to not want to go to a BBQ at 40+8

(61 Posts)
Splatt34 Sun 26-May-13 08:41:13

just that really. Text from DH's friend just now re BBQ this afternoon. Am 40+8, rather fed up and just want baby out. Not dead keen to be making polite conversation about it with his mates, or worse my waters breaking there or some such. But DH has called me a grouch & says he'll go with DD anyway whether I go or not.

alienbanana Sun 26-May-13 08:43:38

Let him take DD and enjoy the peace smile

DontmindifIdo Sun 26-May-13 08:43:38

how far away is it from your house? If it's less than an hours drive, send him with DD and put your feet up in peace, making it clear he has to stay sober because it's highly likely you'll call him to come take you to hospital.

Then sit in your own garden in the sunshine, eat a tub of icecream, read a book in peace.

BrokenBanana Sun 26-May-13 08:43:47

Are you good friends them? I'd be tempted to go for a bit, you know you'll get treated like the queen that far along!

Basically at 40 +8 you can do whatever the hell you want, no one must argue with you smile

mirai Sun 26-May-13 08:43:55

So... Let him go. You can relax with some peace and quiet and if anything happens he can come straight home. Sounds good to me!

Loulybelle Sun 26-May-13 08:44:03

and what if you suddenly pop, and need him with you?

HollyBerryBush Sun 26-May-13 08:44:10

Let him go with DD, you put your feet up and MN away to your hearts content!

In fact, that sounds like a plan!

fluckered Sun 26-May-13 08:44:38

let him on and rest. enjoy the peace, nap, watch telly, pig out, whatever, and good luck!! he has plenty time to be a grouch when little one is born and he is as tired as you are now.

I'd stay at home and enjoy the peace and quiet. Dh can take dd to bbq and you can eat cake and watch dross on the telly.

HandMini Sun 26-May-13 08:47:27

God, I'd welcome a bit of alone time if I were you net him to take DD, and go via the park on the way there and supermarket on the way back. Be gone no less than six hours. Result n

Ashoething Sun 26-May-13 08:51:40

If dh gave me an ultimatum that he was going anyway and leaving me at such a vulnerable stage I would tell him to go and stay gone. Seriously he is putting a barbeque ahead of you?hmm

CrazyOldCatLady Sun 26-May-13 08:53:23

Definitely let them go and enjoy the peace and quiet. You don't have to do anything you don't want to at this stage (other than being pregnant!).

Gentleness Sun 26-May-13 08:54:00

Let him go, with strict instructions not to drink. Unless it is further than 20mins away. No. Maybe 10!

pooka Sun 26-May-13 08:54:20

he can go with dd.

Iheartcustardcreams Sun 26-May-13 08:57:39

I went to one the other week when I was 40+3 wasn't going to go but glad I did in the end as I got to sit nod relax whilst my DCs were looked after! It was an hour away so took my notes and bag but didn't need it, baby born 2 days later!

BrokenBanana Sun 26-May-13 08:59:16

Really Ashoething? hmm

Splatt34 Sun 26-May-13 09:00:15

Thank you!! Will see how we are doing later. It's a 35 min drive away & I guess I'm a bit worried should he go and then things start as was quite quick last time, plus I just don't want everyone knowing that I'm in labour IYSWIM. Not that baby seems in any rush. DD was 8 days late so I have been hoping it will be today at the latest.

FarBetterNow Sun 26-May-13 09:01:16

Ash: Does her DH not leave to go to work on other days?

OP: send them off and just enjoy the peace and quiet.

Ashoething Sun 26-May-13 09:01:58

Yes his attitude is appalling broken-but barbeques are a trigger for me as dh was a huge arse over one when I had just had a C-section.

HoobleDooble Sun 26-May-13 09:02:40

Sounds like a win/win to me, either go to BBQ and be waited on hand and foot (and see how many times you can play the 'clutching your tummy and groaning' trick before it gets old), OR be free of DH and DD for a few hours of you time. Surely he won't drink if he has DD to look after would he?

Ashoething Sun 26-May-13 09:03:16

Its not about the leaving her-its the fact that when op said she had doubts about going-her dh instead of trying to understand and be supportive-threw his toys out of the pram and said he was going anyway.

Fairylea Sun 26-May-13 09:03:36

I'd let them go and if you need him back tell him to make an excuse that he isn't feeling well or whatever smile

Splatt34 Sun 26-May-13 09:06:15

if I don't go he can't drink as will have to drive, but tbh he's dieting so not really drinking anyway.

He's not being horrible just trying to cheer me up & he knows I'll enjoy myself once I get there & I feel have missed out if don't go.

Hobble - like the idea of your game!

Gentleness Sun 26-May-13 09:11:03

Actually, 35 mins drive would be too far for me at your stage. I'd go if my own friends would be there, because the drive might help start labour off. But I would be very, very wary of him being that far away. Second labours can be that fast and you're already feeling vulnerable today.

Fairylea Sun 26-May-13 09:11:15

To be honest even if you were driving he shouldn't drink anyway as at this stage he might well be needed to drive at any moment!

elQuintoConyo Sun 26-May-13 09:13:09

Tell him to go, take DD and explain to everyone that you're on the brink of popping and very tired.
Have a lovely few hours to yourself. Your DH sounds like only a 'momentary arse' not a full-time one smile

NonnoMum Sun 26-May-13 09:13:27

So, you don't want to do anything?
You're in a bit of a grump?
You are finding it hard to laugh at DH's 'jokes'?
You don't want to be sociable?


DontmindifIdo Sun 26-May-13 09:16:56

Is he trying to cheer you up or does he think it'll be fun for him and wants you to go along with it?

What's your childcare plan for DD if you go into labour? If today is the day, would he have to come home, collect you and DD, go drop her off somewhere and then take you to hospital?

I'd tell him you don't want to go, if he is trying to cheer you up, leaving you on your own isn't going to do it, nor is forcing you to go socialise when you do'nt want too.

ChestyNut Sun 26-May-13 09:23:05


Send them off on their merry way and you get peace and free reign over the remote grin

ParadiseChick Sun 26-May-13 09:28:48

Don't go if you don't want to, your dh has said he's happy to take dd so what's the issue?

MummytoKatie Sun 26-May-13 09:42:55

Hi Splat - just wanted to say hi to a possible birth date buddy! I'm 39+2, dd born at 39+3 and am having mild contractions......

Not planning on going to any BBQs today......

quoteunquote Sun 26-May-13 10:36:52


If you are going to risk having your baby somewhere, then up your game, find somewhere you want to have a massive gift voucher from.

alienbanana Sun 26-May-13 11:57:25

BBQ, quote.. not B&Q grin

MortifiedAdams Sun 26-May-13 12:03:34

Id be shoe-horning him out of the door making sure hisphone has full charge.

If you do go into labour it willprobably take longer than 35mins for you to feel the urgent need to be in hospital - or you could call an ambulance and have him meet you there.

quoteunquote Sun 26-May-13 12:06:47

grin grin grin

Only go if you are supplied with contract that states clearly the selection of seating that will be made available to you, if they haven't lugged a feather sofa and feather footstool into the garden, say no.

and fill some water balloons and conceal below your skirt, pop when things are boring.

Cluffyflump Sun 26-May-13 12:09:23

My money is on you going into labour today!
I had an almost Identical thing happen about 14hrs before I gave birth to dc3.
I didn't want to go out.
I was in a really odd mood and did not want to be around other people.
My dh was a bit of a tosser about it though angry still.

I would wave him and your dd off and chill today.
Good luck smile

Cluffyflump Sun 26-May-13 12:10:40

Ohhh good luck Mummytokatie as well thanks

TigerSwallowTail Sun 26-May-13 12:12:48

Yanbu, that sounds awful, I'm 40+4 and won't be visiting anyone until baby is here, instead I'm spending my days sprawled on the couch watching Netflix.

LineRunner Sun 26-May-13 12:20:14

What is it with BBQs and people not being allowed to decline attending them? Like people are doing you a massive favour burning some sausages and undercooking chicken in a mist of flies and warm lager fumes. They always put the pressure on by saying, 'The weather's lovely! We've bought the food now!'

Just put your feet up.

LineRunner Sun 26-May-13 12:22:13

Oh and good luck with the births to all! flowers

LastTangoInDevonshire Sun 26-May-13 12:28:26

All of you stating he shouldn't go in case the OP starts - I presume the poor bloke is allowed to go to work??

GibberTheMonkey Sun 26-May-13 13:18:35

Agree with the others who say send him and dd and enjoy the peace.

Splatt34 Sun 26-May-13 19:41:20

well I went. & actually it was fine & TBH it was nice to get out & see people but SHUSH !!!!! don't tell DH he was right!!

saldoozer Sun 26-May-13 19:59:32

I went to a BBQ at 40+10 and went into labour in the middle of the night. Hopefully that will happen to you wink

Samu2 Sun 26-May-13 20:08:56


I would not want my dh to go though either, simply because I have gone from no contractions to having a baby an hour later twice and the third was just over an hour with no warning signs.

I was too scared for him to be away longer than 5 minutes lol

Samu2 Sun 26-May-13 20:10:22

Oh you went! Well glad you had a good time grin

Now come on baby Saldoozer!!

McNewPants2013 Sun 26-May-13 20:19:34

Glad you enjoyed yourself and good luck with the birth.

Ywnbu not to want to go, I went 14 days over with DS and it was like the whole pregnancy all over again.

Cluffyflump Mon 27-May-13 11:41:26

I checked expecting to read a fab birth story.
Glad you had a nice time smile

MummytoKatie Mon 27-May-13 20:53:16

I can do you one! Ds was born just before 5pm yesterday. He's doing really well and is gorgeous. Successful VBAC which I was really pleased about.
Quote of the day:-
Midwife:- Listen to your body - what is it telling you to do?
Me:- go home and have the baby another day!

Apparently the correct answer was push!

Jestrin Mon 27-May-13 21:09:01

Congratulations MummytoKatie

And grin at the quote!

Cluffyflump Mon 27-May-13 21:27:43

Oh how wonderful Mummytokatie
What a brill quote! grin
Many congratulations to you thanks x100 smile

snuffly newborn cuddles and lovely downey heads <sigh>

DeskPlanner Mon 27-May-13 22:10:54

Yeah, mummy, many congratulations and thanks . Please come back op, with your birth story. Had all my babies, so have to live all the excitement of others grin .

DeskPlanner Mon 27-May-13 22:13:43

Ooh, the op, could well be giving birth right now. So excited.

Splatt34 Mon 27-May-13 22:18:18

OP is now +9 & it seems I will be pregnant forever despite trawling around car boot this morning & helping DH erect new fence this afternoon.

Congratulation mummytokatie !!

ImperialBlether Mon 27-May-13 22:34:33

You need to drive around looking for speed bumps. That should bring it on.

Best of luck - I'm very jealous!

Cluffyflump Mon 27-May-13 22:35:26

Yep Splatt
You've missed your slot, so will have to wait till next year now.

Tell me...
Have you considered ; sex, curry, raspberry tea, going for a long walk?

Cluffyflump Mon 27-May-13 22:36:45

Speed bumps did actually start it off for me last time!

SmellsLikeWeenSpirits Mon 27-May-13 22:44:44

Get on a swing. I was showing no signs of imminent labour, went for a walk, had a swing, had a twinge, had a baby four hours later


Loulybelle Mon 27-May-13 22:50:47

A rocking chair got me going.....

If you have a birthing or exercise ball, sit on it and thrust downwards.

partyondude Mon 27-May-13 22:55:49

I tried morris dancing at 40+9. It had sod all effect but at 14mo ds was seen dancing in the bath with two white flannels...

Good luck! Hope its not too long now.

MrsMook Mon 27-May-13 23:06:05

It was was being sent to the wrong seat at the panto that got me going first time- I was with my Brownie Pack at the time! I hadn't wanted to be left alone and convinced DH not to go to work, but my warm up symptoms died away so I thought I may as well go along that evening.

As Neil Morrisey was playing Wishy Washy, I'm reminded everytime Bob The Builder is on. DS is 2 and the memory is stirred very frequently!

Congratulations on the VBAC!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now