What would you think if your DC received a party invite that had party childs siblings name on it?

(54 Posts)
CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 20:48:28

Just wondering on opinions on this one.

If your DC got an invite for a party and the invitation was for the child in the class that your DC knew, plus the name of the party childs (much younger) sibling, what would you think?

HollyBerryBush Sat 18-May-13 20:49:08

I would think it was a joint party

StanleyLambchop Sat 18-May-13 20:50:41

Same as Holly. Joint party. What's the problem?

craftycottontail Sat 18-May-13 20:50:56

That it's a joint party... Am I missing something?

everlong Sat 18-May-13 20:51:26

Erm that it was their party too?
Do you mean would I be bothered? No I wouldn't.

CloudsAndTrees Sat 18-May-13 20:51:27

I'd think it was a joint party and ther would be friends of the younger sibling at the party as well.

marriedinwhiteagain Sat 18-May-13 20:52:08

Joint party. What's there to think?

Jinsei Sat 18-May-13 20:53:21


Obviously a joint party, no?

flanbase Sat 18-May-13 20:53:39

It sounds like a joint party or a party for the younger sibling with the older one having a friend to invite. You could ask to be sure and plan on two gifts

CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 20:55:11

Yes joint party obviously blush, I am so rubbish at explaining myself.

Would you buy a present for the sibling (that you don't know) when it is your child going to the part of the child in their class?

Astley Sat 18-May-13 20:56:07

Joint party confused what's the confusion?

ShatnersBassoon Sat 18-May-13 20:56:22

No, a present just for the friend. I'd give a card to the other child though.

HollyBerryBush Sat 18-May-13 20:57:22

No, I wouldn't BUT I have been caught like that before, DS3 is friends with twins who are encouraged to have totally separate fiends and identities, not a package deal IYSWIM, and he was invited to one twins party but not the other, even though they were all in the same class. I suppose if he were mates with the other twin, he'd have been invited to that party

flanbase Sat 18-May-13 21:00:59

I'd get two presents

HalloweenDuck Sat 18-May-13 21:02:36

I had a joint party for my ds and dd2 when they turned 4 and 5. ( 12 months between them) We had nice invitations printed and given out to mutual friends/ family etc. Then on their separate friends invites I wrote your are invited as ds/dd2's guest on the back. They loved having cards from their siblings friends aswell as many guests gave cards to the extra sibling. One mother gave presents to both which was a lovely surprise and one mum turned up with a big helium 4 and helium 5 which they both loved!

CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 21:05:09

I was wondering following a conversation with a mum the other day and she was wondering why the younger siblings name was on the invite.

Someone I know is having a joint party for her DS's, their birthdays are close together, one is school age, one isn't. The invites have both names on even to the parents who don't necessarily know about younger sibling. We talked before about whether she should put both names on the invites that were just for the school age child and I did say to her why bother, they are not friends for the younger sibling. Then she said she was going to do it because hopefully she might get more presents for the younger one as well. shock

I didn't know whether she would actually do it and was hoping she was joking which is why I asked another mum whether the invite had both names on, it did and that is the reason why.

greenformica Sat 18-May-13 21:05:40

Card and small sweet for younger sibling, proper gift for older child.

apostropheuse Sat 18-May-13 21:05:42

I would buy for both children if it was both their birthdays and they were having a joint party.

HollyBerryBush Sat 18-May-13 21:06:51

My two were only a year a part, when I did joint parties, I send out invitations from each not both. I wouldn't have expected two presents. That's greedy.

Hulababy Sat 18-May-13 21:07:43

If my child knew the other party host I'd get both a present.
If they didn't know the other child, I'd send a card to both but only send a gift for the host my child knew.

StanleyLambchop Sat 18-May-13 21:08:54

I have only ever bought for the child we know in the case of a joint party. Unless we know both of them!!

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning Sat 18-May-13 21:11:18

Sorry I would buy a token for the other dc

snice Sat 18-May-13 21:12:32

I would get a Poundland special for the unknown sibling-?sweets/colouring book/stationery etc just to have something to wrap

Piffpaffpoff Sat 18-May-13 21:13:28

I do joint parties as the dc's birthdays are two days apart, but each invite is from one of the DCs only. I would not expect DS's friends to bring DD a gift and vice versa.

CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 21:17:58

See that's my thinking exactly piff. I find it so cheeky that the sibling is on the invite purely with the intention of getting them some more presents. Don't kids get enough crap presents anyway. confused I also have children with close birthdays but I would never do this either.

I am surprised many people would buy for the child that their DC didn't know, but then where I live people don't have much money so maybe they won't, but then some may feel obliged when they can't afford it which is terrible.

flanbase Sat 18-May-13 21:24:54

But it's so nice to give two presents and doesn't have to be not expensive - something like crayons, coloured paper, a sticker book

flanbase Sat 18-May-13 21:25:22

typingg - doesn't have to be expensive

HibiscusIsland Sat 18-May-13 21:25:55

But people can have joint parties if they want to. If you would normally spend say £8 on a present you could spend £4 on each, or £5 on one and £3 on the other. Or £8 on the older one and just a card for the younger. Joint parties are common round here.

Jinty64 Sat 18-May-13 21:28:20

Get them a joint present.

CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 21:28:50

I'm not saying that people can't have joint parties though. Joint parties are not a bad thing at all.

I do think it is poor that you put the siblings name purely to get more presents for them though.

CrapBag Sat 18-May-13 21:32:08

jinty if they were a similar age that would be fine and a good solution, but because of their ages, there isn't really anything joint you could get.

I don't actually have an issue with what present to get etc, I was just wondering how it looks to other people who don't know the mum and its just through school friends. Obviously it isn't that bad a thing to do. Although the mum I did speak to thought the same as me.

flanbase Sat 18-May-13 21:32:50

I keep on the look out for bits and bobs for presents for parties and christmas/birthdays. This saves me time when I have an invite & saves money (or I feel like I save money as I already have something to give)

5madthings Sat 18-May-13 21:33:55

I would assume its a joint party and get a present form the child we know and a token gift form the sibling.

Branleuse Sat 18-May-13 21:56:20

I usually have a joint party for my youngest two and put both names on the invite.

it is in no way to get more presents and im actually horrified that people may have thought I was doing a joint party to be grabby.
some people bought a gift for each and some people didnt. I made it clear to all invited that presents weren't even necessary at all, but if they wanted to, then something small.
I put both names on the invitation because its both kids party, not because I want my house filled with more toys, I can assure you

rainbowbrite1980 Sat 18-May-13 22:44:45

My children always have a joint party as their birthdays are close together - I haven't thought twice about maikiing invitations that say "X and Y's party" as it didn't even occur to me that classmates etc would think they had to get the sibling a present!! liooking back, a couple of people did get a present for both, but hardly anyone. I think YABU to think this was done to get extra presents!!

rainbowbrite1980 Sat 18-May-13 22:46:02

a board game is always a good joint present, for all ages and genders.

Bumply Sat 18-May-13 22:54:05

Ds1 and ds2 have birthdays two weeks apart so we went through a period of having a joint party. Invites went out to two sets of friends, one for each child. Pretty sure invites were specific to the child - certainly didn't expect parents to give presents for both except for neighbours who knew both boys well.

BenjaminButton172 Sat 18-May-13 23:12:41

My dd went to a joint party. She knew one but didnt know the other. The two birthday kids were in the same class & had the same friends however they invited 5 kids each to the party & none of the kids bought for both kids even though the majority of the kids played together at school.

MammaTJ Sat 18-May-13 23:43:41

Joint party, present for friend, maybe card fo sibling, maybe not, depends how you feel.

PareyMortas Sat 18-May-13 23:50:41

Dd and DS have had joint birthday parties a few times, they are a year apart so both dc's are known to all the invited children. I didn't want people to buy a present for both dc's just the one who was inviting their child, but did t feel I could put that on the invite. In the end We put something like Johnny invites you to his birthday party held jointly with his sister. Whilst we did get a few people buy both dc's a present most didn't and if they did the second present was very token. Tbh I'm liking it much more now they're older and the trend here is to buy a gift card for Game for the boys or similar. Less tat.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 18-May-13 23:53:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 18-May-13 23:59:28

I'm pretty sure the younger sibling's name is on there as a hint not to be surprised when a bunch of three year olds are at the party. That's all.

5madthings Sun 19-May-13 00:07:01

People dont put the siblings name on the invite to get more presents ffs. Its because its a joint party!plus if you are writing out a bunch if invites you just do them all.the same rather tgan have to remembet to give each childs friends the one ftom.the correct sibling.

Talk about over thinking it!

BriansBrain Sun 19-May-13 00:12:01

I would buy for the child we know.

We are struggling again this month but thanks to MN I sent DD to a party today with a handmade card and a wrapped box of maltezers + bag of smarties.

She had a wonderful time at a party I have before pretended we couldn't attend and I'm sure the b'day boy loved his chocolate hopeful

5madthings Sun 19-May-13 00:15:24

brains i am.sure bday boy was thrilled
and if i was his mum i would be too i love maltesers!

janji Sun 19-May-13 00:17:06

Worse is when dcs friends team up and have joint parties. Pair of twins and another dc had a joint party last week. Cost me a fortune in cards, pressies & wrapping!!

BriansBrain Sun 19-May-13 00:21:48

Thank you 5, it is only the power of MN that has stopped me pretending we aren't free for a party. DD loved it and we have another one before pay day next week and then half term <ffs sigh>

Disappearing Sun 19-May-13 00:41:03

I had a joint party for my 2 DC, and I was careful to only name the DC whose friend the invite was going to, to avoid people buying 2 presents. My school age DD had lots of friends at the party, my much younger DS has no friends is an independent soul, so when it came time to open the presents, DS had to be taken out for an hour or so, to avoid meltdown, he had about 3 presents vs. DD's 20 or so. He never noticed.

Next year I'll be doing separate parties, I think it will be better in many ways.

Sokmonsta Sun 19-May-13 00:43:55

We're doing this tomorrow. But dd's school friends got invites from just her and ds' preschool friends got invited by just him. There is an overlap in that some of the invitees are siblings so dd sent an invite to A and ds to B but there is no expectation of presents and certainly not for both from everyone. The children want to have a party with their friends and that's all they are concerned about. While I can get away with saving money and doing a joint party I will.

It might be seen as fair warning that its a joint party to write both names on the invitation, but it's not harder to write x number out to one group and y to the other.

buswanker Sun 19-May-13 00:44:08

I am really worried this is about me! I sent out party invites like this.
My children's birthdays are in the same week, didn't cross my mind anyone would think I was asking for two gifts. I definitely would not expect two gifts.
Feel so blush now.

LadyLech Sun 19-May-13 01:00:59

My daughters often share a birthday party. I never send out joint invites though, the eldest sends out her invites, and the youngest invites her friends. Why do people need to know in advance that it is a joint party?

I did have one mum who turned up for my youngest a couple of years ago and said she was sorry that she hadn't known it was a joint party, otherwise she would have bought two presents. I replied that that was the exact reason why I hadn't put it on the invites - I didn't want people to feel obliged to buy two presents.

Personally, I don't see any reason to send out joint invites, unless its angling for more cards / presents. After all, writing out invites is tedious enough, why write more than you actually have to?

buswanker Sun 19-May-13 01:06:58

I sat there and wrote out 20 invites. Some were family invites and just wrote 20 the same. That's why, probably lack of sleep due to a baby and also not thinking anyone would think I wanted two gifts.
I am not grabby at all! Feel guilty now!

CrapBag Sun 19-May-13 16:41:58

"I think YABU to think this was done to get extra presents"

I am not U to think this was done to get extra presents. I know it was done to get extra presents. The mother told me as much! And she wasn't joking.

CrapBag Sun 19-May-13 16:46:47

Previous comment also to the other posters who told me I am over thinking and whatever. It isn't me speculating and I can see that many people do this without the expectation of 2 presents. However in this case, it is done with the hope that sibling will get a few more presents out of it. That is a fact.

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