To think DH would want to spend Father's Day with his children...

(33 Posts)

rather than buggering off on a shooting day at the range? DSs are 3 & 8 months so it's still a fairly new event & his first with DS2. If he shoots its pretty much an all day event so no chance of doing anything before or after. AIBU?

CAF275 Thu 13-Jun-13 18:22:29

YABU, although I'm pretty sure most folks on here will shoot me down in flames!

I really doubt many fathers give a hoot about a commercially driven day in their honour.

If it helps, my DH is 4,000 miles away and hasn't been home since the end of January, although we did meet up with him during the Easter hols. He has no clue it's fathers day and wouldn't care less if he did.

mrsjay Thu 13-Jun-13 18:23:51

TBH i know you are a bit miffed at him but isn't it fathers day he can do what he likes iyswim, I dont go in for all that dh doesn't even know its fathers day and I am sure it is a new hallmark gimmick, as long as you do something on mothers day then I am not sure id care

SenoritaViva Thu 13-Jun-13 18:24:28

Yabu, he should spend it how he wishes. Disclaimer though we don't make a huge deal of it in our house. I think it's all pretty commercial, but we do something small.

Ragwort Thu 13-Jun-13 18:24:30

Agree with CAF - my DH is off for a day's fishing, it's the first day of the fishing season.

It is Father's Day so I am happy for him to do what he likes. Likewise on Mothering Sunday I expect to get the day of my choice grin.

livinginwonderland Thu 13-Jun-13 18:26:09

YABU, my dad never did anything with me for Fathers Day because it's just commercial rubbish. He spent time with me everyday anyway, so what was the point in singling out one random Sunday for it?

phantomhairpuller Thu 13-Jun-13 18:26:20

My DH will be away on Father's Day. Not that either of us are bothered, it's a load of commercialised bollocks. An excuse to drag more money out if people. And our DCs are too young to know its Father's Day anyway.
Very similar ages to your DCs actually confused YABU

mrsjay Thu 13-Jun-13 18:28:06

I would rather stick pin in my eyes than spend the mothers day doing something the DC wanted to do , <shrug>

Startail Thu 13-Jun-13 18:28:10

YANBU if he spends Saturday and Sunday shooting.

My DDs like a special meal/tea or something with their DDad, but we don't always use the Sunday.

This year it's Indian on Friday night.

HeySoulSister Thu 13-Jun-13 18:29:17


It's just another day

ShabbyButNotChic Thu 13-Jun-13 18:34:16

The question you have to answer is, would you want to do what you wanted on mothers day? If you are going to go in for the whole fathers day rubbish, surely that means it is his day and he can do what HE wants?
Dont believe in it making shite grumble grumble

LIG1979 Thu 13-Jun-13 18:37:08

My dd was around 7 months on Mother's Day. I got a card, lie in and breakfast in bed and went to the gym. So most of my present was spent away from dd. Putting it like that I now feel bad!

For Father's Day - I was thinking about giving dd to dh and then going out for the day wink

Ok so IABU but in my defence he's always making himself out to be Superdad & bemoaning the fact that he never gets to spend enough time with the boys. Plus I didn't get to spend Mother's Day doing what I wanted either, it was just another day.

And I look after the boys all week & kind of begrudge doing it at weekends too whilst he has time to himself (which I rarely get).

wankerchief Thu 13-Jun-13 18:39:19

We dont do gifts on mothers\fathers day. We get to do what we want and be child free for the day.
The gift of no whinging kids.That and a fry up

I went to lunch and the cinima on mothers day. It was great

LIG1979 Thu 13-Jun-13 18:39:53

Ooops - didn't finish. So in a way yabu as time away from the kids for the mum on Mother's Day would be considered fine so why not for the men on Father's Day.

mrsjay Thu 13-Jun-13 18:40:00

I thinkt hats your issue not fathers day tell him it shouldnt be all up to you to look after the dc all weekend too if he is off galavanting, you have to tell him how you feel ,

ItCameFromOuterSpace Thu 13-Jun-13 18:41:35

I dont think yabu, esp if your 3 year has been looking forward to spending time with their daddy.

Bunbaker Thu 13-Jun-13 18:42:47

"I really doubt many fathers give a hoot about a commercially driven day in their honour."

I agree. OH wouldn't give a toss. As it is, he is over 5,000 miles away and won't be back until the end of next week.

susiedaisy Thu 13-Jun-13 18:49:43

Can't he do the shooting and spend a bit of time with his dc on Sunday ?

Whether you get free time on a weekend generally is a whole other issue and one that seems to cause no end of trouble in a lot of marriages

sameoldIggi Thu 13-Jun-13 19:00:58

I don't think fathers day (or mothers day) is about getting to do what you want, the way a birthday might be. It is about celebrating your role as a father. So yes, I think he should want to spend it with his children.

ShabbyButNotChic Thu 13-Jun-13 19:01:26

I think the issue is the amount of time he spends with the kids then rather than specifically fathers day? As that alone shouldnt be that much of an issue i wouldnt think?

Sameold, that's my thinking but I think this is just symptomatic of the numerous things that need fixing in our relationship sad

mylovelymonster Thu 13-Jun-13 19:08:39

I think YABU, but you need to communicate with him and arrange when you can have time for yourself now & again. My DH will be off cycling for the day. He doesn't get to go out much on his bike so am very happy he gets to go on a decent organised event once in a while.

Mrsrobertduvall Thu 13-Jun-13 19:22:07

I don't want to spend time with my dcs on Mother's Day grin

trackies Thu 13-Jun-13 19:42:28

YABU - let him enjoy his fathers day as he wants.

sameoldIggi Thu 13-Jun-13 19:44:51

Trackies - what if every weekend is just about him enjoying himself as he wishes?

BitOutOfPractice Thu 13-Jun-13 19:45:30

I think this isn't about father's day is it?

TBH I think he should be able to do what the heck he likes onFD

But it seems he does that on every day? And that's what is galling you?

BackforGood Thu 13-Jun-13 19:49:48

I agree that I think you've asked the wrong question.
I think YABU in regards to it being Father's Day, but YANBU is terms of one parents getting to do their hobby for a full day, child free, n a regular basis, if the other parent doesn't get the same opportunity.

Make sure you get to do what you want on Mothers Day next year OP, but there's not any point pressing him to stay home. He'll only resent it.

But if you're resentful that he has far more time to himself than you have, you need to address that.

Mintyy Thu 13-Jun-13 19:53:50

Well ... I once spent a wonderful mother's day on a child-free weekend away with friends (we were all Mums) - that was kind of the point.

We all love our children but, honestly, when they are little, the treat is to be away from them for a few hours. Or am I awful for saying that?

dubstarr73 Thu 13-Jun-13 19:55:00

Mothers Day i do what i want so i cant see why he cant do what he wants Fathers Day.

dubstarr OP says she didn't get to do what she wanted, whereas her DH gets to do what he wants every weekend. Father's Day is just highlighting that disparity.

MamaBear17 Thu 13-Jun-13 21:21:42

I told my hubby not to bother buying any silly tat for me for mothers day because all I wanted was to spend the day as a family. I think I expect him to feel the same to be honest. I have given hubby free reign on deciding what he wants to do for fathers day, as long as he understands that it will involve me and dd too!

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