To wonder if this is a cultural thing and not like it?

(101 Posts)
AMAZINWOMAN Thu 16-May-13 17:38:05

In my office we have many volunteers. One of them only gives a "high five" to other black colleagues.

I really dont think the office is the place for a high five anyway, but if it is a cultural thing, then I am wary of saying something.

Is it a culture thing?

GoofyIsACow Thu 16-May-13 17:40:36


ShatnersBassoon Thu 16-May-13 17:42:18

It's a friends thing, I imagine.

Is black a culture?? I'm confused....and I'm with Goofy

OHforDUCKScake Thu 16-May-13 17:43:34


MrsRajeshKoothrappali Thu 16-May-13 17:45:39

I expect they just like each other.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 16-May-13 17:45:47

Cna you tell us what it is you don't like?

Is it the high five, or that you aren't included?

Are you sure it is only black colleagues that are included?

Or is it only friends that are included? (might be one and the same thing, in this case, or might not)

LEMisdisappointed Thu 16-May-13 17:46:06

high biscuit why does this bother you? are you jealous because you don't get slipped some skin?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 16-May-13 17:46:30

If you did say something, what would you say? - what would your complaint be?

sue52 Thu 16-May-13 17:46:43

More a young male person's thing and nothing to stress over IMO.

GoofyIsACow Thu 16-May-13 17:47:26

'Slipped some skin' grin

LEMisdisappointed Thu 16-May-13 17:47:50

oh and if they are volunteers, i should think that keeping it a laid back, friendly place to work is better than being all uptight, woldnt you think?

squoosh Thu 16-May-13 17:48:45

I had this awful David Brent type boss once who was very into high fiving. Made him all hip and down with da kidz doncha know!

He also used to cock one leg up on the table and vigorously play air guitar all the feckin' time, 'strumming' dangerously close to his displayed crotch area.

Ahhhh memories.

Cultural high fives? confused

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Thu 16-May-13 17:50:23

Two of my ex colleagues used to fuck each other while others did the work.

High fiving would've been a vast improvement.


Cloverer Thu 16-May-13 17:50:43

I don't remember the last time I saw anyone over the age of 10 high five grin

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 16-May-13 17:52:20


hahaha. Publicly???

JenaiMorris Thu 16-May-13 17:53:37


Gunznroses Thu 16-May-13 17:53:53

Yes its a cultural thing! Black people don't know how to "hand shake" only high five. Didn't you know? hmm this must be dealt with before it spreads!

MamaMumra Thu 16-May-13 17:54:13

grin @ is black a culture

I think you should get on with your work OP

MamaMumra Thu 16-May-13 17:54:53

Why don't you ask them OP? hmm

My last workplace contained two people who enjoyed groping each other very vigorously, and the man also enjoyed fiddling with himself, with the same energy, and just as publicly, so high fiving sounds okay.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 16-May-13 17:55:07

I love high fives. My quiz team high fives each other when we win. We're all old, and none of us is black. I do some voluntary work though, so there's your common denominator. I bet OP is on the payroll grin

lljkk Thu 16-May-13 17:56:04

Um, just ask the guy why he never high fives you if you think you're being left out?

I'm white and high-five people all the time but I am American so a cultural pleb, after all.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 16-May-13 18:24:55

I work with children and I high five them all the time, although I'm now worried they might be laughing at me behind my back for being so uncool

vivizone Thu 16-May-13 18:26:45

The op is a fool.

madonnawhore Thu 16-May-13 18:30:41

Lol @ feeling left out of high fives.

crazynanna Thu 16-May-13 18:39:21

High 5ing is so yesterday,anyway. Your colleagues must be in their late's all about The Spud now,OP wink Get with the programme..down on it..or whatever it is they say.

HoppinMad Thu 16-May-13 18:39:55

I really dont think the office is the place for a high five anyway

Well there's your answer op, next time they di a high five, do a self check to see if you are scowling/making a cats bum face.

Smudging Thu 16-May-13 18:40:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrLevanterSleet Thu 16-May-13 18:52:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moominsarehippos Thu 16-May-13 18:57:24

I haven't seen a hi-5 for donkeys. Maybe they are blokes. It seems to be more of a bloke thing. Do they do it with all the 'moves'?

complexnumber Thu 16-May-13 18:58:22

I'm a teacher, if a student does a good bit of work, I might high two or three them. If it is really good I might high 4 them.

I rarely high five.

Ok, maybe actually read your OP it may contain the answer.

If you do not think the office is the place for hi fiving confused then why the actual fuck would anyone hi five you?

I can confirm that hi fiving is not part of "black culture". I asked my DH grin
Maybe they just do not like you?

digerd Thu 16-May-13 19:54:09

Isn't a high 2 the V sign? Unless you keep the 2 fingers together?
I must be well out of touch.
I do the red indian "How" sign, come to think about it, and most of my peers do too - without touching. But do think it is a male thing, but my 70 year-old neighbour shakes hands with his male friends, but never femaleshmm

Stropzilla Thu 16-May-13 19:59:06

Dh and I hi 5 all the time. Sometimes we hi foot but I usually just end up getting kicked.

If it bothers you, float nearby and hold your hand up hopefully. Either you get the skin you so much desire, or be ignored and you will know it's less of a cultural thing, and more of a wanker thing.

A high 1 is a religions this. See this.

ShadeofViolet Thu 16-May-13 20:04:48

This thread reminded me of my first sales job. If we made a sale, we had to ring a bell.

Dont know why it made me think of that.

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 20:06:42

are you jealous because you don't get slipped some skin?


I have nothing else to say that made me laugh

phantomnamechanger Thu 16-May-13 20:08:13

OP - do you have a contagious skin disease?

you really are over thinking this - either that or it's a secret sign of a deadly cult. probably.

caramelwaffle Thu 16-May-13 20:10:58

(falls a little bit in love with complex)


Chottie Thu 16-May-13 20:11:32

This thread is hilarious - I think it is a wind up

I must remember 'slip some skin'wink

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 20:12:21

f it bothers you, float nearby and hold your hand up hopefully. Either you get the skin you so much desire or be ignored and you will know it's less of a cultural thing, and more of a wanker thing.

I think the 'bros' call that leaving you hanging,

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 20:12:46

This thread is hilarious - I think it is a wind up

but it is funny grin

extracrunchy Thu 16-May-13 20:12:55

This is hilarious. It has to be a joke...??

extracrunchy Thu 16-May-13 20:13:35

Jinx, mrsjay.

PopUpWorkshop Thu 16-May-13 20:15:30

Try bumping fists and calling them bro/sista. It'll be fine.

BenjaminButton172 Thu 16-May-13 20:17:43

Oooh can someone slip me some skin grin

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 20:19:23

OP: "em, excuse me mr black man. could i ask that you include everyone in the office in your high five greeting. it's not really an office thing but if you must do it could you include everyone please? unless of course it is your culture of being black that dictates you must do this. in which case i wont say anything." <offers palm for high five>

OP's colleague: confused <walks away>

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 20:28:16

^ ^5s benjamin dont leave me hanging dude or something like that

mrsjay Thu 16-May-13 20:31:56

>>leaves thread in huff cos i was left hanging <wail>>

IrritatingInfinity Thu 16-May-13 20:33:33

OP might find this useful if she feels left out. grin

DuttyWine Thu 16-May-13 20:38:10

It extends way beyond 'black culture' peeps... A couple of weeks ago it was national 'high 5 a ginger day!'

LEMisdisappointed Thu 16-May-13 20:43:51

Oh, the OP didn't come back - how disappointing

JesusInTheCabbageVan Thu 16-May-13 20:43:53

<High 5s mrsjay>

I don't know why they are not high fiving you OP. I presume you address them as "dawg" or some other culturally appropriate term? In which case I can't think what the problem might be.

crazynanna Thu 16-May-13 23:49:24

BenjaminButton172 I cannot be the only one who read that as "slip me some foreskin"

JenaiMorris Fri 17-May-13 05:40:25

lol at folk dancing MrLevanterSleet grin

JenaiMorris Fri 17-May-13 05:40:54

lol at folk dancing MrLevanterSleet grin

JenaiMorris Fri 17-May-13 05:43:06

lol at folk dancing MrLevanterSleet grin

munchkinmaster Fri 17-May-13 06:28:27

My baby does high 5 all the time. I have asked her,

"is it because you is black?"

She laughed and farted.

So there is your answer......

Euphemia Fri 17-May-13 06:42:27

Go up to one of them as if to High 5 them, then go "High 5, scuba dive" ie pull your hand down just as they're going to High 5 you. Then make the "loser" sign on your forehead.


Euphemia Fri 17-May-13 06:43:04

"is it because you is black?" grin

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Fri 17-May-13 06:57:19

Are they from the same culture?

1) there's not a 'Black Culture'
2) High Five is not a cultural thing

My health visitor asked if we'd cut our son's hair for cultural reasons. (he was a few weeks old)

I worked very hard on my Straight Face and said no, it was in his eyes. grin

Mind you, she's the same one who when told that my husband was born in Kenya, said that she'd been to india and started talking about saris. So, well, you know. Lights on but nobody home, really.

TheFallenNinja Fri 17-May-13 07:01:53

Are high fives insensitive to people missing a finger or two? Perhaps a high four or three would be better.

Branleuse Fri 17-May-13 07:04:42

I taught my babies to high five, then gimme some skin, then 'spec'

black people love us

Mondrian Fri 17-May-13 07:05:47

There is a huge difference between cultural sensitivity and cultural naivety - feel free to replace cultural with social.

hecsy my HV asked if there was a "cultural" reason we had cut ds1 hair as well. Well, no, it was because it was curly and knotty and in his eyes.

She also spent 10 minutes talking to my DH about Africa. My DH is Jamaican. confused

"Black culture" did make me laugh though.

KenDoddsDadsDog Fri 17-May-13 07:18:11

shadeofviolet we rang bells too. I'm sad there were no high fives now .

cory Fri 17-May-13 09:34:12

My dd has somewhat olive skin. Could someone please inform what is the correct cultural form of greeting her?

We love high fiving in the Cyborg house.

My DD1 4yo helpfully pointed out to dd2 2yo that you can't high five yourself...that's just clapping.

TanteRose Fri 17-May-13 10:00:49

am still grin at the thought of leaping in between the brothas as they attempt to high five, and turning it into a ceilidh

My children are mixed race so they must have some "black culture"
But they also have "white culture"
Are they supposed to hi five? And who do they hi five?

Black people? White people? Other mixed race people?

Is there a "white culture" greeting? Is there something they can do, something like a hi five but not actually a hi five as they only have half "black culture"?

appletarts Fri 17-May-13 10:32:14

As they're not being paid I think you should be pleased they enjoy being there, I'm thinking high 5's usually indicate some sense of high spirits yah? Or of course you could always come to work in a straw skirt and see if that helps you feel more comfortable in your ethnically diverse workplace, start a raindance or something like that. I'd love to know the organisation...not amnesty or something like that is it?

"I think the 'bros' call that leaving you hanging"

I read that thinking; Bros? Is high 5-ing a Bros thing? Ahhh Bros were good grin

Actual LOL at "high five scuba dive". My DD went through phase of doing this a million times a day grin

My dog high fives. My DC fist bump. I don't like touching anyone <sprays anti-bac>

Sheshelob Fri 17-May-13 10:53:51

"White culture" greeting: awkward, moist handshake whilst avoiding eye contact and mumbling something about being fine.

This thread is fucking hilarious.

Op - you probably aren't included because they can tell you are a bit if a buzz kill. And a bit of a racist.

gordyslovesheep Fri 17-May-13 11:00:02

practice this face op

LedaOfSparta Fri 17-May-13 11:02:37

Mister Maker just High 5'd. He does have crazy hair though so maybe it's also a special greeting amongst his Makery brethren?

TattyDevine Fri 17-May-13 11:16:30

I am laughing so hard some tears just ran down my legs.

Mainly at the responses rather than the op

"makery brethren" lolololol

high fiving yourself is just clapping etc lol

welliesandpyjamas Fri 17-May-13 11:18:30

Tantrums, could they maybe do a High Two Point Five?

NoelHeadbands Fri 17-May-13 11:19:25

Can y'all quit with the jibber jabber jive talkin'.



EldritchCleavage Fri 17-May-13 11:20:52

Of course it's cultural! All black people have the same culture.

Next time, just walk up to them and say 'I say, my good man, could I have a 'High Five', what?' and I'm sure they will include you.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Fri 17-May-13 11:27:30

Tantrum - I bet his face was a picture as he was thinking why is this mad woman talking to me about africa? grin

hecsy I dont think he knew what to say grin

As she was leaving she was saying something about how hot it was but dh would "be used to that, being from Africa"

He looked at her and said "actually I was born in Hackney"

oh, she said but your parents are from Africa?
No, Jamaica.

Oh well she said, you look African.

bootsycollins Fri 17-May-13 11:43:57

I haven't done a high five since I was in the cinema watching Iron Man 3 on bank holiday Monday. Iron Mans crime busting right hand man had just saved the Presidents life so it was definitely worthy. This thread has inspired me to go out and high five the first person I see, it's actually impossible to high five somebody without smiling.

Thinking on it that might not be my best idea of the day, I could well end up being charged with assault or end up in a crack den.

fromparistoberlin Fri 17-May-13 11:46:16



Lancashiregirl Fri 17-May-13 11:48:47

Used to work with a guy who constantly tweaked his nipples through his shirt - might try it myself in a tricky meeting sometime.

WestieMamma Fri 17-May-13 11:50:07

High fives? In the office? <^faints^>

Stamp it out now. Before you know it they'll be wanting another scoop of coal for the fire.

DH is culturally confused as he asks the DC's for high fives in Arabic.

I think this is because he North African and all people who come from Africa are the same.

True Fact hmm

Sheshelob Fri 17-May-13 12:21:57

tantrums Do you think OP might be your HV?

gail734 Fri 17-May-13 12:46:09

My evil, pointy-haired boss gave a fellow teacher a proper telling off for high fiving a teenage student in the corridor. The high five was instigated by the pupil, but we're not supposed to touch the little treasures and the boss said that it was inappropriate contact! OP sounds a bit jealous.

Gunznroses Fri 17-May-13 13:13:24

And to add...those bloody VOLUNTEERS should know their place! How dare they work for nothing and have the nerve to high five on entering the office? Sounds like they may even be happy volunteers...they should be weeping!

deedotty Fri 17-May-13 15:40:46


deedotty Fri 17-May-13 15:41:30

You can do a "fist bump" - like make a fist, then knuckle to knuckle and go

"one love"


"every time, man"

deedotty Fri 17-May-13 15:42:44

Wasn't it on the Pom Bear thread where Chopsy pinches the OP's bottom? Is that posh peoples greeting equivalent of "high five"? hmm

Florabeebaby Fri 17-May-13 15:48:49

My DH is North African...but white.

His solicitor (years ago now) put him down as black...cos he's from Africa. And he did it whilst sitting opposite to my DH in an office grin

He also hi fives and so do my babies.

quietlysuggests Fri 17-May-13 15:49:10

OP it might be a yoof thing?
Are you a good bit older than them maybe?
Would you tell us a bit more about what it is you do, we'd love to know.

EldritchCleavage Fri 17-May-13 15:49:28

Did the OP get the response s/he was hoping for or expecting, do you think?

Mehrida Fri 17-May-13 17:45:39

I am a volunteer, I high five people. My Gran was African. Not black but if all Africans are the same...

I do think the OP has had a hard time of it though. OP, maybe try getting to know them a little better and you may find out more about them and why they do it?

Sheshelob Fri 17-May-13 18:43:12

I actually can't stop laughing every time I read the OP.

Either she is from the 40s or an alien on earth to study humans.

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