To want to spend some of this money on myself ?

(77 Posts)
cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 18:33:07

I've just been lucky enough to come into a bit of money ( £2400). I've been out of work for the last 3 yrs and things have been tough. I'm keen to go back to college and the part time course I 'm looking at is about £600. I don't go anywhere or do anything apart from when I'm out with the kids because of money being tight. Dh has a gym membership which I've never complained about as he has suffered from depression on the past and exercise definitely helps his mood. With the rest of the money I wanted to get a week away somewhere and get some things done in the house. Told dh about college and he made a face and said he thinks I'm getting carried away and should hold on. I was raging earlier.....I'm basically a fucking hermit and do very little purely for myself. Am i being selfish to want to spend £600 on myself?

QOD Thu 13-Jun-13 18:33:58

Nope. Do it

Add up his years of gym ...

ARealDame Thu 13-Jun-13 18:35:48

Doing a course when you have a bit of cash sounds wonderful. Splash out on a few things for yourself whilst you're at it. He does sound a bit miserable tbh. Don't let it affect you.

Of course you're it! It's self's hardly pissing it up the wall. I think I'd even say you're entitled to piss some of it up the wall if you so desire grin]

That's supposed to be a grin at the end

mummylin Thu 13-Jun-13 18:43:21

Spend it on your course and enjoy it.its a great opportunity for you

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 18:49:13

Yes more I think about it, it would be silly not to. Not as though I 'm spending it on bloody handbags. And it's something that I've wanted to do for a few years.....

CAF275 Thu 13-Jun-13 18:54:26

I take it he didn't complain about the time away & stuff you want to do to the house? Oh, that's right, HE will benefit from those plans.

Do it. You don't even need to justify it - it's only a small portion of the windfall. And if he moans just tell him how much you'll be able to earn after doing the course. Whether you do or not is irrelevant btw, but it might shut the fucker up.

MammaTJ Thu 13-Jun-13 19:03:22

You might actually find that you pay a lot less than you think for the college course anyway.

I am doing an access course, which is equivalent to A levels and although it states that it was £1234 for the two year course, because I am a little bit over 25, and do not have a level 3 qualification, then I only had to pay £200, and I could pay that over a few months too.

MammaTJ Thu 13-Jun-13 19:03:48

Even if you don't get a discount, go for it!!

wonderingsoul Thu 13-Jun-13 19:14:21

ywbu not to.

go for it while you have the case there. its so easy to say oh ill save a little here and there..or ill do it next month, but as a mother you naturally put your self last, you have the option to treat every one.

your not pissing it up the wall
it could help you earn more

and most importantly.

it will make YOU happy.

though i am intrguied to as what you want to do?

you dont have to say im just nosey

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 19:14:38

Thanks Mamma. I've checked already snd am not eligible for any funding. It's actually 3 separate units at £200 each. I was late applying the last 3 yrs because the money was always earmarked for other things.

Go for it, in all fairness I'd be spending £600 on a spa weekend so college sounds far too sensible to me!

KittensoftPuppydog Thu 13-Jun-13 19:18:55

Do it.

FarBetterNow Thu 13-Jun-13 19:21:07

Does he think you should be looking for a job rather than going to college?

MammaTJ Thu 13-Jun-13 19:24:48

I am now likely to die of curiosity of you don't tell what it is!! grin

LineRunner Thu 13-Jun-13 19:26:59

Is it a handbag making course? smile

Do it.

wannaBe Thu 13-Jun-13 19:27:17

spend the £600 on the course. then spend the rest on bloody handbags. ;)

SueDoku Thu 13-Jun-13 19:28:47

Go for the college course..!! Tell him it will help you to get a better job and watch his eyes light up smile

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 19:28:53

Farbetter - don't think do. I have been looking for work but can' t get anything during the day because of the kids. Have bern looking at evening and weekend work but haven't found anything yet. And college is only one night a week.

NatashaBee Thu 13-Jun-13 19:30:15

YANBU. I agree, add up the cost of his gym and remind him that you're both equally entitled to have a hobby if you want.

INeedSomeSun Thu 13-Jun-13 19:31:03

Please tell us what course it is

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 19:32:27

Mamma - You'll probably be very disappointed ! It's a complementary therapies course. I did a week long taster course a few summers ago ( which dh paid for!) and I loved it.

beginnings Thu 13-Jun-13 19:39:18

Do it. Sounds great!

scottishmummy Thu 13-Jun-13 19:40:34

don't waste money studying woo-hoo rubbish.can't see the benefit in that at all
other than if you're hoping to set up charging other gullibles a lot of money
if money been tight for so long,it seem shame to spend on complementary woo

livinginwonderland Thu 13-Jun-13 19:47:15

Do it!

DeskPlanner Thu 13-Jun-13 19:48:31

If its something you will enjoy, then do it. Good luck.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 19:54:45

Scottishmummy - woo woo rubbish ? Can't recall asking for opinions on my choice of course. Won't come chapping your door looking for business ehen I'm qualified so no need to worry about me ripping you off. I'm not talking hopi ear candles and chakra readings but learning massage which could take me into sports massage etc......all beneficial stuff.

scottishmummy Thu 13-Jun-13 19:57:22

complementary therapies,well it's usually associated with woo-hoo and dubious theory
your money up to you
does this lead to employment?

ARealDame Thu 13-Jun-13 19:59:04

Above comments are a good example of why never to answer questions on MN, ever...

If it were me OP, I'd spend, spend, spend - esp. after such a frugal time. You can always buy your husband a nice pressie too wink.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 20:05:40

That's the title of the course. Once you've studied the basic anatomy and physiology parts of the course you can opt for swedish massage, reflexology, aromatherapy or the likes of reiki (which I've never bought into myself.). As well as the usual employment opportunities in salons etc, there is also the option of going self employed, I've even read that massage therapists can be employed with the Nhs.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 20:07:35

Cheers Arealdame. He might get a free massage if he's lucky !

PestoSwimissimos Thu 13-Jun-13 20:08:56

It's a great idea, do it!

Bogeyface Thu 13-Jun-13 20:13:04

I think you are barking up the wrong tree.

I wonder if this has nothing to do with the money but the fact that, in your words, you have been a hermit and done nothing for yourself for years. But now you are spreading your wings a bit and asserting some independence. ITs very common for men to kick off as they dont want the status quo changing, "What about MEEEEE????! You shouldnt do anything for you, it should all be about MEEEEEE!"

lordleofric Thu 13-Jun-13 20:15:26

Doesn't matter what the course is or if it leads to employment. The only thing that matters is that you have wanted to do for a while.

scottishmummy Thu 13-Jun-13 20:20:37

massage therapist in nhs?very unlikely
sorry but the more you elaborate on course,the more woo. hoo it sounds
do be realistic about ourcomes,however,as you rightly say its your money.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 20:24:40

Bogeyv- that thought did cross my mind too. I'm generally an easy going person but I will occasionally did my heels in if something is important. DH is used to me beig laid back and getting things his own way. Lord- I think that's what's important too, that I'll enjoy it. I spent 10 yrs in a job I hated and vowed tha t I would at least try this as it really appealed to me.

EllaFitzgerald Thu 13-Jun-13 20:27:23

It doesn't matter what the course is, or whether it will lead to employment or not. You've wanted to do it for three years, so if you've got a roof over your head and food in the cupboard, enrol tomorrow and buy yourself a fabulous pair of shoes to celebrate!

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 20:28:36

Thanks for your concern Scottishmummy. Right now I just want to do something that I might actually enjoy and I'm not thinking too far ahead about outcomes.

INeedSomeSun Thu 13-Jun-13 20:28:39

Massage therapists can earn really well, you definately should do it.

I don't know why anyone would think it was woo woo. The benefits of massage are proven and our children's centre even runs baby massage sessions.

I'm sure your DH will change his mind once you start practising on him...

Bogeyface Thu 13-Jun-13 20:31:11

massage therapist in nhs?very unlikely

Wrong I am afraid. In my town there has just been opened a very large NHS funded alternative therapy centre including massage, acupuncture (which is also offered in the physio department at the main hospital) and homeopathy. I got acupuncture treatment for breast pain before my surgery, which was recommended by my consultant and delivered by the physios.

Oh give over on the woo woo nonsense.

OP go for it, massage courses are well worth their cost. My Mum is a practitioner and from the courses she met many people who do all forms of massage. She specialises in aromatherapy and Indian head massage, could earn a killing from it if her hands weren't arthritic!

Damnautocorrect Thu 13-Jun-13 20:33:52

It's investing in yours and your families future. It's exactly what you should be spending it on

AwkwardSquad Thu 13-Jun-13 20:34:20

Go for it. You can practice on me grin


vintagecakeisstillnice Thu 13-Jun-13 20:37:13

Do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it

I speak as someone who has to book a massage at least 3weeks in advance.

ShadeofViolet Thu 13-Jun-13 20:48:21

Do it.

And ignore the nay sayers. Massage is a great career with earning potential. Not woo at all.

LineRunner Thu 13-Jun-13 20:53:28

I want a massage.

scottishmummy Thu 13-Jun-13 20:59:28

if you have the interest,stamina and weigh up the pro/con,the yes go in informed
yes pct,gp can commission massage etc but it's certainly not lots jobs
in private health club/retail there are opportunities

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 21:04:20

Awwweee sod it. Am going to get my boobs done instead...Dh will be happy and I can always do some glamour modelling. Everyone's a winner !

ihearsounds Thu 13-Jun-13 21:17:48

Where I work, we have a massuese come in weekly in the name of staff wellbeing. We get this person from the pct, who is funded by a very generous beneficiary. I am not in health club or retail.

At the end of the day this is something that you want to do, so do it. Dont be put off because in years to come you will think fuck why didnt I go for it. There has probably been lots of things that you have given up over the years, dont this be another thing. Tis is your money and if you want to spend it on further education, bags and shoes then go for it.

raisah Thu 13-Jun-13 21:34:19

Spend the money on YOUR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT so that means:
College course (find out if you qualify for discounts)
I would get some careers advice as well
Driving lessons (if you can't drive already)
Good interview suit
If you spend on the house your Dh will benefit too do spend it on yourself instead.

Do find out if the course will lead to specific qualifications too, and look into similar options. You may find that doing a course in a specific type of massage first would be more beneficial in the short term with the view of doing more courses later smile

Mia4 Thu 13-Jun-13 21:58:06

YANBU, sounds like a good investment to educate however to play DA could your DH meaning 'wait and lets do the sums before we book X, Y and Z?' Which i could understand. Absolutely put your education first on the list and do it, but be sure not to overspend, when we aren't used to suddenly having a lot of cash it's easy to overspend.

scottishmummy Thu 13-Jun-13 22:01:26

I'd be wary of any course with title complementary therapies
if you're want to do sports massage,why not proceed to that directly
how is sport massage regulated?does it have accredited or approved courses

A friend of mine has spent the last two years studying beauty therapy, everything from eyebrow threading, pedicure, manicure, polishing, nail art, every day make up, evening make up, and also massage. She is not very optimistic regards her future employment prospects. Even her college tutor says it is really hard to find paid work, especially salon or spa jobs. Without the experience, most end up working for free for quite a while.

Maybe your dh is against the course because of what it is, not because you want to study?

cannotfuckingbelievethis Thu 13-Jun-13 22:14:48

Scottishmummy - before I am able to study any kind of massage or therapy I need to have studied Anatomy and Physiology which is the first unit. Once I've completed this, I'll be free to study other units or even go to a different college. This is the basic entry requirement. So there's nothing to stop me doing sports massage if I find a place to do it.

scottishmummy Thu 13-Jun-13 22:24:26

best wishes in future studies

Bogeyface Thu 13-Jun-13 22:43:53

Quint thats absolutely true about the BT courses, mainly because the market is flooded every summer with newly qualifed BTs and the salons can get away with taking on a new BT on a three month "work experience" contract that pays nothing, because in three months they will have a list of applicants a mile long for the next lot of work experience. My sister is the only BT I know that has made a career as a result of it, and she hasnt done treatments in 5 years. She got promoted to salon manager after slogging her guts out at minimum wage for 8 years and now runs a (v posh and v famous) spa, but it took her a hell of along time to get there. Most BT will ditch the career within 5 years. Its not surprising when you think that my sister would spend an hour knackering herself out massaging some fat sweaty bloke and get paid £6 ish for it. He would have paid £75 for that same hour. And if I were to tell you about "Minging Minge Mary" who came in regularly for a bikini wax after a day at work in tights AND trousers and always refused a shower pre-treatment.... I only heard 2 stories, couldnt face anymore grin

If sis had her time again she says that she would focus on the massage side of things, take more courses in that, and do the BT stuff as a self employed mobile sideline. Someone she was at college did that and she is worth a fortune now. Maybe worth mentioning that to your friend?

MammaTJ Fri 14-Jun-13 03:25:57

I have seen the work that goes in to that first module and it is on a par with the work I have had to do for my A level equivalent biology.

Nothing woo about that!

I got referred for acupuncture on the NHS for whiplash a few years ago. The NHS are taking a more holistic route nowadays.

Definitely do the course OP!

scottishmummy Fri 14-Jun-13 19:24:32

complementary therapy course title is woo. reiki is off woo hoo scale
as I'd advise with any course,chose on interest and if seeking job on completion, employability
if not particularly seeking employment chose for enjoyment

marriedinwhiteagain Fri 14-Jun-13 19:42:14

If it's only one evening a week surely you can still look for a job at the same time.

I've always though that if we were on our uppers I could start a cleaning and laundry business but we are in London. Cd also do domestic admin, babysitting and the odd bit of catering.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Fri 14-Jun-13 22:47:55

Scottishmummy - you've really got a bee in your bonnet about this complementary therapies thing haven't you ? What would you suggest as an alternative title ? I plan to first learn the therapies that I have experienced and enjoyed myself so that means massage, reflexology and aromatherapy. Some people swear by reiki, others think it's a pile of shit. If someone is choosing to spend their money in this way and it ultimately makes them feel better then why is it any diffrent from buying make up , shoes or a new dress ?

scottishmummy Fri 14-Jun-13 22:51:40

no, asked for opinion,you're getting opinion
if you're seeking employability do look into jobs post it good option
if you're seeking enjoyment,then yes it's a recreational treat spend,like make up

cannotfuckingbelievethis Fri 14-Jun-13 22:57:02

Ok, we'll agree to disagree. I asked for opinions on spending some money on myself, not for opinions on my choice of course. My first reason is interest and then possibly a job.

LineRunner Fri 14-Jun-13 22:57:58

OP Just do it. smile

scottishmummy Fri 14-Jun-13 22:58:35

as I said,best wishes your money spend it wisely ESP as it has been scarce

cannotfuckingbelievethis Fri 14-Jun-13 23:04:33

I'm talking about spending a third of it on myself, the first time I have really done so in a long time. It's as much to do with increasing my job prospects as it is to do with having "me" time and meeting new people. The remainder will be spent on a family holiday, a new loo and £160 that I owe my parents.

scottishmummy Fri 14-Jun-13 23:05:23

fair enough

quoteunquote Fri 14-Jun-13 23:37:01

Do your course, you loved it when you tried it,

and it is so much better doing something you love for a living than not,

One of our local doctor surgery has a complimentary medicine suites attached to it, everything from chiropractor, osteopathy,homeopathy very popular,

I don't believe your husband cannot see that your personal development doesn't benefit the whole family unit , he doesn't like un sanctioned change.

You would be very foolish not to grab this opportunity, and if anyone is none supportive, then question where you put your energies in the future, don't end up a mug.

BridgetBidet Fri 14-Jun-13 23:55:35

Ryangoslingspants, how old are you? If you are young, I think it's under 24, you might be able to qualify for help from the Princes Trust to set up your own business when you complete your course.

They are really helpful and if you are good at building up contacts and could get yourself a decent customer base you could be onto a winner. They offer help and support with start ups too.

ChipsNEggs Sat 15-Jun-13 07:33:08

Do the course. After 3 years out of work the confidence boost alone is probably worth the money.

I love a nice massage and its not woo at all!

cannotfuckingbelievethis Sat 15-Jun-13 08:27:02

I'm 38 so not young enough for any financial help I'm afraid ! It's getting booked on Monday, I'm decided.

Nerfmother Sat 15-Jun-13 08:33:04

Really weird how on the inheritance thread it was all 'its family money not dh's money' and now the op is being advised to spend it all on herself! If this is a lump sum after three years of not working, is there any debt or need that could be covered? I'd look at that first, but a course sounds good too.

cannotfuckingbelievethis Sat 15-Jun-13 08:44:06

Hi Nerf, no credit cards or the likes. I wouldn't dream of spending it all on myself as he's been working hard the past couple of years and financially I have not contributed (though I know looking after the kids is a full time job before anyone jumps in).

Nerfmother Sat 15-Jun-13 08:45:44

That's good, I think a course sounds like a sensible plan.

Phineyj Sat 15-Jun-13 08:51:11

Do it - it's your money and you've been more than fair in allocating 2/3 of it to family things. I'm sure your relative would have wanted you to get some enjoyment from the money?

littlewhitebag Sat 15-Jun-13 09:37:01

I work for a LA and we had a complementary therapies woman come into the office i used to work in once every two weeks. I loved the reflexology. Lying in a darkened room for 30 minutes in work time getting my feet rubbed. It was bliss and helped with the stress of my job. I say go for it.

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