AIBU To Resign Over This?(45 Posts)
Can't say too much as obviously have to protect confidentiality.
I'm a primary teacher in a small private school. I've been trying to tell management since the first week of the year that a particular child in my class has severe behavioural difficulties and requires constant 1:1 support (and certainly far more than my TA and I can reasonably provide when we have 25 other children to think of too). He is completely out of control and cannot be left alone for a second. He frequently hurts other children and shows no remorse. In fact he usually finds it hilarious. I took some observations of him to show my old tutor way back in October. She took one look at them and said, 'This is a child with special needs.'
Yet management are in denial. They say, 'You just need to distract him with something' ... 'He's doing quite well really. Look at his writing' .... 'He's just upset because his parents have separated. You just need to give him lots of hugs and he'll be fine.'
Last week he attacked another child so badly that she had to be blue-lighted to hospital. Still management are not taking the issues seriously enough in my view. The parents have been called in and spoken to, yet the child is being slowed to remain in class without no extra support.
I'm seriously considering threatening to resign, saying I am concerned for the safety of the other children. I could not honestly tell their parents that I feel able to keep them safe. I also fear the consequences for my own career if there were to be another serious incident like this.
AIBU to kick up a huge fuss over this do you think, possibly even threatening to go to the press?
Do small Private Schools have SENCOs?
I'm not a teacher but I do work in the media. "Going to the press" would be career suicide.
I'd have thought that what might force the Head's hand is complaints by other parents. However, don't know how that would pan out for the child in question.
Sorry, don't know anything about the Private system
Look for another job and then resign. Why aren't the other parents withdrawing their children if they are being badly hurt by this child and the school isn't doing anything about it?
You MUST speak to your union. If you're not in one, join. Now. Tonight. You need a high level of support from out with the school. Now, now, now.
Who's above "management"? Do you have a governing body?
If a child was so seriously injured that they needed hospital treatment as a result then were the police involved? If it was an assault then they should have been, surely?
Have you got these concerns you've raised in writing?
What does your union advise? What does your TA think?
You need to put your concerns in writing and send the letter to the management - use recorded delivery to ensure that they can't deny receiving it.
You also need to contact your union for advice.
This happened to me. Something was only done when the poor child attacked a member of SMT - typical! Just something to ponder...
I would DP everything I possibly could to bring written attention to this to your managers - if they still won't listen, then yes I would look for a job elsewhere and tell the parents before I left that I thought their child may have SEN, and if they agreed they would be best to pursue diagnosis outside of the school.
Is that the right thing? I don't know.
I don't think going to the press will help you or the boy though.
A child being rushed for hospital treatment following an attack by another child is going to lead to a slew of parental complaints. It can't be kept quiet.
Sorry to be blunt, but is the school likely to sacrifice you to try to save its reputation.
Whatever you decide to do about your future at this establishment, you might want to make sure you have secured your own copies of any records you made of discussions with SMT about this child's behaviour, plus requests for additional support, plus documents showing you shared your observations with appropriate colleagues.
Private schools - at any rate, the selective ones - don't really do SEN. How did the child get in?
Don't put yourself at risk- you'll get nothing back. Except possibly the sack. Never ever threaten to resign unless you mean it - the school may jump at the chance to get rid of trouble.
Aren't the parents complaining on this - including those of the child who has sen?
blue lighted to hospital?! Wow, surely the parents have been in in droves to complain?
At the averaged sized private school where I work we get parental complaints when a child kicks, bites, punches or throws something at another child (I think that's correct by the way, I'm not moaning at parents just saying that such a major incident has surely not gone unnoticed!)
What's the SEN policy like at your school? Ours is considered the go to private school in our area for non academic and special needs children but, if a child is unable to access the curriculum or control their behaviour even as part of the SEN department and with 2Xweekly extra lessons/counselling support, then they have to have a 1:1 or leave the school. And the 1:1 will not be funded by the LEA as the parents have opted out of the state system so the parents pay for it themselves.
So if yours is anything like ours then, unless the parents can and will pay for a 1:1, then I don't see how you can be expected to keep the child.
Honestly, FFS, what is wrong with the school, headmaster, etc? I think you need to lose your fucking cool and tell them to deal with it. I would walk the child into the headteacher's to deal with, no kidding. I would also contact your union pronto. Or the local police. Whatever it takes.
I am actually getting pissed off (not you OP) at how spineless teachers are on AIBU and moan and whinge endlessly whilst doing nothing about terrible situations. But you have my big sympathy too, there can be a price to pay, unless of course you are very political and clever about it, do that if you can.
This is a safeguarding issue. I suggest you contact the socisl services access centre or duty social worker to discuss it with them.
For goodness sake, do something! This child will only escalate it's bad behaviour until something serious happens (it might have already occurred). As a teacher you have a responsibility to protect the other children from the little shit. As someone else has said on here, create a paper trail from you to the head. If one of my children was being picked on and I found out that staff were allowing it to continue, the head would be looking at an inquiry.
A "small private school" with 25 or 26 pupils in a class?
A pupil behaving so violently that another classmate is blue-lighted to hospital and none of the parents have withdrawn their children?
Contact your union as a matter of urgency.
the union won't help. Only you know if you WBU, I have resigned over kids' behaviour but only when I had another job to go to and not just one kid (although I'm not primary.)
But wetspringday, doesn't that just make things continue, ad infinitum, the sense of fatalism and lack of responsibility continuing to your successor? I can understand that you need to protect your well-being and your mental health, but equally how could you "take the rap" for the bad behaviour of other people, even if you found another job to go to? Honest question. But I notice you put kids' behaviour, not kid's behaviour, so I am assuming you were outnumbered. Even so, why don't teachers go for the jugular here?
How well do you get on with the parents of the badly injured child? (hope s/he is recovering well by the way)
Could you confidentially confide in them that you are worried about the dangerous boy and the lack of support you're getting from the head and ask them to make a really really serious complaint (I'm sure they must be thinking about it anyway) that is not only complaining about the incident but their worries for their dc's future safety. Obviously get them to agree not to mention you or agree a way between you whereby it looks like they approached you and you answered their questions honestly along the lines of not being able to guarantee it won't happen again to their child or any other as nothing has changed from when the incident happened. But done in such a way that you can't be accused of breaching child confidentiality!
Sounds like a horrible position to be in for everybody concerned (except management ream who are dealing with it by not bothering to be concerned).
What do the child's parents say? Do they acknowledge that actually nice handwriting doesn't actually alway correlate with a nicely behaved child; that there can be children with nice handwriting and sen?
Agree union won't help. The school will do anything to maintain its reputation. Just do your best to get another job as soon as you can. Also agree 25-26 does seem large for a private school class.
Zipzap - that's not how private schools operate in my experience. The child's parents will be unlikely to make a fuss at the perceived risk of jeopardising his place at the school and the school will want to keep their 'customers' happy as they want the school fees.
So, it seems to me that nothing will happen until someone grows a pair and actually does something. Sorry people, teachers need to be able to stop finnyfannying about and get things changed. Difficult I accept but there MUST be a route where this type of problem can be stopped.
Am I being naive?
26 in a private school. Wow.
You have been advised by the school to give a child in your class 'lots of hugs'? Really?
OhLori - sorry, only just saw your question. Ideally yes, fight it out, but in reality, what can you actually do? From bitter experience the union do very little to help and can actually exacerbate certain situations.
You need the head to observe this child in the classroom and playground. How old is the child? What is the behaviour management policy? You must contact the governors. You must make file notes about every incident.
The usual procedure, when a child is acting in a destructive manner is to remove all the other children from the classroom and leave the individual in the room. Remember to use mitten hands when restraining.
This does not sound like a supportive school to work in regardless of the current situation.
How many years have you been teaching?
If you are an nqt you can contact the nqt induction panel.
I think it's believable.
DS went to a tiny private school that defied all the stereotypes that MNers seem to expect of private schools.
YANBU, I think I'd have to resign, too.
I know nothing about private schools, but if I were paying for my children to attend private school, I would want a smaller class size than 25.
My children only have 22 and 23 in their respective primary classes.
If you are not a member of a union already, I would advise you to join one as a matter of urgency.
Masirah..the child is not a "little shit".
The union will not do anything.
"Could you confidentially confide in them that you are worried about the dangerous boy and the lack of support you're getting from the head and ask them to make a really really serious complaint"
Don't do this. You may well be heading for the centre of a shit storm anyhow (which is why you need copies of all relevant documents) and adding a major breach of confidentiality is guaranteed to make your position worse.
Little shit?! Nice. Poor little boy probably has special needs. What do his parents say about it.
My ds has severe ADHD and I am mortified when he hurts another child! I am also pushing for help and support for him. Can you pull the parents in for a meeting and express your concern and ask if he is the same at home?
My ds hurts other children through reactions to his sensory processing disorder. Not an excuse? He has no understanding of other people's feelings at all. Does not make him a little shit!
Re: Career Suicide. I want to get out anyway and have done so since long before this incident. The management is very poor and there are all kinds of problems. Children are allowed to run wild and the place is anarchy. There is also financial trouble. In fact this may end up killing it off ultimately, we'll have to see.
Interesting point about the police being contacted. That honestly hadn't occurred to me as the child is only 6 years old.
Anyway, I have already revealed far too much and need to stop posting now. Thank you for your views everyone.
Good luck. It sounds as if you are in a horrible position.
So year 1 or year 2. As a teacher myself, in the same age range in the independent sector I am shocked at this. You need to get references if you leave. I would start applying elsewhere immediately. Please don't let this damage your future. Is it only one form entry? Do you have other colleagues who teach this child for music/ PE?
Would this be a non-traditional school, perhaps? Of the sort that we aren't supposed to mention on Mumsnet?
That would explain the lack of management reaction to those incidents. If that is the case, and you're working at one of those schools that must not be named, I would suggest quietly looking for alternative employment. The situation won't change and you will do yourself no favours by going to the press.
hi, another primary school teacher in small private shcool here. Have been in the exact same situation as yourself.
It's not a safeguarding issue and and your union cannot help.
You need to document and log everything this child does that arouses concern in great detail.
Then you need to have a formal meeting with his parents where you voice your concerns. if you have the parents on your side, the battle is half over. His parents should make an appointment with their gp taking a formal report of the child's behaviour with them. The child will hopefully then get a referall. I have just been through this process myself, once I won the parents over the child got a referral.
Is it a Steiner/ Montessori school?
Two kids at my school had a fight on Friday and one was taken to hospital in an ambulance. The call also triggered the police, who turned up to investigate. Apparently this is normal. If a child was "blue lighted" to hospital, why were the police not involved?
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