to despise it when adults say "I need a wee"

(195 Posts)
PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:46:35

or "I'm going for a wee" or "He's gone for a wee" etc.

Can't you just go to the loo without announcing it, or just refer to it as "the loo".

Adults "going for a wee" is childish and ever so common! So there!

MammaTJ Sat 18-May-13 18:47:58

I would answer but I need a piss!

Is that better? grin

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:48:41

No, that is awfully common too, Mamma! As is "whizz" and "slash"!

phantomnamechanger Sat 18-May-13 18:49:10

PMSL <common as muck, me>

grin sorry, couldnt resist

SoupDragon Sat 18-May-13 18:49:39

If you go without announcing it, someone always asks where you are going.

Now, I"m just off for a wee.

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:50:23

It's so, so childish though and makes me wince. I judge intensely anyone who announces that they're "Going for a wee", unless they're very young!

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:50:53

If someone asks where you're going, tell them you're going to the loo!

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 18:51:37

But I am off for a wee. Wouldn't want anyone to think I was off for a poo


JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 18-May-13 18:51:39

I would reply but I'm off to shake the lettuce

PollyPlummer Sat 18-May-13 18:51:48

but then they might think you're going for a poo...

SuffolkNWhat Sat 18-May-13 18:51:50

Force of habit after potty training I'm afraid

phantomnamechanger Sat 18-May-13 18:52:03

"please excuse me, it has become necessary for me to go in search of a facility in which to urinate" - is that grown up enough?

PollyPlummer Sat 18-May-13 18:52:14

ah x post with Noel

Bumpotato Sat 18-May-13 18:52:21

My pal says she's off to shake the lettuce. I wish she'd say she's going for a wee.

DH says he's going for a bangers and mash.

Too much detail.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 18-May-13 18:52:38

I'm off to see a man about a dog

VeremyJyle Sat 18-May-13 18:52:52

Noooo its rude to walk out of the room without announcing where you're going

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:52:54

Actually, it's not just adults, anyone over the age of about five sounds ridiculous saying "I'm going for a wee". Ugh - so common!

Bumpotato Sat 18-May-13 18:53:35

Away for a single fish...

Mumof3men Sat 18-May-13 18:53:36

Oh dear, I always say this, so many years of working with kids.
However, I have just realised my young male colleague always says loo. He's never mentioned my use of the word wee!

wetsand Sat 18-May-13 18:53:38

MIL says she is going to 'do a wee' hmm

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:53:46

Just saying you're going to the loo then, if you need to. If not, don't say anything!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 18-May-13 18:54:11

So I'm guessing you wouldn't like : "I'm off to the little girls' room"?

VerySmallSqueak Sat 18-May-13 18:54:49

I don't mind,'I need a wee',but I dislike 'I'm just going to do a wee'.

Subtle distinction but it makes a difference to me.

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:54:59

I had a colleague who said "going for a wee" and we all thought - "thanks for that!" every time she said it. She was awfully common.

Bumpotato Sat 18-May-13 18:55:00

away for a wetty

phantomnamechanger Sat 18-May-13 18:55:28

or "I'm going to powder my nose"

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:55:54

"Little girls' room" is terrible!

VerySmallSqueak Sat 18-May-13 18:55:59

Not so keen on pointing percy at the porcelain either.

AThingInYourLife Sat 18-May-13 18:56:02

I got into this habit with my kids because otherwise they follow me/shout at me/need their arse wiped.

Also during toilet training to normalise it.

I don't intend to do it in adult company blush but it just keeps happening.


I always say I'm going for a wee, or going to the lav

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 18-May-13 18:56:29

I say it at home but not at work. Unprofessional. To say it, I mean, not to wee.

gordyslovesheep Sat 18-May-13 18:56:59

I am common - I can live with that grin

GoshAnneGorilla Sat 18-May-13 18:57:02

"Just off to empty my clog" is the best phrase I've heard for it.

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 18:57:52

Could you say you think it common a couple more times OP?

Just in case anyone doesn't get it, like grin

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 18:57:53

I couldn't be friends with anyone who told me that they were "going for a wee". Far too common for me.

dragongirlx Sat 18-May-13 18:58:00

I always say I'm off to use the euphamisim

SarahAndFuck Sat 18-May-13 18:58:12

I remember once when I went to the bathroom (better OP?) and didn't say where I was going.

MIL decided I was obviously up so she told DH she thought I was crying and he came to look for me, with her and FIL following.

And there was no lock on the door so it was flung open while I was in mid flow (is flow okay?)

And then they wondered why I was annoyed.

She burst in on me and sprayed me with air freshener once as well.

I threatened to take a leaf out of Borat's book after that, and announce to the room that I was going for a shit (sorry OP) whenever she was in the house.

to say that one is going to the toilet (or even worse 'going toilet') is common, much more so than going for a wee

NoelHeadbands Sat 18-May-13 18:58:33

There we go grin

Offler Sat 18-May-13 18:58:37

I always say I'm off for a Jimmy.

AThingInYourLife Sat 18-May-13 18:59:19


Jamie it is most unprofessional to micturate during working hours.

You don't get paid to piss!

And don't get me started on these scroungers urinating willy nilly all day on my tax dollars!

ChippingInIsMissingHerLatte Sat 18-May-13 18:59:50

Thank god for that... I'm off for a wee.

OHforDUCKScake Sat 18-May-13 19:02:06

When Im feeling particularly common, I may annonce ones need for a slash.

Otherwise, its 'wee' here.

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 19:02:06


thebody Sat 18-May-13 19:02:09

My dh days he's going to 'point Percy'.

And for the other it's going for a 'pan cracker'


KingRollo Sat 18-May-13 19:02:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 Sat 18-May-13 19:04:17

I am off to the lav

thegreylady Sat 18-May-13 19:04:50

Depends who you are with.With family and friends;" I need a wee", with acquaintances or strangers ;"Excuse me please."

itsallshitandmoreshit Sat 18-May-13 19:06:08

I shake my lettuce or lay a cable.

I say this in front of the team of 40 people I manage.


zzzzz Sat 18-May-13 19:07:24

"Mums in the loo"..... not great.

"Mums on the loo"....blush hideous!

DawnOfTheDee Sat 18-May-13 19:09:59

Me and DH say "I'm going for a wee" if we're off for a wee or "I'm going to do a bad toilet" if it's a poo. Childish and proud.

auldspinster Sat 18-May-13 19:10:51

Off for a jimmy riddle or tommy tinkle.

Bowlersarm Sat 18-May-13 19:11:50

Can we say "I'm going for a pee" OP?

TheCutOfYourJib Sat 18-May-13 19:11:57

Off to drop the kids in the pool. (If I'm not doing a wee)

scaevola Sat 18-May-13 19:12:50

DD (age 9) does a brilliant impression of Leonard's mother announcing "I need to urinate"

No idea what those who don't get the reference make of it grin

DawnOfTheDee Sat 18-May-13 19:14:56

Oh we also use "I need to snip off a length of dirty spine" for a poo....

You can always go and "turn your bike round", which seems to be a local saying here.

I have no idea whether I ever say it TBH, I don't tend to announce it to any other adults anyway, only if maybe we are all about to go out and I'll say I'm just going to go to the loo. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if an adult said going for a wee to me though.

TheCutOfYourJib Sat 18-May-13 19:15:20

But you're right op, no need to know.
I was at my friends and said, "I'm off to the loo", ds piped up "She means she's doing a wee doesn't she, she's just being silly" cos he'd not heard me say that before!

I often go to 'snip off one of Bungle's fingers' only at home though, work is strictly weeing only.

CluelessNewbie1 Sat 18-May-13 19:18:56

I'm heavily pregnant and this made me chuckle so much I no longer need to 'use the facilities'!

notbotheredreally Sat 18-May-13 19:20:52

my work mate used to announce `im going to wet my beard love `blush

ouryve Sat 18-May-13 19:21:38

One needs to powder one's nose.

Or, after a few drinks, I'm off for a wazz.

ouryve Sat 18-May-13 19:23:14

For a poo, I'm off to give birth.

Always makes those who know that DS2 was born on the loo grin grin

Bumpotato Sat 18-May-13 19:24:41

If we're out and about DH always says "I'm off to inspect the facilities" when going for a No.2.

crashdoll Sat 18-May-13 19:29:14

YABU. I find "going to the loo" much more common than "I'm going to do a wee" which I would never ever announce at work anyway. I hate 'lav' as well as 'loo'.

Katla Sat 18-May-13 19:37:02

My mum says she's 'off for a quick piddle' - that makes me cringe.

DH informs me he's 'off to get the toilet' (what and bring it back??) or he's 'dropping the kids off at the pool' (which is just vile).

I just slink away quietly without announcing. however this approach means people don't know where you've gone and search the house looking to find you and you have to shout through door 'I'm in the loo'. Which can be worse I guess.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 19:39:40

I judge intensely anyone who announces that they're "Going for a wee", unless they're very young!

That's awfully clumsy phrasing.

I'm judging you intensely for not phrasing it better.

Then i'm off for a wee.

Only on Mumsnet can someone take offence at something completely and utterly inoffensive. I've been saying it for 40 years

ShowOfHands Sat 18-May-13 19:40:54

My Mum goes to 'spend a penny'.

I despise it.

Ezza1 Sat 18-May-13 19:45:04

I have heard men saying they are "off to drain the main vein" for a number 1 wink

And "dropping the kids at the pool" for a number 2....

I really couldn't care less what people say. I must be common.

Numberlock Sat 18-May-13 19:48:07

Reminds me of the time we had a young and inexperienced receptionist at a company where I used to work. Someone rang up to speak to the MD and she told the caller he was unavailable as he was on the toilet. grin

everlong Sat 18-May-13 19:49:15

I say it. I also add me at the end.

Stems back to an in joke from when I was about 14. blush

DystopianReality Sat 18-May-13 19:52:21

Oh I do agree with you.

Maybe 'my renal funtion has just kicked in and I need to void'!

OP - would you prefer adults to murmur that they were going to urinate, or void their bladders?

Altinkum Sat 18-May-13 19:55:31

Of fuck that.....

I'm off to pot the brown!


DystopianReality Sat 18-May-13 19:55:44

Bumpotato 'Away for a it.

gabsid Sat 18-May-13 19:56:56

I do think its awfully common to anounce that one intends to go to the 'loo'!

I only go to the bathroom.

Buzzardbird Sat 18-May-13 19:58:10

Off to part the whiskers ...

<Op wilts>

CointreauVersial Sat 18-May-13 20:05:49

"wet my beard" eeeew!grin grin

I don't like it when men say they are off "for a slash" as I always imagine them hosing down the whole bathroom in a somewhat slapdash way.

Anyway, I don't have a Percy, so I'm off to "point Alice at the Armitage".

Bumpotato Sat 18-May-13 20:10:57

I used to work with a bloke I didn't get along with. If I took a call for him when he was out of the office I always said he was away to the toilet. Even if he was out for lunch or in a meeting.

Nobhead Sat 18-May-13 20:11:44

May I offer some further alternatives?
Going for a piss
A Pat Cash
Expelling my bladder of the excess urine that has collected due to my fluid intake earlier.

I like to be specific as people may think you are going for a dump which is frankly just plain embarrassing.

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 20:16:20

"Loo" is far more acceptable than "Toilet".

If I hear someone say they "Need a wee", I realise that they were brought-up in a rough, uncultured home.

StuntGirl Sat 18-May-13 20:16:29

Aww bless you OP, you tried so hard to be goady and no one was biting grin

dementedma Sat 18-May-13 20:17:38

Shake the lettuce? Never heard of that one and don't see the connection.
Is " I need the bog" common?

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 20:19:01

If I was being goady, I would have chosen a much better subject!

Pollydon Sat 18-May-13 20:21:33

At work, if senior manager in the room
Excuse me for a moment
If hes not in
Im off for a piss/wazz/slash/wet my lettuce.
I must be common as muck grin

HeffalumpTheFlump Sat 18-May-13 20:23:53

I say "I need a wee" so I must be common. I'd rather be common than a judgemental snob. grin there you go stuntgirl wink

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 20:26:10

In Wales when you say my name is... it sounds like 'ad a wee.

So my son's teacher was saying "Mrs Jones 'ad a wee"

OP, you'd piss yourself if you had to sit in Welsh class.

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 20:26:12

I'd rather not sound like I'm in the throes of potty-training.

Tweasels Sat 18-May-13 20:26:58

"I'm going for a piss out me flaps"

I save this phrase for when I'm in really elite company. Like you OP.

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 20:27:17

I do sit in a Welsh class! Toiledau is often a subject of discussion in the staffroom.

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 20:28:42

PopUp ydw i you mean?

Mumof3men Sat 18-May-13 20:29:54

I'm not common, I went to grammar school! :-)

It really isn't anything I have ever thought of until reading this thread.
I shall be consciously listening to my colleagues this week, I'm pretty sure we nearly all say 'I need a wee,' usually accompanied by a dance as all of us try to go at break time!
I would NEVER do the other at work anyway!

Branleuse Sat 18-May-13 20:32:25

its completely inoffensive.

TheCountessOlenska Sat 18-May-13 20:32:44

My mother, who is the authority on all things posh, says she's "off for a wazz" and yet she visibly flinches when DD asks to go to the "toilet" confused

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 20:34:07

Yes, Chocs away ydw i

or should that be Chocs Away visited the lavatory?

Sorry OP, what is it you want us to say if had a wee displeases you?

Are you insisting we say loo? Some people think that's very common and the sign of a rough upbringing in a council house, with nothing but a sausage roll to look forward to.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sat 18-May-13 20:35:31

I say the wee/slash thing. I must have been raised in a rough uncultured home smile

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 20:36:46

Not everyone in Wales lives like that Chocs.

Yes, just go without having to mention it, or say you're going to the loo. Not difficult.

Boomba Sat 18-May-13 20:41:19

Loo! Loo? Loo?

Don't be so twee

AnnaFiveTowns Sat 18-May-13 20:43:25

Can somebody less common than me kindly explain what the issue with the word "toilet" is? I've heard people taking offence at this word before and have absolutely no idea why. Also, if you don't use that word, what do you use? I'm genuinely intrigued.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 20:46:48

Not everyone in Wales lives like that Chocs.

but I DO live in Wales and I was raised in a council house! I'm proud of my roots and will continue to wee away. Besides I do have to tell people where I'm going otherwise my children follow me.

Boomba Sat 18-May-13 20:46:59

I don't think people are offended by 'toilet' are they?

But then, I never imagined, having a 'wee' was a problem, so likely I'm wrong...

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 20:47:48

I'm sticking with wee.

Loo is a horrid word. hmm

beitou Sat 18-May-13 20:49:54

Bleed my lizard

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 20:51:27

Actually, I've got a Whizz so I can wee behind bushes.

I'm practically a cave woman.

AnnaFiveTowns Sat 18-May-13 20:52:24

Boomba - Some people do take offence at the word "toilet". Saw it on a previous thread on here. And read about it in a novel. But I have no idea why???

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 20:56:02

Yes, I know you live in Wales. You said "ydw i" is just like "had a wee". Lovely.


Boomba Sat 18-May-13 20:57:25

Well then, they are mentallers anna

Hemlet Sat 18-May-13 21:02:58

I'm going for a weevil kinival (sp?)

My friend says off to visit Mrs Murphy - no idea why

MrsRickyMartin Sat 18-May-13 21:31:57

DH says he is going to drain the lizard or say hi to John Thomas.

Passmethecrisps Sat 18-May-13 21:34:36

Micturate. I need to micturate

Nicknamefail Sat 18-May-13 21:37:54

stuntgirl you have hit the nail on the head. I suspected baiting at first, but when OP said how common it was for the umpthteen time I was sure.
Oh, and I am off for a wee now.

Oopla Sat 18-May-13 21:45:55

Loosen up

Gruntfuttock Sat 18-May-13 21:46:39

I remember visiting friends of my parents when I was about 11 and the man getting up and announcing "I'm just going to shake hands with my wife's best friend".

Well i must be mega common as we wee on each others wee as loo only gets flushed for number 2 n at end day with glug bleach left in loo. Husband is into saving water n money.

Even my 2yr old announced at dinner daddy weed on your wee n i weed on daddy wee - he does flush though as all part toilet training

crashdoll Sat 18-May-13 21:58:33

OP, at private school, children are not sent to the loo, it's the toilet. That is part of the admission test. They point to the doors of the 'facilities' and ask children to ask to use them. If you say "loo", then you are condemned to a life of state education.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sat 18-May-13 22:00:53

I say wee wee blush

or pee

or piss

Velve Sat 18-May-13 22:02:52

Now, I'm a bloody foreigner so forgive me if I am wrong, but I was taught that the term "commoner" refers to anyone who is not in possession of a title of nobility.
So using "commoner" as a derisive word to describe people of your own rank and status seems a bit dumb.
Unless you are of nobility, OP, in which case do continue.

Clary Sat 18-May-13 22:10:08

Lol at work I say I must go to the loo, but at home I would say I'm just going for a wee, what's wrong with that?

I hate hate hate it when people use silly euphemisms like the toilet (which actually means doing your hair and face and teeth in the morning) or worse, the bathroom. Toilet is hideously common. Proper posh folk say lavatory.

Kids drive me mad at school when they say "I need toilet" I make them ask me properly before I let them go. grin

Gruntfuttock Sat 18-May-13 22:11:03

Velve, you seem to be confusing two words. The OP said "common" not "commoner". They are not interchangeable.

Velve Sat 18-May-13 22:20:18

Yes, I know OP said "common", it's hard to miss as it said so many times. She did also say "commoners".

It just amuses me, that's all.

Caitycat Sat 18-May-13 22:30:52

It's "common" (if you care) to use a naice euphemism for it, mil always says "I'm going to pay a call" which annoys me intensely for no real reason. If you need to mention it (and sometimes you do) it is far better to come out with it "I'm going for a wee" doesn't upset me at all, in fact I probably say it myself (although as someone else has said I wouldn't at work). I hope op is slightly tongue in cheek when she says she wouldn't be friends with someone over something this petty!

persimmon Sat 18-May-13 22:32:54

Men can point Percy at the porcelain.

My friend strains her vegetables.

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat Sat 18-May-13 22:34:02

I never go for a wee / to the loo, I always nip. Not sure why.

If in polite company: 'I just need to nip to the loo'
More casual company: 'I just need to nip for a wee'

Does anyone else 'nip' rather than 'go'?

BarredfromhavingStella Sat 18-May-13 22:40:24

Oh dear, going for a slash is mine though I am as common as muck tbf blush

Sorelip Sat 18-May-13 22:42:42

I have been known to state 'I neeeeed a wee!' but it's a nod to Green Wing more than anything.

Montybojangles Sat 18-May-13 22:44:12

Seriously, you think any of us care enough about what you think about us as far as something so insignificant is concerned to give a toss?

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss

ChocsAwayInMyGob Sat 18-May-13 22:56:35

Agree with Monty. The term Wee is used so often by so many people that you may as well resign yourself to the fact that it is now accepted vernacular.

StuntGirl Sat 18-May-13 23:02:21

I know nickname, it was like everyone was politely ignoring it while continuing to use the phrase grin

I am recoiling in horror at some of these expressions though!

PopUpWorkshop Sat 18-May-13 23:11:14

What? "Common"? Yes, it is. Very common.

Hilarious post about a test to get into "private school" involving the word "toilet"! I've always attended and worked in private schools. You'd be laughed at for saying "I need a wee". As you would in any normal state school - unless you're in Reception class! grin

CSIJanner Sat 18-May-13 23:11:25

LMAO on this. Found an entire site dedicated to euphemisms:

Talking to grandma slowly
Changing the water on the goldfish
Draining the sleepy weasel
Flushing my buffers
Freshen my snapple
Lower the water level
Splashing the pirate

And my all time favourite given the cost of it all, paying my water bill.

I might just confuse the hell out of DC tomorrow

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat Sat 18-May-13 23:16:23

I work in a state secondary and frequently have teenagers say to me "I need a wee, Miss, can I go to the loo?' Naice MC kids too. Guess they're the ones who failed the facilities question at private school wink.

Irishchic Sat 18-May-13 23:20:33

You're right OP. I prefer to say " Do excuse me, I am just popping out to the lavatory so that I may expel the contents of my bladder."

I am incredibly civilised me.

CSIJanner Sat 18-May-13 23:29:25

Irishchic Don't forget standing up and loudly announcing "Excuse me but I have the urge to defecate"

ODearMe Sat 18-May-13 23:30:07

My DM always announces she is going to 'spend a penny'.

DameFanny Sat 18-May-13 23:30:51

I rarely need to tell anyone at work, but if I need five minutes between meetings to get another coffee and have a wazz, I might say "off for a fluid exchange". Will that do OP?

Doubtfuldaphne Sat 18-May-13 23:53:32

My mil "goes to the cloaks"
The cloaks!
I can only imagine its derived from the cloakroom but it confuses a lot of people when she asks where 'the cloaks' are in restaurants!

Also I am so embarrassed after reading this post - I never ever thought anything of saying I need a wee.. I even told my boss on my first day at work and he looked at me like something he'd just trodden in.

DeWe Sun 19-May-13 00:12:14

Dm brought us up to say "spend a penny". There was a Noddy story entitled "Noddy spends a penny" which we thought was very funny. No one would understand that round here I suspect.

Or we have the latin phase:
"itis apis potan itis abigun"

Irishchic Sun 19-May-13 00:15:42

CSI wouldnt dream of phrasing it in any other way! grin

starsandunicorns Sun 19-May-13 00:37:03

I work in a office on my own if i leave i walk pass another and have to say i am leaving so they know to answer my office bell. So I shout as I am passing "going to the loo" ( which is up 2 flights of stairs)

My friend says shaking her lettece

ComposHat Sun 19-May-13 03:09:59

I spent years saying 'I'm away for a Jimmy Rimmer' blissfully unaware that cockney rhyming slang is Jimmy Riddle and that Jimmy Rimmer was the Villa goalkeeper in the late 70s/early 80s.

ToffeeWhirl Sun 19-May-13 03:35:15

I say nothing or, if I have to, say I'm going to the loo. Never say 'toilet' (very common!).

MIL always says she's "busting".


Yes, wee is very common isn't it? Most people seem to use it. <<deliberately obtuse>>

Seriously, I have no problem with wee. Wee-wee on the other hand is a step to far - very childish.

I have an irrational dislike of pee though. No idea why? Maybe because the only time I hear it said in RL is by doctors so never a good thing. I also deeply dislike lav, which is very common. My mum thought loo was common too, without being able to explain why.

I have no idea why 'toilet' is common either. Again, some people keep saying it is but nobody ever gives a satisfactory explanation of why.

Gooseysgirl Sun 19-May-13 04:58:13

At home my DH sometimes says he's going to 'log on', does it to get a reaction though! My DSis told me that her DH announces to her 'There's an enemy at the gates'. At work I don't tend to announce it, I just slink off... At home I say I'm off to spend a penny or I'm just nipping to the loo.

Doingakatereddy Sun 19-May-13 05:43:45

I'm getting annoyed at the OP's overuse of exclamation marks, in truth I find it very common.

I've been for a pee, DH is having a slash, DS was woken up to have a wee wee and darling DD (6weeks) is farting. We're an episode of shameless in this house

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 19-May-13 07:46:59

I always say I need to pee. In whatever company. Who cares? And common? Give over.

OnTheNingNangNong Sun 19-May-13 08:01:13

Incredible We 'nip' to the loo/ for a wee too.

seeker Sun 19-May-13 08:04:50

What's wrong with "excuse me"?

selsigfach Sun 19-May-13 08:30:24

Where we in Wales, "dw i isio (i want) pee pee" is often used, which does make me shudder a little.
Toilet/loo are both common, right? I would ask for directions to the bathroom or just say "excuse me" if I knew where it was.

selsigfach Sun 19-May-13 08:31:19

*where we are

SoupDragon Sun 19-May-13 08:38:01

Having skimmed though the thread, I have come to the conclusion that anyone who thinks, and keeps stating, that "going for a wee" is common is a raging snob and thus not worthy of any attention.


gillywillywoo Sun 19-May-13 08:38:24

I say it in work all the time grin

I work in an office/technical environment and I'm the only female... The men all vary in age but I get along with all of them and we are quite a close knit small team....
If you don't announce where you're going in my work then people get a bit funny... There's one guy that just buggers off for 15-20 mins at a time and we still don't really know what he gets up to (he's new and we don't like him haha)
So the guys say "just going for a fag"... "Just getting a coffee"... One of them every afternoon says "right I'm off for a poo".. I THINK he's joking but probably not... We just all laugh.
So I always say "I'm going for a wee" and they chuckle to themselves.

gillywillywoo Sun 19-May-13 08:42:46

Infact the other day in work I was drinking a lot of water and I put the phone down and said out loud "shit I might actually wet myself.. Sorry guys.. Back in a sec,.. Need a wee!"

If there were important people around I probably wouldn't say it but we are a team of 6 (me and 5 blokes who are all very funny guys) so we crack jokes all day and have a laugh...I've heard THEM say much worse so I really don't care that I say I'm going for a wee!

MusicalEndorphins Sun 19-May-13 08:52:42

I don't think anyone, even children, need to announce what they are going to do in the bathroom. Cannot stand to hear a child announce, especially within hearing range of others, that they need to poo or pee. It is TMI. If they are old enough to talk, they are old enough to say they need to use the washroom/bathroom/restroom or whatever people say in the area where they live.
IMHO. smile

ComposHat Sun 19-May-13 09:06:24

For when a gentleman must micturate, any of the following will do...

I'm just away to...

Unbutton the mutton

Splash the boots

Shake hands with the wife's best friend/the unemployed

Drain the wizzard

Strain the potatoes

Hang out with the big knobs

NinaHeart Sun 19-May-13 09:08:56

My male (aged 25 if that matters) colleague announces he is "going to the bathroom". He is not American, it is not a bathroom and it annoys the hell out of me.

Dawndonna Sun 19-May-13 09:14:51

What? "Common"? Yes, it is. Very common.

Hilarious post about a test to get into "private school" involving the word "toilet"! I've always attended and worked in private schools. You'd be laughed at for saying "I need a wee". As you would in any normal state school - unless you're in Reception class!
I have no idea what sort of independent schools you have attended or chosen to work in, are they those little nurseries? Because let's face it, most teens are going to the bog. Most teens will say if they need a wee, most adults do.
As the granddaughter of a couple of Lords, I use the lavatory if out, and if I need a wee at home say so.
If I heard you wittering about the loo and other such twee forms, I'd know exactly where you were brought up, and it certainly wasn't where you are trying to claim. You're not posh, just an insufferable snob.

topsyandturvy Sun 19-May-13 09:21:06

I hate it too.

Whats wrong with excuse me I just need to use the loo, bathroom, toilet, washroom or whatever depending on where you are from?

Acandlelitshadow Sun 19-May-13 09:29:00

Gotta love Wiki grin

Off to drain the dragon wink

ComposHat Sun 19-May-13 09:31:23

Point the Pink Pistol at the Porcelain Firing Range!!!!

Acandlelitshadow Sun 19-May-13 09:33:09

Ohhh. Jimmy Riddle. Used to love that one!

Re-adds to peasanty repertoire grin

crashdoll Sun 19-May-13 09:37:18

"Hilarious post about a test to get into "private school" involving the word "toilet"! I've always attended and worked in private schools. You'd be laughed at for saying "I need a wee". As you would in any normal state school - unless you're in Reception class!"

Major sense of humour failure, dude! grin As you appear not to get it, I was taking the WEE out of your snobbishness. Get it now?

seeker Sun 19-May-13 09:54:49

However, I do know, for real and in my actual real life, a couple who turned down an applicant for a job as their nanny because she said "Pleased to meet you".

AshokanFarewell Sun 19-May-13 10:07:02

I usually say I'm just popping to the bathroom. Or sometimes nip, like Incredible. This winds my dad up as he says it's a loo, not a bathroom, unless it has a bath/shower.

I don't really understand why people use different sayings depending what they're going to be doing as, personally, I'd prefer not to know exactly what others are doing in the bathroom, but I'm a bit of a prude smile

ComposHat Sun 19-May-13 10:17:37

I hate bathroom for toilet, it is a creeping Americanism and I don't see why we Europeans who have no puritanical hang ups about pissing and shitting should start using their puritanical mealy mouthed word for the toilet.

I used to have a job at a tourist attraction and used to relieve the boredom by feigning ignorance at all the daft euphemisms for the toilet. 'Comfort station' for fuck's sake!???

cinnamonsugar Sun 19-May-13 10:36:03

I wish MN would start a 'Am I Hyacinth Bucket?' sub-forum of AIBU smile

orangeandemons Sun 19-May-13 11:03:21

My colleague says "I need to do weeing"

Is that acceptable?

cherryade8 Sun 19-May-13 13:08:46

Yanbu. I dislike it too, I don't need to know what they are doing in the loo. Presumably if they are being honest about their toileting soon we'll be told 'im just going to change my tampon/poo etc'.

Just say you're going to the loo, we don't need to know the details!

Going for a Brad.
Dropping anchor in poo bay (can also be used as a gay euphemism).
Shaking the lettuce
Cracking the porcelain
Syphon the Python

Gruntfuttock Sun 19-May-13 13:22:19

Dawndonna said
"If I heard you wittering about the loo and other such twee forms, I'd know exactly where you were brought up, and it certainly wasn't where you are trying to claim. You're not posh, just an insufferable snob."

which really surprised me. I say 'loo' and don't consider that to be twee at all. No, I agree that I'm not posh but I am not an insufferable snob either. Is 'loo' really considered to be a Hyacinth Bucket type of word?

crashdoll Sun 19-May-13 13:27:04

I never knew expressing the need to relieve oneself was such a minefield!

DisappointedHorse Sun 19-May-13 13:44:57

I'm a nipper! I use loo and wee interchangeably but I'd say loo if I was going for a poo.

The horror of using the word toilet and other non-U words does amuse me. Just because the upper classes say it, well it must be right.

afk, IF2P

ComposHat Sun 19-May-13 14:30:12


Going for... an Eartha (Kitt)
Droping the kids off at the pool
give birth to an Otter
putting up the ass jack.
building a log cabin
crimp one off.

DameFanny Sun 19-May-13 17:04:42

Dawndonna I know it's not what you mean by granddaughter of a couple of Lords, but I can help picturing a couple of ermine-clad chaps holding hands at the register office grin

Dawndonna Sun 19-May-13 17:05:51

DameFanny 1 mug of tea all over keyboard. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! grin

DameFanny Sun 19-May-13 17:42:52


RubyGates Sun 19-May-13 17:46:48

Titles all over the place here...
And we all "go for a wee"

Or "use the facilities" if we're, erm, taking the piss.

Decoy Sun 19-May-13 18:17:16

Most polite is not to announce it at all!

Decoy Sun 19-May-13 18:18:35

> a rough, uncultured home.

No-one serious would say that, would they? grin

WildlingPrincess Sun 19-May-13 18:20:40

I say it. It's better than 'I need to piss'. Which I'd prefer to say to be honest.

ChunkyPickle Sun 19-May-13 18:33:55

In adult company I wouldn't announce at all (or would say that I'm going to the toilet if I have to explain myself for some odd reason).

If DS is present you would hate me, because I pointedly tell him 'Mama's going for a wee-wee' - but in my defence we're trying to persuade him to potty train, and if I tell him where I'm going then he's less likely to roam the house yelling for me until he finds me.

Jengnr Sun 19-May-13 18:36:02

Anyone who says 'loo' is a massive bellend!

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat Sun 19-May-13 19:02:56

I'm strangely pleased that I'm not the only nipper! I wonder if I nip as a way of apologising for the fact I have to leave the room and as a implied promise that I'll be quick.

Jengnr - I can't stand the word bellend. The kids who used that word when I was in school were the same as those who found it hilarious to draw a penis in a school book.

PiratePanda Sun 19-May-13 19:05:49

Better than my ex-MIL who used to announce Loudly to all and sundry "I just need to go and empty my blaaaader"


overprotection Sun 19-May-13 19:07:28

So in summary the only sure way not to be judged negatively when you need to expel waste is to wear a nappy and do it without going to the loo.

Yabu, I'm off for a weegrin

FarBetterNow Sun 19-May-13 19:12:39

Long live the class system in this country.

RubyGates Sun 19-May-13 19:17:56

Actually, it turns out that we tend to say "pee" rather than "wee". I just noticed. grin

OP, You're still BU

Ilovemyself Sun 19-May-13 19:24:55

If that is all you have to worry about your life must be pretty perfect lol.

vladthedisorganised Sun 19-May-13 20:12:02

Nobody's mentioned "nature calls" or "off to see a man about a dog" yet, have they?
I don't announce. If anyone asks, I'm off for a slash, or if Dd is asking, I'm off to the loo.

orangeandemons Sun 19-May-13 21:27:54

Dropping Anchor in Pooh Bay

I love that! Never heard it before!

WaitingForMe Sun 19-May-13 21:47:54

"I need to urine" uttered by a guy I'd gone for a drink with. He then went behind a tree despite our apartment building being in site.

He then proceeded to hit on me and couldn't understand why I wasn't interested!

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