is this a new trend- custody battle 'pages' on facebook?

(36 Posts)
Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 12:24:25

i've seen 3 different pages come up as being liked or commented on by friends all entitled something like "get my children back with their daddy" (all 3 pages are by men).

the pages are updating with information about what has been discussed between the two parents, what solicitors are saying, court dates and outcomes of court hearings. one page i saw had a lot of abuse directed at the father running it and one has nothing but support for the father but alot of abuse for the mother. the other i didn't even look at.

is this a new trend? i feel very sorry for the children involved that this is being played out on the internet. it has their names, special events being mentioned that the mother is supposedly not permitting the dad to attend, lots of vitriol aimed at their mother.

EasilyBored Thu 16-May-13 12:28:21

I doubt this kind of publicity stunt would do much to help their situation though? It seems really unfair on the children to have it all played out like this. What goes on the internet stays on the internet, this could come back to haunt them.

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 12:36:44

yes that's what upset me about it. the chidlren will be able to see all this at some point. part of me suspects that is the point- the father wanting to be able to say "look how much i fought for you and look how evil your mother is"

poor children.

caramelwaffle Thu 16-May-13 12:52:48

Indeed, booyhoo

We clearly know the same people.

The thing is, I think they are just moving with the times in terms of communication media and also in my experience tend to be violent, abusive and controlling idiots.

Remaining supportive - in rl - to the partner who has escaped and actively choosing to sleepwalk back into the situation (whilst getting in to a parallel worse situation) is very, very....trying.

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 12:58:18

oh i dont know any of the fathers involved but people on my friend's list must do as it has come up on my newsfeed.

caramelwaffle Thu 16-May-13 13:14:15

I agree it seems to be happening more and more.

BabyMakesTheBoobiesGoLeaky Thu 16-May-13 13:15:53

Some people love drama. They love involving as many people as possible in their drama.

CheesyPoofs Thu 16-May-13 13:20:31

I've never seen this, but I would be appalled if any of my friends liked something like this and would seriously question their integrity.

DollyClothespeg Thu 16-May-13 13:25:54

What cheesypoofs said.

Saski Thu 16-May-13 13:29:53

One of my friends is going through a divorce and I'm constantly angry at the shit that they pull with each other, it seems like seemingly normal people take leave of all senses under some circumstances.

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 13:30:57

i think the people who have liked/commented must know the man involved (otherwise why like it? confused) but even so, if it was someone i knew i couldn't support a page like that. it's so unfair for the dcs having what is no doubt a really painful time narrated on the internet by a very biased (and bitter?) parent.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Thu 16-May-13 13:31:48

I haven't seen this on fb however a very good friend of mine is having a hideous time being blocked from seeing his little boy and I am astounded how he has managed to remain calm and dignified in the face of such accusations by his ex wife.

(she had an affair and left him taking the child with her.. he was heartbroken hadnt seen it coming and now has no access to his son.. they are going to court next month and he is applying for full custody)

EduCated Thu 16-May-13 13:32:20

Surely the family courts wouldn't look kindly on this? shock

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Thu 16-May-13 13:32:58

Would just like to add, that so many of my female friends who have got divorced have played out their divorce on facebook.... he said she said, he slept with xyz etc.. which is just as damaging for a child to find in the future.

DoctorRobert Thu 16-May-13 13:33:49

I've never seen this, but I would be appalled if any of my friends liked something like this and would seriously question their integrity.

Absolutely this.

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 13:34:50

what on earth are these peope thinking? why do they put it on FB?

BobStrangeNameforaGirl Thu 16-May-13 13:36:08

Isn't it against the law to disclose the fact that any child is the subject of a Court Order without the explicit permission of the Court?

I'm sure that's what it says on the front of mine?

caramelwaffle Thu 16-May-13 16:12:14

I have a feeling you are correct bob

booyhoo They are drama llamas.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 16-May-13 16:14:35

Ahhhh Facebook. There to be exploited by idiots

MammaTJ Thu 16-May-13 17:16:05

That is so sad for the children, even worse than going on Jeremy Kyle, surely.

Although, there's a thought for his wind up merchants researchers, they could find their next victims subjects on those pages.

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 17:22:47

they probably do mammatj. i'm sure his vultures know exactly where to look for their next victims.

they must enjoy the attention/ 'support' etc. i could think of nothing worse than having half the internet know my personal problems. having everyone pick sides and judge who is right and who is wrong etc. awful awful awful. -- i use Mn for that sort of stuff-- wink

MammaTJ Thu 16-May-13 17:29:48

I use MN for that sort of stuff

That got me laughing so much that my DS age 6, who a plane could land beside and he wouldn't notice, asked 'What you laughing at mum? Something tickling you?'

I love FB. I spend a lot of time on there and seem to put a lot of info, but it is inane comments like the one above, that my children make, asking what people are doing in the summer hols and general happiness that I post. I would never share my real life with people on there unlike on here.

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 17:41:05

yes. me too. or photos of my dog hmm

i've just noticed my terrible strikeout fail aswell. hate that.

KobayashiMaru Thu 16-May-13 18:04:33

I have never seen anything like this in FB or anywhere else, but clearly I don't have the asshats cluttering up my friends list like you do, OP.

flippinada Thu 16-May-13 18:06:40

It displays a singular lack of judgement at the very least.

I went through a residency "battle" (awful term) and the last thing on earth I would have considered was Facebooking it!

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 18:10:33

"but clearly I don't have the asshats cluttering up my friends list like you do, OP"

this sounds like you mean it as an insult. do you?

KobayashiMaru Thu 16-May-13 18:12:45

not really, just an accurate observation. It's people on your friends list either liking or posting on these pages, yes? Then they are asshats. Seems obvious to me.

CremeEggThief Thu 16-May-13 18:19:16

I have to admit I would love to slag off my STBXH in my Facebook statuses, especially when my divorce will come through. But I won't, as DS is one of my Facebook friends and ultimately, his feelings come first.

He does know and understand that I will never forgive his dad though, but he doesn't need to have his nose rubbed into it and sometimes, when he is being negative about his dad or his dad's family, I'm the one who changes the subject despite hating their guts

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 18:19:55

i meant was it meant as an insult to me.

KobayashiMaru Thu 16-May-13 18:54:42

I know. And as I said, not particularly. You might want to look at culling your friend list though.

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 18:57:55


KobayashiMaru Thu 16-May-13 19:01:20

I refer you to your OP. Is it not obvious why?

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 19:12:21


KobayashiMaru Thu 16-May-13 19:17:56

hmm Well, the only reason you are seeing these pages, the ones you think are awful enough to post about them here, is because your friends like them, or post on them It is your friends that are bringing this to you, and your friends that are popularising these pages. It's your friends that are part of the problem.
Do you not think this gives you pause to consider the people you are calling friends?

Booyhoo Thu 16-May-13 19:29:37

oh well, i'll delete them cause you say so then. woudn't want you losing any sleep over it. wink

or i could just carry on knowing that everyone on FB posts shit that other people dont necessarily agree with and everyone is an asshat at one time or another and that instead of terminating all contact with anyone who ever does something i dont agree with i could just hide that particular post and not be a social recluse for fear of encountering someone with different opinions.

MooseBeTimeForSpring Thu 16-May-13 19:43:13

I used to be a family Solicitor. It was the constantly warring parties who drove me nuts. If they were receiving legal aid they expected it to be a bottomless money pit funding their constant bickering. If they were privately paying they would instruct you to make calls and write letters and then complain when the bill arrived.

It is correct that court documents should be disclosed to no one other than the agencies involved and the parties to the case. It got to the point where my head of department said no more welfare reports were to leave the office. Instead, the client had to come in to read it. We were fed up of irate calls from friends and relatives calling in to slag the other party off and pick holes in the report.

We always told clients to stay off Facebook and no, please don't secretly record telephone conversations.

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