To not want to go abroad with Dh & Dsc?

(45 Posts)
Alicenotinwonderland Thu 23-May-13 18:03:54

Dh has been making noises about taking dsc on holiday next year to Greece, although I am very fond of her and enjoy the time we spend together am IBU to not want to spend and inordinate amount of money on a family holiday in a hotel with crappy beds, scratchy sheets and drinks served in a plastic cups? I did look at a villa but as dsc is an only child it's probably better for her to be with other children so she can make friends etc.

I think she will be bored for a week with us, I would be! so instead I suggested that as she already goes abroad with her mum and extended family inc other kids we spend 3-4 nights in the UK.

Such as Centre Parcs, New Forest etc. Giving her some fresh air exercise time in nature and doing lots of fun things. While I know these types of breaks aren't cheap they are cheaper than going abroad.

Am I doing her out of a sunny holiday even though she has 1-2 a year with her mum?

You are looking in the wrong holiday brochures. You can get fab holidays for as much as it costs to holiday in the uk.

Whocansay Thu 23-May-13 18:06:22

I think you may be in for a surprise if you think that Centreparcs is going to be a cheap option!

Does your dh get a holiday abroad? Maybe he wants some sun?

LIZS Thu 23-May-13 18:07:38

Why wouldn't she enjoy herself ? You can get villa complexes so she could meet other families or go on package to a family resort with kids clubs. How old is she ?

We looked at Centreparcs & it was extortionate.

And don't forget the other obligation you'll have wink

needaholidaynow Thu 23-May-13 18:11:17


<whispers> You shouldn't have mentioned the words "do not want to spend" in the same sentence that has the words "inordinate amount of money" when it comes to your stepchild. smile

But no, you're not being unreasonable. Go somewhere that she will have fun and enjoy! Just because you don't want to go abroad it doesn't mean she won't have fun! We're going to Haven because we don't want it to be too much for our 2 year old and baby. So DSD has to settle with that and go on nice sunny holidays with her mum!

CloudsAndTrees Thu 23-May-13 18:12:56


Your DH has a child, it's only natural that he will want to take her on holiday abroad if he can. You can't expect him to go abroad on other holidays and never take his dd abroad.

You can do fun things, and get exercise and fresh air in other countries as well you know!

I really think that if your DH wants to do this, then you should be supporting him.

KittensoftPuppydog Thu 23-May-13 18:15:57

Mrshelsbells. He he. smile

PicaK Thu 23-May-13 18:17:35

Pay for the holiday. Offer to take a friend.

How old is she?

Alicenotinwonderland Thu 23-May-13 18:20:04

I'm not sure how IABU! Dh and I have a holiday abroad together every other year as he doesn't like to travel.

DSD has 2 holidays in the sun a year with her mum her family and all the other children. Why is it unreasonable to compromise with a UK holiday?

ihearsounds Thu 23-May-13 18:20:08

Haha Centre parks cheap..
We go abroad every year in the school holidays.. Cannot afford Centre parks.

Why would she be bored at a villa. Do you want to just spend your time shagging ignoring her? Plenty of things to do and enjoy.

Alicenotinwonderland Thu 23-May-13 18:20:30

She's almost 11

5Foot5 Thu 23-May-13 18:22:05

I did look at a villa but as dsc is an only child it's probably better for her to be with other children so she can make friends etc.

Huh? DD is an only child and we nearly always holidayed in villas or gites or cottages and did things together the three of us (or five if GPs joined us). I am pretty sure she wasn't bored. In fact it was great that we got to spend so much time doing things together.

Nothing wrong with holidays in the UK but it sounds to me like you have the wrong reasons for wanting to do it

I have never ad drinks in plastic cups in a hotel.

needaholidaynow Thu 23-May-13 18:23:07

DSD has 2 holidays in the sun a year with her mum her family and all the other children. Why is it unreasonable to compromise with a UK holiday?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with this. For your DSD, a holiday with her dad doesn't necessarily HAVE to be abroad. And also, only go by what you can afford, don't go abroad just for the sake of it!

Bonsoir Thu 23-May-13 18:23:46

What is your budget?

5Foot5 Thu 23-May-13 18:23:52

Oh and at 11 I think she might be getting to that age where they are less likely to strike up a friendship with any other random kid anyway

nkf Thu 23-May-13 18:24:46

Why don't they go without you?

CloudsAndTrees Thu 23-May-13 18:24:58

If my DH expected me to go on holidays abroad every other year and never take my children he'd be out on his arse.

The fact that she gets to go abroad with her mother is irrelevant. It doesn't mean your DH shouldn't take her abroad too if he wants to, especially if he goes abroad without her.

Why do you need a compromise? What is it about taking your stepdaughter abroad that seems so terrible?

lunar1 Thu 23-May-13 18:25:42

Why should she miss out on a holiday aboard with her dad. You could stay at home if you don't want to go with them. What she does with her mum is not really relevant, she has 2 parents.

needaholidaynow Thu 23-May-13 18:26:38

Why do you need a compromise? What is it about taking your stepdaughter abroad that seems so terrible?

Here we go.

Alicenotinwonderland Thu 23-May-13 18:29:13

He can by all means go without me! I'm not his keeper. Why is it not ok to take her on a UK holiday?! We have some really beautiful places here!

LIZS Thu 23-May-13 18:29:54

If he wants to be different drive to France, go to an Italian lake (lots of outdoors there) or the Alps. Do you have any dc of your own , if not I can kind of get your reticence to go although your other suggestions seem overly family friendly (Centerparcs in school holidays could be even worse) However it certainly doesn't have to be as you describe wherever you head.

needaholidaynow Thu 23-May-13 18:32:00

I'd tell him to go without you OP. Obviously though the money that would have gone towards your place, put to one side and treat yourself to a spa weekend or something ;)

thebody Thu 23-May-13 18:32:13

What hotels do you go to that serve drinks in plastic cups?? Crappy beds?

I have never stayed in such a place anywhere so you need to sort out your travel arrangements.

Centre parcs is very expensive for a middle class butlins.

11 is a lovely age to take away, old enough to behave and too young for the teen strops.

Take her.

nkf Thu 23-May-13 18:34:20

I don't really get the problem.

ZZZenagain Thu 23-May-13 18:35:28

what sort of holiday do you usually have with dh if you go abroad (without dsd)?

needaholidaynow Thu 23-May-13 18:36:40

Work within your budget. A little caravan holiday is far cheaper than a villa in Greece. Don't spend money you haven't got.

I think this is the point rather than a general problem with your DSD.

tumbletumble Thu 23-May-13 18:37:02

Of course it's ok to take her somewhere in the UK! But if she and DH would both prefer to go abroad then you do end up sounding like a bit of a kill joy.

StillGotBabyBrain Thu 23-May-13 18:39:28

I cannot see why you wouldn't want a holiday abroad with your hubby and step child? Do you have any children yourself? I have two step kids and my hubby would love to take them away abroad, we can't afford to do holidays full stop. Imagine what she must think, you go abroad every other year but won't take her?! Weird.

MoominsYonisAreScary Thu 23-May-13 18:43:33

Ask her what she thinks, we've done villa holidays for the last few years and yes mine started to get bored. This year we are going somewhere in this country instead

CloudsAndTrees Thu 23-May-13 18:44:53

It is ok to go on a UK holiday. I'm sure it will be lovely. Except your DH doesn't want a UK holiday. He wants to go to Greece.

Alicenotinwonderland Thu 23-May-13 18:47:02

No children of my own, we have holidays in child free hotels and we've just asked her if she would like to spend a week abroad..she said no thank you she'd rather stay at home as she doesn't like the 2 hols a year she has anyway, she'd rather have one.

Problem solved.

ZZZenagain Thu 23-May-13 18:47:50

that works out all right then

LIZS Thu 23-May-13 18:48:09

Does she mean stay at home or go away in UK ?

Alicenotinwonderland Thu 23-May-13 18:52:10

She's happy to go away for a few days in the UK she said she'd like to try one of those tent things. I think she means glamping, Greece looks attractive again! But if that's what she'd love when we come to book that's what we'll do!

nkf Thu 23-May-13 21:27:58

Well, there you are then. Lovely love Centerparcs instead of Greece. Success.

quoteunquote Thu 23-May-13 22:41:58


watergate bay

both brilliant, with tons to do.

TigerSwallowTail Thu 23-May-13 23:52:53

What other obligation helsbels?

Pendipidy Fri 24-May-13 00:01:53

What the op means, as is clear in the second to last sentence in her op , is that she doesn't want to spend more money taking her dsd abroad when she could spend less in the UK. Why?

Alicenotinwonderland Fri 24-May-13 06:42:42

Great links quoteunquote, thank you !

dancingwithmyselfandthecat Fri 24-May-13 07:32:35

Nothing wrong with a uk holiday but don't expect it to work out cheaper than Greece, unless the only way you do abroad is five star. If the weather turns bad the costs will particularly mount up.

theoriginalandbestrookie Fri 24-May-13 07:38:32

YANBU to not want to go on a package holiday but don't let that put you off going abroad. We had a nice holiday in the designer when da was that age,cottages with shared pools and lovely local restaurants.It's good to try something different much as I love centre paves.

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