probably sat next to her on the sofa) how much she loves him etc. Smacks of insecurity on her part,.

parabelle Thu 13-Jun-13 20:55:32

^If Ds2 gets a good report I will get it printed on a T-shirt, perhaps bunting and take an ad out in the local paper.
Fb will just be for starters.^

Me too with dd2, so not going to happen, was told at parents evening she's not hitting any of her targets. On the other hand, she did draw a lovely picture of a dinosaur today.

AnnaFiveTowns Thu 13-Jun-13 21:00:38

I agree OP, drives me crackers too.

Teachers aren't allowed to write horrible things about kids in school reports anymore (not like when I was young, the things they wrote were shocking) It all has to be positive - which is a good thing - but I wish parents would stop being so smug about it. All school reports now are "good", FFS!

But maybe I'm just a miserable old git.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Thu 13-Jun-13 21:01:15

I am a teacher, and I never write a wholly negative report. One person's "brilliant" is another's "average".

cardibach Thu 13-Jun-13 21:01:54

Why do people feel that they can put this stuff on Facebook when they wouldn't dream of saying it to anyone?
Really cansu? You wouldn't dream of saying to anyone that you were proud of your DC's report? That is a bit odd.
We're back to the same thing I say on just about every facebook thread - it depends on who you have as friends. All my fb friends are actual friends or family who I care about. I care about their children, too, so I am pleased to see that they are doing well. If I had a load of randoms, I'd probably be irritated too. Most people aren't boasting (at least not in a bad way!) just pleased and proud and wanting to share that. It's nice.

A bit of maternal pride is harmless and I think it's actually really important for the dc to know their parents are publicly chuffed with them. My daughters are amazing people. Doesn't hurt anybody if occasionally I publicly say that.

Lizzylou Thu 13-Jun-13 21:44:45

Parabelle, Ds2 is the class clown who distracts everyone. He is in his own world most of the time.
Dh and I are torn between admiring his spirit and nonconformity and despairing that he will never apply himself.
Mostly the former really grin

Chunderella Thu 13-Jun-13 21:59:14

There is a middle ground between depressing and boastful facebook statuses, though. I can't be arsed with either.

BreathingLessons Thu 13-Jun-13 22:02:36

I'm with you OP. I want to comment "I'm scarle' for ya'

adverbial Thu 13-Jun-13 22:58:43

I'm with you too, OP. Bah to the facebook boasters (I don't like the whingers either).

Bah to Facebook most of all, it seems to encourage over-sharing.

Clawdy Thu 13-Jun-13 23:10:48

It's very annoying,and probably shows a bit of neediness in the parent! One friend put on her page: "My face is aching from smiling after all the lovely comments each teacher made about E. tonight!"

I live in another country to my relatives and still have lots of friends in the UK. Facebook is our way of keeping in touch and love seeing pictures and stories of them and their children, it gives us a connection to their lives and them to us.

Hullygully Fri 14-Jun-13 08:57:15

I think it's hilarious.

I love it when people post that stuff, the more gushing the better.

Hullygully Fri 14-Jun-13 08:57:39

Clawdy - that is just superb!

Hullygully Fri 14-Jun-13 08:58:06

Also, they are all shooting themselves in the foot as it just makes everyone gnash their teeth and hate their child.

It's somewhat preferable to lovey dovey text speak statuses when couples living together are talking through Facebook hmm

Yes so in love they sit in silence networking grin

I ignore any I'm not interested in and I'm genuinely pleased for those with the fab reports. I must have boring friends because all I get is pictures of animals being posted. Actual words make a change grin

thebody Fri 14-Jun-13 09:16:06

Well think its funny especially the one friend of mine who has her profile pic as her baby and posts stuff like, ' I hope mummy doesn't keep me waiting for my milk'

Sooo funny, makes me laugh which is a lot better than crying.

LookingThroughTheFog Fri 14-Jun-13 09:17:20

I think it's OK to be proud of your children's achievements. I think the trick is to recognise your child's brilliance in whatever form it takes, and to share that with people.

DS has SEN. Personally, I like that I can say 'DS finally decoded the word 'was'!' and my friends know what a massive achievement that is, and view it equally with another friend who's daughter just got a really good GCSE at 14.

Basically children come with all sorts of different personalities and they'll have all sorts of achievements. I think it's OK to celebrate that.

Wallison Fri 14-Jun-13 09:24:53

Well, I like hearing about my friends' kids and what they're up to, especially the friends from school as we are all so scattered now (to the four winds, literally). And it's nice to see my friends happy about their kids and being all proud of them.

HibiscusIsland Fri 14-Jun-13 09:34:50

YANBU. It's the same as going up to a group of mums on the playground and saying "My Tarquin has done wonderfully. He is gifted and talented and got the top marks in the year in all subjects. So proud etc." I wouldn't do this if I did have a Tarquin. There might be people listening whose kids are struggling and it's boastful and smug. Same thing.

fromparistoberlin Fri 14-Jun-13 09:35:37

your FB friends are bell ends!

VinegarDrinker Fri 14-Jun-13 09:45:37

I'm in two minds. I really try and avoid anything vaguely boastful on FB because I am aware of not coming across as a total twat.

OTOH it is actually one of the main ways we share our news with our "nearest and dearest" - especially those we don't live close to, such as my Dad, Grandad, aunts and uncles.

I probably annoy some friends sometimes with the amount I mention/post pics of DS but I generally have a rule of "I'd rather make my 83 year old Grandad happy and annoy a couple of work friends".

I try and circumvent this a bit by having "lists" for certain status updates/photos but tbh it's easy enough for anyone to hide my updates if they are that annoying.

That's facebook!

MrsDoomsPatterson Fri 14-Jun-13 09:47:49

The more insecure the person, the bigger the boast. I promise.

Yabu, and i prefer this example of postive posting rather than the dreary drown of some i encounter.

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